Suzanne Somers' face these days

Gorgeous. She looks 27.

R1 = Trump

How is it possible that she managed to beat cancer and Valerie Harper could not?

She loves a turtleneck and a long bang.

She is a bit muppet like but she does look great for her age.

Suzanne is a scientist. She grew back her own breast after her tragic mastectomy. She left behind her successful film and Broadway career to devote herself to curing disease and promoting longevity. She's beautiful and luscious, supple as a young girl. Suzanne is 73 and hasn't even reached menopause!

Sold 10 million Thigh Masters but conviviality forgot to mention she had cosmetic surgery on her low body before that. Something the product would never do for you.

Just squeeze, squeeze, squeeze those dollars out of those rubes.

Stated the other day she and her 83 year old husband still have sex twice a day which of course is absurd and embarrassing.

Even with a strap on, her husband would probably break a hip trying to have sex twice a day. Get real Suzanne. Maybe twice a year, if that.

Today (Friday, the 10th) Suzanne is a guest on the syndicated "Dr Oz" show. She'll discuss posing nude.

She did good work avoiding old lady voice. Appearance though, is monstrous.

[quote]Gorgeous. She looks 27.

In what, R1 -- dog years?

She looks like a Spitting Image puppet.

Stupid cunt was also talking about how great ambassador to Germany, and token Trump quisling fagala, Richard Grenell is and what good friends they are. She and Barry “Late bloomer” Manilow can go fuck themselves.

Oh and that shit about regrowing her breast is a bunch of bullshit. They suck fat out of your ass and use it to “regrow” your breast.

Suzanne regrew her own breast from stem cells. She is a scientist and medical expert, most specifically in cancer research and longevity studies. She gave up her successful film, Broadway and recording career to devote herself fulltime to medical research. She is the highly respected author of 27 books. She personally invented the ThighMaster, The FaceMaster and the only all natural sweetener SomerSweet. Although Ms. Somers is proud to be over 50 years old, she has yet to experience menopause, facial aging or loss of hair pigmentation. Her thick golden blonde locs are all natural. She uses no hair dye or cosmetic surgeries, only excellent Suzanne Somers hair care and skin products. For all her recognition and awards in the medical and entertainment fields, Suzanne is still not given enough credit for her pioneering work in bioidentical hormone therapy and curing cancer. She will likely live forever, so there's time. Get a Swingy Dress today and celebrate Somers!

IF YOU ARE RIGHT ON THE BORDERLINE BETWEEN 2 SIZES, ORDER THE SMALLER SIZE FOR A TIGHTER FIT, OR THE LARGER SIZE FOR A LOOSER FIT

R14 wait is Manilow a deplorable too?

Is the DL who supposedly fingered her in a hot tub going to chime in....again.

Sadly that fellow's fingers rotted and fell off so he can no longer type here.

Is Barry Manilow a Trumper??

HER PUSSY STINKS

Why would that be?

She has a screw lose. Didnt this blond boob admit to having a kleptomaniac problem while she was making boat loads of cash on Three's Company?

Suzanne only stole to feed her child. She has since saved millions of lives.

Yes, no better way to feed you kid is to steal shit wearing a mink coat. Throws the haters off track.

A woman of Suzanne Somers provenance doesn't wear a mink coat. Furs and jewels are for old women who've lost their beauty. A wrap dress and a pair of nude pumps. Suzzzanne is ready to go.

I loved her tv movie where she was in her 40s playing herself as a teenager.

[quote]A woman of Suzanne Somers provenance doesn't wear a mink coat.

Right, the Google is a terrible reminder. Today it's leopard.

I hear her pussy is still naturally moist, like fresh dew on rgs morning grass!

Google reminds you that Suzanne Somers cured breast cancer and stopped the occurrence of menopause R28. You must educate yourself. Suzanne believes it is better to expand on the truth than defend a lie. Think about it sad person @ R28. Ms. Somers is worth hundreds of millions and her husband is HUNG. Leopard coats have not been legal since 1917. Suzanne wears faux fur and only uses organic natural ingredients in her cosmetics, hair care and skin regime. These are some of the reasons why she still looks 27 when she is over 50!

"Make me look like Cate Blanchett."

LambChop? Is it you?

R17 LMAO I was thinking the same thing.

Seriously why are a 75 year old woman and her husband STILL so hungry for press after all these...decades? The boatloads of money she makes has nothing to do with her talk show appearances or page six mentions — that’s still all for ego. Any kind of acting career has long been over and I’m sure even she knows that so really, what’s the point, at this stage?

And lol r27, I remember that.

[quote]I loved her tv movie where she was in her 40s playing herself as a teenager.

That's tremendous R27. I would love to see that.

I always think she is kind of obnoxious but she doesn't come off too bad in OP's clip. She does seem like a nutter but she's been able to make a fortune with her schtick so more power to her I guess.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

OP’s pick looks like an old dick peeking out of its withered foreskin.

She has all the money in the world and has spent her whole life chasing anti aging regiments and still looks like that. Eek

[quote]Gotta admit she does have nice legs for a 73 year old.

Umm, really?

Death Becomes Her

R39 Joyce needs to toss her some Pantyhose.

Also in the Wendy Williams appearance she tells the story of her first date with her husband. He got her in his hotel room and gave her a pot brownie without tell her that it had pot in it. Nothing really says “Romance!” like giving someone edibles without their knowledge!

Her legs looked great 3 days ago in broad daylight...scroll down for pics

She's gorgeous. I met SS and Alan at the Bellagio. We had quite a time.

The husband is, indeed, creepy. He really capitalizes on SS.

Donatella Versace is also overly-tanned and weathered, but seems like she has a better life than SS.

That’s exactly what her doctor ordered. Walking with a crutch wearing high heeled pointy toed shoes. Stupid bitch.

She looks ridiculous in that outfit.

Suzanne looks amazing in that outfit. She knows what to hide and what to show.

She thinks she looks good for 73. Actually, her face looks battered.

This is what looking good at 78 looks like. 5 years older than Suzanne:

Grandma's been so busy peddling her anti-aging books that she forgot to take her once-monthly Boniva® and them brittle bones are breaking!

She's been wearing that same busted wig that covers half her face for at least 30 years.

Suzanne doesn't wear wigs or color her hair. She's relentlessly youthful.

Suzanne Somers and Caitlyn Jenner are the new standard for aging gracefully.

[quote] The husband is, indeed, creepy. He really capitalizes on SS.

Her husband is actually very famous in Canada, and way before she became famous.

Suzanne is going to have to wear a Sia wig to hide how wrinkled and old she’s gotten in the last few years.

[quote] This is what looking good at 78 looks like. 5 years older than Suzanne:

Your using a clip of Martha, wearing studio make-up, studio lighting and her hair in her face. Clearly you can do better than that.

Suzanne’s fave looks terrible. She needs to go away. Cunt.

R56, you can’t deny that Martha looks great for her age. Martha looks good in the face and Suzanne has good legs. Martha looks fantastic showing her face in her appearance at R49 and Suzanne Summers looks like mutton dressed as lam in her skirt and heels and crutch.

For the poster who said that: [quote] Her husband is actually very famous in Canada, and way before she became famous.

Talk about damning with faint praise!

Pardon all the errors, I’m in my cups.

For all of her super-healthy living, she doesn't look all that great.

Suzanne is part of ongoing experiments in tissue regrowth. It is part of her pioneering work in cancer research with far reaching implications as to how this new medical technology could be used. So at times she has some visible signs of lumpy appearing skin or more recently what she is calling a fractured him. The truth is much more exciting and will likely win her the Nobel Prize.

Can we get our money back for all those FaceMasters® that were clearly a scam?

*fractured HIP.

Alan, thank god is as fit and virile as ever.

Suzanne loves letting people know that her 80 year-old man still can't stop pounding her pussy.

[quote]anti aging regiments

Where exactly are they stationed?

Oh, dear.

[quote] what’s the point, at this stage?

Did someone say "stage?"

That Playbill is hilarious. The picture they used must've been 20 years old at the time.

[quote]Your using a clip of Martha, wearing studio make-up, studio lighting and her hair in her face. Clearly you can do better than that.

You're wrong.

First of all Somers is also on a show with studio lighting, wearing make-up for the occasion.

Take into account that Martha is in motion in that clip. She's not sitting statically, posed with her head held high as is Somers.

Martha is in a much more unflattering situation cooking over a grill.

But no matter: Although 5 years older, Martha looks younger than Somers.

She looks dignified. More feminine than Somers. She looks like a real person. She's not trying to look like she's 35.

Somers, on the other hand, now looks like a World Federation wrestler in drag.

[quote]Suzanne loves letting people know that her 80 year-old man still can't stop pounding her pussy.

How do you think she broke her hip?

She still hasn't been able to get rid of that ridiculous Palm Springs mountain house.

i thought she was taking some “bio-identical” hormone to ease menopause or some shit. Looks like it’s bio-identical to testosterone.

We had a "Tasteful Friends" on her Palm Springs house. It was as hideous as you'd imagine Suzanne Somers' house to be.

A lot better than a few years ago when she looked like she went to a silicone party and got injected, all lumpy-faced. But still a little paralyzed. These doctors need to learn micro-filling, building your face meticulously so it looks natural- instead of assembly line balloon-face.

I don't know about some of her health recommendations, but she sounds sharp and woke.

[quote]she sounds sharp and woke.

Bitch Please, she was'nt woke even when she was 24.

R44 "We had quite a time ". So we've heard. Sommers must have made quite the impression on you.

It's always sad when old show business hags try to maintain a look they had 30+ years ago.

R39 She got legs and feet like Cindy Crawfo- er Caitlyn Jenner!

R44 That skirt looks like it was made out of a garbage bag. Maybe it's her latest product and she's self promoting it.

R77 lol

[quote]Suzanne loves letting people know that her 80 year-old man still can't stop pounding her pussy.

You mean 83!🤢

When Alan dies she’ll go on a grieving widow tour. She will probably write a book about it. Then she can add ‘grief expert’ to her resume.

When Alan dies, Suzanne will be free to marry Larry King. He's loves that gorgeous young broad.

Alan...die? Impossible! Dr. Somers has him shot up with bio-identical hormones that she claims will have him (and her) living forever!

What 83 year old man looks better or more virile and vital than Alan? Suzanne is not wrong. She lives with the certainty that life can be everlasting. They take another woman to bed quite often. This also helps with happiness. Alan is very well endowed and has a tiny tanline. His ass is not sexy but he's cute about it. He's waxed and groomed very beautifully. Suzanne has the capacity to squirt and she always moist and responsive. She loves to be watched and pleasured. She is quite anxious to please - her tongue is so smooth and thick. Sex is a key to health and longevity, as you can see by their confident struts. Suzanne is very demure in person which makes her all the more appealing when she surrenders. Alan encourages her but never pressures anything until it's time to go hard. He knows that Suzanne is the STAR of the shOw. She's amazing. Her gorgeous legs go All the Way Up.

LOL I love R83's totally bizarre ramblings. You go, girlfriend.

John Ritter called me in the hair salon the day before he died!!

[quote] Suzanne Somers' face

Suzanne's face looks like it's in worse shape than Andy Cohen's butthole!

[quote]His ass is not sexy but he's cute about it.

LOL

Them two don't make love anymore--them two make mush!

Suzanne calls it "gush" when she wants to turn Alan on. She gets so wet she squirts. But she does it just to tease him too. He needs to inject his penis when she doesn't give him enough time for pills to work. It's a secret. He does it in his private place. Then he emerges in a robe or boxers with a BIG penis. He's very thick and about eight inches. Alan is very passionate to fuck Suzanne and other women, but he doesn't perform oral sexy. He likes to watch that and receive it. Goodness, what man doesn't?!

When she was doing her Broadway show she had a special HSN matinee, where if you bought tickets thru HSN for this one show she would do a talk back after the show. My friend thought it would be a hoot so he got us tickets. The show is now legendary but after the show you showed your tickets you got to stay in the house. A matron was surprised we were there, we were actually the only guys. We were already down front so they brought the rest all down front.

Out she comes and she was greatly disappointed that it turned out the show was closing that weekend. Well, she took about five questions and out saunters Alan and the HSN girls are thrilled. He walks to her and states, he's hungry and they have to go to lunch. So 15 minutes and off she goes, and these were fans. As we left they gave us a hard copy of her 20 year autobiography, which of course all the ladies probably had already.. Must have been left over from the soon to close merch stand. Not signed of course.,

R84 I never thought we'd see the day of an "I Fucked Suzanne Sommers " troll. I'll give them points for creativity.

The thought of these two creatures grinding their liver spots together makes my nauseous.

If they really are still having sex twice a day then I imagine they're both sex addicts.

[Quote] It's always sad when old show business hags try to maintain a look they had 30+ years ago.

It's very sad.

R86 Andy Cohen's butthole is so prolapsed that it looks like the open mouth of a demogorgon from Stranger Things.

The fillers in that face! Yikes

Her face is plump and fresh as a rosebud.

I don't get why Suzanne is touted as aging well, Susan Lucci is the same age or older and looks a million times better and not freakish.

Who knew Tony Woodard was a racist against Jews?

Any other old time Philly DLers remember when SS old man was a shill for Acme Markets?

And Californians remember him as a shill for Alpha Beta markets.

She broke her foot, and she’s wearing THAT high-heeled pump on it?! SMDH. I first read that line in the article, “ Scroll on down to see more photos of Suzanne and her crotch!” Nah, I’m good.

R97, you know who looks good? Vanna White. Saw her while I was trying to catch the Jeopardy special. She looks the same as ever, and she’s 62. Her figure is perfect, too, but her face looks great.

Face it, even when Suzanne was young she was cheap looking.

She's a guest tonight on WWHL along with Jennifer Coolidge.

She looks like a Silver Dollar City "Slutty Maybelle" doll that someone left in the sleet after kicking it in the face. That Branson rain done took the curls plumb right out and them painted on eyes are all smeary-like.

I never thought she was pretty. She has a nice body back in the day but that face was never anything.

[quote]She broke her foot, and she’s wearing THAT high-heeled pump on it?! SMDH. I first read that line in the article, “ Scroll on down to see more photos of Suzanne and her crotch!” Nah, I’m good.

She didn't break her foot, she broke her HIP, pay attention!

Yes, she was always whorish and tacky looking.

Of all the ladies of the 70s, I think Jacklyn Smith and Lynda Carter were the best-looking. They were both truly gorgeous, and never looked cheap.

As Rubashov put it on the fifth day of imprisonment in Koestler's Darkness at Noon, "The revolutionary sells their soul to the devil, hoping for the absolution of history."

I want to put my Legg's covered foot , UP HER ASS.

You mean Bab's sensational hat and coat in the opening of Funny Girl were fakes?!!!

[quote]She looks 27.

Dyslexic?

Only on DL can you be a guest at Barry Manilow's wedding to a man and still be homophobic.

R114? Strom Thurmond has a half black child. Remind us what his politics were.

Rush Limbaugh had Elton John sing at his wedding.

Are you really one of those geniuses who think "Some of your best friends..." is actually a GOOD defense?

It isn't "only on DL." It's every normal person on this planet. Ken Mehlman himself helped draft a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. HE'S GAY.

There are a lot of people who can be friends, but still lack the empathy and introspection to understand how their voting/ideology hurts those they claim to care about.

R109 I would agree with that and add Farrah to that list. She was so unique looking.

Don't forget me!

Bonnie died before she could become a plastic surgery disaster.

No one else connected to [italic]Serial Mom[/italic] was at Barry's wedding?

Did you bitches see Suzanne on Wendy? She's very pro-gay.

R114, Barry and her husband are Jewish and yet she defends the President from any criticism that his rhetoric has contributed to the increase in anti-Semitic attacks in this country.

I got subjected to anti-semitic hate speech under the last three Presidents, R121.

R122, the other three didn't enable it and what you're kinda saying is you're fine with other groups being overtly attacked by the current president to the point that he wants to legislate that hate and actually tweets out videos to foment hate towards groups like Muslims. Did Obama or Clinton or Bush ever outwardly go after you as a Jewish person the way Trump has with Mexicans and Muslims? If you attempt to answer in any way other than No, then you're saying you're fine with bigotry and racism as long as your particular group isn't subjected to it. Which would be selfish on your part.

R105, will you marry me??

I was one of the lucky ones to see The Blonde in the Thunderbird and it really was one of the most bizarre, entertaining disasters I've ever seen. Suzanne seemed to have no idea how campy the whole thing was and, every time she tried to go for tears or a heartfelt moment, it turned into a laugh riot. Every choice, every line, every song placement was woefully miscalculated.

R121 isn’t she a convert herself?

Anyway I just watched that clip and now I think I might just hate/hate her. Why do people like that equate “Godliness” and “being a great American” with Republicanism? Fucking douchbags.

"when I grew up the churches took care of everybody the the homeless, now it's not working everyone is on food stamps"

What a dumb BITCH! Did it ever occur to you that "it's not working" is because the free ride you got back then is no longer there? If the so called churches were doing their job you wouldn't need food stamp Dear. Everyone including you have gotten greedy.

Everyone back then also felt a need to take care of their own community. That WAS a conservative value, now it's every man for himself, and once you get on the boat, pull up the ladder.

R43’s article said “ rocking a crutch — something she had thanks to a fractured foot.“. So, I WAS paying attention, judgmental tootie-patootie R107. Just evidently to a misinformed article.

Tony Woodard, after you called Israel a dump, and after a black man slaughtered a Rabbi in his own home while celebrating Hanukkah, you're the last one with any business decrying antisemitism.

This hag is a Trump lover. I don't care if she could cure cancer with her pussy and solve the climate crisis.

Being a Trumpanzee shows she's another con-artist/grifter or just really stupid and racist.

And I don't believe all of her bullshit about anti-aging, it's called botox and plastic surgery, people!

Can we keep politics out of a fun thread like this?

Did anyone buy Suzanne’s book of poetry? Are all the poems like this? We’re her poems serious or intentionally funny?

R131 = Suzanne's publicist

Yes, R132. (Except for the “intentionally” part.)

Check out the Photoshop wizardry on her new book cover.

[quote][R131] = Suzanne's publicist

No asshole, just tired of the political obsessives shitting on our fun, snarky celebrity threads. Fuck off.

I'm trying to find a clip of Suzanne's tv movie where fortysomething Suzanne played herself as a teenager. If I can, I'll post it.

Praise Jesus, I found the whole movie!

[quote]I'm trying to find a clip of Suzanne's tv movie where fortysomething Suzanne played herself as a teenager. If I can, I'll post it.

Who does she think she is, Joan Crawford?

At what point does she play a teen? I'm not watching that whole shit movie

Whore-moans

Does she paint? I feel like she probably has a studio where she "paints" still lifes of vulvar flowers and landscapes.

R136 Take a chill pill, it's called snark.

Besides who elected you the politics headmistress?

She's a fucked up Trumper selling bullshit fountain of youth cures. I have a right to express my thoughts about that.

Suzanne plans to write five more books over the next five years.

[quote] Tony Woodard, after you called Israel a dump, and after a black man slaughtered a Rabbi in his own home while celebrating Hanukkah, you're the last one with any business decrying antisemitism.

Matt @129 you keep my name out of your fucking mouth. I said nothing about the Tree of Life massacre and your using it to smear my integrity by attempting to link my name somehow with it is nothing but blood libel in reverse.

Yes, I called Israel a dump because it IS a dump! It might be the nicest house in that neighborhood but it’s still, in my objective opinion after traveling there for a week with my family, a great big historic divisive dusty DUMP. Two blocks along the Mediterranean in Tel Aviv and the King David Hotel a beautiful country do not make. While I congratulate them for growing oranges as big as my head in that godforsaken sandbox of a country, but it has as much curb appeal as a brush pile.

[quote]Suzanne plans to write five more books over the next five years.

Those aren't plans -- they're THREATS!

Why is she on WWHL tonight? What is she promoting?

Her new book.

Shouldn't she be thrown in prison by the FDA for giving out quack medical advice?

I tried her Thighmaster back in the '90s and broke my vagina bone.

R149 was still Bruce Jenner in those days.

Kim Zimmer must have hated playing second fiddle to her.

So food stamps and single payer healthcare are immoral an “unAmerican” but I guess bouncing check after check and shoplifting when you don’t have the money are just fine.

What a dumb cunt hypocrite.

Although admittedly I was actually very surprised to ever find out she was a Republican (which I’m pretty sure I found out on here) — she’s such a joke but she actually didn’t strike me as the type — wonder if she always has been, even in the 70s?

Same with Tim Allen. The asshole was a drug dealer who went to prison. How the fuck do these fucked up people have the nerve to be conservative considering liberals are the ones who overlook their deviance and give them another chance? To be a conservative is to say *I* get to escape the burning building. I'm taking the ladder after I get out. You stay in there and burn to death - no chance at life for you.

Because conservatives like her, and time and Dr. Laura only think about themselves. When they break the law, it's justifiable. When someone they know needs stem cell treatment, suddenly they can overlook their religious objection. Hate "homosexuals" until their daughter comes out as one. But when the public just want a fair playing field or needs actual help its "fuck them all to hell" for taking their money.

So I assume Suzanne contributes greatly to her church then?

Yes she dose, the church of Suzanne.

If you cant help yourself, how can you help others - life quotes and other thoughts - Chrissy Snow.

Suzanne was so powerful in that final number where she was singing and crying!

Crying all the way to the bank.

Her fillers have not only migrated, they've turned into acorn storage for the winter!

I actually watched WWHL last night and I will admit that Alan Hamel does look damn good for 83 — a lot better than SS does for 73. He’s still a creepy fucker (and he really is), but he does look a good 20 years younger.

It is so nasty that Suzanne thinks everybody wants to hear about how much her ancient husband still likes to pound her ancient snatch.

Welcome to my bath tub....the NDA is on the nightstand.

That's the second time Suzanne used that bathtub. Can't say everything, but we all love her.

Yes, by all means when you take that pic take a few steps back, no further, no keep gong, keep going until my face is barely noticeable. My fans will love how youthful I look.

Untouched by Photoshop.

I wonder if they do anal.

Fair warning. This contains beauty secrets and lies.

Her skin looks like shit. So weird that she dose all that stuff and thinks it looks great. And no I am not just being bitchy. My boss is 65 and her skin is tight and flawless! I am not kidding, random people say that to her when we are out in public, and she is not famous so. Suzanne is at the opposite end of that scale to me and lumpy too.

It's 99% genes Topical can make the skin look better but the sagging is all genetics!

It's not just genetics, my boss spends thousands of dollars on her skin care. I mean like tens, of thousands. And not nearly as rich as Somers.

But honesty, I think her secret is staying out of the sun. She said she never once even as a teen went out to get a tan. Sitting in a bathtub out in the sun with the reflection of water would be her worst nightmare. Even in her fab penthouse she keeps the drapes closed all day with just a sliver of light coming through. Suzanne Summers definitely has permanent sun damage.

What a moronic way to live. Your boss sounds ridiculous. Suzanne Somers was touched by the sun. She radiates life and health and satisfaction. Touch her. Touch me.

Somers is a classic beauty. Her look is timeless.

[quote]Suzanne Somers was touched by the sun. She radiates life and health and satisfaction.

Those are call liver spots.

R173 damn what's with the Suzanne Somers hatred in here?

Has Joyce Dewitt joined DL?

[quote]Somers is a classic beauty. Her look is timeless.

For 1985.

This bitch is such a fuckin liar. She has no shame! haha. Her husband so handsome and taking testosterone. Bitch WHERE? I only know her from STEP BY STEP when I was a kid. Her face was always goofy looking. Now she looks like Janice the Muppet. HIDEOUS. All those bitches who get botox say, "Oh I tried it once". So full of shit. What is wrong with people! She still wants to be the "hot" blonde in the 70s. Publishing all these books like she has the answers and secrets. And the fraus and eldergays just eat it up! Dumb suckers.

She needs some cheekbones...her looks have always been very pedestrian.

She was never pretty to begin with. The reason they hired her for Three's Company was for Tits and Ass. T and A was the big thing that year in TV shows to get men to tune it. It was openly talked about as as a thing. Like "did you see that just a T and A show John?". No one really went on a diatribe about her beauty.

She sure likes rocking turtlenecks these days. What you hiding, girl?

[quote]Somers is a classic beauty. Her look is timeless.

Definitely. Her face could stop a clock.

I agree with the above poster who said that for somebody who's spent her life doing all the anti-aging stuff, she really kind of looks like shit. Her face looks like it's made of rubber and inflated with a tire pump. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for all the health and beauty shit she shills.

That's what happens when you go to some back alley and let some tranny inject you with Fix-a-Flat.

I watched some of the clips of her on Watch What Happens Live and it seems like Jennifer Coolidge is studying her for her next role in a Christopher Guest movie and trying not to laugh. At one point, Suzanne starting raving about how great she is as a live performer and how everyone should come see her if she does a Vegas show with Marie Osmond (can you imagine?) and I wish I'd been able to call in and say I'd seen her in the Blonde in the Thunderbird and she was fucking awful.

Jennifer Coolidge ROCKS.

No-one can hold a candle to Suzanne's beauty. Because the last time they did she started melting.

[quote] A Note To Suzanne.

'Never shall a young man,

Thrown into despair

By those great honey-coloured

Ramparts at your ear,

Love you for yourself alone

And not your yellow hair.'

'But I can get a hair-dye

And set such colour there,

Brown, or black, or carrot,

That young men in despair

May love me for myself alone

And not my yellow hair.'

'I heard an old religious man

But yesternight declare

That he had found a text to prove

That only God, my dear,

Could love you for yourself alone

And not your yellow hair.'

Suzanne is now 80% rubber.

I like her.

R188 = Trump

Suzanne and Alan have become a bit strange. In the name of science. They both grow extra cell pods on their bodies that are later transplanted to face and ass (Suzi) or ass and thighs for Alan. These are not fat injections but cellular growth transplants. Suzanne doesn't really have a broken or fractured hip. You can't walk in heels with that. She's suffering a tissue refusal. You're all familiar with that. The a m a z i n g Suzanne Somers is nothing like Trump. She is a genius level intellect and her life of triumph and overcoming tragedy is an open 27 books!! She dedicates her life to helping the gays and underprivileged women. With her cancer research and bioidentical hormone breakthroughs she has revolutionized middle age and so can you. There is no reason for menopause or uhappy penis when we have injections and supplements. What used to be called old age, Suzanne calls the back forty. So cute. She is forever young. No sugar! SomerSweet is still on the market, those delicious and healthy shakes are only 5 dollars a day. Suzi believes in tequila and chocolate treats too. Everything in moderation except for shoes and sex. Who can fight? She loves a DVF wrap dress and no pussy is more available. Seriously Suzanne Somers has powerful messages about how to avoid and/or treat cancer. Get her books "Back Cancer At Last." and " Cancer No More."

Truth is that Suzanne likes a bump in her ass when she is going to have a DP. But the pretty lady is always in front. (that was me for a few years) Alan loves that back action and he never cums!! The injections keep him hard for a long time and he's magic with his tongue. He doesn't believe in mouth to vagina or mouth to anus contact, but he darts in and out when I'm eating. Suzanne told me in the bath that without Alan she has more than 30 orgasms a day. So that's what keeps her so very beautiful and young. She is multi orgasmic. You already knew that?

I know a lot about Suzanne's feelings about DJT, but the NDA makes it impossible to talk about it here. Suzanne will be singing at the Oscars, look for her covert statement then. Her life is dedicated to science now - but when they ask, she will still put on a gown and perform for her peers. Her fans support her in other ways. She is almost 55 and still looks like a young woman without any cosmetic surgeries or enhancements. She is her own billboard for her lifestyle and beauty recommendations. Buy her book gay people. It's not the end of your life, but your life in the end!!

R190 = Susanne Summers in posting here now? Geeze, the least you could do is pretend you are a fan and not push your book at the same time!

R190 You take baths with Suzanne Sommers???? WTF???

[quote]She loves a turtleneck

And scarves too, artfully arranged to cover up her tragic neck. Apparently necks can’t be lifted like faces and all those years of sun damage really add up.

I love r190 and wish to read more. I’m not even kidding.

Suzanne's worn the same wig that covers half her face since the 80s.

Her skin texture is awful. What are all the little bumps?

R196 Sun damage plus botched dermabrasions, laser treatments etc. plus crusty old person skin.

If you're going to have cosmetic work done, just get a subtle eye lift and neck lift, and a little discreet botox/Restalyne. That's all. You'll look really good for your age. People like Suzanne are the ones who have a ton of shit done because they want to look 25 again, and nothing in the world can do that. They just end up looking freakish.

R198 don't all eye jobs on men look freakish no matter how subtle?

Iv seen eye jobs on men that look ok if they just reduce the sagging upper lid. But if they are like most queens I know who had plastic surgery the also get a brow lift, (instant drag queen) face lift, neck lift, nose job, botox, fillers and freaks on parade who think they look like Brad Pitt.

She went from sex pot, to sex doll.

She truly looks like those spray painted bitches at the end of Death Becomes Her. Poor thing!

R201 More like from sex pot to corpse. She looks like she just died.

Poor Suzanne, but does her pussy still stink?

Would you buy anti-aging and skin care products from a woman who looked like that?

If your 83 year old husband is still fucking you twice a day, then you have magic pussy. Self lubricating and sweet. Suzanne is not all about cosmetic outcomes. She is about our quality of life, the sustenance of spirit and the wonder of living forever without disease. Gravity still takes a toll and hormonal women still suffer skin outbreaks, but SS is ageless inside. We will still be discussing her overly sexy look 50 years from now! By then she will be a Nobel Laureate. Don't make the mistake of only loving her for her blonde beauty and glorious showbiz achievements. Ms. Somers sacrificed all the fame and accolades of Hollywood for science almost twenty years ago. Rumor is she WILL sing at this year's Oscars!! The public demands it.

Agree with R5.

Agree with R206

Who let Suzanne's Publicist on this site? R206. Suzanne is that you?

Shes got a new attitude!

[quote]By then she will be a Nobel Laureate

They dont give the Nobel Prizes to Thigh Master sales people Toots.

[quote] Ms. Somers sacrificed all the fame and accolades of Hollywood for science almost twenty years ago.

Translation = Old hag cant find work in Hollywood.

Suzanne Somers cured breast cancer. A certain kind. She is in all the textbooks. She knows what she is doing. The ThighMaster is all one word btw. Now in gold.

[quote]Suzanne Somers cured breast cancer.

LOL. So she set up a lab, went to medical school for 8 years, then another 4j raised millions of dollars hired hundreds of researchers, did thousands of experiments submitted her work the the cancer research center then found a cure nobody else had ever though of? Really? And the sky is what color in your world?

[quote]ThighMaster is all one word btw.

And she lied about not having lower body plastic surgery before doing that commercial BTW.

R212 A 30 second google search has debunked the idea the SS cured cancer. She took this mistletoe extract drug but still underwent the usual course of treatment.

Too much spray paint...

Suzanne cured her breast cancer and went on to set up her own lab and study breast cancer as a scientist. She devoted her life to this study and education and she is foremost and forefront in the treatment of breast tissue removal and reconstruction utilizing your own host body to grow another breast. When THIS breaks through - she will win the Nobel and any greater prize.

Suzanne always said, "Let my thighmaster help you look better as a woman, let my facemaster help you understand technology and let SomerSweet free you of sugar and cancer causing artificial sweeteners. AND - let my breast cancer teach you how to grow your own NEW breast on your back and don't believe cancer in the first place!! We won't be defined by our worst day, but our best solutions."

Life is about sexy love and the beautiful sharing of our gifts. Loving one man with a few other women and having your children young. Don't go through menopause when it can be delayed for 50 years and don't accept a uturn dick when you can revitalize your man with some T shots and/or a direct injection. Remember to live each day as if it's his last. Make sure he works for you! Be naked in the grass. Love is everything. Build your own new breast on your back. Women can do everything. Buy Suzanne's look & her new book!!

Supplement your hole. May you stay forever young.

The Dr. who 'cured' Suzanne, killed my sister. He's a quack. He pumps urine into people with cancer. Don't get me started on how stupid the choice was on my sister's part but it happened.

A piss cure is not endorsed by the Suzanne Somers Foundation. We do not reject urine as a complementary treatment.

Wait, nobody told me pissing was involved. Typically I have to go to Russia for such things.

Suzanne's Piss Cure. Got it.

All this time I though she was using Miss Clairol.

God damn-it, all this time I thought it was a joke that her publicist was posting here. Now it looks like its for real. The cut and past inserts from r217 are straight from her book. She is trolling up for FREE publicity! No one would even come close to saying all the flowery false pretense about here except someone that works for her or Suzanne herself.

HI Suzanne! Welcome to the Data Lounge. Now go fuck off.

Hi Suzanne, can you confirm your DL stalker’s hot tub finger bang story?

Can you imagine that old corpse and her having sex with her prolapse uterus?

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

None of R217 is from Suzi's book. We integrate and take in these blessings, to pass them on. Where do her teachings begin and I end. They began in the fountain at the Bellagio. I WISH that I could approximate Suzi Somers style or voice, because I knew her and Alan well. They have all lessons for you to learn r222. Older gay men have it hard when they're alone and can't get it up. Please read Suzanne's prescription for past fifty "bad skin and skinny dick."

In a secular world - we can focus on science and still believe in Somers again. Good luck with your impotence R222!

R225 What happened in the Bellagio fountain?

Your previous comments are not welcome R226. I've spoken briefly about my meeting with Suzanne and Alan at the Bellagio before. I won't go further with someone like you. Suzanne is a beautiful woman and person. Her husband is funny and persuasive. They are very rich and live a pampered and sensual life without interference. I had a wonderful year with them. May your encounters be so beautiful and free. I see now that I was used, but it was all so pleasurable and first class. So much laughter and delicious sex began in that fountain.

Suzanne Somers is a lying sack of rubber. And so are you R227. "Your comments are not welcome." SHEESH...

It’s actually very googleable who their publicist is these days (why do they have one full time at this point? It’s so desperate) I wonder if that person ever comes on here.

Dont waste your time on R227, R217, R206. All the same wack job. You can tell the person writing that is mentally ill, and I dont mean that as an insult. They really sound like someone who has more than a screw lose if you stand back and read between the lines. Kind of stalkerish at the same time gives impressed with themselves thinking they are being cleaver but in reality makes no sense to anyone but themselves.

Suzanne Somers Causes Cancer.

Aw man! If I were famous, I'd for sure stay out of the limelight after a certain age. Chrissy forever ruined.

That what I did.

How dare you, R230! The poster you are attacking is an incredible EST! More, more, more!!!

Suzanne Somers killed John Ritter!

R235 Wait, was that before or after she cured cancer?