What is the pretentious title of your autobiography?

“A Caftan Named Desire”

Worse Than Hitler

Memoirs From an Elder Hunk

I Said Too Much

It Is I

A heartfelt coming of age and coming out story for our modern times.

I Deigned

Me

Every Gift, Only Gap.

It is what it is

The Happy Architect: Love and Building

Ennui: a Survivor's Journey

You're Fucked! A splendid tale of a gay man's search for the perfect ass.

“Condole Me Not”

[my name]: A Life of Quiet Dignity

Not mine but I thought Martin Short's was pretty funny:

I Must Say: My Life As a Humble Comedy Legend

THE BEAUTIFUL AND THE DAMNED

Icon

Telling You NOW, so I Don’t Have to Tell You THEN

A Mouthful: My Truth

The Horse's Mouth

"The Weight Of Words"

Shifting Through The Sands Of Time

parLAY

Jacked to the Tits

Golden Girl

Presenting: The Hole Me.

BORN VICIOUS!

What's It All About, Alfie

"But Wait, There's More!"

This Will End in Tears

Doodles. Musings from moi.

They Called Me San Juan Capistrano: Swallows Galore

Open-Ended: Come Inside

My Life—Nothing to Sniff At

Yes, It is Big!

We Are Not Amused

I’ve Had Sufficient: I’m a Whore No More

Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows: My Story

Confessions Of A One Night Stand

The Night David Sedaris Kissed Me

Registered Subscriber

My Ass For the World To Kiss.

Verve!

Venom!

Vivacious!

I'm like Shelley Winters, I need at least two, possibly three, volumes to contain my life. Maybe I'll do a Samuel Pepys and write ten.

Almost Perfection

"C'est Moi!"

Let's Have a Kiki!

"The Somnambulist"

"I Loved Me"

Prolapsedy In Blue

"Eat Shit And Die In The Gutter: My Life As A Bitch"

It's Harder For Me

"Lather Rinse, Repeat"

My Lay of Wife

First in Show

A Simple Life Beautifully Told.

My Thing of Beauty Is a Joy Forever

Singular

This Is Why They Hate Me

Meltdown: A Radioactive Life, a graphic novel memoir. I grew up five miles away from Three Mile Island.

"Walk with Me, Talk with Me: Don't Leave Me Here Alone"

“The Simulacrum of Quotidianity”

"If These Balls Could Talk"

The Adventuress

Yes, it is I

"Oh God - What the FUCK have I done with my life?!"

“Misty Water-Colored Memories: The Way I Was”

Vivian Vance.

A B C Dee: The Alpha Bitch Reads Them All

By HRH Dionne Warwick, as told to Damont

Up High on the Down Low

"Ma vie fait de la vie un enfer"

My Weigh

I Won't Bore You With The Truth.

Too Young For An Autobiography

Your Err is Human, My Forgiveness Divine

My Journey of Humility

It Is Tomorrow

Morality? What?

Jesus Wants Me Badly

I’m a Whore; So What?

Nobody Does It Better

I And Tina

Just Ride It Out

Me: My Journey Through Life

Low Life Story

I Tried To Tell You All. My Story Of Sending Truth To The Gay Community.

Squeeze Me

[italic]Ugly in Pink: Confessions of a Giudice Girl[/italic]

The Cheese Stands Alone....

It's Ma'am, Asshole!

A Life Worth Repeating

High Level Interestment

A Fiery Magnolia Growls In Washington

Puke, Curse, Hate

Into the Mild - A life of suburban desperation.

Depravity's Rainbow: The Story of a Troubled Gay

A Memoir

Real Gone With the Wind

Be Gentle, You’re My First

Dear Lord in Heaven

You Can Only Wish You Were Me

Cornbread N Rainbows

Growing up as a gay hillbilly

R96: “I Put the Zest in Zestos”

Occupant.

Is That All There Is?

I Was a Gay Tween Slut

A Hole in One: My Life as Jazz Jennings.

I've Never Been To Me

I Know Why the Cagemeat Sings

How Moist Was My Mussy: Diaries of Kenneth Earl “Momma” Wilkins

"I Can't Get No Satisfaction"

Will There Ever Be an Evening Before?

A Me Grows In Brooklyn

Everything I Know About Life I Learned From Faye Dunaway

Where the Boys Are by Kevin Spavey

Aaarrrrhhh Fuck!

NEVER Just Say “Feed Me”—My Visits With the Queen(s).

It Was Better In The Old Days: My Life in the Datalounge

A Boy and His Frau

Verificatia of Life: The Dream That Died in a Grease Fire

Oh Dear: My Life/My War for English Among the Illiterates

[bold]Fuck Me Harder[/bold]

Mein Camp

"There..I said It.."

It Wasn't My Fault! Fingered at Fourteen

Untucked: A Themoir

I'm Telling You NOW So I Don’t Have To Tell You THEN.

To All The Cocks I've Loved Before, And All The Ones In And Out My Hole.

R120 meet R18

"and the"

[italic]every word she writes is a lie, including “and” and “the.”[/italic]

If You Didn't Know, Now You Know

I Never Ate Corn

The Makings of a Varsity Athlete

Slovenly Trollops I've Known

The Mother Was Right: the Smartest and the Prettiest Boy on the Playground.

My Little Skinny African Wedding

"Empty Stalls"

My American Anus

Vixen: Story of a Ho Man. It would be nothing but a vulgar collection of perverse sexual acts that are sheer and utter filth!

My Life On The A List

Steely Dans - I want a new toy.

The Leather Ran Smooth on the Passenger Seat

Sore

Lost Splendor

Analingus: The Life And Times Of A Gay Man Living In A Straight World.

Call Me By My Name !

"Oh, You!"

Slit

Before the Grease Fire...

Amongst my chandeliers.

You mean... the little people?

Calling Out Stupid

“I said Good Day, Sir”

From Punch And Delete to LOL

The humble story of my outstanding contributions to social media.

"Blonds On Heroin"

DROWNING IN PLEASURE: THE RAGING ORGASM THAT HAS BEEN MY LIFE

Taco Flavored Kisses

My First 2,000 Men

Stuffed- Adventures in eating in black and white

Fat Cat- by a person who couldn’t walk away from the food bowl

At least I tried- sometimes trying isn’t good enough

Fat fuck

My favorite food is pizza: a brave memoir tackling carb addiction

Read this before it’s a miniseries

Burning Bright: My Life As A Supernova

Be Not Nobody~My Curated Life of Sheer Delight

It isn’t easy being pretty.

R147, I love that line in Tootsie.

Bakla Ako. Ikaw?

The Soothing Sounds of 1001 Voices -- In My Head

{italic]I Heard a Cry of Anguish from the Crepe Myrtle Tree: Tales of Southern Neurosis[/italic]

Memoirs of a Gaysian

You think that’s pretentious, r162?

4-H New Jersey Farm Boy, A Fabulous Tragedy

Cunt. The story of ME.

My Many Many Many Naked Pastimes

“All My Comorbidities”

How I Managed So Much Winning

"You Can't Prove It"

“Per My Last E-Mail...”

Red Lobster Reveries and Olive Garden Fever Dreams: My Life as a Fat Whore

A JOCKSTRAP IS ALWAYS WELCOME: My Story

Twaddle

Either "the damned don't cry" OR "It seemed like a good idea at the time"

Hung in the Heartland

At Least I'm not a Jew

A Tell All by Sugar Tits

A Hiss Before Dying

[bold]Triggered!: My Life as a Perpetually Banned Data Lounger

Call Me Muriel: The Unmasking of the Mysterious Webmistress by Andy Cohen

Excuse Me Miss

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

Better. Stronger.Faster.

What’s her problem?

Oh, Shit.

To Corn Starch

I did it MY way!

This has got to be the funniest and cleverest thread on DL - ever. (No, that's *not* the title of my autobiography.)

You Like Me! You Really Like Me! x

ElderBottom, TwinkTops, and Surprise Anal: My Next Chapter

Golden Memories and Showers: Tasting the Bitter and the Yeast

A Bundle of Sticks Memoir of a Faggot

I've revised book title:

DON'T Call Me Muriel: The Unmasking of the Mysterious Webmistress by Andy Cohen

Don't shit in my mouth and tell me it's soft serve.

The Tails of My Existence

Grease Fire Walk with Me

Queen for a Gay

It Had to be Me

Itinerant Hobgoblin

" A Cataclysm in Repose"

Are You There Gays? It's Me, Madge.

La La Land! - And Everything ELSE I've Learned From Faye Dunaway

"I Don't Mean to Hurt Your Feelings, But . . ."

"Splish, Splash, You're Wardrobe Is Trash." - My Years As An Above Ground Pool Boy

Lmao r194.

"With all due respect to all parties involved..."

“You’re All Trash: My Life Among Hoi Polloi”

"Ever Looking And Going Down On You"

How I Got To Be Perfect

Some Manacles for Leibowitz.

Vallis Lacrimarum

I Didn't Call You Fat, I Called You Fatulous......and Other Lies I Told to Unattractive People

Scissoring With Runners: Life As a Locker Room Tramp

"I'm Not Angry. I'm Disappointed"

Mount Me If You Must

There’s Something About Hairy

The Dick Has Its Own Reasons

Scent of a Woman

People Say I Look Straight

I’m Prancercising as Fast as I can

This is It