Misophonia: a condition triggered by sounds like gum chewing

Oh my god, OP, I just learned last year there was a name for what I’ve suffered from my whole life. I was ready to kill my co-worker last week. Not only the gum popping sounds but her jaw clicks. Unbearable.

I have it, yes, but it's not just any particular noise, it's most everyday noises that annoy me. I actually feel myself getting more and more exhausted the more noises I hear. That's why I wear earplugs every second while I'm at home, even during sleep.

So I took the shotgun off the wall.....

Does hating bad music enough to boycott businesses that play it count?

I know this is a real thing, but it's always hard to sympathize when people have it. They seem like super-prisspots.

Oh fuck, I have this! Repetitive bass noise from cars driving by or from a neighbor's house just drives me insane. I called the cops on my neighbors (music producers) to get them to stop their beats going for hours as they were working on a track.

Special Snowflake M̶M̶i̶s̶o̶p̶h̶o̶n̶i̶a̶ : a condition triggered by sounds like gum chewing

I don't know if I specifically have it per se, but in an office environment this is not unusual. A couple of instances in particular - I had to sit next to someone who would pound their keyboard like they were playing whack-a-mole. Our department was also positioned next to HR, and there were two heifers who would loudly talk to each other from their respective offices and manically cackle at the top of their lungs.

people whispering can drive me nuts. A lot of the ASMR stuff rubs me the wrong way. might be a flip side of the same coin as to why people enjoy it.

It's a symptom of a social anxiety disorder where being around other people is an issue. Like, not being able to fully control your enviroment.

Not just noises but repetitive actions like jiggling a foot or fiddling pointlessly with a phone.

- phone keyboards you can hear click

- speakerphones in public

- bass coming through walls

- AMSR

- any mouth noise; gum clicking in particular

When I’m trying to take a relaxing shower at the gym at the same time every morning, there’s a woman on the other side of an adjoining wall in a class I can hear through the vent. She laughs with a high pitched cackle just like Hazel the witch on Bugs Bunny. I’ve heard her several times, it cuts right through the air every time and can’t stand it anymore.

Next time I’m going to yell, “Shut up, you sound like a witch”

Who takes a "relaxing" shower at the gym?

R14 that’s the whole issue. Just as I get underneath a hot shower and try to relax my back muscles I hear that awful cackling. It’s usually early enough in the morning I beat the crowd.

Repetitive, rhythmic sounds like water dripping or a ceiling fan clicking. People who make pig noises ir breathe loudly while they eat.

Slurping and clacking on a boiled sweet - that sound drives me to murderous rage

"A boiled sweet"? What the hell is that?

R18 What you'd probably call hard candy

For me, flip/flops or any shoe/stepping noise, shuffling cards, sirens, water bottles crackling or slurping, ice....

People who keep clicking their retractable pens drives me up the wall.

I would never be friends with someone with this condition. All that silent anger would be a downer.

R13 yeah, cuz it’s all about you. Freaky dude. Are you single?

R13 yeah, cuz it’s all about you. Freaky dude. Are you single?

I'm not convinced all these people with self-diagnosed misophonia are anything other than your ordinary assholes.

[quote]any shoe/stepping noise

Shoes you can hear = reason to chop someone's legs off.

Vocal fry. I have all but entirely abandoned my public radio station because of it. It's all day classical music on my radio now.

ASMR -- those right-in-your-ear spitty, lips-sticking-together sounds make me want to kill whoever is doing it with FIRE!

[quote]Slurping and clacking on a boiled sweet - that sound drives me to murderous rage

[quote]"A boiled sweet"? What the hell is that?

[quote]What you'd probably call hard candy

"Boiled sweet": a Britishism?

Yeah, that's right, like uncut cocks, something not American, deal with it you parochial little cunts.

At work now and one of my coworkers is clanking his spoon around a glass bowl while another is digging nuts out of a paper cup. Can I get all you guys on my jury after I murder them?

I would love to be on the jury for someone who gets rid of a public speakerphone talker. LOVE TO.

Is this just a new word for “things that annoy us”?

Snot-moms and that nasally, know-it-all yack about ... well, you know, being a MOM and drinking WINE and shit like that.

That's not it, r34. That's just "things that annoy us."

I only support the death penalty for playing music loudly in public.

I've served on a murder trial in the past, R31, and I voted to acquit. I did it for him. I'll do it for you, too. Sign me up!

Sweaty bare fleshy feet thwacking against flip flops across the office floor bug me

Schopenhauer said, “I have long held the opinion that the amount of noise that anyone can bear undisturbed stands in inverse proportion to his mental capacity and may therefore be regarded as a pretty fair measure of it.”. In other words, the smarter you are the less noise you can tolerate.

Misophonia is a neurological condition and I have been living with it since I was 12 (1972). I'm 59 now, and it was only ten years ago, in 2009, through a random Google search that I learned that misophonia is a real condition and I wasn't the only one. That's when I learned that it usually develops in puberty (I was 12), and all of the times I'd thought about shooting my eardrums out with a beebee gun or having my hearing surgically altered sadly made sense.

Though it's only sparked by trigger sounds, to go that long unaware—from age 12 to age 49—was a sort of 'dark ages' for me in regards to misophonia and at times it was extremely aggravating and isolating. My parents were the source of the worst trigger sounds (eating sounds and throat clearing) and I was never able to convey to them what I was going through and how miserable it made me. They never "got it' and every day was like Groundhog Day, having to bring it up all over again. And I HATED bringing it up, and most of the time I just put up with it. Other than that, both of them were the coolest mom and dad a guy like me could want, but this issue overtook that in many ways. I moved away from home just before I turned 17, and from then on never spent prolonged periods of time with them, as much as I tried.

Towards the end of the second link (below) it shows exactly what someone who has misophonia goes through when triggered. And just ignore Kelly Ripa btw. It's not about being a prisspot or saying certain noises bug me. It's about your entire sense of well-being quickly leaving your body, your brain flatlines and fills with irrational thoughts, and all you want to do is get away from the trigger sounds ASAP before a colossal dose of rage fills every inch of your body.

second link

My obnoxious co worker spends the day slurping and gulping from cans of soda. The sound it literally makes me want to push him out of the 35th floor window. It makes my skin crawl:

I had a friend who was very triggered by certain sounds, but then he was very OCD in general.

Has anyone with this condition tried those headband earphones? I am trying to transition away from earplugs as they seem to be affecting my hearing. These look they may have additional benefits too as I like to do work from home and it does get noisy during the day.

Are these relaxing? I sleep with earplugs but am trying to get accustomed to more comforting sounds.

I absolutely have it. It is not merely being annoyed by a sound. It is also having a severe reaction to it, something akin to rage or fight/flight/freeze. It's not fun. High-pitched sounds nasal voices, scraping noises etc etc .

The anti-gum chewers on my trip cannot stand to see someone chewing gum. “She’s chomping like an animal!”

I have nothing against gum chewers, my beef is with people who excessively and loudly clear their throat.

[quote]Yeah, but his predecessor, Jim Jeffords, left the Republican party in 2001, became an independent and caucused with the Democrats until he retired in 2007. By the time Bernie replaced him, Vermont had pretty much completed its transition from a solidly Republican state to a solidly Democratic one. So it's not like Bernie accomplished some magical feat.

Don't spoil the narrative with facts, r5.

[quote]The anti-gum chewers on my trip cannot stand to see someone chewing gum. “She’s chomping like an animal!”

No, what anti-gum chewers cannot stand is to [italic]hear[/italic] someone chewing gum.

People who fake "whisper" - namely attention whoring drama queens, who purposefully pronounce any words with the letter S like a whistle blowing. I've read some stuff saying that this was actually a lisp, but I doubt it - it's entirely deliberate.

The bitch/cunt walk on hard floors where some power demanding female has to stomp through an open space as if she was Godzilla attacking the city. You look up at them, and they have that angry feminist glare, too. If someone ever comes up to me that way if I have to be on a job interview, I'll know that this is NOT the person I want to work for.

R50, a "lisp" used to be limited to making a "th" sound when reading the letter "s." I think the millennials have widened the definition to include any sound they don't like, whereath I jutht thay "a lithp ith the eth thound pronounthed like 'th'".

My mother clears her throat and coughs incessantly, and has for years as a side effect of drugs she takes fo hypothyroidism. She practically punctuates sentences with disgusting irksome noises, and it’s fucking detestable.

She sleeps two rooms over from me in a small house, and this noise carries on until the small hours every night without fail. I’ve begged and insisted she take echinacea or bromelain or even Pine syrup or something, but she won’t do anything but sip at water and say “sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

So she basically refuses to address or help the issue she is causing, leaving me to my own rage. Plugs & earphones don’t block it out. Meditation doesn’t. I’ve taken to throwing things around or breaking old glass outside in the middle of the night to get my anger out and prevent me doing violence to my actual mother.

It saddens me that I am gradually losing any love or liking I have for her thanks to this, and will probably despise her utterly with raging loathing by the time she needs care (unless she decides to end our suffering earlier). It’s so distracting and angering, I can’t think straight or concentrate or sleep properly.

And yeah, I’m expecting the “just move out, you impoverished leeching whore” comments, but you all know as well as I that we can’t all be Scrooge McEldergay and that due to the current lockdowns money is only getting tighter.

When I was a child both my parents made weird (but different) throat scratching noises that nearly drove me to choke them (not literally but the urge was strong). As an adult I have been immensely triggered by the occasional person who sucks their teeth, you know that thing where they smack their lips trying to get the food out. DRIVES ME BONKERS. In this case, I think it's just bad manners--their parents probably did it, and they do it. It's actually cultural--certain cultures signify their pleasure at a good meal by audibly sucking their teeth. I ended a relationship because he did that. Disgusting habit.

R53, you're demanding your mother take some herbal remedy, that's not the same thing as her refusing to do anything about the side effects of her medication. She has hypothyroidism and some decongestants and medications will be dangerous for her, that includes herbals.

She needs to go to a doctor and tell him about the side effects, and you need to see a therapist for your own issues. That's real advice, it's not just DL bitchiness. You both need to see professionals.

My partner has a nervous habit of playing with his nails, both hands and feet, picking at the dry skin around them so hard that if we're both on the couch, you can feel him doing it, not just hear it. Sometimes he shoves his thumb into a napkin that's been wadded up and moves it around so it makes a squeaking noise.

I've had to stop nearly every show or movie we've watched for the last several years because of it, begging him to stop. He got so mad he bought a fucking bean bag to put in the middle of the living room so he doesn't have to sit next to me any more.

Then he saw a show about misophonia which called it a "disorder," and told me that he's angry with me for "not getting my disorder treated."

I might have it, I don't know; I really do get a panicky fight-or-flight response when the noise starts. But I have a lot of trouble believing I'm the problem here, not him.

r56: Forgive me, but he sounds like he actively tries to annoy you.

Thank you R55, I shall take your words to heart. What sort of therapy do you suggest, something like targeted anger management? I’m not being glib; I’ve had plenty of different types of therapy before, and none have touched my chronic dysmythic depressions & fugues so I’m afraid haven’t much confidence in the general field.

As for my mother, sound as the idea is it’s hardly the time to be taking her to a doctor or a hospital. What is more, she’s refused to go and speak to one about this issue since it began some years ago. Nothing has changed as far as I know, and if she hasn’t given in to my pleading by now I don’t know how to change her mind. How can I get her to take my misery seriously?

R44 I’d like to know about those machines too. Are they affordable? Are they effective at blocking out human noise? Are they safe to leave on at night while one sleeps?

I can't stand sounds that are too soft. Like when someone softly/hesitantly knocks on a door, puts down a cup very slowly in an attempt to be extra considerate and polite etc. It reminds me of being touched too softly, which I also hate. Using a shower with low water pressure is like torture for me.

Not sure if this qualifies as misophonia, as it's not a particular sound that annoys me, but a certain quality of not only sounds, but sensations in general. However, the feeling these sensations evoke is similar to what others have described here. Extreme discomfort, unbearable tension that quickly turns into murderous rage. The only way I can make it go away is by either producing a louder sound - like, taking my own cup and SLAMMING it on the table - or, if that's not possible, hitting/pinching myself. I even 'correct' myself when I've produced a sound that is below the threshold of what I can tolerate.

Are there other people with this issue? As you can imagine, I'm 1. constantly stressed and 2. an absolute nightmare to live with. I've been to at least half a dozen therapists in my life, but none could help me with this particular problem. Some said it was a form of OCD, but since I have mild OCD as well and the feeling is completely different, I know it's definitely something else.

It's funny how the people who have this kind of mental illness have no problem making the noises themselves but as soon as SOMEONE ELSE does it, it's a problem.

It's funny how the people who have this kind of mental illness have no problem making the noises themselves but as soon as SOMEONE ELSE does it, it's a problem.

Whoops.

I used to work with a woman who flew into a rage over the normal sounds of an office. Needless to say, she was batshit crazy and a major asshole.

My trashy neighbors have been blasting music all day. Heavy bass, the same songs on a continuous loop. I am four houses down and across the street - their adjacent neighbors must be going insane. These cretins throw parties in their front yard because they are too lazy to fill their in-ground backyard pool, and are concerned for the safety of their drunken friends and family members. Since this is a holiday weekend there will be a bonfire, and small children running around unattended. The family has a relative who works high up in the police department, because one of my neighbors finally complained about the little kids/fire and the noise, but nothing was done. If not for coronavirus I would be spending the evening at the movies - but now there is no escape.

Vocal fry sends me into a murderous rage . When it first became prevalent it annoyed me but I could deal with it for short durations. Now I have asked for different servers at restaurants if they speak in it,as well as hair stylists or anyone I dont have to put up with. I feel ridiculous about it,but it really grates to the point it can ruin my day .

Misophonia is that bullshit you have to deal with when you know someone who is constantly saying things like "stop chewing", "stop slurping", "stop eating chips, it's too loud" WHILE THEY SLURP AND SLOP AWAY. One of those annoying self-righteous fucks. They also tend to be the type of person who talks over others, never apologizes and never believes that they are in the wrong.

R58 / R53 , I don't think you have to seek out an anger management specialist. I would suggest cognitive behavioral therapy, just because that seems to be what everybody practices now.

I do empathize with your situation. I lived with my mom as an adult. She was hard of hearing, had a hearing aid, but didn't like wearing it. In retrospect, I understand why (it made some kind of squealing noise). She would blast the TV and it drove me nuts.

She's dead now and I miss her. It was her damn house and it was my damn problem (the loud TV). But that doesn't make your situation better.

In summation, I think you just need to find a therapist that you click with, personality-wise. You can't continue living with so much pent-up anger at your own mother, who has her own set of problems.

Therapists now do remote (like a secured Face Time) consultations. Good luck!

Sounds I hate:

1. Throat-clearing, over and over. It's a symptom of acid reflux. Disgusting.

2. Vocal fry seems to be losing favor, but upspeak (every statement sounds like a question) is still popular, even for men. I fucking hate it. IMO, makes you sound like you have no authority.

[quote]he sounds like he actively tries to annoy you

He was abused and neglected as a child and does all sorts of crazy things for attention if he feels abandoned, which is frequently, and yes, I assume this is one of those things.

[quote]What sort of therapy do you suggest, something like targeted anger management?

I have no idea what you would need, honestly, and think it would be a good idea to see a general psychiatrist or therapist and get their advice on what kind of therapy you need, if any. They may say you don't need any! But what you describe does really sound like something a professional should be brought in for.

As for your mother, I'd personally try looking up the medication she's on and checking side effects, then looking up to see what other similar medication she could take that might not have the same side effect, maybe even ask on a support group. Once you find some good alternatives, suggest them to her. Remind her that this is apparently disrupting her sleep.

You're right that you can't do this right now, but hopefully it won't be long before we can start going to doctors again.

R69, You shouldn’t have to put up with that. Childhood abuse and neglect and abandonment issues are not a blanket excuse.

I never said child abuse was a blanket excuse for bad behavior. What an inappropriate escalation, R71.

Teeth scraping on silverware while someone eat!. It's worse if I accidentally do it, because I feel as well as hear it, but I am usually careful to avoid it. My brother used to zing! his fork between his teeth with every bite of food when we were kids and it made me want to murder him at dinner time.

[quote]Teeth scraping on silverware while someone eat!

I suffer enormously from listening to other people's mouth noises (slurping, smacking), but somehow, I have never noticed silverware scraping. I feel for you, r73, I really do—people should STFU when they eat and drink—but I wonder why I've never heard this noise.

R73 should say eatS, not eat. R74, The teeth scraping on silverware sound gives me unpleasant shivers and a salivary reaction in my mouth. It's the way many people react to fingernails on a chalkboard (which doesn't bother me). The other horrific sound I cannot tolerate is a dentist's drill.