5 Phrases Your Black Friend Wishes You Would Stop Using

DLers don't have black friends silly.

Why would I ever give a fuck about what some nobody on Medium thinks I should say or not say?

The only one I disagree with is the last one, which is essentially shaming people for reflexive phrasing. Everything else makes sense.

[QUOTE] You’re not really Black

Sweet Jesus, that’s gotta be the worst one on the list.

[quote] White progressives… so often — despite our conscious intentions — make life so difficult for people of color. I believe that white progressives cause the most daily damage to people of color.

OK. I'll become a reactionary Republican instead since you clearly would prefer that.

Liberals really do have a habit of shooting themselves in the foot.

I'm not sure which is worse: the race-baiting threads of the 5 new Royal threads a day.

Thanks for the click bait, but I really couldn’t give a flying fuck.

*’Attention-seeking SJW Twitter Junkie Concocts List of Bullshit No One Really Says to Chastise Allies and for Clickbait’

1. You’re so strong!

2. You’re so articulate

3. I wish I could wear/get away with/style my hair like that…

4. You’re not really Black

5. I can’t believe…

(Maybe some say No. 5, but it’s not with bad intention.) Fuck off with this censoring bullshit. She might as well vote for Trump 2020. Look at the real problem. You have to get power to change things and running all over people who support you instead of the opposition is not the way to get there.

Now for the list of 5 Phrases Your White Friend Wishes You Would Stop Using...?

R10 I’ll start...

1. “Now see, I find that to be really problematic...”

I thought they'd be shit like: "girl...", "sista", "oh no you didn't" etc.

I can't imagine anyone saying shit like that in the blog.

Strong people don’t get offended.

What if I just promise not to keep asking at the supermarket if they accept food stamps?

Six of one, a half dozen of another, R5.

[quote] Six of one, a half dozen of another, [R5].

Then I'll go for it! And you can enjoy four more years of President Trump.

Oh boy.

5 Woke Identity Politics Bloggers You Wish Would Die in Greasefires

She sounds, uppity.

The Black ones do r1.

Hmm

[quote] I believe that white progressives cause the most daily damage to people of color.

This is one of the fucking stupidest and dishonest things I've read in a while.

“Do better." Ahhh. My favorite thought-ender from vacuous self-aggrandising blogosphere douches, I.e. self-identified ‘journalists’. The vast majority of writers associated with Gawker and similar sites just usd to go ham with that phrase. It’s smug and void of all real deep thought,

Black people are becoming insufferable. It’s better to stay clear of them.

R24 Hey, you said it, not me.

I'm appalled.

Shocking!

Bump!

Bitch!

[quote] DLers don't have friends silly.

Fixed

[quote] Black people are becoming insufferable. It’s better to stay clear of them.

When you're offended by something said by a white person (the United States is over 70+ percent white and still very segregated); do you also make grand pronouncements about white the white race being insufferable. If so you obviously must make that announcement all day long everyday,being that again the United States is over 70% white and only 13% black.

The answer to that is no you don't demonize, indict and convict the entire white race every time you're annoyed by whites.

[quote] This is one of the fucking stupidest and dishonest things I've read in a while.

Alone it doesn't make sense. If you keep reading; it makes perfect sense. The people closest to you have greater access. Unlike your enemies, with whom you avoid interacting. You encounter and willingly/enthusiastically interact with friends and loved ones all day long everyday.

[quote] I believe that white progressives cause the most daily damage to people of color. This is in part because white progressives have the most consistent access and adjacency to people of the global majority. You are our bosses, coworkers, in-laws, and friends. You love us, and we love you, but your lack of self-awareness makes you dangerous, like a blindfolded elephant mindlessly swinging its trunk, leaving destruction in your wake. The supreme irony of cross-racial friendships is that the more I care about you, the less inclined I am to point out the racist impact of your words or actions. It’s easy to tell a Trump supporter that Blackness is not a monolith and their use of racially charged stereotypes is harmful

Gays could just as easily create a list of 5 things they wish their hetero friends would stop saying because well meaning heteros can also be unintentionally offensive and hurtful.

"Calling put my allies instead of my enemies" has been called "preaching to the choir" for centuries, because it's been known to be stupid, annoting, lazy, and pointless since, well, the beginning of civilization. If not longer.

It's also doing your real enemies a great big favor.

R9 Words of Wisdom. Since we can only click once - consider this an affirmation.

“Gays could just as easily create a list of 5 things they wish their hetero friends would stop saying because well meaning heteros can also be unintentionally offensive and hurtful.”

Here’s a list.

This is the danger of social media. One person broadcasts their narrow views or perspectives, even extreme positions, and it is taken as “the” way “they” feel. Most of the time it’s just an individual who may stir up some followers.

Things like this get said about gay people—that “they” are overly sensitive and “their” agenda is intrusive (thus all the efforts by elected officials and courts to turn back our rights.)

Most people who listen to Sean Hannity or the other blowhards on Fox know they don’t represent the views of all white people. Just as rappers or social media blowhards don’t represent the views of black Americans.

Since they've never accomplished ANYTHING in their lives, certain people NEED to be FEEL accomplished. They do this by demanding spineless individuals (usually liberals) kowtow to their own dictates of speech. REALLY. That's it.

The author of the white-fragility book (Robin DiAngelo) is amusingly described in this New Yorker article.

R33 - I am watching the Aaron Hernandez doc on Netflix and it was fascinating what this one football player did to do everything to go against gay stereotypes. "Gays are known for being lean and drink martinis so I drank beer and gained so much weight I weighed 347 lbs." This is in high stakes (or steaks in his case) football so I get it.

It's naive, but I think the path to healing is more unity and less separation. I was volunteering one night for an LGBTQ organization and the event was an open conversation titles "Everything Queer POC Hate About White People" - I didn't pay attention to the theme when I was asked to fill in for someone . It was kind of hurtful to hear (more so than I expected), but I understand people need to vent, need spaces they feel safe, and that these issues are real. I wish we could focus on commonalities, what brings us together, our shared experiences vs. separating off. We just aren't in that place right now, I guess.

[quote] Since they've never accomplished ANYTHING in their lives, certain people NEED to be FEEL accomplished. They do this by demanding spineless individuals (usually liberals) kowtow to their own dictates of speech. REALLY. That's it.

This is really about empathy and how we can all be more empathetic and also kinder to the people about whom we care. Only sociopaths or aspiring sociopaths believe that empathy is a weakness. The author made it quite clear that she is talked about friends and loved ones. The question is why would we not want to be better friends. Why would we not want to treat our loved ones better. Being a good friend requires both courage and empathy.

You want to dictate [quote] I wish we could focus on commonalities, what brings us together, our shared experiences vs. separating off. We just aren't in that place right now, I guess.

Regardless of race or ethnicity, only focusing on "commonalities" isn't a realistic strategy for establishing and managing any intimate relationship. If you're going to be more that merely acquaintances; you will encounter conflict. Relationships have conflict. You want to engage with other people and never know what they truly think or feel. Because it will cause conflict. That's how intimate relationships work, platonic or intimate.

In 2020 well meaning people are still saying some of the same offensive things that were being said 40 yrs ago and your solution = oh well lets just not talk about that. You honestly believe that will create something better.

I´m so glad we´re at college together - I totally support affirmative action.

Armie Hammer's use of cocksucker has produced almost 200 replies

I guess we can add cocksucker to the gay list.

R38, fair enough and you are right. I read the article in full and she did say that this was dedicated to friends/loved ones. With my close friends and we are a diverse group in every way, just call each other out with no hard feelings if one of us has said something upsetting. TBH, that rarely happens b/c we know there is real love and a history of friendship there going back to high school. We have equal opportunity to joke about each other as well make self deprecating comments. My best friend likes labels or she'll get an over the top decor piece and we can both joke in unison that it is "so Persian" or maybe a friend will tell me that I am being a bitchy gay. To me there is a safety and comfort to not have to censor myself with my close friends. Hopefully the author feels she can do the same with her group. Most friends circles (not acquaintances or randos) don't need a PSA, there is trust there to navigate these things

R38 "In 2020 well meaning people are still saying some of the same offensive things that were being said 40 yrs ago and your solution = oh well lets just not talk about that. You honestly believe that will create something better." -R38

I don't now what "offensive things" you are referring to. I partially read the link provided by the OP.

Do you know what words are deemed offensive by the author?

Articulate- It is considered racists for a white person to describe a black person as this.

Ravaged- One should not use ravaged like (and this is the author's example) "the tornado ravaged the land" because a sexual assault survivor might be listening and they have a different context or something for the word.

This is what you want? Really? So only black people get to use the word articulate with each...or can Hispanics or Asians use it to compliment a black person? So we now have a defacto segregation with respect to certain words?

Seriously, no one has ever said "you don't talk gay" or "you're not like 'gay-gay'" or "you're not really 'gay'" to any of you?

I've heard similar lines about being (half) Jewish.

And in all cases it was intended as a compliment or at least the person saying it thought they were delivering one

R4, it’s paramount to: “You’re SOO articulate!” Now granted, I usually only hear this from older people, who claim to not be racists, yet everything they say about minorities, indicate otherwise.

Honestly, most of these people have no clue how poorly they come across. It’s somewhat difficult to take them seriously, when they claim to not be racists. How can I genuinely respect someone, who thinks that telling me I’m articulate, is a compliment?

Being biracial, I’ve also been told the shit about not really being black, but really being white, many times. Or the one about “I see no color”. LMAO! Yes, you see no color, which is why you find it so important to make this ridiculous, impossible claim, in the first place.

JFC.

It’s not changing any time soon, not in the US, anyhow. As long as conservatives continue to re-district areas with large populations of African Americans in order to gerrymander votes, people, whites included, will become less well educated, and will continue to hold fast to ignorance.

Ignorance is the mother of all illogical, unsound, and unreasonable beliefs. Ignorance is what corrupt politicians depend upon, in order to garner votes, become elected, and stay in power.

Fuck being “woke”. Being “woke” is BULLSHIT shaped by ignorance, propagated via YouTube.

EDUCATION. If you have it, you won’t have to wonder if you’re “woke” enough, because you understand how to think and process information properly, hence, are already aware enough to understand that telling people of color that they’re actually white, or articulate while being non Caucasian, is NOT complimentary.

P.S., Everyone breathing in and out without intervention, is literally woke, and on a daily basis. Otherwise, they’re dead. Duh.

R43, yes, and I am half Jewish as well, except I'm legit Jewish from my mom's side but have a very goy-ish last name from my dad. My group of Jewish friends have joked about it (you have "Shiksappeal, "you are not really Jewish"), but they are true friends and I either can laugh along or I drop them. The problem with your other example is that I do "talk gay" so sadly nobody has every accused me of seeming not gay but rather are disappointed when I open my mouth and am not the nice, straight, single Jewish boy some girl through I was.

Phrase #6: “Can I touch your hair?”

[quote]Even though I was born in the United States, speak two languages fluently and was a statewide speech and debate champion in high school, somehow it still surprises folx...

Folx? Kind of goes against the point, no? Or is this some new SJW bullshit where they hate the letter 'K' for some unkown reason?

[quote] I don't now what "offensive things" you are referring to. I partially read the link provided by the OP. Do you know what words are deemed offensive by the author? Articulate- It is considered racists for a white person to describe a black person as this. Ravaged- One should not use ravaged like (and this is the author's example) "the tornado ravaged the land" because a sexual assault survivor might be listening and they have a different context or something for the word. This is what you want? Really? So only black people get to use the word articulate with each...or can Hispanics or Asians use it to compliment a black person? So we now have a defacto segregation with respect to certain words?

Perhaps you should reread the article. The article is about 5 phrases that (not 5 words). These are phrases that are offensive not because of an individual word, bust because of the history, the context.

When encountering black people who defy antiquated stereotypes, whites will often express their surprise, commenting on how "articulate" that person is.

White progressives cause the most damage. Ha, look in the mirror as to who causes the most damage. No matter what white people do, blacks will always find fault

[quote] except I'm legit Jewish from my mom's side but have a very goy-ish last name from my dad.

Same. And my first name isn't Jake or Zach or Brandon, lol

It's really sad that you have no life, op.

Who is posting all these race-baiting threads? And why?

[quote] White progressives cause the most damage. Ha, look in the mirror as to who causes the most damage. No matter what white people do, blacks will always find fault

Ha you either didn't read or you didn't comprehend.

Again:

This is really about empathy and how we can all be more empathetic and also kinder to the people about whom we care. Only sociopaths or aspiring sociopaths believe that empathy is a weakness. The author made it quite clear that she is talked about friends and loved ones. The question is why would we not want to be better friends. Why would we not want to treat our loved ones better. Being a good friend requires both courage and empathy.

"I believe that white progressives cause the most daily damage to people of color. "

Anyone who believes that it too stupid to be allowed to speak in public.

White progressives may be as annoying as fuck, but they don't support laws or policies that institutionalize oppression! Her real enemies do.

R52 it's not so much about race as it is the SJW-scolding tone of the article. I don't think there's that many race-baiting threads here, because every thread that mentions black people or has black people in it specifically is accused of being a race baiting thread.

Is this white woman donating the money she makes talking and writing about racism to black people? If she isn’t then she is guilty of exploiting the very group that she claims to be allied with.

"We're having a barbecue for MLK Day!"

Do better!

As a non-black person, the only people who should ever be using "y'all" are southerners and black people. Everybody else using it just sounds stupid.

[quote]the only people who should...

Gee, you really should publish a guide book about what people can use what words.

R60 methinks a "y'all" has slipped betwixt your teeth

R60, working on it.

Well meaning people who chose the "wrong" words now and then should be the least of your problems.

Learn a little tolerance, a little graciousness. You can't expect others to be always perfect or to live up to your standards.

[quote]methinks a "y'all" has slipped betwixt your teeth

I'm Italian. I try to speak English correctly. It's an expression I'd never use.

But tell us more about what people should use what words.

You're fascinating.

I've never said or thought of stating any of that. that someone felt the need to write the article in the first place is a problem

I don't have Black friends

PLEASE F&F the incessant race bait troll OP

It’s been trolling the site for a while now and it’s the same person, often forgetting to clear her cache. Send her to hell. Enough already!

[quote]but harder to explain to my best friend from college why saying ‘you’re not really Black’ isn’t a compliment.

It pains me to think about how many times I have heard this statement in my life.

Or when white people say "But I don't think of you like that.", meaning they don't think of me the same way they think of Black people.

Why would anyone even think to tell someone they're so articulate? That is always going to sound like shade unless that person is a particularly good orator.

The chip lies heavy on your shoulder, Robin diAngelo.

It's always hysterical when white gays are confronted with their racism/the notion of being better allies to black people and respond by... being racist and gaslighting others. Typical bully-victim. Some of you are truly pathetic.

The article raises some good points. But I've got to ask who in hell would ever say to a person that he/she is a strong man or strong woman unless you just witnessed them lift a car up over an accident victim? I mean come on! It also sounds like some trite phrase you night say to a stoic man or woman at the funeral of their spouse or child. And complimenting a person as "articulate" is just plain insulting and stupid. And as for the comment about not really be considered black, well some people are just dumb.

As a gay man, I've been asked my fair share of stupid questions from straight people. I like to have fun with my answers. At work, I often hear that I must know so and so, because he's gay. I just tell them that the person in question must have recently come out of the closet, because he's not in the member book yet. I explain that the "Pink Book" (of course, it's pink) lists all the out gay men in the world, and comes out every June at the start of Pride. Some clueless wonders fall for it.

Then, there's the person from your past whom you've just met after a long stretch of time. Catching up, you tell him or her that you're gay. That person will sometimes say, "Oh, we always knew that you were gay." I always respond. "Oh, I wish you could have aroused me from my ignorance. If you had only acted as the Vanguard of the Gays, I could have broken free from the chains holding me back in the closet and united with all the other gay men of the world!"

Too many stupid people in the world. My response is to shake my head in sorrow and exclaim, "And they shot Lincoln."

R64 it's a different poster, but don't let that interrupt your clever bon mots!

R71 just kill yourself, "white people" troll

Stay pressed, Hunty!

R75, see r74.

So, you're in Ukraine?