Have you ever had a sugar daddy?

Sweet.

Paging Aaron Schock

It depends on the daddy. Some are very kind and others are very dominant. Some will ruin your career keep you being dependent on them.

I had a couple of guys who wanted to be my sugar daddy, back in the day. I didn't go for it, because I didn't want to be a kept boy. I wanted to live on my own terms.

One of them could have been the love of my life, but I was too stupid to realize that. I was more interested in asserting my independence. He was worth $100 million in 1989 and died a few years later on a booze and cocaine binge. I may have dodged a bullet there, being rather inclined to addiction myself.

I don't have a sugar daddy. I've never had a sugar daddy. If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I could probably go out and get one because I am what? Sickening! You could never have a sugar daddy because you are not that kind of girl. Baby everything I've had, I've worked for and I've gotten myself. I built myself from the ground up, you fucking BITCH!

Tried it when I was 20. Not intentionally - just happened. But the power dynamic is not for me. Or maybe it was the sense of self-esteem. But taught me that I always want to make my own money and not be dependent on anyone. To a fault, I still am terrified of being dependent on someone else. And I also refuse for someone else to be dependent on me. Sugar daddy situation just doesn’t work for me. I’m also a little cheap - no surprise.

You mean that rectangular piece of hard caramel on a stick?

Thank you, no.

Yes - boring (he was always working) and bad sex. Family money fucked him up.

I have had several sugar daddies. I developed feelings for all of them and even lived with them when we were together. Some people are haters, but you can have a genuine relationship with them. Some will judge you but they do not understand.

IF you wanna talk more we can kik.

About twelve years ago, I was with a guy (a minor celebrity) who was 18 years older than I; however, I was the one with the big money and the lucrative career. He was a user who wanted his queeny old friends to think it was the other way around.

Plenty of offers, and never took them up on it.

I’ve had well off to independently wealthy boyfriends, which is different.

A sugar daddy controls your time and your sexual experiences, in exchange for money. A boyfriend, rich or poor, just wants to spend time with you, and you with them, without any expectations of sex or money, or sex for money.

I wouldn’t be able to have anyone tell me what to do, or to do it, or when, for money, by exchanging sex. If I want to do that, minus the sex, it’s called a regular, 9-5 job, or a project based gig. I already do that, and prefer it to being “owned” by someone.

Fuck sugar daddies. I’m good- thanks!

I guess that's what he was, in a sense. I was in my twenties, and he was a lot older. We were at a party shortly after we met, and someone asked him if I was his son. He looked older than he actually was, and his hair had turned prematurely grey. I realized he liked to show me off, and that was okay with me. We were together five years, and then he died of cancer which had gone un-diagnosed for too long. He drew up a will in the hospital, left me everything he had - money, investments, his house. I'm still living in it.

OG- Don't listen to R9 aka Collinboy he is nothing but a fake muscle slut with a stretched ass.

Ive often wondered if that was in fact what my 1st husband was . He was the main bread winner by far in our relationship and I was always a shop bottom type . I worked steadily , just never earned very much . Everything we had (house,cars,nice lifestyle ) was because of him. He was only 3 years older than me though,does that count as a Daddy ? He spoiled me outrageously ,loved me deeply and there was nothing I wanted he didnt move heaven and earth to try to give me. Ive had quite a few lovers in my life ,but he was really the only one that was like that with me,at least to that extent . God,now Im depressed !

It wasn't exactly sugar daddy, but he was a super-rich bf. He was a multi-millionaire doctor, author, and NYC real estate investor 35 years ago when $100 million was a lot more money than it has been recently. (I'm not sure about *now* considering the stock market today.)

He loved me and didn't care about my income, but the reason it didn't last (and I've told this here before) is that I was too fucked up by a working-class, macho insecurity about being self-supporting and what it means to be a man.

He wanted me to live with him, but I couldn't get past the fact his monthly maintenance fee was far greater than my whole income, and I couldn't pay my share. He wanted to take me to cool places with his rich and famous friends, but I didn't have the clothes and wouldn't let him buy me any, which he wanted to do. Lots more examples of my insecurity fucking it all up, but I won't list them all here.

At the time, I thought if he made $50K a year he would have been the man of my dreams, but because he had more money than I could wrap my mind around, I couldn't get oriented into an attitude that would have let the relationship flourish.

R15, that’s a boyfriend. What’s the big deal? If he genuinely loved you and you genuinely loved him, I see no problem.

Using someone for sex or for money, or allowing one’s self to be used for sex or money is one thing, but love? Love is an entirely different ball game.

I don’t mind if he has equally as much, less or more than I do, but it has to be love, or I’m not game.

Yes, R16, I can see that now, but at age 30, I couldn't get there. He was only a year older than me, but I just couldn't accept the idea that his money paid for everything and I was like a wife (in my mind).

^ Tragic

What if older men gave your money, jewelry, stuff, etc, just to impress you? I only slept with good-looking ones though. I understand that ugly people would never fully grasp this.

r17, you missed out on some fun, but you retained self-respect. Good for you.

I know some guys who have made the opposite choice from the one you made, and came to regret it.

That doesn't mean that all men who are kept men are bad, by any means--if it doesn't bother you to be someone's kept man, you might as well go for it. But if your inner voice is telling you its wrong, you should heed that voice.

Yes, but the first time I was so young and naive that I didn't realize that my "older boyfriend" was actually a sugar daddy. He was a 39 year old wealthy (claimed his wealth came from real estate but when I look back on it I suspect that he was involved in something darker/shady) Croatian immigrant and we somehow connected when I was 17 (I think it was online) but we didn't start "dating" until I was 18 (fresh out of high school). This was around 2002, so at that time I didn't have access to all this information about sugar daddies that younger gays have access to now, so I didn't even really know what a sugar daddy was, I thought he just liked me as an individual I didn't understand at the time that it was primarily because I was young. I thought he just bought me things and paid for everything because he was just a nice guy. As soon as we "broke up" he had another 18 year old within about 2 weeks. I had one more similar situation with a 35 year old engineer who had been kicked out of the military for being gay and again I was naive and just thought he was a good boyfriend. After that I knew the score and just went with it until I met my first legit boyfriend. I think the sugar daddy thing is more common in the gay community than people realize, a lot of the time it's inadvertent. A lot of guys don't just come out and blatantly ask to be your sugar daddy, they just start doing sugar daddy things and if you're young and naive you may not even realize that you are in a sugar daddy situation.

Only lower class whores have sugar daddies.

I had a much older BF once, but he was tight and we only ever ate in coffee shops or got stuff from the Korean salad bar.

Yes. He spoiled me with money, gifts and vacations. However, the sex was awful. He was also fat, old and ugly. I ended things once I started escorting and no longer needed him. #hoegoals

I had a rich older(36 year old) boyfriend who wanted to get me an apartment. I thought you've got to be kidding. What happens when I get older and you lose all interest? I got older(mid 20s) and he lost all interest. I by then had my own apartment. But I'm sure the one he would have gotten me would have been so much nicer though I would have ended up out on the street.

No, never. I know women who are, or were kept, and who even married the men who kept them, and it was not a good thing at all...

R14, you were indeed lucky, did you end it or did he? I am guessing it's your fault.

There was a sugar daddy couple in my building. A good 20+ years difference in age. The older guy was actually the nicer one, the twink was pretentious as all fuck. Anyway, they stayed together for a really long time, until the daddy just suddenly died last year of the flu right before Covid. The twink, who is now old, 50 something doesn't know what to do with himself. He cant get another sugar daddy at that age, he hasn't worked in 20 years. He sits in the lobby everyday looking for sympathy talking people's ear off. He's kind of fucked, after all that time I think all he gets is the condo and no way to pay for it's upkeep or HOA fees. He will probably lose it. Kind of sad. Would feel sorry for him but he's still a pretentious fuck thinks he's still 20.

I have had the same sugar daddy for 21 years now. Met when I was 24 and he was 49. We’ve been very well suited for one another and the sex is still great. I’ve never had to pay for rent, utilities, groceries, vacations, dining out, or cars. The only expense I have is clothing myself and maintaining a job for insurance. I am expected to save some money that I earn for retirement. Covid did force the issue of updating his will and discussion of me inheriting everything should he die. Let’s just say I’ll never have to worry about money again. While this kind of arrangement is rare due to the weird power dynamics that usually flare up in these relationships, I always recommend that both the daddy and the boy each have clearly stated boundaries or expectations. Otherwise the boy risks winding up on street with memories and no money to show for his time - and youth is the one thing the kept guy can’t get back to easily get another daddy.

A gay male friend of mine had one, he made out pretty well in the divorce.

A hetero woman I am friends with married her sugar daddy who kept her for years in her own apartment after they had "broken up" and he was abusive to her, and he did not want to get married but she got pregnant and then they married. Yes her family and I have told her it's never good to be in a "relationship" like this but she's an adult...

I guy I liked wanted to be my sugar daddy when I was in my mid-20’s (he was 40).

When he found out my potential income when I finished grad school was going to be higher than his, he dropped me.

I guess he wanted to be the breadwinner