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Unwritten Rules for Hook-Up Sites

๐™ด๐š๐š’๐šš๐šž๐šŽ๐š๐š๐šŽ ๐™ต๐š˜๐š› ๐™ถ๐š›๐š’๐š—๐š๐š› | ๐š‚๐šŒ๐š›๐šž๐š๐š | ๐š‚๐šš๐šž๐š’๐š›๐š | ๐š‚๐š—๐š’๐š๐š๐š’๐šŽ๐šœ | ๐šŽ๐š๐šŒ

Lets standardize these hook up sites with some simple tips for new users or dumb โ€œstraightโ€ guys who donโ€™t know whatโ€™s up

1) If your profile is blank, send a photo of yourself in the first message. Obscure your face, send only your bicep, whatever the case may be, but by sending something you are reassure the other member you are not a time waster

2) If you have a blank profile and message someone with multiple public pics it is not reasonable to demand more pics from them without first providing pics of yourself. I donโ€™t care if youโ€™re married and discrete - most people are

3) Whenever possible, try to actually read a persons profile so you know whether or not youโ€™ll be compatible

4) Whenever possible actually fill out your profile information, stats and if you write a bio, keep it to four lines or less. Long winded rambles make you look desperate

5) Know your role If you choose to include it - If youโ€™re a 99% power bottoms donโ€™t put โ€œverse bottomโ€ for the 1 time you kinda tried topping. It screws up search results and annoys people

6) If the website has a built in โ€œlikeโ€ feature, a โ€œpokeโ€ or a โ€œwoofโ€ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐—ปโ€™๐˜ request people not use that feature on you. Show some humility if someone woofs at you, ignore it or politely go fuck yourself

7) ๐——๐—ผ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜€, ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜€๐˜ ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฝ๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜๐—ผ๐˜€, ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ (+/-๐Ÿฑ ๐˜†๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜€) ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ณ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚โ€™๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ธ ๐˜‚๐—ฝ. No one will hesitate slamming the door in your face when you show up for said hook-up

8)Be straight forward. If youโ€™re not interested, politely say so and wish the person luck.

9) Do not take it personally If you are blocked. Itโ€™s the name of the game and letting every single person youโ€™re not interested in down gently isnโ€™t plausible, (and honestly, itโ€™s not like you do that every time youโ€™ve blocked someone either)

10) Read between the lines - if a back and forth banter slows drastically after you send pictures that could mean the person is on the fence or it could mean they are not interested but not repulsed and want to politely let the convo die

11) Do not stalker message someone who has gone MIA for 2 seconds. You may not have a life but most of us do. You should never write more than two or three lines without a response. Block paragraph messages read like youโ€™re unbalanced

12) Report all fake profiles or third party spammers immediately and block them

13) Just pay for a membership If itโ€™s not going to break the bank. Not being able to afford it is one thing but being cheap makes you look, well, cheap (but not in the good way)

14) Be your own best friend and be confident. Post attractive, clear images, sell your good points and have fun. Donโ€™t look at other profiles with too much envy - you never know what their lives are really like

15) Donโ€™t take any of it too seriously - it should be fun

16) Itโ€™s not gonna kill you to be kind

What are your thoughts on the above? What points did I miss?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 75February 11, 2020 7:18 PM

OR truly be discreet and send no photos at all.

The hottest men I have met on that app refused photos. The ugliest sent me a photo essay on their best day 10 years and 20 pounds ago.

by Anonymousreply 1February 7, 2020 9:08 AM

R1 excellent point

by Anonymousreply 2February 7, 2020 9:13 AM

Always post you are VGL and expect the same - but that you are not arrogant, just realistic. Then complain in your description that you miss the days when the gay world was friendlier and more inclusive.

Also - put NO HOOKUPS!!! in all caps above your dick pic.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 3February 7, 2020 9:22 AM

If you are happily partnered, state you are not looking for sex - just here to make friends. Because happily partnered gay men always hang out on dating apps looking for friendship.

by Anonymousreply 4February 7, 2020 9:37 AM

Don't be offended if you are fat, fem or Asian.

by Anonymousreply 5February 7, 2020 9:48 AM

Where do I go?

by Anonymousreply 6February 7, 2020 10:16 AM

R6 Ancient Chinese Secret!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 7February 7, 2020 10:25 AM

Discrete and discreet have different meanings, OP.

by Anonymousreply 8February 7, 2020 10:25 AM

R8 Yeah well you know which meaning I meant

by Anonymousreply 9February 7, 2020 10:27 AM

Yes, r9. But you're still an idiot.

by Anonymousreply 10February 7, 2020 10:43 AM

Is there a place for the โ€œbi curiousโ€?

by Anonymousreply 11February 7, 2020 10:45 AM

Donโ€™t state all the things youโ€™re NOT into, but the things you ARE into. Why start your profile with negatives?

Nothing is a bigger turnoff than when your profile says, โ€œDonโ€™t waste my time,โ€ as if youโ€™re too good to be slumming on apps or something.

by Anonymousreply 12February 7, 2020 3:48 PM

R10 clearly skipped over no.16 LoL

by Anonymousreply 13February 7, 2020 3:51 PM

Is there really an app called Sniffies? Is it for cocaine users?

by Anonymousreply 14February 7, 2020 3:52 PM

R14, I would think Bumpies if it's da cocaine you seek ....

by Anonymousreply 15February 7, 2020 3:56 PM

Go to front of the line if you are BBC

by Anonymousreply 16February 7, 2020 4:05 PM

Donโ€™t take too long to present hole. There are plenty of eager bottoms out there

by Anonymousreply 17February 7, 2020 4:11 PM

True R17 while one bitch is complaining about wanting 'more pics' another is giving me an address.

by Anonymousreply 18February 7, 2020 4:19 PM

If I invite you over and keep asking if you are on your way, I may cancel you like an Uber ride via text if I orgasm before you get here.

by Anonymousreply 19February 7, 2020 4:27 PM

Donโ€™t go on Grindr looking for โ€œwomenโ€ only.

by Anonymousreply 20February 7, 2020 4:28 PM

Many of these rules are stupid and not etiquette-promoting. More proof the boomers couldn't be bothered to raise their children.

by Anonymousreply 21February 7, 2020 4:40 PM

R13, that was being kind, hon.

by Anonymousreply 22February 7, 2020 4:44 PM

Stop writing convoluted novels about yourself and your expectations on your profiles! Be brief and clear about anything else the formatted statistics haven't already provided. The extra info should contained in one paragraph with three concise sentences at most.

by Anonymousreply 23February 7, 2020 5:00 PM

Oops, I've just realized that OP already mentioned this in #4.

by Anonymousreply 24February 7, 2020 5:02 PM

R21 How constructive ๐Ÿ˜‚

by Anonymousreply 25February 7, 2020 5:27 PM

What do you want, R25? Those rules are repetitive, and are mostly about providing pictures and being honest. That somebody has to have it explained to be kind and honest is simply sad, but not unexpected from a generation who was raised by vipers/boomers. The article was most likely written by a millennial or younger.

by Anonymousreply 26February 7, 2020 6:08 PM

I hate people like r21 who make generalizations about age groups because they read one article they didn't like

by Anonymousreply 27February 7, 2020 6:11 PM

Face pic or blocked!

States in the description how they hate superficial people - and think inner beauty is what really matters lol ๐Ÿ˜‚

by Anonymousreply 28February 7, 2020 6:30 PM

Donโ€™t say โ€œface pic or blockedโ€ or similar unless you already have a face pic of your own in your profile.

by Anonymousreply 29February 7, 2020 6:48 PM

#11 just happened to me! I didnโ€™t respond within a few minutes and some desperate Mary! replied โ€œwell CLEARLY you have zero interest.โ€

FUCK OFF drama queen! If I didnโ€™t have interest or was on the fence before, I certainly donโ€™t now.

Pa-the-tic.

by Anonymousreply 30February 7, 2020 7:08 PM

How about don't say "face pic or blocked" ever? How about acting like a decent person at all times and in all contexts?

by Anonymousreply 31February 7, 2020 8:36 PM

R27 he learned a new word a few months ago R21 and uses it as much as possible regardless of whether it is relevant or accurate.

by Anonymousreply 32February 7, 2020 11:25 PM

I saw one today that said โ€œyouโ€™d be lucky if I hit you back.โ€

Oh, honey, please. You ainโ€™t all that.

But seriously, who would even respond to that?

by Anonymousreply 33February 10, 2020 11:33 AM

Do not put in your profile โ€œcome correct.โ€

You sound like an arrogant douchebag looking at the little people who deign to view your profile.

Puh-leez.

by Anonymousreply 34February 10, 2020 11:34 AM

Fuck the substance of this thread: I want to know how OP created the subtitle on his thread title.

by Anonymousreply 35February 10, 2020 11:47 AM

R34 Dafuq does that even mean?

by Anonymousreply 36February 10, 2020 12:00 PM

I wish I knew, r36. Iโ€™ve been asking that for years without a satisfactory answer.

by Anonymousreply 37February 10, 2020 12:02 PM

Donโ€™t post your IG link if your account is private.

Whatโ€™s the point?

by Anonymousreply 38February 10, 2020 12:20 PM

"Come Correct" means to initiate your conversation in a respectful manner, and NOT by saying things like "Hey, you horny?" "You looking to suck dick/fuck some ass?" or any other crude opening statement. Have some propriety and decorum before finally asking about sex.

by Anonymousreply 39February 10, 2020 1:49 PM

R39 so hos have this whole song and dance others are required to perform so they donโ€™t have to admit to themselves theyโ€™re hos?

by Anonymousreply 40February 10, 2020 1:54 PM

The ones that always baffled me were the Angry Profiles

You know "Tired of all the time wasters on here! If you're not masc, don't tell me you are! If you have more than 10% body fat don't tell me you're ripped! Send me a clear face pic (without sunglasses) in your first message or you'll be blocked... yadda, yadda, yadda."

I would read those and think "there is no way having sex with this guy is going to be fun. He will take 'bossy bottom' to new heights."

The other ones that baffled me were the ones who would send 10 photos of their anus to you as the first message. 90% of the time they were Asian or Latino. No idea why that was.

by Anonymousreply 41February 10, 2020 1:59 PM

R40 Personally, you shouldn't be shocked if someone bluntly asks you for sex on a hookup app like Grindr or Scruff. But many guys still want you to "come correct" and engage in some respectful preliminary chitchat before asking about sex. It's a way to feel someone out before deciding whether or not to have sex with them.

by Anonymousreply 42February 10, 2020 2:13 PM

R39 they should be shunned for:

1) the dreaded โ€œcultural appropriationโ€ since that phrase is kinda ghetto-black and we know how โ€œwokeโ€ Grindr is now (โ€œGrindr is Kindr) ๐Ÿคฎ

And 2) their lack of grammatical knowledge (I.e. using an adjective where an adverb should be)

by Anonymousreply 43February 10, 2020 2:23 PM

R40, Iโ€™d propose to you, but Iโ€™m a ho.

by Anonymousreply 44February 10, 2020 2:30 PM

Come correct, r44.

by Anonymousreply 45February 10, 2020 6:13 PM

R45, Iโ€™ve been coming for close to 30 years. As far as I know Iโ€™ve always done it correct.

Course I canโ€™t guarantee that.

by Anonymousreply 46February 10, 2020 7:42 PM

R35 changed the font of the first line

by Anonymousreply 47February 10, 2020 10:32 PM

Right R47

But most HTML code doesn't seem to work on DL

For instance I doubt this will work

HTML Font

A Test

This is demo text

by Anonymousreply 48February 10, 2020 11:09 PM

Okay, I 100% take that back then-- HTML DOES work on DL

by Anonymousreply 49February 10, 2020 11:10 PM

I meant R48

Now I have to play with this. Sorry chaps

Header 1

Header 2

Header 3

Back to normal

by Anonymousreply 50February 10, 2020 11:13 PM

Is This Blue

Is This Red

by Anonymousreply 51February 10, 2020 11:14 PM

Is This Red

Is This Orange

Is This Yellow

Is This Green

Is This Blue

Is This Indigo

Is This Violet

by Anonymousreply 52February 10, 2020 11:17 PM

A character from Rocky Horror

by Anonymousreply 53February 10, 2020 11:18 PM

Profile pictures should only include you in them, or the two of you If youโ€™re on as a couple. Donโ€™t include photos with your sister or hag. If you include a picture with multiple people in it Iโ€™m going to assume ๐“Ž๐‘œ๐“Šโ€™๐“‡๐‘’ ๐“‰๐’ฝ๐‘’ ๐“Š๐‘”๐“๐“Ž ๐‘œ๐“ƒ๐‘’ and are trying to distract

by Anonymousreply 54February 11, 2020 2:14 AM

I canโ€™t stand the self important fags who demand you start each introduction with anything except one of these exceptionally common phrases: Hello! Hi! How are you? Whatโ€™s up? Looking? Hey! ... like, go fuck yourself

My favorite is When someoneโ€™s profile tells you not to tap them and yet theyโ€™ve tapped you. I always call them out on it

by Anonymousreply 55February 11, 2020 2:17 AM

R42 I totally agree - ITS A HOOK UP SITE - expect people looking to hook up, nudes and short concise hook up chat

Go to match or ChristianMingle if you want to go on dates and brush each otherโ€™s hair - or at least donโ€™t be a dick about people wanting to hook up

by Anonymousreply 56February 11, 2020 2:20 AM

R55 no guy who has a profile that says โ€œdonโ€™t tap meโ€ has ever tapped me.

And I get a lot of taps.

I call bs.

by Anonymousreply 57February 11, 2020 2:22 AM

To the random few creeps who send asshole pictures without being asked for one: ๐—ก๐—ผ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฐ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜‚๐—ฝ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ธ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฐ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜‚๐—ฝ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฒ. No, asking to see pics of you do not include your asshole. Iโ€™m verse but even most tops I know donโ€™t want to see a close up of what you had for lunch. Itโ€™s not hot. So please just stop.

by Anonymousreply 58February 11, 2020 2:23 AM

R57 thatโ€™s a pretty specific thing for me to BS on but ok?

by Anonymousreply 59February 11, 2020 2:24 AM

R56 attractive guys who want to hook up is fine by pretty much everyone.

Itโ€™s the fugs who want to hook up that a waste of time.

by Anonymousreply 60February 11, 2020 2:24 AM

I'm 5'11", 240lbs but wear it well

by Anonymousreply 61February 11, 2020 4:01 AM

No one cares if fugs or old people hook upโ€”the problem is, even fugs and old people donโ€™t want fugs and old people, and get an attitude when a fiug or an old person tries to hit on them.

There is subconscious magical realism on apps where somehow Prince Charmings fall for Quasimodos. An obvious exaggerationโ€” but if guys actually considered guys they could get, they might find someone theyโ€™d like. Instead, you have all of the nerds at the school dance shutting out anyone but the cheerleadersโ€”and then pissed off because they are getting the cold shoulder.

by Anonymousreply 62February 11, 2020 6:11 AM

the cold shoulder is a funny phrase.

by Anonymousreply 63February 11, 2020 6:38 AM

R55 let us make it simple for you.

What's up? My cock, or I would not be on this stupid app

How are you? Horny

Hello? You want to suck dick or bend over the bed bitch? Fucking hello yourself.

They trite, 'polite' phrases are conversation non starters, get to the point, and quickly.

by Anonymousreply 64February 11, 2020 6:38 AM

I guess Tinder now has a special section for folks just looking for friends. If they had that on Grndr, all the โ€œhappily partneredโ€ friend seekersโ€”and those pretending to not be looking to hook upโ€”would have VIP seating!

by Anonymousreply 65February 11, 2020 7:06 AM

Don't use passive-aggression, nothing wilts the cock faster.

Sending '?' when someone doesn't reply in 5 seconds, or 'So not interested I guess LOL' shows over desperation.

by Anonymousreply 66February 11, 2020 7:15 AM

Lol R62, so true. Thatโ€™s why you offer to pay, if you want to fuck above your level.

by Anonymousreply 67February 11, 2020 7:30 AM

R58, I beg you, I implore you, PLEASE shout that from the highest mountain you can so everyone can hear that.

Iโ€™m a top and find it disgusting. I donโ€™t want to see your insides.

by Anonymousreply 68February 11, 2020 12:56 PM

I don't mind seeing a nice pair of ass cheeks, but I don't need them spread apart and I certainly don't need to see prolapsed 'rosebuds'.

by Anonymousreply 69February 11, 2020 1:23 PM

No point you have to make is so important you need to html it beyond the basics. Glitter rainbow ponies are annoying.

by Anonymousreply 70February 11, 2020 1:27 PM

R68 and R58, I agree with you, but people seem to have forgotten how the butthole selfie came about. There was a new demand for pics on profiles and in personals ads. Before about 2006, they had to be uploaded on a chat app or more likely emailed to somebody you were chatting with at the time. This was a bit tedious, so people didn't have multiple pics. These old ways also allowed you considerable discretion over pic-sharing.

With apps and always-displayed pics in ads, people needed to have an image up all the time, or risk being ignored, as you could filter out pic-less profiles. However, people didn't like the new threat to anonymity online, so many people posted torso pics or other obscured pics, rather than face pics. Hordes of bottoms decided to show the goods in a thirsty attempt at being first in line for limited top attention. It was usually tragic, but occasionally a good butt pic would turn you on.

by Anonymousreply 71February 11, 2020 5:24 PM

If someone asks how are you doing, i usually reply: I am feeling a little horny; it makes my intentions known without being overly aggressive or desperate

by Anonymousreply 72February 11, 2020 6:58 PM

So glad to see there are others confused about the โ€œDont.....x,y,z.โ€ ads. Who are these people? Do they get any hits? Has anyone here ever put that in their profile? I canโ€™t think of a bigger turn off than being berated before you even make contact.

by Anonymousreply 73February 11, 2020 7:05 PM

R73 if theyโ€™re attractive, they get far more hits than they can handle, and theyโ€™re sick of entitled stupid fugs hitting on them.

by Anonymousreply 74February 11, 2020 7:10 PM

I agree, if there are too many rules or attitude, I just keep moving

by Anonymousreply 75February 11, 2020 7:18 PM
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