Aliens are clearly draining cattle of their blood. Of course, your anal probing is next.

Vampires?

Nah...maybe some bored teenagers..

Zombies?

This clearly calls for a serious investigation.

Watch Midsommer and all will be revealed.

“He remembers his cow lying dead, her udder removed with something razor sharp.”

Brazen with udder contempt.

This never happens to happy cows from Cauliforneeuh.

I was traveling through time with my good friend and confidante, Dr. Julia Hoffman. In case anyone asks.

How many hikers who have gone missing have met this same fate, I wonder?

Just kidding, there's no such thing as aliens.

Why would aliens be able to travel at beyond the speed of light, an infathomably advanced tech to us — only to drain food animals of their blood? What’s in it for them?

_Um, cow blood? It’s delicious.

If they exist, why would they leave evidence behind? These are scared country folk.

For the busboy, r12. I’m not tipping for nothing. 👽

Do not be concerned, Earthicans. We are just conducting a perfectly normal and uninteresting administrative review. Your cows will be restored as soon as we conclude our process.

This sort of weirdness has been going on for 50 years. The first one to receive wide news coverage was "Snippy" the horse, and it creeped me out as a kid.

There are also some human cases.

Any new Senegalese restaurants opening in the area?

Free lipo

Drained of blood, yet no blood on the ground. This is not some bovine disease.

Skeptics speak as if 1,000-pound cows and cattle were 40-pound cats and dogs, to be easily wrangled and then mutilated.

A cow can be fooled by a trombone or barbershop quartet. By the end of the concert, you should be able to have all their blood in a big double-thick ziplock baggie.

Linda Moulton Howe did a thorough investigation of this in 1979 for a series on a local network affiliate at the time (I believe it was ABC). She was both producer and host. Then came her groundbreaking book entitled [italic] An Alien Harvest [/italic]. It's worth checking out for all who seriously would like to learn more about this phenomenon.

I'm no tinfoil hatter type, but this detail from the "Cattle Mutilation" Wiki article

[quote]In Rio Arriba County, New Mexico, June 1976, a "trail of suction cup-like impressions" was found leading from a mutilated three-year-old cow. The indentations were in a tripod form, 4 inches (10 cm) in diameter, 28 inches (70 cm) apart, and disappeared 500 feet (150 m) from the dead cow

creeps the ever-loving shit out of me. Especially the part about the imprints just disappearing... how do you explain that?

This honestly creeps me out. I find it far more credible than alien visitation or abduction. There are many documented stories over many years. Most of the farmers aren’t even believers in aliens. Maybe it’s government. Who knows.

To what end, R22?