Do most people over estimate their attractiveness?

I think most people know exactly how ugly they are. Not many are superstars.

Exhibit A

At what age? There's a cuteness factor in youth per se that doesn't usually endure or mature well. And plenty of men have the experience of being good looking right through our 30s and then suddenly being invisible by the time we're 45.

THis is why Americans think they are the best looking people in the world when no other country feels the same about Americans.

I look at pics of me when I was in my 20s and am shocked at how handsome I was.

I never realized it at the time. I was too insecure.

Bitch this is Datalounge. Give us baling wire, the right light bulbs, a magic mirror and the ability to ‘stretch’ the truth, and we look and act half our age.

I know exactly how attractive I am - I’m average. But I still like who I am, and try to make others feel good.

It’s not about how you look, it’s how you make people feel.

Some do...just look at Instagram. For many good-looking guys, their beauty is only skin deep. Personality and character add their attractiveness...as does a sense of humor. Their interactions with others can add or detract from their beauty.

I prefer the guy who does not realize how attractive he is...a truly modest man who always gives credit to others. He shuns the limelight, but somehow it falls on him still.

I'm thinking Richard Madden.

I do -- at least I still think I look like I did in my 30s (handsome, fit(ish)) until I see a picture and recoil in horror at what I've become

Exhibit B

[quote] At what age?

We're not talking about age. Just attractiveness in general.

I think that most people look in the mirror and see "wow!"

But when others look at them, they see "meh."

[quote] At what age?

We're not talking about age. Just attractiveness in general.

I think that most people look in the mirror and see "wow!"

But when others look at them, they see "meh."

I thought I’d become invisible in my mid forties but it was my weight more than anything. After I lost 30 pounds my cheekbones and jawline came back and I get noticed again. My skin glows from eating vegetables and drinking water.

All thouse pouting twinks on instagram certainly do

I was great looking when I was younger, yet I went through my teenage years totally believing I was utterly hideous.

There are really only a few truly STUNNING people.

The rest of us are kidding ourselves.

R5 & r15 Same. Plus I didn’t understand how beautiful the glow of youth is.

I think most older men have a picture of themselves on their cutest day and then see the hot man in the mirror beyond the 30 pounds of blubber. We still we think we look good. That's why you see hideous old men chasing after young hot guys. We don't, I mean, they don't even realize how revolting I, I mean, they are. It's pathetic.

Also, We are all as tall as we were on our tallest day. We never shrink. - I'm 5'9' 162 lbs, that's 5/7 and 195 at today's conversion rate.

In my 20's people used to tell me I looked like some hot actor, in my 30's a fuckable actor, In my 50's- Don't tell me, I don't want to know. Today- Ernest Borgnine.

Reminder: Telling someone whose corpse they remind you of is rarely a compliment.

So do, and some don't. Most people don't think about it too much.

I always wondered: Who is the luckiest person- the handsome one who think's they're ugly, or the unattractive one who thinks they're beautiful?

On a similar theme, who is luckier, the gourmet who nuances every bite for some new sensation, or the dedicated trencherman who digs in and enjoys what is generally plated up for him?

Most people absolutely overestimate their own attractiveness. I remember reading an interview years ago with someone who ran a reputable dating agency (pre-internet dating), and she said that was her biggest problem: everyone thought they deserved someone who was objectively out of their league.

I’m 52. I think I’m good looking.

My partner and I are 66 and 60 respectively. He always makes comments that that sales person/waiter etc just made eye contact with him, was flirty and just knew that my partner has a big dick, which he does. However, that big dick is now attached to a 44 inch waist man, with an overly wrinkled face from smoking for 60 years and almost bald. But he loves to think everyone is mesmerized by the big dick. You can definitely see the bulge when he wears his khakis to work. I still love to caress that bulge.

Thanks Oprah at R7

🙄

r23, he's been smoking since he was 6? Damn.

It’s true, r24. Ever meet someone unremarkable-looking and then slowly find yourself captivated? Some people have a personality that transforms them into someone you want to get closer to.

Or maybe it’s just me.

The biggest narcissist I know happens to be overweight, oily skinned and pretty repulsive altogether. I guess she does look a bit like a retarded version of Alyssa Milano if you squint a bit but I'd rate her somewhere between 5 and 6, while she obviously thinks she's 10+. She once told me, and I'm directly quoting her: "Sometimes in the morning I can't stop staring at myself in the mirror because I look so beautiful under the bathroom lights."

The actual good-looking people I know seem to be very well aware of the fact that they're gorgeous but at least they're not cocky about it or anything.

I remember when a certain person tweeted, "Heidi Klum is not a 10 anymore."

Psychology Today from 2015, on studies on perceived attractiveness-

[quote] Women have better insight when it comes to judging attractiveness. They don’t overestimate their own level of attractiveness (like men do), nor do they let their own level of attractiveness bias their ratings of the attractiveness of others.

I used to be stunning (I modeled and did a few commercials in the early 90s).. Strangers would stare, and I was often told that I was intimidatingly beautiful. It all started going downhill in my late 30’s. At 48, I am basically invisible, despite my best efforts to maintain my looks (I’m a female lipstick lesbian). It really is odd. I used to assume that everyone who approached me was hitting on me, and now I assume that no one is (this has backfired more than once with straight men that I’m friendly with that I used to know to avoid). Its like I now need to learn to interact with people in a different way.

I've been told by many people that I'm attractive to the point where they'll say I look like certain celebrities and all of the ones they list are quite attractive even if I can't always see the resemblance. I'm always very flattered, but it takes a lot for me to feel like I look good and, almost every time I leave the house feeling like I look good, someone snaps a picture of me and posts it to social media and I look like a bridge troll.

R30, your comment reminded me of Mary Gaitskill’s novel “Veronica”. I think you might enjoy it.

And I’m sure you’re still beautiful.

I think the younger set definitely overestimates their attractiveness. They are addicted to social media. beauty apps and specialized filters that give them a distorted view of reality.

I have many female friends who ONLY take pictures with Snapchat. It makes their eyes look bigger and their skin artificially smooth. They hate taking photos with a regular phone. My sister, who is vain as the day is long, takes photos only using vivid filters to wash out her features. She also uses apps to make herself appear taller and thinner. You can’t take a photo with her unless you accept it will be a cartoonish version of reality. She also takes charge at parties to take photos in her phone so that when she shares or texts photos, she’s filtered them to a level of artifice beyond what exists in real life. But she’s convinced of her beauty. I shut her up quick when I point out how I look good in the original, unedited shot and she has to use a million tricks to look acceptable in her eyes.

I think "hot" people overestimate their looks while a lot of people underestimate their looks and hide themselves.

Ive always underestimated mine

Once upon a time I was often told that I looked like either Robby Benson or Aidan Quinn. Alas, over the years that's migrated more toward Quinn.

Many very attractive gay men I've known have coasted by on their beauty, feeling fully entitled to use their looks for ulterior motives. Of course that rarely ends well, especially as they grow complacent before finally realizing that they can't coast any longer.

[quote] Most people absolutely overestimate their own attractiveness. I remember reading an interview years ago with someone who ran a reputable dating agency (pre-internet dating), and she said that was her biggest problem: everyone thought they deserved someone who was objectively out of their league.

100%.

These selfie-obsessed INSTA HOES truly believe their own hype.

They're so used to people posting on their stupid Insta pages, "oh, you're so beautiful!" or "damn, you look so hot!!" And they fully buy into the bullshit, when in fact, I think the commenters are just trying to be nice.

Then it translates into self-absorbed, egotistical, unwarranted HUBRIS.

This is why dating is so hard in this day and age. Because people truly do think that everyone else is not as attractive as they are, and that you don't deserve them. Pfftttt!!!!

Fucking delusional cunts.

This is why there are so many single people nowdays.

From the time I was a small child,I was told over and over again how attractive I was . When I hit my teens I never got a zit one or went through an awkward stage ,and the compliments kept pouring in . Of course this made me a vain,superficial idiot in the grand tradition of gay men . All through my life I heard it over and over THEN I hit my 40s and the compliments started slowing to a trickle,and now Im almost 60 they are non existent .Every once in a great while I do still get told Im handsome,but I think thats due more to always being well groomed and wearing nice clothes more than my face. Really attractive people are told from childhood how attractive they are,and the world goes out of its way to reinforce that . ugly people who think they are super hot usually are delusional and lying to themselves . Its a front they put on because deep down,they know the truth.

Rofl R39.

I loved your last two sentences. So true.

Yes, I think most people do over-estimate their attractiveness. Often, when you find out who someone has a crush on, it's obvious the crush-ee is out of their league.

Every so often, you meet a "diamond in the rough" type of person.

Similar to what R21 said, except that anyone who is paying a dating agency probably has unrealistically high expectations.

Many Redditors are like this.

R30 I'm curious, what did you do commercials for? I'm interested in older 80s and 90s commercials.

I've got an old school friend who really fancies himself. He's rather striking. Very tall. Sort of person who has been told by "enough" girls that he's hawt because he's sort of striking, (but not nice looking, in fact)...and he really believes it. He's really rather unattractive. Doesn't know how to wear his clothes. Does weird things with scarves and ties...that sort of thing.

He once told me he was going to America and that he'd make his money being a model and I sort of told him to blow it out and he didn't talk to me for years.

Guess what? No America. No modelling career.

Others maybe...