I’m in my 40s, and for my entire adult life, I’ve only been able to (and I only want to) be in relationships in which my significant others very openly cheat on me. Before I came out more openly about my position, I dreamed of them cheating on me and wished for it. When it happened, I found peace in the relationship. Once open, I’ve found a lot of women who admit to cheating in prior relationships, and desire it to continue, especially with consent. The problem: So far, they have all fallen in love with others, and 100 percent of the time, they have left me for men who later dumped them. I’ve refused to take anyone back. So I move forward. Now the issue is my wife of five years is falling in love with her lover. I see it coming. We’ve talked and we both realize our marriage is coming to an end.
There is no dating site for something like this. The stigma is that it’s a fetish, but it’s not. It’s the type of love I find meaningful. I’ve learned years ago there exist hundreds of thousands of men like me (which was a shocking revelation), and millions of spouses cheat. Why is it harder to find full love this way, while dishonest, cheating couples appear to have a better chance at success not doing it the way I’m doing it? Should I just hide it again? Is it possible the lying is actually creating healthier situations? I know cheating ends many marriages. But there appear to be a lot that still make it after affairs. I don’t want to be alone. I feel like this lifestyle needs to come into the light more so it’s less of a taboo thing and more of an acceptable form of love.