Create your own "World mourns death of popular 21-year old rapper"

Twitterverse in Shock upon reports that 17-year old Fast-Rising Star Lil' Kurly Slurp, of Lawton, OK, has died in Gun Selfie Gone Wrong

Buzzoola is getting reports Lil' Kurly Slurp, 17, of Lawton, OK, has succumbed to injuries suffered in an apparently accidental self-inflicted gunshot to the head. The young star whose stratospheric rise was just about to happen any day now was allegedly in his parents' master bathroom to take a "bathroom mirror selfie" of himself sporting a new forehead-covering face tat of a poop emoji.

In a display of authenticity, young Lil' Kurly Slurp apparently put his stepdad's handgun to his temple and attempted to simultaneously take an Instagram photo. Investigators theorize that Lil' Kurly Slurp, who was thought to be under the influence of several marijuana edibles at the time, confusedly mistook the gun trigger for the photo button on his phone, citing evidence of several other "not-yet-deleted bloopers on his phone immediately leading up to the moment of his last fatal demise", said 62 year old Lawton Shift Lieutenant, Dale Ronsack.

Kanye West stoked fears on social media of a murder conspiracy, and President Donald Trump, rap ally, offered to send West's own private investigators to Oklahoma via the VP's Air Force Two. Facing death threats and burgeoning backlash on social media for the untimely death, Lieutenant Ronsack, in an attempt to quell rumors of foul play, arranged a hasty press conference beneath the city's new water tower, where he released the so-called "blooper reel" of bathroom photos taken by Lil'Kurly Slurp in the moments before his tragic final selfie.

In one photo, Slurp is posed in the large master bath mirror, the mirror spotted and streaked. In the next photo, we see Slurp posed in the now-clean mirror, gun at temple, face tat at maximum visibility, but now with a rag and spray bottle of Great Value Glass and Window Cleaner in the frame. The next photo has Slurp in the sparkling mirror, with no window cleaner in sight, but with the other distractions now gone, one can't help but notice the Live Laugh Love shower curtain behind Slurp. The following photo shows the shirtless young now-never -to-be-future-rap-god in the spotless mirror, rag and cleaner out of sight, and a shower curtain rod now bare save for a few broken and dangling plastic shower curtain rings, gun at temple (if only Slurp hadn't blinked when he had taken that one, he would probably still be here).

The next and last photo was not released out of respect for the family, Lieutenant Ronsack said.

A makeshift memorial was growing outside of the home of Slurp's mother Nanette Blowdart. Several poop emoji balloons bumped together, tethered to a birdbath in the center of the lawn, smiling obliviously as they floated above teddy bears and empty bottles of cough syrup and crumpled white claw cans. Posterboards propped up along the landscaping stones showed an outpouring of grief and well-wishes from fans "💩🔫📸☠️😭😭😭😭 😭 😭 " read one particularly poignant message. Another, optimistic in it's sadness said "👼💩👯‍♀️💩💰💩🍑". In the far corner of the front lawn, two young men were running an extension cord from the house next door to an eight-foot Christmas inflatable of a jolly poop emoji in a Santa hat. The tiny fan hissed as the silhouette of a poop emoji swelled and rose as the sun set behind Lawton.

More!

Loose Stools?? He should go by IBS ....

I Love Loocy

Gone in a Flash: Grammy Nominee and Three-Time Felon Lil' Seizures Dead at 21 in Freak Epileptic Fit Brought on by Strobe Lights During Show

TIRED, ALT-RIGHT RACIST ALWAYS DENIGRATING BLACK PEOPLE ON DL IS TIRED

Create your own, "World mourns death of unpopular, self-hating British homosexual whore for Putin propaganda who went broke" thread.

As the creator of Lil' Kurly Slurp I can attest that he was most certainly white, although he claimed to be 50% Cherokee, he was definitely white.

World mourns death of popular 21-year old rapper T3MPURA69

Rising star slain in assaulted by Wasabi Fundamentalists

You can see some great names at this Wikipedia link.

From the article: [quote] A 2015 study concluded that murder was the cause of 51.5% of U.S. hip hop musician deaths.

Totally fucking insane.

Unless I am mistaken, I believe 21 year old rap sensation LIL SEIZURES was half Jewish and half Puerto Rican, from Jackson Heights.

Neither Lil' Kurly Slurp nor Lil' Seizures was black.

R6 needs to stop and ask himself why he assumed and projected that they were both black.

What about 21 y.o. Swedish / French Canadian / Chassidic rapper COQUILLE ST. JACQUES, born Hans Pierre Loewenstein in Stockholm. ST. JACQUES died a combination of tofu poisoning and being attacked by multiple bee stings while filming his latest video. COQUILLE ST. JACQUES is famous for such hits as "SHRIMPIN" and " (Doing tha) LOBSTA ROLL" , his duet with Sam Smith "CLAMMY LOVE", and "BECHAMEL" which reached # 88 on the Billboard Top 100. He's survived by his 36 year old parents and his wife, influencer / rapper SISTA PLUMZ.

T3MPURA69 is gone?

DETROIT — The hip-hop community is in mourning today as superstar rapper Lay-Z, age 27, was laid to rest today. The rapper died after slipping on a watermelon rind and tripping on a bucket of fried chicken, then falling head first onto a giant bottle of Muscatel in his apartment. Paramedics found him dead at the scene after he failed to show up for a recording session three days later.

Lay-Z's biggest claim to fame was his #1 single "Fuk Dat Beeyotch Up Dat Ass," which won two Grammys, five BET Awards, and a lifetime ban from the NAACP Image Awards. His follow-up single, "Dat Ass, Muthafucka (DAT ASS)," went Triple Platinum and earned him an endorsement deal with KFC, where he broke ground as the first black man to play Colonel Sanders in their ad campaign where a revolving door of celebrities play the long-dead founder of a chicken restaurant mainly patronized by white people and Mexicans anyway. His success continued with such tracks as "Babyiwanchobootay," "Booty Tap (Yeah Yeah Yeah)," and "Bounce Dat Ass, Bitch (Love Theme from [italic]Air Bud Part 26: Jai Lai Buds[/italic])."

At the funeral, Lay-Z's mother, Cray-Z, shouted "aaaaaooooooooww, mah baybeh!" over and over again while his uncle, Hay-Z, tried to console her. Rev. Elsmore Plunkett of the First Baptist Church gave a eulogy that called for the fried chicken, watermelon, and malt liquor industries to pay reparations to black people in loving memory of brother Lay-Z and in memory of all the slaves who toiled in the fields singing Negro spirituals while eating this stuff. Also attending the ceremony was Dr. Dre, Solange Knowles, and the brother of the guy who played Dudley on [italic]Diff'rent Strokes[/italic].

In addition to his mother and uncle, Lay-Z is survived by 12 illegitimate children by 6 different women. Most of the royalties from his albums have gone to paying for their feeding and clothing. Already, conspiracy theorists on the internet have started speculating that he faked his death to get out of paying child support, using clues from his recordings as proof. One track pointed to most often is "Bitch, Dat Ain't My Baby," with its refrain:

[quote] Bitch, dat ain't my baby / you great big fuckin' ho / You know you slept with every nigga / From Detroit to Idaho / I think you better take dat ass / To [italic]The Maury Povich Show[/italic] / You know you're just like Santa Claus / 'Cause you're a ho, Ho, HO!

Lay-Z's agent, Jerry P. Sleazelli, insists it's just a coincidence and that the coroner's report being inconclusive proves nothing. He also declined to make further comments without a lawyer present.

World mourns death of popular 21-year old wrapper Saran Saran

Saran Saran, moments after winning a Grammy Nomination for their album "Chunky White Mobility Scoot Slay Ride", perished in a traffic collision as he was en route to a charity benefit concert for UNCF and Planned Parenthood. The Getaround rented Honda Fit his fellow headliner Tots-Eleemosynary drove was T-Boned by a speeding Lincoln Escalade at the intersection of SW 117th Avenue and 152nd Street. Eyewitnesses surmise the Escalade driver,Lil Donnie Two Scoops, was in a high-speed chase.

Pee-Wee Pee-Wee Poo and Pangborn Korn, associates of Saran Saran, mourned the nonbinary wrapper's early and sudden demise. "They were on a roll," Poo and Korn sobbed, wiping away tears.

"I loved his covers," Tots-Eleemosynary tweeted.

"We were tight, so tight!" Grandmaster Cling Bling announced on his FB page. "Smdh."

I would die a happy man if I could have at least one threesome with R13 and R16 . I am still laughing my fucking ass off!!! Pure genius.

Seal could not be reached for comment, choosing to tsktsk the halfwitted GED-failing obituary writer for deadpronouning the pronounced dead Saran Saran.

Bump

Breaking News: Lil' Glock, most famous for such chart topping hits 'I Gotz Bitchez In My Benz' and 'Xanax Slurpee', has been found dead in his Los Angeles home of an apparent "heart attack" at the age of 21. His partner, instagram model Sharqwashia Jackson, has declined to comment.

R15's obituary of Lay-Z contains an misprint. Lay-Z actually fathered 6 children by 12 different women. We regret the error.

“In one photo, Slurp is posed in the large master bath mirror, the mirror spotted and streaked. In the next photo, we see Slurp posed in the now-clean mirror, gun at temple, face tat at maximum visibility, but now with a rag and spray bottle of Great Value Glass and Window Cleaner in the frame.”

What’s Slurp doing in my bathroom?

Meh, I did something similar but with more slap dash a long time ago.

Pop Smoke dies in home invasion. This actually did happen, after Pop posted pictures of his home address and stacks of money on IG.

R25 The jokes right themselves.

Anyone else tired of receiving news alerts every time some unheard-of, D-list celebrity dies?

WOW! Really R25?