Let's be Russia!

Every fucking day is Russian Roulette Day.

I'm them getting screwed by Putin.

In Soviet Russia, thread be you!

I'm the depressing architecture.

I'm the whores desperate for a green card out of this country!

I am a drunk, passed out in the street.

Hi, I'm Russia, and I can see Alaska from my porch.

I'm the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome which affects over 90% of the country.

I'm the krokodil.

I'm the miserable winter.

What a horrible country. But they are so unhappy, they like being miserable.

I'm someone's translucent white ass.

I'm the extra sanctions coming their way once Democrats are back in office.

I am the millions of corpses in the permafrost around the former Arctic death camps.

I'm their devotion to Putin.

I’m the the absurd dash cam footage

I am the census, short by about 100m as a result of revolution, Lenin, Stalin, war, alcoholism and famine.

I am owed a long-overdue debt of gratitude for saving the World from the Nazis; why shouldn't I have Crimea?

I am the despair

I am the cheap Cologne worn by the stinking, unwashed citizenry.

I know people who have to work 2-3 jobs, just to get by. No, I don't mean Russia, but the US of A. Yes, we are better off here, but not by a big stretch. Stop deluting yourself by making comparisons with some shit hole country that has never heard about civil rights.

I am Svetlana. I am looking for rich Chinese man to marry. I join matchmaking agency to help me find one. Then I go to China and live a rich and happy life.

The issue in the so-called Great Depression was were we better off here with no money and the New Deal and FDR or in the Soviet Union with no money, Stalin and alleged full-employment. Some thought they would be better off in Russia, and Henry Ford encouraged many a union man to go to his plants in Russia whence they never returned (consigned to the Gulag).

I am their shocking poverty.

I am their horrifying homophobia.

What will happen to Russia when Democrats take back control?

I’m the richest person in the world.

R26:

I am tasteful друзья́.

I'm the orphans.

I'm the tears that never end.

I'm the poison streaming through the veins of anyone who knows too much.

I am Chernobyl.I am the leaves and logs too irradiated to decay.

I am the transcendently beautiful Russian fashion models blowing everyone else out of the water.

I'm the nineteen hundred drunk yoga positions

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I'm the viral kiddie tune "Baby Sturgeon."

I am Putin's botox doctor, who does not have the balls to tell Putin his face now looks like that of an aging fashion designer.

I'm the eye-watering B.O.

I'm the Russian troll that will be triggered by this and proceed to make post after post about how bad America is.

I'm Moscow and I don't believe in R34.

I'm GUARDIANS, a cheap but impressive looking version of AVENGERS.

My whole budget cost about a week's worth of craft service on INFINITY WAR

I’m Maria Vladmirovna Romanov who thinks she’ll get her fat French Ass back on the imperial throne.

I'm the tasteful and elegant TV programming.

I’m the all-permeating smell of beets.

[quote]I’m Maria Vladmirovna Romanov who thinks she’ll get her fat French Ass back on the imperial throne.

She looks like Phyllis in Accounts Receivable in a tiara.

I don't find Russian models / whores attractive at all. They always look like the straight man's idea of sexy which inevitably means the women look like plastic drag queens. Beauty is never "natural" in Russia.

I'm the now blackened and caked blood soaked fragments of the Tsarevich Aelxei's hair and skull that remained stuck to the butt of the rifle of the soldier who walked over to the freshly assassinated victims, still spurting blood from their mouths, noses, ears and wounds, exposing tissue, bone and prolapsed internal organs, and seeing Nicholas's 13 year old son wasn't dead from the initial volley, smashed the butt of his rifle repeatedly into the region of his ear, leaving nothing but crushed bone, tissue and hair, until the job was done.

I am the Asiatic cruelty.

R46 The lady in question was born in Spain, married a German and is an hon citizen of Agrigento in Sicily. What makes you think she may be French?

I’m the horrible wallpaper. I’m everywhere.

I am the young people who have enough of this shit.

I live in Kaliningrad. I do all my shopping in Poland or Lithuania because all the Russian-made stuff is shit.

If you live in Kaliningrad, you are most likely not allowed into the EU for shopping: visa for shopping, da? I don't think so, Ivan.

R57, Kaliningrad residents who have passports (70% of the population do) can freely travel to Lithuania without visas. This used to be the case with Poland too, until Poland indefinitely suspended visa-free travel. One can still travel to Poland with an e-visa for 35€ , but for many residents this would mean planning a weekend holiday rather than a quick day trip just for shopping.

I’m the hot new career—sex-cammer. Give me tokens and I’ll spurt.

I am enjoying Trump's distortion of US values.

I'm the small smelly dicks!

I'm the two hairstyles Russian men are permitted to have.

I am a country with literary influence over the entire world.

I am a country whose literary works USED to influence the world. Now my people are drunks, drug addicts and whores. They are too busy shooting krokodil in their veins to even bother cracking open a tv guide.

I'm Edward Snowdon. People forget I'm stuck here. It's a bleak enough existence as it is, without all the stinking cabbage farts, the stench of old fish, (or is that the Russian ladies' scent?) and all the requests I get from the Kremlin to hack away at America's computer networks. I wish there was some way out ultimately. I drink Vodka with every meal, not because I like the taste, or the numbing sensation it provides, but to hopefully hasten my death.

We're the thousands of people whose job it is to post things on a relatively obscure gay message board called Datalounge.

Our original assignment was to post things that would get older gay men riled up, but since just about anything can get Datalounge posters riled up, our job is super easy and the pay is great!

Plus we can use the American idioms we learned watching RuPaul's Drag House

You go hunty!!! Spill some tea!!!

I'm Trump Vodka, the country's most popular douching solution.

I am Svetlana, one of last makers of obscure high end audio and industrial vacuum tubes in the world. More hours of Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage are heard on American AM radio through wondrous Svetlana transmitter tubes than any other.

I am the tastefully decorated Dacha recently purchased by the charismatic Pakhan

I hacker. Have your password.

i Red sperrow

We're the abandoned venues from the $50 billion Winter Olympics in Sochi.

I'm Pole who lived under the Soviet occupation for over 20 years, so believe me I have more reasons to hate these people more than you do. But I don't ... because unlike you I can see the complexity of the world we are living. Strangely enough, I have just finished listening to Tchaikovsky's 6th Symphony recorded by The Leningrad Symphony Orchestra under Yevgeny Mravinsky and I ask myself why people who can make such wonderful music are capable of such atrocities. And when I think of the many years I have spent in the US, I ask myself, why people who created this great country would send its army to Vietnam or Iraq? Frankly, I don't know the answer ...

I'm the ghost of Joseph Stalin - look who's popular again, Ma!

I’m the gold leaf that I put on every square inch of everything because I’m classy.

R73 Deep post for this sort of thread, but I like it. Were you listening to Tchaikovsky on vinyl? I wish you could play all your favourite records for me.

I am a country with musical influence over the entire world.

R73 Until war is abandoned as the pursuit of national policy by 'other' means, assholes will keep invading other countries. Best stay at home and tend to one's back yard.

In music and in literature my ascendancy endures.

We're the nuclear strikes that need to obliterate this shithole and its shitty people once and for all.

I am the descendants of White Russians living in the West. I still hold some of the cultural values of pre-Soviet Russia. I look upon Putin's Russia and am appalled.

R80 After the Bolsheviks, the Soviets, the KGB, the Whites, the partisans, the Nazis, the Communists, the Interventionists swarmed all over Russia killing nearly everyone of talent, only worms and cockroaches are left in that shithole: you can nuke it all you like but the cockroaches wil survive; the cockroaches also have bombs of their own with which they will retaliate kiling nearly everyone of talent on impact.

I'm their bitch.

I am a country with Marxist influence over the entire world. And yes, DJT is our bitch on heat.

I'm their new bitch in training.

I'm who every country will become, because humans, as a species, don't have a vision for the future, therefore don't deserve to have one.

R86 I agree.

I am vast and ungovernable except through extreme violence.

R86 you remind me, Im the vision that I once had that turned into a nightmare.

We are all going to the shitter, no matter where we live and what we believe ... because we are humans, the most vile creatures on this planet.

I'm the Turnip Harvest; I used to be important.

I'm their awful stink! These Russkies never shower

Stupid Russians. The only thing their trolling has managed to accomplish is to get a brand new generation of people to hate and mistrust them.

I am Operation InfeKtion. Russia's disinformation war against the free world:

I’m their horrifying choices in fashion and beauty. I’m also their overaggressive yet simultaneously bored with everyone and everything attitude. I care about nothing except for money.

I'm the flower giving tradition. If there's a birthday celebration in a restaurant, you'll see a nice non-cheap bouquet coming through the door with at least one guest.

Gross people. Gross garbage culture.

Hahaha

Maybe after Trump, they can genocide the Russian people and populate the country with civilized humans.

I am the ghosts of Chechnya and was murdered for reporting about it. Anna Stepanovna Politkovskaya

I'm a sable hat, black.

I'm Tulsi Gabbard, attending a job interview.

I'm Karabash the most polluted town in Russia.

I'm this cunt

For some reason, I imagine the whole country smells like one giant stinking pussy!

R105 A diseased herpes ridden pussy

I am President Putin's esthetician and facial-filler ladie. I do not say how (1) I am legally blind and (2) my filler is not really Restylane but greases from frying cheese blini. He say he like and looks good, though.

I'm all the dead butchered Romanovs in the basement in Ekaterinburg.

I'm a sepia saturated Krokodil drug lair.

r109 that's not sepia saturation! Everything in Russia has that tint. Perhaps it's the collective sadness of the people warping the visual spectrum.

I'm the enormous Jewish brain drain

I'm Rasputin's cock.

Is that for real, R112?

I am an American in Moscow noticing no difference between the homeless folks here and these back home.

I'm Melania and I'd rather fuck Boris then Donald. Just as most of you bitches ...

I'm Melania and I'd rather fuck Boris then Donald. Just as most of you bitches ...

I am a six-legged calf, born after the Chernobyl meltdown.

I am a polyglot model-beautiful 22 year old Russian girl with a degree in economics telling a 56 year old New Zealand farmer that I will be the best and most loyal wife he could ever have.

R10 I Am the" collective sadness of the people" thank you

I AM Anastasia the lost Romanov

I'm oner of Putins Oligarchs I'm trying to get as much money out of the country into as many secret bank accounts as I can.

I am the funny aspect of Russian existence....

I am the now world famous ballet dancers who defected in droves as soon as they could.

I am heroin. Russia is the largest consumer of me in the world and it's only getting worse.

I am the babushkas, Russian grannies, queueing for 3 hours in freezing cold, to buy a plastic bucket or bag of flour.

I'm the sticky, unwashed hair.

I’m greasy bortsch you smell on the metro

I'm the Russian Youtube trolls trying to create an image of a stable middle class life.