What I don't get about people who are non-binary

Who remembers Bunnika, the Queer Enby who was married to two different straight men and a lesbian at the same time?

I'm not non-binary, but I know quite a lot of nb/nb or nb/transgender couples. Most of the nb/cisgender couples I know, the nb person came out after they were in an established relationship, so I guess their partner didn't care. So I think it does happen quite a lot.

The first reason is because they think too highly of themselves to do so. They all believe they look like models and are capable of landing hot straight cis dick at will. The second reason is that they all have issues so they tend to be attracted to men that represent their gender complexes (they're insecure about their own genders so they want to fuck people that represent the stereotypical man or woman).

When that article first came out, it led to my favorite DL thread of 2017. When Meredith herself descended onto the thread to chastise and lecture us for our literal violence, it was like Christmas in June:

They're in a bi -nd.

Because despite being so up their own asses about how sexy and hot non-binary and trans people are, they tend to only be attracted to men who represent a Reagan-era idea of what a man is. It's like reverse-psychology for fucking. Unfortunately for them none of those guys want anything to do with freaks, so as a result they stamp their feet and claim everyone hates them, which is somewhat true.

R6

If they shut the hell up, most people would be indifferent to them, which, to a narcissist, is a fate worse than death.

So, unfortunately, they're never shutting the hell up.

They're delusional, they want to have their cake and eat it too. It's not difficult to understand, OP, it's like the effeminate gay men that walk around in makeup and super revealing and tight clothing and then want to only fuck masc straight dudes. But since you can't have your cake and eat it too, both the femmes and the non-binaries end up with nothing instead of both.

I only know a handful of non-binary people, but all of them except for one are in relationships with other non-binary people.

So I do not know what the hell OP is about.

Thanks for the link, r4. I had not read it in its entirety when it was on the front page of this site.

Meredith is a real piece of work, isn't she? She insists Vaid-Menon and Tobia cannot be expected to date 0one another, because as femme-leaning non-binaries, they prefer masc types--yet while insisting on their individual choices and desires, she completely dismisses that other cis people may not be attracted to them. When anyone presses her as to how that can be fair, she airily directs them to look at readings on "the politics of desire" without explaining any further. And she keeps talking about what she calls her "elite education" as if no one here has one as good as hers (in fact, some of us actually got our Ph.D.s, which she never did--and at schools as good, or even better, than Cornell.)

r9, read the article at the OP since you are so confused.

My absolute favorite quote, from all the gems Meredith dropped in the thread linked at R4, is this one:

[quote]You forget that I used to be a gay man and know the lengths people of your kind go through to get laid.

That one statement, with its palpable resentment, was just so indicative of the attitude Meredith has towards "cis" gay men. Meredith would never say anything like that to (or about) a straight man in a million years, and it proved once again that the ideal partner for these three characters is a "straight"-identifying man; a gay man is simply not going to cut it for them.

I once listened to a podcast where Jacob was a special guest, and in it he stated that he would not date someone who identified as "gay" and not ”queer", because a gay-identifying man wouldn't be turned on by him wearing high heels. For once, he was correct, but he forgets that straight men won't be turned on by that sight either.

[quote] You forget that I used to be a gay man

I love that quote.

It implies (1) that she thinks everyone else is thinking about her all the time and knows her full story, and (2) that you can just change your sex and sexuality if you choose to do so.

Some of the quotes in that linked article are, for lack of a better word, "rapey." They sound like they should be entitled to fuck anyone that they want.

"Jacob and Alok, like many gender nonconforming femmes, live in a world where admirers applaud them for their radical politics on social media, and people they're attracted to associate with them because of their slayworthiness and social capital, but refuse to make love to them, or at least fuck them well."

People are allowed to not want to fuck you for whatever reason! I've had a few crushes on straight guys over the years, but I never felt entitled to fuck them. Hell, I once had strong feelings for another gay man, and he wasn't interested in me. I moved on, like a normal person.

"slayworthiness"??

I've only known two non-binaries personally, both pretty average straight women- but with brightly colored pixie cuts!

For both of them I got the impression that they'd internalized other people's antipathy toward them and were trying to make themselves worth something.

One conveniently discovered her true gender during the midst of an unwanted divorce (her husband left her and refused to reconcile.) Dyed her hair rainbow stripes and announced herself literally the day before their divorce finalized.

Got stalked ala Fatal Attraction by a non-binary once. I really was quite astounded that I was EXPECTED to be attracted to them because of her/its bravery in becoming who she/it really way.

GTFO.

I don’t date people with severe mental health issues

Me every time I run into a trans, genderqueer, non-binary, etc.

What is it about the phrase “non-conforming femme” that just seems so contradictory to me? How can you be femme but also non-conforming? Does “non-conforming” refer to gender and “femme” refer to sexual position? The latter seems more than a bit reductive to me.