Have You Had A Closet Case?

I have had many, OP. There is no consistency. Some have been absolutely wild and passionate, and some have been very rigid and not up for much experimentation or spontaneity. I will say, though, that the vast majority of them have been bottoms, and prefer to suck, rather than get sucked, which makes senses, considering both are activities they can not share with their wives.

Do they normally go for anal, R1, or is this more taboo than oral?

Always bottoms, some won’t even kiss on the mouth.

Have had so many. They are usually very seasoned veterans. Used to the double life. The wildest I had was a young guy who was about to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend and wanted a last hurrah. He was an absolute hunk. One of the best bodies I've ever had. He destroyed my ass like he was going to be executed he next day. I bled for 3 days. But boy was he handsome!

[quote] How do they react to finally being with a guy?

They have been with guys. They have been experimenting with sex since they were adolescents. Everyone does. They just lie about it to their wives and to their kids and to their extended families and to their employers and to absolutely everyone they meet, everywhere they go.

Most importantly, they lie to themselves. If you ever talk to one of these guys and you listen to what they have to say, you'll soon see how damaged they are by their gutless deception. Everything is a house of cards. If there is a break in the lie, then everything collapses. It makes them crazy after a while. They are out of touch with any objective reality and are immersed in the fraud they have constructed. They expose all their 'loved ones' to enormous hurt and harm, but they don't care. They don't care enough to fix any of it. They are small, shallow, cowardly, and very selfish people.

I'm told that many are masochists.

I was in my early 30s when I first did something with a guy. I was very resistant to doing very much--lots of oral and body contact stuff. I still do not enjoy anal sex in any way. The last thing I was willing to do was kiss, and now it's what I love doing the most and usually need it to get and stay hard.

Are you bi, R7?

Probably but didn’t know it.

r8, yes, but I'm not married. I do sometimes get judgy about closeted gay and/or bi guys cheating on their wives.

And yes, I'm sexually attracted to both sexes, but in all honesty, I don't want a relationship with anyone. I fuck around with guys more because it's easier and cheaper (no wining and dining necessary.)

R10 proves that fish are all about $$$. No $10?. No love you long time!

I had a married FB who was the biggest bottom I had ever encountered—he would bottom for anyone at any time—bathhouses, bookstores, bars, with hired escorts.

He proudly called himself totally bi

I am completely gay, and have fucked many "straight" married men ; they have been unbelievably sexy and into it, some of the best sex I ever had. I would occasionally run into one of them with the family at Target or some supermarket, and it was amusing to watch their reactions , which were mostly bemused and shy.

I had sex with several men who had wives or girlfriends, and only messed around with other guys on the down low. That was when I was much younger. I don't think I'd bother too take the bait at this point.

Hot, R4.

I had two in the last few years. One was very friendly, not out, just liked mutual oral, a little chit chat, then go. He'd text me when he was free. His claim was that his girlfriend hated giving oral. I saw him out twice, both times with said girlfriend, and we did not acknowledge each other. Sadly, he married her, they moved an hour away. I saw him one time after he was married. I actually feel bad for him.

The other guy tried to be super mysterious - he would show up with sunglasses, a baseball cap, very quiet. This was a couple of years ago - in the days of Craigslist personals. I actually looked at his driver's license one time when he was showering, then checked him out on FB - married, two little kids. Anyway, he started out just wanting mutual oral, then he asked if I was into rimming, as he'd never had that done before. I said sure, but explained how he needed to be super clean, etc. That eventually led to "want to try fucking me?" We did it a couple times, but he was so tight/nervous it wasn't really fun. He also moved. Boooo. I miss the no-strings "straight" guys.

How did you meet all those closet cases? I guess they are not on Grindr if they are closeted.

R17 My few were from an ad on Craigslist looking for "no strings attached, occasional discreet hookup" or something slutty like that - can't remember how I worded it, exactly. I think the closeted guys might be too chicken to actually download Grindr, particularly if they are in a straight relationship. I miss those Craigslist personals.

Quite a few, actually. In my experience, they were all about cock and cum, no anal, but sucking and swallowing like there was no tomorrow.

R3 Agree. Vast majority were absolutely ravenous animals in bed. Almost exclusively all bottoms and for about half kissing and especially kissing on the lips was absolutely off limits. About 10 married guys over the past 3 - 4 years and all through the gym (LTF). Still hook up with 3 of them on a somewhat frequent basis.

[quote] He was an absolute hunk

I'll bet his fiancee was one foxy lady too

#WordsFromThe70s

In my 20s I hooked up with a lot of guys who were not out.

Most of them were only into oral, very conscious about not doing anything risky, and a mix of hesitant and passionate.

Two of them were tops who liked having threeways--they'd find us a bottom but then they'd want to make out with me while they were fucking the bottom and he was blowing me or vice versa. Very bro/frat vibe to the whole thing as they treated the bottom like some sorority ho and me like I was one of their frat bros.

I'd say 3/4 of them were pretty much unclockable, you would not realize they were gay or into guys if you met them, the other 1/4 were in the "sorry, everyone knows" category.

There were also a couple who'd freak out the minute they came and the guilt would kick in, they completely shut down at that point.

No idea what became of them--we were all in our 20s then, none of them were married with kids, and so they may have eventually come out. Most seemed to be under the impression that all gay guys were Jack from W&G and were surprised to find gay guys who were "you know, normal."

I remember my first married bottom. After a few times together he exploded out of the closet, divorced his wife (losing everything in the process), became a huge pass-around bottom in our area and settled into a fabulous life as a DC attorney with an equally fabulous flight attendant husband. I'm sure many of you DL'ers have had him.

I think most of the headless torsos on Grindr are clostrs.

That frat bro thing was mega hot, R22!

You will find these guys often at the baths. Not long ago, I tricked with a guy there. After we were done, he pulled out his phone and wanted to show me pics of the wife and kids. He said he was so proud of them.

Jesus Christ!

I got out of there in a flash.

R23, lol!

R26, did his name rhyme with Revolta by any chance? 😂

[quote] You will find these guys often at the baths.

Another post from last century

Do they tend to be fat? Depressed by repression?

R17, there are definitely closet cases on grindr

Been there, done that

Exactly what R1 said. I saw a married guy for several years and he was a total bottom and could orgasm just getting fucked. He told me that when he was at school he and a male friend would have sex, they didn't see it as gay it was just getting off. He was the bottom in this arrangement and I guess it left an impression. I met several married guys and most were bottoms. My best memories from my slut days included married or straight closeted guys I guess some of them were legit bi I guess.

Closet cases are my bread and butter. Most do not want to kiss, which is a bummer, but okay. About half are tops, who only want head. They sit back with their eyes closed and, usually, come quickly, and disappear in a flash. Many want to have my dick in their mouth while I blow them, but these guys start thrusting pretty fast, blow their load, and don't finish me off.

And then the bottoms, who want it doggy style. They are rock hard, difficult to penetrate, but when you get into it, they seem to enjoy getting plowed. They also seem to come fast, but luckily I do, too, when I'm topping.

I guess the common denominator is they come fast.

A few times I have run into them while shopping or at a movie theater, when we are with our respective spouses and/or families. Before we hook up I assure them I am discreet, and if we ever see each other, they learn that I mean it. Once, at a Lowe's store, one of them tailed me into the restroom and wanted a quick blowie in the stall. I politely declined.

Years ago, at the height of the AOL chat room days, I was in my early 20’s and started chatting with a guy in Staten Island m4m. Turns out after a little bit of chatting we discovered we went to high school together and graduated the same year. Both of us were hesitant to reveal our identities to each other but eventually we did. Turned out he was this hot, hairy Italian that I was never friends with, per se, but we had been in school together since grade school, so we knew exactly who the other was. The first time we met up (we were both still living at home with our parents), I snuck him into my basement apartment late at night. He was amazing. Big, fat cut cock. Totally uninhibited. After the first time, he made it clear to me that if he wanted to fool around again, he’d let me know and not the other way around. He was very reticent to let me contact him and let me know in no uncertain terms he was straight. He eventually became a NYC firefighter. Started dating this girl who IMO was way beneath him looks wise. I heard from him less and less and the last time we fucked around, he told me he was getting engaged and couldn’t do this anymore. From time to time, I’ve seen his wife’s Facebook (he’s one of those straight dudes who thinks social media is gay). Neither of them has aged well. Both gained a LOT of weight. They had two kids. They look happy.

Little do they know I secretly recorded us fucking twice. Used a digital camera that took video (this was 2004). Hid it in the closet of my spare bedroom in my apartment. To this day I watch it from time to time and jack off. I laugh and think “I could send this to his wife”. Not that I would ever.

R34, filming someone having sex without their permission is gross

One of the hotter, random hookups my husband and I had was with a closet case.

I was headed to Whole Foods early one morning, stopped at a crosswalk, when this guy came up, jogging slowly. He stopped for the light as well and noticed me checking him out. We each made the requisite advances, but I noticed his bulging shorts flex when I “warned” him that if he came home with me my husband would be there too.

He turned out to be one hell of an eager bottom. We tagteamed him; for the man behind him, he’d reach around to pull the cock in deeper, and for the man in front, he’d open his throat and swallow that cock even further. We fucked in so many positions and explored so much of each others’ bodies. He is the one who opened my eyes to my armpit fetish. We taught him that men kissing wasn’t as gay as he feared. My husband and I each came twice, matching his total of 4 cumshots.

In the middle of all this, during a breather, we made the obligatory small talk and he revealed he was in town on business from Ohio, married, and closeted. He’d messed around with a few guys but we were his first couple. When he left I almost offered him our number, to stay in touch, but i felt it wouldn’t necessarily be accepted. Not wanting to ruin the whole experience, I opted just open the door for him, wish him well, and occasionally remind my husband of him as we fuck.

Through the years I have hooked up with a few married guys. As others have said, they tend to be power bottoms. A couple of years ago I met a guy via Craigslist and went to his hotel room. He was drop-dead gorgeous (middle eastern/latin ancestry), in his thirties, with a buff gym bod. He told me he worked for the state department, so between that and his wife and kids he had to be very discreet. He wanted me to fuck him bareback, but not cum inside him. He was insatiable! At the time it had been awhile since I had managed two times in an encounter –But this guy pulled six loads out of me! I'd pull out and cum all over his chest and belly, and the minute I lay back on the bed he would suck me until I was hard again. By the sixth time I don't think I had anything left to shoot. I don't recall him shooting at all... I offered to come back for another visit while he was in town, but he said that he made it a rule to never hook up with the same guy twice, as he felt that could lead to discovery. I had no contact information other than his CL ad, so I never saw him again.

Absolutely one of the best fucks of my life, made all the more amazing because looks-wise, he was so outta my league. He said he had a thing for older, "normal" guys, but I suspect it was his idea that guys who weren't as hot didn't get laid as often, and were therefore less likely to have anything contagious... True enough in my case. Craigslist shut down its personals section soon after, but it wasn't much of a loss, and no other guy I'd met there could come close to this one.

In my early 30s. I’ve had “str8” and married “str8” guys. I find nothing common other than closet. Every imaginable kind of kink and sex. Never had one tell me no kissing. Some kiss and other “deep” tongue kiss. Essentially all the things they don’t do with their wives we do.

I was in my late 20s. I was bi and didn't have a lot of experience with men as an adult. I met a trainer at the gym. He wasn't my trainer but that's why he was there. We in the stretching area which was a long narrow hallway. He wasn't wearing underwear and his amazing dick was hanging out the leg of his shorts. We both laughed about it, and that broke the ice and we started joking around every time we ran into each other. Whenever I saw him head to the stretching area I would follow him and try to bond with him. (He told me he was engaged.)

Eventually we had conversation about unintentional boners at the gym, and how he handles them since he freeballs. He said he jerks off in his car between clients sometimes. I invited him over to my place since I lived down the street, to "relieve himself". He came over, I popped in my only porn DVD and we jerked off together. This happened a couple times whenever I would run into him at the gym. Then one day he asked me to put my dick in his mouth while he jerked off. We eventually 69ed at my request. That was awesome. But that's as far as things went. We had made plans for him to come over this one night, and we were going to fuck, but he never showed up. I never heard from him.

Then one day he called me and said he could never see me again. Plus, he wanted me to lose his number and never contact him. He was getting married in couple weeks and he didn't want me to contact him because it was going to be too tempting. I was crushed. I felt like we were now BEST friends. I really liked him and was looking forward to a long fulfilling friendship with him, but he dumped me and he was really cold when he did it.

About 6 or 7 months later I came home and looked at the CallerID and noticed that he had called but didn't leave a message. My heart stopped. I almost called him back but chickened out. The rejection i felt when he dumped me, left a deep and lasting scar on me emotionally. Maybe I fell in love with him, because it took years for me to get over that.

I would like to add to what R5 said (which is all true) and say that many of them have serious mood swings and anger issues due to them not living the life they truly want. There have even been a few guys that I immediately stopped seeing because I got “Looking For Mr. Goodbar” vibes from them and I was afraid they might snap on me because they were so mentally unstable from all the lies and deceit.

To make matters worse, many of them also have problems with alcohol.

I'm going to throw out that many of those "married power bottoms" mentioned in these threads were in fact gay men who figured out that claiming to be married or bi was a great way to attract attention on the apps (CL or Grindr) and also to attract the sort of masculine guys who were also looking for "DL" or "bi with girlfriend" types.

I know a couple of (out gay) guys who would go all in on that ruse, they even had fake wedding rings. It was sort of role play for them I guess.

I will admit myself to using the "Bi Curious" or "Bi, GF at home" ruse when I was on the road back in the day, you'd get quadruple the number of responses and much better quality guys, plus, if I was in a city for work for a few days, it wasn't like I was ever going to see them again.

^^I say that because almost all of the closeted guys I hooked up with were super paranoid about STDs in general and HIV in particular and would often stick to oral only as a result. (They were pretty up front about it in their ads/profiles. As in Absolutely No Anal! Oral Only!)

R29 I agree. I'm still trying to find the local 'baths'

Only one and what a stud. He had the most amazing body. Small stubby cock but amazing ass. I miss our little get togethers.

There's Flex in Atlanta & LA

The people romanticizing being with a closet case fail to mention that you better get ready to be on a mental and emotional roller coaster. They will only care about not getting caught and ultimately could care less about your feelings. They will make plans with you and then constantly cancel at the last minute because they get cold feet, because they worry about being seen with you out in public, or because something has come up with the girlfriend or wife. You will always be on the back burner.

I've never had emotional issues with the married men I've been with. One regular fuck bud became a good friend, and when he moved out of town about 7 years ago, we continue to text or email on a fairly regular basis. A few others have also become friends, although I wouldn't say I've become as close to them as to the one who moved away. I know they must be screwed up a little bit because of the duplicitous lives they lead, but I have not seen any manifestation of it. The one guy who remained a friend completely lacks empathy and is guarded, but he is a high-powered corporate counsel, so my guess is that he is that way because, well...he's a successful lawyer. Not to trash lawyers, but I have found that successful corporate lawyers have more emotion issues than closeted men.

I'm surprised this thread is approx. 6 hours old and only generated 47 responses. I saw it earlier today and thought for sure it would be in at least part III by now. After all, bagging a "straight" guy is every DL queen's finest west dream.

R48 My finest west dream is cluster-fucking at a dude ranch.

Well, what are your stories, R48?

West dream?

An Adam West Dream!

R6 are you my ex-wife? I completely despise your POV. You don't OWN people. If the man you love needs a bit of male play, what is it to you??? Why should you be hurt in any way for something you can't offer. What harm for the kids exactly? You are exactly the kind of judgemental kunt frau who DESERVES a bi husband. You don't know what love is. You're a selfish heartless cunt who would drag the children into you drama and twist their minds into resenting a loving father. You went to the Mia Farrow school of mature relationships. You are a self centered sociopath. Who the fuck do you think you are? Shame on you. I hope you die from ovarian cancer. Fuck you

Sorry R6 I meant R5... Shame on you. Shame on both of you

Wow, you need to start saving some top dollar for all that therapy you desperately need, R53! Now, baby!

R55 this is for you and all the kunts who give shit to their bi husband instead of loving and supporting them. A hot bi husband is to be cherished

I wonder what percentage of the guys described upthread are really closet cases and how many are just non-discriminating guys in need of sex. It's like a sexual orientation on its own- you don't really care where you stick it, as long as you get some.

I think the guys who sit back with their eyes closed while they're being serviced, as well as the guys who hook up to get kinky stuff their wives won't do fall under that category. Not really gay, not bi, just horny and non-discriminating.

Go home, Julianne, you're drunk.

SUCK my DICK Colin!!!

NO!

Colin you motherfucking asshole, who the FUCK, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE , I come in here, I participate in the post, you ask me questions, you ask me my life, what's wrong??? SHAME ON YOU TOO

FUCK YOU R56! FUCK YOU! NOW MY YOUTUBE ALGORITHM IS INFECTED WITH THAT CUNT JULIANNE MOORE! SHE'S ALL OVER MY HOME PAGE NOW! I FUCKING HATE THAT YELLOW TOOTHED FRECKLY CUNT! HOW DARE YOU BAIT ME INTO CLICKING THAT LINK! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU TIL THE DAY I DIE! I HATE YOU TIL THE DAY YOU DIE! DIE YOU MOTHER FUCKER! JUST DIE!

I got hooked up with a closeted married guy by his wife. The wife and I had a couple classes together in university (we were both around 30 and there to upgrade rather than the typical early 20s kids), became friends, then she invited me to her birthday party, where I meet her unbelievably cute, friendly husband. I flirted very hard with him because I didn't know he was her husband, and was shocked when he told me. There was intense palpable mutual attraction, I wanted his cute little ass soooo bad, I was horrified thinking it could never be.

Next time I see the wife, she's kind of quiet and circumspect. You see, they grew up together in a crazy ashram cult-like situation and had been married under weird circumstances, their marriage based more on mutual friendship and membership in this cult and a lot of mystical Hindu-ish destiny bullshit. They escaped by applying to university and getting scholarships -- they were both very bright, she became an agronomist and he a software engineer. They stayed married and had a daughter at the very young (for these days) age of 23.

But the husband, around age 25, finally revealed to the wife his (long-suspected, she revealed) desperate desire for cock. She was pretty open-minded and wanted him to be happy but worried he'd leave her for a man, so she'd never allowed it.

Then she met me and I met her husband and he told her he found me attractive and thought I felt the same and wanted her to see if I could handle a FB situation. I was uncomfortable with it but *fuck* was he cute, so I got over that. She was very businesslike making the arrangement and in retrospect seemed a bit defeated and sad but all I could think was I was about to land that cute little ass.

He was only OK in bed. Very willing, just lacking talent and experience, I guess. A real sweety who I think felt had been streamlined into a life he didn't *really* want. Deep conflict, he loved his wife but saw her as a friend he'd happened to have a kid with, but above all didn't want to hurt his daughter. He told me his ideal situation would be to remain married and a father but have a boyfriend living next door, and there was no way I was doing that, I strictly limited it to FB.

I called it off after a few meetings because he was mediocre in bed and also deeply conflicted in a way I couldn't see any way to help him with.

There is a triggered closet case amongst us, gents.

R57, regular horny guys don't go on gay apps

Maybe not every regular horny guy, R65, but definitely the category I described. I haven't been with one myself but my friends have and they seem to always pick up this type at the gyms, not the apps.

Many. They are usually the first to request being fucked without a condom in my experience.

[quote] [R34], filming someone having sex without their permission is gross

And yet, often profitable.

R57, you make valid points.

r66 how do you identify and convince the ones offline at gyms? Actual social skills needed?

R70, as far as I know, the straights first fraternize, then flirt and expect an offer.

R63, couldn't you have taught him to be better in bed?

I've had many. The repressed ones on business trips or religious conventions are the best, because they're ready to explode holding in all that pent up desire for a good f*ck with another man. Also, especially outside the US, especially in Rome, consider some of the hot Roman Catholic priests. No matter what, I say make them do the right thing and wear a condom or make them wear one if you're bottoming because I've assumed they're probably not on PrEP or before that, that they weren't getting regular HIV/STI testing like many gay men I know and I surely didn't want either to have their wives/girlfriends/fiancées end up with one.

Yes, the repressed republicans are the nastiest “come over and fuck me bareback” fuckers you will meet. I fucked a guy while his wife was out of town. Picture of her on the nightstand and a crucifix on the wall. Fucked him hard and shit in his ass. He refused to let me use a condom. Then he had me piss on him while he laid in the bathtub.

I once fooled around with a guy who was so new to gay sex that he kept muttering “I’m touching another man’s dick” with the same sense of wonder that you’d use if you discovered Ali Baba’s cave of treasure.

R75 lmaoooo!!!!

[quote] Fucked him hard and shit in his ass.

Huh?

R75 had me rolling, too.

I don't want it after it's been in a fish. No way. Deal's off.

I’ve met a few closer cases but one sticks out in my memory. I met both in bathhouses, years ago.

Paul was an older guy (I like daddies) with a gorgeous, tight body. There was such amazing chemistry between us when we fucked. I’d meet him a few times over a year in the bathhouse. He told me he had a kid in college and that he and his wife don’t have sex anymore. While he never hooked up with men early in his life, he felt he finally had to experience sex with men so used bathhouses as his outlet. The last time I saw him, he kissed me as he was leaving the bathhouse and said, “Next time I see you, I might have the courage to ask you out on a date.”

Soon after that, however, I got a job in another city and never saw him again.

R90, damn! Do you have any idea what happened to him?

I meant R80, of course

This is why they hate us.

Married men are plentiful in bathhouses. Some fat and old, and others, surprisingly young and sexy.

I met my sexual ideal at a bathhouse— olive skin with a gorgeous torso covered in a thick mat of hair, and stunning smile, expert kisser, and powerful top.

He was an accountant who lived with his young daughter and wife in suburbs, and just such a sweet guy.

We clicked instantly, both sexually and mentally. He said I was exactly his type. In a normal situation, I would have dated and married this beautiful, smart man. He gave me his email address, but I knew I would fall hopelessly in love so willfully threw his email away.

A few month later, while perusing CL personals, I came upon a man who was looking for guys exactly like me. There was a picture of that gorgeous torso! I was about to reply but held back.

After about a month, I decided I should reply, at least to just have sex with him again because it was so wonderful the first time. But, right then, CL canceled its personals section!!!!!

I’d give anything to see him again, but now it’s been years.

[QUOTE] This is why they hate us.

We’re the ones who should be hating them for taking bareback loads and potentially passing all kinds of diseases to their wives and girlfriends.

R82, he’s likely still a regular in the NYC bathhouses.

He was such a hot top, he would be in big demand. But, then, we’d see each other there and spend a few hours in a room together kissing passionately, exploring, and making love.

He was an expert kisser and fucked like a champ... gentle and rhythmic and more aggressive as he got closer to cumming. He had such sensitive nipples which I gently fingered and licked until he would get almost wild-eyed... and then I’d pull back to calm him down. Then we stop and talk a bit about our personal lives... and slowly start up again. His cock was so rock hard and fit perfectly up my ass—just the right size to hit the magic spots and make my toes curl.

Plus he had that tightly muscled, salt and pepper-haired daddy look that is so sexy to me.

I’ve never since found someone with whom I was so sexually synched.

That said, when I moved to my new job, I also made a decision to prioritize dating over just sex so stopped the bathhouses and the one night stands. I doubt we would have ever done anything much outside the bathhouse. Plus, he was such a horndog, he loved the whole bathhouse vibe and the unlimited sex he could have there.

[Quote] This is why they hate us.

We’re making their men gay!!

r86 pretty sure I've read this one before, Amazon sale on amateur erotica or something.

R86 hot hot HOT!!!

I've had a few. After I got out of a relationship after 13 years (still in my 30s), it seemed like the only guys I attracted were married and/or closeted guys who posed as straight. I had one first-timer who was a married fireman. He was about 5'9 but muscular, bald and hairy with a mustache and he was hung. The sex, though, was pretty mediocre. He wouldn't kiss but said he was a top. When we fucked (safely with a condom), he pumped like two or three times then came. That's when he admitted it was his first time. I didn't even get anything out of it. He messaged me a lot but I never responded. Very disappointing.

A good one I had was a married construction worker. 5'11, 185, muscular, mustache and goatee, shaved head, very quiet guy, and very hung (9 inches). We hooked up on the regular for about a year. We hooked up about once or twice a week, less so during his busy times in the summer. He was a very good top, like to fuck more than once when we'd meet up, but he wouldn't kiss. After about 3-4 months, we were fucking and locked eyes. I moved my head toward his and he did the same toward mine. We finally kissed and he busted a load right away. After that, he was finally into kissing and that made it so much better.

I left that city for a different job in another city and we never hooked up again. A few years later, I was visiting friends in my old city when we ran into each other in a convenience store. We chatted for just a little bit. He had four kids and one of his younger sons was using the bathroom. It was kind of sad. He said he met other guys from time to time, but he never met anyone he clicked with like me again, at least at that point. I could tell he wasn't happy living his closeted life. He just seemed sad. I said goodbye when his son came out of the bathroom and never saw him again.

It seems like there are always stories about closeted pastors on grindr.....has anyone here ever hooked up with a holy roller?

So how much of the closet cases get off on the taboo element of it all?

Why would they not go with what satisfied them? Do men still feel the pressure to be closeted 10 years after gay marriage was legalized?

r92 I think a lot of them get off on clandestine sex. I'm openly gay, and I definitely get off on clandestine sex with down low "straight" guys. The secretiveness, the risk of getting caught (for him), the (supposed) forbiddenness -- hot.

R90, you should have given the fireman a second chance. The quick shooting is absolutely standard for first timers.

HOES

[quote]This is why they hate us.

“They” hate us no matter what we do, so who gives a fuck?

I scare most closet cases away because I lack shame and they are wrapped up in shame. This idea that people need their own time to come out of the closet case is wrong advice. No one should out you. But it's not a tea party- it's your life. That you close off your happiness for phony public relations( money, wife and family, job, parental relationship, faith) is emotionally dangerous because all your life is build on an illusion. Someone or something will pull the curtain someday. Better to honest with yourself, seize control of your life, and move forward. You hurt fewer people in the end and you create a self-respect that can never be dismantled.

R74 How do you shit in someone's ass? I apologize for being ignorant.

R98 OMFG! That should have read shot in his ass! Damn! I can’t even blame autocorrect on that one

R99 Thank you! I'm new to this and still learning so the 'shit in the ass' thing had me confused, especially since you said that you later pissed on him...

Yes.

R36 holy shit! that was me.

When I was younger, I had many good times with blokes who thought they were straight. I don't mind training either, if needed. Even into my thirties, I'm meet first time tryers... I don't believe any were married. No matter how compelling, I couldn't get it on with a married man. I would be utterly turned off, and even if I were still hot for him, it wouldn't be worth the icky feelings afterward. It's just not something I can feel good about, having been cheated on myself. Golden Rule. (and self-respect)

I've blown a straight acquaintance once, and although really hot, felt differently about it immediately after he said he was back with his girl. He tried kissing me several times after the BJ, but I didn't want to be with him again. Single and closeted, or bi first timers can be really hot though... they really need it, and naturally they're quite excited to try something new or taboo.

R100 What a disgusting visual I painted with that typo!

Maybe it's because I am married to a man, but I enjoy the hell out of hooking up with closet cases. Yep, I cheat on my husband. The lines of demarcation are clearer when we are both cheating on the DL. I just prefer it that way.

Wowza, R102, really???

R102 what did/do you do for work? And are you still married? Enquiring minds wanna know!

R105 so you’re like the Jay Mohr & Scott Wolf characters in GO!.

Do you try to guess who the other is cheating with, like it’s a game? Or is it just a depressing fact of your lives that you both just politely ignore and don’t talk about?

It happens. I don't look for closeted men but it's pretty easy to tell that's what they are and what their profile is after a couple minutes. There are:

The hard-core sex-pig married (or engaged/living with a woman) men who are indiscreet and hit on any man in view.

The straight-living men who treat their gay urges the same way that serial killers describe their patterns. "It just builds and builds and finally I can't control it, and I do things. Things I regret." Some are very extreme and can be scary, because of how they loathe themselves - and their male partners - once they have sex.

The "I get frisky when I drink/get stoned" types. The next morning they claim no memory and expect anyone else to have no memory, either. Or they act like it's no big deal.

The bisexual claimants (or actual bisexuals).

The touch-me-not blow jobbers, who only want to suck off other men, preferably other "straight" men. Public sex, tearooms, parks, office bj setups for regulars. I knew a married jeweler who had at least 50 members of his clientele, and most of them were so-called straight men.

The straight men who just like a regular release. They only want a blow job and no other contact. A lot of them started as adolescents and it just became part of their sexual repertoire.

The straight-living men who are somewhere in a process of change or discovery. They'll eventually come out and divorce their wives, or clamp down in denial.

And more.

Plus there's are gay guys who pretend to be "straight" to boost their appeal.

There's a big difference between the men who just want to get off and the men who really are turned on by intimacy with men. A lot of the latter treat anal sex, usually bottoming, as the ultimate goal and fear. Although the prevalence of porn and gay matters has somewhat lessened the taboo bullshit about bottoming.

And different cultures and ethnic groups have different approaches to it all. I know a young Greek who invited his older male fb to his wedding, although they never had sex again. I have an African American acquaintance and Pakistani friend who are married and family men who call once in a while to get together. We talk and visit and don't always have sexual contact. Pregnancies are a big time for reaching out, I notice. Stress and need!

Almost exclusively these days.

Oh, I meant to apologize for being overblown and clinical and probably obvious at R109. I know this is mostly a jo thread, with the "HOT! MORE!" vibe.

I'm been "dating" one for 3 years. He reminds me all the time how straight he is and how he'll probably end up with a woman. He wants me to play with and fuck his "pussy" but has no interest in even touching my asshole.

You guys are really romanticizing this whole thing. Nowadays most of the closeted guys are not gay, they are bisexual. Most gay guys no longer feel a need to be closeted. And the bisexual men who step out on their wives aren't really "closeted", unless you consider straight guys who cheat on their wives to be closeted too. No, these bi guys are just garden variety cheaters. You guys really need to visit some of these bi message boards to see how they view their interaction with men, it is purely sexual in nature, many of them view it as a fetish.

^ And there ain't nothing wrong with that.

Straight cock tastes better than gay cock.

Gay cock tastes like shit.

Oi, stop with that self hate!

R109/111, I enjoyed your post very much. Very interesting breakdown of the types. I'd love to hear more observations, if you have any.

r115 and r116 = the self-loathing brigade

Hope you get bashed by a straight guy

They were taken aback when I would laugh and have fun during sex. They never imagined sex as a "letting go" before, but some deadly serious chore.

One thing I remember hearing on more than one occasion was that it was easier for them to let loose with guys, that they felt they could be more wild and that they were relieved that they didn't have to do all the work. With women they felt that they had to run the whole show.

I think it's fine to lead a straight life and have an occasional benefit just as it is fine to only give an occasional benefit to a straight self identifyng man. I love to suck cock, I don't need emotional connection and I don't want it either. If the two sides are satisfied, I don't see why all the sexual justice warriors should interfere. Live and let live, people. Okay? Thanks, so generous of you

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as both sides are clear about what they want from the start, R121. If not, hurt feelings are possible and please don't shame people who do have the ability to feel something other than just sexual arousal.

R122, one of the big problems in life is that when things are clear and clearly expressed, some people, generally fucked up , or emotionally scarred in some way, still won't listen, or still will nurture expectations, or still have a ' plan' to transform situations according to their desire/delusion. I am glad I am not like that. Because it can only end in tears... And even STD' s

And having the ability to feel and also being able to handle casual sex is possible and TBH, better than being desperate and systematically associate sex with feeling. That being said, everything must be clearly expressed from the start. But if you chase ' straight ' married dude, don't expect romance or consistency.. I think that one is pretty obvious

I think you are projecting something here, R124. Plus, everyone has the right to the completely natural feelings that something's wrong when you see someone living a lie and dragging a trusting wife and children, and lovers, along for the ride. I'm taking about the real closet cases here.

R125 Supreme Judge of Morality. A bisex man is NOT to be allowed near children.

It seems you are arguing about two different scenarios

One, where a straight guy occasionally wants to get some no strings sex and may go on an app to find it. You both may not ever know each other's real names and will likely never see each other again.

The other, where there's a whole relationship thing going on and the gay guy is sort of a mistress. Or, it seems, is under the impression that he's the mistress;

Don't twist my words, R126. Leading a double life and lying is not good for a family, sorry to break it to you (as it seems to be exactly what you're doing, if that defensiveness is anything to go by.)

Yes he knocked over my favorite lamp while we were having sex and I threw him out and said go back to your FAT wife and fucked up daughters.

I'm always surprised at the number of "straight" guys who want to fuck, both as a top and a bottom, bareback.

R130, of course, they want to feel the dick

No lady, I was very clear from the start, but my ' loving ' wife took every opportunity she could to give me shit because of the ' GAY thing'. Every time I was disagreeing with her, or contradicting her, etc I was GAY and deserved hell. But when she had her way, she had' 'never had an orgasm' ' before me. I finally told the cunt to find some way of supporting herself and someone else to do the chores because I had had sufficiently. I didn't see my child for 2 years. She didn't dare tell the judge it was because I was GAY. But it was pretty clear. She was sent to psychiatric examination and I immediately won share custody.

I am a clost case. Bi, married to a woman with kids and I hook up with guys often. Always oral only. Rimming only when clean, i.e. I get rimmed. Occasionally when I travel, I am able to host and I hook up with other married guys who are very comfortable with this as they know I won't meet them in the local supermarket! Wildest coincidence was when I met a one-time FB in a walking tour in new Orleans and we met in NY ! Our wives actually started talking with each other!!

R133: could you imagine being in a relationship with a man?

R132, if she was such a "cunt" why did you marry her in the first place?

Wow, R132, you sound like a dream man!

For those of you who are missing craigslist, it is still working and alive. Just go to the "Community" section and then "Missing Connections". Regarding topic, a married straight man contacted me over the weekend (via cl) but he had to use a condom for everything (even head), I passed. Met others and everyone has turned out to be okay or great.

Or, you can use doublelist but craigslist is still the winner.

R125, the holy man decided we should marry each other

I don't believe you guys who claim so-called straight but closeted guys are immediately into fucking and getting fucked. Nope.

^I don't believe you understand the power of testosterone and a high sex drive. Nope.

For me this is a perfect example of: It's hot in porn but not real life. It's not about the closet per se, it's the lack of authenticity that's gross to me.

A story for the fraus: Once at an extremely busy NJ Parkway Rest stop on a Friday night, I saw a woman looking at postcards or something and her husband went to the men's room. I bought something from the vending machine and went in to the bathroom where every stall and urinal was filled. I stood there waiting and I heard unmistakable gagging and coming sounds. 5 seconds later out walks this hot black dude and I catch a glimpse of this ugly married guy licking his lips. I take a piss, wash my hands, and when I walk out I see him, waiting for her, still looking at crap to buy. This happens every day, every where. Most guys come in 2 minutes or less and these kind of pigs have it down to an art-form and they plan their routines around it.

R 134, yes I would like to be in a relationship with a man. I'm not looking to leave my wife and kids. I was in a semi-regular relationship with a guy. We would meet 2÷3 times a week, sex and / or just coffee. It lasted a year and half. I had told him I wasn't ready for a life change. We parted.

R142, serious question. So you want to be married and you want a relationship with a man. How do you think this will work out? Do you think your wife and your male partner will be happy with this arrangement?

I never fucked a guy when I was married to my wife. Not 5 years before, not 3 years after the divorce. Yet she knew I liked guys. I believe in authenticity. But she accused me of cheating anyway. It didn't matter what I had or hadn't done when she was trying to win sole custody. Cunt.

Then the first man I fucked after the divorce was the shrink. Yes, I am the OP who let the shrink fuck me. And his wife's office was across the hall. He fucked me on the couch, he fucked me on the carpet (raw, he only had 1 condom and begged me). He saved my life.

R144 = misogynist cunt

Yes R146. And I gave her cancer. I did. She deserved it. That 's how toxic I am. Toxic and masculine

R147 is a Republican MRA. Ignore him.

I've met a number of married closet cases in bathhouses and such and they are often obsessed with sex--on apps, visiting bathhouses.

So voracious.

R147, etc - you sound like an absolute psychopath.

Yes Fraus. I am a psychopath. I am your worst nightmare. HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA

Yeah, you're not okay, sis.

R133, I hope your wives were exchanging the names of their matrimonial lawyers.

R98, R100 AND R99 I think that is the hardest I have ever laughed on DL. Sitting here with tears rolling down my face at work. I'm very thankful to hear no one shit in anyone else's ass. And yes R144 and R147 (prob the same person) is a psycho, already had him blocked.

Porn is free Mary.

R109 what about a man who no longer makes love to his wife who had a fantasy about sucking dick and cuckolding his wife, who was bicurious in his younger days, only slept with a handful of women? Can some simply be bi? Not necessarily closeted?

Closeted just means that the person is not out, open, public about the truth of his sexuality.

Bisexual men get to special passes on this. When they married, at least in western cultures, they probably took a vow to 'forsake all others.' That means all others. Not just females. No exceptions.

They need to deal with that looooong before they marry and not drag others into the cesspool of their cowardice and their closet.

R157 = Mrs Hugh Jackman

Sorry. That should read, "Bisexual men get no special passes on this."

Thumb typing. My apologies.

R147 Weirdo...

R102 ... really? We would like it if this was true.

One thing the married "straight" men I fooled around with had in common is that they hated their wives. They were pretty blatant about how horrible the harpy women they had married were and decided that the only way to get sex was to switch to guys when they got horny.

Yup. What R162 says is true. The wives have sexually abandoned the husbands. The have the kids. They have the new last name. They have the additional wage earner. And, surprise, surprise, they all of a sudden no longer like sex and they abandon their marital obligations.

The husband knows that if he divorces, he loses half of everything and loses it to the woman who abandoned him. So he goes on the down low.

The worst lays on the planet. No thanks

I think an unhappy marriage/unpleasant wife is just an excuse for these guys to explore their bisexual side. No shrew ever drove a man into the arms of another man without some foundation already in place.

Not the excuse, R165. It's an absolute invitation.

Omg OP, I remember reading this thread a few weeks ago but DL’s shady search feature wouldn’t let me find it again.

I’ve had an on-again off -again fling with a married guy from the burbs. He claims that he and his wife haven’t had sex in years. Like, what’s the point in staying together. I’m his son’s age, early 20s, so I commented one time about his hot son when I saw his picture in their family room. He was proud of his hot son, which is fine. I just wanted to judge his reaction. The guy did admit that he accidentally ended up fucking one of his son’s HS football teammates. He didn’t notice him until he showed up to one of his son’s games. He didn’t know that his dad was one of the regulars at a bar he’d go to. He said it was hot knowing he bred his son. Child I was so shook. Like who admits that to strangers? I was like maybe I should call the FBI or something.

Anyway, after 5 or 6 hookups at my place and his place he ended showing me secrete videos he would take of Johns he’d bring over the house while the wife was away. That scared the hell out of me. He was probably recording me as well. He claims that he didn’t have a camera back then. This guys is so messy. Stick your dick in him and he’ll tell you about his other flings. Like let’s keep some thing sunder wraps.

As others have said, at their core these married guys are low-key crazy. All the lies and lust makes for an incomplete person. The guy I was with was gym obsessed and very nice so it was hard for me to stay away. But spy cam videos are my limit.

Has anyone ever *pretended* to be a closet case when hooking up? I’ve only done it twice, but both times the guy seemed to get a bit more into it, thinking he was getting some straight cock and really begging to be bred. It was definitely the talking point of their sexy talk.

I imagine it would be like that for me if I were to hook up with a closet case again. There’s a fantasy to it for me.

R130 I’m shocked by the number of straight people that have one-night stands without using condoms.

I started a new job and befriended a couple of straight recent college grads. They claim that condom use is sporadic at best. The best looking one, a tall blond with a million dollar smile (swoon), says he almost never uses a condom. He’s had to buy girls Plan B three times.

I’ve had other straight friends say similar things about condoms. Millennials and Gen-Z are just asking for another HIV type of outbreak to occur given the amount of unsafe sex going on. No straight person should ever say a word about gays barebacking. It’s no wonder that closet cases are quick to hop on a dick without a condom on, they are natural born hoes!

bump

Just had my second session with a closet case, farm boy, builder/carpenter. Once again shot a load in him and sent him on his way. Nice sinewy lean muscle - kisses, loves getting fucked. I'm the first guy to top him, he kept telling me not to stop. Only problem is he smokes.

R169 sorry but I blame the trashy slutty women who are enabling this, not the men.

"[R169] sorry but I blame the trashy slutty women who are enabling this, not the men."

Your sorrow is breaking my heart.

Poor you.

Like the “Best Accidental Male Nudity” revival, doesn’t this one deserve it too?

I had a closeted, married ex-NFL football player (not famous--just some defensive lineman). The guy was huge--6'6", 280 lbs, hairy body, top guy. He'd morphed from football player to dad bod, but I like dad bods. He had 8 inches, too. He was pretty horny. We hooked up on the regular for a couple years before I moved to another city. In that first year he'd be weird sometimes. Sometimes he'd say he had to stop, then a month later I'd get a message that he just had to have my ass. He was pretty sensual and would kiss on the mouth. He loved rimming my ass. I think after the first year he finally started to get over the guilt and the weird disappearing for a few weeks stopped and we were fairly regular. He'd come over for a whole afternoon and we'd fuck 2-3 times.

One time in our second year of hooking up, we had already fucked twice and were wiling away the afternoon. It was about an hour after our second one and we had just stayed in bed chatting. He got up to get ready to go. It was summer, so he put his shorts and t-shirt back on and slipped on his sandals. He'd just washed up. We usually kissed goodbye and while we were doing just that, we started to kiss more passionately. He picked me up and brought me back to the bed and soon we were rolling around naked. I was ready to go when he said shoot, he didn't have any more condoms and neither did I. He said he trusted me and was willing to go bareback. So we did for the first time.

It brought an intensity to that session. We must have fucked for 15-20 minutes, when finally I could feel my third one coming on. He could tell and next thing I knew, I was cumming and making a lot of noise. My second and third ones are super intense compared to my first. My enthusiastic orgasm brought him over the edge. Without even thinking he just thrust in deep and dumped his seed inside me. We were covered in sweat and exhausted. We kissed and spooned for a while. After that it was bare all the way.

I moved away after a couple years of hooking up. Our last time was sweet. He took the whole day off and we fucked all day on and off. When we said our final goodbyes, it was sad. He teared up and said it was hard for him to find guys he could trust and with whom he had a lot of sexual chemistry, then he sat down and cried a bit. He said he thought he was in love with me and it was hard to see me go. I felt really bad. Although the sex was good and he was a good top, I didn't really feel anything intense for him (other than physical) like I have for my partners or steady boyfriends--nothing beyond the physical. I just said it was going to be hard for me, too.

I wonder how he's doing these days. He sent me a few e-mails after I left, but I was slow in responding and then he stopped. His last one said since I wasn't responding fast, I must have moved on. Well, I had moved on even before I left. I wish these closet cases would just come out. Their lives must be miserable.

I have...the sex was good, if slightly rough. He seemed a bit angry.

R175 oh man, the passion between you guys was so intense! That is mindshatteringly hot!

The sexual chemistry was pretty hot, R177! One thing I really liked about him was that he was a gentle giant. He played this brutal sport but was a nice guy and a really gentle top. He was 8 inches and thick, but he was aware he needed to do a slow entry and he read my body perfectly as it slowly accepted his girth and length. He would fuck with a steady rhythm, lock eyes a lot and lots of kissing. The pace would really pick up when he was getting close, which always sent me over the edge. Damn, I'm getting a chub right now!

r175 can I has his email?

R175 Great story. You're obviousy an EST though.

I answered a late night CL ad. I was bored and horny, which is how I ended up outside of a shady apartment building at 3 AM. The guy that answered the door was hotter than expected, mid-20s (like me), nicely built, and Italian looking guy.

He played Nikki Minage’s Anaconda Music Video as I have him head. The lights were completely off, with the exception of the TV. He said that he loved asses but wished his girlfriend had a bigger one. He loved Nikki’s body. I didn’t care as long as I got to service that hot cock.

Anyway, he began dirty talk while I gave him head. I was getting more turned on and was willing to let him finger me. I’m more of a top, but I would have let him hit it that night. Then I started fingering him. He had a nice clean ass. He went to add some spit to his finger when I told him to stop! He had shit on his fingers. It was too dark to see it earlier, but I was serving brownies that night. Safe to say I was not prepared for anal.

He got up to wash his hands before telling me that it ruined the moment. He let me was my hands and put on my clothes before escorting me out the door. Neither of us came and I was kicking myself for being a nasty hoe.

Are there no closet cases in here, past or present? Granted, I haven’t read all the posts but the ones I have read are all about them not from them.

Maybe this deserves a different thread. Por favor?

Do you think there are many closet cases reading the data lounge? It seems kind of risky…

came in like threE SECONDS

I did a deeply closeted married man twenty years ago. Hot sex, but it couldn’t last, as it was obvious that he had no respect for me or his wife. How could he? I had to end it for my own sanity.

Bump bitch at R185

Bump what r186?

Just as roommates and trainers.

Never again.

I haven't had to have a roomate in decades, thank God.

I still have made the mistake of hiring a trainer thinking he can help me get the body I want. (No, not his.) The last one I had wouldn't stop making gay jokes, gay remarks; initially, I thought, well this guy is good. He makes training and working out FUN.

But the jokes I came to discover were a cover for some deep issues. He confides in me that he tried gay sex recently but he didn't like it.

Um. okay. I don't like broccoli, but I don't feel the need to share that. He'd talk about his (female) fiance and marrying her like it was something he 'had' to do.

Closet cases are the worst, especially the ones who never come out