What's the point of living?

OP! Imagine your scenario, and I started working from home!!! NO human contact!!! No romantic relationship

But I truly have a great belief in the universe and in my own soul, and that this is part of my soul's journey.

I truly have accepted that my perception of reality is limited, and that I CHOSE and CREATED these circumstances for the evolution of my soul.

And any week where I am near the ocean and can have some wine- I have NO complaints.

Is it pointless? I do not know. I feel deeply, that there are REASONS. And that we all matter. Even in the moments of such darkness.

I agree with you, OP. But I chose to live to alleviate the pain of others. For me, it’s animals. I donate money, volunteer, support animal-friendly businesses, talk with others about it to raise awareness. There are others alive suffering extreme physical pain and terror: perhaps choose whom to help, and take steps everyday to do so.

Good luck in your journey.

OP, I can totally relate to this. And it's true, life is often a struggle especially if you don't have or come from money.

For me, I try to find joy in doing things outside of work. I joined martial arts and met some great people, I played softball, I'm now taking guitar lessons. All of those things do require some $ though and right now the only thing I can really afford is the guitar lessons. I do love spending time with friends and I've enjoyed being in love and loving someone when it happens. But it's rare. Been single for 6 years now and so, I try to see my friends often.

But sometimes, in the quiet moments of the late night, I ask myself these same questions. It seems we've all fallen into the same matrix. We are pretty much just the worker ants who have to fall in line to survive. I wonder how differently we would all be if money wasn't a necessary thing. I would like to think we would have more art and books and just more connection if we didn't have to waste our short lives working to make someone else rich. But until society changes and values things like time, this will just go on and on and on.

R1 here. I live (RENT) in a wealthy seacoast east coast community. And what I have learned from various sources- realtors, etc- even my own piece of shit landlord (I may be one of 50-75 renters in this community of about 10,000) is that MOST of these motherfuckers have INHERITED EVERYTHING (my shitbox house I live in, is an inheritance)

It is a real revelation, when you work your ass off.

Again, I choose to believe in my soul, fate, the universe, ect....

I take my morning jog and run by these 5, 7, 10 million dollar homes and want to kill myself.

But I am really getting better about accepting the pointlessness and that its all RIGGED.

J’adore the Consummate R1, living in the Nest of Vipers.

They ARE vipers R5! I despise them all!!!

(Except the ones to EARNED IT- and there are a few I know of!!)

OP, are you sure that you're not feeling depressed because you're got depression? Because there's treatments for that.

Read "The Outsider" by Colin Wilson OP

I forgot to mention: I also adopt homeless animals, and I spend a lot of time caring for them. It’s been very rewarding for me and gives me a lot of joy and peace.

OP, the question really is, knowing there is no point beyond maintaining the daily drudgery- why keep doing it? Habit? Fear? Depression? Figure out the answer to this question and you will see a way forward. Not that any chosen way forward will ultimately change a thing, well maybe for 5% of those who try to make a change- But you will have at least some sense of exhilaration and intense emotion before the scheme collapses in ruins. The world is set up so us widgets keep spinning the wheel. Very few ever escape

Jesus would like to have a word with you, OP.

R2, May the universe bless you. WONDERFUL post.

As I read your post, OP, I thought of this new song. Maybe it’ll give you some comfort.

No matter how completely I parse the situation I call my life, OP, I cannot come to any other conclusion than that my parents should never have had children.

OP, this is a question everyone asks themselves if they have a questioning mind and have all basic needs met (Maslow's Hierarchy). It does not mean they necessarily suffer from depression. IMO, asking the question is more important than the answer, because it shows that you have a willingness to explore possibilities of what that meaning might be! And if you find an answer in your 20s, you may ask the same question again in your 30s, and so on...because things change - our values and perceptions change just as the environment around us changes, as we move through stages of life and experience things. Go beyond your question to examine WHY you are asking the question, and you may find an answer!

Cause my dogs maybe would eat me if they found me dead?

....

Why not sell everything you have and become a nomad? Have an adventure every day!

I feel.the same way OP, I had a lot more enthusiasm when I was younger but now I'm 50 and I just feel miserable

None of you have an inner life. Your own doing, how sad.

Give it ten more years and misery just turns tino feeling numb. It's some kind of progress, not caring

You need to try to find some happiness and a social life for your free time. Maybe get a dog even

The grind of life is tough on everyone.

The only real point is to keep the human species going.

Actually having an inner life is what raises these questions, noting the difference between the world inside our heads and the 'real'. Or by inner life do you mean psychosis and addiction R21

My father checked out of society when I was in my teens. He sold everything he owned, including the house, bought a boat and decided to sail the world. Unfortunately, he didn't realize the expense and was back working in his job (as a shrink) within three years. If you have no hope, you're going to have to create something that helps you live. If you have no love in your life and no hope of finding it, look elsewhere. And don't be bitter because others have money. Chances are they are in the same, um, boat.

R24 That is a load of crap since it is mainly poor trash that breeds. Smart, good looking, well educated people with superior genes don't breed. They are smart enough not to want to subject any poor fetus to this hell.

R27 will be starting his own "What's the point of living?" thread in ...3...2...1

9-5 office jobs are for people with dependents. If you are alone, why would you choose to live like this? Get out there and enjoy life.

[quote] The only real point is to keep the human species going

I would never do that to someone else.

I have never reproduced for the sole reason of never wanting to inflict this miserable existence onto someone else.

Especially when they never asked for it.

[quote] If you are alone, why would you choose to live like this? Get out there and enjoy life.

Spoken like someone with money.

The rest of us have to battle the daily grind, just to have a roof over our head, and food in our mouth.

Well OP, how would there be more meaning to it all if you owned one of the 5, 7 or 10 million houses?

Create soething. Make it beautiful Make it be a lasting gift to humanity. Poetry. Art. Music. A heart-breakingly beautiful novel.

Altenatively, help someone. Volunteer in a soup kitchen. FInd a chuch who needs voluntees. Visit people in the hospital. Cultivate love.

ALL of those things will release oxytocin in your brain. And dopamine. And make you feel like there is meaning to life.

It’s hard, very hard, and we will never know “the reason” because life doesn’t work that way. It has purpose where we work at it but the cosmic rationale, if there is one, is not something we are given to know. I am not from money either and had a difficult childhood with absentee parents. As an adult, I made it my priority to create a safe, clean and functional environment and find a loving relationship. And I was quite singleminded in pursuit of those things, and eventually found them. I honestly think the biggest reason I did, though, was I truly believed I could, and would. I guess what I am saying is that you will experience life as more meaningful and pleasurable if you try to hold a positive attitude. I still don’t have money, btw, and I agree feeling cash strapped constantly is stressful and discouraging. But there are plenty of miserable rich people in the world, too.

[quote] how would there be more meaning to it all if you owned one of the 5, 7 or 10 million houses?

#1 You wouldn't have the constant threat of homelessness hanging over your head, in case you lost your shitty job, and couldn't pay your shitty rent to your shitty landlord.

#2 You wouldn't have to worry about where your next meal is coming from, in case you lost your shitty job.

#3 You wouldn't have to worry about health care, or dental care, or vision care, in case you lost your shitty job.

#4 You could actually enjoy life, take a breath, walk along the beach, go for a hike, travel, etc., like rich people get to do all the time. Without having to work at a shitty job.

Please don't make me go on. Especially because you're clearly out of touch with average people, R31.

I can tell you definitely what is NOT the point of living. Working in a cubicle staring at a screen all day. Go work on a cruise ship, join the circus, be a roadie. All those office jobs are to provide stable income to breeders.

This book has some good answers. Worth a read, over and over.

Have you considered becoming an alcoholic?

Suck if up OP. Most men live lives of quiet masturbation.

Life is earth is only temporary, some of us are here longer than others. It is eternal life with the Lord that is truly important. Nevertheless, we must do our best while we are here until the day the Lord calls us home.

OP: I identify with you. Have struggled with depression always. I’m stable on meds; I see a therapist once a week.

If you are considering suicide drive yourself to the hospital now.

I had a long term marriage, we adopted two kids who are now adults. Ten years ago my husband revealed he was pan-sexual, not gay. He wanted out so there go 36 years of my life.

There are some things you don’t get over but just manage. I woke up crying today, listening to Gloomy Sunday ( drama queen here). Thirty minutes later forced myself to get out of the house doing nonsensical errands.

Returned several hours later. If I didn’t have children I would kill myself. But I can’t be such a monster to my kids

If THE LORD helps...Ok I guess

I am an extreme introvert and I often feel like life is pointless. Rather than commit suicide I think I would like to go to the cloister to live out my days in silence. Threads like this let me feel like I am not alone. Thanks, OP.

Marry me, R37.

I think everything is interesting. I'm poor, so I can't enjoy 'the better things in life'. But I think it's so cool to be a resident of planet Earth in the year 2020.

I'll be dead a long time. No hurries.

I'm the same as you OP. Whether it's depression or not, it's a valid question.

I used to have so much hope and optimism when I was younger; now I am older and more jaded and disillusioned. I try to keep up hope but it's not the same. I don't want to die or commit suicide but I find life has become more joyless.

I try to do new things or find new things to keep life interesting and less predictable. Less of a grind.

Really, r29?

Office workers don’t have to feed themselves or have professional interests?

R22 your post could have been so funny. How depressing this thread is.

There IS no point Op. Congratulations!

Hey fellas, Dolly has some advice for you ... and you ... and you ...

The OP sounds like he's depressed. He should get some help for that. Because there are the little joys in life that make it worth living. I like having a good meal, spending time with people I like, reading a good book, seeing a good movie, listening to good music. Perhaps the OP should read the last act of "Our Town" and learn something from the newly dead Emily's goodbye speech, where she says farewell to the things she loved on earth:

"Goodbye. Goodbye, world. Goodbye, Grover's Corners...Mama and Papa. Goodbye to clocks ticking...and Mama's sunflowers. And food. And coffee. And new ironed dresses and hot baths. And sleeping...and waking up. Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you!"

[quote] How depressing this thread is.

Only because it's so true.

Look at me, a privileged white mammal who likes to complain just about everything. You would’ve prob killed yourself if you were an immigrant who is poor, speaks English as a 2nd language, works as a cleaner and is treated like a dog, wouldn’t you? Fuck you.

Really, r33?

No rich people work? They all inherited it and none of them work with the money they were born into?

You’re not just cynical or ignorant. You’re a defeatist and a hater who wants to make excuses for himself.

Just find something to love and cultivate it. Try taking the attitude that you’re capable for a couple of years instead of incapable.

What I don't like is that you have to be prepared to fight all the time. It seems so unnecessary.

You should try escorting OP. I would pay extra for the "Amitriptyline Experience".

I’m with OP! Depression is a bitch.

[R51] If the OP were what you describe he wouldn't be aware of how shitty this white mammal "privileged" life is. He would just be an angry reptile like you. So, fuck you and your overuse of the white privilege canard.

I work in an office. I stare at a screen. I like it!

Some great responses here. Life is suffering. In modern life, that’s corporate slavery. It used to be trying to find enough food for the family. Now it’s paying rent - and an internet connection.

I’m the child of poor immigrants who literally starved and had no indoor plumbing. My corporate life sucks and is filled with sociopaths - but I try to remember how much worse so many people have it. Even though I’m inundated with images of people who seem to have so much more, in reality so many more have little or nothing and are scraping by.

When I feel that life is meaningless, I have a nice wank, or I fuck a cute ass, and then I feel better.

The point of living is that you're not dead, you are alive, and that there are some great things that come with being alive.

Food, entertainment, friends, knowledge, compassion, love etc. Sure, there is a lot of horror in the world but we only get one chance at life so we might as well be grateful and appreciative of what we have unless you're in a cage on the Mexican border or something.

Look for things to be grateful for, be kind to others, and find pleasure in small things. Find things to laugh about, build friendships and connections.

Our lives will all end soon enough, some a lot sooner than expected, why not seek comfort and pleasure while you can.

The point of living is to watch funny things on Youtube.

This is a question more suited for rabbits, deer, cows etc. The point of their lives is they are food for humans or prey for predators. At least as humans we don't have to worry about a lion around every corner about to pounce. We actually get to live a long time rather than run fast and frightened all the time.

So, the point of living is to be grateful that your chances of being pounced on by a creature with long teeth and torn asunder are pretty slim.

R61 is exactly right.

CAT VIDEOS!

Meowy we must agree.

Relish having good health. Chronic illness and suffering will make you long for these days when you were complaining for no reason.

Do something with your hands (after masturbation is done). That sometimes helps me. Some small task, not on the computer.

This is why the dark-skinned folks will inherit the U.S. They work their drudge jobs so they can go home to their extended families, throw some Aldi meat on the grill and toss the ball for the kiddies.

Whites have existential crises, feelings of inadequacy and live lives of quiet desperation.

Beauty.

Once you lose your health, you just have those long days till death. But if you feel well enough to do a few things, it's something.

Why waste your time being jealous? It's nice if you can leave your kid something. Everyone in my family is poor or lower middle class. It was nice when long time employees had something to look forward too, a pension.

R67, why make this racial out of the blue? How toxic.

I spent a number of years as my parents'primary caregiver (Dad = Alzheimer's, Mom - Emphysema). For a number of years, I tried to work, until I finally had to quit my job when their needs became full-time. I was eventually able to return to work, but I had no personal life, and gained a lot of weight, My parents died a few months apart, and I felt that I had lost everything. Then my older brother, my ex-BF and a couple of my co-workers all stepped up to try to fill the void for me. It wasn't the same, of course. The feeling of being needed was very important to me, and I didn't know I would miss it. Now, I try to be a good brother and a good friend to my friends, and I feed the feral cats and donate to various charities.

There's just so much bullshit that we have to put up with that it's draining.

The bullshit of having to work a 9-to-5 job when your whole days is almost entirely defined by that job and the toxic personalities you have to work with (maybe today you'll be lucky and that cunt who calls in sick every other day will show up to work so you don't have to do it for her). And you're relieved to go home at 5... when it's dark outside.

The bullshit of working hard and not getting the promotions and still struggling to pay the rent and get by, and having to go into work Monday morning with that fake smile because you need the money. More bullshit.

The bullshit of putting in so much effort, time and money into friendships and when things are down, where are they? Then going to parties where said friends are attending and they talk about bullshit but never really ask how their "friend" really is. More bullshit.

Then the bullshit of having to go into the world each morning and dealing with the bullshit of rude and selfish people. Opening doors for others who quickly walk by and don't even say thank you or even look at you. People budding in lines in front of you. People not letting you get off the subway before charging past you with their groceries. People sitting in the seat behind you on the bus, speaking and squawking on their cell phone with no regard for those around them. Pressing the button on the crosswalk only to have three cars race by almost killing you.

We go through all these vivid tangible emotional episodes with the added hell of making strong connections with others. Build our "lives" with work and friendships etc just to have the lights suddenly turned off and we whatever we become turns back to stardust and none of this shit will be remembered or matter. It is a waste. A sick cosmic joke. To me the human experience is a hell. Just knowing we are terminal and all this strife and toil and love and hate means nothing in the end

I've been wondering this more and more lately. Perspective like R74's is helpful and at the same time, depressing. In the end we are just organisms on a rock in space. One day we and the rock will be gone and nothing will matter, not the art, not the food, not our experiences.

On a personal level, the grind of 9 to 5 corporate life is just too much some days...plus the assholes. I dream of ditching it, but for what I have no idea. I have no job security as it is, despite the good income. Added to that is that now, in my mid 40s, new experiences are few and far between. I'd like to make new friends but people seem so guarded and are quick to 'cancel' people on minor differences.

I ease the angst by being kind to most people I come across and taking care of myself. I agree with others in this thread that old age is long. 40 more years of this? No thank you.

I like the holographic universe idea. That we're all just a light show.

Wow @ at 9to5 Corp people complaining here. Just fucking quit ur job and work as a cashier, toilet cleaner, or as a cook then. Fuck u. Kill yourself asshole

It really annoys the fuck out of me that you all know our society is corrupt and unjust and yet do nothing to try to change it. You aren’t powerless to fix it. Granted, on your own, one of you alone is not going to make a difference in bettering our world. However, as a collective of elder gays, you do have significant numbers to force change on those who create the inequalities that keep everyone trapped in the slog that is the 9 to 5 work world.

Why do you think rich people hate unions so much? Because they are effective at benefiting the working person and get shit done (such as having a 9 to 5, rather than working 12-15 hour days). Why do you think rich people hate class action lawsuits? Same reason. Collective action gets results or you wouldn’t see such efforts to repress it here and around the world.

You want a point for living? Then use the tools that you all have at your disposal (collective action and the withholding of your labor) to shut down the cog that operates our corporate society. It will require personal sacrifice and struggle, but if you hold out long enough, the rich will give in and be forced to give up more of their wealth. That way, society can fund people to do things other than staring at a computer screen for days on end.

I’m not jaded like the lot of you, though I am cynical. I believe that when people realize what they can really do to stand up to our corrupt leaders and have nothing to fear any longer, then they’ll do it and things will improve. Even if you don’t want to do this for younger people, you at least owe it to yourselves to say that you tried to improve your collective lot in life before your time ran out. Until you all come to this collective realization, however, expect more of these types of threads on the DL.

I totally agree in sentiment, though not in tone, with R78 and sweet R2.

Get involved in something that you find intellectually or emotionally bracing. Start going to your local democrat meetings, get involved in a cause (whichever interests you), volunteer at an animal shelter. Make friends with people who do these things--they are changing the world, bit by bit, and you can, too.

I’ve found disconnecting from politics and materialism has helped me be happier. Trump has made the world a dark place - and the news is spreading that misery. I worked hard for change in my youth. I’m not going to let my later years be ruined by the failures of the masses. I’m focusing on my garden, those I love and spending as little as possible.

Ask the dead how they feel about it.

I had so many friends die from HIV in the 80's; people who got the rug pulled out from under them in their 20's and 30's. They'd have loved to see the internet and better still, combination therapies.

Living is enjoying oneself, either in the job, at home etc. Yeah it does get to be slightly monotonous but sometimes you can break the chain. Live for those moments.

"People budding in lines"

Oh, dear...

I’d disagree that living is “enjoying”. I would say living is accepting. It’s the only way I’ve found a modicum of peace.

I'm just existing. Mostly because if I stopped existing, my parents would be very upset. When they go in the next decade, I'll take care of their estate, then work to dispose of mine, and then seek a quiet exit.

Because I see no point in going on. I would have stopped a while ago if I didn't think it would hurt my parents unnecessarily.

OP I think about this all the time.

I'm only here to take care of my mother and when she's gone, short of winning the lottery and being able to live the life I always wanted, I'll have no reason to exist.

I've decided that the day after her funeral, I'm killing myself. The first five decades have been miserable, I don't want to live another 20 or thirty years.

R86

My goal in life is to wake up tomorrow. As soon as I open my eyes, my day begins in victory.

The rest is garnish.

It may sound trite but live in the moment. Enjoy now it's all we have.

One consistent theme: caring for parents leads to depression and misery. I’m doing the same but see how it’s a dangerous and ultimately unsatisfying life that just leaves you isolated and alone in your own elder years. Like the Bettyville author. I’m taking steps to minimize my devotion/guilt to caring for mother - because I see how destructive it is for so many gay men.

To live is a rare privilege. Consider the odds of life at all. You get to experience good food, beauty, music and hopefully love. The alternative is a big nothing. Obviously you grew up in a place that gave you the opportunity to post your pity party on DL. You are educated and fed. Stop whining and appreciate the gift you have been given. Try to give your life meaning. Help others, get a pet to care for. Get outside of yourself.

Here's one point to living:

Does life need a point?

Isn't this question simply the self examination of human sentience?

There is no point. Be good to yourself. Be kind to others.

If I was a slob who sat in front of the TV wasting my life I'd have no right to complain.

But I worked, I took chances, I tried to live my life and failed at everything.

It really feels like we're all predestined to certain lives and my life was meant to be filled with failure and being a care giver for family members.

Maybe if I was more mercenary, or a narcissist or a sociopath who only cared about myself life would have been different.

But I've always been soft and spineless and easily quilted into things.

I am where I am mostly because of my own decisions.

There is no meaning. There is no greater purpose. Life is hard, you try a lot, and then you die. Most people have both normal minds and environments, so they can cope with this. They consider larger questions of purpose, but they satiate themselves with religion or family or some hobby.

But a few of us see beyond the pale. Something doesn’t work “right” with us. We either end up on the street, in an institution...or taking the leap to find peace on our own terms. We’re not compatible with life.

I hope you’re one of the normal ones, as they at least find fleeting happiness.

I am a caregiver to my 90 yo mom.

I take her to every doctor's appointment and listen to everything she is told.

Genetically we are similar so she is giving me a road map on how to age.

Love the old gal.

Happiness is fleeting by definition. That's why it is to be cherished. I strive for contentment as a life goal.

OP, the point of living is to be of service to other people. That can’t be all you do, but it’s the most fulfilling thing you can do.

The problem is our fear of death. If society didn't stigmatize suicide and promote death as something awful, we would all feel better and less trapped.

OP - you have it exactly backwards. You laid out a very negative view of life and said that it was the cause of your depression. But your depression is what’s causing the doom & gloom. Not the other way around.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Take R98 s advice. She offers up her gunt to any man who will take it. Even homeless or limbless war vets.

When I read about an 8 year old kid having a Youtube channel that made $26 million last year I ask myself why I'm here. It's a fucking joke, like I exist merely to witness the absurdity of life, one that I'll never be able to participate in. With each passing day I believe the virtual reality theory of life more and more. This cannot be real, it's too fucking ridiculous to be real.

Reading all these posts of the burdens the ancient elderly place on their loved ones I really want to check out in my 60's. Even if my health is good. I'm one stroke or heart attack or malignant cell way from total dependence. I won't have it. The average life span of a human in "the wild" is 37.5 years. For various reasons we have extended it to the absurd length of 75 +. My mother in law lived to 92 yr her last 8 years in a semi coma with someone having to wipe her ass. Why? Longevity has it's place but 90 fucking years old! Not my cuppa.

January blahs. Me too.

R102, there are also 8-year olds dying now in sadder parts of the world. You’re not special.

The goldfish in the bowl does not know why he is there or how he got there. The fish lives its life- and when the fish dies, only the owner of the fish is aware if there was purpose or not. The fish knows nothing.

r102, you were one of billions of sperm sent to fertilize an ova in your mother.

Life is random.

My grandmother died two years ago at the age of 105.

She was totally, absolutely miserable for the last 15 years of her life and openly wished to be dead.

I took the lesson -- if it turns out I'm cursed with the same longevity, I'll have a nice bottle of champagne and a Nembutal handy right around age 70-80, depending.

[quote]Does life need a point?

Nope. But some people seem desperate to find this meaning. There is no meaning. You live, you die.

Do your best to find some happiness and laughs. Your job should support the rest of your life, you have to find some sort of life outside of work.

R105 just as the 8 year old making $26 million had nothing to do with me, an 8 year old dying in another part of the world has nothing to do with me. My life is miserable enough without having to suffer with guilt about someone else's existence.

You know what my father would say: "You have a point there -- but if you comb your hair cleverly, you can conceal it."

R109 Unfortunatley with the shredding of the safety net in the states "retirement" age for me is 67 years. They expect , want,need for you to die at your desk.

Well I don't know what the point of life is during the first half but the point of life in the last half is ...

revenge.

So what's the glory in livin'

Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore

And if love never lasts forever

Tell me, what's forever for

[quote] I had so many friends die from HIV in the 80's; people who got the rug pulled out from under them in their 20's and 30's. They'd have loved to see the internet and better still, combination therapies.

25 years ago, my 33 year old friend lost her battle with breast cancer. She left a 4 year old and 7 year old. Now they are adults who grew up without a mother and they don't really remember her at all. I have sometimes wished that I could have given my life for hers. She would have given anything to still be here.

So many of my beautiful friends died in their twenties during the worst times of the AIDS crisis. Not one of them wanted to die and they would all happily trade places with you OP.

Ditto R115. Having two siblings with young children die of cancer before 50, I often bargained with God to take me. Life is brutally unfair and cruel. But it ends in a flash. Just accept.

Watch this before offing yourself OP =

Lol R118

Several years ago I escaped from what is left of my extremely dysfunctional family, but I waited until both parents had passed away. After decades of struggling and failing to establish healthy human relationships, I established a little family of my own - two dogs and a cat. Last year within a three-week time frame, I lost two of those pets. I've been in an emotional tailspin ever since. My doctor told me people lose pets all the time, so join a support group and deal.

I promised to take care of my remaining dog for the rest of his life. He is a goofball and makes me laugh every day. If he passes from old age, I will be too old to care for another pet, and most likely too old to keep working - I’m already making a lot of short-term memory mistakes at my current job. Unemployed, with no pets to love, and possibly dependent on abusive eldercare workers = time to check out.

Damn, you bitches are scaring me.

Let's start a Golden Girls commune for Eldergays (and Elderhags like me)! Lots of pointless bitching over cheesecake in the middle of the night sounds like a great reason to live a while longer. We can have a monthly "checkout" ceremony for those ready to go. One whiff of Cheryl's pussy and it's over! What say you, ladies??

Seriously, why hasn't gay senior care happened? It's not for everyone or everywhere, but there are urban areas with sufficient populations to make it at least seem like a reasonable (and so, in the US anyway, profitable) proposition. And it's never happened. Why?

I have no idea what sorts of laws or policies r78 thinks will stop people from working on computers 9 to 5, or why he thinks everyone has the same, shitty attitude toward it.

Some people enjoy working with computers and the simplicity and efficiency they bring, reducing workloads.

Do you want to work without computers again? Do you want to do all the math with a pencil and make lots of errors and increase your workload or something?

WTF

Jesus, I would hate to own a brain like the OP's. He takes no pleasure in reading, writing, conversation, or in the natural world around him. Gets no joy from planning trips to the coast, from hooking up, from romance, from pets, from cooking and eating.

OP, your serotonin levels have bottomed out. Get to the psych doctor, hoe.

r123 I dearly wish it would. I suspect there are informal gay retirement homes, though.

1972: death penalty repealed in California. Death sentences commuted to life with parole.

1976: California adopts life without parole (LWOP) sentencing.

Sorry, wrong thread!

R124 Enjoy it while it lasts.

R120. There are volunteer organizations which let you bring shelter animals to shut ins. Please look into it. Buona fortuna fratello in Bracci .

R123, I have always thought that would be a lucrative idea. A senior home for homos. "Golden Girls" streaming all day long. Each day a different diva's movies and/or concerts would screen -- Bette Mondays, Judy Garland Tuesdays, Cher Wednesdays, Barbra Thursdays and Diana Ross Fridays. Live cabaret with open mic. Game night. Drag shows. Go-go boys. Occasional dinners out. Some hiking or bowling.

Let's do it.

Disrupt your routine, meet people. You sound depressed. I wish you well, OP.

It HAS happened, r123, in places like Palm Springs.

That whole city, as a matter of fact, is a gay retirement home and HIV treatment center.

You’re supposed to live in hell AFTER you die, r131.

This video could be helpful

As well as this one.......

R131 We'll call it the Old Coast

r120, you can always look into adopting a senior pet from a shelter. A lot of senior dogs and cats are abandoned at shelters because their owner either don't want or can't afford to care for them. There is a guy on Instagram who goes by @wolfgang2242. He had a dog he loved named Wolfgang and the dog was hit by a car and died. He couldn't get over his grief, so one day he went to the nearest shelter and adopted the oldest dog there. He vowed to give this dog the best remaining years of his life. And then that dog turned into two, then three and now he has this menagerie of senior animals, cats, dogs, pigs, chickens, a turkety, etc.

So no matter how old you are, remember you don't need a puppy, but maybe your purpose could be to do something similar to wolfgang.

I have recently rediscovered the will to live after adopting a puppy. But now I have the dread and terror about what I will do after that day that is hopefully many, many years in the future. I don’t think I will be able to go on, especially if my mother is gone by then

R139 =

I know it sounds trite, but connecting with nature helped me a lot, especially getting out with a camera and doing some easy hikes. Photography is a great hobby to get you out of your head and discover nature's infinite wonders. Do it now before the whole planet is destroyed. Or find some other creative outlet. Express yourself!

Nature walks are a wonderful treatment. Works for me better than CBT, meditation, talk therapy. I moved to a house near woodlands because it’s so important for my mental health to be walk in nature.

I look at homeless people and wonder what keeps them going. If I became homeless would I be able to deal with that and be willing to do everything I could to survive, or would I just try to kill myself? I don't know. Their will to live must be tremendous.

OP - start playing around with hallucinogens. Small doses. Shrooms, LSD. Also MDMA. See if ketamine injections are available in your city. You’re asking a logical question that doesn’t really have a logical answer because it’s clear you just don’t feel awesome being human. All of us go through this sometimes but if it’s been months or years since you’ve had any sort of satisfaction with life, it’s time to take some action and start thinking differently and doing some things differently, including balancing out The chemicals in your brain in order to feel good. 10 years from now, the antidepressants that people take will be based on the list above. The pharmaceutical industry tried with the family of drugs currently available, but they really don’t stack up against a solid dose of shrooms or A ketamine injection. (I’ve never done ketamine in any form, and I cannot afford the injections that I know rich people are getting in my city from doctors, it costs a few hundred dollars per session and they feel awesome for about a month.)

Take up canasta.

The point of living is to transcend the destructive seduction of this world and to realize that there is a reality higher and greater than our small minds can grasp.

For help with grasping a reality or power greater than yourself, check out some NASA snaps. This always helps put ME into perspective.

Life will always seem pointless if you constantly operate and live from your ego rather than a position of dignified humility.

The help:

R103 really got me thinking. Many of those Western monarchs & gurus of the ancient past described as living to a ripe old age died peacefully in their 50s & 60s, accomplished and satisfied and perfectly ready to go. Warriors in their 40s who died in battle were thought hale and over the hill. Many poor families bore their last children (of many) in their late 20s then died themselves of exhaustion or disease or famine under two decades later (well, little change then to now, to be fair...).

It’s only in the last 200-250 years in the West that expectations about longevity have changed. Now we extend our youth and our old age but in so doing diminish our prime to less than 20 years. We desperately try to stay dewy and vital, but why? Our lives lack the urgency, excitement, passion and mystery of our forebears. There must be a better third way to exist...

I've circumvented such existential angst by living a minimalist life. I congratulate myself if I manage to spend $0.0 each day that I manage to. I live a monastic life and greatly appreciate the smallest of blessings. This life choice has allowed me to avoid the rat race and to stop acquiring STUFF/trash one never ever needed in a good life. I have little stress and do not have to grovel or appease anyone. I have no debt and will inherit my parents' home for my autistic son.

An old and cold adage: "You can't take it with you." Everything you own in this life is leased.

I've reached a point where nothing seems to induce any enjoyment other than a couple of glasses of wine. After years of staying in a place I despised due to personal obligations, I had the opportunity to do some modest traveling in the last couple of years. I had some moments of enjoyment but I couldn't shake the thought of how much more this would have meant 10 years ago. I just felt mostly numb like years of being trapped rewired my brain. I'm going to try taking another trip in the next month or so but there's no real joy. It just feels like something I should force myself to do after being trapped for so long.

Want something, Robert. Want. Some. Thing.

Oops.

R148 the people who want to live forever are the people terrified of death.

I'm 59 and looking forward to dying. Whether afterward is heaven or oblivion. No more being around and dealing with humanity. I generally despise people.

To evolve.

To make things better for others(People/Animals/Planet).

A Beatnik Poem

R149 People like you inspire me. R146 here.

There isn't one. But we are all too dumb, too afraid or too egoistical to kill ourselves.

R158 Very true. The ones who talk constantly of "going out on my own terms" never do. My uncle whining for 30 yrs " "I'm going to blow my brains out".I told him the pistol is in the dresser drawer. The nasty old bastard lived to 89 yr and died in his sleep.

The only reason life has to have a "point" is our human minds can't imagine that we aren't particularly special.

You don't have any more of a point than the ant that just crawled across the table.

You will live; you will die. The earth and universe will eventually die to.

SO what do you do in the mean time? The Buddhists have it right: Live the median path; nothing too extreme..and life will be good

Millie got it right.

I agree with r142. I love being by nature. I never thought I wanted to live in the country but I wouldn't mind now. Maybe I'm just a bitch and anti-social but I love the quiet solitude of nature. Not having to deal with the riff raff of public transit, people heading to jobs they hate.

"Unless you are incredibly rich (or even reasonably comfortable), or you've met the love of your life and you're totally fulfilled, there doesn't seem to be much point to it."

You have a really BAD attitude. You need to work on that. That's what's making you unhappy, your skewed way of thinking and looking at things. It's all in your head. But there's help for that, if you seek it out.

How is it a bad attitude if it's actually reality?

Depressives actually have a more realistic view of life. I’ve learned willful denial (aka, optimism) is a good thing. It goes against every “logical” bone in my body but I’ve needed to learn how to expect the best/see the bright side in order to appreciate life. Requires intentional shift in outlook - which admittedly isn’t rational.

"How is it a bad attitude if it's actually reality?"

It's a distorted reality. The OP thinks life is not worth living unless you're "incredibly rich/reasonably comfortable" or "have met the love of your life and are "totally fulfilled." Do you know how many people in this world aren't well off or madly in love or "totally fulfilled?" I'd say there are lots of them. Should they all commit suicide?

I've seen human interest stories of people who are fighting disease, are maimed or crippled in some, way, are severely disabled. And they believe life is worth living. Here's just one example: Carmen Tarleton.Her ex-husband attacked her, beat her with a baseball bat, raped her with it, and then poured industrial strength lye all over her. She was left blinded and horribly disfigured. To repair her mutilated face she had a face transplant. She's had surgery after surgery and suffered incredible pain. Her face transplant now appears to be failing. But she hasn't given up hope; she's willing to do whatever can be done medically to help her live a better life. For her, life is worth living. She said "It's difficult, but I'm the ultimate optimist. I have a lot still to do. I've got grandchildren and I want to learn to play the guitar. I want to be around. I'm not ready to cash it in." She has the right attitude.

My God, R166...

What an incredibly horrifying yet ultimately inspiring story.

I can’t/

R166 I don't get the whole:"why are complaining, some people have it a lot worse than you?" advice. How should someone dying from cancer, starvation, being crippled etc. make you feel good about yourself? It's not even remotely connected to your life. If anything, knowing something like that should make one feel even more sad and depressed.

Something like 90% of elderly people are on anti-depressants. Try hallucinogens instead! Or both with doctors direction.

Bacon is the point of living. Have some.

Just another example of a professional victim.

If you thought half as much of others as you do yourself, you wouldn't have this problem.

Newsflash: The world doesn't revolve around you. You can bitch and moan or you can ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Of course you won't, that would be too much like work. You'd rather moan and cry and let all the others here tell you how oppressed you are.

I was watching an interview with a disabled woman who's an advocate for disabled people and opposes euthanasia.

She said if an able bodied person walked into a doctor's office and said they wanted to die they'd be put on suicide watch. But if a disabled person said the same thing the doctor would say they could arrange it within two weeks. Her argument was that the medical community values able bodied people over disabled people.

All I could think was why, as an able bodied person, can I not end my life when I want to?

If I'm mentally stable and I decide I don't want to exist anymore, why am I not permitted to get help in ending my life? Not everyone who wants to die is depressed, some of us are just fed up and want out.

Suicide has been an option for many. I was there at one point in my life, but sought help, got on antidepressants, and now look forward to every day. It can turn around if you want it to!

" I don't get the whole:"why are complaining, some people have it a lot worse than you?" advice. How should someone dying from cancer, starvation, being crippled etc. make you feel good about yourself? It's not even remotely connected to your life. If anything, knowing something like that should make one feel even more sad and depressed.

The point is this: count your blessings. Your life could be much worse, but if you're dissatisfied with it get off your ass and do something about it instead of whining about how bad life is.

Hearing about someone like Carmen Tarleton doesn't make me feel depressed or sad. I feel bad that she had to suffer the way she has but I admire her strength and resilience and determination to continue lying despite all her difficulties. Hearing about people like her gives me hope.

Telling a depressed person “cheer up, snap out of it” is counterproductive. Perseverance and acceptance - everything changes and we have little control over the world. Just one speck in the massive universe passing through.

To suck as many dicks as possible.

I truly feel like I'm doing God's work. The services I provide for immigrants means they don't have to waste their money on prostitutes so they can send money to their family. Just yesterday I sucked off 2 guys who were about to spend their money on a junkie whore. I did them for free then I gave the whore 10 bucks. Win/win/win

I Hope You Dance =

Live Like You Were Dying =

Can I have your stuff?

Normal brain scan vs depressed brain scan =

If you do decide on suicide then please leave a note. I have a friend who killed himself and left no note and his parents were devastated. We all just wished he would have said goodbye and that he loved us. I predicted he would kill himself, and there was nothing anyone could do anymore. Just a quick goodbye and thank you would have been nice.

I've read several biographies of Janis Joplin (one was released recently). By the OP's standards she certainly had a life worth living. She was rich, famous and adored by her fans. She was having lots of sex, with both male and female partners. She traveled the world and met interesting, famous people. And yet she was, as one friend put it, "miserable...so very miserable." So miserable she turned to heroin and alcohol to numb herself. Joplin had a good friend, Linda Gravenites, a clothes designer who designed some of Joplin's costumes. Gravinites said this: "Janis said the funniest thing. She said "Linda, how can you be so happy? You don't have anything!" I didn't but I WAS happy, and I said, "Janis is a subjective attitude and what you choose to pay attention to. I have friends. I have what I do. What MORE do I need?" Janis didn't seem to understand at all!" I would say the OP doesn't understand at all, either.

Comparison is the enemy of happiness.

"Life always matters very much,"

OP, stick around to find out how Nov 2020 goes.

R176 Not everyone is a whore like you are

I think that life is literally just more uncomfortable and painful for some of us. like we are too constitutionally sensitive and not as strong as those who are able to find fulfillment in living even though terrible things have happened to them. for me, life has always felt too bright and visceral. I am way too aware of everything, and it's exhausting. for people similar to myself, changing one's outlook would have no effect on how their bodies experience the world in the first place so suggestions to shift your mindset are kind of ridiculous...

R187 Mind over matter, toots.

R4, Your posting could have been written by me. Are you in Massachusetts by any chance?

I agree we all have different “set points” of happiness, sensitivity, predilection for depression. But I’ve found the challenge in life is making the best with what we’ve got.

My husband is eternally optimistic, unworried, happy - it’s almost biological. Sleeps well, doesn’t get sick, rarely depressed. I’m the opposite. But I’ve learned from him behaviors/ha it’s that happy people have. By imitating those, I’ve made myself happier. A big part of it is living in denial of all the horrible things that can and do happen. Not fearing what may happen, assuming the best rather than the worst. While it’s illogical, I’ve seen that it makes you happier. And life is better when you’re happier - so whatever tricks, deceptions, and lies you need to tell yourself to get there, do it.

ok, r187. you sound like my delusional mother...

Life is difficult for people who feel too much.

volunteer to help someone else and Then you will understand the point

R193 😘🙏🏻❤️

R193 Some people are depressed because they have been fucked over too many times by people. The thought of helping anyone makes my skin crawl.

r195 try animal shelters. the entire idea is to give.

R189- Very, very, VERY close!!! I do work in Massachusetts, if that gives you a hint!

R197 above, is me R4 (for R189)--

And let me say, there is some awesome advice in this thread. Really great stuff-

Adopting and animal or helping animals--

And nature, nature, nature.

Nature is a doorway to God.

Death is nature's way of telling you it's time to slow down.

Trump makes everything worthless. To have to watch the destruction of my country just before I die...it seems so unfair.

Consider this, R201...was it ever really “your” country? Is America really a monolithic nation with all citizens under one flag, or has it ever been? What is the essence of this mythical place that you think can be destroyed? And what is the existential import of a nation of affiliate states to an individual, anyway? How do you define the allegiance you are so fervent to pledge? To whose principles, whose Bible, whose terms are you subscribing?

Remember when you were a child and you stared at us with wonder, awe, and pure, sweet truth in your little hearts and minds that you were seeing beauty?

Well, we were experiencing the same thing looking back at you.

And we still see that in you.

That’s beautiful r203!

We should all play more. When we were young we played and it made school bearable.

Now that I’m an adult I spend my time off resting from stress or doing chores/errands. I’d be happier if I did some kind of activity. Those old people playing shuffleboard/bocce ball have something.

These physicians seem to have some idea.

We are slowly (unfortunately) evolving as a society. We went from hunter/gather to slavery to democracy, but there is still class and prejudice, backward steps, etc.

We’ve made some great strides in the past century. I think someday maybe technology will free us from unnecessary work, and we’ll all have more fulfilling lives. We’ll also continue to become a more empathetic world. The internet has been so helpful in showing us all how similar we are, to give us voice. It’s frustrating right now, because we’re all capable of seeing it (the “utopia”) on the horizon, but it’s still out of reach. I really believe the old ways of war and hate are going by the wayside, even though they resurge often.

Just live in oblivion, OP. Do as many, individual little things as you can, and ignore 'the meaning of life' etc. Play with animals, listen to music, grow plants, watch only funny stuff, ignore the news, etc.

R203 You cutie, you.

And help others, R208.

The beauty of a promised Heaven that no devilish hatemonger can take away from you...

R207 but some of us or all of won't live that long to see that technology

R6 isn’t introspection and questioning your existence having an inner life?

We are all just smart apes.

Scratch your butt and do whatever you like. It doesn't matter, you dumb ape. There's this vastness of the universe filled with life, the stars, the galaxies, the giant black holes.

You think you or me are that important? We're just all a bunch of smart apes. It doesn't matter what you do so have fun being what you are.

Anyone who would ask a question like OP is not enjoying their life. It's possible your brain chemistry is off.

Read A VERY GOOD DAY by Ayelet Waldman. Or just watch the Ted Talk. The tiniest amount of mushrooms or LSD, so little you couldn't even feel it, could give you an awesome day. Have a few awesome days. you're a person. you deserve that.

Each year over 1 million adults attempt to commit suicide in the United States. Imagine how many think about it but dont go through with it. It has to be a lot more. Time to make hallucinogens legal. The mental health benefits are staggering. Absolutely staggering.

Your problem OP is trying to live for yourself. Life only has meaning when you live for others.

R216, a lot of people have no others that care for them. You’re telling them there’s no reason to live.

A family member used to tell me, “if you don’t have children you don’t know what love is.” Well, I don’t have children. But I spent decades looking after my elderly parents. I guess you could argue that isn’t “real” love, but duty. But if duty isn’t love, what is really?

Think of all the things parents do for their kids that aren’t fun, cleaning diapers and vomit, listening to their kids cry. They’re not doing it because it’s fun, they’re doing it because it’s their duty. Love means you take the bad with the good.

For people that aren’t loved in return, you get all the bad, none of the good, and all of the duty with no one feeling any obligation towards you, if you should ever need help yourself. It’s all obligation and no reward.

But if you carry out your duty, whatever it is, with no hope of reward, that’s love too, isn’t it? A form of love that people who are loved in return will never understand, because they’ll never have to settle for it.

I guess I would say to people that have no love in their life, find a duty you can live with. Charity, volunteering, whatever it is. If you can’t tolerate people, volunteer with pets or clean up trash or garden. If you’re not good with people, like me, sometimes serving without the negativity of ungrateful people can make your life better, without all the disapproval and condemnation of an unloving world.

Denial of death. Just make up a reason, or quell the desire for a reason. It’s all arbitrary. But to get through the day, many need to have a reason. But all those reason are made up.

[Quote] [R216], a lot of people have no others that care for them. You’re telling them there’s no reason to live.

No, what I meant was you should live for others.