The concept of family isn't relevant to me

This has been on my mind. As the holidays draw closer, well hell - every single waking hour of my life - the idea that "family is the most important thing" is a constant theme in this world. "I did it for my family" "I couldn't have done it without the support of my husband" etc. Every movie I see somehow comes down to the power of family. It could be couples with pets, babies, or anything. I don't have a family of my own. I live alone. I'm a solo type. The only family I have is my parents (and extended family, which I'm not talking about and we aren't really close). I don't have a partner (yes I want one), kids, or even super close friends - more like a lot of acquaintances.

I don't have a point really, but sometimes it's hard to keep going when I feel like a failure or lonely or alone and I am aging. I'm actually fairly fine being by myself but there are times it gets really difficult not to feel like shit.

by Anonymous

reply 2

October 11, 2019 7:05 PM

I get you, OP. I have two sisters and a brother, all younger than me. My sisters are married (one lives out of state) and my brother is single. Over the past ten years since our parents died, we have all gradually drifted apart - the one sister lives in FL with her husband and two teenage kids, so it's become more expensive and problematic for them to travel up here for holidays. My other sister is an angry psycho who has alienated the rest of us due to her mishandling of my alcoholic niece and her prolonged custody battle (she's losing it after they coughed up thousands of $) and doesn't speak to any of us because she's so bitter. My brother is a retired executive and is pretty wealthy - he lives in a nice suburb about 30 miles out of town. He's nice enough, and we're always welcome to use his pool, but he has his own circle of friends and their families that he clearly feels closer to now than he does to us.

I am a solo act too, but I pride myself on having all my own bases covered - financially, emotionally, socially - in every way. I am retired as well, no debt, house paid for, a small but tight circle of friends, including one longtime friend of 40 years who lives about 5 minutes away, and has been my go to person for small and medium needs, as I am to her. I have long term care insurance and am thankfully in pretty good health. The holidays were kind of tough for the first few years after my parents' deaths, but now they just seem like a giant hassle to me. I send my nieces and nephew hefty checks for holidays and their birthdays; otherwise it's basically an online/Facebook kind of relationship, and I have gradually become pretty okay with that.

I had relationships when I was younger, but I got over loneliness and "feeling like shit" a long time ago. It may sound self centered, but my first priority is myself, and I have done a good job, I think. So the concept of "family" isn't all that relevant to me either, but I am pretty okay with it.