What Song Should Have Never Been Written?

OP, you're going to have your figs ripped out for this post. No, not even figs - raisins. Ah, liaisons!

Everything that's been misclassified as "R&B" since 1974 on.

R1 I knew I was, but the song makes no sense???

The song makes perfect sense to anyone with a non-concrete brain, experience with musical theater, understanding of common metaphor, and attention to the plot upon which it is based. The character waited too long and now feels like a fool. Cue circus analogies. Duh.

Despite your pleadings, no apology will be enough. If someone declares emphatically and at length, while repeating lyrics, that something "makes no sense," what are the people who know Sondheim's work to do? Defend him? Add an explanation more detailed than what I provided.

PLEASE do not be a woman. Please.

We had a whole thread about this song about 2 weeks ago ☞

I had no idea Carol Burnett was back on TV, how exciting! When and what channel? I hope she left the hanger on Vicki Lawrence off this time.

Yeah because it’s the same idiot from 2 weeks ago.

R4 nope, two men.

Do you not understand metaphors, OP? Did you fail English in grade seven?

R9 I will not be tainted by you freaks. We do not like the song. We are both college educated. It does not fit our tastes. Dumb!

So, stop asking questions.

Jack and Diane by John Cougar

Troglodyte by the Jimmy Castor Bunch

Love Hangover by Miss Ross

any song that would later be sung by this guy

"MacArthur Park"

Theme Song from "Valley Of The Dolls"

"Ben"

The musical score comprising Barbra Streisand's film "Yentl."

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside”

It shouldn’t have been written because I am sick and tired of the stale debate the “media” has about the song being about date rape EVERY. FUCKING. YEAR!

OP,

Baby Shark.

We also had a thread on "MacArthur Park" recently.

Send in the Clowns is a metaphor, dear.

Desiree, who sings the song in "A Little Night Music," is an actress, so the metaphors are drawn from the theater and performing.

Everybody sing.

Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus

That song, that one by Taylor Swift, you know, how does it go, la dee da, la dee day...oh all of them!

Hearing Carol Burnett sing "Send In The Clowns" would make anyone hate the song and be confused by it. Try Judy Collins' sterling version instead.

R23 Well if had to be better than if Vicki Lawrence sang it.

"The Safety Dance" Men Without Hats

That's one of the dumbest!

Through the years many people of found Send In The Clowns to be a bit... enigmatic. Without the context of the show (A Little Night Music) you have no idea that the singer is an actress who tries to rekindle a relationship with a man from her past, only to discover he has a new, much-younger wife that he won't leave. Add to that the fact that the circus metaphor -sending in clowns to distract the crowd from something that has gone wrong -is not widely known by those not in show biz. No less a personage than Barbra Streisand found the song a bit unclear, which is why she got Sondheim to add a bridge section that helped the song stand alone dramatically. The reason the song is built from short, choppy phrases is that the original Desiree was Glynis Johns, who had difficulty sustaining notes, and Sondheim wrote the song specifically for her voice.

It makes perfect sense to the mature, OP. Just not to the teenage narcissist who never grew up.

I Just Called to Say I Loved You

Sussudio

It's surprising how dimwitted people have such a visceral negative reaction to "Send in the Clowns." I'm sure they have similar problems with algebra.

Perhaps they should just concentrate on listening to such great works as "Walking in Memphis" or "Sometimes When We Touch."

Seasons in the Sun, the worst song ever played on the radio

"We skinned our hearts and skinned our knees"

After all of those versions over the years I still like the Glynis Johns version best.

My Sharonna.

What do I win?

It’s a Small World

The F(r)iends theme song

Anything by Barney the dinosaur

The entire repertoires of every boy band ever

I've Never Been to Me. Absolutely ridiculous lyrics.

Nobody Does It Better

R26 thank you! That makes complete sense. I wish I wrote like you.

It’s a pretty song, just needed to understand it.

OP's and his husband's gay cards are hereby PERMANENTLY revoked!

Why did Barbra Streisand sing “Yeti”?

Sugar Shack - Jimmie Gilmore

'Playground in My Mind' - Clint Holmes

'Having My Baby' - Paul Anka

'Timothy' - The Buoys

Every track on Madame X

Sexercise on some Kylie album. I cringed for her.

[quote] Nobody Does It Better

Especially not the godawful song it lost the Best Song Oscar to, the insufferable "You Light Up My Life".

Nobody does it better sucked. And I’m a Carly Simon fan

We Built This City on Rock and Roll

Send in the Clowns make sense in the context of the Bway show for which it was written.

It became a hit outside the show because the tune is nice and the phrase "Send in the Clowns" sounds cool. Otherwise it doesn't make much sense,

Streisand asked Sondheim to change some of the lyrics when she sang it on her Bway album to make sense

None of the Duran Duran songs make sense whatsoever. They just rhyme nicely.

My Heart Will go On, Barbie Girl, Most Rap, Almost all of Maroon 5's songs

Apparently, there are a lot of people in this thread that don’t understand metaphor.

Of course it makes sense OP- perhaps not if you are are 12 or 16. But honestly, I understood the song perfectly well when I was a kid. Now it carries even more weight. I'll leave it to you to figure it out. Streisand changed the ending lyric from "maybe next year" to "maybe their here", not really necessary to understand the song. In either case the song make perfect sense to anyone who can understand to mistakes we make in life.

R48 I think you mean 'people on this thread' WHO don't....

[quote] I'm sure they have similar problems with algebra.

It's a form of terrorism: boring teenagers to death.

R48 dear, one can still understand metaphor and still hate a song.

Achy breaky heart, my heart will go on, send in the godamned clowns, etc

[quote]Nobody Does It Better

I'm not saying this song shouldn't have been written, but why, oh dear Carly, did you write "nobody does it half as [italic]good[/italic] as you" instead of "nobody does it half as [italic]well[/italic] as you"? You didn't even need the rhyme.

Judy Dench's "Send in the Clowns" is also good but Glynis Johns' is the best.

I've been singing "Send in the Clowns" to myself all morning. Thanks, OP. I love it.

The lyrics make complete sense by themselves, but the song was written in the context of a musical drama as well.

R27, granted 'what song should never have been written?' isn't the best title for a thread; OP came here for answers and got some; some were flip, some where informative.

There's no need to talk to him in such a rude fashion.

You don't have to be such a condescending cunt.

Th bigger issue with OP is that he and his partner feel that anything that isn’t to their taste never should have been written. Interesting approach to art, music and literature.

Isn't that how totalitarian movements are born, R59?

[quote]I've Never Been to Me. Absolutely ridiculous lyrics.

You shut your WHORE mouth!

[quote] Th bigger issue with OP is that he and his partner feel that anything that isn’t to their taste never should have been written.

Also, that they don't understand the difference between "it's not to my taste" (fine) and "it doesn't make sense" (because I'm too stupid to understand it).

all good points R62 and R59 (AND R61)

I just think it's not a bad idea to first try to explain it and see if the person is open to change and learning rather than just insulting them as R27 did.

[quote] Through the years many people of found Send In The Clowns to be a bit... enigmatic.

I don't see what's so confusing about it. I'm not a musical theater buff and I've never seen A Little Night Music, but even as a kid hearing the Judy Collins version of the song, I understood the basics—that it's a song about someone wanting to get back together with an ex who, to her surprise, has moved on.

Muskrat Love.

Afternoon Delight

[quote] but why, oh dear Carly, did you write "nobody does it half as good as you" instead of "nobody does it half as well as you"? You didn't even need the rhyme.

r54, don't blame Carly, she didn't write the lyrics, it was Carole Bayer Sager who wrote the lyrics.

Many make a similar critique of much poetry. Some have what it takes naturally to enjoy words in a different way than words with a strait-forward and clear lieral meaning. The ability or capacity can be developed in many. I find younger people generally have trouble with lyrics such as these, and poetry.

An emotion or a memory distilled, and evoked by a word, or a simple turn of a short phrase is sort of a telepathy straight to one's soul. It's a gift to see the beauty and feel the richness of words, though they may not seem to make ordinary sense.

Oopsie daisy ^ straight-forward

Send in the Clowns....to haunt your dreams!

Some silliness at the beginning to throw you off-guard.

"Missing" by Everything But The Girl, for this lyrical abomination: "I miss you like the deserts miss the rain" -- which means you don't miss the person, because a desert, and all the flora and fauna associated with it, would cease to exist if it rained regularly.

Sondheim gets " Denched."

Sugar Walls

R52 so true!

The song is fine within the context of the show, but does seem to be a bit odd outside of that context.

R71 It was catchy. I doubt they looked so literally at the climate or the meteorological aspects before writing it.

I disagree with r73. That song is a jam.

Jam? 'Jam Up and Jelly Tight' by Tommy Roe.

Where will I who are you when will I know ?

Bitches be clownin’!

Except for Achey Breaky Heart, I love most of these songs,

The fact that you can all name them, is all that’s needed for a hit.

I'm really starting to think many of you have never paid attention to the lyrics of these songs.

R81 it’s difficult when you despise the song.