Have you ever been alone on Thanksgiving?

Oh honey

Many times. Some years I found it less stressful than being with a big crowd. Other years it seemed lame or sad.

I remember the first time. My boyfriend and I had moved to a new city together that summer. He wouldn't take me to his grandmother's (80 mile trip) for Thanksgiving, because if he did, she would know he was gay. He went. I stayed home. I made grilled cheese and (homemade) tomato soup.

Absolutely liberating. I never cared again if I had the Traditional American Thanksgiving Dinner on Thanksgiving (or any other day of the year).

Yes. It sucked. I had plans but they fell through. I vowed to never let it happen again.

Yes, and it was glorious.

Yeah. My family has a big holiday party but I moved across the country a number of years ago. For the first few years, I spent Thanksgiving with some relatives I'm not super close with. Now, I either join a friend's family or just hang out by myself. Depends which feels more awkward to you: making small talk with strangers or doing your own thing.

OP, here’s the saddest song ever written for a holiday musical, just for you.

Last year I was driving a cab in the Boston area. I had to work either Thanksgiving or Xmas. I chose Thanksgiving.

I drove people home from methadone clinics at 8 AM. I picked up a deliriously happy woman from the state women's prison who had a mandatory 45 day sentence for a DUI. She was just thrilled she hadn't killed anyone. I drove crabby old ladies, a homeless guy with frostbitten feet. Henpecked husband's having to go get cream. Hookers, with cops paying their fares.

I had the best Thanksgiving of my life. No stress, no trying to impress anyone. No one being insufferably smug. No screaming fights.

Focus on what's important in life. Resist comparisons to a Norman Rockwell ideal. Be thankful for your many blessings. Give a gift to someone less fortunate. You'll have a great Thanksgiving!!!

Every year, Christmas, too.

Don't volunteer, though. Charitable organisations hate strays who turn up to soothe their loneliness on holidays.

I have and I watched "And Then There Were None" with Aidan Turner and made a homemade pizza and had a great day.

I would LOVE to have one Thanksgiving I didn’t have to spend with family. The drama and guilting I have to go through to avoid it isn’t worth it. I’m looking forward to my mother dying so I can go to London for the long weekend.

I’ve done this a few times in my life. Same with Christmas. I’ve mostly liked it, since it’s amazingly quiet and peaceful.

What’s bad is when other people find out, especially if they try to pick you up as a stray for dinner. Then you have to tell them you’d rather be alone.

One year in college, though, I wasn’t wanting to be alone at Christmas and felt a little depressed. Betty White’s Target commercial kept mocking me. I wanted to spend a season with Ginger and Spice!

My partner and I went on a cruise during Thanksgiving week instead of seeing family. The cruise was unexpectedly full

I love to fly on holidays like Thanksgiving and Xmas. The airports are completely empty and the workers are amazingly nice.

Would it have killed you to have at least posted a picture or link? I mean would that have been so hard? Would it? Why don’t you try to think more of others next time before you post?

Yes, a pic of a lonely, crying person would have been great

Go to Montréal or Havana for a long weekend.

A few times. After I broke up with my ex, he and I actually had Thanksgiving together for a few years. He loved to cook but he was broke. I had plenty of money and bought the food. He cooked and helped clean up.

I went to visit my uncle, aunt and cousins a couple times after I stopped having dinner with my ex (it was past time we had both moved on so I stopped inviting him). Then for 2-3 years I spent it alone. I had invitations, but there is nothing worse than being a stray at someone else’s TG dinner.

I actually didn’t mind it at all. I lined up movies, TV shows and DVDs to watch. I had plenty of booze on hand. I’d find TG-for-one recipes and have a nice dinner (best was a recipe for turkey legs with lemongrass gravy). I’d sleep in, lounge and leisurely wake up and read the headlines. Then I’d have a late breakfast of bacon and eggs with mimosas. I’d watch some shows, go for an afternoon walk, then maybe take a nap. Then I’d have dinner with some nice wine. I also would make some sort of holiday cocktails. Friday I’d not do much but watch TV and movies. I couldn’t drink that day since I’d usually overdo it on Thurs. Usually that weekend my friends would be back in town and we’d hit the bars.

Now I’m partnered again so never spend TG alone. But I kind of enjoyed the freedom to do whatever I wanted when I was alone. My family would ask me to come home, but I usually do that at Christmas so that’s too much traveling over a couple months. They live far from me.

I'll be home with the dog. I'm old and don't give a shit about the holidays anymore, I've had sufficient.

Kudos R20. As a 51 year old with too many commitments and stress, that sounds idyllic. Of course we always want what we can’t have.

Always, OP. For more than 25 years since my parents and siblings died in a private plane craah. I am estranged from my other relatives. Never been invited by friends, not that I cared for an invite.

In my apartment building, we always have "an orphan Thanksgiving."

People in the building with no Thanksgiving plans get together and have dinner at one of their apartments.

I've been twice and it's a blast because we'll all lived in the same building for at least a decade.

R19’s solo Thanksgiving sounds like heaven, but a good, informal orphan party is often a great option.

My boss didn't want the sympathy of a Gays And Strays lunch after his divorce and for the first few holidays would book on a group holiday like climbing Puncak Jaya and diving in Belize or travelling through Chile.

I stay at home and listen to my Gap playlists.

I've done it a few times, mostly because my sister was always too cheap to fly her son home the day before Thanksgiving or Christmas, so it would have to be postponed a day. But I spent a few alone because everyone else had plans that couldn't include me for whatever reason. Technically, it's just any other day, so any loneliness I felt was more due to feeling pathetic. But I also like spending time alone, and there's a nice benefit to doing whatever I want on the holidays, eat only the holiday food I like, drink the cocktails and wine I prefer, and not be answerable to anyone.

r19 = Boozegiving

The hardest part is eating my Thanksgiving dinner alone at Luby's Cafeteria.

I love their turkey and dressing, however.

My first job out of college I was living in Minot, North Dakota, a drive of about 10 hours from friends and family; and I had to work the next day. So I spent Thanksgiving alone. I watched the entire Godfather Trilogy. That was OK, but being a dumb 23-year-old I failed to plan *anything* for a meal. I didn't even buy a damn frozen pizza! And came to learn too late that *EVERY SINGLE RESTAURANT IN MINOT* was closed on Thanksgiving. McDonald's was closed. The crappy strip mall Chinese restaurant was closed. Domino's was closed. The grocery stores were all closed. I ended up eating convenience store plastic-wrapped sandwiches, potato chips and candy bars for both meals. It sucked.

Most of them. My first time alone on Thanksgiving I was seventeen, and I thought having nowhere to go was the end of the world. My parents weren't speaking to me because I wanted to take a gap year before college. My roommates were gone, so I stayed alone, pouting. I ate a can of cherry pie filling for my meal. Now, forty years later, I cherish the time alone.

My family lives about 2.5 hours away, and a few years ago there was an ice storm the night before Thanksgiving, so I just stayed home. I ordered Chinese and watched movies. It was heaven. No pressure to get anything done or go anywhere.

Three years ago, I decided to head to Las Vegas for the week of. It was the first Thanksgiving after my grandmother died, and I just couldn't face it. Everyone thought I was crazy for going alone, but no other city is easier for a single person vacation. I splurged and got a nice room at the Cosmopolitan for a few days and then two days downtown.

I thought I would wind up being really lonely, but I wound up meeting a fun group of people early one, and we spent quite a bit of time together including Thanksgiving dinner. They were all from other countries, and we still have a text chain going to check in with each other. It's great, and we're planning a five year anniversary trip.

I wish I would get stuffed by big meat all night...

I have a ginormous family, so solitary Thanksgivings have been rare, but when I was living 3000 miles from them, I once volunteered to be a server in a very large municipal-sponsored community thanksgiving. I enjoyed serving, but I didn't enjoy sitting down later with a table full of complete strangers to eat. Many other years I've cooked orphan Thanksgivings for friends. One year Thanksgiving followed a hurricane (in which most people lost their power), by a week in Tallahassee and I had one of the few working stoves, (even though it only had 3 working stovetop burners). I invited about 7 friends I knew had no power to come eat, and we had a great time.

But when my 97 yo mother passes (I'm her caregiver), I may spend several years avoiding all family occasions. Some of the suggestions above sound delightful and I'm taking notes. I always make a duck for myself on Thanksgiving, even if I'm cooking turkey for others, so that part of my tradition will stay.

The las Vegas trip sounds fun! I dread the holidays because everyone in my family is divorced and estranged and I have to drive around different places. The year before last I went to Italy for Christmas and left the whole stinking mess behind. That was the best time.

Depression is the difference between expectation and reality.

Funny, I found hosting Thanksgiving depressing, eventually decided I wasn't doing it anymore, and have been alone for many years and no complaints here. OP if it was up to you to do the all preparations of the meal the entire expense and most of the cleanup, you would rather be alone also.

Yes, every year for the last several years. My cousins always invite me and my brother, but I shouldn't drive after dark. My boyfriend always goes to spend Thanksgiving with his family in Cleveland.He always calls and checks in on me, though. It's not a big deal.

Oh dear God R34 - 97!! I pray my mother goes by 90. The thought of having to deal with her for another 12 years is depressing beyond belief. I’ll be 66. Or dead.

Alone for Christmas and for NYE. Never for TG.

I was alone for one New Years Eve... temporary falling out with my friends with whom I made plans.

I sat and watched TV in the dark and drank myself to sleep.

For whatever reason, I remember I watched Home Shopping. Up until midnight, it was Adrienne Arpel doing makeovers and then some weight loss stuff called Alli after midnight. I was watching TV for ugly fat people.

Most depressing night ever.

Several times in my life: Estranged from parents in my freshman year, when I came out. I don't even remember what I did for Thanksgiving, but it didn't involve a lavish meal anywhere -- all my friends had gone home and the dust-up with my parents came right before they were all leaving, so no one knew I would be alone. My partner died about 4 days before Thanksgiving in 2008, and since then, I have felt great ambivalence toward what was once my favorite holiday. I have skipped it altogether some years. Gone out with friends. Done potlucks and smoked a lot of pot. I studiously avoid and decline invitations from people I don't know very well -- I don't want to get stuck for HOURS in their cramped houses, listening to smalltalk or Trump-talk or watching over-stimulated kids turn into prize-winning assholes. A couple years ago I cooked Greek food, drank wine, smoked pot, went for a walk, took a nap and really enjoyed the quiet. But I'm an introvert and can tolerate long stretches alone without feeling too weird about it. But I get it ... the Holidays alone can be pretty daunting if you're used to having someone else or a whole lot of other people around.

One year, I cooked a Marie Callender's Turkey Pot Pie (not that bad, actually), and raised a glass of wine and wished myself a Happy Fucking Thanksgiving. That was it. Perfectly fine, and it still makes me laugh a little.

R43 - that’s my dream. Goddamn those Marie Callender pot pies are like crack. I’m assuming.

-r43- -- Yes, I have to be in the mood for one, but they ARE tasty. -r31- wins the pity-party palooza prize for consuming a can of cherry pie filling for Thanksgiving. I CANNOT stop laughing.

Once. I lied to my family and said I missed my flight, but in reality, I never went to the airport. I just didn't want to go.

Ate at an Indian place. It was nice.

Resumed going back to the drama since then.

^ Ooops. I meant -r44-

I'll be alone this Thanksgiving. Thought I'd take myself to a neighborhood West Village restaurant. Cowgirl Hall of Fame wants $65, Philip Marie is asking $59.95. Maybe I'll sleep through it.

I worked movie theaters for years. We are open 365 days a year. I had just left the job and I was alone so I cooked a full thanksgiving meal and spent the afternoon bringing plates to my friends that were working their theaters.

One year I was invited to two dinners. Didn't want to go to either. First at 1:00 PM, the other at 4:00. I worked in a hospital, so I told the first one I was on the 8:00-4:00 shift and the second, 4:00-Midnight.

Work at a homeless shelter giving meals to the homeless. That will keep you busy, you probably get a free meal too, and you can meet new people, particularly the other workers.

I don’t mind being alone on the holidays. I make my Thanksgiving dinner and watch a cache of old favorite movies like Miracle on 34th Street and Trains, Planes, and Automobiles. I don’t watch the cockamamie parade but I will pop The Sound of Music in the DVD player if it’s not on t.v. And there is always football. I come here to hang with the tribe and peruse Twitter for other sad bastards;) I don’t like turkey so I roast a chicken. This year it’s a spatchcock chicken with peruvian spices. It cooks fast and the skin gets nice and crisp. I bake some croissants or biscuits and have all the other sides and pumpkin pie. And some cider. And a few tokes of a joint. I can lounge around in my pajamas all day and eat when I want. It’s blissful.

And, no. I’m not fat. Even if you think I type that way. You beautiful bastards.

Yes, and will be again this year. I work in hospitality, and have to work the Wednesday night before and Friday after Thanksgiving - I will have the Thursday off.

I'm not really into turkey, so can easily miss that food and trimmings. Last year I went to Wegmans and bought the food I like but do not make myself). I had sushi, lasagna and a slice of key lime pie.

Then I went home, lit the fireplace, watched some football and Netflix, and went to bed early. It was a relaxing day.

Yes, I've been alone on Thanksgiving. I live in reasonable traveling distance from my family. But the last time I went "home" for Thanksgiving was tiring and stressful. My low back went out for no reason, headache, etc.

Back when I was never alone for the holidays because my dad was still alive, I had a such a horrendous Christmas with him and his wife (he had an excuse because he was sick; she's just an asshole), that I essentially treated myself to a personal Christmas when I got home after New Year's. I ordered takeout, bought a bunch of goodies online that I actually wanted for Christmas, and enjoyed myself for a night. It's been long enough since I've had to deal with toxic family, I guess I've almost forgotten that spending the holidays alone isn't necessarily the worst thing.

I have no problem being alone on a holiday, Christmas in particular, but I really like having thanksgiving with family and friends,. I don't get stressed anymore. I sort of step back mentally and observe. It's just for maybe three or four hours at the most. I can always think of an excuse to leave at a reasonable time. If I'm with family, I arrive about five minutes before they serve dinner, and leave about 20 minutes after it's over.

Alone for every holiday for more than 10 years... it is strange the first times, but we get over it. That is also what it means to be gay for some of us.

One year I was sick, just coming down with a cold and I could tell the next day I would be really sick. So the night before, I cooked enchiladas and chocolate cake. Ate that for the next few days while I got through the cold. It was great. I’ve never worried about being alone on the holidays since.

The secret to having a good holiday alone is to do something special that you like, that you can’t necessarily do if other people are around. Buy and wear fancy pajamas all day. Cook your favorite food. Watch your favorite movie. Burn scented candles. Whatever is fun for you.

Yes! And it was my favorite Thanksgiving ever. The Christmas I remember most fondly was also spent alone, eating Del Taco and walking on the beach. I loathe the holidays and traveling to see awful family that I try to avoid the rest of the year

I love being alone on the holidays!

Once, sort of. I was on a work trip to Australia and didn't want to pass it up.

Went to dinner with Australian colleagues that night so not totally alone. Was odd to talk to family on Friday afternoon who were first having Thanksgiving dinner.

Weather was beautiful, so was Sydney and so were Aussie guys so I was not unhappy

I did it once. It was just me and my dog. I watched The Twilight Zone, drank wine, got high, had roasted chicken sandwiches. I talked to my family on the phone for a few minutes. It's fine if you don't dwell on being by yourself. I am also the baby of the family and a latchkey kid so being alone has never bothered me.

Yes. Oddly, perhaps, it doesn’t bother me. A year because I’m older and hate people. I expect to be alone this year.

I travel with my partner to Texas. He has two married children and three grandchildren living there. The three day drive is nice stopping in some fun gay bars and drag revues on the way. His children alternate the holiday and I like to cook so it’s fun to cook for a group. His kids are without drama and they love their father and they see me as a friend.

[quote] His kids are without drama and they love their father and they see me as a friend.

A friend who share's their dad's bed?

Any time I can get away with it!

Thanksgivine was my least favorite holiday as a kid (toxic family). Plus I'm not crazy about the bland, traditional food. Nor am I interested in going to a Thanksgiving with anybody else's toxic family either. Doing these things just ruins what is otherwise a couple days off work.

Yes, every year for about a decade, by choice. I have had offers, but I didn't want to travel around New York City or go to New Jersey or another borough outside Manhattan. I start preparing my big meal weeks before, getting everything ready so I don't have to rush shop. I have so far two turkey drumsticks, some sliced turkey breast, potatoes (instant as well as little red potatoes which I will dice up and add to the instant), stuffing (adding my own ingredients to the package including mixed veggies and turkey drippings), and an apple pie covered in cinnamon. I watch old movies throughout the day (this year will begin a series of biblical epics heading towards Christmas), and rest as much as I can. Our office is closed on Friday and I plan to go nowhere, including to see my regular social circle, until Thanksgiving is all done. It's a good excuse to unwind in preparation for the holiday season. I will talk to friends and some family members on the phone, but will most likely just p.m. a few people through Facebook.

Yes, and it was on that memorable occasion that I tried this recipe. The results were inedible. Maybe you might have better luck with it.

I got a DUI in my early 20s and I had one of those breathalyzers in my car. I came home from school and decided to drive to the next town over to see some friends the night before. We ended up getting completely wasted and when I went to drive home the next afternoon the breathalyzer said I still had too much alcohol in my system to drive. My friends had already left to their own dinner plans and I was stuck so I walked down the block to a carls jr and had a cheeseburger for dinner

I demand to be alone on thanksgiving. I send my husband to his mother’s house. I hate thanksgiving, when I was a kid I had to *dress up* in uncomfortable clothes & go to my paternal grandmother’s house, sitting around waiting for food. My parents were weird & so were my grandparents. We used to go to my paternal grandmother’s house every Sunday to visit and could smell delicious meat roasting in the oven. They never invited us to stay for dinner. My father sometimes stayed while they sat down & ate because he wanted to see the end of a tv show (they had color tv). Meanwhile, my sister & I would be starving because we’d been smelling food for 2 hours & had nothing to eat.

So we’d sit in my grandmother’s living room on Thanksgiving waiting & waiting for food while the grownups had drinks. We only had a can of salted peanuts and we ate too many because we were so hungry & then we got a stomach ache. The only thing to drink was ginger ale, which I hated. My grandmother always put disgusting candied yams on my plate and commanded me to eat them. “They taste like candy!”

Bitch, they taste like maple syrup poured over a wet lump of dirt and my stomach is fucking killing me from too many peanuts.

No presents. Wtf was the purpose? My mother’s family was staunch Northern Irish Catholic (we were never invited to their house) so I went to catholic school & we looked at Puritans as crazy nutbag fundamentalist Protestants in Halloween costumes. We’d just as soon they’d all died of starvation. My N. Irish grandparents didn’t even celebrate Thanksgiving.

When I got older my paternal grandparents moved & my mother worked every other Thanksgiving so my father & I got foisted (or “foistered” as Trump would say) on one of my mother’s siblings, where my father would drink beers and fall asleep. His after dinner routine during the week was come home, eat dinner, drink beer & sleep on the couch for an hour. Thanksgiving was no different for him. One of my aunts had 8 kids & they were all sitting on the couch after thanksgiving dinner, so my father would tell one of them to get him a pillow & he’d lie down on the floor and go to sleep.

When I worked in hospitals I always volunteered to work on thanksgiving b3cause I hated it so much. The hospital workers would plan thanksgiving dinner at work in a teeny, tiny cramped break room. I said “No thanks, y’all can eat that stuff but I’m not touching it, so I’ll bring in soda, paper plates & cups & plastic cutlery & be done with it.”

[quote] I got a DUI in my early 20s and I had one of those breathalyzers in my car. I

You don’t get one of those breathalyzers in your car for “a” DUI. You get them for multiple DUIs.

[quote]potatoes (instant as well as little red potatoes which I will dice up and add to the instant), stuffing (adding my own ingredients to the package including mixed veggies

I suppose it makes sense that someone who makes instant mashed potatoes (especially such a bastardized version) would say "veggies." What such a person is doing on Datalounge, however, I have no idea.

I’m not that person but I love the taste of instant mashed potatoes.

I love real mashed potatoes, too.

They’re totally different, but I like them both.

I want Phoebe Cates to do r71's monologue!

r72 in California, there is a mandatory suspension of your license by the DMV but this can be avoided by getting an interlock device

R66, a gay friend of mine introduced me to his gay Dad at a Pride event once. His Dad was more stereotypically gay than my friend was. I kept my mouth shut but wanted to ask “are you kidding?, is ‘Dad’ a code word for something?”

My best Thanksgiving started this way. I didn’t feel like driving six hours one way after the family shit show the previous year. Had a friend who was only an hour from her family but felt the same, plus she had to work a shift at the hospital Thanksgiving Day. So I made a non-traditional dinner for us both (lamb), and after we decided to go to a local bar everyone talked about but we’d never been to.

We assumed some ridiculous and obviously fake “bar names”, and had a blast chatting up total strangers.....a handful of whom ended up becoming friends. That was sixteen years ago, and we’re all still friends - been through marriages, kids, divorces, jobs, etc....together! Many of us have moved, but we stay in touch and when we’re back in town we still get together and it’s a blast to reminisce Thanksgiving of ‘03!!

I' ve never been alone for TG. I would be SO SAD if that happened. But for Christmas I welcome it. I get a little melancholy on Christmas Eve, but by the next morning as I eat my favorite pancakes, I perk up...and no, I do not type fat.

I'm going to R78's home.

R8 should be a playwright, he tells a great story. If I weren't already old, I'd want to be a cab driver when I grow up.

Well OP, after the last holidays spent with my Trump loving, racist family two years ago, I decided never again.

So for the past few years, I pick a nice restaurant and a friend and I go to dinner. Her family lives in another state and she can't always make it there. It's SO much more enjoyable than spending it with the family (who, btw, didn't even invite me this year).

Honestly, if I was alone, I'd be fine with that too. I would spend the day in PJs and allow myself to do whatever the hell I wanted.

Holidays are overrated.

R80, I’m R78.

Thank you, and I would be glad to have you at my home for Thanksgiving! As in all practicality it won’t happen, I just need to know two things:

1. For our non-traditional dinner: lamb, duck, or rabbit? Or another suggestion?

2. Will you be “Martini” or “Rossi”? (Yes, as previously stated we had ridiculous and obvious bar names). I don’t care, as long as you appreciate the reference and can honor the tradition!!

Regardless of whether you respond or not....I’ll be thinking of you on Thanksgiving Day! I hope you (and all reading this) have a great one!

Love you, R83. I will be happily alone after refusing an invite to an in-law's home where there will be an insane right wing asshole.

Thanks again.

XOXOXO, Martini

R8, your post is like the anthology films that I love -- such as "Grand Hotel" and "If I Had A Million", etc. -- several separate stories based on a common theme. Your theme is a cab driver's Thanksgiving shift where each passenger has his/her own story:

[quote] I drove people home from methadone clinics at 8 AM. I picked up a deliriously happy woman from the state women's prison who had a mandatory 45 day sentence for a DUI. She was just thrilled she hadn't killed anyone. I drove crabby old ladies, a homeless guy with frostbitten feet. Henpecked husband's having to go get cream. Hookers, with cops paying their fares.

I love them all -- can't decide whether my favorite is the grateful DUI woman or the cops paying for the hookers' rides, but every one is worth learning about. You did experience the true spirit of Thanksgiving, no wonder it was the best one of your life -- I'm glad you shared it here, hope you have many more like it.