Anxiety and Your Job

You get a pension?

Your great retirement does you no good if your job is deleterious to your health.

Go ahead and leave.

Yes, 23 years before retirement. its pure hell. no pension.

You’re off for “stress leave”? That’s one way to make your position more precarious. Stress leave. Man up.

I struggled terribly the last 7 years with starts and stops of indecision and stress. But I did go ahead and retire at 60 and will keep company insurance until 65. ($900/month but pretty low deductible and max out of pocket) I got a pension but started SS at 62 yrs anyway as I don't think I'll make it much past 80.

Focus on knowing you have an end date, seek professional therapy on coping tools and white knuckle yourself through it. You will be happy when it is over and even happier knowing you stayed til the end.

You can do it....I believe in you!!!

I always ask myself “Will this matter/be remembered a few months from now?” when having to deal with a evaluation or trying to take unwarranted time off. The answer is usually NO, and it really helps to put everything in perspective and calm me down. I have a tendency to magnify problems and brood about work from home.

*an ^

I hear ya, OP. I dealt with this for the last three years of my working life. New management came in and even though they were ultimately no threat to me or my role, I saw a lot of good people get shit on and either bail out or get forced out and like everyone else, wondered if I'd be next. I wasn't, ironically (they wanted me to stay), but the office became a lot less pleasant place to be. There were plenty of days I dreaded going in to work but I too had a generous pension (or the lump sum payout to fund it and I took the lump sum) coming and that kept me going until I was 65. I'd still be working there full time at age 68 if things hadn't changed.

One bit of advice: figure out what you want to do in retirement before it happens. Doing nothing worked for a while, but it's not the answer.

I would also add exercise and I know everyone says that but it really helps dealing with stress. Start walking as that will help lots.

Thanks for the helpful comments. I really appreciate it.

I'm just so happy to even be employed at 58. So many older people can't find jobs so try to focus on how lucky you really are. Again, you have an end date and focus on that.

Honey, get some edible and xanax from your friendly therpist and skate. Stay away from bs, te joint is purposefully making it miserable so that they dont have to pay your pension.

I ended up quitting at 55. Not smart financially - but I just could not do another month. Of course, I didn't have a pension hanging out there - which is huge. I decided I didn’t want to die being miserable - and a sister died at 60. I would rather take my chances of being broke at 80 the being miserable for another 10 years - or dying before I can retire.

If you can get help, drugs, or alter your work environment /pressures somehow, stick it out. Pension is a huge thing. If you think your health will hold out - and your genetics indicate a longer life - put the work into figuring it out.

Don't self medicate, DON'T DRINK (makes it worse). You might try medical marijuana or see if your doctor can prescribe something to help calm you.

Try meditation and exercise.

Yea, OP. Drugs and alcohol. I mentioned the stress to my boss once, and she said, “that’s the fun of it”. She was right. Getting a challenge and besting it. But the stress was terrible. Ten years later, when I hear a standard pager sound, I have to be pealed off the ceiling.

Earnestness isn't healthy, it seems. I've already had a stay in the hospital with a previous job. My current job suffers from leadership's lack of vision, ultimately making my work unmanageable by design. This time around, the difference is that I know better, and I shouldn't let it get to me, yet I still rage silently when my professional, reasonable ideas are ignored. 15 more years to go, theoretically. No pension, just investments on my own, hoping that the economy doesn't collapse. I am looking every day at other jobs, but I don't want to find myself someplace worse, so I'm being careful. I was watching this video at the link today - yes it's that bad - and the suggestion to act a role at work might be the solution for me. Maybe I can be a fake "team player" at work. I just don't know if I can ignore stubborn, stupid resistance when it would actually be more efficient for us all to do things the right way. At least try. Never mind. I need to find some phrases to feign enthusiastic compliance.

Im 37 and I’m starting a new job with a new company in a few weeks. It’s a large company and I want this to be the company I retire with because I’m tired of going from company to company. Anyone have any tips or suggestions for me on what I should do this time around so that I can do well yet fly under the radar for the most part so that I don’t make enemies?

A big factor is age, and not for the obvious reason. It's just that, being older, we're faced with a different life situation. Things that used to be important are no longer so important, such as skills or loyalty. Nowadays, it's dog-eat-dog. And fluff. "If I can get rid of you, I can hire someone with 1/3 your skills at 125% of your salary!"

R18 be aggressive with the 401k program!. I started job at 38 and retired at 60 from said company. I took the job as a favor to a friend that needed to plug in my skill set. I had NO intention of staying more than 5 years! and VOILA! retirement after 23yrs! it helped that said company was into treating employees well

To the posters who suggested medication, I’m on quite a bit (Paxil, Abilify and the just added Wellbutrin. I also have Lorazepam for when I’m having panic attacks.) of drugs already.

Girl, you've going to get a pension if you stick around. Toughen up buttercup and get that money.

Listen to r12. Count yourself fortunate to be gainfully employed in a nice job that is going to allow you to retire well.

Interesting to hear about pension dilemma. I’ve always been so envious of people who got pensions. But I appreciate the golden handcuffs. The good thing is I can quit anytime. The bad thing is I need to save EVERY penny I will need for the rest of my life and have absolutely ZERo financial security in old age.

Sorry to derail. Anyways, r18: the one thing I would say, is to NEVER GOSSIP. It never helps you. You do get info, true, but at a cost. Well, at least never bad-mouth anyone. One trick that always comes in handy for me is not responding to statements. Just keep a poker face for a few seconds and then change the subject. It has saved me MANY times when a conversation was turning toxic. It’s so simple, but quite hard to do.

Also: always choose your battles and don’t argue about things that you don’t have the power to change anyway. You just sound argumentative and disrespectful.

Be on time. Greet people ALWAYS. Another little thing that’s actually big.

Take time off. They’ll take you for granted if you seem like you have no life. Learned that the hard way.

Take a little time to make (benign) small talk. More bees with honey.

That’s just the tip, I could write a book. 😩

You really need to do some serious soul searching r18 if you are making enemies everywhere you go. Clearly the problems caused by your personality go deeper than just your job.

Sometimes I actually sort of “role play” at work. Sounds bizarre, but it passes the time. I imagine people in history who had to work in some historically awful place. Like a medieval serf or something. 9-5 has ALWAYS been bad since day 1.

Another technique I use is Guided Imagery. When you feel stressed, you relax, breathe and look at a blank sheet of paper or something ( don’t close your eyes or do this too long, as coworkers will think you’re wacky) and picture doves or a rainbow over a tropical beach or something that makes you happy.

You could also maybe listen to calming sounds on earphones, or have anti-stress toys/sculptures on your desk. A more comfortable chair? You’d be surprised how little things help. Another thing is temperature. If I’m cold at my cubicle, I’m on edge, so I always bring a sweater.

And change your desk phone to a more soothing ring. Some are very jarring. Switch to decaf (not if you need it to function)?

OP, try restorative yoga. The book at the link has an excellent set of postures for stress relief. I have not done a lot of yoga, but got this and tried the set of poses after someone recommended it. I could not believe how much clearer my thinking was afterwards. I was shocked because I did not think the benefits would be that immediate. I telework most days and when I get into a situation where I know I'm not functioning well due to anxiety, I will take a break to do this set of exercises. It takes about 45 minutes and is not strenuous, i.e. all the poses can be done immediately.

You should be able to go through your public library to check out a copy to see whether it is helpful. You can buy it later if it works for you. It has a number of other poses as well for various things. You might find it worth doing either before work or after on a daily basis unless you have a place where you could do it during the work day like over lunch when you needed to do so.

R20 & R24 Thank you for the advice!

R25 I end up making enemies everywhere I go because I can’t keep my mouth shut (or I should say, I don’t play “the game”). Whenever I get asked my opinion on something, I’m the one who says what everyone is thinking but is too afraid to say. I also don’t kiss ass and I can’t keep quiet when something is fucked up and everyone knows it but just turns their head the other way. I know I need to shut my mouth but it’s so hard to play “the game”. But I’m going to try this time. I don’t want to start over AGAIN after this.

[quote]To the posters who suggested medication, I’m on quite a bit (Paxil, Abilify and the just added Wellbutrin. I also have Lorazepam for when I’m having panic attacks.) of drugs already.

OP, Wellbutrin is great at taking away depression but it makes anxiety 10x worse!! I know from experience and you can google it too if you don’t believe me.

I will look into that, R30. My anxiety needs to improve not get worse.

OP, if you go on permanent disability, consider getting your mortgage insured against such. It might be limited to a certain amount of time. Also, buy a bunch of electronics. Get the insurance they push on you because “you can cancel anytime”. I’d never recommend unless you thought you’d use it. Read the fine print. Mental disability is treated differently than physical. You might have to put it on their credit card to be applicable.

I’ve looked into long-term disability, but it is very hard to get for mental health claims.

The idea of “acting” at the job is horrible. I did for years. It’s soul destroying to act like someone else for the MAJORITY of your life. It is not a real solution to “act” - even if it may be necessary to get through an interim period.

Work has become so dehumanizing unless you’re a sociopath. It’s logical to be anxious if you’re not a sociopath - in most corporate jobs.