Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

The gay men risking their health for the perfect body

vbSometimes I'm really ok being alone....

"You're too ugly to be gay," a man in a Huddersfield gay bar told Jakeb Arturio Bradea.

It was the latest in a series of comments from men that Jakeb says made him feel worthless. Last summer, following the comments, he tried to kill himself.

Manchester-based charity the LGBT Foundation has warned that body image issues are becoming more widespread in gay communities. It says gay and bisexual men are "much more likely" than heterosexual men to struggle with them.

A number of gay men have told the BBC they are going to extreme lengths to change their bodies - including using steroids and having plastic surgery - just to become "accepted" by others in the LGBT community.

Several said pressure from social media platforms and dating apps was exacerbating their body issues.

"Guys with stunning bodies get the comments and the attention," says Jakeb. "I've not gone on dates because I'm scared of people seeing me in real life. I would honestly have plastic surgery if I could afford it."

Instead of surgery, a few years ago Jakeb turned to anabolic steroids - class C drugs that can be misused to increase muscle mass.

"I got to a certain weight from just working out and going to the gym, but I couldn't get any bigger, and I got into my head that I needed to be bigger," he says.

"My friend said he knew a steroid dealer, so I thought maybe I'll just do a low dose to see what happens."

But anabolic steroids can be addictive. Jakeb soon found himself unable to stop.

"I got to the size I wanted to be, but it didn't feel good enough," he says. "I kept wanting more. It was like there was a harsh voice telling me I'm skinny."

Jakeb had his second near-death experience in November last year when - after several years of heavy steroid use - he suffered heart failure.

"I couldn't breathe, I couldn't sleep, I was days away from dying," he says. "The cardiologist said if I had done one more injection or gone to the gym a few more times I would have dropped dead."

Months later, Jakeb has stopped taking steroids and has lost the extra muscle he gained, but he continues to have health problems for which he is receiving hospital support. "It just hasn't been worth it at all," he says.

And Jakeb is not alone in taking drastic measures to try to appeal to men.

James Brumpton - a software engineer from Lincoln - found himself "catapulted into this world of self-consciousness", after he hooked up with a man at a local gay bar.

When James went back to the man's house and took off his T-shirt, his date looked at him and made a disgusted noise. "Nice arms though," the man added.

ventually, the experience led to James deciding to have an abdominoplasty - otherwise known as a tummy tuck.

"I allowed another man to influence me to a point where I literally had part of me removed," he says.

According to the most recent figures released by the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (Baaps), 179 abdominoplasties were performed on men in 2018 - up 18% on the previous year.

Prof Afshin Mosahebi, of Baaps, says gay men are currently having more cosmetic procedures done than straight men, although he notes that women have more procedures than men overall.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 28February 9, 2020 9:05 PM

Gay men are devils to one another, angels to anyone else.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 1January 30, 2020 1:06 AM

I'm sick of seeing articles like this. The real gay community is nothing like this. A few bitchy muscle queens are not representative of the world's supply of gay men. One of the greatest things about us is the fact that no matter how skinny, fit, or fat you are, somebody wants to fuck you. No matter what is physically wrong with you, there will always be a man who is attracted to that thing.

But reporting on the few bitchy comments paints the entirety of the gay community in a bad light and just serves at a gateway to the rising wave of homophobia against gay men. Fuck off.

by Anonymousreply 2January 30, 2020 1:07 AM

R2, serious question. How many gay friends do you have that you have 0 attraction to?

by Anonymousreply 3January 30, 2020 1:11 AM

R3 Twelve, eight if you're only counting close friends. I don't make a habit of befriending people I want to fuck because bedfellows don't always make good buds, and vice versa.

by Anonymousreply 4January 30, 2020 1:14 AM

R1 is correct. Sometimes our gay brethren behave insensitively and horribly to one another because they want to feel superior to someone.

by Anonymousreply 5January 30, 2020 1:18 AM

Smh

by Anonymousreply 6February 8, 2020 3:21 PM

Those are brutal comments. "You're too ugly to be gay" "You should buy jeans in the maternity section" - "I wouldn't leave the house if I looked like you" - Seriously? These are friends?

I've read other UK-based articles based on race within the gay community where people of color have had ape-noises made at them and someone asked them if they wanted a banana.

Dunno - but I cant imagine these comments being thrown around by friends/acquaintances to your face in the US. And I can't imagine those racist comments being made in a bar to someone's face here. Online? You know it's always open season online anywhere. But to your face?

Not saying that judging doesn't exist and that there isn't racism in the US, but this type of commentary somehow strikes me as uniquely British. Trying to be funny but just being mean, which I've seen and heard from Brits before.

by Anonymousreply 7February 8, 2020 3:46 PM

Oh wow

by Anonymousreply 8February 8, 2020 3:49 PM

There are so many wonderful, positive, non-toxic ways to build self-esteem! Educational and professional accomplishments, helping others, kindness and generosity, developing wit and humor, creating beauty, making yourself or other people happy...

What a pity that none of those positive things will get you laid.

by Anonymousreply 9February 8, 2020 4:03 PM

Bears and daddies attracted to other guys like themselves are the luckiest gays.

by Anonymousreply 10February 8, 2020 4:53 PM

OP hasn't me Korean people in real life yet. None of their babies ever looks like their parents ever!!!

by Anonymousreply 11February 8, 2020 5:00 PM

[quote]"You're too ugly to be gay,"

And you're too stupid to be human.

Life in all its infinite diversity.

by Anonymousreply 12February 8, 2020 5:05 PM

R10, ya think?

by Anonymousreply 13February 8, 2020 5:13 PM

Brit gays are also OBSESSED with dick size - like unhealthily obsessed. It’s really creepy.

by Anonymousreply 14February 8, 2020 5:19 PM

R2 / R4 - you complain that the article puts the gays in a bad light - and then you launch into your own judgmental bullshit, proving the very viscousness you’re trying to deny exists. The “fuck off” placed you at the scene of the crime.

by Anonymousreply 15February 8, 2020 5:23 PM

r14 Brits in general are also extremely and aggressively ageist (not just the gay ones).

by Anonymousreply 16February 8, 2020 5:26 PM

Americans are about ass

by Anonymousreply 17February 8, 2020 5:27 PM

You're right, r17. Look at the ass that was elected as president.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 18February 8, 2020 5:32 PM

Dan Savage is SNOTTY and JUDGEMENTAL. He wrote a book that said- Homely men always thinks people are flirting with them and it's just the service worker being friendly. He said once in a documentary that gay men who are NOT attracted to effeminate gay men are misogynistic.

by Anonymousreply 19February 8, 2020 5:35 PM

[quote]Brits in general are also extremely and aggressively ageist (not just the gay ones).

+

[quote]Brit gays are also OBSESSED with dick size - like unhealthily obsessed. It’s really creepy.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

ARE YOU TOTALLY DELUDED?

I've lived in both the USA and there and this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard from a gay American mouth!

Oh and the sneering at British food, of course, from the land of the preservative.

All this nazi gay body image bullshit comes from Gay America.

and most of the gay bodies admired so much on here are disgusting looking - yet you all praise them so much. Ohmigad he's so hot!

and all that bullshit that gays prefer str8s...such a tragedy! No they don't, they like gay starvation diet 8 days a week at the gym bodies.

by Anonymousreply 20February 8, 2020 5:48 PM

[quote]I'm sick of seeing articles like this. The real gay community is nothing like this. A few bitchy muscle queens are not representative of the world's supply of gay men. One of the greatest things about us is the fact that no matter how skinny, fit, or fat you are, somebody wants to fuck you. No matter what is physically wrong with you, there will always be a man who is attracted to that thing.

More bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 21February 8, 2020 5:50 PM

[quote] The real gay community is nothing like this. A few bitchy muscle queens are not representative of the world's supply of gay men. One of the greatest things about us is the fact that no matter how skinny, fit, or fat you are, somebody wants to fuck you. No matter what is physically wrong with you, there will always be a man who is attracted to that thing.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, my sides !!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 22February 8, 2020 10:09 PM

I dont feel bad for someone his fucking age who is so weak minded that a drunk queen being bitchy would make him want to die. Ive never given a flip what some other bitch thought of me ever ! I guess because I was a flaming queen way back when in a working class neighborhood , so I learned very young to not let words bother me.

by Anonymousreply 23February 8, 2020 10:26 PM

"No matter what is physically wrong with you, there will always be a man who is attracted to that thing."

Unfortunately, the odds are that that man will be unattractive, so YOU won't want to fuck HIM.

by Anonymousreply 24February 9, 2020 3:26 AM

I don't have much sympathy for men trying to achieve what it takes to get laid. And isn't that what's happening here? Are any of them looking for love?

by Anonymousreply 25February 9, 2020 3:31 AM

Oh wow

by Anonymousreply 26February 9, 2020 1:40 PM

True story, I was going out with a guy who told me all the time I looked old (we were both in our mid-30s). We broke up. Then I had to make extra money and got a job working evenings in a supermarket. I literally worked with high school and college kids. My age wasn't known to them, and a couple girls and one guy wanted to date me. They thought I was in my early 20's till I told them differently. So don't pay attention to what some jealous bitchy boyfriend or friend tells you.

by Anonymousreply 27February 9, 2020 8:12 PM

Shallow

by Anonymousreply 28February 9, 2020 9:05 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!