Percentage of married men who have sex with other men

Grindr hook up just left, and we were discussing two things tonight:

His younger cousin about aged 21 has a long-time girlfriend but discovered their Grindr page trolling for BBC.

My hook up himself said he was into girls, liked older women but is a virgin with women because "I get nervous around them..."

[quote] None of them identify as gay or bisexual.

Yet that is what they are.

Please ignore R2 and his judgements and focus on the topic at hand.

I was friends for years with a guy who worked the door at my city's last bathhouse, he said easily half of the patrons were guys in hetero marriages, and this was true right up to its closing in 2012.

[quote]Please ignore [R2] and his judgements and focus on the topic at hand.

It's not a "judgement" it's a fact, you moron.

Many married men have sex with men, OP.

Especially the married men who are married to men.

& sorry to rain on your having sex with "heteros" fantasy.

But heteros wouldn't have sex with another man if he was the last human being on earth.

Dearest idiot at R7.

No one said a thing about sex with heteros.

"... and focus on the topic at hand."

And that topic would be masturbatory fantasies about self-hating gay men seducing "straight" men. It's hardly a new topic (it's been done ad nauseam). But assholes like R3 and R7 need these outlets to prove to themselves they have some "power" over straight guys, who otherwise completely ignore them.

[quote]the men I have fucked

What do you mean by "fucked"? What exactly do they do with you, are some things of limits, or is it basically the way it would be with a gay-identifying guy, i.e. different tastes but basically full-on desirous sex? Do you get any indication that these guys have inhibited inclinations towards men?

Fight thread!

[quote]Percentage of married men who have sex with other men

65%

A friend told me four married congregants in his church have weekly "meetings" supposedly to discuss church business.

Dear idiot at R9 no one said anything about straight men.

R10 Fucked. I put my pole in their hole, fucked as in fucked.

R3: But he is right, it doesn't matter how you identify because actions speak louder than words. If you are not gay or bisexual you don't hook up with men. I can understand people who experiment, but you can experiment once or twice, after that it's obvious you are not straight

R8: Sorry, but you are in fact the idiot, if we are not talking about heteros the percentage is very clear, 100%, and they don't even need to hook up because they would be fucking with men just to have sex with their husband

It's a large percentage of the straight married men who have experimented or thought about it. Of course, unlike gay men, they don't feel the romantic love, which is what distinguishes us from them.

Go to any Conservative church and you'll find gay and bi men plus older women trying to match the singles up to young women for marriage. The appearance of heterosexuality is still expected even in 2019 in countless families and career paths. Doesn't mean 100% of those who follow the norm are 100% straight. Often their wives know and don't care as long as it's kept on the down low.

IMHO swinging is a way for bisexual men to engage in secret fantasies. We all know that swinging at least on vacations is expanding.

I would also seriously like the numbers on this because virtually ALL the dudes I've chatted with on CL and other sites are married to women or dating some girl. I haven't had a guy who isn't cheating on a girl want to fuck.

So really, how many men over thirty have sexual encounters with other men...?

(And the no romantic feelings thing is something you can control. It's a mindset. If you fuck around with guys all your life but refuse to allow yourself to accept a kiss or hug from anyone but a woman as a way to reassure yourself, you ain't straight.)

R2 got it. OP, some guys cannot accept who they are- and they are bombs waiting to blow up the lives of their families with few exceptions. I met one recently in the gym. Nice, hot, willing, wife and kids- no dice. Maybe a little play but never ever take them seriously.

OP/Mary

You ask a question and then shriek at and insult anyone who doesn't answer it according to your fantasies.

[quote] I travel a lot for work and tend to meet men at the hotel bar, I would say in the past 5 years 98% of the men I have fucked have been married to females. None of them identify as gay or bisexual.

98% of what? LOL. Fantasyland.

Do come back and shriek at me again.

It's a very large percentage for sure.

Dear idiot at R22 I said nothing about any fantasies in fact I was quite clear "Regardless of how they self identify". To lay this out for the idiots who keep chiming in they may be defined by other if it amuses them, however sexual identification is not the point of the post.

Some of you are determined to make this into a different discussion. We call people like you internet trolls and I suspect you are considered trolls in other parts of your lives.

This is what some sexual purists can't seem to understand. There is a difference between identifying as straight and having one off random same sex hook ups and calling oneself gay or bisexual. The latter comes with certain "other" things that these guys neither want nor understand.

And to be honest it's all really about the "other" things that make it so complicated. Personally, I think a lot of straight-identified men are curious and a small percentage will act on it in a safe and secure environment and go back to their lives like nothing happened. I travel a great deal for work. Straight, happily married guys are constantly fucking around on their wives with other women, but then again most men are only as faithful as their options.

[quote]We call people like you internet trolls

Ooops, OP's a "we" troll.

Never, EVER engage in conversation with a "we" troll. I learned that very early on chez DL.

Meh. The percentage of gay men who have had some sexual contact with a woman is probably similar if not higher than the percentage of straight men who have had some form of sexual contact with a man. It isn't all black and white. Many people are curious, want to experiment, are inebriated, just care about pleasure etc. You don't have to be all the sexually attracted to someone to have sexual contact.

Then go away and stop engaging

[quote]Dear idiot at [R22] I said nothing about any fantasies

But your post is clearly a fantasy hence your RAGE when people don't agree with you.

[quote]however sexual identification is not the point of the post.

Oh, dear - that is exactly what this thread is about. You're both angry and stupid. The two often go together.

6%

5.57%

Touché R8. !

And R7, pay fucking attention. I agree that pure “heteros” don’t have sex with men. But this thread is about “married men” having sex with other men. And those said guys are not hetero. They are gay or bisexual men who chose to marry a woman.

Meanwhile, returning to OP's topic, based on our personal experiences and regardless on how they self identify.

My guess would be 50%. I too have had various forms of sex with guys who were either dating a woman or were (or had been) married to one. I've found that men are willing to have man-on-man sex depending on the situation. I used to classify guys (when I was in my 20s) by how many beers it would take for them to have sex with me or perhaps their best bud.

Wow Jim.. that's an interesting one... I'd say it's a low number... 40%

Jim, I've heard about this and I think it'g going to be a higher number.

Jim: The actual percentage of married men who have had sex with other men is 20%! Let's play the cards... last round you froze on an 8. Let's bring out anew card... a 3! Is the next card higher or lower than a 3?

All of it Higher!!

Higher than a 3, a Jack!!

All of it Lower!!

Lower than a Jack? Another 3!!

Uo to the top and an extra $250... higher or lower than a 3?

All of it higher!!

OH... a 2... YOU LOSE!!!!

"Some of you are determined to make this into a different discussion. We call people like you internet trolls and I suspect you are considered trolls in other parts of your lives."

Heal thyself, physician.

If you want a fantasy discussion about straight guys having gay sex, go to your nearest local gay bar. The alky dinosaur queens bellying up to the bar at 11:00AM on a Sunday will be more than happy to regale you stories of the "straight ones" who got away.

Most men experiment with other men.

[quote] We all know that swinging at least on vacations is expanding.

We do?

[quote] Fucked. I put my pole in their hole, fucked as in fucked.

That's where you lost me OP and when I realized this was yet another in the DL tradition of [bold] Trolling For Stories About Sex With Married Men [/bold] post.

DL wants all straight men to secretly, desperately want them. Only in prison dude.

R38, that's disgusting.

If you were a man, you would know these is a lot of experimentation in the male population.

there*

If you mean married closeted men, I guess maybe 2-3% of married men are closeted homosexuals with most of those concentrated in more conservative areas. I have a relative who attends a very traditional Catholic parish and she has told me she's certain some of the married men involved with the church choir are gay. I've also been told choirs in back churches attract mostly gay men, some are married.

If you mean married straight men who have sex with men just because 'boys will be boys' and they want a physical release. Almost none. I work in an all male white collar environment . Previously I worked in construction and as a welder, also all male workplaces. Sadly, homophobia is still rife. Lots of stupid jokes all the time. Straight men would castrate themselves with a blunt knife before they would fuck another man. Male homosexuality is an irrational fear and loathing for them. Straight men are kind of messed up actually because they really loathe and cannot accept anyone who has sex with men. As much as they want to get laid with women, they cannot tolerate women who enjoy sex too much or have too many partners either. Every so often at work they'll do the whole 'would you rather have a queer son or slut daughter' Zzzzz I first heard that one 25 years ago on a construction site. They don't change! I think most straight men would rather be featured on the cover of the Times with a headline saying they are a rapist than be caught in Grindr.

My best friend who has always been a hairdresser seems to believe straight men have secret homosexual tendencies and would have sex with men if the wife got too annoying. I think he's either watching too much porn or he just needs to get a job working with straight men because he's had as little contact with straight men as you can possibly have.

Very few men are straight.

OP, if you go to a doctor, and you tell the doctor that the reason you are there, is because you are experiencing inflammation and constant itching in, and around you rectum, a doctor is going to ask you to assume a specific position, and examine your ass. If the doctor determines that you are infected with anal warts, yet your medical chart identifies you as a heterosexual male, he isn’t going to ask you why you, a straight man, has anal warts. He knows why you have anal warts, THAT’S WHY HE’S A DOCTOR. LMAO! 😂 He doesn’t give one flying fuck about your thoughts on “labels”, or that you fuck men who are married with wives and kids. What he DOES give a fuck about, is treating you effectively, which means offering you treatment options, and good suggestions, such as: USE A CONDOM, & let’s run a blood panel for other possible STDs, such as HIV, etc., (because it’s obvious you don’t use protection while engaging in anal sex, as evidenced by your anal warts infection).

A doctor that actually gives a shit, might even suggest you contact your recent/current sex partners, because cross exposure is HIGHLY probable, and others will probably ALSO end up with anal and/or vaginal warts.

OP, I’m not a doctor, but I’m gonna offer you some unsolicited advice. Grow up. The men you’re having sex with in random hotels, ARE GAY, or BI. That’s it. No more, no less. No one gives a shit whether or not they’re under the impression of being “Bros, helping each other out”, instead of what they are the minute they fuck you, which IS a man, having sex with another man. Bros “helping each other out” conjures up images of men helping other men change a flat tire, or spotting someone a $20 at the bar during happy hour.

If a man is sucking your cock, or you are sucking theirs, both that man and YOU, are engaging in homosexuality. Just because either one of you drives home to their wives and kids afterwards, doesn’t make it not be what it is: homosexuality.

The problem here isn’t “labels”, the problem here is that people are incorrectly taught to take those “labels”, and use them to identify others who may fall within groups, that right or wrong, are used as ways for homophobes discriminate against those groups.

Being gay, straight, lesbian, bi, married, divorced, single, etc., is normal, and we all live within these parameters, whether we choose to experience that positively or negatively. And unfortunately, homophobia is also quite normal, especially within African American communities, due to various reasons. And while homophobia may not be a big deal to a straight, white male, who is a raging homophobe and a born again Christian, living in the south, with his wife and kids, it is quite a BIG deal to his counterparts: straight IDENTIFYING black men, whom are partnered with women, yet secretly engage in downlow sex with other males, USUALLY without condoms, therefore creating high risk conditions for exposure to STIs, high risk for transmission of STIs to their female partner and others, and also creating a high risk for non treatment of disease, due to not being able to identify themselves as who they are: bisexual or gay men, who claim they aren’t gay or bi, because they insist they’re only bros helping each other out, yet unfortunately, are now HIV poz, and in major denial of their illness. And it could have all been prevented, had they had enough common sense to get on PREP, and use lubrications/condoms.

Responsible adults use labels, and do so for REALLY good reasons. Assholes use labels in order to oppress others. Don’t be an asshole, be a responsible adult.

Too fucking long to read.

Hotel bars? fuck I have been trying in the wrong places

So why are you responding to it? Just don’t read it.

It takes 2 minutes for a person who is above a 5th grade reading level to read what is posted at R43.

If you’re not able to do so, or just don’t care to, keep it moving. Passive aggressive remarks don’t change two facts: it’s already posted, AND you don’t wanna read it.

An Oracle would have already known that, without even opening this thread.

r43, pay no attention, that's just what the kids say now when they feel like you're trying to show you're smarter than them. That and "cringe."

OP, your thread is all about how you want to label people, and yet you insist no one else can argue about labels.

Dear idiot at R35, I neither want nor put forth a fantasy. Send your baggage elsewhere.

R43 I don't give a fuck what they are. That is not the point of the post. Read again

R47, thanks. Lol!

Not sure that I’m smart or even smarter. What I do know is that I take ZERO chances with my health, which includes using condoms with men who tell me they’re straight.

I’ve dated self loathing bi men, when I myself, was still too young to understand that they’re out there, and are out there more so than people want to admit. Fortunately, I was responsible as fuck regarding my sexual health, even then.

I wasn’t even a legal adult when the AIDs crisis hit America, but I was living in NYC, and witnessed it up close and personal. And sadly, I lost dear and beloved friends, because no one understood WTF was going on, until it was too late.

So when I read posts like OP’s, I get a little worked up. It’s just blatant homophobia, disguised as “no labels”, or some such bullshit, and that type of ignorance can & WILL kill people, especially people whom OP claims he has sex with, which obviously doesn’t bode well for OP.

Dear idiot at R48.

I do not want to label them. I spoke only about their self identification. Reading comprehension can be taught.

Let's be honest here.

Men are horn dogs. Men fuck other men.

There is no such thing as a straight man.

OP has been reading too many E. Lynn Harris novels.

Wondering how many of these straight men getting fucked by "a guy helping them out" would allow their women to peg them.

The sexy man getting pegged on Chaturbate thread has me wondering.

OP, please have a mother-fucking seat, & try to take a deep breath, while shutting the fuck up for a few seconds.

What is the point of your post??? Do you not understand that we ALL CORRECTLY COMPREHEND what you wrote? Based on responses to your post, I comprehend that they also comprehend. And? Again, what’s YOUR point?

Are you attempting to inform us that you have sex with bisexual or gay men, who are not only married to women, but are also deeply closeted, and in deep denial of their very own denial? So what? Why does that matter to us? Do you believe it should matter to us? Why? Do you want us to agree with your sex partners, and pronounce on some anonymous message board, that they indeed, are just “bros” helping each other out? And if we did do so, what does that do for us, them, or you?

Let’s validate your ridiculous question and assertion of these specious claims made by your same sex partners. OP, yes, your male partners are just bros, as are you just a bro, and when you both suck each other's cocks, you’re just helping each other out.

LMFAO!

Do you feel better? I sure hope so.

Now, enjoy that feeling for whatever it’s worth, because that matters none. Your bros are GAY MEN OR BISEXUAL MEN, NOT JUST BROS, HELPING EACH OTHER OUT. TRUE HETEROSEXUALS DO NOT PARTNER UP WITH OTHER “BROS”, FOR SEX. THEY PARTNER WITH OPPOSITE SEX PARTNERS ONLY, AND THAT IS WHY THEY ARE STRAIGHT.

Also, no one cares what they claim, because here’s a situation where actions really speak louder than words. The only people who think that your original proposal or argument makes any sense, are people who are in denial of their sexuality. People in deep denial of their sexuality, use that denial to justify what they enjoy doing, yet are too cowardly to admit. And if they’re married, they unsurprisingly expose and infect their wives with STIs, because using condoms with other men, would be an act that reinforces the fact that they are gay, bi, and ashamed of being so.

OP, the only person that doesn’t truly comprehend why your original statement is illogical, therefore poses grounds for legitimate counter-arguments from others, is you.

You’re in denial about this, just like your bros.

#DLersTakeTrollBaitEverySingleFuckingTime

Several of the guy I jacked with or traded bjs with when were teenagers are now married, most with kids. I am Gen X but honestly, I don't remember any of us having major angst about it. We were all horny as hell and I guess we just trusted each other. I don't think those guys are closet cases, despite my clear memories of them enjoying whatever we did together. One ,a star athelete, told me he liked sex with me because he felt no pressure to perform and he could just be himself. He is now married with 4 children and he was constatnly having sex with girls at the same time we were sucking each other off. Do I think he is gay? No. Do I think he is BI? I guess technically. One married guy I hook up with from time to time told me he loves fucking his wife, but she hates giving head and he doesn't want her to do something she hates. Every situation is different. The Millenial generation and the ones after are all about no labels, fluidity etc. So I think we will see more bisexual behavior, not less, despite what you call the individual having the sex.

I’m really not that bright, as evidenced to my response to R47.

LMAO. Didn’t realize R47 was actually insulting me.

But guess what? That’s OK. At least I am not in denial about facts, and can admit when I look like a fucking fool. Unlike OP’s “bros”.

Is OP working at the White House, among Log Cabin bitches? Self-delusion doesn't make you "non-gay" or "non-bi."

R57, yes, we do, but you know do know that hundreds to even thousands of gay or bi men believe this shit, yes?

Also, R58, teens exploring their newfound desire for sex, is not usually an act that determines their sexuality.

Adults having sex with both men and women, makes that adult bisexual. There’s 100%, NOTHING wrong with being bisexual, and if millennials and Gen Z want to rename that as sexually fluid, that’s perfectly fine. But us older folks are still gonna call it bisexuality, because that’s what we called it back in the day, and that perfectly fine, too.

I think it's probably 2-4% but rising.

Dear idiot at R56 my point was clear.

I wanted to hear the experience of others and what they felt the percentages are.

It's about 50%.

[quote]The Millenial generation and the ones after are all about no labels, fluidity etc. So I think we will see more bisexual behavior, not less, despite what you call the individual having the sex.

This is true. Millennials are usually up for fucking anyone.

Wait, what about all those monagamous relationships everyone was talking about on the bareback thread? No married man is going to stray, everyine knows that.

Wait, what about all those monagamous relationships everyone was talking about on the bareback thread? No married man is going to stray, everyine knows that.

OP must be hopelessly naive or new to DL otherwise he would know the three elemental truths.

Any "gay" man who has ever touched a vagina is gay

Any "straight" man who has ever touched a cock is gay

there are no bisexual men and kinsey was a fraud

You forgot the most important one, R68: people lie about their age, their weight, their GPA in school, their work accomplishments, etc., etc., etc., and the most important one, wait for it: they lie about their sexuality.

I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that what a random hookup says may not be 100% reliable. If a man volunteers that he’s in a relationship with a woman, you have to wonder why he is providing this irrelevant information. Does he want you to blackmail him? No, obviously, he wants to increase his perceived hotness.

Dear Angry Hall Monitors, can I still stick my dick in the hole that makes it hard?

^🚹🚻

R58, I agree, which is why the question that matters isn't about sex per se, it's about emotion. A man who lets another man suck him off, or even fuck him, but who has no (for want of a better word) romantic feelings toward men is technically bisexual or "fluid", but he is heterosexual in every way that matters in the larger world. He dates women, he marries a woman and forms a conventional family with a woman, and he identifies with other straight, or "straight", men.

Unless you're just looking to have sex with a straight-identified man - and there's nothing wrong with that - then what difference does it make?

percentage of married men who have sex with men: <15%

of men who have sex with men, percentage who are married: 30-40%

I identify as Bi, and I have a theory that my desire to have sex with men is more like a "fetish", the way one might be into feet or BDSM. When I was tween starting puberty I fetishized men's dicks. I was obsessed with my erections and my friends erections and then became aware of the diversity of cocks in this world. Them being big and small and dark and brown and cut and uncut. I wanted to see every man's erect cock. This obsession morphed into what I believe is a "fetish" for sex with a man ergo his erect cock. I'm not into his heart, mind, or soul, just his dick and all the sexual things we can do with it. Of course my fetish expanded into his body type, muscles, body hair, ethnicity, etc. But I check out men more than women, for sure.

R27 This would be true if the gay men population was higher than the heterosexual men... It's so obvious that number of "heterosexual" men who had sexual contact with men is a lot higher than the "gays" with women.

R75 I have heard this before. Men who are not into men but into cock, I wonder if porn is part of that fetish.

As a gay kid that came out at 15 I had a hard time wrapping my head around MSM that “aren’t gay” until I read this book,

I think more men who identify as straight would have sex with other men if they knew no one else would find out and there were no consequences.

^ then they wouldn't be straight

Come for the hot stories, leave because of the stupid pointless bitchery. My favorite is R56 rant asking why he should care about the post? Ummmm... not even gonna touch that one. Hilarious.

Dear R80,

I believe he said 'identify as' therefore your comment was not needed.

Self identification and behavior can be very different.

Shout out to those who stayed on topic. It's ok, OP. I can read. I understood what you meant perfectly well.

R79, R75, R61, et. al on topic.

Ever try to donate blood? And the questionnaire they ask you to fill out? They don't ask if you are gay, they ask if you are "a man who has had sex with men." Us gay men check that box happily. OP is talking about the people who don't check that box, perhaps with a ring on their finger or not, and you know they swallow cock on the low. They clearly suck dick every now and then but for some reason can't bring themselves to check that box. What is your experience with these people? What's their deal???

I don't care what their deal is.

Elliot was the NY blood bank spokesperson when he was fucking hookers in the ass with no condom. Men lie about sex, both to others and themselves and none of it bothers me.

Study of undergrad students About 13% of males who identified as straight and 25% of females who identified as straight had had a same sex sexual experience. They reported this was either related to experimentation or performance (dare, requested by an other).

I think a lot of men are just sexual; they’re conditioned to express this in an exclusively heterosexual way, and then they are roped into marriage and kids and the expectation of monogamy. Fast forward a few years; now they have kids and a wife with a post-pregnancy body and a much different libido (if any at all), but they still have this sexual need that, for them, has not changed at all. Affairs with women are expensive, potentially messy, and likely to be revealed in the end; sex with men, on the other hand, is no-strings, anonymous and easy, and there is no shortage of gay men willing to service a straight man or initiate someone inexperienced to gay sex. Then it really is just “guys helping each other out” and nothing more.

However there are many other men who are closeted cock-hounds married to women, as well as genuinely bisexual men in heterosexual relationships. They're each a different thing entirely, but they do help explain the phenomenon.

Men are better looking today than they were prior to the 80's. In the wake of AIDS, gay men hit the gym in order to avoid looking like they had "the gay cancer". The healthier you looked the more likely someone would fuck you. Straight men noticed how men were looking better and women were noticing these hotter men. As time has passed and the invention of the internet, men are being objectified much like women have been for centuries. Ironically, Men like feeling as though they are being objectified. I think with male sexual imagery everywhere you look nowadays, the availability of porn, straight men have evolved to allow themselves to appreciate male beauty. When straight men say they would "go gay" for someone, who do they pick? Brad Pitt! Proof that they appreciate male beauty! Proof that men have sexually evolved.

I hooked up with a guy last night who said he was bi. He sucked me off and didn't want amything in return. He said he had a girlfriend who knew about his bi side and was ok with him playing around. We talked a lot beforehand and he mentioned his ex wife and his kid who lives with her. I saw pics of his kid and what I assume were he and his gf together.

This was not my first experience like this. Some guys in relationships with women do have sex with men. It happens.

I WOULD have sex with other men, but I'm almost 80 with ED. No one is interested and I NEED TO GET OFF. 'Can't do it by myself! (Whimper!) ;)

"I think a lot of men are just sexual; they’re conditioned to express this in an exclusively heterosexual way, and then they are roped into marriage and kids and the expectation of monogamy. Fast forward a few years; now they have kids and a wife with a post-pregnancy body and a much different libido (if any at all), but they still have this sexual need that, for them, has not changed at all. Affairs with women are expensive, potentially messy, and likely to be revealed in the end; sex with men, on the other hand, is no-strings, anonymous and easy, and there is no shortage of gay men willing to service a straight man or initiate someone inexperienced to gay sex. Then it really is just “guys helping each other out” and nothing more. " Last Monday at 3:22 PM

THIS GUY NAILED IT FOR ME. EXACT SCENARIO.

R90

The idiots may come back and attack you but I think you have restated it quite well.

another vote for r90. Truth.

When I was young, many years ago, I would go to one of my local gay bars every day when I got off work at 5 and the place was nearly empty and I would pick up a married man almost always within 15 or 20 minutes. They wanted to get off on their way home from work.

When I quit picking up people in bars, it became rare for me to hook up with a married man, because I never hit on any of the ones I knew and they didn't hit on me (except for a couple of memorable occasions). I was always out, by the way, to everyone who knew me.

But recently, since the Obergefell decision, men married to women (and who identify as straight) hit on me frequently. Mostly guys within 10 years or so of my age -- 65. In general I hear from them they liked jerking off with other boys and swapping head when they were 12 or so, and they still like doing it, just as a guy thing. I've actually heard that phrase many times: "It's a guy thing." Also comments like, "Well, it's not *gay*, it's just guys playing with our dicks and helping each other out."

Also, I've been told by young guys who identify as straight that they've had sex a few times with guys, just to see if they liked it. Well, I had sex with three women when I was young, before I decided I was 100 percent gay, so I assume the reverse can be true, too.

Part of my point here is that although it's totally anecdotal, it seems to me the SCOTUS ruling somehow gave a lot of men "permission," at least in their minds, to act on their same-sex impulses more than they did earlier. Those I've had sex with often say they didn't have sex with any men between adolescence and recent years, and it wasn't so long ago no college age boy would admit to having had sex with another guy if he wasn't already openly gay.

One other note, slightly OT: Generally I don't care about the guy's wife. It's not my job to protect her marriage. But a longtime married friend started trying to hook up with me, and I didn't feel comfortable, because I like his wife so much. He kept pushing until I gave in a bit and we fooled around and did some deep-tongue kissing, but nothing really happened, and I did not suck his dick, which was what he wanted. He kept after me for a year, despite me telling him no, repeatedly.

It's not that I have high moral standards, I just really like and admire his wife in many ways, and I was unwilling to become the guy who hugs her when we run into each other, while I'm fucking her husband behind her back. Even if it had turned out she knew and was OK with it, I wasn't OK with it.