The "Hotness" Paradox

I have a serious weakness for geeks/nerds/dorks myself.

Because they’re subconsciously adopting the demeanor of the object of desire for the straight jocks they lusted over during their formative years: hot high-school girls.

LOL R2, there's probably a lot of truth to that.

OP, I may lust after Big Moose, but that does not mean I want to BE him. I want to be Midge Klump!

We already have huge previous threads on this topic. Do a search dude

Many of us understand that we will never have the jock look. We embrace who we are

OP, I think there's a flaw in what you write but it's understandable. Media imagery has emphasized youth and beauty since the 1960s. That doesn't represent the actual tastes of society as much as it reflects the bias of the company paying for the advertising. It's not a surprise when you see certain chains perpetually using extremely young looking, white men who reflect this. It has little to do with the market segmentation and analysis as much as it reflects the personal bias of whoever holds the contract for crafting the media. This can be conscious or unconscious bias at work.

Whether gay or straight, there are idealizations of the male form that are used in negative ways, similar to how women have been treated since the first serious boom in marketing in the 1950s. Women have perpetually been idealized as rail thin, overly emphatic on expensive dress, hair and makeup regardless of the obtuseness of the image's setting. Women glamping in couture with perfect hair early in the morning? Sure. Why not. Advertising doesn't represent reality, so often as it represents our self idealization and dysmorphia. Men get the same treatment now, which leaves out Asians, African-Americans, Native American, Middle Eastern and Hispanic/Latino men.

I suggest what you see on the apps are men attempting to reflect what they also perceive as the idealization of male attractiveness. It looks stilted and phony. I'm a certified DLEG so my pictures are .. me. They might be nicer pictures because selfies usually are terrible but they're not retouched and my stats are excruciatingly accurate. I get a lot of interest from much younger men, although my preference is 40's to 50s. I suspect I present confidence and that's actually attractive to a lot of men.

Mother's advice to "be yourself" is pretty good, especially as you get older. The people tearing apart representations of men? I think it's body dysmorphia: it's the negative reflection of what they hate about themselves when looking at someone otherwise unattainable.

OP do you ever do anything besides bash on other gay men?