Queer Eye's Jonathan Van Ness Outraged over DM misgendering in headline

The Twitter thread. Each poster MORE outraged than the last.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Stunning and brave!

So he's taking a woman's spot on the cover of Cosmo...

Fucking exhausting asshole. I'll bet he was all male when he was taking bareback loads high on meth.

Xe's EXHAUSTED from doing all this UNPAID EMOTIONAL LABOR.

[quote]You refer to me as a man twice. First “non female” cover star is the correct verbiage

Oh shut it.

What's a "non-female"?

Meanwhile dataloungers get outraged by the word "queer" and the letters "lgbtq" (or at least they pretend to be outraged by those things)

Why aren't there ribbons you can wear on your lapel for gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia etc. like there are for HIV/AIDS? Why aren't people proud to have other STI's like they are when they have HIV/AIDS? Someone give me a read AIDS ribbon I'm proud to be a dirty, irresponsible slut!

red#

r4, last time I checked being in Cosmo was a privilege not a right. And you imply that others are easily offended.....

[quote]You refer to me as a man twice. First “non female” cover star is the correct verbiage

Jonathan.

Don't ASSUME the Daily Mail identifies as "you."

BE. BETTER.

Sorry. If you have a beard and a dick, it's fair to refer to you as "male".

R12 your comment makes no sense whatsoever

Sorry. If you have a beard and a dick, it's fair to refer to you as "male".

Excuse me?

What R16 said.

"Non-binary" is another word for "look at me! I'm special and unique! Don't call me gay or straight and don't call me male or female! I don't fit into those molds because I am just SO SPECIAL and different!!"

Misgendering someone like that doesn't even rise to the level of bigotry, let alone abuse or discrimination.

Try being a woman, practically anywhere or a gay man in Africa/Asia, America et al.

There are too many humans for us all to be "unique", "exciting" and "special".

The vast majority of us are mediocre. We should just accept that.

Oh, but congratulations to him for showing the courage and being an example to others.

[quote] What's a "non-female"?

A man.

"your comment makes no sense whatsoever"

I was referring to the idiot who complained that he was "taking a woman's spot" on the cover of Cosmo

I guess the datalounge really loves right-wing talking points

Many of us on the DL think the whole nonbinary/genderqueer movement is ridiculous and are firmly liberals. We're just not crazy and delusional.

Good for him. I love how exhausted it makes some of you

Good for him. I love how exhausted it makes some of you

r25/r26: Your use of the male pronoun just killed 1800 more trans people of color!

Gorgeous, huh?

I wouldn't even have known about this if it were not for this DL thread.

Congratulations for giving that celebrity even more press.

His pronouns are he/him and he was outraged they said he was just diagnosed with HIV when he was diagnosed years ago

Who does Xe think it is, Conchita Wurst?

This kind of drama never happened with Carson or Jai.

Give me a break. He's a man acting like a narcissistic 15 year old Southern belle. I have no time for him.

So how many other people did he infect with HIV while he was drugging and whoring?

What a role model. He's so goddamn brave.

[quote]Many of us on the DL think the whole nonbinary/genderqueer movement is ridiculous and are firmly liberals. We're just not crazy and delusional.

r24, agreed. I would like to listen in on a conversation with this idiot explaining to someone in a third world country how horrible this pronoun faux pas was. And these people have the gall to talk about privilege without a hint of irony.

Nasty fucking people on this board. Jesus Christ! He was pissed about the HIV headline. It sounds like a fucking Trump rally in here. Disgusting

[quote]Nasty fucking people on this board. Jesus Christ! He was pissed about the HIV headline. It sounds like a fucking Trump rally in here. Disgusting

No he was pissed about this too...

[quote]You refer to me as a man twice. First “non female” cover star is the correct verbiage"

Get over it, we are not going to change hundreds of years of our language because he wants to wear a dress.

God. Everyone in that thread is slobbering all over his non-man meat.

Why do men put dresses on to emulate women? Since when did putting on an open garment change ones gender. Most women dont wear skirts dresses these days. Theyre uncomfortable and impractical.

Right, R38. The experience of being a woman is more than dresses, jewelry, and heels, and it’s offensive when it’s reduced to that by this “movement.” Why‘ can’t you be a man interested in those things? Yes it’s still a taboo even in the U.S. but it is more brave to challenge that taboo rather than reduce womanhood to busted-ass wigs and skirts. It’s wild.

Nonbinaries are the most binary of all. In the old days they were referred to as "attention whores".

My GOD. I had never heard of this guy before. EXHAUSTING.

—

But Mr. Van Ness was not feeling his normal gorgeous self, the boisterous “Yass queen” merman that fans of “Queer Eye” adore. He was hung over.

And no, it wasn’t from partying too much. It was a “vulnerability hangover,” to use a term coined by Brené Brown, a TED Talk-famous researcher, to describe feelings of dread after being forthcoming.

—

Suddenly, a 20-something woman with a ponytail appeared at the table. “I’m so sorry, I can’t take a picture right now,” he said, discreetly wiping his eyes.

“Oh, that’s fine. I just want to say that I love the show,” she said.

“Thank you. Namaste. Have a nice day,” he said, clasping his hands in prayer.

Messy ass STUNT! queen.

Loved him during his Gay of Thrones days. May as well go back and re-name it "Genderfluid STUNT HOES of Thrones."

R42 = Dumbest “I’m trying to be clever“ poster ever written

[quote]Nasty fucking people on this board. Jesus Christ! He was pissed about the HIV headline.

Exactly. He was pissed that they were making a big drama of his HIV by claiming it forced him to cancel some event that just didn't fit into his schedule. The nonbinary thing was tacked on like an afterthought.

[quote] Right, [R38]. The experience of being a woman is more than dresses, jewelry, and heels, and it’s offensive when it’s reduced to that by this “movement.” You have a point, but in JVN's case, he's not claiming that putting on a dress makes him a woman. I do question why "nonbinary" males can't just say, "Im a man who doesn't conform to gender stereotypes," but it's better than claiming you're a woman because you like dresses and jewelry.

Weren’t multiple news outlets writing that he’s the first male on Cosmo? Is he complaining about each one?

R41

Sounds like someone SUPER comfortable in his own skin.

Excuse me, zirs own skin.

That beard is ugly and not flattering. For someone who obviously wants to be a pretty girl, what is he hiding under it?

I would hit that

I’d hit him too. Hard!

He’s hot

How many people did this hair whore infect?

Die r52. I hope you have herpes

R53, you sound like someone who has unprotected sex. How many people have you killed?

Shame on you.

Like Rupaul, Conchita (Tom) identifies as male. Only the character uses feminine pronouns.

You need a scorecard for all this bullshit.

R51 did you see r41? Your idol seems to epitomize "mentally weak".

R55 What the fuck does that have to do with anything? R57 is a weak mental imbecile.

She's a drug addicted, mentally ill mess from hell. She should be thankful anyone knows her fucking name.

Well, smell her.

His own autobiography that recently came out refers to him as a him and a man. I still like my pronoun choices from other threads on this shit...he, she, or fucker. Pick one.

You can hit him and get all kinds of stds.

The next time someone wants to take a photo with me, I'm going to say, "I'm so sorry, I just can't right now" as I "discreetly wipe my eyes."

Then I'll add "Namaste" and put my hands together in prayer.

I guess I truly am a terrible person because my reaction to this was "oh just shut the fuck up"

I just want to cuddle with him

What a tiresome, ravenous attention whore this man is.

Selective pronouns are for narcissists. They are directions you give to people because you assume they're talking about you. I don't give a fuck what anyone calls me just as long as they're not talking trash.

[quote]What's a "non-female"?

"An insufferable pain in the ass"

R67, exactly. I’m foreign, so people mispronounce my name all the time. If they’re strangers, I go along with it otherwise I calmly correct them. In my 20s, I was in the club scene and met lots of people who refer to everyone as a she and not once did I care when they called me a she when I obviously identify myself as a male. I never call femme guys “she” but it’s ok if they do it to me.

...

Ahhhhhha ahhhhhhha....somebody said something I disagree with! Quick, let’s post our outrage on DL!

[quote]First “non female” cover star is the correct verbiage

But then you're "assuming the gender" of every previous cover model! Maybe Cindy Crawford secretly identifies as a man.

I must I must! - I’m exhausted. I must post it on DL because that would be the most restful thing I can do.

He's unbearably embarrassing.

Help I feel uncomfortable, DL! Internet Horror as complete strangers have their own thoughts!

"Many of us on the DL think the whole nonbinary/genderqueer movement is ridiculous and are firmly liberals."

Liberal doesn't mean bigoted against trans.

Nice try.

Actually, lame ass try.

"Liberal doesn't mean bigoted against trans.

Nice try.

Actually, lame ass try"

R76? He's non binary, not trans.

Please quit LITERALLY KILLING HUNDREDS OF TRANS PEOPLE OF COLOR WITH YOUR MIS-LETTERING.

These little earthquakes.

The trans / non-binary bullshit is so tedious.

Like Sam Smith, Jonathan is a man. There is no such thing as non-binary, which is why they (see what I did there) will constantly be misgendered.

Let's change "non-binary" to "attention whore" or "mentally ill" shall we?

The trans and non-binaries aren't really getting along these days, so we shouldn't be putting them in the same bracket or using the term interchangeably (looking at you, R76).

It was the non-binaries that cancelled Contrapoints, previously one of their biggest advocates.

Everyone should reply to anyone claiming to be non-binary in the same way...

"Pull down your pants!"

All questions answered. You can put on all the skirts you want but if you have a dick you are a male. End of story.

r55 Wow Conchita's kinda hot as a guy!

R 83 = Bill Cosby in high school

I thought that when Jonathan came out as non-binary, he/she/they had said that pronouns weren't personally important and he/she/they were happy with whatever. I think Jonathan's issue with the HIV diagnosis was valid, but I do have some concern over the 'misgendering' side of things - I can understand when someone is trans and wants to be referred to by their new pronoun, but it's taking a little longer to get my head around the non-binary stuff. Though, as I have said before you don't have to understand something to respect it.

"you don't have to understand something to respect it" -- not sure about that.

"The trans and non-binaries aren't really getting along these days, so we shouldn't be putting them in the same bracket or using the term interchangeably (looking at you, [R76])."

You clearly have no idea what you're talking about.

For one thing there is a tremendous amount overlap between the trans and non-binary communities.

R86 is concerned. Let’s stop everything right now!

R86, something has to be capable of inviting respect in order to be respected.

Jonathan is a man, looks and sounds like one, Is very obviously is not anything other than a guy. Like Sam Smith who I mentioned above, he is asking for a made-up identity and pronouns to be respected even though he’s clearly a man and has done nothing to “transition”; nor he is any different to any other man who doesn’t conform entirely to the gender norms society places on him, as many do not.

I’m afraid my answer, when compelled to call a man “they” and not say he is a man, is “no.”

Some people who are non-binary do at least make some kind of effort to look androgynous and I’m slightly more sympathetic there, although they can’t be surprised and shouldn’t be too offended when people correctly surmise their sex anyway. Telling what sex a person is, is a natural part of human interaction. Most of us can tell very quickly, even with many trans and “non-binary” people. Such is life.

Do you have anything valid to add to the discussion R89, or just an immature irrelevant comment only? You type fat.

R90, I don't understand your comment about being capable of inviting respect to be respected, could you please elaborate?

I can understand your perspective of "looks like a man, is a man" but I would invite you to question that slightly - that is based on your/society's definition of what a man should/does look like does it not, rather than the way the individual feels about themselves? Maybe you can understand why that can be a difficult concept for some, who do not really care what labels society wants to impose on them if they are clear in their own mind who and what they are, regardless of how they present to the world. If I wear a football shirt it doesn't mean I'm a football player, after all.

You say that Jonathan has done nothing to transition, yet you are judging him by your standards, and that is clearly not for you to decide. If someone has asked you to specifically refer to them a certain way, which does no harm to you and is the polite and respectful thing to do, if you refuse it doesn't make you somehow superior, it just makes you an asshole.

This site needs an edit button - should be him/them above, obviously!

[quote]and has done nothing to “transition”

But he has done something to transition. He transitioned his mind. It’s all one can do without expensive surgery.

R92, in the same way that you took a lot of words to call me an asshole, you’re also overthinking this.

I don’t go out of my way to be rude, but my eyes and my ears and my brain encounter Jonathan, correctly read him as male and the words “he” and “him” spring to mind.

It is pointless to demand that people counteract the obvious evidence of their senses for a made-up identity, and it’s positively ludicrous (and offensive to trans people, in my opinion) to claim it is damaging in some way for all of us who can see Jonathan is a man, to call him a man.

When a trans person changes gender, it is of course polite to call them by their acquired gender even if we know what sex they really are. I do so. Jonathan however is very, very, clearly a guy. He doesn’t make any effort to look like anything else. Let’s all save our patience and energy for those who really do struggle with gender dysphoria and not a man who is triggered by correctly being called one.

[quote]He doesn’t make any effort to look like anything else.

what you can't get through your thick skull is that he doesn't need to make an effort to look like anything else! It's what's in the inside that cunts.

Jesus Christ this one poster is fucking TRIGGERED by this thread (you realize you're helping keep the thread alive with your posts, right? 😘)

Good for him. I love how exhausted it makes some of you

Good for him. I love how exhausted it makes some of you

His pronouns are he/him and he was outraged they said he was just diagnosed with HIV when he was diagnosed years ago

Nasty fucking people on this board. Jesus Christ! He was pissed about the HIV headline. It sounds like a fucking Trump rally in here. Disgusting

R42 = Dumbest “I’m trying to be clever“ poster ever written

He’s hot

Die r52. I hope you have herpes

R55 What the fuck does that have to do with anything? R57 is a weak mental imbecile.

I just want to cuddle with him

Ahhhhhha ahhhhhhha....somebody said something I disagree with! Quick, let’s post our outrage on DL!

I must I must! - I’m exhausted. I must post it on DL because that would be the most restful thing I can do.

Help I feel uncomfortable, DL! Internet Horror as complete strangers have their own thoughts!

These little earthquakes.

R 83 = Bill Cosby in high school

R86 is concerned. Let’s stop everything right now!

R76 you are a delusional moron if you think being liberal means buying into self-identifcation of gender and preferred pronouns. Question for you - you DO know that people can be liberal and not agree on some of the nonsense "liberal" people say and do, correct?

What you claim is liberal, I say is authoritarian.

Go back to Reddit or Twitter if you want an algorithmic feed designed to keep you firmly in your bubble of "everyone agrees with me".

Isn't he precious?

What a luxury to be able to be outraged like this. Everyday in LA, I see non-binary and trans people, many of them young, many of them with diseases like HIV, on the streets. They’re more concerned where their next meal is coming from and what they’ll have to do to get it. This person needs to actually get involved with their community and see what life could have been like for them.

Excellent point, r100. All these trans and non-binary people on Twitter going on about oppression and being offended by "misgendering," are they going out to the streets to provide aid, food, clothing, housing, any kind of help, to the trans homeless people, likely with HIV and likely selling their bodies to make it to the next meal?

What Van Ness is doing is just posturing for the victim points. It's deeply insulting.

[quote]you DO know that people can be liberal and not agree on some of the nonsense "liberal" people say and do, correct?

No gay liberal allies themselves with alt-right and rightwing fundies who are homophobic, or trolls a gay board by spamming links to far-right hate sites, or pals around with people who say we gays have to vote Trump or else we'll be exterminated.

You're a right-winger who is hoping to tear the LGBT community apart. You may genuinely think you're doing it for good reasons (though usually people who are doing something for reasons they think are valid don't act as trollish, hostile and ridiculous as you do) but in the end you're just another variety of division troll.

And the only reason you can continue to do it here on Datalounge is because it's anonymous and completely unmoderated to the point that even the spambots don't get shut down.

[quote] No gay liberal allies themselves with alt-right and rightwing fundies who are homophobic

It depends on the issue: truly liberal gay men and lesbians have found common ground with conservatives over the transing of gay/lesbian youth. Remember, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

[quote] trolls a gay board by spamming links to far-right hate sites

It depends on the site and the topic; a Daily Wire article containing factual information is not the same as a Stormfront screed, but extreme leftists accuse them of being the same.

[quote] pals around with people who say we gays have to vote Trump or else we'll be exterminated.

I've never seen anybody say this.

Trans women are getting killed - isn’t that hilarious?!

[quote]For one thing there is a tremendous amount overlap between the trans and non-binary communities.

It doesn't mean that you can use the terms interchangeably, which is my point. There may be some overlap, but they mean different things. It's actually insulting to conflate the two. It's clear YOU don't know what you're talking about, but you think you do.

I have a friend who legitimately has Multiple Personality Disorder and even she doesn't expect people to call her "they".

Very few - if any - people feel 100% in line with society's traditional gender roles. Some are really far from adhering to them but most of us understand that this is fine and a part of life's wonderful variety and no big deal.

OTOH, there are people who are attention whores and try to bully everyone else into affirming their 'specialness'.

I thought that Perez Hilton on the cover.

R102 I have done none of those things. You're lumping all of the anti-trans posters into one person. Which I guess I'm not surprised, because you don't seem to understand context and you have shown how much you generalize topics and now people. You also don't seem to have a knowledge of what "liberal" actually means. Hint: it isn't authoritarian uniformity.

Get your head out of your ass.

R104 it's funny because 1) they aren't getting killed at a high rate 2) many are sex workers (illegal in most states) which isn't the safest of jobs and 3) no one ever has any actual real statistics to back up the amount of hysteria that trans activists like to bully people with. So now people such as yourself blindly repeat the mantra "trans women of color are dying at alarming rates because people are transphobic!" which is NOT AT ALL TRUE.

If you really care about them, work on making sex work a legitimate, taxed career, and you'll save far more lives than crying "transphobia!!!" on the internet.

[quote]I do question why "nonbinary" males can't just say, "I'm a man who doesn't conform to gender stereotypes."

Agreed—to me it's bolder to propose that there are different ways to be a man or a woman than to make up your own gender.

[quote]Trans women are getting killed - isn’t that hilarious?!

No. It's not hilarious. Nor is it the epidemic that some claim.

Even the HRC has counted only 22 murders of trans people in 2019.

Less trans women would get murdered if they disclosed to their johns that they had a penis. The bait and switch makes some men go a little bonkers.

78% of murder victims are men. That's a worrying statistic.

51% of murder victims are black. That's a very worrying statistic.

86% of black murder victims are men. THAT is an epidemic.

Oh - *only* 22 were killed. That’s OK then.

Percentages are not epidemics. You'd have to look at trends and numbers over the years to be able to define it as such. Not saying I disagree with you in theory but the percentages you listed aren't defining an epidemic.

R114 you should just admit you were wrong rather than pulling out logical fallacies to avoid giving in.

R114, none of the trans women who died were killed by misgendering a guy from Queer Eye. And very few will be “hate crimes” in the classic sense, which are exceptionally rare anyway.

Nearly all of the 22 will have murdered by men because some men kill women they are or were involved with, and women they buy sex from. That includes trans women.

[quote]Oh - *only* 22 were killed. That’s OK then.

Sigh.

No, darling. It's not.

But those of us who managed to live through the 1980s know what a real epidemic looks like.