It Ain’t Easy Being Pretty—Life With The WeHo Insta-Squad

How exhausting. And what happens to them once they hit 40, anyway? Do they just get sucked into hell overnight?

^no, they worse than ever.

R1 WHEN they hit 40?? Those bitches look 40 already.

Their lives looks so vapid and pointless if they’re still still taking pictures like college girls on spring break. You can tell they are the types who will grow old alone because they think nobody is good enough for them.

They are able to put on very good fronts when forced to interact with less attractive people. Forced smiles with high pitched, slightly elevated voices. They limit themselves so they don't have to interact with the less attractive as often. Then they make fun of them behind their backs with their more attractive and insta ready friends.

I enjoy their false humility and how they pretend looks don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Evil Datalounge forced the beautiful Joey Battaglia (top right) to make his Insta private.

They don’t even look like anything special to me. Their “look” is a dime a dozen in L.A.

None hold a candle to Andre Patnode.

I have an A-list cousin who lives in WeHo--he and all his friends work out constantly, and I do not (I am an academic who does not live in California). I'm attractive enough to pick up men in my own city, but since I do not work out, I am just not in these guys's league. he has twice had parties for me while I'm staying with him, and his friends were clearly uncomfortable around me from the get-go--I do dress like they do or look like they do. After a while they got like me, but when they came to his house for the party both times (it was a different group of friends each time) I felt like I was some sort of pariah at first. I've never had that experience anywhere with anyone since middle school--where I felt as if I was being excluded just because I didn't fit in with how everyone else looked and dressed.

I told him after the second time that I just didn't want to hang around his friends in large numbers anymore since that had happened twice with them--I was happy to see any of them one on one, but not in a big group because they made me feel so excluded. It was the same feeling as being a middle school pariah, and being made to feel that again was something I just wasn't going to tolerate as an adult

*sorry, I mistyped: that should have read, "I do not dress like they do or look like they do."

[R10] What do they talk about?

R9 And that shit is exactly why I don’t bother to go out of my way to make gay friends - most of them are complete assholes.

I lived in WeHo when I was young. They basically avoid hanging out or talking to anyone that is not attractive including hags. If someone dose start a conversation who they find unappealing they either cut it off rudely so that person never tires to talk to them again or act disinterested and don't engage. They don't care what ugly people think about them.

And if you are attractive the opposite is true. Want to be buddies, BFF hang out, etc. Totally driven by appearance even if those other people are shallow vapid drama queens, still better than taking pics with Fugs.

[quote]And that shit is exactly why I don’t bother to go out of my way to make gay friends

Well, you sound just as vapid as they are. Maybe try going out and talking to people who don't look like male models.

They don't change. They will always be that way, only older and somewhat more resentful.

LOL been there before—-that sense that you are being “tolerated” by a bunch of vapid queens. F that.

I think it’s because they are afraid that friendliness might give you the wrong impression. 🙄

The two on the right are fugly.

The other two are nothing special. A tan always helps.

R13 I bet when they reached eldergay status they got a big dose of karma and they were on the other end.

This is real a culture in WeHo, not so much a gay thing. WeHo is everything you hate about shallow gays on steroids. Partially because there really are a high percentage of good looking guys there from models to actors all looking for work based on their looks.

They just look exquisitely groomed, not unusually handsome.

This reminds me of how so many complain how catty many American gays are. How about Euro and Latino gays?

If cold shoulders, sighs and eye-rolls don’t do the trick, there’s always Photoshop.

[quote]I think it’s because they are afraid that friendliness might give you the wrong impression.

That's not the reason, if you are not young, good looking and muscular with visible abs, you are the fly in their Chardonnay Instagram hoe pic.

This kind of behavior was discussed on an episode of "The Other Two" OP when a normal man tries to befriend a group of Instagram Thots.

Well the racist person who hates white people has resurfaced. She gets some type of satisfaction from diddling herself while spouting hate towards good looking white men. Don't fall for OP's tired and overused nonsense. She must search Instagram day and night looking for her next group of people to hate. We got it, you don't like good looking white people for some reason. Get help.

I wonder if pretty clients who get a discounted rate?

Second from the right is a total TROLL.

r10, my experience with my cousin's friends was that they were mostly fairly intelligent and likeable once I talked to them--they were interested in movies and books and things. They did want to talk a lot about the gym and about clothes and expensive vacations among themselves, but they would talk about other things too.

My cousin told me that they were just uncomfortable with me because I was not from Los Angeles (my cousin is from South Dakota, but has lived in LA for years), but I knew that wasn't it. One of them in particular treated me like a pariah even though we are even from the same home city (i.e. Minneapolis), and we ostensibly have much in common. He wasn't even that attractive, but he acted like he couldn't be seen speaking to me in front of anyone else. My cousin said, "Oh, that's just because he's really insecure," and I thought, well then, screw him.

[quote] I think it’s because they are afraid that friendliness might give you the wrong impression.

How dare an uggo think for one moment men of their caliber might possibly be attracted to him! They are perfectly justified in being cold and unfriendly.

Matthew and Joey are friends with EastEnders royalty!

Joey Battaglia (on the right) is NOT "fug."

He's gorgeous!

The fact that you consider cousin A-list or he does is total bullshit to begin with. What the fuck is that really? I know the meaning but it's ridiculous that people consider themselves that to begin with.

Real A-List are people who have changed the world or saved someone's life like a firefighter or doctor or a political activist for gay rights. Not some well paid pretty queen with a good body and attractive friends.

Presented without comment.

[quote]my experience with my cousin's friends was that they were mostly fairly intelligent and likeable once I talked to them

The fact that you didn’t tell them to fuck off when they were ignoring you and treating you like shit until they found you “worthy” shows you were desperate for their validation. Sad.

[quote]Joey Battaglia (on the right) is NOT "fug."

He's HIDEOUS. @ R32.

OMG.

Only on DL would that fugly 70s clone be considered cute.

Not really. Telling them to fuck off would have come back on his cousin.

R9 how were you able to break though and get them to stop treating you like a different species?

Asking for a friend 😆

I’m gonna try your technique on the next gaggle of instagays I run into!

Thanks R34. "Wear pants and take an improve class, no ones having sex there"

"you're all stuck in this cycle of connecting and validating each other" - that's all it is, right there. It is adolescence that never ends.

All the single queens that bitch they hate gay pride and cant make friends with other gays should watch R34 video.

That dude is not attractive R32. He looks like a deli working. You sound desperate.

Here are two of them again.

That American teeth thing.

Loving how DL's favorite psychotherapist, and his pretty boy clique, was used as a visual example for this topic.

Actually NOT so great.

“How do they gently tell that person who isn’t pretty or in shape enough that they can’t be seen with them?”

Dismissive look followed by elevator eyes...then walk away without responding. Immediately text another Instagay and share unfortunate encounter and laugh hysterically.

As American teeth go, the sets above ain't bad...

Show those TEETH gurls.

Better link and REALLY are NOT a very good looking bunch.

Americans all have exactly the same teeth. It looks so bizarre.

You absolutely [bold]cannot[/bold] be an A-Gay in America without a having a glowing set of veneers.

These fugs are A-gays?

without having*

I guess I should have pre-faced that with "wannabe", R52.

Ready for Christmas

Wait, the group in R49 are considered WEHO A gays? WEHO has clearly fallen on hard times.

R50 you've clearly never spent any time in meth country.

What is up with these gays who enjoy having pedophile mustaches? At best, it's dorky. At worst, it's creepy.

Why is it a pedophile mustache? You're sick.

Not surprising, but Matthew Dempsey is a rude, mean-girl slut, despite the persona he wears on social media.

Give us some bitchy Matthew Dempsey stories!

They’re all exceedingly average looking and they are NOT A-gays. Elton John, Tim Cook, and David Geffen are A-gays. These are instaThots.

I"m sorry to say this, but the men in WeHo are the worst. They are so nasty and mean. It's a culture that is learned being in that environment. I worked at PF Changs in West Hollywood and a group of overly tanned, tight shirted, pec bouncing handsome men, with lazer whitened teeth came in and were so rude and snotty to me. I just acted oblivious to their rudeness and stayed upbeat and friendly. I placed their drink order and I look over and they are talking to the host. They requested that someone else wait on them, because I wasn't handsome enough!!!! THE FUCK??? So, the check was transferred to this biracial male model who took over and I was stunned. I asked the manager, who was an ass, what happened and said something like, "Maybe you should hit the gym harder." Blame the victim!

Stupid fucks.

Oh honeys this is the oldest story in the book and it happens in every superficial milieu, not just gay ghettos. Go to a disco in Verbier, or lounges in London, Paris or Milan. Go to Nikki Beach or any A list party in Hollywood.

If you're fugly, just pretend to be a producer. They're be all over you like flies on honey.

[quote]If you're fugly, just pretend to be a producer. They're be all over you like flies on honey.

Yes. If you've got money and a powerful position, looks don't matter.

I’m totally buying into the facade. I think Matthew Dempsey is one of the most grounded, compassionate and sincere therapists in all of WeHo. He is surrounded by a loving, accepting circle of amazing friends who have frequent get togethers and outings to just have fun and hang out, preferably in swimwear. People here are so judgmental and love tearing down people with positive outlooks and healthy self-esteem. Matt and his buddies are genuine and you bitches need to take a long look in the mirror and stop the hate.

[quote]How do they gently tell that person who isn’t pretty or in shape enough that they can’t be seen with them?

They probably say "You can't sit with us".

Inside they're all 16-year-old girls.

NYC is generally much better on this front. There is a little bit of it with under-30s but way better than WeHo. LA is is so vapid and superficial and materialistic - and WeHo is the worst of that combined with gayness.

I love the "gay fiction" @ R62.

Let’s be real. The only people that truly care about this are still mentally in high school themselves.

Most of these insta hoes are miserable despite being hot, rich, popular, and healthy. So stop worrying about them so much. The ones that don’t get out will have depressing ends and yes, a few will never grow and still get lucky when it comes to happiness but those are exceptions.

Once you stop worrying about the “Alist” you’ll meet quality gays. They won’t be hot rich and popular but they’ll be kind interesting and deep. Most people who say they hate the shallowness of gays are hella shallow themselves. They act like gays are shallow but that’s only cause they go after shallow people themselves. Most gays are not shallow and are instead lovely but those gays aren’t insta famous either.

R63 I don’t know about the other cities, but every time I went clubbing in London when I was in my early 20’s (this was early to mid 2000’s), most of the gays were always very nice to me and would always buy me drinks. Maybe it was just because I was American.

British gays LOVE America,

R71 it’s because of your perfectly aligned teeth, which Brits are know for.

It's not rare for Brits to become fast "friends" with others while under the influence of alcohol. They drink like fish.

Can you blame them?

Living in LA, I've been around guys like this from time to time, through friends of friends, different social circles, etc. I'm not intimidated by them at all! But I'm also not trying to compete or measure up with them on some Instagram scale either.

They become the definition of the "Bitter Old Queen"! I relayed a story above waiting tables at PF Changs. But that wasn't the only experience. I would size these guys up, the minute I laid eyes on them, and they did not disappoint! I was always right. Rude, dismissive, and alloof.

It's like the stereotype, if you hear an accent, you know you're not getting a tip. If you see a fake tan and a glossy manicure, you're fucked.

It reminds me of this

I don't see ANYONE hot in OP's photo. They just look sceney, queeny and bitchy.

R79 Like the Caftan wearing Aunties of Datalounge are not queeny and bitchy!

I don't understand your objection, r74.

Binge drinking has always been in. But we usually only go out for just "one" drink i.e. one drinking session.

I have my staff party coming up, and I just know it will be glorious, messy knees up.

No shame.

It must be difficult to be gay these days. When I was in my 20s and you went out and got rejected it hurt— but ultimately you went home and went back to your life and forgot about it. With the internet and social media, you are pressured to be socially aceptable 24/7, with a legion of Instahoes reminding you that you aren’t.

Things aren't any different today r82. Most people do not share their feelings on social media, it's reserved for pictures and entertainment posts. You are just hearing from a vocal minority of drama kings and queens.

[Quote] a legion of Instahoes reminding you that you aren’t.

No one is required to take part in social media. I don't, and I'm young.

Sizzling 🔥 🔥 🔥

I know.

I think it was really awful of R27 to post a picture of one of the Giudice spawn without their permission.

R87 nailed it.

The most pertinent DL question: Will he be fired from "Merrily We Roll Along"?

Someone changed his wiki:

[Quote] Jenner also permanently harmed Benoist psychologically and physically as he abused her for many years.

I gather the Fire Island cliques are as bad or worse than WeHo. Of course, that's just seasonal.

Video.

R90 Jenner's fuckable, so of course he's a str8 asshole.

Whatever. In the end they all get exactly what's coming to them -- middle age.

I just read that linked article. A lot of me for a therapist.

How did this thread get taken over by the Benoist-Jenners?

WeHo today is like Chelsea NYC 20 years ago

Life in plastic it's fantastic...until those wrinkles start to show and that ass starts to sag then you get banished from Ken's plastic kingdom.

These are not the true "A" list gays. These are the literally the scrub team.

I have met and do meet "A" list gays and they have the money, and they don't care what you look like. If you are interesting, not a complete slob, and creative, they do let you into their world.

One "A" list gay couple I met in LA through a mutual friend. They had these scrub team guys crawling over them for attention whenever they went out. I was invited along at times, and I don't look like those guys. At the end of the night one of the "A" list couple said that they really liked me. The reason? It seemed to them I did not give a rat's ass about how much money they had, and they liked that and they wanted to hang with me more.

I seriously did not give a shit about how much money they had, they were just a cool, creative and interesting couple. So those guys above? They will get it sooner or later. It's you as a person, not what you look like.

Was it NPH and David?

Once at a LGBT charity event I half turned to comment to this small group of guys (that looked just like these guys) on how great the turnout was - and in turning around to say something else I caught them making this face to each other -as if they were embarrassed for me for committing some major social faux pas for talking to them. I just turned back around and got my drink and walked away. Cunts.

See OP, I don't think they are good looking in the slightest.

They look like effeminate gay men. Like most straight people would clock them as effeminate gay men form 100 yards away.

They are more attractive than other effeminate gay men but I will guarantee you that their ideal guy looks nothing like them and looks (and sounds) more like a classic hetero jock type and that straight women don't find them good looking either.

[quote]Once you stop worrying about the “Alist” you’ll meet quality gays. They won’t be hot rich and popular but they’ll be kind interesting and deep.

Give me a break. I don't ever worry about the A-list, and yet I meet tons of non-A-list gay men who not only are NOT hot, rich or popular, but they are also not necessarily kind, interesting or deep either. We bought that fiction hook, line and sinker from popular media that convinced us that everyone with less-than-stellar looks was a hidden genius or a wonderful kind, gentle soul - bullshit. Shallow boring people exist in every strata of society.

Great trolling OP

10/10

So true, R103. Reminds me of a friend I had years ago who insisted anyone who spent money on the finer things in life (travel, nice homes, etc) must be in debt up to their eyeballs. Meanwhile she was living frugally, saving and spending responsibly and feeling oh so smug and superior. I finally asked her once how she knew so-called "rich" people were all drowning in debt. Maybe they were financially secure enough to save AND spend on luxuries. It was just a fairy tale story she told herself to feel better.

Don’t forget to Play:

Feels:

Importance of Friendship:

Why are the guys at R107 all wearing the same colored pants?

Guys who live in West Hollywood have friend circles that are composed only of guys they've had sex with. So the selection of pretty boys occurs naturally.

These guys are not attractive to me in the slightest. They look like effeminate, overgroomed bottoms, which are dime a dozen in LA.

I go for more regular, mainstream, or DL guys.

R111 DL guys have caftans; you want that?

In college I became friendly with one of these guys. We kept meeting his endless series of "friends" with whom he was very syrupy sweet when they were together.

Behind their back on the other hand....

Meanwhile, whenever he saw me talking with a guy he didn't think was worthy, he would come "rescue" me and tell the guy, "Can't you see he's only talking to you to be polite?" And drag me away.

It was kind of amusing in a WTF? kind of way at first but the friendship was very short-lived.

It seriously took him three hours to get ready to go out--even if it was just to the local gay bar. He was an attractive fit young guy but he had an insane level of insecurity and this vulnerability was endearing even though I wished he would realize he didn't have to fuss so much with his appearance. If an object wasn't featured in an upscale magazine or had a designer name attached, he would not consider buying it.

It was as if every choice he made was based on how that choice would be reacted to by others.

^^^That sounds like a self-imposed hell.

[quote]It seriously took him three hours to get ready to go out--even if it was just to the local gay bar.

How the fuck can you spend 3 hours getting ready???!!! Was his makeup that complicated to get correct?

I knew a woman who took three hours to get ready to go out to work but she was a cancer victim, poor soul, then she died RIP.

No thanks Id rather live in Columbus:)

“Meanwhile, whenever he saw me talking with a guy he didn't think was worthy, he would come "rescue" me and tell the guy, "Can't you see he's only talking to you to be polite?" And drag me away.”

WTF what level of fucked up gay hell is this?

R90 The takeaway is that Jenner's hot and has a big dick, so who cares how he treats women? The important thing is how many drinks or how much cash does it take to get him to fuck some ass?

I gave up on the gay community a long time ago because it was very much like cliquey high school mean-girls, and I never "fit in" in High School (hated every minute of it), and never fit in with the "Gay Community". Both had the same feeling. Awful. I never felt welcomed or safe.

All pretty young gays stick together & then they get older & are replaced by new pretty young gays. It’s happen since the beginning of time & will go on forever.

Hopefully there will be some personal and spiritual growth as a result of this pandemic. Or will they just vacation together and post group photos in designer hazmat suits?

So much envy and bitterness in this thread.

[quote]Dismissive look followed by elevator eyes

It's upthread in a long ago post but does anyone know what "elevator eyes" is? It reminded me of a burn I received many years ago... I went into a bank ATM to deposit a check, realized I had forgotten to bring a pen. There were some people there, two gorgeous guys and a very pretty girl so I asked them "Does anyone have a pen?" The boys just stared at me, the girl gave me a very slow pan... eyes looking me down, eyes looking me up and said "No, we don't". Like how could a schlub like me even have the nerve to talk to them. And I betcha they [italic]did[/italic] have a pen too.

That’s elevator eyes. I learned that term in a sexual harassment training. It’s when hetero guys at work look at a woman anywhere except directly in the eye. It’s only really a problem with men she’s not interested in—or men who can’t help her career-wise.

I really regret reminding the Bipolar Thread Copycat about Matthew Dempsey in the Aaron Schock thread.

Ever since, it's been spamming Datalounge non-stop with Dempsey's drivel and his own hypomania.

F&F AND STOP ENGAGING THIS TROLL OP. He's the same nutjob who spoiled the Call Me By Your Name threads.

Elevator eyes from stupid scene queens are usually a quick up and down look — followed by audible silence. It’s to imply that the person is not worth tbeir time or energy. It’s usually done by silly faggots who fancy themselves divas.

OP, these people are ugly. They look like gremlins. The gray haired guy with the huge chin and squished face looks like he just crawled out from the Appalachian underbrush.

You need to get a better example.

Those people wouldn’t be allowed within 500 feet of the L.A. elites.

Thank you for the explanation R125. So that is what she was doing to me R127. It's like she really needed me to register the fact that she felt I was beneath her. Pretty on the outside/ugly on the inside.

Oh come on R128 - that therapist guy is gorgeous. Great features. Someone was defending him and said he was really nice but I'm skeptical. To me he looks like he could be a mean girl.

What's happened to all these 'digital nomads' living the life working from anywhere?

[quote]Oh, that's just because he's really insecure,

Who are these guys? Babies? They sure aren't men.

Throwback: Going Coconuts -

^ Oops sorry for reposting the same pic as OP.

Here’s another one:

B&W:

Decent odds this thread is being bumped and fed by someone who knows these guys. Because as I had noted six months ago at R102, they are nothing special, just a bunch of overly primped femme bottoms who are way to old to be posting group photos of their Fabulous Single Life

Wearing a hot pink tank top is an instant boner killer, it just screams 'bottom'.

I don’t think people care so much about them, or that they a superficial and vapid. It’s just the way the world is.

But it’s hard to buy Dempsey and all his evolved human empathetic therapy-speak when his social media reflects a pretty contradictory reality—one of conscious or unconscious segregation where the members of his social group is solely selfies and groups of pretty and affluent white boys. Besides, if someone truly believed or embodied the things he says, hanging around these girls would get exhausting.

I think the therapy thing Is just a gig, but if you want to think that he’d be cool to you if you ran into him and didn’t look like the guys in his Instagram feed, I have some oceanfront property in AZ for sale.