What's an immediate turn off when you deal with a new person?

Weak handshake or overly aggressive handshake. Someone who talks too much. Someone who asks right out of the gate, "so, what do you do?"

People who enter any situation looking for a way to take advantage.

The bitchy, judgmental up-n-down eye scan right when they meet you. This is prevalent among women, but men (gay guys especially) aren't excluded.

Anyone who gets too far inside my personal space. Obviously, I have personal space issues, but I have no problem with people I know well, my partner, his mother, other family, etc. And lord save me from anyone who wants to hug me the first time they meet me.

When they keep putting their hands on ass.

Any straight female in a gay bar acting as a cockblocker, accidental or intentional. Or any straight female in a gay bar who wants to be besties right off after spouting, "I love my gays."

Referring to “my people.” “I’ll get my art director on it,” or “I’m looping in my production manager.”

Related: people who thank you personally for doing a job you are getting paid for, like you are some sort of personal servant. “Thank you for making those name tags...” uh...I didn’t do it for you, dumbass. I’m doing it because it’s my job and I don’t even work for you, nor did I do it for you. So patronizing.

Any female who objectifies the gays.

Grown bearded men that talk like Disney Channel pre-teen girls.

A vagina

Misogyny , racism, religious bigotry. I instantly lose respect for them.

Profanity during a business conversation, meeting or interview.

Bad-mouthing of colleagues or management during same.

Overuse of "very" or "so" as intensifiers. Not offensive, but shows a lack of imagination and grasp of language.

Jock behavior in general.

Overly familiar right out the gate. Uninvited use of the diminutive: "Great to meet ya, Jim!". Introduces other people at a formal event just by their first name.

Extensive talk about television, sports, cars.

Overly sexual wardrobe, for men or women: clothing too tight or too revealing, excessive cosmetics, clearly dyed hair, buckets of perfume/cologne, flashy jewelry or watch.

Takes cell phone calls continually throughout the appointment without apologizing or explaining that this might be necessary.

Anyone who doesn’t have a cock

Oh, and that prissy humorless twat at r11

Says "anyways".

Bad breath that I can smell from a distance.

Smelly diapers.

Someone who immediately assumes their views are everyone's views. They say mean or hateful things, they espouse controversial political opinions, sometimes they are even racist or in some other way, slurring, and they expect you to at least let it slide, but more likely, agree with them, and support them.

Rude entitlement is the norm.

Agreed on a weak limp dick of a handshake.

That contorted, smells-something-bad face of gay men when introduced to someone they don't want to know, don't like the look of, can't be bothered with.

Someone who is neither intelligent nor reasonably kind.

Poor priorities: people who begin (and end) conversations with "What do you do?" or, Minnie Castavet style, "What did you pay for a chair like that?"

If they ask me if I'm cut or uncut.

Septum piercings

Covered in tattoos

Mean face

Polyester shirt or sweater and dirty fingernails.

Unkind people in general. You can just tell. I was introduced to this "power queen" (high up the food chain) at a company luncheon and when I went to shake his hand he wrinkled his nose, frowned and said "sorry but it's cold and flu season" and put his hands behind his back. I felt like a fucking leper.

Yes, any sign of rudeness, unkindness, homophobia, misogyny and racism is a turn-off that cannot be reversed, ever. With age, I have learned to immediately cut off such people from my life and never give them the benefit of the doubt or attempt to change them.

People don't really change who they are; they only change some habits related to comfort and social status as they progress through life. So much time and nervous tissue can be spared if you learn to trust your first instincts.

Humble bragging or self aggrandizing. Most any kind of extrovert behavior tbh.

Not respecting personal space boundaries. Too loud. Too familiar for someone you just met. Too nosy.

When I see someone coming at me like a freight train, arms out, I've started to say, very quickly, "I don't do hugs," and that manages to stop some of them in their tracks, but there's always somebody who'll persist. Maybe a fist to the gut might persuade them. (Just kidding) I'm sure there are people who pity my partner, who is "living with that cold, stick-up-the-ass bastard," but I don't really care what they think. (And my partner finds it amusing.)

Telling you "their" pronouns.

Performance ordering & eating at public restaurants. In other words, eating extremely light to show how diet-conscious you are (only to eat half a cake when you get home). Or ordering a salad when in a group setting, but always ordering a burger or steak when alone. Or making a big production out of being Vegan or gluten-free, asking to speak with the chef about whether or not the pots are cross-contaminated. All of this is to make a false impression with other dinner guests - and I just hate it.

Judgemental DL queens.

Anger problems/rage issues

Unpleasant sense of humor

Racist or misogynistic

Does not shower daily

People who take themselves too seriously.

People who take everything literally (ambiguity/hyperbole doesn't make sense to them).

People who are quick to put you in your place.

I've been surprised sometimes by unflinching rudeness right off the bat. But more disturbing is the person who immediately decides you are their best friend.

R32, I find that very creepy myself and I have an immediate mistrust of those people (I tend to wear my expressions on my face which probably makes it worse).

When "like" or "ya know" are part of every other sentence.

[quote] People who are quick to put you in your place.

You're terribly uppity for someone I've never met R31.

I love it when someone I just meet asks “so what do you do” or “where are you from” and when I try to answer they immediately cut me off to tell their story. Fun cunt!

YES! R34 YES! The dreaded "like!" I know a woman, not young, and highly educated, who inserts that word into Every. Single. Sentence. I'm not kidding. It goes as follows: "Like, I went to the mall to buy a coat like yesterday, and like I couldn't find a single one I wanted, but, like I decided to do like some Christmas shopping. Like it's so close to Christmas and like there were so many people there that like I decided to come home and like go shopping tomorrow instead." AAAAARGH!

Noticing a lie within the first 10 minutes.

Also, I have always noticed dental plaque. Bad first impression indeed.

[38] especially when it’s an over the top crazy lie to try to impress you. Something ridiculous like “I’m working on a movie right now with Bobby Deniro.”

Bad grammar, for example, "Her and me did such-and-such."

Bad teeth. Not British bad, Florida bad. And that's bad.

When they yawn.

Non-black people who act and speak ghetto the minute you meet them. Or at all. It reeks of desperation, like Madonna trying to act.

People who interrupt someone else's interesting anecdote to correct a minor and irrelevant detail.

People who come off as very controlling or paranoid when you talk to them, as if you owe them respect. I know this one girl who always says "I'm annoyed" or "I'm offended" until the other person stops speakingr. Regardless of what the topic was. And if you don't stop, she will either glare at you until you do or just ignore you and start talking to someone else in the middle of your sentence.

People who talk but don't listen. Who interrupt you during conversation. I have one friend who will ask me a question, and will actually interrupt me when I'm answering her to ask another question or make a statement. I start to shut down.

R36 If someone asks "What do you do?" I reply "when?'

People who are constantly looking at everyone around you when you’re talking to them— as if there could be someone better to talk to

Know it alls

Graduate of the lesser Ivies.

If they stand too close.

People who talk over other people. People who have sidebar conversations during formal presentations and meetings. People who speak out of turn “adding” to what was said, but simply restating the previous speaker.

I hate everyone. That way you're not disappointed and sometimes good people pleasantly surprise you.

People who can never calm the fuck down.

[quote] Know it alls

Oh, fuck, I totally hate this. Two friends introduced me to a third person who is the biggest know-it-all I've ever met. No matter the subject other people are talking about, she will nod and say "yes," "right," etc. all through what they're saying, as though she'd heard it all before and was there to just to be sure nobody got anything wrong. I've of course heard her confirming statements that I knew actually were wrong, and she'll often thrown in a few totally off-base "facts" or ideas when the other person finishes speaking. I can't imagine how no one's ever decked her, and I now kinda hate my friends for bringing this chick into my life.

Why do people call people "boss" anyway? In my experience, they seem to think it's funny that they're belittling your perceived level of authority?

It's a great jerk detector, though.

Someone who constantly defaults to head down scrolling his phone as a security blanket whenever he isn't speaking, like every teenager in the world.

Recently went to partner's work party, semi-fancy. We're long term, but he's older and much more professionally experienced, while I am a recent graduate of fewer and less intensive years. Most people are nice, great even. I'm kind of shy sometimes, and there's been recent relationship matters (we're not 'in trouble' but I was in a bad mindspace), but I'm also considered 'nice', 'cute', 'fun', among other things by people usually for these things - as in nothing super special because I don't become the life of any party, but I'm nice to look at and get some chatting with. A female coworker of my partner starts talking with him about a trip he's taking next year because she's been to the same country, and that's fine, but quickly she is turned entirely to him, only giving me the barest of glances when I involve myself, and otherwise doesn't give me a single look or reference. I don't think I've experienced such a thing in many years. This is 3 people, two of them partners, standing in a public gathering. I didn't want to wonder the worst about her (and/or how she may think the worst of me), but this behavior encourage that. So yeah, a turn off? Consistent and seemingly deliberate social freezing out without any prior explanation. Its some kind of bullshit. But I think I was more bothered by my partner not noticing because he gets wrapped up in conversations too (... but he actually engaged with me a few times and obviously looked at me).

Queeniness

The haughty “elevator eyes” sone gay men do when you are introduced to them is a red flag that this person is more than likely a complete piece of shit. It’s usually followed up by a limp handshake while fixing their gaze elsewhere. Not sure why some gay men think being a cunt when meeting someone is charming.

*some

Having to contend with an approaching person who is not looking where they are going. Pay attention!

Another one is when they are wearing ear buds. Why do some people need to have constant music playing? I'm pretty sure this is not a spectrum thing.

People who openly fart and discuss their bowel movements. Nice to meet you, bye bitch

Puns

Gum chewing.

Imagine not knowing how insane you look maniacally chewing gum?

I recall the Dalai Lama calling gum chewing "pure rage"!

Not knowing about the birth and life and death of the Byzantine Empire!

[quote] Why do people call people "boss" anyway? In my experience, they seem to think it's funny that they're belittling your perceived level of authority?

IME, it's the opposite. It's a way of kissing ass. Some bosses / managers actually do like to be called "boss."

When they say, "I'm the anti-Pete troll."

People who put ethnic flag bumper stickers on their cars or hang ethnic stuff from their rear view mirror.

People who have anti-abortion bumper stickers. I wanted to honk at someone on Lake Shore Drive the other day for their bumper sticker which said: "I have noticed everyone who is for abortion has been born." The divine source of the quote? Ronnie Reagan, of course.

Public servants who won't immediately give their email address upon first request.

Over-sharers and brown-nosers.

People who never shut up.

Blonde hair is a turn-off. I don’t think I’ve met a friendly male or female blonde; they’re always arrogant.

Anyone wearing MAGA or Trump gear. Also any anti-liberal clothing.

Young 'professional' women who insist in talking in an insipid 'sexy baby' voice. If you're seeking a job or expecting respect or credibility, knock it the HELL off. Yet, they persist.

[QUOTE] Also any anti-liberal clothing.

Define this. If I just wear a blank t shirt is that anti-liberal because it doesn't have liberal text on it?

[QUOTE] Also any anti-liberal clothing.

Define this. If I just wear a blank t shirt is that anti-liberal because it doesn't have liberal text on it?

[quote] Define this. If I just wear a blank t shirt is that anti-liberal because it doesn't have liberal text on it?

People who are incredibly stupid are a turn-off, too.

An uppity bitch, male or female.

When moving into a new home, the Gladys Kravitz of the neighborhood who immediately shows up at the door asking nosy questions and is undeterred by short vague answers.

People who are too "on" right from the beginning (too loud, trying too hard to be funny, etc). Those people end up just being obnoxious in the long run.

People who turn everything into a political conversation.

I hate it when people repeat themselves.

There are a lot of them, but anyone who supports Donald Trump is probably the most immediate turn off for me.

r86 pretty much nails it. I am closing this thread.

More and more, I am noticing people with no ability to read a "room." The other day, I was with a good girlfriend and she was going on for 15 minutes about some stupid work story (which involved not a single person I knew, nor did it involve her). All the while I am fake-laughing, and pretending to look interested. And she knew damn well that story sucked, and knew I was miserable listening to her. Another friend goes on and on about her stupid kids. I like them, but I don't want to hear about them. And again, she can see the fatigue, but she just goes on and on abut her stupid kids.

Some people never know when to shut the fuck up.

Penn Jillette calls every fan/audience who chat with him "boss". I was enarmored as he's thin-ish now (thr DL way) and he's a cool 2 meters tall.

Probably safe in this androgynous/gender pc/pronouns climate.

People who talk about their bowel movements.

I'm immediately turned off by purple hair.

When they feel compelled to inform you that they are "good Christians".

I remember attending a networking even on behalf of my then boss. One of people there said to me when we were introduced, "I am glad God has given us the opportunity to meet each other today." He received a cold stare in return.

[quote]"I am glad God has given us the opportunity to meet each other today."

EEWWWWW!!! My aunt is like this. She always speaks as if god is her personal assistant. "He did this for me", "He arranged this situation to my advantage", and then comes the "pious" look upwards, of course.

[quote]"I am glad God has given us the opportunity to meet each other today."

EEWWWWW!!! My aunt is like this. She always speaks as if god is her personal assistant. "He did this for me", "He arranged this situation to my advantage", and then comes the "pious" look upwards, of course.

People who announce they’re supporting Deval Patrick every time they post.

[quote] Related: people who thank you personally for doing a job you are getting paid for, like you are some sort of personal servant. “Thank you for making those name tags...” uh...I didn’t do it for you, dumbass. I’m doing it because it’s my job and I don’t even work for you, nor did I do it for you. So patronizing.

So... saying “thank you” is “patronizing” if you’re not signing the person’s paycheck? WTF? If someone I work with does a good job, its better to ignore it and pretend not to notice or care than to say “thank you?” YOU actually prefer not to be thanked for anybof your work, unless it’s the CEO personally thanking you himself?

Some really psycho people post here.

People who talk with a tooth pick in their mouth.

No eye contact.

Huggers and touchers. I enjoy when I have a flare up of my pompholyx eczema, so I can wave my blistered pus filled palms at them and watch them recoil.

If someone says something like "speak my truth". It indicates they are probably really dumb.

Someone who says, "I'm processing."

If they are a Republican...I have had enough of them.

Turn off? Anyone brainwashed by left/right politics.

You ever talk to someone and you use your hands to emphasize a point and the person's eyes go directly to your hands? Or you make a facial expression and the person makes the same expression? Or mouths the words you're saying? These people make me think they stick their tongues out when they're cutting out something or coloring with crayons.

Email signatures with Christian phrases, like, "Blessings."

People who discuss tipping in any way, shape or form. And if you USE tipping as a way to judge every move a server makes...I cut you out completely.

Being rude or above servers, service people, etc. Total deal breaker

R105 only magicians get a pass for looking straight at your hands of you gesture. Like Penn and teller, who are really smart.

This happens often in New York: the question of "what are you" from people trying to perceive your ethnic origins. Or worse, when they try to speak to you with words "from your language," despite that your family has been in this country for the past three or four generations.

Uncut

r110, I find that hilarious. I get where do i come from as a mixed race brit... but never WHAT , hahaha

Anyone who immediately has to tell me:

- their sexual orientation

- their politics

-where they went to school

-how all their knowledge, based on a single internship, is superior to the 200 years collective experience of a 5 person team.

People who say “okay” as word filler: The Queen is a lizard brained pedo, okay? People? She’s a lizard.

I watch dumb YouTube videos, so you are probably turned off by me. Ha ha.

Though I see he is FF'd, I agree with R104. I know several people who open any odd conversation with "Trump is Hitler" or "Nancy is a drunk, old, dyke who should be put down". Even if true (and I believe one more than the other), who opens with that?

Also, people who won't shut up. My uncle's husband, who is a very nice and fun guy, just never shuts up. Talks and talks, and talks.

People who begin sentences with "So."

The "know it all" type. I'm out, and quick.

People who tell people what kind of degree they have to silence others. This one girl on facebook who I used to follow was constantly rude to people who even asked questions about racism/social justice and she would constantly say "I don't need to explain anything to you--I am a PhD student in race studies."

"I seen"

Anti-liberal clothing are the stupid shirts they sell to Trump fans outside his rallies. They usually have some lame “zinger” photo or phrase that trashes Democrats, women or gays. Pretty much anything that gets the toothless rubes giggling and saying “fuck ya” is a guaranteed sale.

People who finish every sentence with 'right?'.

Every now and again I attend an annual event where one of the woman guests is always rattling on about handbags and labels and her recent jewelry and household purchases. I realize fashion is a thing and nice things are nice, but the funny thing is that she never seems to genuinely enjoy buying these things - which would make it actually seem acceptable - she just does it because she and her husband make a lot of money and she's continually seeking ways to convey this fact.

She also seems never to know what to do with me as I never bring a date to this event and there seems to be a thing with her where she simply cannot accept that some people are single and possibly looking to stay that way.

I find both factors extremely tiresome.

When they look past you scanning the room for more important people.

A thousand times what R27 said. Ain't nobody got time for your preferred pronouns shit.

A small butt if it's a guy

Regarding pronouns--I have a friend who refers to themselves as "ze" or whatever. One time, I sent a group text to a bunch of friends ("ze" was included) saying the words "you guys" in the text. "Ze" responds "you guys?". I texted them afterwards to ask if everything was ok because I noticed they stopped replying to the text. They replied "I don't like it when people say "you guys"". There were women included in the text and none of them complained.

Listing all your allergies.

actually thinking Kevin Sessums is relevant. TOTAL turn off!

Watching him try to make “Tacky, Facist No-Nothing Vulgarian” take off as a replacement for Trump has been UPROARIOUSLY embarrassing. he should go back on drugs😂😂😂

Diapers are an immediate turn-off.

I know someone who does all of these: uptalk, baby voice and starts every sentence with "so". It's maddening. She doesn't do vocal fry so I guess there's something to be grateful for.