Ballum - gay couple in love EastEnders

Sick of the Martin/Ben saga. It needs to end.

“I’m cooking Ben chicken pasta tonight”

I am wanting Martin to bang nerd lez Sonia and lardy harridan Stacey to walk in on them.

Kenyu is leaving at Christmas.

Can he take Louise and Lisa with him?

Why the fuck are the characters departures being announced this far before Christmas?

Will we ever see them in bed together? The most "daring" scene was them undressing each other while making out. We still haven't got a bed scene. I want to see them in bed together, post sex is fine by me. I realize it's a soap so they can't be too explicit. Emmerdale had Robron in bed together a lot. Seems like it should be possible for EastEnders too.

R4 Good. Terrible actor. I admit he's nice to look at though.

I've thought this for a long time - Tamzin Outhwaite is a shit actor.

Max needs to lose weight. He's getting fatter by the episode.

Still no bed scene for Ballum. I doubt we'll ever get it. Only gay kissisng is allowed on this conservative soap.

R10, Ben and Paul were shown sitting up in Paul's bed after sex, and Ben and Johnny were shown in Ben's bed during their one night hook up, so it could happen.

Didn't they once have a scene them with one of them laying on top of the other one on a couch together?

R12, yes. There's been bed scenes. Oates is pandering to shippers so she'll probably show them doing their washing together and other domestic tasks that shippers delight in.

Geez ... They had Christian & Syed in bed nearly a decade ago. Very sexy with Syed luxuriating in Christian's shag carpet.

The overhead shots were nice too. Both of them looking naked. None of this stuff where one of the guys has a shirt on.

EastEnders monopoly game for Christmas anyone?

I kind of laughed when Mel walked into the oncoming lorry and went *SPLAT*.

Was her last line, "I'm coming, HUNTER!" ??

So glad to see the back of manic Mel. Ben is getting fatter with every episode. What the fuck do they feed them at the Elstree canteen?

Callum got a bit fatter as well but he’s lost a bit of weight.

Hopefully the new set comes with a gym.

At least wardrobe is trying to assist by put Ben in dark "slimming" shirts with vertical stripes.

NO way has Ben gone straight. He's is merely pretending.

What is it with soaps like EE and Corrie and thuggish loan sharking? So hackneyed and boring.

O'Connor was widely criticized, but the white collar crooks of Weyland & Co. were far more modern, interesting.

Adios Louise.

(Is Lisa out as well? What purpose would she serve?)

Tilly Keeper is a good looking actress who will get some excellent roles elsewhere. Poor Jac Jossa never managed to lose her baby weight and is now on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. She was stunning when she was thin but now has massive arms and legs.

Thank goodness she’s gone. She is a terrible actress. And for EE, that’s saying something.

Well, apparently we won't have to worry about this filling our screens anytime soon.

[quote] Soap bosses allegedly met with the actress four months ago to discuss her return as Lauren Branning, but she turned it down in order to pursue other opportunities.

Good, now they can set about finding a new Lauren and new Peter and not have to concern themselves with casting to one or the other in the former duo.

So with that "intense" sex, what are the odds that Whit's going to be preggers with Leo's baby?

Others in The Vic were already musing that Leo's the one, and they could get busy on starting their family.

R26 maybe Jose’s was offended that Kate Oates took one look at her, mourned how chunky Tony Clay and Max Bowden have become and told her to go on a diet.

Former beta-male, Stacey-less Martin is looking very hot right now. Giving him a beard and an anger management problem is a gift. Thank you, Kate Oates.

Anyone else find Ben and Callum a completely unbelievable couple now they are actually together? They have no chemistry and I just feel awkward when they are being couple-y with each other.

R30 I just find Ballum ito be Dullum.

Hopefully, with mechanic, Keanu, soon exiting, we'll see more of Lance & Cole fixing things at The Arches.

NuPeter is quite furry.

(Dayle Hudson)

I want to like Ballum and they have their moments but I agree that it feels a bit off. The kisses feel a bit less forced than the last years of Robron at least.

When Callum joins the force, they should have him meet a hot cop. He'd be the 'good' boyfriend in opposition to 'bad' boyfriend, Ben. Triangles are more interesting than domestic bliss (especially at this stage of the game).

What's Jacob Ifan from "Cuffs" doing?

I think Callum should definitely meet a hot older gay cop when he does his training, I'd like to see a built, confident, masculine, completely comfortable in his sexuality, unapologetic type of gay guy on TV for a change.

I'm kind of glad. Callum just came out and needs to be out there dating around and not setting into a long term relationship with his first boyfriend.

That would be great R35! And I totally agree R36. Callum's already wasted enough time in the closet. He needs to explore his sexuality for awhile. .

I am here for bearded, angry Martin. He’s very hot.

Are Martin and Tubbs fucking in the back of the van yet?

I'm glad to see Callum dating around.

Me too, r40. Callum came out and pretty much just jumped into a relationship with Ben. It's good for him to explore what, and who, else is out there while Ben's rejecting him

I thought of DL when Phil told Sharon she was dead to him. I spend waaay too much time here.

and they killed off Keanu. I'm glad Louise was part of the plan

R43 Don't you imagine Keanu's shooting was faked, or at least, the bullet didn't actually kill him?

Weren't there spoiler photos taken of Keanu and Karen filming at the airport? .. And what about the photos where Martin has Linda? .. She was wearing the same Santa outfit we've seen her in. Was she passed out drunk in the back of the van or something?

But yeah, the Louise reveal was a nice surprise. btw - She must have taken advantage of Walford General's Spray Tan Clinic while she was in hospital.

Poor Ben.

I have little to no sympathy for Ben.

Of course, we knew they faked Keanu's murder, but I WAS very nicely surprised when Linda got totally frustrated with the boys and just grabbed the gun and shot Keanu herself. Made me laugh out loud, literally.

But how did they expect Keanu to just show up at some hospital without his bullet wound being reported to the police? Recall, it wasn't that long ago when Mick got shot by Halfiwt during The Big Heist, and that was the very reason they gave as to why Mick couldn't go to the hospital, with them enlisting Mariam to perform the surgery at the Queen Vic.

Friday January 17 ....

[quote] Rainie Branning sets Callum Highway up on a date.

R29 it’s good that HW finally remembered Martin’s original characterisation. I was getting sick of pretending to believe that he was a Zen drippy heroic nice-guy through & through when that was never the point of him. In his original scripts he was written as a shouty, passionate person who lacked in both intellect & moral firmness what he made up in intensity & earnestness. He was always easy to coerce but even easier to trigger, and that’s what made him so perfect for a dramatic soap opera. I understand that like all men he’s matured some since his twenties, but people don’t change personalities so drasticallt as it seemed he had for a while. I’m glad that he’s been reset back, and hope that other legacy characters benefit from the same.

R3 Stacey is a harridan, but Sonia isn’t a lesbian and I don’t know why creative & fans keep insisting that she is. At best she’s a woman-leaning bisexual, though I’d sooner put her at Kinsey 2 or 3 given that she lived blissfully married to a man for almost a decade (and by all subtextual indication still has feelings for that same man to this day...)

R30 yes go OFF 👏👏👏👏👏

Ben & Johnny had way more chemistry and they were just FWB rebounds. We were shown that they cared about one another, instead of just being told. Imagine if the same effort & screentime had been invested into Bonny as Ballum? Maybe Johnny will be back someday soon..🙏

^^js...

^hmmm nothing to see here

I smell queer

Louise Mitchell has turned into a Soprano character.

Louise is also exiting the show. How is she going out?

I smell boredom.

Louise isn't as steely as she makes out.

And Martin's back selling fruit and veg.

Forget Ballum.

I only watch to enjoy the gorgeous Gray!

The problem with the the delightful Crazy Gray is that he is paired with slime puppy Leo.

R59 Gray canned Leo, so they no longer work together.

Leo opened a market stall selling protein shakes, so he can be in Whitney's face everyday.

He's now Kush and Martin's problem.

Um, Leo as the ham in a Martin and Kush sammich.

^^^ That might 'cure' Leo of his obsession with Twit.

I thought EE was supposed to introduce a new bi character?

R63 I assumed that was the Ash Kaur (Panesar) character.

I really do think Gray will murder Chantelle. They have to step this up a notch to differentiate it from the Trevor/Mo abuse storyline.

Kathy owns a cafe and bar, but she can't even rent her own place to live? Kudos to Ian for choosing friendship over his mother. She's generally an annoying nag.

I hope the rumor is true that we might actually find out a bit about what the fuck Kathy was up to in those years when she pretended to be dead.

Someone's going to die in the river!

(Thank got it won't be Lance or Cole! They'll be at the 2020 Sitges Carnival that week.)

Couldn’t it be Keanu?

I might be wrong, but didn't Mitch recently mention something about never having learned to swim?

I could see him witnessing something between Chantelle and Gray on the boat, and when he later confronts Gray, he ends up going "accidentally" overboard.

God, I hope so. Mitch has been a total waste of space.

I think this is the second time Sharon's cataloged Phil's sexual peccadilloes, since the big reveal. But neither time have they had Sharon mention Phil's hook-up with Denise, which resulted in a baby. That wasn't that long ago, and Sharon stood by Phil and whatever decision he wanted to make about the baby. I get the idea that they don't want to point to the glaring hypocrisy going on here, because you'd think this would be the first thing she'd bring up.

Good point, R72. Jesus. You’d think at least Kim would have pointed that out, if she was around, that is.

Bowden on Lorraine.

Simon was played by DTC's husband, Paul Sloss.

if Callum doesn't want Simon, I will

I'd take Simon too!

And I wonder if Simon knows the original "Hot Paramedic" named "Tom Pepper," who was similarly denied by Johnny?

R69 Keanu looks alive in the ambulance. In another scene, we've got Jack on hand when a body is pulled out of the water.

I'm 2 weeks behind - what have I missed?

R79 You can read decent story catch-ups at whatsontv.co.uk. The link should list every episode from 1 January 2020 forward.

Most incredible from Friday's episode was Callum saying 'No' to Simon's tasty schlong when they met up at The Prince Albert. .. Seriously?!? He may not be gay after all! .. Even lesbian Tina was ready to jump on that, and Lance & Cole are already plotting a medical emergency to get paramedic Simon inside their flat for a three-way.

I’m pretty sure Keanu won’t survive the boat thingie.

What did Jessie Wallace do to get herself suspended?

She’s an utter cunt, that’s why. And a drunk.

Hallelujah ... Boring Bex is leaving.

One source is calling it "Bexit" .. lol!

The trailer is kinda dull (imo). (If I were a lapsed viewer, I don't think this would get me excited enough to tune in.)

Laughing with the commenter who's sick of the "fam-er-lee" shtick.

I hope Denny’s the one who gets killed next week. Bleu Landau has a stupid name and zero acting talent.

I am annoyed that I started hate-watching EastEnders again.

This promo is a little better, but really short.

Seeing Ian underwater in the boat gives me hope.

I hope Linda survives. I despised sober Linda. Drunk Linda is so despicable, I love her. Hope they don't do an instantaneous clean-up, a la Rainey.

There’s a lot of speculation that Linda will go glug glug and I don’t mean from booze.

The head bobbing up/down in the river water definitely looks like it belongs to a man to me. Here's a screencap at the10 second mark.

Meanwhile, Mick and Linda look like they're trapped in some enclosed space in the boat, which is filling with water? Ian to the rescue? (Maybe it's a good thing Ian gave Mick swimming lessons back in 2014 .. lol!)

The drowned guy is probably that sick old guy Jean is dating.

If that happens what a fucking copout it would be.

As a huge fan of The Young Ones, it's so weird seeing Vivian on a soap.

I've kinda gotten that impression that Daniel and Jean aren't on the river cruise, and they're part of "the drama going on back in Walford." .. Plus, yesterday, Daniel kinda put the kibosh on using the tickets that Jean had secured to be on the boat, and later on, he even gifted them to Raine, so that she and Stuart could go.

I expect it will be Keanu in the river.

I don’t think it will be Keanu because it appears that Gray will murder Chantelle and they won’t have Karen suffer that grief overload.

Another promo.

Linda's an asshole. That's all.

Glaringly odd that they're not having Linda's favorite Sausage come down from Manchester to check out her assholery. At this point, adding NuJohnny to the cast would make more sense than bringing in NuPeter. Jonathan could take a job with Gray. Also, where's Linda's mother, Elaine? She's just over in Watford. You'd think Mick would try to involve Linda's mum in some kind of intervention.

Maybe that Chinese lady will infect the boat with coronavirus?

That quick shot in the beginning was Ian in the river.

Poor Thames. I imagine he'll shit his pants.

Anyone else think that Ian will end up nearly losing his life in order to save Denny?

Sorry, R103, but do we care? I don’t give a shit about Ian or Denny. I hope Denny dies. What other reason would Sharon have to turn to Ian? I can see them marrying and she later finds out his role in Denny’s death. The keys Ian dropped would no doubt be a tip-off. I do think it would be fun to see Sharon and Ian as a married couple for a while, at least until Christmas.

R104 - I was coming from the point-of-view that, although things. look bright now, Denny's trapped and Ian is the only one who knows, and Ian's sinking in the Thames, but, oh, hell, they'll both be saved.

I could see them going for the melodramatic juxtaposition of having Sharon's precious Denny die while she gives birth to another.

R105, I’m not so sure about that. Ian trying to save Denny (and failing) would be a component in Sharon turning to Ian. We’ve gotten a lot of hints already that they’re going in this direction. How else could it happen under any other circumstances?

I can't believe the woman playing Ian's mother as his mother. She looks way younger and healthier than he does.

June Brown (Dot) says she wrote a limerick about her last appearance:

[quote] I went back to do a good story. Alas and alack, when I got back it had gone up in smoke. I got a small part, a very small part. And that ended up as a big wet fart. Alas and alack, I will never go back.

So, Callum couldn’t muster the energy to let Shirley know he was there? Really?

Where is the limerick?

R111

Okay, but where is the limerick?

"Limerick" is rather specific.

I know what a limerick is, R114. I can't help it, if she doesn't.

She said it on a podcast.

Not-so Precious Denny, RIP.

Hot NuPeter looks about 6'4.

The episode was a bit too frenetic.

So I guess they didn't have Ben go looking for Callum at the warehouse, 'cuz he wouldn't be able to hear him regardless, as he seems like he's deaf. .. Lost his hearing aid in the water or something?

Though, by this time, he'd probably be able to smell Callum.

Poor, poor Sharon. I kinda suspected they would kill of who they did as it opens a fresh storylines for Ian, Phil, Ben etc. I kinda wish it had been Phil who broke the news though.

Since he caused the boat crash and inadvertently set up Dennis to be stabbed to death, Phil really does continue to wreck Sharon's life.

Thank god they killed Denny, That kid’s “acting” totally sucked. Maybe if he goes go lessons and learns how to deliver lines not in a flat monotone maybe he’ll get on Sex Education Season 3. He is a good looking kid.

The potential for Ian and Sharon now as a (married) couple in immense.

Once upon a time...

Will Sharon go mute again like she did when Dennis was stabbed to death?

I wonder if/when Sharon will check her phone and get the message from Denny about Ian locking him a room on the boat saying he was trapped and couldn't get out. Will someone intercept it?

Ian causing Denny's death means that a Sharon-Ian romance is inevitable.

Dude. Ian killed Denny.

Imagine going from this to Ian Beale..

Imagine going from this to Ian Beale..

Well, she already when from Phil to that.

If this were an American soap, Ian would not own up to having caused Denny's death and he and Sharon will end up betrothed. Someone will find out what happened eventually, and then we get the drama when Sharon finds out what happened.

With Ian, Sharon could just relax and let herself go, i.e. not worry about her weight, stop with the bleaching and hair extensions, and forget about slapping on five pounds of makeup and eyelashes every day. .. And now that she's over 50, wearing flats would probably be better for her back as well.

R122, the reason Sharon went mute after Dennis’ death was because Leticia Dean was so distraught at her marriage ending that she couldn’t get out any dialogue at all and they had to re-write her as nearly catatonic. I doubt she’ll be as mute this time.

Can someone remind me how Phil and Keanu knew about the booze cruise?

I seem to recall Keanu noticing something was going on and he asked someone (Karen?) about it.

R132 Keanu went to the booze cruise, because that's where Denny told him he was going when they'd had their encounter in the square. Once Sharon dumped Keanu, because of Denny, I assume Keanu went to the boat to try to change Dennis' mind about not wanting to go away ... as a way to get Sharon to change hers.

Phil went to the booze cruise, because after Billy knocked Phil out in Karen's flat, Billy and Karen were talking about secrets and their relationship, and Billy told Karen that he'd also just encountered not-dead Keanu, so that was another secret. Billy added that during this encounter, Keanu had mentioned that he was on his way to the boat. Right after that, Billy and Karen looked over and discovered that Phil had regained consciousness and left. The implication was that Phil had overheard what they'd said and took off to hunt down Keanu on the boat.

R132 fascinating, can you tell any more? I remember reading this before and wonder what happened. Her appearance also suffered at this time, did they have yo change a lot of the script?

How come Keanu just left without checking if Halfway was alive or dead?

He left Halfway very early. It looked as if he had no plans to return (Callum was yelling for him not to leave him there) and, at that point Callum started trying to save himself. This happened before Keanu's run-in with Denny.

R135, a friend of mine who worked on the show at the time told me that everything had to be re-written, even a confrontation between Sharon and Phil over Dennis’ death. Poor Tish was a basket case and had to be spoonfed the few lines of dialogue they did give her.

R138 thank you for replying. Do you know what the original idea was meant to be? Was the build up to Dennis' stabbing changed to? Sharon was played as quite passive in those last few weeks before she fled to Florida in early 2006.

She was to find out Phil's role leading up to Dennis' stabbing, she was to tell him she never wanted to see him again and then she'd go off to Florida.

I don't think the build-up to Dennis' stabbing was altered.

R136 When Keanu learned that Shirley couldn't find Callum where Keanu said he'd be, Keanu's assumption was that Callum had freed himself and gotten out on his own. I think that's the belief Keanu's working under, so in his mind there's no need to go back. .. Plus, Keanu probably wants to get out of Dodge ASAP, or face being arrested for Callum's kidnapping, as well as being party to the assault of the boat captain and all events which followed once the unmanned vessel crashed into the barge.

How many cringeworthy Ian Beale weeping, wailing, face-scrunching scenes do we have to look forward to?

R143, Woodyatt’s ugly crying face was unbearable to watch when Lucy died. And that scene of Ian falling into Phil’s arms was a huge pile of bullshit.

Posting the always funny "No offense, Syed" video because I think it was the first time we heard about Phil and barmaid Tracy having hooked up. The way guys gossip, I'm surprised Mo didn't already know about that .. lol!

looks like Ben is going to have a deaf storyline

Sooo funny how the posting on the EastEnders dropped off after Halfway and Ben got together.

I'm not really into "Ballum" - but in terms of DL traffic - it's pretty clear that all of the soap threads have dropped off considerably, since the you-know-what policy was instituted here last Fall; so there's that factor as well.

What's next for Sharon?

Actually, OP, you've been #GayBalled

Gin & Regret, r149.

Let's hope she's not breastfeeding.

R150 R151

Where will Peter work? The fruit & veg stall is taken.

Maybe Kathy can hire him to be a topless waiter or go-go dancer at The Prince Albert.

r153 is that nu-peter? Woof!

Yep, R154 ... he's a furry blond.

Phil and Ian are two of the most unattractive men to ever be on a soap. I just don’t see how Phil was able to knock up so many moderately attractive women.

Phil is the "Capo de Tutti Capi" of Walford . . . . . . .

How could any woman resist the power ?

R158

R159

Sharon seemed to take the news that Phil caused the boat to crash very calmly. I was kinda right, she's almost mute again in her grief.

Phil should get beaten within an inch of his life, recover, and end up in a wheelchair. When he comes out of his coma, he won't remember who attacked him. The suspect list will be a mile long. And the police won't even care who did it.

😞 And since no one is willing to care for him he ends up in a nursing home.

I knew it! Even without hearing, Ben would be the one to hear Callum's cries for help. Now it's time for Ben to be all 'I'm no good for Callum."

If I were a writer, I'd throw a wrench into the whole thing. Add a new character that's uncomplicated and put him together with Halfway. Maybe write them off the show to put them out of Ben's orbit.

They should give Halfway a hot cop buddy who convinces him to join the UK National LGBT Police Network and they also begin working out at the gym together.

I'm with Ian ... Sharon's not really going to call the baby "Kaden," is she?

Cadan, Caedan, Caeden, Caedon, Caedyn, Caiden, Caidon, Caydan, Cayden, Kadan, Kaden, Kadeen, Kadein, Kaedan, Kaeden, Kaedin, Kaedon, Kaedyn, Kaiden, Kaidin, Kaydan, Kayden Kaidyn

They're flooding the schools. We're now starting to see it spelled with 'Q' as well.

Sharon is too classy to have a kid called Kaden.

Even worse, on the closed-captions they're spelling it "Kayden."

New Peter is a stud. .. And yes, he most certainly would be "eaten alive" at The Prince Albert. .. With him being so tall, he could probably serve three.

They must have used an entire bottle of baby oil on Keegan's chest to make him appear "wet." It didn't look like water at all .. lol! .. I'm surprised Tiff didn't ask him if he'd been in the bathroom busting a nut.

I see Bowden decided to take a page out of Harry Reid's penchant for wildly-exaggerated overacting and 'emoting' in that final scene today. By the time he put his head in the dish drainer and punched the colander, I was laughing.

And since Sharon hasn't gotten Denny's last message to her from when he was on the boat, that means she hasn't checked her phone in a week? Right.

Maybe Ian hid her charger?

“Kayden”? Sharon’s not a chav.

I see wiki is already referring to the baby as "Kayden Watts." .. Do TPTB think that's "clever" because the name's second syllable is "DEN" ??

No doubt they do

One of the writers, Daran Little, has deactivated his Twitter account because he was being set upon by Ballum harpies. Too bad, although I still remember his early days on Twitter where he was bragging about his sexcapades with rent boys and strippers.

Has Sharon laid into Phil yet for killing her "Denny"?

[quote] One of the writers, Daran Little, has deactivated his Twitter account because he was being set upon by Ballum harpies.

So the insane Robron crowd have completely taken over? ugh.

Now, I pray more than ever that Callum has another guy on deck. Hate this Ben being the only guy he's ever been with nonsense.

Callum can do better than fat little Ben

Why have they fucked up what could have been a great dramatic opportunity for Sharon? No way would she not have confronted Phil already.

With Phil having kicked Sharon to the curb vowing she'll get nothing, I wonder if Sharon will serve Phil with a wrongful death lawsuit for causing the boat crash that killed her son.

So Peter works as a personal trainer now and just got two new clients. Intriguing.

Can we assume that he advertises his services by being an instagram ho as well?

Lexi seems like she should be old (and smart) enough to know not to stand behind cars that are running and about to move.

Gray .. so just how incompetent is he? .. No law courses here, and I think I could have done a better job at Whit's bail hearing than he did.

Speaking of Whit, after this one's over, can this please be her last poor pitiful story for a long long time. I found the final scene of her throwing food, screaming and pounding on the door rather eye-rolling. And has anyone called Ryan to tell him that his sister is on trial for murder?

At least Debbie Downer Bex is gone.

If this COVID-19 measure regarding pubs happens in real life, I wonder if EE will depict it and close the Queen Vic.

The bail hearing was ridiculous. She was not a flight risk. Soap opera drama.

I think the show itself will have to shut down in the near future. Maybe they should be filming a cliffhanger to air in late May.

Nu Peter is hot but I can’t decide if he can act or not

I think NuPeter is hot, and I think he can act. I'm just not all that thrilled with any of the potential romantic choices for him currently on the canvas.

I also chuckle when he's in Ian's house, and he has to bend his head down when going through doorways to prevent bumping it.

Am I bad for wanting to be beaten by Grey?

Good scene with Sharon and Denise.

As expected, due to the pandemic, BBC is shutting down its serial dramas (EastEnders, Holby City, Casualty, Doctors, River City and Pobol y Cwm).

Are they also going to shut down Hollyoaks? So far I haven't heard that ITV will shut down Corrie and Emmerdale.

EE also just announced they will only be broadcasting TWO episodes per week. Episodes will now air on Mondays, 8pm and Tuesdays, 7.30pm.

(Corrie and Emmerdale are also reducing the number episodes they broadcast per week.)

I wonder if that cunt Jessie Wallace had returned to work before the shutdown. I don’t think Lacey Turner had.

[quote] throw a wrench into the whole thing. Add a new character that's uncomplicated and put him together with Halfway. Maybe write them off the show to put them out of Ben's orbit.

Yes! Course-correct the whole shebang, back to what it should be by now and what is was meant to be from the start.

R188 Hollyoaks is going to continue with some production, but will begin broadcasting only 3 episodes per week (Mon. Tues. Wed) to extend the time for current episodes already filmed to air. They've also said that if they eventually shut down and run out of episodes, they'll fill the slot with past "favorite" episodes material .

With all these plague victims about to pile up, Callum & Jay’s work at the funeral parlour should be cut out for them. I’m assuming that by May they’ll have come to fore once again, assuming EastEnders is still filming and airing at all.

It’s always tough watching storylines about funerals & burials there, though, because the name over the door is a constant reminder that Billy went back to the dark side, poor sweet tragic Paul is still needlessly dead and lovely Pam is gone.

Stuart & Rainie work with Jay at the funeral parlor now. They'll probably have to coordinate more cremations (as they're doing in Italy). .. Hasn't Callum left the funeral biz to train as a copper? If/when he gets his badge, they'll probably give him a face mask (if they still have any). His first arrest will be Mo, who's running some COVID-19 test kit scam.

From a former EE writer:

I have always found it fascinating when a soap opera becomes completely divorced from reality, as it must be in our current situation. Society is going to change completely. How can a show like EastEnders reflect that if it hasn’t appeared in the storyline?

What R195 said.

I had a dream last night that Steve McFadden (Phil) died from Coronavirus. Weird.

At least the actors are being paid something during this difficult time.

Could OP or someone who’s actually a fan of this pairing quickly summarise or bullet-point this relationship’s flashpoint? Nothing detailed, just a little overview of the important moments. Cba to watch the five-hour YouTube playlist and I daren’t ask the rabid fangirls on Twitter & Tumblr.

Basically I’m looking to jump back into the show for a short while to restore some banal normalcy to existence, though I punched out of EE promising never to return about three years ago (around Summer/Autumn 2017) when my life got busy and I got angry because Johnny left the Square so anticlimactically. I’ll probably watch five new episodes and punch out again because I am taking better care of myself and my patience is more limited these days, but I will reserve judgment and see if this couple can convince me now ils sont établi. Full disclosure I HATED what little I saw of the start of Ballum, the intro/hook-up/secrecy stuff, as it felt like a massive backward step from Ben’s relationship with Paul and even Johnny.

Don’t bother, R198. Ballum is UNBEARABLE now.

R199 Full disclosure I HATED what little I saw of the start of Ballum, the intro/hook-up/secrecy stuff ....

Sorry, I'm no big fan myself, so can't help with your request; they're certainly not why I'm still watching.

On another note, please tell me they're not going to waste Peter on Dotty.

Callum has beautiful thighs.

R198 Ballum stopped becoming interesting once they went public. They’re a pretty boring couple and Ben is at his most irritating.

Good god, the guy who plays Gray can’t act at all. That scene in the Vic with Leo’s mother was really bad.

I'm bored with anything involving Whitney's case. Can this please be the LAST storyline revolving around her childhood abuse? They need to move beyond Poor Pitiful Whit.

Also, I'm not enjoying Perpetually Angry Keegan. .. And what is this now? The fourth or fifth time he's been racially-profiled and falsely arrested?

The Panesars aren't grabbing me. They're not horrible, but I also don't look forward to their scenes. And yes, let's have Iqra dump Ash. That works for me.

And please, let's not turn this into the Dotty Cotton show like they did with the overexposed Haley Slater.

btw - Phil dissing "away with the fairies Paul" to Callum actually makes me miss having a kind spirit like Paul on the scene.

I do think the actress playing Dotty is more compelling than the one who played Hayley. And way more...uhhh...telegenic.

The girl who plays Ash is attractive and appealing but a pretty weak actress. I’m nit buying this “dark side” to her character. It’s probably linked to her gangster daddy, who will no doubt be showing up at some point.

Sharon is totally playing the long game with Phil.

Kheerat is handsome. I appreciate more handsome brown men on Eastenders. Kush shouldn't be the only one. Vinny is ok too. The fat one, not so much.

Kheerat is gonna fuck Chantal at some point

I would prefer a Kheerat/Kush hookup. Yummers!

I would prefer a Peter/Kush hookup. PUSH!

ZZZzzz

Will Walford portray "the new normal" when production starts up again? I've read Corrie plans to have the virus exist in Weatherfield.

Kathy's Cafe and Walford East might have to be take-out and delivery only. The Prince Albert might have to close down as an after dark club and just do the daytime vegan cafe, take-out only.

It's a good thing Ruby is wealthy, otherwise her nightclub could go under.

And it's really not a great time to be thinking about getting back into the pub business, Phil. The real news has said pubs might be the last places to open. So many of them are failing anyway.

The Arches can pick up cars, repair them, and deliver them sanitized.

Nurse Sonia and cops Callum and Jack will have to be fitted with personal protective gear.

Perhaps The Slaters and The Panesars can merge their janitorial and extermination businesses and become Sanitizing Central.

Teacher Isaac might have to begin work a staggered shift.

The Laundromat can do fluff and fold service only. Ring the doorbell for drop-off and pick-up.

Peter's personal training business might actually boom, if people don't want to go to a regular gym. Of course, he'll have to practice appropriate social distancing. It's okay to be shirtless, though, right?

Not sure what to do about the street market. Will they be allowed? I could see them having one entrance and one exit with gatekeepers only allowing so many shoppers in at a time.

Oh, and maybe this could be an opportunity to kill a character or two off.

They have to address the pandemic. If they don’t then Walford exists in an alternate universe and the show has always banged on about how much it “reflects reality.”

R212 That's how I feel, especially with this soap.

Anybody who thinks this show will resume production before July at the very earliest is living in a dreamworld.

The soaps have apparently been given the green light to proceed with production but I think it will take at least a month for them to prepare. And I’m guessing there will be more than a few actors who will feel skittish about returning when the amount of new cases and deaths are nowhere near low enough yet.

Since Jordi and Greg both had the COVID, I suggest Y&R use these two and have them begin a clandestine relationship while working together on a police matter. .. They can provide the intimacy and sex factor for the soap, with Rey pounding Kevin with great vigor.

I don't know what they cut from Tuesday's episode to fit the time requirement, but they should have clipped everything related to the Rainbow Gardens story. That was one of Bell's absolute worst.

^^^ Okay, WTH is going on with DL ??

Please ignore posts R216, R217. .. I wasn't even on this thread, and I post, and suddenly end up here?

Sorry .. but I didn't do that .. lol!

Hey, at least they were soap related!

They should've made "Frankie" a hot blond twink who agrees to try to help Ben, but in the process sets out to comfort Callum in more ways than one.

BBC says EastEnders production will re-start before the end of June.

Actors will be doing their own hair and make-up. .. That could be interesting .. lol!

Good luck with that.

COVID will be referenced in storylines, And they'll be running out of episodes pretty soon now, so there will be a gap before any new stuff airs.

Depending on how soon the shows run out, they could make Ben's fever a COVID infection.

I'm getting tired of Ben. He never listens to anyone.

R224 What was with Ben telling Phil that he could get the police raid info from Callum via pillow talk, with Callum not even knowing what he was doing, but then he basically just asks Callum outright to spill or obtain the info for him? Such a stupid scene. He had to know how Callum would react.

Other observations .. I could give a sh#t if Rainie and Stuart have the wedding of their dreams. Blech. .. So Isaac's another alcoholic? No thank you. .. ANOTHER health problem for Jean is just plain intolerable. .. And FREE KUSH. I hate seeing him in this mess.

Also, meant to add, it's hard to empathize with Keegan and feel for the racial discrimination he's dealing with when he proves himself to be SO DAMN DUMB.

I’ve always loathed Keegan and the actor playing him. And the show did an awful job “rehabilitating” him.

I’ve always loathed Keegan and the actor playing him. And the show did an awful job “rehabilitating” him.

Keegan's insufferable. Jack shows him the video of the restored video footage and his sour, ungrateful reply is: "You break the rules and show me this footage and you get off scott-free." WTF?

When Ben was with Paul, he was more than willing to build a life with his lover apart from having anything to do with the Mitchell family "business." .. The duo was going to take over Coker & Sons. .. But now he's back to the same old proving himself to Phil garbage again.

Jean's nuts. We get it.

Sharon can't get back soon enough, because honestly, I think that's the only story I'm interested in.

Scrap all storylines in post COVID reboot?

I'd like to hear more, as I'm not really averse to that idea.

It's a great fucking idea. They can kill Stacey off off-screen. Pair Martin and Kush. Bring back Angie and have her run the Vic with Sharon.

Uhhh, R231, Angie died from cirrhosis of the liver. I would like to see Sharon in a dream sequence Face Timing with Angie as if she was still alive.

If it's a real reboot she can be alive! Also bring back that guy from Spandau Ballet.

It won’t be that kind of reboot, though, R233.

Oh. Well that sucks. I've stopped watching EastEnders since isolation started because it has lost momentum.

R235 I'm still watching, but I get your feeling about lack of momentum. .. And I don't think you're alone. I looked at the consolidated ratings for the last reported period, and they were at 4.8 and 4.6 million. I remember articles bemoaning 4.5 million when Yorke took over from O'Connor three years ago.

If 42-year old Mick doesn't run the pub, what's he qualified to do to make a living? Gay daddy porn?

He and Linda are coming off even dumber than usual making this move so quickly without any kind of plan. It doesn't even sound like Linda's looked at the flat that Mick said he's going to put a deposit on.

[quote]If 42-year old Mick doesn't run the pub, what's he qualified to do to make a living? Gay daddy porn?

We can only hope and pray!

[quote]If 42-year old Mick doesn't run the pub, what's he qualified to do to make a living? Gay daddy porn?

We can only hope and pray!

It looks like they won’t do a reboot but they will do a time jump between June 16th (last episode) and early September (first episode back).

Gay daddy porn would certainly be a new and different story for EE to tackle.

Mick could also have a room at the new flat where he produces his own "Only Fans" show.

He tells Linda, " Don't come in when the red light outside the door is on. That's when I'm meditating and doing my breathing exercises to control my panic attacks."

I wonder if they'll boringly move him to the market where he can takeover Martin's job of selling fruit and veg? Although, I suppose avocados could become his specialty.

I hope Stacey is not brought back.

She’ll definitely be back at some point, R242. She’s very popular with both the fans and producers/writers/actors/crew.

Besides Stacey, they can just write Kat off as well. I don't miss either of them.

Free Martin. Free Kush.

Kat and Kush as a couple was an awful idea. Zero chemistry. Kush would never be interested in a trash like Kat.

Kill Karen

Karen is the female version of Keith Miller. Remember him? He was repulsive looking, too.

I actually kind of like Karen and Billy. I'd ratter they kill Mitch.

Mitch is so fucking boring. The actor was fine years ago when he was a detective popping in and out but he totally lacks the magnetism to play a regular character.

I think Chantelle and Kheerat should become a couple. Start the re-boot with Gray stewing about being divorced and wanting revenge.

Please, no. The actors who play Chantelle and Gray are terrible and they suck the oxygen out of every scene they’re in.

Will EastEnders air "best of" episodes until filming resumes? Apparently, new episodes run out next Tuesday.

Yes, R252. Also behind the scenes stuff.

I want Gray to beat me.

Now that Ruby's dumped him, Max is totally pointless.

Oh crap, I suppose they'll keep him around for when Stacey does return.

I hope Stacey returns without that fucking daughter who looks like an old hag.

Since Linda would prefer to not sell The Vic to Filth now, because of the way he's treating Sharon, it would be hilarious if the two women did an end run around him and got love struck Ian to loan Sharon the money to buy the pub. If Ian doesn't have that much cash, he could get a loan and use Max's half of Walford East that he's currently holding in his name as collateral. That would piss so many people off.

I'd love to hear Sharon Watts tell the old fart, "Get outta my pub!"

I think Sharon and Ian will run it together, perhaps as a married couple. And on Christmas Day she’ll hand him divorce papers when she finds out his part in Denny’s death.

And that’s a wrap on Season 1. They did a good job.

I love how the end credits now read SHARON WATTS.

I wonder if some characters will be missing when the second season starts in August or September.

God, I hope Karen sent Mitch packing.

Filming with social distancing.

All I care about right now is that fine ass Zach Morris as Keegan. That young man is GORGEOUS!

R264, yes, he’s a good looking kid but a crap actor. And Keegan is a fucking awful character.

r265, I don’t think Zach is a bad actor but the character is a nasty piece of shit. Hell, after all these years, so is Phil and Max.

I was hoping that Monday's "Secrets from the Square" episode featuring Kush & Martin was going to preview a clandestine sex romp with them during the lockdown episdoes.

But they're predictably going to have Martin quarantined with horny Ruby, and even worse, waste Kush locked up in The Slater Cat House with all those old women and kids.

I just started watching on BritBox. I’ve been watching the PBS broadcast since the mid 80s. We’re 11 years behind BritBox. Poor Kush (what a cutie). I see Jean Slater is still a hand full.

Bump! That last scene with Queen Sharon and my boy Ian taking over the Queen Vic before that nasty ass Phil could was fucking awesome; one of the best Eastenders cliffhangers ever. I love the smile on Ian’s face. I’m always Team Ian when it comes to his rivalry with Phil.

After watching Part 2 of the classic episode that they ran last week of Syed and Amira's wedding, I had to hunt down Part 1 of the episode. They really should have ran both parts.

Part 1 has some of the best lines in the Christian vs. Zainab showdown over Syed.

Zainab pretending that she's thinking like Christian: "Oh I know, I'll seduce that pretty Pakistani boy! Oh, that'll be fun!"

Christian's retort to Zainab telling him that what he does makes her feel "sick": "Well, it didn't make him feel sick. .. That's right Zainab, me and your perfect son, we have done it all .. and he LOVED it!"

Zainab was such a miserable controlling bitch. Suki isn’t that much better. Why does EastEnders portray East Indian matriarchs so badly? What’s up with that?

I hope one of the “reboot” changes is that the Dottie Threatens Ian shit is dropped and better yet, she returns to university and leaves the Arches. Also Peter Beale needs to be a lot less wet.

Zainab had her moments, though. Takes a bitch to slap another bitch down.

Jessie Wallace really is an utter trainwreck.

I can’t believe the article described her as joining the show as “Alfie Moon’s girlfriend.”

She better not infect Davood.

I don't miss the character at all. They should just pack up the kids and send Kat away.

All the more reason to FREE KUSH!

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Did she at least go to a dermatologist and a dentist?

Finally got around to watching Scott Maslen (Jack) and Jake Wood (Max) on Secrets from the Square. Damn, Maslen is adorable. He does dance moves at the beginning of it and just the way he moves around the sets got my gaydar up big time (not to mention my dick). Maybe he’s gay and doesn’t know it yet?

From his modeling days.

I think this one may be 'enhanced.'

"The Secrets from the Square" series will continue even after the show comes back (September 7).

I've been enjoying it far more than I thought I would.

Since Dooley says something about 2022, I might guess that it won't be every week, though.

Kate Oates says a “huge character” will return at Christmas.

I’m thinking it’s probably Janine.

Maybe Christmas is when Ian returns, and he's put the 40 pounds back on.

So they're actually going to have Gray kill Chantelle, and they want viewers to know this in advance.

No, R283, Christmas is when Ian departs. If he plays Santa this year he won’t need padding for his belly.

Disappointing ratings for the return last night, 10m less than Coronation Street.

Quarantine has done wonders for Vinny. Better haircut and scruff, instead of a full beard.

Sharon threatening Dotty with a broken bottle was beyond ludicrous.

I have a big crush on the guy who plays Gray. After he kills Chantelle, he has to be off the canvas soon--no redemption. Sigh.

R289 No redemption. But I'm thinking they might extend Gray's run by scripting something with starstruck-lovesick, Whitney, who would, of course, get sucked into becoming Gray's next target. She knows how to pick 'em.

He might even knock her up. Better than knocking her down, I guess.

Vinny has gone from a 2 to a solid 7.

Can anyone tell thus far which storylines/subplots have been altered since lockdown, if any? I am guessing it is taking place in "real time"? Please tell me that Dottie has Covid.

Tina had Covid according to the actress who plays her.

When did Sharon re-name Kayden, "Albie"?

Poor kid. Albert-Albie is just as bad.

She didn’t name him after the playright Edward Albee?

Oops, of COURSE I meant the PLAYWRIGHT.

Now that Ben got arrested, how can Ballum survive? Will Callum really try to entrap Phil?

Chantelle gets murdered tonight. Yippee! She had a hot ass but couldn’t live forever.

I wonder where Gray will hide the body. So sad.

Poor Chantelle. She was beautiful. And now her shrew mother will have 2 more children to raise in her squalid flat.

Now that Chantelle is dead, what are they going to do with Kheerat's manmeat?

Men in Sweatpants?

My new fave man is Martin when he’s all sweaty and angry

I knew there was a reason I always hand-wash kitchen knives instead of putting them in the dishwasher.

Well, we knew Gray was a sick fuck, but no we know we had no idea.

How will Gray be found out? Former girlfriend coming forward?

They could have killed Dotty Cotton off. Ugly little chav.

Death by dishwasher? Dig it.

Kheerat and Martin, please. They can spit roast Kush.

R305 If Gray tries to implicate Kheerat somehow, hardass Suki will probably deal with him.

Who is coming back at Christmas? Grant? Janine?

Lacey Turner will be gone for a year. Can Stacey take Kat with her?

Already pregnant again!

Does she get maternity leave for 2 kids in a row? Sweet deal!

She also apparently lives within walking distance of where the show films and has been all her life.

Either Suki or that toy he was obsessed with will do him in.

Y’all leave Karen the fuck alone. I think Chantelle’s father and super hottie Kheerat will join forces and bring Gray down. Suki’s a BITCH! Nobody’s got a good EastEnders slap across the face in awhile. Suki needs a pop in the mouth. Can’t stand her!

Suki’s hair looks so greasy. Uggh.

I think Frankie is Mick’s daughter. And she’s the product of rape.

Why would they make Mick a rapist?

Viewers forgive murderers over rapists.

R319, I think maybe it was a gang rape. When Mick was young and drunk.

That would be as gross as what just happened to Ruby.

Plus, Mick wanted to kill Dean for raping Linda.

KUSH !!

Nooooooooooooo

R322, I now think Frankie’s mother (Simone Lahbib) will CLAIM Mick raped her. That alone could send Linda into Max’s arms.

Linda + Max =🤮

Also Mick needs new friends. Mitch is a total buzz kill.

The "bald ginger sack" - as Martin appropriately labelled Max - is on his way out as well.

At one time, Mick had a appeared to have a budding bromance with Jack, but I guess that serves to point out out how much better looking Jack is .. lol!

And instead of Kush, Mitch should be the one exiting. Once Chantelle's murder is solved, get rid. .. Honey's exiting as well, so let Billy shack up with Karen.

First they came for Max. And I said nothing, because I am not Max.

Then they came for Jags. And I said nothing because, well it's Jags.

Then they came for Kush and I said "Why, sweet Jesus?"

R325 With Simone Lahbib being a good 12 years older than Danny Dyer, some are speculating that it could have been Frankie's mum who raped an underage Mick ... which would also explain why Mick doesn't know about his daughter, because a pregnancy reveal back when the sex occurred would have proven that she abused a child.

I think it will turn out she raped him but he’ll accuse him if raping her and that will not sit well with Linda.

I think Ian will be murdered over Christmas.

Which may not be a good thigg BF for the actor who is recently divorced.

Ian murdered at Christmas!!!! It would have to be a musical episode.

Ian is the primary original character of this show. So is Kathy and Sharon but Kathy had left the show and her character was “killed” off screen. Sharon comes and goes. Ian has never left. I highly doubt they would do that to Ian. If they did, it would be him staging his own death and coming back at some point but out and out death. Naaaw!

I agree. If Ian dies, it will be temporary.

Unfortunately.

No, Ian won’t die, he’ll just be “attacked.”

Have we seen Lady Di since The Carters vacated The Queen Vic?

No, she’s just been mentioned.