Yesterday was my last fuckable day

Uhm....ewww Becky.

I was certain until the last moment this was going to be about you prolapsing.

[quote]All hell broke loose. Never. Again.

Why? Shit happens. American gays.... always so dramatic over excrement. 😴

Scat thread

Fat head

karma for fucking a fat

I’m confused. Bottoms can shit the bed while getting pounded in their teens. What does age have to do with it?

OP = SCAT TROLL

I don't know. It never happened before. I thought it was because my snatch was overused or too sloppy or something. I can usually be fucked bareback by several guys and still suck on their pristine dick after. So it's not an age-related thing ?

No, not related to your age. Though you might evaluate your preparation process and what you eat beforehand. This happened to me in my early 20s and thankfully not since then. Well, there was once when I didn't prepare properly but that wasn't due to my age.

Get back on the horse honey!

Plunger-fucked

R9 thanks. But I have been feeling uncomfortable with the whole process lately. Is anyone here experiencing a growing anxiety about anal intercourse after 45? In my youth there was no such thing as an aging bottom. Bottoms retired gracefully into their mother's basements or limited themselves to blow jobs in bars restrooms. I don't know why young guys are after muscle daddies these days. Every single milennial I know has major daddy issues. I feel I just want to do tha =Limit myself to blow jobs. Yesterday was too humiliating.

You should sell your story to Hallmark, OP. Heartwarming.

um. ewwwww.

You should have just told him to eat it.....that it was part of the sex act. Then it would have been cleaned up, and no one would have been embarrassed.

Ehhhh. It happens.

This.

Never.

Happened.

Scat fantasies

Actually this did happen to me, except the man was fucking me with a dildo in an empty apartment at his complex. He had just picked me up from the airport so I hadn’t had a chance to “clean.” When he pulled the dildo out of my ass, it looked like a chocolate and nut covered log. He threw it in the closet and we left the apartment. I still wonder to this day who found it and what they did with it!!

Yup. Shit troll.

Why can’t you die?

R19 - one must wonder if you’re here and taking the time to post because you secretly like scat.

It happens to the best of us ,dear. I once pursued a hot to death white trash man for months because of his legendary endowment. His bulge IN pants was not to be believed. Long story short,I starved myself for 3 days beforehand,douched countless times (he was reluctant to try anal again after always getting shit on) and on the day of the assignation I was confident it would go well. When he dropped his pants I almost fainted . To this day Ive never seen such a big dick. It took forever to get in (and I was hardly a virgin) and after a few thrusts shit exploded all over him. A veritable stream of shit. Needless to say it did not end well. Didnt stop me from getting fucked,thems the breaks honey.

Well, that took a turn.

I thought it was going to be some whining about getting old and not being attractive to younger guys anymore.

Technically, the day before yesterday was your last fuckable day. You weren't all that fuckable yesterday, as your laundry bill will attest.

Yes, we should all tell our embarrassing shit stories to make OP feel better.

This thread is kinda hilarious. Keep it up y’all.

Oh Brother what a shitty thread Shitty shitty shitty

SCAT TROLL

DAT TROLL

SCAT TROLL

HE GOT DEM FAT ROLLS

WHICH HE COULD TAKE DEM FAT POLES

BUT HE JUST WANNA EAT DEM DOOKIE BOWLS

HE STINK LIKE A DIRTY ASSHOLE

SCAT TROLL, HE DAT TROLL

Would it have killed you to have at least posted a picture or link OP? Would it? I mean would that have really been so hard? Would it? Why don’t you try to think more of others next time before you post? What's your problem? I mean really, what's your damn problem?

I hate when that happens.

Hey this is a good thread for poo shoes

She speaks in rhymes and metaphors

It seems fun till you realize it's mental sickness on its worst

Do you really want a link? Do you punk....

It would link to a dick incrusted with yesterdays lunch

Corn when did I last have corn

OP = Melania

I wanna move to India!!! I want to see some hot Indian men shitting their brains out in the streets 🤤

R33 EVERYONE WAS SHITTING IN THE STREETS

I've never "painted" a top but earlier this year I hooked up with this gorgeous guy from scruff. He was tall, muscular, and even sent an uber to pick me up from my place over to his. I arrived and it was a nice high rise building. We hooked up (he topped) and it was AMAZING and he asked me to stay the night which I have never experienced. Early in the morning his phone rings which wakes up both and he apologizes and says its a work call he has to take. He answers the phone and proceeds to the bathroom, closes the door, and I can hear him take the most massive shit. I'm talking farting, water splashing, like I thought I was on some kind of prank show. At this point I am mortified and jump out of bed to get my clothes on. He comes out of the bathroom as if nothing had happened and jumps back into bed and motions for me to get back in. I tell him I have to go home but can't find my phone. He gets out of bed and pulls back the sheets and he HAD LEFT SKID MARKS ON HIS OWN SHEETS! I never thought as a bottom I would ever be subjected to a scat nightmare that wasn't my own fault!!!

Did you get off ? Isn't that really all that matters? Who cares what that guy thinks or did. It's all about you getting off.

We give shit too much power. It’s no different than saliva, cum, or sweat. It’s a product of our body and we shouldn’t be embarrassed by it. Everyone does it, nearly every single day!!

Well OP, shit happens.

If you're really that bothered about it, turn to topping. You can (with the aid of viagra) continue to fuck well into your old age, and as you said there's a lot of younger guys around that have a daddy fetish and would be happy to be pounded by you.

Talk to me r37 when you go 7 days without bowel movement.

Shit has power unimaginable by you

R39 - how is that possible??? Are you eating 3 meals a day? Where is the waste going?

Do they sell crotchless depends for the OP for when he goes topping?

All Business in the front and party in the rear

R41 - “crotchless Depends” comment WINS the Internet today.

[quote]We give shit too much power. It’s no different than saliva, cum, or sweat.

Maybe so. But the latter three have broad erotic appeal denied the former, save for specialists.

Damn you R41 ! Damn you ! Coffee everywhere !

This is all your fault OP, you didn't prep correctly.

Next time, 12 hours before the event: 2 parts Activia, 1 part prune juice, 1 part Cracklin Oat bran, and a shot of Tequila. Put in blender and then top with whipped cream and cherry to help with the taste.

It's okay, OP. Everything will be fine. Life has just given you an opportunity to practice humility. We all benefit from doing it.

R35 that was the original director's cut for 'pretty woman' but Disney wanted a happy ending.

That's why my sex life is limited to Falcon videotapes .

This thread arrived just in time for my lunch!

R38 I couldn't top my way out of a paper bag

I’m triggered!!

Later that night, after hours of laundry, this millennial came over for his morning blow job. He stars at 5:00am so he wants a 4:00am treat, it's all hush hush don't wake the neighbors fun, he has a gorgeous naturally toned bod and a soft bushy beard, and I was glad I didn't have a condom when he started asking for my elderbubble. I'll settle for that. Nice juice

R52 - it must be fabulous to live in your fantasy world.

This is why I gave up anal long ago. Hot as a fantasy in the porn version of it. In the real world it can be fun also but the downsides are just too horrible. Even when it all goes pretty well, it's still too gross. I think when I was younger and randier, my libido just rough rode over any "ick" factor. Also, when you're new to the game you think it's going to be like the porn version. So oral sex and mutual JO are both great but I do wish that anal was more like its portrayal in porn--never a hint of anything gone awry.

Similar experience here OP. Not necessarily cleanliness but looseness, hemorrhoids and concern for sphincter muscles in old age. Plus the perkiness is gone - which happens to the best of us. I’m accepting the need to transition to top. Seems like there is much larger pool of hot bottoms who care less about age then dick size. Also thinking I need to fade into the sunset and accept that both the drive and desirability is fading. And that is not necessarily a bad thing. Sex has played too large a role in my life because I’m a gay man.

OP, I’d still pound your hot ass.

Thank you kindly R56. I devoted a lifetime to keeping it rock hard and bubbly for gentlemen such as yourself.

Could have been worse, OP could have shit out 3 dead gerbils...

^ Or ended up in the ER with a live one.

[QUOTE] We give shit too much power. It’s no different than saliva, cum, or sweat. It’s a product of our body and we shouldn’t be embarrassed by it. Everyone does it, nearly every single day!!

Nearly? If you’re not shitting every single day, you’ve got some problems. Mine comes out every morning like clockwork.

R60, do you really think the Darfur Orphan takes a dump every day? The poor thing is starving. I'd wager three times a week is plenty.

R39 I’m not sure if that is actually possible. A whole week? Damn

That was waste, OP, but it wasn’t shot is what character.

Get a CleanStream and don't let this happen again. 50? That was my renaissance. I was fat and miserable for years. 50 was a rebirth - the first birthday in 25 years where I was thin and healthy. I worked out with a trainer for months, dieted and could do high impact cardio at the gym.

It's been the best decade of sex in my life - and not a ruined sheet, anywhere.

R64 - good for you. Where do you meet fuckbuds?

R64 congrats ! The thread belongs to you. Happy New life !

R64 I turn 50 in 65 days. I want to lose about 30 lbs and be in shape to mark this milestone, but the. I get depressed that I’m getting old and end up eating and sleeping instead.

Get some Oxi Clean, R64. Just wash your shitty sheets. They aren't ruined.

Yikes, R64, why don't you do something positive or good with your life.

If you've got a roof over your head and food on your plate and your body isn't pain, then you're ahead of a lot of people.

How is eating and sleeping more going to help you with your depression?

OP, what's wrong with you. Don't you clean yourself?

Scat Queen troll mistaking herself for funny ... again.

Sorry if I offended any of you youngsters. My butt has been hurting something awful for the last 3 days. Mr fit-fat was really too large. I think this is the hill I m gonna die on folks. I am not bleeding ( which I often do) but It's bad. It's always been more pain than pleasure for me anyway. I mostly ever did it out of vanity, because my ass is quite the bubble, and men go crazy over it, but I am very tight and I think I have a short pipe, coz' when the prostate is hit it's really painful. The idea is more exciting than the deed for this one, or maybe I just did it too much. Started in 1988 and always was quite the slut.. I had a fairly good run. Guess I am lucky to have skipped the big bad wolf in the late 80's / 90's. My count must be around the 1000 or above anyway. So I guess this it it.

occupational hazard, OP.

Well.. Over 30 years of bath houses, back rooms, random parks at night, apps.. What do you think ??

I have to thank OP.

That gave me a really good laugh omg.

THANK YOU!

*That being said, I hope you are okay.

Thanks R75. I am a bit worried though

Fuck off and die, OP

You sound fat

Sorry R77. There 's no shit, no hurt, it's all a walk in good old Russell square

Yep. R79 is fat

If 140 lbs for 5'9 is fat

The greyed out post makes me laugh

OP if you’d ever like to try again, I’m thick but very short (4 inches) It’s been tough for me to date out of embarrassment, but sometimes men will be posting looking for “small dicks” and I respond. Although half of those guys say I have too much girth! I keep looking for a man that wants a guy with a 4 inch redbull can.

Why not R83. Where are you ? Can you post a pic or describe yourself ?

Something 's wrong. It's been almost a week and my butt still hurts. I don't want to explain this to my family doctor. He doesn't know the extent of my foulness.

“Why...why, you’ve had thousands of throbbing members in this orifice, son!”

LoL @R86. But really I am a bit worried. Could it be internal hemorroids ?

Don’t be such a fucking Mary. “I don’t want to explain this to my doctor”—then go see another doctor! You don’t think they’ve seen this before? They’re doctors. Suck it up and go get an examination.

He might have busted yo walls

OP, pullease go see a doctor - an LGBT friendly doctor - and put your mind at rest.

R85 Stop being such a sissy. I had to have a female doctor retract my foreskin to determine phimosis.

Grow a set, take care of your hole. There’s nothing that will surprise your doctor. He’s not a cleric. If he gives you a morality speech, find another doctor.

It's been better today. Still a bit painful but not so much. I have second thought about doing it again though. That was really not agreeable at all

Glad you’re better OP......I would say no more inserting large objects in your ass.

OP, I'm pulling for your pooper. Keep up the improvements.