Felicity Huffman Reports To Prison For Sentence In College Bribery Scandal

Her convict handbook with rules and regulations....

Her new theme song:

So many rules and strictures and it's minimum security.

She can use the phone everyday but visitation is Saturday, Sunday & Federal Holidays only.

They put Felicity in the same clink as Patricia Hearst and Heidi Fleiss:

Previous inmates at FCI Dublin include the "Hollywood Madam" Heidi Fleiss and Patty Hearst. It currently houses about 1,200 inmates and is one of five federal prisons for women in the United States.

In 2009, FCI Dublin was named one of America's "10 cushiest prisons" by Forbes.

"Proximity to the Bay Area means gorgeous weather and easy travel options for visitors," Forbes wrote of the prison.

According to the inmate handbook, Huffman will be required to make her bed by 6:30 a.m. every weekday morning and by 10 a.m. every weekend.

In addition, inmates at FCI Dublin get at least one hour of recreation time a day, and Huffman can sunbathe if she so chooses since the facility has "sun decks" that are open on the weekends.

The prison also offers a number of hair care items available for checkout, including blow dryers, curling irons and hot plates. Haircuts and hair coloring are also permitted in FCI Dublin's "hair room."

The showers are private with curtains and only one per stall allowed. Whew!

William H Macy looks rough. Like he’s aged 30 years in the past few months.

So relieved she will be able to keep up with her tanning, though it's starting to get a wee bit nippy.

I hope they throw the Lori's in Guantanamo.

People.who.are.no danger to society have no business in prison. Not talking about Bernie Madoff, he was a predator.

A word to the wise: don't drop the soap, honey.

She should have submitted "Bang" as her Emmy consideration episode, it would have got her that Emmy. Where she got shot in the supermarket

Datalounge should write to her while she's in the hoosekow.

Maybe she'll find refuge in a woman's love.

Yep, Gay for the stay, as they say. ^^

[quote] A word to the wise: don't drop the soap, honey. —Patty Hearst Shaw

Patty Dear, times they are a changing. Have you read this thread? According to the rule book showers are private stalls with shower curtains and one inmate allowed per stall. Drop away.

I’m proud of her. I think she is a wonderful example of someone who legitimately made a mistake, and is accepting ownership. The only issue I have is what if she never was caught? Would she still be willing to say, ‘I’m sorry, I screwed up?’

I wonder if she’ll gave raunchy sex like the Martha Stewart-type on OITNB during a prison riot.

Probably. She looks like a tramp.

So when will she be out for good behavior? Place your bets.

R18 I think she will serve 4 days.

R18 start a poll thread. Great question.

Don't bother, R18. Federal prison sentences of < 1 year do not have early release. She will serve the full 14 days.

R21 really? Wow

So Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton's three hour jail time was State?

I don't think you get time off for good behavior with federal sentences. I could be wrong. If she can't suck up 14 days, that's lame. If I AM wrong, she should turn it down, because the backlash wouldn't be good. She got a hard enough time for only getting 14 days.

R21 beat me to it. Good to know she has to sit it out.

I hope she remembered to bring money to bribe the Screws.

R7: He's looked like hell for quite awhile.

R27 yes, he’s probably worried Felicity will come out liking pussy.

This sentence is such a joke. Fourteen days in a white collar prison: She's basically going to camp.

Munch some carpet for me, honey!

Barry and Fran Weissler are finalizing the contract for their new Roxie as we speak.

Can she write a screenplay in two weeks?

I love the idea that stylists are now used to create the appropriate ‘Transported To Prison’ look for crestfallen celebrities.

Ho much time will Lori Loughlin get it Felicity who plead guilty and paid much less money only got 14 days?

Probably 6 months.

Complete travesty of justice. She shouldn't have to serve a day behind bars!

Does she get cable TV ?

[quote]This sentence is such a joke. Fourteen days in a white collar prison: She's basically going to camp.

Who did she hurt? She tried to get more time for her daughter at the SATS. The daughter wasn't in college so she took no one's place. Plus she pled guilty. Unclench, Public Enemy Number One she ain't.

You’re a fucking moron R37. She would have hurt someone if she had the opportunity. Do you think she would have had a come-to-Jesus moment if she wasn’t arrested and told her daughter not to go to college this year? Retake the SATs and apply next year? Come on!

I really wish she would have had to liquify all of her assets and donate everything to a charity. She and her husband are still making a shit ton of money and would be more comfortable than any of us in a year.

[quote]I really wish she would have had to liquify all of her assets and donate everything to a charity.

Psycho.

I think each parent should have to pay a kid's way through college...other than their own kid that is. They may not have hurt anyone but every point given to their child was detrimental to another student in some manner.

I hope her dumb kid appreciates it.

She shouldn't of had to serve ANY prison time!

[quote]The prison also offers a number of hair care items available for checkout, including blow dryers, curling irons and hot plates. Haircuts and hair coloring are also permitted in FCI Dublin's "hair room."

So glad she'll be able to preserve her exquisite blondness over those 2 weeks behind bars.

Because... priorities.

R42 = One of the Loris.

Both likely (hopefully) shitting their pants at what THEIR outcome is going to be.

Would have been a lot less expensive and embarrassing to have just forced the kid to study over the past 12 years.

[quote] She shouldn't of had to serve ANY prison time!

You shouldn’t have been able to pass 5th grade.

I think this will boost her career if anything. The best thing that happened to her is Aunt Becky.

FH reminds suburban housewives of themselves, a good person trying to do their best for their kids. Aunt Becky and her trashy spawn are like the brash newcomers in their tacky McMansions trying to buy their way into the posh country club. She'll be fine.

Her fellow inmates taunt her by narrating her every move in Mary Alice’s voice.

The fact that her daughter has a learning disability resonated a little with me.

Wonder if she will leave Macy once everything is over since he got away with it all.

They did not pay tuition, they did not want to. Instead they created a fake charity, so they could write all the money off their taxes. Also, some of the kids have stated that they did not attend classes, they wanted a VIP Club experience.

r49 In my view, if a kid has a learning disability that is all the more reason NOT to try and buy or "fudge" their way into an academic environment that they may not be suited for. It serves no-one. They should attend a school that is a good fit for their legitimate level of ability.

[italic] "I can't believe I have to wear someone's else's used underwear." [/italic]

Oh honey, please. Haven't you ever shopped Goodwill?

Forget 14-Day Sentence ... 13 Days and She's Free!!!

This was a victimless crime. Actually, it shouldn't be a crime at all. This power hungary judge should be disbarred!

Felicity had a mommy blog, where she bragged about her kids intelligence.

Ironically, according to the photos, the prison cell looks just like a college dorm room!

She MAJORLY LOOKS POSITIVELY EQUINE WITH HER HORRIBLY UGLY HORSE FACE!

She has to shit in front of three other people? Humiliating!

R59, the photo showed a sink in the shared room (three beds), but not a toilet. Perhaps there's a large common bathroom (with stalls) on the cell block, and they can go whenever they want. (I'm betting at this place, the doors are not locked.)

r60 I am guessing that too, and the original report of an "open toilet" in a cell with 3 other people was erroneous. The Daily Fail failed again! It did seem out of place with the rest of the way this outfit is set up.

[quote]She has to shit in front of three other people? Humiliating!

If they have separate shower stalls with curtains, chances are the toilet isn't out in the open either.

I hope the Loris only get a bucket. Maybe not even that. Just a designated shitting corner.

Dammit, I was told there would be a bidet. WTF?

What's all the fuss and worry? Orange IS the new Black.

What day does the waxer come?

Some people have nothing better to do than waste the taxpayers money prosecuting non crimes.

The "she did nothing wrong" troll is getting tedious as fuck.

The "she did nothing wrong" troll troll is getting tedious as fuck.

Sending Huffman to jail for 13 days is stupid. It would have been better to hit her where it would really hurt: a motherfucker of a fine (seven figures) and then several hundred hours of community service.

Actors that do war films will do two weeks of real basic training, she'll just get thru as if she was researching a prison movie.

You can USE this experience, Felicity.

Prison and now her husband died. Poor Felicity.

[quote]She has to shit in front of three other people? Humiliating!

She can hold it for 13 days.

God will get you for that, r73.

IRS/FBI are cracking down on fake charities. I say GOOD! There is a financial penalties for these crimes too.

IRS/FBI are cracking down on fake charities. I say GOOD! There is a financial penalties for these crimes too.

Will Equity and SAG now allow William H. to go by Bill, r73?

He should take her surname to reflect his solidarity.

I live in the bay area. Tomorrow I'm going to the prison in Dublin to show my support for Felicity.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

One week to go....who will get the big interview, Oprah? Gail?

I hope nobody is making her eat pussy against her will.

Hubby and one daughter show up.

The daughter she did all of this bullshit for is the one who stayed home. I can only imagine how that kid feels. My cold dead heart goes out to her.

The fining them and making them pay for another kid who can’t afford tuition is a good idea. They should still do time though. It’s too bad she’s the only person going to jail when Oxford and Cambridge have run on graft and nepotism for centuries.

I wonder if Felicity asked if she could write off the upgraded jail cell off her taxes?

I had her cleanin' my toilet with a toothbrush today. She a'ight

Glad to delete, R17.

Do they get conjugal visits? Does Macy have to suffer for two weeks too?

R88 I'm glad you taught that chalk-faced whore some manners, Dutchess!

When she was admitted to prison would she have had to strip down and have her privates parts probed to ensure she wasn't trying to smuggle something in?

R92 Yes. A cavitry search is part of the intake process. Martha had to spread 'em and cough too.

Here is the list of stuff she can get at the commissary. The poor thing has to make do with Suave. I'm sure once the Loris see that, they will be throwing each other under the bus at lightning speed.

I like R40's idea, too, R86. It would be a fine gesture to help her image if she and Macy volunteered to do that after she's sprung.

Sorry, I meant CAVITY search....

Agree r94.

This is the handbook specific to the facility Felicity is in. Here are the rules about sun bathing. More like moon bathing depending on the time of year:

27. Sun bathing for FCI inmates will only be allowed on the sun decks. This will occur during weekend and holiday hours only. Unit sun decks will be open after the 4:00 p.m. count on Friday until Sunday at 8:30 p.m. Personal towels will be permitted on the sun decks. No sheets, pillows or blankets are allowed on the sun deck. Proper attire for sun bathing consists of a shirt and shorts, which must be worn properly.

God, they are SO MEAN!

Link to handbook. I need a nap.

I don't know why there are two. Maybe the one r1 posted is for general inmates, and this one is for the Felicity's of the world?

This sentence for a non crime is a farce, poor Felicity!

When we get to heaven, I wonder if we will be able to communicate not with historical figures like Washington and Lincoln, but the most beloved figures in the history of civilization like Princess Diana and JFK Jr?

R98 No, because there is not heaven. And what on earth has that got to do with Felicity Huffman going to jail.