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I adore our trans brothers and sisters and hate the anti-trans trolls here!

Just had to say something positive about the trans community. Carry on.

by Anonymousreply 74October 23, 2019 12:00 AM

I agree with OP.

by Anonymousreply 1October 19, 2019 1:19 AM

People are people

by Anonymousreply 2October 19, 2019 1:19 AM

I don't have a problem with the trans community and I don't get the intense hatred for them from some posters on here.

by Anonymousreply 3October 19, 2019 1:23 AM

Those trolls really just need to die

by Anonymousreply 4October 19, 2019 1:23 AM

Op talking to itself

by Anonymousreply 5October 19, 2019 1:26 AM

I have a member of my family that is in the process of transitioning. At very, very young age she wanted to be a man, like when asked what she wanted for Christmas she would reply she wanted to have a little dick. I love her so much as both of us were the gays in the family (im a cisgender gay man). For me she was always a lesbian woman until the day - a couple of years ago - she decided to be or become a straight man, being diagnosed with gender dysphoria. He changed is name and is like in the process but unfortunately he his a complete mess now, mentally, emotionally, socially and in all aspects of life including his ability to be independent and sustain a job. It has been very, very hard and sad to see whats happening. Please understand I do support the cause and im not in anyway anti-trans. But it so happen that the personal experience I have with this family member its bad. Like really really bad and im deeply sad for him and unable to help anymore except to listen.

by Anonymousreply 6October 19, 2019 1:27 AM

Nope. Check the number of posters in the the thread!

by Anonymousreply 7October 19, 2019 1:27 AM

OP talking to theyself.

by Anonymousreply 8October 19, 2019 1:27 AM

This will end in tears.

by Anonymousreply 9October 19, 2019 1:28 AM

Thanks for starting this thread, OP. PPSM and the Reddit Gender Critical lesbians are a tiresome and hateful crew.

by Anonymousreply 10October 19, 2019 1:29 AM

Please state your pronouns so that we may continue our discourse in a mutually respectful manner!

by Anonymousreply 11October 19, 2019 1:30 AM

R6. I understand that and it’s fine to hate the people making a profit, but not the actual trans community. Some of them are very happy. Some of them are pushed by doctors looking to make a profit and that is a tragedy. It’s never okay to hate a community. Never.

by Anonymousreply 12October 19, 2019 1:30 AM

R11, my pronoun is fuck you

by Anonymousreply 13October 19, 2019 1:31 AM

OP ....are you lost?

by Anonymousreply 14October 19, 2019 1:33 AM

Just like the Terry Millers and Perez Hiltons of the gay community, trans people have their own messes as well, and they -- by the virtue of their loudness -- are sometimes perceived as the avatars for the entire community. Which is just so unfortunate.

Having said that, I vastly prefer FTMs to MTFs just in general. The difference in drama that surrounds them at any given time is... whew.

by Anonymousreply 15October 19, 2019 1:33 AM

The problem is trans make everything lgbt about them, even something non trans related they try and highjack. They live acting like gay men and woman no longer face descimibation and trans are the only ones getting deacrimanted against. Gay men are still beaten and killed only for being gay.

by Anonymousreply 16October 19, 2019 1:34 AM

It’s really unfair to compare Mrs. Dan Savage to Perez Hilton. Terry’s a good person. Perez Hilton is not.

by Anonymousreply 17October 19, 2019 1:37 AM

R16 Ten raise awareness rather than hatred on a fucking message board. Get off your ass and do something

by Anonymousreply 18October 19, 2019 1:37 AM

*then

by Anonymousreply 19October 19, 2019 1:37 AM

Lol says the imbecile sitting on his old ass posting on a message board.

by Anonymousreply 20October 19, 2019 1:39 AM

r17 I disagree profoundly but YMMV.

by Anonymousreply 21October 19, 2019 1:39 AM

Ok, I have to say it, some trans men are really HOT!

by Anonymousreply 22October 19, 2019 1:42 AM

I just read a recent Out magazine and it was 75% trans. For a group that is a minority of a minority, this is not acceptable (no wonder they've gone down to just 6 issues a year). They have almost totally taken over traditionally gay magazines.

And weirdly, the phrase "sex worker" kept appearing in stories- about a half dozen times. Clearly they are hoping for the legalization of prostitution, as most trannies make money doing tricks.

by Anonymousreply 23October 19, 2019 1:43 AM

They can do what they want but they are ridiculous to insert themselves into women's sports. There's a reason the transwomen rise to the top of females sports while transmen just cant keep up in males sports. Bitch, biology is not a social construct.

by Anonymousreply 24October 19, 2019 1:43 AM

Boris, you’re going to have to do better than this. Blocked.

by Anonymousreply 25October 19, 2019 1:44 AM

[quote]when asked what she wanted for Christmas she would reply she wanted to have a little dick.

Who was molesting her?

by Anonymousreply 26October 19, 2019 1:44 AM

Trans men have pussies. And dildos. Some can give birth.

by Anonymousreply 27October 19, 2019 1:44 AM

[quote]I have a member of my family that is in the process of transitioning. At very, very young age she wanted to be a man, like when asked what she wanted for Christmas she would reply she wanted to have a little dick.

Honey, a lot of us would love to have a little dick during the holidays to ease the stress.

by Anonymousreply 28October 19, 2019 1:57 AM

Trans are less than 1% or the pop and less than 4% of LGBT. why do they get all the focus?

by Anonymousreply 29October 19, 2019 2:11 AM

OP, I'm not "anti-trans" and "hate" is ugly in any form. You and others should know some facts. Appearance, genitalia & lifestyle don't determine gender.

Every American adult has the right to identify as a gender that he (XY) or she (XX) is not and live as the opposite gender, free from discrimination with all rights of the U.S. Constitution & the resident state. However, trans advocates have overstepped reasonable boundaries.

Since Gender Dysphoria is a DSM-defined mental condition unrelated to sexual orientation, a "T" should not have been added to the LGBQ umbrella. The foregoing isn't an attempt to alienate, isolate, marginalize, or insult people with Gender Dysphoria, defined as a person's inability or refusal to identify as his or her chromosomal gender.

Regarding the teacher's lawsuit thread here, the laws of this country do not permit minors to confront a teacher or other school authority by stating, "...you must respect who I am." Any decent parent understands the implications and every such action by a student must be promptly corrected appropriately with parental involvement to include strict discipline. A main role of schools is to properly educate children to help prepare them for adulthood. Schools & their resources are not gender identity exploration & support systems. As a mental condition, Gender Dysphoria must be confidential and therefore, doesn't belong in primary & secondary schools.

The commenter who suggested that the school board should be successfully sued is an idiot. The "trans" student violated rules by disrupting the learning environment with disrespectful & unethical behavior and interfering with the teacher's authority; the teacher did nothing wrong. A teacher or principal is always in charge; he or she never defers to a minor student in the absence of a parent. That's our law. Lawsuits against school boards deplete public funds and penalize taxpayers & children.

Only children who are inter-sexed should receive hormones and/or surgery. The brain continues to develop into the 20s, but the age of adulthood is 18. Other patients with mental health problems don't receive elective surgery to cure their psychological problems.

The topic you introduced only applies to the tiniest fraction of the population. Our country & our planet have serious problems that demand real solutions now. Nobody should be ignored, but the problems introduced by the transgender controversy are unethical & unacceptable. Trans people are not to blame in general, but everyone campaigning about "trans kids" needs a dose of reality. Children can be born inter-sexed, but never transgender. No competent, ethical doctor would induce physical "transition" until adulthood. Only an adult who has received intensive psychotherapy can make an informed decision to undergo body modification. "Sex-change operations" & "gender-reassignment surgeries" don't exist. Everyone XX will always female and everyone XY will always be male; surgeries & hormones only change perception.

by Anonymousreply 30October 19, 2019 3:09 AM

Women have pussies between their legs.

Men have cocks between their legs.

End of story.

by Anonymousreply 31October 19, 2019 3:33 AM

Thank you R30 (unlike the OP, with his VPNs or whatever who talks to himself, I am not R30), you nailed it. Should be the standard response on any trans thread really.

R6, anecdotally, amongst people I know, your family member’s story is not unusual. He’s trying to achieve something that deep down he knows is impossible and which starts with the message that something is wrong with his body because of how his brain is wired and he needs to be “fixed.” It’s not surprising if he is not feeling good about that and it’s a big reason why I don’t want this ideology sold to kids. It’s a harmful message.

There are very few people who are actually really trans — probably about the same number who used to identify that way in the 90s rather than who do so now — and many of the rest seen to me to be people who are struggling with the expectations placed on their sex but who aren’t “really” the other sex, even if the latter were possible.

I don’t even know if I’m allowed to say this kind of thing anymore but I hope your family member can go back to being a non-gender-conforming lesbian if that makes him happier.

by Anonymousreply 32October 19, 2019 3:36 AM

Medical ethics argument aside. It’s never cool to hate a community for any reason! Don’t forget where YOU came from

by Anonymousreply 33October 19, 2019 3:44 AM

It isn't hate to find them tiresome, discuss the negative implications of the social changes they're pushing (particularly as it will impact G&L), and question the monomania surrounding them.

by Anonymousreply 34October 19, 2019 3:54 AM

R6, I'm sorry to hear about your relative and your struggles, I admire you and please take care of yourself.

R26, I asked myself the same question after reading R6's post since I've done much research in that area.

R32, thanks for your compliment and comments.

R33, I'm uncertain if your last comment was for me, but science has proven that sexual orientation isn't chosen or a mental illness. However, transgenderism (Gender Dysphoria) is a mental condition. There's no comparison of sexual orientation with G.D.,, which my original comments clarified. I don't condone trans hate. Those with G.D. can have healthy lives. For those who don't, mental health care is required, not societal accommodations. G.D. is not a handicap or disability.

-30

by Anonymousreply 35October 19, 2019 4:10 AM

R35. That argument doesn’t justify hating a group of people. Sorry, nothing does! No studies. No ignorance justifies the hatred I see

by Anonymousreply 36October 19, 2019 4:23 AM

R36, I believe you see nothing clearly because you're emotional since your perspectives and personal feelings aren't satisfied. If you're going to make those types of serious charges, present specifics, not write vague silliness. My comments don't display or present ignorance; your accusations are guilty of that.

-35

by Anonymousreply 37October 19, 2019 5:25 AM

Starights favor trans because they see it as a way to normalize us, it's all homophobia. Parents forcing their kids to transition because they act gay is proof. Some kids that act fem or butch don't even end up being gay yet their stupid homophobic parents force them into transitioning, because they view homosexuality as abnormal. Yeah cause hacking your body and pretending to be the opposite sex is tottaly normal.

by Anonymousreply 38October 19, 2019 6:00 AM

Straights*

by Anonymousreply 39October 19, 2019 6:11 AM

We have at least one troll who starts all sorts of trollbait threads about trans, CFA, immigration, Brexit, "women are the real pedos," Meghan Markle, etc. A lot of the anti troll sentiment here comes from this deliberate shit stirring.

AYB and PPSM and Gap Guy and Matt all have a history of trolling, a couple of them to the point of DDoSing the site, and I suspect they join in on the anti trans stuff because it causes a lot of discord.

The rest are just hetero malcontents.

If you're wondering why these people don't do something about their beloved cause, that's why: they don't want to. They just want to stir up shit online.

Sad, really.

by Anonymousreply 40October 19, 2019 6:30 AM

I'm upset to see that, as a group, trans people are underemployed. Why is that? My daughter has a friend who has transitioned (hormones, no surgery) and when I look online to see what she's been up to, I see a very intelligent unemployed 23 yo. Her peers have finished post graduate degrees and are moving on to their careers yet this kid who is so smart and sharp has just stalled for no damn reason. Got a degree in fashion merchandising but is not working from what I can see. And it seems to be a common thing among the whole cohort of trans youth -- failure to launch.

by Anonymousreply 41October 19, 2019 6:38 AM

Can someone explain to me the recent "no surgery" trend among those who claim to be trans? Genuine question. How does that actually work?

by Anonymousreply 42October 19, 2019 6:54 AM

R41 oh stop it. Up till recently highest paid "woman" CEO was a transwoman (Martine Rothblatt). For reference there are currently only two women of color CEOs on the Fortune 500. That's how rough it is for women at that level. And then along comes Mr Rothblatt. And then now the "women" entrusted with the highest movie budget ever granted to a woman director are...you guessed it, trans. Do you have any idea how many actually talented black actresses Laverne Cox has leap frogged all on account of Hollywood's desperation to appear woke? Academia is littered with transwomen. I wouldn't be surprised if there are faculties that have never hired a woman but have a transgender woman professor

Basically, male to female trans may lose some of their male status but not enough to drop to womens level. The trans lobby likes to decontextualise stats. A lot of trans people do sex work because it's a quick buck to pay for their transitions. Plus some have said they find being desired by "straight men" psychologically reaffirming of their gender.

by Anonymousreply 43October 19, 2019 7:32 AM

R43. Ahahahahahaha! That’s like saying Andy Cohen makes a lot of money so gay men face no discrimination. Fuck you

by Anonymousreply 44October 19, 2019 7:54 AM

Anderson Cooper is the highest paid reporter at cnn. Gay men suffer zero discrimination. Fight that logic. Fight it!

by Anonymousreply 45October 19, 2019 7:57 AM

R41, I didn’t quite say this to R6 above but considered it... now I’m going to say it. I deplore employment discrimination. I live in the UK, where the law is quite clear on protecting LGBT people from being fired because of their sexuality or trans status (although it doesn’t protect gender identity the way the likes of our Stonewall charity claim). And to the extent that trans people don’t get jobs because employers are prejudiced, or they need medical leave through transition and struggle to stay employed, then I really dislike the idea of that happening and am hugely sympathetic.

But — and I hate to say this — trans ideology is a depressing and negative one, for the reasons outlined in this thread. It requires the trans person to think there’s something fundamentally wrong with themselves and to attempt to make the rest of the world ignore the basic meanings of language and material facts (women don’t have penises, biological sex is important for many reasons, for example), and there’s a lot of nastiness in the movement that comes from the fact the people pushing it know their arguments are flakey and have to use demands or else bend the truth. Trans activists use inaccurate suicide and murder stats to this end and those must be terribly depressing, too.

And, dare I say it... I agree some of the younger generation has been kicked in the teeth as regards jobs. On the other hand, I am only late 30s but it seems something changed in the generation after mine. I see a lack of realistic goals in some students these days (wanting jobs they aren’t qualified for, wanting jobs that are interesting or concern the media or the arts when these are rare and badly-paid). . Trans identity is more common amongst a young, unmotivated sector of the population who will also claim depression, anxiety to an extent that prevents working, or else assert that they have a disability based on hidden illnesses that used to be rare, like fibromyalgia or Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. If you want to read between the lines... This results in no, they don’t have a job but they do have a link to theIr Patreon.

Now, I will agree that feeling on the margins of society can be quite a vicious circle — you don’t have a job (perhaps partly due to discrimination), you don’t feel motivated, and then you don’t get a job so you don’t have a job... but to me the mindset is all part of trans’s negative culture. There’s something wrong with me, I can’t work because I’m too ill in whatever way, etc. It comes from the same place.

If it balances it out, as a lesbian, a running joke amongst not only my friends but any lesbian I meet with a job, an immediate easy in-joke, is also how lots of lesbians don’t seem to have jobs either... the suggestion is not that discrimination is involved but that yes, lesbian culture is more tolerant or indeed welcoming of living like a student into your 30s, or spending twelve hours a day on Tumblr and then continually claiming to be broke.

by Anonymousreply 46October 19, 2019 9:33 AM

You're a genuinely decent person, r46. Telling the actual truth. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 47October 19, 2019 10:25 AM

I see PPSM and the TERF brigade have found this thread.

by Anonymousreply 48October 19, 2019 4:16 PM

Thanks R48 (wouldn’t be surprised if it’s OP again). The fact is there are no actually coherent arguments for the changes the trans activist side is demanding, so they resort to your sort of post.

by Anonymousreply 49October 19, 2019 4:32 PM

I’m not OP nor am I a trans activist. I just get sick of your bullshit, that’s all. You’re an asshole with severe anger management issues. Especially after your daddy left you in Liechtenstein or wherever.

by Anonymousreply 50October 19, 2019 5:21 PM

Either this is some weird trolling I don’t get or someone needs to take their meds.

by Anonymousreply 51October 19, 2019 5:38 PM

I don't believe a young child has ever stated they wanted a small dick - and how the fuck did she know what that was or what it was for anyway?

There's nothing wrong with being a butch woman. Somehow, over the past 10 years, it's become a problem that needs fixing by chopping off your tits and taking medications.

by Anonymousreply 52October 19, 2019 5:51 PM

Based on comments from OP, R36 and those who embrace the transgender movement including transitioning of minors, they don't know facts, don't actually know people who are transgender, who are inter-sexed, don't know the difference and why it's important. I've known and worked with both.

Gender dysphoria is not part of the inter-sex spectrum of physiological disorders. People who are inter-sexed have medical issues that often require lifelong and expensive care, which may not be available to them in the USA. That larger population is being marginalized and disrespected by today's inappropriate focus on "trans".

All adults should be permitted to live as they desire. However, hormonal therapy and/or body-modification surgery on minors who don't have physiological disorders is child abuse.

Medical science has proven that children who express gender confusion have suffered sexual abuse or other traumatic event, and require a supportive parent and a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist. Anybody who believes such a child should be permitted to be labeled transgender and to "transition" suffers from a psychological problem.

Don't pontificate and don't ever accuse of me of hate; you don't know me. When I came out, one of my 1st & closest friends was a biological man (XY) who lives as a female. She doesn't accept and doesn't approve of the label "transgender". -R30

by Anonymousreply 53October 19, 2019 6:14 PM

DL should be worried about the growing trans presence here. Nobody, not the far right or the far left, polices words and thoughts as militantly as those guys. Although the funny thing is they never go after the Joe Rogens or Jordan Petersons for deplatforming.

by Anonymousreply 54October 19, 2019 6:25 PM

ffs, there is no “growing trans presence” here. There are people who are sick and goddamn tired of morons acting like trans people are some sinister cabal trying to infiltrate “decent homosexual society” and commit genocide on gay men and lesbians. Find a hobby.

by Anonymousreply 55October 19, 2019 7:33 PM

Because they are

by Anonymousreply 56October 19, 2019 7:48 PM

R54. The only growing presence I worry about here is the growing presence of bigots.

by Anonymousreply 57October 19, 2019 9:08 PM

Less than 1% of the population and <5% of the LGBT population demanding we all kowtow to them.

Simple as that.

by Anonymousreply 58October 19, 2019 10:17 PM

Straight men in dresses and badly applied eyeshadow have nothing in common with gay men and lesbians.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 59October 19, 2019 10:22 PM

Another one for you to adore OP

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 60October 19, 2019 10:24 PM

ADORATION IS OBLIGATORY

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 61October 19, 2019 10:32 PM

Brave and stunning OP

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 62October 19, 2019 10:37 PM

I think the difference is with the old definition of T and the new. The old trans were extremely femme gay men that wanted to have a sex change operation - no-one involved were under any impression it'd actually change their sex. It was a tiny percentage of gay men who went so far to have this operation. The gay community was supportive as we knew they were gay men and probably had issues and often were sex workers. I suppose in the US, if you can find the money for the op, it happens. The new definition of trans has nothing to do with GLB. They are straight men identifying as women. They have nothing in common with us. Transmen are not going to have a good night once her gay date takes her clothes off.

Have soft spot for the old skool trans who went ahead and got their surgery when they were older and I like it made they lives better. Unfortunately there are so many young people being pressured into identifying into their opposite gender and not's right. We should be looking after these kids and actually it's people like us who sho be doing it. I have "pansexual non-binary" goddaughter. I was initially proud of until she started talking about possibly transing.

by Anonymousreply 63October 19, 2019 10:44 PM

[quote]Although the funny thing is they never go after the Joe Rogens or Jordan Petersons for deplatforming.

Yeah, it's always RuPaul, Pete Buttigieg and out-and-proud lesbians like Martina. Interesting, innit?

by Anonymousreply 64October 20, 2019 2:24 AM

R63, you have a point. A parent's legal & moral obligation is to prepare his or her child to be a healthy, productive adult. Dangers to that difficult task have existed and varied since the dawn of time. The specific trans silliness occurring today is such a danger. Birth certificates with no gender are certain to cause family problems and psychological instability. What's a child's future quality-of-life, how will expensive care be obtained in adulthood and what's the negative effect on society? Every baby is born with a definitive gender (XX or XY) that can't be changed unless the child is inter-sexed, which is exceedingly rare and a confidential medical condition protected by laws.

I'm not an eldergay and recognize that a primary problem of today's world is "anything goes" regardless of the consequences. Few people want to slam on the brakes and come together to just talk about solving problems while we all continue the slide straight to Hades.

-30

by Anonymousreply 65October 20, 2019 9:08 AM

R54, thanks for your comment; I want to reply.

I don't pay attention to people like Joe Rogan because they're overexposed and overpaid tools for a purpose -- to divide and conquer. However, he did a show on the trans topic with Adam Conover of "Adam Ruins Everything" which is usually an excellent program. Adam got his ass whipped, as he should have. He admitted he was unprepared and uninformed.

Jordan Peterson is a fucking nut and a douche, regardless of his credentials. It's called resume'-building, used frequently by right-wingers including President Trump and the former Mylan executive who never earned the degree about which she bragged. Intelligence higher than average isn't required to obtain an MBA. High intelligence and intensive effort aren't required to obtain an MBA from a prestigious university when one originates from great privilege.

-30

by Anonymousreply 66October 20, 2019 9:30 AM

R62, thanks for your post about Dana Rivers. I'm not interested in sensationalism. My reply:

As a male teacher, Ms. Rivers violated the law and school board regulations by revealing to minor students that decided he was transgender and intended to transition. He was warned in advance not to do that. When Americans intentionally violate laws and applicable regulations, they suffer the consequences. The American justice system is flawed. The settlement Rivers accepted was peanuts, but he permanently scarred innocent children, broke the law and caused his own problems.

The bottom line is "transgender" does not belong in schools with minors. It's not necessary like sex education; 38 states only teach abstinence which is ridiculous.

A revealing item in the newspaper article is that as an adolescent, Rivers skipped school and experimented with drugs. Please see my comment that gender dysphoria is a mental diagnosis; those who identify as transgender suffered sexual abuse or a traumatic event.

Those who want to see an appropriate route to a life of the opposite gender, refer to the attached about Dr. Lynette Nusbacher. The article is wrong that Dr. Nusbacher changed his gender; that's not possible. He's a male (XY) who lives as a woman, which is his right. I'm interested if she embraces the transgender label.

-30

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 67October 20, 2019 10:41 AM

R52 im the one who wrote at R6 and you may not believe but I can guarantee you that it happened. She was a child around 4 or 5 years old. My first language isn’t English so by “title dick” I mean whatever the English word parents will tell their children about genitalia. For Christmas she was asked what she wanted. And she would say I want to have a little dick, meaning she wanted to have a penis, because she wanted to be a boy. She would say that out loud and clearly. Im not kidking or lying, this is really true and it happened in the late 70s. My own mother was a witness. Later she was always super masculine, played soccer all the time, had a very masculine voice and even her parents could see and feel that a dress wouldn’t look natural on her. She grew up to be a “normal” happy lesbian who had a normal jobs and long term committed relations. But then at a certain point a few years ago things went a bit strange. We noticed a pattern of starting things like professional opportunities and then didn’t finished them, she would kind of find of give up. Then she decided to do a PHD in a fancy University. Borrowed money from the bank and then after 3 years of a lot of academia she didn’t presented the dissertation and thats when she moved back to her mothers home (who has pancreatic cancer) and announced to the rest of the family she is trans, or has gender dysphoria and its going to transition. We knew her background, we all remember those things from childhood, so it wasn’t really a chock at all and we all accepted her. But then she took on the idea of transitioning as the center of her life, nothing else matter, friends, relations, health, money, nothing matter and all of the people in the world seem to be out to get her. I feel very much exactly the way R32 and R46 the really negativity that exudes from him now has lead him to be at the moment about to become homeless. It is THAT BAD and thats why im so sad, and yes, selfishly almost I miss my old dear beautiful butch lesbian cousin who used to protect me and inspire me. We all think that the all process was to fast and to quick - so in here in data lounge I actually have learned valuable lessons from people who are critical of the movement, namely the obvious “push” of the medical community that takes advantage of peoples mental problems to make big money. I thank R35 and others the words of support. It means lot.

by Anonymousreply 68October 21, 2019 12:28 AM

R68 A four year old who says they want a "little dick" is being molested. At best she's being exposed to inappropriate discussions. As with all mental disorders people are born with biological predisposition which are then triggered in harmful environments. Poor girl.

by Anonymousreply 69October 21, 2019 7:02 AM

R69 I have serious doubts (about sexual molestation or abuse) because we would have talked abou it (we, meaning me and him are / were very very close and that peculiar trauma happened to me - she would have told me if it had happen to her, unless she doesn't know or remember. "Litle dick" is the word we use in my language to say penis when you are a child, it has nothing to do inappropriate discussions (or at least at the time). The parents would tell her that in order to explain the diference about being a girl and being a boy. Yes there were traumas, very serious ones, of violence, an alcoholic father and a completely narcissistic mother. those things left deep wounds for sure. Im really lost now and today we had to "let him" hit rock bottom and no more sending money to help him. he will become really homeless. its very sad.

by Anonymousreply 70October 21, 2019 6:35 PM

R70, I am not sure either that your relative must have suffered abuse.

But he is identifying with an ideology that is harmful, negative, hostile and drags people down and you can see this for yourself. I am not interested in the resident DL trans cult defender calling me names for saying things as I see them. Where a trans identity makes someone’s life objectively worse, it can and should be challenged.

If you have a way to let him know that the lesbian community is always there for him if he wants to go back, please tell him so, because we are indeed here. There are many detransitioned and nearly-transitioned butch lesbians on Twitter and elsewhere who would like to help him and will not judge and will support.

by Anonymousreply 71October 21, 2019 11:07 PM

R71 I sincerely thank you for the words and will try to pass him the message. the thing is that any vague mention of something that could threat or even question the transition process will get us all with a big "fuck you!" response. this includes accepting that there he/she needs help, mental help not financial, and go back into to therapy, which she clearly needs.

Again for the sake of clarity I asked today exactly how the story went it was like this: as a very young girl her parents asked what she wanted for Christmas and she would say "I want to be a boy" and the parents would reply, "you can't be a boy because you are a girl" and she would reply "why?" and they would say "because you have a pee pee not a willie" so then she would say: "can I have a willie a for Christmas?" that is the story. It really happened. He/she is a wonderful human being and breaks my heart to see it sink so low. Things would be easier if he was an addict, you see a destructive behaviour and you know it must stop in order to start recovery. in here he is in complete denial so its very hard to help. Thank you again - I feel the sincerity in your words of support from the lesbian community R71

by Anonymousreply 72October 21, 2019 11:40 PM

Hey R72, you’re welcome. I am naturally a sort of soft butch type but over the years, I have come to a much greater appreciation and respect for my true butch sisters, and what they endure and stand for, and I have every respect for them. I’m also much more comfortable with myself.

I can suggest some decent Twitter accounts to follow if your relative is open to the idea and I wish him (or if he chooses, her) absolutely nothing but the best.

by Anonymousreply 73October 22, 2019 3:04 PM

Hi R73 thanks again! That could be a start, if you have any suggestions of twitter accounts for him to follow BUT I didn’t yet pass him your words. I need to filter them out just a little as to not be read as a threat. Again he his very paranoid about a lot of things, and that has include closing all social media - but maybe he can rejoin twitter. He still does write (in a very confessional, confrontational, direct mode) in a digital academic magazine so its not like he isn’t already out there and visible. I will try. Also please forgive with this he/she thing when I was writing before (he himself makes the mistake when talking) and for me its only that when talking about her childhood, its a “she”, when talking about the present moment of life its “he”. I also haven’t said anything (from your message) yet because he is in a very difficult situation and each time I write back he will ask for something, money to eat, emotional black mail, manipulation against the family or to convince them to help him (both here sisters said to me yesterday they tried everything and they give up, her mother is dying and her father is dead), so much desperation and so much negative energy I feel physically sick and unable to cope. I will try. Thanks again. I report here if there is any feedback from him.

by Anonymousreply 74October 23, 2019 12:00 AM
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