Stars Dissing Stars

J-Low Blow

Really bothered you he got two Oscars and you got zippo, eh Dick?

Richard Harris, that old drunk....sure, bring it on.

After a stage performance of "My Fair Lady" an old woman asked Rex Harrison for an autograph and he told her to Sod Off. She was so incensed by this that she rolled up her program and smacked him on the head with it, prompting fellow actor Stanley Holloway to say: "That's the first time the fan has hit the shit!"

[quote]According to The Sydney Morning Herald, Hepburn had some strong thoughts about Hollywood's heavy-hitters. Among her "admiration for John Travolta" and "fascination with Michael Jackson," the silver screen delight also had an "intense dislike for Meryl Streep as an actress." Wait, why?

[quote]While she approved of actresses such as Julia Roberts and Melanie Griffith, Hepburn allegedly said Streep was her least favorite, "saying she was too cerebral and over-reliant on technique." Another actress the diva couldn't handle? Glenn Close, musing she had "big, fat, ugly feet." Talk about harsh!

[quote]Considering Streep already had 13 Academy Award noms under her belt up until Hepburn's passing (compared to Hepburn's equally impressive 12 noms, including four wins), perhaps the legendary performer couldn't handle passing the torch to a new leading lady?

Hedda Hopper printed that Michael Wilding was homosexual and warned Liz Taylor from marrying him. Stuart Granger (who had a sexual encounter with Wilding during the war) told Hopper: "How dare you accuse a friend of mine of being queer, you raddled, dried up, frustrated old cunt!"

Lance Hendrickson on Oliver Reed: "I remember the day when Oliver Reed came in. He was playing a cardinal sent by the Pope (in "The Pit and the Pendulum").. He was such a loose cannon. When I met him, we said our hellos and then he said, 'You want to see something?' I said, 'What?" And he's out with his dick. The head was tattooed with what looked like an ace of spades -- it was a quick glance. I said, 'Put that ugly fucking thing away.' He just laughed."

Fucking Diana Ross blew a gasket in the mid 80s when the marquee at Caesar’s Palace had “coming soon.... Sheena Easton” at the bottom of the sign during her engagement there.

Who??

r5, I'm assuming you mean Katherine, not Audrey.

Wow, someone left HIS cake out in the rain.

Courtney Love about Victoria Beckham: "She's nice..........enough."

(happens at the 8:50 mark)

(Catty) Frank Langella on Charlton Heston: "He possessed about as much sex appeal as a railroad tie and was about as humorless as a CAT scan."

Jon Cryer is a troll.

Hugh Grant strafed Drew Barrymore on Graham Norton saying he disliked her because "She made the mistake of giving me notes." He looked at Meryl Streep, who was sitting next to him, and said, "I mean, how would you take that?" Streep replied, "Well, I took them very well didn't I," which left Grant (thankfully) speechless. At 1:20 below.

Frank Langella's disses of various stars could take this thread to 600. This might be my favorite:

All actors are angry babies, and I know of no angrier baby than Anne Bancroft.

And another Bancroft:

Mike Nichols mentioned to Bancroft that Dustin Hoffman was very nervous in their scenes together in The Graduate so could she please take it easy with him. She replied: "Well, Dustin's not THAT nervous. We did the scene in bed and he was as hard as a rock . . . short Jewish guys."

Elia Kazan compared James Dean with Marlon Brando:

"Dean's body was very graphic; it was almost writhing in pain sometimes He was very twisted as if he were cringing all the time. He was sad and sulky. You kept expecting him to cry. Dean was a cripple anyway, inside -- he was not like Marlon Brando. People compared them, but there was no similarity. He was a far sicker kid and Brando's not sick, he's just troubled. He was deeply rebellious against the bourgeois spirit, the over-ordering of life."

Brando was a plenty sick puppy.

Bette Midler about Princess Anne: She loves nature, despite what it did to her.

Frank Langella on Elia Kazan:

"He was a serial fucker of women's bodies and men's minds, and used his profound perceptions about the human condition as cruel grist for his own ambitious mill. And worse, he deserted his friends, by ratting on them to the House Un-American Activities Committee in order to save his own professional skin."

Keith Richards on Mick Jagger:

"Marianne had no fun with his tiny todger. I know he's got an enormous pair of balls – but it doesn't quite fill the gap."

Marianne Faithfull:

"Not quite, but nearly."

Jack Nicholson on Jessica Lange: "She's like a delicate fawn crossed with a Buick."

R23, I don’t think that’s a diss.

Marc Almond on Jimmy Sommerville:

"He thinks I should do more for the gay community, and he's right. I should strangle him."

Marilyn Monroe about Peter Lawford: "I felt very uneasy at different times with him, the real reason I was afraid of him is because I believe him to be homosexual . . . Peter wants to be a woman and would like to be me, I think."

[quote]Dean's body was very graphic; it was almost writhing in pain sometimes He was very twisted as if he were cringing all the time. He was sad and sulky. You kept expecting him to cry

I agree.

Courtney Love on Trent Reznor:

"Don't call your band Nine Inch Nails if you have a three inch one."

Vivien Leigh on why she refused to replace Joan Crawford in Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte: "I can just about stand looking at Joan Crawford's face at six o'clock in the morning, but not Bette Davis's.

I'd rather kiss Hitler.

Olivier on Marilyn: "She was a... divided person".

Why do I doubt that MM was afraid of a gay man.

Radie Harris, a longtime Broadway and entertainment world columnist(who had a wooden leg), was "holding court" somewhere in London. Into the room sweeps the actress, Coral Browne, who snickered/smirked, "Oh look, there's Radie Harris, with all of London at her foot." Strange as it may seem, Miss Harris sued Miss Browne for slander, on what grounds I can't imagine, since it was the truth, and won in court. Evidently, she had a leg to stand on. I said that before someone else certainly would've.

I guess if Liberace can sue for slander and/or libel(and win), by being accused of being homosexual then anything is possible.

Yeah, Marilyn must've been fucked up if/when she said that. A little bit of paranoia comes through.

[quotes]Why do I doubt that MM was afraid of a gay man

Perhaps interactions with Lawford left her wondering where she fits in the equation.

"They bought it and they shipped it back". Janet on the failure of Madonna's Erotica. " It's dance music, I'll give it that, but what I'm doing has a little bit more...class to it". Janet on the comparison between Erotica and the Janet album.

"Couldn't they at least have hired a REAL actress?????"--Faye Dunaway, fuming, on a possible Bonnie and Clyde remake, starring Hilary Duff

"He sounds like a rabid, drag-queen cross between Whitney Houston and Boy George"--me on Sam Smith

Tony Curtis on what it was like kissing Marilyn Monroe: "It was like kissing Hitler."

"It would be more shocking if he DIDN'T have HIV"--Me on the "shocking" news that Charlie Sheen has HIV

Simone Signoret on Vivien Leigh: "In Hollywood, in 1964, Vivien Leigh gave elegant dinners in the big house she had rented. She was no longer Laurence Olivier's wife, but she wanted to remain Lady Olivier. At the end of these evenings the phonograph played the theme from Gone With The Wind."

Billy WIlder on Marilyn Monroe: "The question is whether Marilyn is a person at all, or one of the greatest Du Pont products ever invented. She has breasts like granite. She defies gravity. She has a brain like swiss cheese, full of holes. She arrives late and tells you she couldn't find the studio and she's been working there for years."

Laurence Olivier on Vivien Leigh: "You know she was a nymphomaniac! And I'm a premature ejaculator! Not a good match-up."

R28 I've always wondered if she was being facetious, or if Trent is actually THAT small.

Carole Lombard on Cary Grant and Randolph Scott: "Their friendship is perfect. Randy pays the bills and Cary mails them."

Katharine Hepburn returned to the Broadway stage in the 1930's and the play was not well received. Critic Dorothy Parker pounded the final nail in the coffin by describing Hepburn's performance, "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B". Ouch!

Aretha Franklin, upon being asked about Taylor Swift's vocal talents:

"Okay, uh...great gowns, beautiful gowns."

I loved when Kathy Griffin called out Jon Hamm as a mean drunk. Because he is one.

"I've always wondered if she was being facetious, or if Trent is actually THAT small."

You can't believe ANYTHING Courtney Love says. She's a pathological liar. She said she and Reznor fucked but he's always denied it. I believe him. She also spread rumors that she became impregnated by him (the baby was miscarried or aborted). When informed of THAT Reznor replied "that would have been the second immaculate conception." Anyway, she wanted him to be her boyfriend, he wasn't interested, so she started dissing him. She does that a lot, that is, lies about people.

Sophia Loren on the picture below:

"She came right for my table. She knew everyone was watching. She sat down . . . look at the picture. Where are my eyes? I'm staring at her nipples because I am afraid they are about to fall onto my plate. In my face you can see the fear. I'm so frightened that everything in her dress is going to blow -- BOOM! -- and spill all over the table."

R49, I don't know--Tori Amos hates her and I think I"ve read it's because Courtney got in between her and Trent.

Cher on Madonna:

She could afford to be a little more magnanimous and a little less of a cunt.

I'm paraphrasing here, but I remember Boy George on Madonna.

"She doesn't need talent - she knows how to buy it. She can buy the sound of now."

" I don't know--Tori Amos hates her and I think I"ve read it's because Courtney got in between her and Trent."

There was never a relationship between Courtney Love and Trent Reznor but she wanted one. Reznor DID have a relationship with Tori Amos. Courtney Love, presumably by spreading lies, created a rift between them. She truly diabolical.

Thats a very astute comment from Boy George.

George has been a bitter cunt in her day (and still today) but he's very smart about a lot of things.

Sandra Bernhard on Madonna: "I gave her everything -- friendship, love. How did she pay me back? By stabbing me in the back. I'm telling you as sure as I'm standing here, Madonna will steal everything from you, even your closest friends if she can get her grubby little hands on them. Did I tell you about my nightmare? I dreamt I was Madonna, shopping at Tiffany's, where I was trying to buy some class."

Yikes. That JLo interview. Her publicist must have lost their shit. No wonder everyone hates her.

Geraldine Page on George C Scott:

"Great actor, alcoholic, wife beater. What else do you want to know?"

My favorite argument between Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine.

In most versions of the story, Merman returns to the house after taping a television show. It went well, and after a glance at her happy countenance, Borgnine immediately starts snarling:

BORGNINE: What are you so pleased about?

MERMAN: Well, they just loved my thirty-five-year-old voice, and my thirty-five-year-old face, and my thirty-five-year-old figure.

BORGNINE: And what about your sixty-five-year-old cunt?

MERMAN: Nobody mentioned you at all.

Shania Twain on Taylor Swift “Taylor is the epitome of a hard worker, talent and you don’t have to be beautiful to be a star”

Miriam Margolyes on Kristen Scott Thomas “I’ve always disliked her intensely”

Miriam Margolyes on Winona Ryder “I don’t like her, I really don’t”

Miriam Margolyes on Marta Kauffman “ I really liked David Crane, but I couldn’t stand Marta Kauffman. I thought she was a monster”

I don't remember if it was an actor or a critic but they described a performance by James Brolin as, "He's so wooden you want to spray him with Pledge."

Also a critic was asked what he thought of Cleopatra and he responded, "I just came to see the asp."

More Boy George on Madonna:

"I say she's got no talent. But maybe that's her talent - not having one."

Nick Cave: “I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this garbage?’ And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers.”

Roseanne on Tom Arnold: "We were trying to get pregnant but I forgot one of us had to have a penis."

Hunter S. Thompson on presidential candidate Hubert Humphrey: "They don't hardly make 'em like Hubert anymore, but just to be on the safe side he should be castrated anyway."

Shortly after Kurt Cobain died by suicide Courtney Love publicly said, "Why couldn't it have been Eddie Vedder?".

Miriam Margolyes is such a cunt. And I say that in a loving way. Love her completely uncompromising dedication to saying whatever comes to mind.

Those poor ladies on Call The Midwife must be apoplectic.

Old man Quincy Jones giving zero fucks and spilling more tea than the Boston Tea Party, until his family and carers yanked him away from the media and locked him up at home.

Something an insane murderess would say R67

Sterling Hayden on Joan Crawford:

"There's is not enough money in Hollywood to lure me into making another picture with Joan Crawford. And I like money."

George Cukor on Marilyn Monroe: "There's been an awful lot of crap written about Marilyn Monroe, and I don't know if there may be an exact psychiatric term for what was wrong with her but truth to tell, I think she was quite mad. The mother was mad, and poor Marilyn was mad, yet in certain ways she was very shrewd. I once heard her talk in her ordinary voice, which was quite unattractive. So she invented this appealing baby voice."

Otto Preminger on Marilyn: "Marilyn Monroe? A vacuum with nipples."

"If you happen to run into Dorothy Kilgallen, make sure you're in your car." - Frank Sinatra

Lauren Bacall liked her though: "I couldn't dislike Marilyn. She had no meanness in her -- no bitchery."

Rex Reed called Connie Francis's song Where The Boys Are "plaintive bleating".

Shelly Winters said Frank Sinatra called her "a bitch of a Brooklyn blonde" and she called him a "Hoboken bastard".

R77, Sinatra called Shelley a "[bold]bow-legged[/bold] bitch of a Brooklyn blonde." And she called him a "skinny, no-talent, stupid Hoboken bastard."

Rod Taylor on Chuck Norris: "The guy that does that show Walker, Texas Ranger? He's a real fucking asshole, nothing but ego."

Bob Mitchum to Frank Langella: Get out your pen Frank and take this down. Herewith is a list of the ten dullest actors in Hollywood: Gregory Peck."

Frank Sinatra on Liz Smith:

"Most dames would like to get with Burt Reynolds, but old Lez prefers [italic]Debbie[/italic] Reynolds."

Woody Allen on Joaquin Phoenix: "He's full of emotion and agony. If he says, 'Pass the salt,' it's like the scene where Oedipus puts out his eyes."

[quote] Also a critic was asked what he thought of Cleopatra and he responded, "I just came to see the asp."

It was Charles Addams who said that at the premiere, which makes the quotation ten times funnier.

Prince on Michael Jackson:

"Michael Jackson's album was only called 'Bad' because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for 'Pathetic.'"

Cybill Shepherd on Elvis: "The fact is, Elvis got hooked on speed in the army ... then it got out of control. Did I want to be with someone who would have dragged me down? The only way to have stayed with Elvis was by doing drugs.

R67 if that is true, I mean... she had a point.

Robert Duvall on Vanessa Redgrave: "Some Trotskyite. She travels by Rolls-Royce."

Joan Crawford on Bette Davis:

"Miss Davis was always partial to covering up her face in motion pictures. She called it 'art.' Others might call it camouflage — a cover-up for the absence of any real beauty." Meow!

Walter Matthau absolutely loathed Barbra Streisand (whom he called "Miss Ptomaine" when they did "Hello, Doilly!" together.

Matthau on Streisand:

“I have more talent in my smallest fart than she does in her entire body."

"The trouble with Barbra is that she became a star long before she became an actress. Which is a pity, because if she learned her trade properly, she might become a competent actress instead of a freak attraction–like a boa constrictor.”

Mickey Rourke when asked how his affair with Courtney Love was going: "I'd rather be on a deserted island with a gorilla."

"I used to be a belter, like Whitney Houston, but then I took voice lessons, and I learned how to REALLY sing."

Sinatra was outing Debbie Reynolds as well as Liz Smith?

Coral Browne, again: "I never understood what Godfrey Tearle saw in Jill Bennett until I once saw her eating corn on the cob at the Ivy."

R61, WOW! Shania really said that? I would have never seen that coming.

[quote] Shortly after Kurt Cobain died by suicide Courtney Love publicly said, "Why couldn't it have been Eddie Vedder?".

That reminds me of what Robert Christgau (music critic) wrote in the Village Voice about what his wife said after John Lennon was assassinated--"why not Paul McCartney or Ringo Starr?". Apparently, lots of people complained about that one!

Shania Twain has gotten so blowsy. When is Diplo going to settle down with a nice boyfriend?

Sylvester Stallone thought a Bruce Willis ad-lib in a scene with Stallone and Schwarzenegger in The Expendables was the epitome of wit: "He goes 'Why don't you just suck one another's cocks?' I thought 'You can't tell Rambo and The Terminator to suck each other's cocks!' [But then] I said to the guys, 'You know what, that's worth the price of admission right there.'"

Upon hearing that Hilary Duff was cast as Bonnie in a remake of Bonnie and Clyde (which ended up never being made), Faye Dunaway said "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?"

To which Hilary responded, "I think that my fans who are going to go see the movie don’t even know who she is. I think it was a little unnecessary, but I might be mad if I looked like that now, too."

At a wrap party for Bye Bye Birdie, tributes and speeches flowed for the cast. It was Ann-Margret who was the center of attention. When it was Maureen Stapleton's turn she said, "Well, I guess I'm the only one here who doesn't want to fuck Ann-Margret!"

Joan Crawford on Elizabeth Taylor: "Miss Taylor is a spoiled, indulgent child, a blemish on public decency."

Louise Brooks called Shirley Temple: "A swaggering tough little shit."

Kathleen Turner meeting Lauren Bacall for the first time: "Hi, I'm the young you."

Vivian Vance on William Frawley's death: "Champagne for Everyone!"

John Wayne on Midnight Cowboy: "Wouldn't you say that the 'wonderful love' of these two men in Midnight Cowboy, a story about two fags, qualifies as a perverse movie?"

Rock Hudson on John Wayne: "I did a movie with Duke Wayne and was very surprised to find out he had small feet, wore lifts, and a corset. Hollywood is seldom what it seems."

But wasn't John Ford...?

Mae West on Marlene Dietrich: "That Kraut cunt."

W.C. Fields on Mae West: "Ah, yes, Mae West -- a plumber's idea of Cleopatra."

Raquel West on working with Mae West: "I do think she was a spectacular talent. There was no question she was a comedic genius, but I did, in person, actually feel like she was some kind of dock worker in drag."

Joan Crawford on how she learned to act: "All that time hanging around the sets, watching Norma Shearer making the most of her three expressions was a help."

Burt Reynolds on Charlie Sheen's AIDS diagnosis: "I don't feel bad for him. He's getting what he deserves. If you're going to misbehave like that, they're going to get you. He misbehaved badly. Very badly."

Burt Reynolds was a bitter, closeted asshole.

This will be paraphrased, because I do not have the book at hand.

Years ago, I read the autobiography of Rosemary Clooney and it was just too nice, she was friends with SO many famous, interesting people but she really held back on bitchy stories (or possibly she was too dull to have any to tell).

The best part of the whole book was when RC was ill and her good friend Marlene Dietrich and some sidekick guy come over to nurse and cheer her. They brought Seconal suppositories for her, which Marlene's circle of pals referred to as "Lamases" because they'd put one to sleep as surely and as deeply as Fernando Lamas would!

[quote]At a wrap party for Bye Bye Birdie, tributes and speeches flowed for the cast. It was Ann-Margret who was the center of attention. When it was Maureen Stapleton's turn she said, "Well, I guess I'm the only one here who doesn't want to fuck Ann-Margret!"

1. Not sure how that's a diss.

2. Was Paul Lynde not in attendance?

R111, Sheen has HIV, not AIDS.

Courtney asking "Why couldn't it be Eddie Vedder?" reminds me of something I saw quoted on Twitter a few years ago, when Gina Arnold was talking about the day Kurt Cobain died, when all we knew is a dead body was at his home but it wasn't yet identified as Kurt:

[quote]I, for instance, have had one laugh in 48 hours and it was an exceedingly black one: As a colleague and I stared, horrified, at an early Friday morning AP wire report announcing the discovery of a dead body on the Cobain property which was described as being a “white blond male in its mid-20s,” she turned to me and said in a voice fraught with high hopes, “Maybe it’s Beck.”

Boy George wrote in his book, “Take it Like a Man”, that when he attended Madonna’s wedding to Sean Penn, the press asked him what he’d brought as a gift for the bride. His response? “A bar of soap!”

Maybe it’s apocryphal, but I read that Mae West was asked about Raquel Welch, and she replied, “Raquel who?!”

Kathleen Turner meeting Lauren Bacall for the first time: "Hi, I'm the young you."

L.B.: "And I'm the legend you'll never be".

Kathleen Turner seems like she'd be more fun to hang out with than that dead-lady corpse, Bacall.

Burt Reynolds on Tom Selleck: "He's part me and part Shetland pony"

Burt Reynolds on Siskel & Ebert: "These guys. One takes-up 2 chairs... the other one sits in the crack"

Ellen: I wanna thank you again for this (being on ellens show);´cause i AM flatterd.Everybody obviously wants to talk to you and the fact that you are talking to me is a big deal. Streisand: Oh you´ve got good ratings!

Thanks R83 I couldn't find the original source but yes Addams makes it way funnier.

"You're no one in the rock industry unless you've feuded with me or slept with Winona Ryder." - Courtney Love

Orson Welles on Spencer Tracy: “a hateful, hateful man… he hated everybody… he’s one of those bitchy Irishmen.”

Welles on Laurence Olivier: "Larry is very, I mean seriously, stupid; he said, ‘I believe that intelligence is a handicap in an actor. Because it means that you’re not naturally emotive, but rather cerebral.’" Also on Olivier's acting in King Lear for the BBC Welles recalled that his first two scenes were ‘the worst things I ever saw in my life’.

On Marlon Brando and his neck: “not very bright” and had a thick neck like a “huge sausage”.

On Bette Davis: “I never could stand looking at Bette Davis so I don’t want to see her act”

On Woody Allen: “I hate Woody Allen physically. I dislike that kind of man. I can hardly bear to talk to him. He has the Chaplin disease. That particular combination of arrogance and timidity sets my teeth on edge.”

On Humphrey Bogart: “both a coward and a very bad fighter… picking fights in nightclubs in the sure knowledge that the waiters would stop him” And on his acting credibility: “a well-educated, upper-class American trying to be tough. You didn’t believe him as a tough guy.”

Orson Welles sounds like he was an insufferable prick. No doubt he was. He also sounds pretty stupid.

Orson Welles on when he was dating Marilyn:

“She was a girlfriend of mine. I used to take her to parties before she was a star. I wanted to promote her career. Nobody even glanced at Marilyn. You’d see these beautiful girls, the most chic girls in town, who spent a fortune at the beauty parlour and on their clothes, and everybody said, ‘Darling, you’re looking wonderful!’ And then they’d ignore them. The men, not the women. The men would gather in the corner and start telling jokes or talking deals. The only time they talked about the girls was to say whether they scored with them the night before. I would point Marilyn out to Darryl [F. Zanuck, a big-time Hollywood producer], and say ‘What a sensational girl.’ He would answer, ‘She’s just another stock player. We’ve got a hundred of them. Stop trying to push these cunts on me. We’ve got her on for $125 a week.’

And then, about six months later, Darryl was paying Marilyn $400,000, and the men were looking at her - because some stamp had been put on her.”

Always liked Elsa Lancaster's comment to Frank Langella about her husband. She showed him the view of their swimming pool.

"Had you visited when Charles was alive, that is the area to which he would have taken you, suggested you swim in the nude, and then seduced you. That's where he took the beautiful boys. He was homosexual, you know."

(And then maid would serve Laughton a shit sandwich.)

Frank Langella is such a turd. I notice that he throws a lot of shit at celebrities (just about all of them more famous and talented than he ever was) but does not say a single world about his former "lover" Whoopi Goldberg. It that because she's such an exquisite, perfect person? I somehow doubt that. I think there would probably be a lot uncomplimentary things that could be said about her.

[quote]Elsa Lancaster

Oh, dear.

R93 - I'm laughing so hard at that one I almost choked on my own spit.

Oops, R130. Lanchester. Do it every time.

Any suspicions Jim Carrey had that Jones felt negatively about him were confirmed one night during the filming of Batman Forever. "I walked into a restaurant the night before our big scene in the Riddler's lair and the maitre'd said, 'You're working with Tommy Lee Jones, aren't you?' And I said 'Yeah, I am.' He said, 'He's in the back corner, he's having dinner.' I said, 'Oh, great, I'll go say hi.'" Carrey told Stern. "I went up to say hi and the blood drained from his face, in such a way that I realized that I had become the face of his pain or something." He got up, kind of shaking, and hugged me and said 'I hate you. I really don't like you,'" Carrey added. "I was like 'Wow, okay. Well, what's going on man?' And he said, 'I cannot sanction your buffoonery.' He did not want to work with me at that point."

[R89]: You got it all wrong! Matthau called Streisand on the set of Dolly "Madame Pétomane" after Joseph Pujol, the fartiste.

"Marlon Brando is an absolutely marvellous actor. He has incredible instincts. He's got such extraordinary taste and judgment, but he's so dumb it makes your skin crawl!" —Truman Capote

"He had preserved the mentality of an adolescent. When he doesn't try and someone's speaking to him, it's like a blank wall. In fact it's even less interesting because behind a blank wall you can always suppose that there's something interesting there. —Burt Reynolds on Brando

"Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper" —Rex Reed on Brando

The once-beautiful, most distinguished actor of our time has turned into a self-loathing slob and left a lot of human wreckage in his wake. —Peter Manso (Author of Brando: The Biography)

More from Burt Reynolds on Brando;

"People used to follow me on the street, thinking I was Marlon Brando. At first, it got on my nerves, and then it just flat pissed me off.

As for Marlon himself, I heard that he had a problem with me. For an episode of The Twilight Zone, I’d once played an annoying method actor who’d been a big hit in A Streetcar Named Desire [like Brando]. And Marlon didn’t like it.

But he was curious about me, according to the actress Rita Moreno — a great broad who worked with me on the TV series B.L. Stryker. While I was still new in Hollywood, she was dating Brando — and she talked me into going to a party at his house.

When I finally met the great man, he was rude. He didn’t even get up from his chair; he just kind of looked away and mumbled something. After about two minutes of small talk, he accused me of trying to capitalise on my resemblance to him.

‘I’ll tell you right now: I’m not having surgery because you don’t like the way I look,’ I said. ‘But I promise not to get fat.’

That ended the conversation, and we never spoke again".

Richard Burton on Marlon Brando:

"Marlon Brando has yet to learn to speak. He should have been born two generations before and acted in silent films."

"He really is a smugly pompous little bastard and is cavalier about everybody except Black Panthers and Indians."

Richard Burton on Geneviève Bujold:

"I'd hate to be her next director or leading man. I think she firmly believes herself to be the legitimate heir to Rachelle or Bernhardt or Duse. She has all the power of a gnat. A dying one. I could whisper louder than her screams."

r87, perhaps Republican Duvall should save his hate for "pro-military" guys who dodged the draft.....

And Frank Langella is a closet queen who will "tell all" about others but not about himself.....

Marlon Brando on Burt Reynolds:

"He's the epitome of everything that's disgusting about the thespian. He worships at the temple of his own narcissism."

Marlon Brando on James Dean:

"Mr. Dean appears to be wearing my last year's wardrobe and my last year's talent."

Marlon Brando on Leonardo DiCaprio:

"He looks like a girl."

Bette Davis: "You should never say bad things about the dead, only good… Joan Crawford is dead. Good.”

"Marlon Brando used to be a big talent, a big star. Now he's just big." - Brian Keith

"Marilyn Monroe was smart for only ten minutes in her entire life. And that was the time it took her to sign with Twentieth Century Fox." - Anne Baxter

"Peter O'Toole looks like he's walking around just to save funeral expenses." - John Huston

"God, it was awful! He can sing, but he can't do much else." - Natalie Wood, on her brief affair with Elvis Presley

"I hated working with that bitch. She was the biggest bitch in the business. Thank God I'll never have to work with her again!" -Tom Bosley on Lucille Ball

The Maureen Stapleton BBB wrap story made the rounds for years. Everyone at the table was toasting Ann-Margret, “I’d like to toast Ann-Margret, the bright new star!” “I’d like to toast Ann-Margret, the star of tomorrow!” Mo, well-liquored by then, had had enough and supposedly said “I’d like to toast myself, the only person here who hasn’t fucked Ann-Margret.”

When Mo was in LA with “The Little Foxes,” she did an interview and they asked her about it. She said “Oh, I would NEVER say something like that! What I actually said was “I’m the only person here who doesn’t want to fuck Ann-Margret.” I certainly wouldn’t imply that everyone there had already fucked her!”

Liz Hubbard to People magazine when asked to comment on Susan Lucci not winning the Daytime Emmy after FIVE nominations:

"Boo. Hoo."

"Diane's voice wasn't as good as mine--everyone said so--and I had the vocal training, she didn't. But she wound up heading the Supremes 'cause her voice was more commercial, whatever that means. Plus, she was sleeping with the boss." - Florence Ballard

She was skinny, Flo.

I'll never understand how some people act like this voice was outstanding. Etta James she was not.

One music critic on a famous person's "return" to music (the album was called Invincible):

"He lives. As in They Live. Doesn't anyone remember this guy sleeps with children?."

[quote]Doesn't anyone remember this guy sleeps with children?.

I'm asking myself that ALL THE TIME lately, with friends making playlists with his music in it, movies aimed at kids with Michael Jackson songs featured, etc.

I really do think that a majority of Americans don't give a shit about anything.

R148, that's what is weird to me. With other celebrities, Americans are quick to dispose of them if they are caught doing something disgusting--think Cosby, R Kelly, etc. And that's appropriate, nobody should be supporting those people. But with Michael Jackson, people just refuse to believe it. I don't get it.

Unnecessary meanness from Kathleen Turner: “ I actually think, after doing Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and then Virginia Woolf, that part of my mission in life is to correct Elizabeth Taylor’s performances.”

Elwy Yost about Shatner's performance in Star Trek The Motion Picture:

[quote]He was so wooden I thought they were going to nail Jesus Christ on him.

R149 He was too good, and people loved him too much, and for too long, to believe it. Even before the molestation allegations, he was forgiven for far more than anyone else would have been. He knew that, and I think that's part of why he continued to get away with it. And money, of course. The fact that's he's dead, and that there will never be indisputable proof of his crimes, and of course that he was already tried and acquitted for it once, makes it safe for many people to keep loving him, or at least the music.

I was a young kid when Thriller dropped. It was the moment that turned me into a serious music lover for life. I certainly didn't want to let him, i.e. an important and formative part of my childhood, go. But I can't hear his music anymore and not think about what he really was.

Fortunately most of his music that I really liked was from the Jackson Five era, when he was presumably too busy being an abused child himself to harm other children. I loved his early solo hits, but he really lost me with almost everything after the Thriller album.

Same here. That kid could sing the hell out of a song. The adult was always annoying to me, with his much thinner voice and hacky yelps.

I always loved this quote by Mrs. Patrick Campbell:

[quote] Watching Tallulah Bankhead on the stage is like watching somebody skating over very thin ice - and the English want to be there when she falls through.

Mrs. Patrick Campbell, in turn, was insulted by George Bernard Shaw:

[quote] If only you could write a true book, entitled "Why, though I was a wonderful actress, no manager or author would ever engage me twice if he could possibly help it", it would be a bestseller. But you couldn't. Besides, you don't know. I do.

[quote]I really do think that a majority of Americans don't give a shit about anything.

Which is exactly how we ended up with our current political situation.

(voice over)What does she think about Jennifer Lopez-Britney Spears?

Q:Is there anyone of them-you think, Well,that´s good!

Streisand: She sure looks good Britney Spears,i mean in those little outfits. I don´t think much about them to tell you the truth.

Barbara Cartland*: We have to get away from that awfull, terrible- this evil really...

Jacki Collins: What?

Barbara Cartland: The the the books that you write quite frankly

The entire William F. Buckley/Gore Vidal feud

Not to mention the Chuck Heston/Gore Vidal feud

I always wonder about the legitimacy of some of these quotes, nobody can remember everything that was said verbatim, but I choose to believe they’re real and can’t get enough of threads like these.

BOOM. 🎤

"I knew Elizabeth Taylor when she didn't know where her next husband was coming from."– Anne Baxter

"Overweight, overbosomed, overpaid, and under talented." – David Susskind, Producer.

"She has an insipid double chin, her legs are too short and she has a slight pot belly." – Richard Burton.

"A Goodyear blimp pumped full of chilli instead of butane gas." – Rex Reed, Film Critic.

"Elizabeth Taylor looks like two small boys fighting under a thick blanket." – Mr. Blackwell, Fashion Critic.

"All my life I wanted to look like Elizabeth Taylor. Now I find Liz Taylor is beginning to look like me." - Divine

Joan Rivers on Liz:

"She has more chins than a Chinese phone book."

"She's the only woman to stand in front of a microwave oven and scream, 'Hurry!'

"Elizabeth Taylor is so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin!"

"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favourite food is seconds."

"Elizabeth Taylor is wearing Orson Welles-designed jeans."

“She has a bumper sticker that says, ‘Save the Whales’ and in small print, ‘for appetizers.’"

“What’s Liz Taylor’s blood type? – Ragú!”

“I took Elizabeth Taylor to McDonald’s and she got stuck in the arch. Edgar had to push. I had to butter her thighs to get her out. I stood in front of her with a Twinkie and said, ‘Come and GET IT."

"She stepped on a scale and it said come back when you're alone."

"When she went to Sea World, she saw Shamu and said, 'Does he come with vegetables?'"

“Mosquitoes see her and scream, ‘Buffet!’

"She pierced her ears and gravy ran out.”

"Liz told me she ate something that disagreed with her – Kansas."

"That's it! I will not do anymore Liz Taylor jokes. No more!!! I'm leaving the poor woman alone!------

I bet you're all saying, 'yeah, right, FAT chance!'"

^^Damn, hilarious but brutal. And to think nowadays, Liz would just be considered thick instead of fat or obese.

Joan said she had regret some of those jokes and that she would've stopped if it was hurting Liz so she had Roddy McDowall call Liz up and asked if she was ok with it, Liz sent a message back saying, "It doesn't get me where I live." From then on Joan professed she was crazy about Liz.

R150, Kathleen Turner is an egotistical cunt. It was vicious and cruel. Kathleen Turner best exemplifies the paraphrase: “At 20, a woman has the face she was born with, at 40 she has the face she deserves.” Her inner self is obscenely ugly and now she has the face it match it.

Much later on Joan also had this to say;

"What happened was, for me, I was talking about myself, but I wanted to talk about other things that the whole culture exploded of celebrity. And all these wonderful people that had absolutely feet of clay. And it was wrong, and it was stupid to worship a fat lady like Elizabeth Taylor when she was fat. Say she’s fat! It’s ok. I was the first one to come out with the Elizabeth Taylor’s fat jokes. If I heard one more person say, “She’s the most beautiful woman in the world,” she’s the most beautiful three women in the world at this point."

[quote] And to think nowadays, Liz would just be considered thick instead of fat or obese.

No, at her worst, she was more than thick.

One Joan Rivers routine I remember from my childhood that had me rolling on the floor was when she dressed up as Taylor, said, "After the filming of [italic]National Velvet[/italic] they say no one knew what to do with the horse. I knew," andpulled out a toothpick to clean between her teeth.

Never forget this!

R169, wow, never knew she got THAT fat. It must have been brutal to hear all those comments when you used to be considered one of the most beautiful women.

LIz told Barbara Walters that she didn't mind being fat, "I eat what I want! " when she was married to John Warner.

Years later, divorced from John, she told Babs that she was lying and that she hated being fat.

Joan's fat jokes didn't help, but at the end of the day, Liz had to lose the weight herself.

More from Joan Rivers:

"Roman Polanski in college. He didn't have a major. He only had minors."

“I think he’s brilliant. What Woody does in his private life is his private life. You want to be a pedophile, be a pedophile. I like . . . what’s her name? Ping-Pong. The wife. She wears yellow too much. Too matchy-matchy.” – On Woody Allen and Soon-Yi

"He makes Hitler look warm and fuzzy." – On Tommy Lee Jones

"The last time a German looked this hot was when they were pushing Jews into the ovens." – On Heidi Klum's 2013 Oscars dress

"If your face was a car it would be Paul Walker's Porsche." – On Howard Stern.

And on Howard Stern's sidekick, Robin Quivers, about her father molesting her when she was a kid, Joan said, "You should be thrilled he paid any attention to you at all. I saw you backstage, bitch. You look like a fuckin' mudslide."

I was young gay man, in 1987, living in an oppressive, homophobic society. I was terrified of AIDS and surely knew it could’ve happened to me. Elizabeth Taylor was there. She brought to gay men, her humanitarian efforts, her kindness, her sympathy and her support. She was and is my still my champion.

Fat champion

But are your a star, r175?

If only Joan had lived to see Chrissy Metz ...

It's tempting to fill the whole thread with just Joan Rivers. She was that damn good!

"You don't need big boobs to be feminine, look at Liberace."

"Boy George is all England needs — another queen who can't dress."

Ellen DeGeneres: “too butch for the red carpet.”

Elton John: "the worst dressed woman”

"Lindsay Lohan said she wouldn't mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor."

"The best one-trick-pony is Kristen Stewart, who got a whole career by being able to juggle a director's balls."

"I can't wait for [Britney Spears'] career to be over so she can serve me coffee at a 7-11. She's such white trash."

Marie Osmond: "She’s so pure, Moses couldn’t even part her knees.”

"I met Adele! What's her song, 'Rolling in the Deep'? She should add 'fried chicken.' "

"If I found Yoko Ono floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog."

"I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian — and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had."

"Mick Jagger could French kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips."

"Taylor Swift's knees have been together more than Melissa and I."

"Madonna is so hairy. When she lifted her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit."

On Princess Diana: "If you ever want to go to Paris, fly; don't take the tunnel."

"The whole Michael Jackson thing was my fault. I told him to date only twenty-eight-year-olds. Who knew he would find 20 of them?"

[quote]Elizabeth Taylor was there. She brought to gay men, her humanitarian efforts, her kindness, her sympathy and her support. She was and is my still my champion.

I recall going to visit men in the AIDS ward at SF General and they had TVs and video equipment on these rolling carts. On the front was a plaque that said something like "With Love from Elizabeth Taylor." She raised the first dollar for AIDS awareness.

Nevertheless, I laughed at the fat jokes.

Richard Harris was a profoundly ignorant bastard from that priest-ridden shithole called Limerick.

Nasty piece of work.

When Joan River's husband committed suicide Elizabeth Taylor sent her flowers, despite all the constant fat jokes. Joan was impressed, had a change of heart and stopped all the fat jokes.

R181 Richard Burton was a drunken sod, full of piss and vinegar, and didn't have a good word to say about anyone. The old bi queen got worse as he went along in life and died at an early age.

Did Burton say anything about Faye?

R15, thank you! I will never look at Hugh Grant the same way again...not that I ever spent much time doing so. I must admit I have a soft spot for Drew. Poor little thing. Seriously, only God himself knows what she went through as a child. Asshole!!!

Lens Dunham dissed Seth MacFarlane, prompting Joan to say: "He's been around for 20 years and you've been around for 2. Eat a salad and get on a treadmill."

Joan Collins on Linda Evans:

"It's quite off putting to have to look at that face."

"Linda arrives at first rehearsal with cosmetic surgery tape over and under her eyelids and underneath her chin. She also has the weirdest collagen enhanced lips I've ever seen. They make her look like a gargoyle when she smiles."

Joan Collins. Super Bitch. I wonder what Ramtha would have to say about this.

R182, I think by the time Edgar died, Liz had dropped the weight.

I think Joan said once she was going to drop the fat jokes. "I called Liz Taylor and said, 'let's make up. Come over for dinner.' Liz asked what she could bring. I said 'how about dessert?' She drove up in a pastry truck."

Liz was well over 200 lbs just before she left John Warner in 1982, but by 1983 she was much thinner.

And here she is in June, 1983, already down a good 50 lbs.

The biggest problems with the weight jokes were that Joan relied on them like a crutch AND kept telling them for years after Liz got thin again. I remember seeing her in a made-for-TV movie called "Poker Alice" when I was a kid, and then a few days later Joan telling a fat Liz joke as she guest hosted on Carson, and I was baffled.

Liz in "Poker Alice:"

Lady Diana Cooper was appearing in a play with a very heavy religious theme called The Miracle at the same time Noel Coward was presenting one of his plays on Broadway. Meeting sometime later she told Coward that she had seen his play and had not laughed once. “Didn’t you darling” he replied, “I saw yours and simply roared”.

Some of those Joan comments are just pointlessly mean, not funny. Although I did like it when she called out Brooke Shields for her hypocrisy after Michael Jackson's death

R194, Joan was pointlessly mean and unfunny. She pointed out people's shortcomings and mocked and ridiculed them for it. Yet, she would get pissed if you turned the tables on her. Essentially she was a Mean Girl bully, which is why she is so beloved on DL.

R195, oh, GROW UP!

I thought Joan was hilarious.

r196, she could dish it out, but she couldn't take it.

R197 Which is exactly why she's a gay icon. Every gay man is able to see themselves in her.

R198, wow, I didn't know the gay community was that self loathing

Joan Collins looks like she combs her head with an egg beater.

Hedda Hopper

I loved Joan. And she was hilarious. But she was a hypocrite. She couldn't take the heat when she was the butt of a joke. Or her dumbass daughter.

For those who proclaim Joan couldn't take it what she gave out, here's Joan Rivers on Joan Rivers:

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"I was so ugly that they sent my picture to Ripley's Believe It or Not and he sent it back and said, "I don't believe it."

“I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery."

"I am at the age — now I have liver spots. My dog tried to eat my hand.”

“When I was born the doctor looked at me and looked at the afterbirth, and handed my mother the afterbirth.”

"I was so flat, I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet."

"Oh, don’t be kind. I mean, I was ugly as a child, I was ugly as a teenager, and I’m a puke now. That’s why my sex life is so bad. My husband says he won’t touch me for religious reasons. He’s Jewish and I’m a pig."

"I have no sex appeal -- if my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had the kid"

"Peeping Toms look at my window and pull down the shade."

"My gynecologist examines me by telephone."

"My vagina is like Newark. Men know it’s there, but they don’t want to visit"

"Everybody talks about multiple orgasms. Multiple orgasms! I’m lucky if both sides of my toaster pop.”

"My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks."

"My best birth control now is to just leave the lights on."

"My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark."

“My mother had said to me, Joan, when you’re 60 years old and you’re going through menopause, yes, your vagina will drop. But it’s a good thing because you can wipe your forehead with it.”

"My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing: 'Pick up, I know you're there.'"

"When I was born, my mother asked the doctor: 'Will she live?'. He said, 'Only if you take your foot off her throat'."

"I said to my husband, “my boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs”. He said, “Blue goes with everything.”

"You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police."

"I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware."

"My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time."

"I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year. My make-up team is nominated for ‘Best Special Effects’."

"The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.”

"Don’t talk to me about Valentine’s Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass."

“I exercise. Well, I don’t EXERCISE, I’m Jewish. If you want me to bend over, you put diamonds on the floor.”

"You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it."

“The only good thing about older dating [...] is there are no one-night stands. Just to get the old guy out of the car, into the house, up the stairs, on you, off of you, re-diapered, back in the car… four days, FOUR DAYS! It’s a relationship!”

“You can’t say orgasm, you can’t say condom, you can’t say breast, you can’t say sex. What are you going to say? I said, hello and goodbye.”

"I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewellery."

“I had some boobs, [but] I have so much rubber in me, they erased what I had.”

"The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I’ve been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.”

"My husband killed himself. And it was my fault. We were making love and I took the bag off my head."

"At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents."

"Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century." – Joan Rivers

She made the standard self-deprecating jokes... but she'd be pissed if someone else made those comments about her

Telling jokes about yourself is one thing and especially if you get money and laughs while doing it.

Having other people tell jokes about YOU is an entirely different thing.

Joan could dish it out, but couldn't take it.

R203, R204, Here's Joan being roasted with much harsher jokes, and guess what? She can take it just fine. You seem bitter and full of it.

They weren’t allowed to joke about Melissa. ^

Yes they were. Watch Tom Arnold's bit regarding Melissa. Here's the full version of the 2009 Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers.

More Boy George -

Prince: "He looks like a dwarf chucked in a bucket of public hair."

Duran Duran: "They remind me of a glass of milk."

Bananarama: "They're so talentless. I only sleep with girls who wash their hair."

Pete Burns: "He's got the battered-housewife look."

The topic should be: "Dead Stars Dissing Dead Stars."

Another favorite: "Why? Because I'm the only one she hasn't done it to?". Sharon Stone on Madonna wanting to kiss her (this was during Madonna's peak, before they were friends).

Gayle King : "When I think of Tiffany lamps, I think of bright color."

Barbra Streisand: "You're thinking of fake Tiffany lamps."

More please

Did you see what Adrian poured on Crawford? The whole thing nothing but bugle beads.Wonderfull.

But on her with THOSE hips it just looks vulgar.