The worst play or musical you ever saw

Hamilton

Slave Play - pretentious dreck.

Rent. The stupidest thing I've ever seen/sat through. It was torturous.

She’s in the attic!

Honeymoon in Vegas. Beetlejuice in DC was even worse, but apparently was somewhat improved for Broadway.

OP/r4 Miss Zadora was doing the best she could.

It's a tie between two vampire musicals: Tanz der Vampire, and Frank Wildhorn's Dracula. Sorry to say I saw them both in their originals, and they were absolute wastes of time and money. I would rather have another kidney stone than sit through either again.

Something about a street. Boulevard. Something.

I didn't actually see it, but someone told me about it. And the man playing a woman in it. Norman Desmond?

Guys and Dolls at an outdoor ,summer stock theater(not rain or shine capable), Thank god a big thunderstorm came up and ended it 2/3 way through!

Completely bored to death with Sondheim's "Passion".

Whistle down the wind

Hamilton

Corpus Christ - and it’s a one-act, so we couldn’t sneak out!

I was never so glad to leave a theater in my life.

A John Guare play Bosoms and Neglect at the Goodman Theater in the late 70’s. Not memorable. The actor who played the Irish chauffeur on Beacon Hill was the male lead. I saw him on the street a few days later and we both looked miserable!

The current Broadway production of WSS.

Copenhagen by Michael Frayn with Blair Brown uttering the line: "Plutonium!"

Triumph of Love with the endlessly annoying Betty Buckley and Nancy Opal

The Knife, a musical at the Public with Mandy Patinkin as a sex change.

Starlight Express (Act I).

Something no one else ever saw except me, my friend, and the other twelve or fifteen people in the audience. My friend and I have always referred to it as "the Chinese waiter play." It was so, so, so, so bad.

The Nightman Cometh on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia -- oh wait, that was supposed to be terrible but I loved it! If they took that musical on the road, it would sell out every night. If you haven't seen it, watch it. OMG. It's brilliant.

Starlight Express, but Rent is a close second.

A Broadway play called "What's Wrong With This Picture?" written by Donald Margulies and directed by Joe Mantello.

It was some kind of domestic drama which by its own sheer incompetence morphed into an unintentional "incest comedy", and NOT in a good way! It was so painful you really couldn't even groan when the dead wife played by Faith Prince has a seduction scene with her own adult son. The actor's desperation was palpable and the audience was stunned by the awfulness of the proceedings!

The author went on to write a number of other Broadway flops, and Mantello is one of the least talented directors with Broadway credits. Wicked is a terrible show and its success is a fluke. I've seen many terrible plays, but none can equal the hard-to-believe "What's Wrong With This Picture?"

Fame The Musical

Viva Forever in London. Friend and I randomly went to a matinee for fun. Jennifer Saunders wrote it.

R18

Had an experience similar to yours many years ago at an off off Broadway production. When one of the characters uttered the line "I just want to get out of here!" my friend groaned along muttering "I know!"

Thieves starring Marlo Thomas and Professor Irwin Cory.

Bring It On: The Musical. The movie was clever satire, the musical treated the source material as if it wasn't a joke and was meant to be taken seriously. Oh well, guess that's what you get for attracting Lin Manuel Miranda to your doomed project. He might write good dramas but he's awful at comedy.

The Pirate Queen-Ugh! In one scene, Stephine J Block, playing Queenie, gives birth, then has a sword fight holding the baby all the while singing some crap song. Please!

The Blonde in the Thunderbird- Suzanne Sommers bio-musical.

In the Life- WTF was that?

Recently: Almost everything at the Shed and Playwrights Horizons...and anything by that WOKE playwright who wrote those shit shows "Slave Play' and "Daddy".

Twelfth Night with Diane Lane at ART in Boston. She was wonderful but it was the complete version and the theatre had no a/c. Unbearable.

"Copacabana" the musical. I suspected it would suck before I saw it, but free tickets are free tickets.

Regional production of Cats. I thought it was bad because it was regional but apparently it's just all around bad.

Do high school productions count? I went to see my nephew in his hs production of The Crucible; the kid playing John Proctor couldn't remember his lines and the other players, including my nephew, would have to restate his lines as their dialogue. It was excruciating to watch.

I am one of the few people who actually saw Moose Murders. Yes, it was a bad as you have heard.

I have seen a lot of stinkers. I have a friend who will never forgive me for not allowing him to walk out of Suessical (I kept saying it had to get better...). I have only walked out of a few plays. Grind, the musical and a Proust (?) musical on theater row. Unfortunately, I worked on the Maury Yeston musical 1,2,3, 4, 5. If I could have walked out, I would have...every night.

Copenhagen by Michael Frayn. God of Carnage by Yasmina Reza. The Goat by Edward Albee. All three won The Tony Award as Best Play. The Goat was probably the worst piece of shit ever. I thought Albee overdid the metaphor meanings or maybe it was just a play about a guy fucking a goat. Either way, a disaster. I couldn't understand Copenhagen at all, even as the words were coming out of the actors mouths. What were they talking about?? God of Carnage....well, better than the dreadful film which made no sense but still boring as hell.

I don't know if it was always perform this way, but when I saw Copenhagen it was at a theater in the round. Noticed folks on the other side who actually had fallen asleep.

I can commiserate with many here -And disagree with more than a few about their choices. But that's the point, right? I've seen many shows under less-than-optimal circumstances (AC problems, weather, a bad leading actor, etc.) but when calling out the Worst Of All Time you have to separate that stuff out. Some shows are boring to me, but others in the audience enjoy them (and vice versa). In naming the Worst, I left out shows that had something, anything, good about them.

I sat through the fourth performance of Whistle Down the Wind in London and absolutely hated all four hours of it (the set broke mid-show, and the audience were left sitting and eventually singing ALW songs...). Miserable as it was, it had some high points. A lovely leading lady, a couple of good songs, and a decent story that was buried in Production Values, but managed to squeak through nonetheless. I loved Copenhagen, and Passion. Works of art. I had a very strong, personal reaction to Rent (about which I'll post later). When I named Tanz der Vampire and Wildhorn's Dracula it was because in those two I could find absolutely no redeeming elements; artistically and intellectually bankrupt. Their instant and absolute failures on Broadway suggest that I wasn't too far off in my assessment. BTW, I sat through Carrie, Doonesbury, Mack and Mabel, Spider-Man, and more than my fair share of the shows in Not Since Carrie, so I have at least a frame of reference for terrible musicals.

For the record, I'm a bit of a theatre snob, but I have no problem with shows that set out only to provide a fun evening out -if they succeed. Mamma Mia is trash, but it is absolutely fun trash that entertains even when you're laughing at it rather than with it. It is well done, and makes the most of the material. Hell, I even liked Cats in the first of its nine lives in London. When it was new it was fresh, different, and acted with tremendous commitment. Recent productions have cast dancers who can barely sing, let alone act, and are directed like high school dance recitals. The original had spectacle and kept you wondering what would come next. Nowadays you just pray for a power failure so you can go home early...

It wasn’t poorly done at all, but several years ago I saw a high school production of Oklahoma and the actor playing Curly was hung like a horse and was not wearing very supportive undergarments. It was very distracting.

A performance of Macbeth in which a baby ( prop ) being strangled in a cot popped and something flew across the stage.

An out there Fringe production of Dracula In which there was a lot of nudity. Both Van Helsing and Dracula were naked at some point. Van Helsing had a way bigger cock.

I once attended a performance of Samuel Beckett's Endgame done by two middle-aged amateurs in Flyoverstan, during which I checked the time twice in the same minute.

CLOOOOOOOVVVEE!!!

I saw WRONG MOUNTAIN but it didn't come close to being the worst I ever saw. It had its moments and it tried.

ALW's PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is way up at the top of my list, for what it is all on its own and for what it represents about the degradation of Broadway.

WRONG MOUNTAIN was heaven on earth by comparison.

[R36] just reminded me of a truly awful community theatre production of Oklahoma! that had the balls to cast an actual father and daughter as Ali Hakim and Ado Annie! Their love scenes were excruciatingly uncomfortable...

Mostly musicals:

“Billy” - derived from the Melville

“Legs Diamond” - Relentless Peter Allen

“Ari”- based on the novel, “Exodus.”

“Come Summer” - a relic from a bygone era

“I Remember Mama” - Sad boring elegy for Richard Rogers

Those are the first that spring to mind. Others have mercifully not surfaced.... yet.

Wait, I thought of another worst play EVER, I saw!

Jonathan Tolins managed to write a cringeworthy, unintentional INCEST comedy called "If Memory Serves" which was shamefully produced in NYC at the Promenade Theater off-Broadway, and was savaged by reviewers and quickly folded.

The cast included Elizabeth Ashley, Sam Trammell, Marilyn Sokol, and Jeff Whitty, and its absolutely off-the-tracks, misguided horribleness was unequaled. Ashley was a MTM-type of over the hill television actress and Trammell was her son, and her rotten parenting eventually leads to a seduction scene!! It was so embarrassing to sit through!

Resurrection Blues by Arthur Miller at The Old Vic in London.

So bad even half the polite London audience didn't come back after the interval and the applause at the end lasted about ten seconds.

I've seen too many things to pick an absolute worst.

I walked out of national tours of Thoroughly Modern Millie (one of the stupidest plots I've seen), and Evita (non-stop shrieking by the lead; and I kept thinking this would've been even worse with Patti Lupone in it).

I also didn't like Dreamgirls when it was on Broadway in the early '80s, Titanic (also Broadway - I liked the first 20 minutes, but it went downhill from there), The Wizard of Oz with Mickey Rooney (who seemed to be suffering with a major league hangover) and Eartha Kitt (who camped it way too much as the Wicked Witch), and The Glass Menagerie (with the godawful Zachary Quinto).

More recently, I hated the supposedly new-and-improved Oklahoma, and I couldn't stand The Rose Tattoo.

At the Paper Mill Playhouse, I walked out of Bandstand and Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. (I wasn't crazy about Newsies either, but I stayed for all of that.)

Gilligan's Island: The Musical.

Starring Lee Meriwether as Mrs. Lovey Howell

Surprisingly, I found an online review of the run when I saw it:

Making Porn, off-Broadway. The lead was out and the understudy, playing a porn actor who is massively endowed, seemed to have a micro-penis.

My husband talked me into The Herbal Bed, a play about Shakespeare's daughter Susannah. It was long and tedious, though he liked it.

“Working” — basically a couple of hours of people bitching about their jobs. I can get that at my office.

R35, I actually like Tanz der Vampire. I think one has to understand and appreciate the tone. Whether you agree or not, one cannot compare it to the Broadway production. There were so many changes as to make it an entirely different musical. Also, the fact that it has been playing constantly for 23 years kinda undermines the notion that it can be *the worst*. It may not be your thing, but clearly a lot of people disagree.

You do make a good point that even bad plays or musicals often have something redeeming. Ain't Broadway Grand sucked, but the transformation of the pretentious "art" play into a low-brow popular play without changing a word of dialog was a hoot. The Red Shoes had some great choreography.

R42, Elizabeth Ashley and Marilyn Sokol in the same play??? Was there any scenery left un-chewed??

"I'm Getting My Act Together and Taking It on the Road." Excruciating '70s feminist dreck.

Brilliantly parodied by Andrea Martin on SCTV as "I'm Taking My Own Head, Screwing It On Right, and No Guy's Gonna Tell Me it Ain't."

Glenda Jackson in King Lear. Christ, just a headache.

Michael Feinstein and Dame Edna in some dreadful hybrid of comedy and singing and vaudeville...disastrous.

There have been others that I didn’t enjoy, but far fewer than the fantastic experiences, but that stands out as a single night of “who the fuck told these two men that this was entertaining?”

Hamilton is probably second if only because the hype made it seem transcendent, while the finished product was serviceable, occasionally catchy but overall “meh”.

Rock of Ages was kind of lame story-wise. No nuance.

May get skewered for this, but I could barely sit through “Wicked.” Still plays to full houses, but I thought it was a mess.

Wicked IS a mess--nothing but a stew of issues with some good songs in the mix

"He might write good dramas"

Now THAT'S comedy!

But that show was just mediocre. For true unadulterated badness you have to turn to...(drum roll, please)

The Human Comedy and Bring Back Birdie.

R55 - re Wicked: I completely forgot about that.

I didn't like that one either!

During the first act of Aspects of Love, I was contemplating where I wanted to get a pastrami sandwich after the show. During the second act, I was wondering if I could hit the actors with a thrown baseball from my seat in the front mezzanine.

I wonder if anyone else saw the Steppenwolf Garage production of Hedda Gabler with robots...? It may be the clear winner.

What was that puppet play where the puppets all sang dirty songs? I saw it by a local gay theater troupe. The building was a converted garage with big floor fans blowing hot air around. In the middle, a torrential thunderstorm started banging on the roof (which must have been made of tin) so you couldn't hear anything anyway.

Mother fucking Cats!

I haven't really had a bad theater experience, to be honest. Not one I can remember, not one that was so awful that I wanted to run as if I was on fire from the building.

Mamma Mia was hardly Sondheim, but I did enjoy the music, if not the story. That's the closest, I'd say, to the worst. But I always give Mamma Mia a bit of a pass, because it was basically manufactured so that people could see ABBA songs performed live.

There's a few shows that I thought could have been trimmed a bit. I saw Having Our Say and it started to repeat itself a wee bit in the last 15 minutes. But otherwise, a great show.

[quote] "I'm Getting My Act Together and Taking It on the Road."

Written by Jon Cryer's mother, of all people!

Dr. Zhivago. My husband and I were in NYC and they were literally giving out tickets in times square. We left during the intermission....it was DREADFUL! We later learned it was one of the shortest running musicals on Broadway didn't even run for. a month.

Aida, the musical.

3 by Sondheim:

Pacific Overtures at the Winter Garden, the original run, with a go-go finale, as I recall, boasting of Japan's GNP or something like that.

Into the Woods with those awful songs: Children Will Listen and No One Is Alone and Bernie rapping about beans. Children Will NOT Listen and We Are ALL Alone.

Passion with Donna Murphy making like Ruth Buzzi as Glady Ormsby and Shakundala too, but I did get to see Jere Shea's very hairy ass and chest. Hubba hubba!!

Olympia Dukakis in Hecuba for ACT, middle 90s.

all robes and weird sculptures and wailing.

thank the gods we had the U.S. premiere of Angels in America that year to make up for it!

[R41] here: Forgot to mention the sci-fi “Via Galactica,” probably the very worst musical I’ve ever seen. Set consisted of trampolines in the stage floor, presumably to indicate alien weightlessness. Music was boring. At the end, during the curtain calls, those of the audience that were left were actually balling up their Playbills and throwing them at the cast.

Production I wish I had seen: an off-broadway play called Angelo's Wedding written by Julie Bovasso. The third night of previews, Bovasso, drunk, was watching from the third row in the audience. She didn't care for lead Scott Glenn's performance so she started shouting obscenities at him before climbing onto the stage and physically assaulting him.

He quit the next day. The show ended.

If the absolute worst show you ever saw won Tony awards for best musical or book or score, forgive me if I think the problem is your taste rather than the show. If Hamilton is truly the worst thing you have ever seen, you have either seen very little or you have some other issues.

In the late 80’s I got to see Carrie at RSC. I went with my brother & parents. God my parents hated it but we kids liked it. The same trip , in London, we saw starliight express. It was awful. Another was Shogun the Musical. It was bad. Very bad. The lowest was Jekyll & Hyde - the purest definition of mediocre

Play: I knew marian seldes & she would give me tickets to her performances. This story is regarding The Play About The Baby (Albee). It was awful. Anyway my buddy who went with me was diabetic & happily! had a low sugar moment which made it pissible to leave between acts. The next day I called Marian to thank her & to explain why we didn’t visit her backstage. Told her how we liked it & what a shame to miss the end... and she promised me two tickets for that night!! I had to go again!! It was painful (& there was frontal nudity which makes everything better but bot this play)

R51 Huge SCTV stan here. I *never* knew that was based on something real. Fascinating! Thank you!

Taboo!, the Broadway musical about the life of Leigh Bowery starring Boy George and directed by Rosie O'Donnell.

I had been a huge fan of Bowery since I was a teenager. I knew his whole story well.

I'd never really liked Broadway shows and never fully understood many of my gay friends' intense love of all things Broadway.

Taboo! sealed it for me.

I thought, "It will probably be very interesting, at least." And went with enthusiasm. I was stunned. Like something from the mind of a moron child brought to full life on stage. How... on earth? So disrespectful to Bowery's insane, innovative genius... to turn it into something so exactly the opposite of that, proudly, and clearly unaware. I was speechless as I left the theater, depressed for days.

Grease.

R74, Taboo was a classic example of Americans fucking up a European musical. The same thing happened to Taboo as happened to Rocky Horror show. Both were originally designed to be be done in seedy "found" spaces. The LA production of Rocky Horror at least had an small space. Both shows were ruined by being put in a huge Broadway house. Much like Tanz der Vampire and Priscilla Queen of the Desert, the book to Taboo was rewritten by Americans who thought they knew better. Interesting both Taboo and Priscilla had producers that were entertainers know for their raunchy acts, but, as producers, toned down the sex in both shows.

I was fortunate enough to see the LAOpera’s dreadful Lohengrinl. The sort of disaster one waits years to avoid.

A revival of Blithe Spirit. I saw it with my mom in 1987 because she had a crush on Richard Chamberlain. Even though I was only a child, I could recognize a bomb. What were supposed to be hilarious lines barely elicited a chuckle from the audience. It was very awkward. Even Geraldine Page couldn’t save it. She died a few months later during the run of the play, I always say that the embarrassment of appearing in that turkey helped killed her.

It's not really fair to judge Taboo by the godawful Broadway production. Not the performers' fault though. I don't know why Rosie had no faith in the show she saw and loved in London. But she clearly didn't. It was given an entirely new and different book. The lead character was completely gone, and his songs given away. The original, charming physical production was replaced by a proscenium that distanced the audience from the characters. On Broadway, the show literally made no sense at all! I saw the show reluctantly in London -Not a fan of Boy George or any of that scene. But I left the theatre a huge fan of the piece, with new respect for George. I was so excited when it came to Broadway -And then was horrified at what had been done to the show. If Rosie had had the sense to bring the show over, intact, and put it off-Broadway where it belonged, it might still be running.

Prymate, though it was kinda worth it to see Victoria Newman from The Young & The Restless masturbate a gorilla played by Andre deShields.

R79 But if she'd just done a straight transfer she couldn't claim to have any kind of creative involvement. Wouldn't be the first producer to put their ego ahead of what's best for the show.

R81, please see R76

Sweeney Todd

R74. R79. Both versions of Taboo were flawed. I liked the Visage stuff in London but hated the straight love story. On bway I liked the perfect reproductions of the Bowery fashions but the book was less rock & roll. Anyway liked the songs. They work better in a smaller place ( London) Maybe off broadway here?

Les Miserables but I walked out to save my ears and soul.

I remember an awful David Rabe play I saw at the McCarter theater in Princeton in 1991: "Those the River Keeps." It was one of the most pretentious things I've ever seen in my life, and I left after Act I.

My Fair Lady at Lincoln Center. It was so bad.

That revival of The Glass Menagerie with Sally Field a few years ago was pretty bad. I'd never seen so many talented actors trying to work against an awful directorial concept to make something work. You just felt bad for them because Field, Mantello, and Wittrock were all incredibly good and would have all been brilliant in a smarter production of the show. The girl who played Laura was in a wheelchair and it would take her a long time to get out and roll around the stage to hit her next mark and it felt endless. On top of that, she was a terrible actress and you could never understand what the fuck she was saying.

Just after Star Trek was cancelled, William Shatner did summer stock. I saw him in some spy thriller. There was a science fictioney rear-projection screen built into his bachelor pad that talked to him. It was 130 degrees, he was wasted and couldn’t remember his lines. He would just go silent and close his eyes. Pre-internet, it was painful to see someone that famous just disintegrate onstage. At one point the film that was projected (too early for video) stopped and fried on the reel. He just walked off. There was no curtain call.

Hands down, Dance of the Vampires.

I saw Chess, and the audience hated it. Like, the whole audience. They would take longer and longer to start clapping after the end of each song. Very uncomfortable.

I forgot about the Dame Edna/Michael Feinstein debacle. That WAS a nightmare.

R64, that was with Tam Mutu as the Doctor, right? He was actually one of the good things in Chess. Did you like him in the role of Zhivago?

Aspects of Love. Barf. Left at intermission.

Light in the Piazza. Snoozer.

Chess is another example of a show ruined in transfer from the West End to Broadway.

I saw Long Day's Journey Into Night, and my God what a torturous four hours! I know that it is a classic and the greatest play of the 20th century and how often do you get to see Vanessa Redgrave, Brian Dennehy, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Robert Sean Leonard together on one stage? I thought I was going to go out of my mind with the misery and claustrophobic atmosphere. I stepped out to get some fresh air during intermission and almost mooched a cigarette from a guy standing there (I think it was Michael Musto)--anything to break up the monotony.

The Broadway version of Festen, based on the movie. It starred Ally McGraw and she was horrendous, as was the play.

A close second was a dance shows based on the songs of Burt Bacharach (can't remember what it was called)-- a complete bore

[quote] Prymate, though it was kinda worth it to see Victoria Newman from The Young & The Restless masturbate a gorilla played by Andre deShields.

Prymate was so stupid that it was fun

Thou Shall Not, a musical with music by Harry Connick, Jr, on Bway

It was the only time I ever saw an audience get up and leave without anyone clapping.

This David Henry Hwang play that closed in previews because it was so bad. I don't even remember the title. I think I tried to block it out.

A Bands Visit - on Broadway Nov 2018. Horrendous. Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 on Broadway Fall 2017. Beyond horrendous.

The musical version of Tales of the City at ACT in San Francisco, which just laid there like a dead dog. The premiere of Head Over Heels (the Go-Gos musical) at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival (as a friend of mine said, Was there no adult in charge?!). OSF also did the worst new play I've ever seen, The Way the Mountain Moved, which was something about the opening of the US West (I think...). I felt bad for the actors who knew they were in a turkey and still had weeks of a repertory season to go. I walked out of a terribly acted production of Romeo and Juliet in London, but that was OK since I knew how it ended.

R91, I'd blocked "Chess" out of my mind. Everything was just SO. DAMN. LOUD. And repetitive. You know you're in deep trouble when "One Night in Bangkok" is the BEST song in your show.

You know you're in trouble when you think "One Night in Bangkok" is the best song in Chess....

I like Mercedes Ruehl, but I have to say "Lost in Yonkers" .

It was like being in jail with no hope for bond.

R 102 - Mamma Mia and The Cher Show are probably more to your liking.

R107 - meant to be razor-tongued no doubt. Well, yes, I did like Mamma Mia - The Cher Show was meh. I enjoy theater that does not put me to sleep or leave me with a raging headache. Not too much to ask for $200-$300 worth of entertainment. I loved Hadestown - I thought it was brilliant.

One of the only plays I've ever walked out on: SWEET BIRD OF YOUTH with Lauren Bacall. Turgid, misguided, and unbelievably boring.

A musical I wish I had walked out on: NATASHA, PIERRE & THE GREAT COMET OF 1812. I saw it in previews and it was like being screamed at for 2 hours: [italic]"Are you having fun yet?!?!?"[/italic] Loud, obnoxious, frenetic, and hollow. After all that, the "great comet" turned out to be nothing but a fucking light bulb.

"Lauren Bacall. Turgid, misguided, and unbelievably boring."

Yes, she was, and a cunt.

Pia Zadora in "Funny Girl" and, no, I'm not kidding. In Long Beach (talk about "off Broadway"). Wish I had bought a t-shirt.

I lived in London in the 1990s. I am a nurse, and West End shows that are not performing well often allocate free tickets to NHS staff. I saw a few real stinkers. The worst was The Patsy Cline Story, narrated by George Hamilton IV. It began with a sound effect of a plane crash, and went downhill from there.

R89 Just... wow. What was this called do you remember?

R113, I believe he is referring to the Rupert Holmes play Solitary Confinement.

Titanic and Will Rodger's Follies were both walkouts at Intermission. Jekyll and Hyde may be the worst I've ever seen. 3rd rate Lloyd Webberesque and 10th rate Sweeney Todd.

Titanic was horrendous. The color-blind casting on Broadway made it especially atrocious although that could be said of many other productions today, but in the case of Titanic it was particularly distracting. By the time the ship "sank" I was screaming, Die already!

[quote]The color-blind casting on Broadway made it especially atrocious.

Black Irish?

The racists who bitch about color blind casting are so funny. These are the same people who wouldn't complain about a 50-year-old actor playing a person who died at 30, or an American who can't do accents playing a Brit, or a gorgeous actor playing someone who was hideous in real life....

I’ve complained about all those things.

When I was a kid my parents took my brother and I to see a touring production of The Wiz. It was god awful. No production values to speak of, almost a bare stage production. The music sucked and the actors all sucked.

Around the same time our parents took us to New York to see opera. On one night off, they took us to see Titanic. Even for two kids from the boonies, this show sucked big cock. After seeing opera at the Met and then seeing this awful show, my brother and I knew this was awful stuff. I am glad that I was not the only one here posting about Titanic. My brother and I were around 10 and 8 at the time, and the show we wanted to see was one posted at the tkts booth in Times Square. Vampire Lesbians of Sodom. We laughed like naughty little kids at the name. I don't remember if either of us knew what lesbians were, but we knew vampires and Sodom. I think it was an off off broadway production, but our parents said no, a big NO to that choice.

Adele Dazeem in "If/Then," a failed musical that had a test run in SF, where I saw it. It somehow made it to Broadway for about a week before it died a merciful death.

She played a - get this - urban planner. Now who doesn't want to see a musical about an urban planner?

Everyone.

I grew up in NJ, my mom still lives there, and m parents took me to see exactly one play on Broadway. Which one did I pick? Titanic

Cats. On Broadway.

* my

Some of you queens had to have seen this.

I was hosting Thanksgiving one year and my partner was out of town for work and he is the cook in the relationship. So I was totally in over my head, stressed, and generally missing my man terribly. There there were a bunch of kids running around and so I put on the Macy's Parade for them to sort of hypnotize them for a few minutes. And one of the floats was the Shrek--The Musical! float, with dozens of fugly, ridiulous live-action Shrek, dancing and singing around the float to some awful show tune. And, of course, I stared at the screen for a moment, and then burst into tears. One of the children asked what was wrong. All I could muster was "It's--it's--it's just....SO BAD!!!!" and I ran up to my bedroom to regroup.

Rent

R123 I second you

Quentin Tarantino on Broadway, "Wait Until Dark". My bf had a thing for Marissa Tomei. Unfortunately for the Sunday matinee Ms. Tomei was "unable" to perform. The understudy, I have absolutely no recollection of her performance.

Phantom of the Opera.

Saw it in previews in Palm Desert, the most horrible musical I'd ever seen. Linda Eder did a plaintive song and then was bloody murdered by the fiend on a bed with white sheets to emphasize the blood . When it went to Broadway and people went to see it again and again, I thought we are through as a nation. And then Donald Trump. Connection, yes I think so.

Not the absolute worst but very much a portent of terrible things to come. Liza in "The Act". Boring, pointless with everything centering around Liza doing her nightclub act. It was somewhat of a jukebox musical with lousy songs by Kander and Ebb, Liza lip-synched through almost all the musical numbers and it set the record for the top ticket price at the time.

I knew reading through these someone was sure to mention THE BANDS VISIT. Indeed. Saw the show recently upon a date getting tickets. I was skeptical but open minded. Big Tony winner but I hadn't heard of it. So slow moving. So utterly boring. I was wondering how anyone in the audience could possibly be interested in what was happening on the stage. Just dreadful.

[QUOTE]It somehow made it to Broadway for about a week before it died a merciful death

It ran for a year

The Broadway production of Titanic did not feature color-blind casting, the show is *The* Band’s Visit, Linda Eder was in Jekyll/Hyde and not Phantom, and If/Then went to SF after the Broadway run (which was just short of a year, not a week).. You bitches need to get the basic facts right, or your opinion is shit.

Worst I've seen on Broadway: Frank Wildhorn's Dracula: The Musical. I think it was 2004. At the time that I saw it, they had already announced that it was closing. The theater was only about half full. Even though it was terrible (particularly the music), I do have to admit that I found parts of it fascinating. Those actors were troopers. And some of the stagecraft, such as the flying vampires, was beautiful.

I've seen many local theater productions that were awful, boring, poorly written or acted ... but in most cases, I expected them to be bad, so they weren't all that memorable. But one production stands out as memorable. It was called "The Five People You Meet in Porn."

It was at a fringe festival, and this show was put together locally -- written and cast by a local company of writers and performers, including a few people I knew. The playwright wanted to put together all the elements that made a fringe show successful -- sex, comedy, nudity, provocative content. But he is not the greatest writer -- his whole things is pop culture references and lame jokes, and nobody has been able to tell him that his writing sucks and he should stop. The show was so bad that it couldn't find any attractive or talented people to act in it, so it attracted the local band of theater wannabes who, just the chance to be on stage, agreed to be naked and simulate sex acts onstage. There is nothing good to be said about watching fat, old, out of shape actors wearing leather while faking orgasms.

The show did succeed in selling a lot of tickets; I think it was sold out for almost every show, mostly because people were curious. But once it started, everyone was just embarrassed for a full hour. It was the kind of show that you just wanted to hide your face as you walked out of the theater.

If I say Cats can I tell the story again about realizing once the lights went down that Greta Garbo was seated next to me?

[quote] Around the same time our parents took us to New York to see opera. On one night off, they took us to see Titanic. Even for two kids from the boonies, this show sucked big cock. After seeing opera at the Met and then seeing this awful show, my brother and I knew this was awful stuff. I am glad that I was not the only one here posting about Titanic. My brother and I were around 10 and 8 at the time, and the show we wanted to see was one posted at the tkts booth in Times Square. Vampire Lesbians of Sodom. We laughed like naughty little kids at the name. I don't remember if either of us knew what lesbians were, but we knew vampires and Sodom. I think it was an off off broadway production, but our parents said no, a big NO to that choice.

That's a delightful story- except Vampire Lesbians of Sodom had been closed for about 7 years by the time Titanic opened.

[quote] The Broadway production of Titanic did not feature color-blind casting, the show is *The* Band’s Visit, Linda Eder was in Jekyll/Hyde and not Phantom, and If/Then went to SF after the Broadway run (which was just short of a year, not a week).. You bitches need to get the basic facts right, or your opinion is shit.

Goddamn, fucking A right. I've yelled out LIIIIIIIEEES so many times reading this thread, I feel like Kathy Bates in AHS:Coven.

[quote]This David Henry Hwang play that closed in previews because it was so bad. I don't even remember the title. I think I tried to block it out.

The show was called "About Face".

[quote]The Broadway production of Titanic did not feature color-blind casting

I saw it twice, and it most certainly DID have African American actors playing First Class passengers in 1912. It was RIDICULOUS as is almost all "color-blind" (uhm, we can see it!) casting, INCLUDING Audra McDonald in "Carousel" in 1994. They usually pull this bit of SJW activity on plays where the playwright is dead, or they would never allow it. It's so distracting and does NOT serve the play's intention, it's just a politically correct Actor's Equity jobs program. Why don't they do it in films if it's such a great idea?

I'm wondering if anyone here saw Lauren Bacall in a national tour of "Wonderful Town"! This was in the mid-70s AFTER her years in "Applause" believe it or not! Just two young sisters (in their late 40s!) starting out in life in Greenwich Village, New York! Swing!

[quote] This David Henry Hwang play that closed in previews because it was so bad. I don't even remember the title. I think I tried to block it out.

[quote] The show was called "About Face".

No it wasn't, you stupid twat. It was called Face Value. Hwang rewrote and restructured it and brought it out later in the decade as Yellow Face.

There were four black passengers on the actual Titanic. None of the leads on Broadway were black, which must have quite been a relief to you FNF. Having one or two people of color in the chorus has been common since the 1970s.

So sorry that you had to suffer the indignity of seeing Audra (Ann) McDonald in the first of her (record) six Tony wins. Yeah, what a terrible idea it was to cast her.

[quote] There were four black passengers on the actual Titanic. None of the leads on Broadway were black, which must have quite been a relief to you FNF. Having one or two people of color in the chorus has been common since the 1970s. So sorry that you had to suffer the indignity of seeing Audra (Ann) McDonald in the first of her (record) six Tony wins. Yeah, what a terrible idea it was to cast her.

What in the fuck are you talking about? Audra had nothing to do with Titanic.

I second Rent. I was clueless. Over miked silly retelling of La Boheme without any of pathos in the music. Just awful although the audience loved it when I went. A lousy mix Hair and Chorus Line which really were original fine shoes.

See r138 for why Audra was mentioned. FNF sees black people in white shows and feels terror.

Also, because I’m that just OCD, I checked the Broadway cast list for Titanic. There was black woman in the entire cast, including replacements and understudies.

[quote] Why don't they do it in films if it's such a great idea?

I’m guessing you haven’t seen any recent BBC-produced period piece.

[quote]No it wasn't, you stupid twat. It was called Face Value.

Oh, that's right, thanks for the correction...Cunt.

YOU SAID that there was "NO colorblind casting in the Broadway production of Titanic", and YET THERE WAS, your silly new argument notwithstanding! Were the four actual black passengers First Class passengers? No, they were not. It was not a "color blind" integrated manifest! Deal with it, Lady!

I'm sorry you're just now discovering that many people don't agree with this silly notion of casting. It clearly agitates you to the point where you reveal what a vile name-calling ideologue you are! Why is civility beyond your grasp?

The worst show ever was a local production of a jukebox "musical" based on the songs of Woody Guthrie titled "This Land is Your Land." Within 20 minutes I was praying that the next song would be This Land is Your Land because I knew it would be the big finale. My sister and I sat there and decided what to get at the restaurant we were going to go to (with friends in the show) after it mercifully ended.

The worst professional show was "Billy Elliot." Sweet God it was horrible. I loved the movie so much but, wow. Also, I hated the recording of "Cats" and would never consider stepping foot in a production of it.

[quote] Oh, that's right, thanks for the correction...Cunt.

[quote] YOU SAID that there was "NO colorblind casting in the Broadway production of Titanic", and YET THERE WAS, your silly new argument notwithstanding! Were the four actual black passengers First Class passengers? No, they were not. It was not a "color blind" integrated manifest! Deal with it, Lady!

[quote] I'm sorry you're just now discovering that many people don't agree with this silly notion of casting. It clearly agitates you to the point where you reveal what a vile name-calling ideologue you are! Why is civility beyond your grasp?

I'm the person who called you a stupid twat. However, I had nothing to do with any mention of color blind casting.

I stand by my assessment.

[quote]See [R138] for why Audra was mentioned. FNF sees black people in white shows and feels terror.

Your breathless hyperbole makes you look ridiculous.

Turn of the century Maine wasn't an integrated society, so it doesn't serve the text. You are an ideologue who thinks casting is a tool not so much to serve the play, but to please a segment of society looking to create jobs for a segment of actors. Cool, I disagree, but I suspect you are now ENRAGED and will continue your offense.

American Psycho: The Musical

If color blind casting, years after the LCT Carousel, means doublecasting a light-skinned African American women as a French cabaret singer in first class and a third class passenger, then I guess I am that cunt. It’s truly astonishjng that you picked out the the one person of color in that sea of white actors and took offense. And remember it decades later. And accuse others of breathless hyperbole and political agendas.

[QUOTE]Why is civility beyond your grasp?

Says the racist

R149 I have to agree on American Psycho. Closely followed by Thoroughly Modern Millie and The Little Mermaid. (And this from someone who saw Copperfield, Bring Back Birdie, Golden Rainbow, and many more too painful to mention.)

No one's mentioned The Book of Mormon. Saw it at a benefit and sat next to a very handsome Mormon Daddy who was experiencing gales of laughter at seeing himself on stage. I was hoping he'd follow me into the mezz john during the interval for a flash and wank.

"Sister" Brantley of the TIMES proclaimed it the musical of the new millennium. That awful music and the naughty gay subtext. Pure agony.

R126, I'll always remember that as the musical with the song about farting that signaled the death of the American musical theatre. I had actor friends who were in a production of that once and they'd always post backstage pics and videos about it like they were in a show about curing cancer. It's not A Streetcar Named Desire. Calm down.

[quote]It’s truly astonishjng that you picked out the the one person of color in that sea of white actors and took offense.

Lady Hyperbolia! You sound easily astonished! I NEVER "took offense"! I refuted the poster who claimed there was no color blind casting in the production as I recalled from my memory a black actress playing one of the first-class passengers and I remember finding it dopey! You certainly have an active imagination. Lordy!

Wow you guys really remember Titanic! The only thing I remember about the casting was that Steve from Married with Children was in it. I saw it in 1997, I think, and these days I'm having trouble remembering what I had for breakfast.

"The Broadway production of Titanic did not feature color-blind casting,"

Bullshit. I was there. I know what I saw. You don't scare me you pathetic Broadway queen.

The Laroche family, a Haitian engineer with his wife and children, sailed second class on Titanic. They had booked first class on another ship, but had to move down to second on Titanic due to the higher price scale of the new ship. In the musical, the chorus plays first, second, and third class characters. Only the leads do not play multiple roles. The inclusion of one African-American actress in the chorus of the show is hardly "colorblind casting" -Nor is it "dopey" or "unrealistic.' The ship carried people of many nationalities and ethnicities. What would have been "dopey" would be to have an all-white cast representing all those people.

I loved Titanic on Broadway -It was emotionally engaging, beautifully sung, and had a memorable score. Still, it was more a staged cantata than a traditional musical, so I can understand how some came away feeling confused by what they had seen: no tap dancing, more chorus numbers than solos, etc. Certainly not to everyone's taste, but it won the major awards and ran for two years on Broadway. It can't have been the worst show ever -Too many people liked it. ;)

[quote]The inclusion of one African-American actress in the chorus of the show is hardly "colorblind casting" -Nor is it "dopey" or "unrealistic.'

Ok, Broadway Mary (and likely Berner)!

Where do I start...

I fell asleep during a Neil LaBute monologue play and I normally like LaBute. The worst part was that I suddenly jolted awake and yelled while the play was still going on.

[quote] The worst professional show was "Billy Elliot." Sweet God it was horrible. I loved the movie so much but, wow.

I saw the road show production in LA. The lead rotated three young actors as Billy. The day we saw it Billy was played by a rather tall Asian kid. He was very athletic but marginally covered the singing and dancing. I could only feel like he was miscast.

I didn't laugh once at 'The Book of Mormon.' Not one time.

^^^ Well, aren’t you a gloomy Gus.

I had to go look this up online to be sure that it really was as I remembered. In the mid-80s. William Esper, the acting coach, directed Macbeth at a summer Shakespeare Festival at Rutgers in New Brunswick. It was set it in the Amazon, with jungle themes and beating drums and bird calls throughout the entire performance. The noise was so loud you could not hear the actors' voices most of the time, which I learned was a blessing those few times you actually could hear them mangle the pronunciation. The most amazing part, was that everyone was in blue body paint. And, I absolutely kid you not, Lady Macbeth was played by Jennifer Beals.

Never Say Never starring Lauren Bacall. Just awful. It was so bad... that I attacked Ms. Bacall's agent and sent her to the hospital, then picked up a guy at a bar and lit his corpse on fire and pretended the body was mine.

The Civil War.

That godawful Elton John vampire musical. I get hives thinking about it.

R165 - that reminds me I saw a production where they had a live bird on stage in a cage. The problem was that the bird started singing very loudly so it was eventually taken away.

r130 here. I didn't see Phantom in previews.

It was Jekyll and Hyde.

i think.

Nine in LA shortly after in closed on Bway. It was set in a train station, Lilian LeFleur did a strip tease, there were subtitles that made stupid comments on the action, and they didn’t cut “Germans at the Spa”

Book of Mormon. Boring cookie cutter musical with dirty words. I guess if fucking a frog is funny...

Bent at the Taper in LA. A hideously pretentious staging of a brilliant play.

I saw some experimental theater in the 80s were the actor were screeching at each other and popping balloons full of “blood”.

The worst most torturous, most pointless musical I've ever seen

CATS

Second choice

ASPECTS OF LOVE, no aspects, no love

Oh, Streetcar!

Isn't CATS see type of metaphor for the nihilism and futility of human existence?

Aida at the Pyramids in Egypt was as awful as you can image.

My younger brother and my father love love love love Broadway musicals and plays. They'd sit through anything as long as it was on a stage.

My mother and I, however, not so much. We walked out on CATS, A CHRISTMAS STORY, TOM JONES, and THE PERFECT CRIME.

We left DREAMLIGHT EXPRESS before the end of the first act. I was 19 and my mother stood up and said, "This is bullshit, I want a glass of wine."

Two words. On loop.

R177, you're absolutely correct. That's pretty much half of the first act.

[quote] Isn't CATS see type of metaphor for the nihilism and futility of human existence?

Hal, it’s about cats

Jellicle cats

Oh I forgot about Billy Elliott—total bore.

I remember shills on various websites talking about it being a classic that will rank with other legendary Bway shows. Now, no one remembers it at all

I hated, REALLY HATED "Miss Saigon" and "Les Miserables", two of the most boring, repetitive bullshit shows I've ever sat through.

I could never get over how the actors had to perform this dreck eight times a week for YEARS!

Les Miserables was bombastically miked as well. It was awful. We barely made it to intermission.

R181 I didn't understand the appeal of Billy Elliot. A boy wants to dance. So what!

And Thatcher is closing the collieries.

This.

Ugh!

This horrible, horrible play by Nicky Silver called "Beautiful Boy." I saw it with a pal at the Vineyard Theater in NYC. The late George Grizzard was in it. He played the father of a man who's a convicted pedophile. He and his wife try to think of ways to stop their son so they come up with the brilliant idea of blinding him--that way he'll never be able to indulge his worst instincts because he won't be able to see boys again.

The worst POS I've ever seen. Poor George Grizzard having to act this out. I guess he needed to work.

Another vote for CATS. Pointless and awful.

I saw The Bodyguard in Chicago a couple years ago. Just pure shit.

In recent years: Everybody's Talking About Jamie -- baffled by it's success and The Waverly Gallery. Left both at the interval.

Really? Different strokes... I loved Everybody's Talking About Jamie! Great score and the original cast was marvelous.

Songbird starring Madeleine Ashton. Only one guy out of the entire audience was applauding.

Different strokes indeed; I enjoyed "The Waverly Gallery."

9 to 5 The Musical. But what else could I expect? I heard Dolly Parton wrote all the songs for the "musical" in 24 hours.

The Nightman Cometh

Granted, the title has subjectivity built into it, but some of these examples are really lame. As someone up-thread mentioned, if the play or musical has been nominated or won a Tony Award/Olivier Award , it really cannot be on a worst play list. Similarly, if the play/musical has been running constantly for more than a year, it really cannot on a worst play list, .....unless it is The Perfect Crime.

I am a bit surprised that The Perfect Crime has not been mentioned more. It really is a dreadful play. What gets me, it that several of the reviews actually mentioned changes that would have improved the play, but it still plods on with the original script. Really, any play that hands out an "Answer Sheet" at the end because they know the play makes no sense has to be one of the worst plays.

[quote] 9 to 5 The Musical.

I completely forgot I had seen that musical

9 to 5 wasn't anywhere near as bad as I'd expected it to be. Maybe a little on the bland and unmemorable side, but I remember being impressed with Allison Janney's musical chops. She didn't have the biggest singing range, but she sold those numbers in a way only a true singing actor could. You'd think Sondheim would get her into one of his revivals or something. She seems like the type of singing actor he'd love.

I saw the closing performance of Ari. I was a kid but all of myON married or widowed ants will take me with them when they wanted to see a Broadway show and no one else would go. As a result, I had seen a lot of shows and new within seconds that this one was a disaster. Of the show itself, my only real memory was a gigantic ship on stage. The empty audience was what was most memorable. Fewer than half of the orchestra seats were full when the curtain Rose, when the second act started a large chunk of those people have not returned and when the final curtain went up I think it was fewer than 1/4 of the orchestra seats were filled. The remaining people applauded and cheered at the top of their lungs to try to fill the sound, but it was very sad for the performers.

The Act.

Walked out after intermission. I thought it might get better but it didn't. A lot of stuff listed I wouldn't go to see because I knew I would hate it. Some of the stuff listed here I liked.

And were you referring to the director of Cats who was Trevor Nunn? I didn't quite get the Hal joke. Refused to see it. However strangely I love the clip on youtube of Page singing Memories from a video of the stage production. And I hate that song. But when Elaine sings it in that clip then it becomes something else entirely. And I only knew Ken from Ain't Misbehavin' and the film of Torch Song so it is kind of bizarre seeing him in a Cats' costume and ascending on a tire with Elaine. Why that happens I don't even want to know.

Sorry, 'Memory.'

Let people have their opinions. There's nothing wrong if somebody didn't like a play you love. You won't convince them otherwise.

[QUOTE]And were you referring to the director of Cats who was Trevor Nunn? I didn't quite get the Hal joke.

I'm not the person who posted it, but ALW has said Hal was approached about directing Cats, and he was trying to understand what the show really about - was it about the class system, about poverty, etc - so ALW had to tell him "Hal, it's about cats"

Hamilton. Sorry, but Hamilton.

R204 I didn't know that. Thank you.

A Streetcar Named Desire - 2005. It starred John C. Reilly as Stanley, Amy Ryan as Stella, and Natasha Richardson as Blanche. All fine actors but Reilly and Richardson were both miserably miscast. Stanley should be good looking and charming. There needs to be some redeeming factor to explain why these women love such a hateful person. Richardson was too strong and self-assured to play Blanche. To make matters worse, it was hot and stuffy in the theatre and the people in the row in front of us chatted non-stop, so we left at the intermission.

I hope before you left the show you told the people in the front row, "You disgust me!"

I once knew someone that was actually in Perfect Crime. He spoke fondly of the time when, during the play, the female lead ( yes, her...she's STILL in it to this very day) gets slapped. Somehow the slap landed... and hard.

Whoopsie, it was an accident.

R209, I would love more stories. The production is such a fascinating train wreck.

Who the fuck ever decided that John C. Reilly was right for Stanley? That has to be one of the biggest casting fuck ups of all time. He was born to play Mitch, but Stanley?

[quote] Who the fuck ever decided that John C. Reilly was right for Stanley?

Jeannie C. Riley could have done a better job.

Certainly in there - GOING UP. A misbegotten Broadway revival of some 1920's piece of crap. I only lasted till Intermission.

[213] here. Sorry, the original production of Going Up was in1917, not 1920's Not that anyone cares. (Except maybe Ken Mandelbaum.)

At the Promenade in 1990: Money Talks, a remake of The Women by M. Schloss and starring Dolores Gray as Phyllis Stein and Helen Gallagher. used to wear a jockstrap to bed until his father made him go straight and marry and procreate.

A friend of mine saw Going Up and said it was hilarious. I saw Whoopee and loved it. It was also the emptiest I had ever see a theater. There were maybe 5 of us in the ANTA balcony. A terrific score with Dan Siretta choreography and a sensational Charles Repole channeling Eddie Cantor.

And I hate musicals! Until I see something like that which was what 40 years ago?

And Dan Siretta was along with Tune and Bennett the last of the really good choreographers. Those that came after do nothing but frenetic hyped up jazzercise.

Saw BUG at a small theater in San Diego. I don’t know what the fuck was going on, but I felt like I was in a hellish drug-induced nightmare...and to top it off the female lead’s tits were out far too long.

"I didn't like 'Cats'. Too many pussies - Ann Miller

Both at the Desert Rose Playhouse in Rancho Mirage California.

Christmas with the Crawfords and Women Behind Bars.

I also have to say that Triumph Of Love was an awful show and that set! It was chartreuse and hot pink! Everytime there was a blackout, the audience suffered an optical illusion. Betty had one okay song and F. Murray spoke sang through his. What a waste of time and talent.

Got free tickets to "the revival of "Zorba!" starring Anthony Quinn and Debbie Shapiro. I t was really bad. Quinn walked through his part and Shapiro was a one-person Greek chorus. She performed every song exactly the same way, 3/4 stance and LOUD. But like someone previously said, free tickets are free tickets.

I never saw Triumph of Love but wanted to because I had tangentially known the composer in college. He was such a nice gay guy but looked a little like “I-Gor”in Young Frankenstein.

It’s amazing how many people stick the show on their worst ever list. I regret missing it.

I and two friends were almost killed by rabid Buckley fans in the lobby of the Royale Theater in leaving during intermission of the Triumph of Love. We were very vocal in denouncing everything about the show especially Mesdames Buckley and Opal. Boy! can younger theater queens be vicious in defending their idols.

And then Nancy Opal appeared in Urinetown, another piece of dreck. I remember leaving that show during the intermission although everyone around me was having a jolly good time splitting their sides laughing during Act I.

I knew tastes varied, but I didn't know colors did. The original set for Triumph of love was green, not chartreuse and hot pink! I have a very clear video of the production to back me up.

As for the show's composer being a nice, I'll back that up. I was called in to sub for a rehearsal pianist on the show, and I protested that my skills weren't up to the task, but he was very supportive.

If TOL was the worst thing you ever saw, you have led a blessed theatre life, that's for sure.

And who can forget Rex Harrison in Heartbreak House, also with Amy Irving. I had second row seats and we could hear him farting throughout the entire show. A real stinker.

A touring production of "Uncle Vanya" many years ago, with Peter O'Toole. I remember him wandering around the stage, seeming lost. The sets were horrible. People were forgetting their lines. I left at intermission.

Have you theatre queens never heard of "ME JACK! YOU JILL!" ?

or am I just the oldest one in the room...

Did anyone see the Keanu Reeves Hamlet? That must have been....interesting

As a gay circuit queen, I just couldn't relate. meh.

Back to this thread after almost a week, since it was bumped up.

R137, you are correct! I got my shows and years mixed up because I had the "worst show" and my memory of my first time in NYC.

I was thinking 1985, and the late 90s when I saw Titanic. How the hell I got the 2 dates mixed up I can not figure out. I was 7 summer of 85, and 20, winter of 97. Indeed, Vampire Lesbians was on during 1985, and we saw Titanic in 1997. My memory is playing tricks on me.

The worst part of Titanic was the number with the 3 tenors who sounded absolutely alike. And I ain't talking Pavarotti, Domingo, and Carreras.

R137, thanks for fixing my memory. Gurl! You know your shit!!!!!

R228, what about Pacino's Richard III, which was so bad that critics compared it to the one that Richard Dreyfus humorously did in Goodbye Girl.

What about Kevin Spacey's Richard the III?

So I was never so privileged to see a production of it, my ex via a Series of Unfortunate Events ended up sitting through Stomp [italic]three times[/italic].

"And then Nancy Opal appeared in Urinetown, another piece of dreck. I remember leaving that show during the intermission although everyone around me was having a jolly good time splitting their sides laughing during Act I."

Brilliantly conceived and executed, URINETOWN was the last--and I mean LAST--great musical to blow through NYC.

A regional production of Gypsy where an elderly actress played Mama Rose like Aunt Clara.

Oh, God, whatever r224!! The fucking set was GREEN, it was GREEN!! GREEN and hot pink! It still created an optical fucking illusion during the blackouts. Some of you theatre queens are ob-fucking-noxious with your right fighting. And, did I say it was the absolute worst show I ever saw? Nope. I just agreed with someone else. The worst fucking show I ever saw was a terrible opera called 'WHERE'S DICK?!' There.

[R234] Grey Gardens was the last great musical to blow into town. Perfect in every way!

Grey Gardens was a POS. Spring Awakening was the last great musical to hit Broadway. And Urinetown before it.

Fags with no taste at all!

[R236] is channeling High Anxiety...

Grey Gardens, is that the show in which all the character development happens during intermission?

21 Chump Street, although I'm not sure it counts due to length. The entire things is on Youtube. This is what proved to me LMM is a talentless hack.

Urinetown. Shitty music, juvenile jokes, and commentary that's completely devoid of depth. It feels as if it was written by a high schooler for some last-minute showcase.

R242 - Lin Marie won a Tony so it seems he has a talent for networking.

R244 He won a Tony because he produced a musical about an immigrant starring a cast of entirely people of color the same year Trump got elected. He owes his win to both the desperation of the white theatre elite to seem like they're not racist and to the fact that Trump had just began Trumping.

Will You? that ends Act I. Ravishingly beautiful as if Noel Coward had written it. But then there was Far From Heaven and War Paint.

As a 90-year old friend, a woman, said to me just before she died: "What happened to melody in musical theater?"

Um.....r130 you're describing Jekyll & Hyde...which wishes it were Phantom, so really you've just paid it the greatest compliment you could.

R195

Not true. The 11 o'clock number Get Out and Stay Out was off one of Parton's albums.

[quote]The fucking set was GREEN, it was GREEN!! GREEN and hot pink!

Wow, you just reminded me of something I'd forgotten. Years ago, I saw a H.S. production of "Showboat". During the "Life Upon the Wicked Stage" number, the chorus girls came out and danced around in giant hot pink rabbit costumes and carrying bright green staffs!

I still have no idea why that artistic decision was made. Truly WTF.

R245, Hamilton premiered in Feb 2015 and won a Tony in June of 2016. Trump declared in June of 2015, well after Hamilton was a sold-out hit at the Public. Hamilton has little real competition that season and was almost certain to win before Trump appeared on any ballot. I suspect your theory has something to do with your dislike for the show, which is one of the biggest Broadway hits ever and made a unique cultural impact. That must chafe you, so you need to majke up a false narrative.

The show that really benefited from Trump’s election was Come From Away. I saw it in DC in the fall of 2016 and it was a breath of fresh air from what was going on outside. It was far from a guaranteed hit, and Datalounge had a thread moaning about a 9/11 musical. I picked up tickets for The Humans at the Schoenfeld, the theater where Come From Away would open, and the box office guy was skeptical that the show would sell at all. People really needed that show.

R196, I’ll add its companion piece, “Zoo Animals on Wheels.”

THIS is the last great musical.

Did no one see Hedda Gabler with Robots??

Another for Starlight Express. The night I saw it two roller skating performers fell, hard. So completely idiotic.

" Contact "and it won for best musical and no one fuckin sang or spoke a single word. It was fuckin awful. I still regret buying two tickets and it was almost 20 years ago!

That Natasha Pierre musical was a total bore.

R254 You obviously didn't see the Starlight Express touring production with Peter Griffin. It was fabulous!

Two musicals Off Broadway (in rinky-dink theaters) by someone named Arnold L. Cohen, both relatively short in length but eternal in waiting for it to end. "Come Light My Cigarette" and "Midnight Street". They were only about 70 minutes each and both times I was up front so I couldn't easily sneak out after I realized how hideous they both were. I was not surprised when I discovered that "Midnight Street" had the same author as they were both extremely misandrist (male author no less) and didn't have any redeeming values in the score or singers. Their Show Score average was under 10 out of 100. I've burnt his name into my head so I never have to sit through such stink when theater opens ever again.

Cats Aspects of Love Bedroom Farce Jekyll & Hyde The Scarlet Pimpernel

[quote]if the play/musical has been running constantly for more than a year, it really cannot on a worst play list...

R197 I totally disagree with your statement. As others have mentioned, WICKED is a perfect example of a popular but terrible musical. My personal bitch about that particular show is after all the money they spent, they couldn't actually fly Elphaba during Defying Gravity? And nobody has mentioned the long-running production of OH! CALCUTTA!

But I must admit, that I have sat through and enjoyed to some extent many of the shows mentioned in his thread. I'm a very patient theater-goer who appreciates the effort made by actors, directors, musicians, etc. Also, there's a big difference between "bad" and "boring".

And a shoutout to R277 who mentioned one of the best examples of a worst play: ME JACK YOU JILL. You are not the oldest in the room.

Phantom is a piece of shit.

"Sleep No More"-I was confused as fuck through all of it. None of it made any sense-especially when I was dragged into a closet by a man who started to pray, dug a half of a playing card out of some sand said something to me, gave me the card, kissed me on the forehead and left. Spent the rest of the evening sitting in the set that looked like a lobby waiting for my ex who was somewhere else seeing some other fucked up part of the play.

My greatest regret in life is that I never got to see Suzanne Sommers in The Blonde in the Thunderbird on Broadway. The Times review was hilarious.

The Goodbye Girl with Martin Short and Bernadette Peters. People walked out in droves

Tell Me Darling. Saw Neely O’Hara’s understudy. They said she had laryngitis.

Good lord, the turgid turds of Richard Foreman at the Wooster Group. I went to quite a few don't ask me why.

Love Never Dies - totally trashes whatever little was good about Phantom. Insanely stupid fan-fiction plot. “Bathing Beauty” is probably the most embarrassing musical number I’ve ever seen on a large stage.

Aspects of Love - the show so boring they had to throw a funeral into the second act to liven things up

I saw "If Memory Serves" off-Broadway too. It was even worse than r42 describes. Jonathan Tolins certainly had his share of bombs before "Buyer and Cellar" (which I genuinely enjoyed). I am amazed he was given so many chances. I didn't see "Twilight of the Golds" on Broadway, but I saw the horrible TV movie of it with Faye Dunaway. (He has incidentally also has had the worst titles for his plays.)

Damn Yankees starring singing sensation quarterback Joe Namath at Jones Beach seaside amphitheatre, 1981. I'm 17 years old then and go with distant relatives who live on Long Island near there. The theater was such a weird visual -- huge stage plopped over the water separated by a thin band of water with the 8,000 seats above the sandy beach. I think the actors must have been boated over to the stage before starting.

Joe was as wooden in both song and dance as you can imagine, but the press was gentle in their criticisms given his New York hero status.

Mr. Marmalade with Michael C. Hall.

Originally conceived as a two act play with intermission (the end of the first act leaves the stage a mess). By the time I saw it they’d cancelled the intermission. Anybody with half a brain would have escaped if given a chance.

R269 That is a very odd set up for a theatre.

That’s be cool for shows that have boats or seashores in them, like “Pirates of Penzance” or “Showboat” or “Little Mermaid”

Terrible place to stage “Follies”

[quote]I saw Chess, and the audience hated it. Like, the whole audience.

Yup, not only one of the worst shows, but easily the ugliest. What a stinker!

[quote]Adele Dazeem in "If/Then," a failed musical that had a test run in SF, where I saw it. It somehow made it to Broadway for about a week before it died a merciful death.

Awful as I'm certain it was,"If/Then? ran a whole year on Broadway, and the national tour ran almost a year.

I'm enjoying this thread OP! 👌

I LOLed at

[Quote] During the "Life Upon the Wicked Stage" number, the chorus girls came out and danced around in giant hot pink rabbit costumes and carrying bright green staffs!

Jekyl and Hyde Titanic Will Rogers Follies Momma Mia

It's a tie between Mary Zimmerman's "Arabian Nights" (the production was gorgeous, but material was and is absolute garbage), and the musical "Quilters", by Barbara Damashek and Molly Newman: "Square number 5,436,928..." Bitch, I DON'T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE.

I fell asleep during both, and I'm an immense fan of live theatre.

R277 Here. Excuse me, but they refer to the sections of the quilt as "blocks", not "squares" (which is the proper term, after all). Still, I fucking hate that show.

Rent. I saw it in early 1997, and again in 2005. I hated it both times.

In the mid 90s, I saw a production of Rogers and Hammerstein's "State Fair", weighed down with John Davidson, Kathryn Crosby (Bing's widow), and Andrea McCardle. Embarrassingly bad.

Mother Fucking Cats indeed! (If I'd seen it).

Chess. Good God. WTH is the plot??? Why is it so popular Europe??

Whistle down the wind...a l Weber As far as I remember it open and closed in DC.

It was terrible

Urinetown - Crappy show anyway, but the production I saw had hone post nuclear, rather than dystopian. So, you had all these people in rages and dirt bitching about not being able to piss, which made no sense as they had no money or jobs and it was nonsense. The only good part was the designer was deaf, so had to comment, "No, that bitch is fucking blind".

Also saw a lesbian Romeo and Juliet that did away with the meter. And the Romeo was one of those fat, sloppy lesbians. What a shit show.

The most memorable worst play was being in the opening night audience for "Legends!" in Los Angeles -- the doomed comedy about acting rivals played by Mary Martin and Carol Channing.

James Kirkwood's book about the debacle was entertaining, but let himself off the hook in a big way. The script was AWFUL. Combine that with the fact that Martin couldn't remember her lines, and every time Channing got going, she had to stop and prompt Martin to get back on track. ("Aren't you going to tell me how much you like my dress?" That sort of thing.)

Plus the wisecracking comic relief was a Jean Hill-sized black maid named "Aretha" who was the brunt of both fat and black jokes that probably dated from vaudeville — AND there was a scene with a male stripper humping Carol and Mary.

At the intermission, every homosexual in that goddamn audience ran outside, eyes glittering and pencil-dialing fingers quivering, anticipating the dishy phone calls after the ordeal was over.

Even nonsmokers joined the smokers: "Is this really as BAD as I think ... " "Darling, it's WORSE."

We trooped in eagerly for Act 2, knowing we were witnessing history.

The Patsy Cline Story in London in the early 90s. I got free tickets through work. My parents loved Patsy, and I grew up listening to her, so I thought why not? It was a mess. It began with a sound effect of a plane crash, which seemed a bit tasteless. George Hamilton IV was the narrator, sitting on what looked like a toadstool. A hyperactive stage school brat playing Brenda Lee roaring “Come on little baby, let’s jump the broomstick “at the top of her lungs. It was a jukebox musical but it could have been so much better. The woman playing Patsy was actually pretty good. I felt sorry for her having to carry a show with all that nonsense going on.

Cats.

Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat in London complete with inflatable sheep and palm trees.

LOL That sounds amazing!

Whatever. Even without inflatable sets, the music is still lame.

[quote]I saw a regional theater production of The Diary of Anne Frank that was the worst. The lead actress forgot her lines at least a couple times and looked ten years too old for the role

Was that the production in Miami that was so bad that when the actors playing the Nazis came on stage, the audience yelled, "She's in the attic!"

Honeymoon in Vegas had the worst book and music of all time. Tony Danza would be fine as a singing waiter. Any show that tries to be funny using the premise of a dead Mother as a character deserves the reception this play received.