What gifts are you sending our lively Darfur Orphan this Christmas?

The pathetic interns who have been trying to get into this site's lingo to shell out the stupid Disneywhatever today are beginning to really GRATE on my nerves!!!

Anti-slip socks for his cat.

Baja Fresh vouchers.

The original Joy of Cooking cookbook. The egg nog recipe is DIVINE!

A Barney's gift card.

Repurposed caftans, a dustbuster and my hunger suppression tablets.

A revolver with six bullets.

A ‘Little Orphan Annie’ CD.

I do recognize that the song “(The Sun’ll Come Out) Tomorrow” is a taunt in drought stricken lands.

A just out of reach sliced pineapple.

My old cassingle of Band Aid's Do They Know It's Christmas Time.

Well tonight thank God it's them, instead of you!

A case of Beaujolais Nouveau--on the very day it's released!

Please send me boxes of Kleenex. I'm still feeling tearful for Roseanne, who I was told here this morning only has $80 million with which to feed her family!

I'll re-gift everything because that's who I am, so please, no boxes of dirt.

But I already got you a free download for FROZEN 2 when it’s available and some Hummel figurines.

Your rebuffing of our gifts saddens me, DO.

I am going to make a donation to the feed the children campaign in his name :)

Another Darfur Orphan to make out with.

make out with or eat?

Please make sure the child you are sending is non binary identified r16

A lifetime subscription to DataLounge.

A pallet load of mint condition Beanie Babies.

A carton of Benson and Hedges 100s and a subscription to Highlights for Children magazine.

A lovely set of elegant dinnerware for eight

Is that little scamp begging for gifts again?

Charity begins at home. In Old Greenwich, specifically.

A butt plug and a year's supply of J-Lube.

Chrissy Metz’s leftovers.

That's cruel, r25. Chrissy Metz HAS no leftovers!

Socks. Everybody gets socks.

Red Hats for Darfur Orphan and all of his gal pals!

A years subscription to Cooks magazine

A really nice set of cuff links

A bubble bath gift set from Philosophy. The bottles have recipes on them!

A limited edition 'Read the Transcript" T Shirt in XXXXS

A fashionable cagoule and matching rucksack.

A fitbit smartwatch. I know you've always managed to stay thin but it is good to be mindful of your physical activity.

a flyswatter

A whole new kitchen set!

An Echo Dot.

Tickets to see Madonna's new theatre show.

They can wait 3 hours for the hag to come on stage.

The Julia Child oeuvre PLUS a signed DVD copy of Julia & Julia.

Jacks, when you're too weak from malnutrition to play any other game jacks is a good option.

Thoughts and prayers

Thoughts and prayers

Would it have killed you to have at least posted a picture or link OP? Would it? I mean would that have really been so hard? Would it? Why don’t you try to think more of others next time before you post? What's your problem? I mean really, what's your damn problem?

A parasol

A Instant Pot.

A Keurig coffee maker and microwave.

R7 and R10 own this thread.

A box of hair. It's been a shit year for me so why not spread the poo.

R48 maybe some from the Hooray for Hollywood hot shit throwing thread?

Non event Toast

I found this adorable mug on Etsy and immediately thought of him.

An ant farm. He’ll be a wealthy land owner and rancher!

R51 I think he'll need a mug cozy to go along with that. He can cradle his mug on a chilly winter's night in Al-Fashir.

A lovely fondue set

An organic Sudanese cookbook.

Slimming tea.

A box set of American punctuation symbols. It includes my favorite, the rare tilde!

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Fuck the little turd eater.

Still haven't gotten a thank you note for last year's subscription to The Reader's Digest.

A pet igneous rock.

I have reserved a Merry Christmas phone call from Lorenzo Lamas on HollywoodIsCalling.com.

DO as soon as someone gifts you a phone, please post the number so that I may complete the transaction.

[quote] What gifts are you sending our lively Darfur Orphan this Christmas?

Nothing. This is America, not some socialist country

A box of AYDS of course!

Curbs your appetite and helps you lose weight.

Regifted Tiffany Advent Calendar. Emptied and refilled with dried beans, lentils, rice, etc.

Has it ever occurred to anyone that Darfur Orphan might be nonbinary or trans? As if that poor child needs more strife in his life.

Who Are You?: A Kid's Guide to Gender Identity is what I will give him, just in case.

I shall send the poor dear a modeling contract if he just loses a bit of weight. fatty