Tired of traveling alone

That's what relationships are for, going through single is nice for some things, but it's going to put you in this situation where you have to do things alone.

Or hey, you can hire a whore to travel with you.

I agree x 1,000! I stopped travelling for pleasure because it got just too lonely. And you're absolutely right about not venturing in to many activities and restaurants when you are on your own. So, I only travel when a friend can travel with me or I'm invited to travel with a friend (rare because most have partners). I wish I could find a partner for a million reasons, but traveling together would be a bonus.

Also, I have the ability to travel on a big budget, so while I never let differences bother me, I would often like to travel more 'up-market' than my companions actually can.... but of course sharing theexperience together is really what its all about, so no complaints.

You're not really open to other cultures if you get lonely while traveling.

Yeah, R1 - I had a brief relationship with a guy & he was incredibly focused about the fact I had more money than him even though I couldn't care less. So, we settled on going to Chicago for 3 nights in the fall & he insisted on paying half. It was fun. I really didn't care that we were eating fast food 1/2 the time.

R2/3, thanks - glad you can relate. That's the big issue too. I'm not trying to be a princess by saying I'd rather stay in a well-reviewed city center hotel & eat at nice restaurants... but some people just are never going to do that. I just figure that if I can afford it, why not do it? It doesn't have to be the Four Seasons, but you know what I mean. I met a girl staying 45 minutes outside London a tour once - and she was fun to hang out with but it was nearly impossible to see her again.

I'd hire a whore but I don't even want sex out of them. Are there whores with personalities?

R4- I am in some ways. Some places (Ireland / Scotland) are more friendly / open to talking with tourists than others (Paris / Italy) I think. I'm not that extroverted though - I'll give you that.

Sorry I'm so long winded in these posts. I am truly trying to find a solution to this & have planned something starting October 17 - for now. If you want to go, R2/3, maybe we can work it out lol.

I'll go!

[Quote]I'd hire a whore but I don't even want sex out of them

Believe or not, people do sometimes hire escorts just to literally escort.

But yes, finding one that has a good head on their shoulders would be the hard part.

Some types of vacation are better suited to traveling alone than others, and IMHO trips centered around restaurants and cultural activities aren't much fun alone. I mean, I actually like to travel alone, but I hardly ever go to sit-down restaurants when I do.

I'm happy to do solo road trips, trips to the mountains, or long weekends in cities where I can do light sightseeing, shopping, and a bit of hiking solo, but I'm not doing Europe by myself. Museums are more fun when you have someone to snark with, another person can make language barriers and unfamiliar transport systems easier, restaurants are depressing without a companion, etc.

Just hire a rentboy to "carry your bags"

lol OP, I'm on a short leash with work and business trips for the next few months unfortunately

R10 = all of my friends and their "schedules" and "jobs"

Come on people. The PPTs and conference calls can wait. (j/k - I know I am in a different position these days but used to be a whore for a big 4)

OP, You need a partner, because with a partner you can plan, reason, cajole, pressure, and be an outright bitch about aligning your schedules to travel. Friends not so much.

Yeah, I agree... well, many years of Ok Cupid (etc) did not yield much unfortunately. That's a whole separate topic, but it's gone on the back burner for me. The dating scene is fairly unpleasant and depressing.

What OP and some of you could do is invite trips to places less fancy and agree to pay at least a large part (if not all) of their expenditures. However,

If you do this, there are two caveats:

1) You may not be able to afford the kind of places you would go on your own (so you may have to go to Montreal rtather than paris, and not stay at a top-of0-the-line hotel, but a three star one):

2) you have to remember the other person is not your slave. I once had a friend offer to fly me and put me up with him in Istanbul, but he was so bossy and controlling during the trip, even though i paid for my own meals and the house was free (he borrowed it from a friend of his), that the friendship was ruined by the trip. He really expected me to do everything he wanted every day for the cost of the plane flight.

OP, one thing you could think about doing is joining one of those tour groups that colleges offer alumnae or that organizations like the NYTimes or the Metropolitan Opera offer. I've been the tour leader on alumni tours before, and you can have a lot of fun.

OP, have you antagonized ALL your female friends? You stopped calling, didn’t you? Dumbass.

Go back through the hopeless cases, start giving good phone to the newly empty nests, and then find one ready to get the fuck out of Dodge for three weeks.

You work as one another’s wingman/chaperone for the trip.

This is not new and it is not difficult. You’re causing problems. I think I’d take up smoking just to torture you (if I didn’t smoke already)

And right on cue, in come the unhinged

Thanks - I agree tour groups are great. Rabbies in Scotland was the best. There were 4 solo travelers on a 3-day tour ... just lucked out with them & they were all nice. Another woman was older & had come from a 7-day Rick Steves tour she liked. I wasn't sure if I would like a Rick Steves tour but I haven't looked into it... who knows. I never knew alumni networks had travel things. Thanks for the tip. I have 2 schools I can use for alumni networks. Were they mostly couples though? I took a day tour in the Cotswolds from London and it was all couples / honeymoon types.

When I've been a faculty host for alumni tours (in England and Ireland), there were only one or two couples in the group each time.

You should be able to find some gay tour groups, though.

Maybe these would be fun? Found it on the Internet.

I'm usually a solo traveler too-- and it can get expensive, especially on cruises where they charge you double. I'd even pay for someone to go with me if I could find a compatible traveling companion.

Have done South Africa, Greek Isles, Tuscany with gay tour companies. Pleasant enough, well organized, they make sure you get to see what you should see, etc. Mixture of singles and couples. I find it a good way to start off a longer vacation by starting with the 7-10 day gay tour group, then continuing on on my own to wherever afterward.

Interesting... the r20 and Rick Steves are the lengthy kind (7-10 days). Rabbies is the 1-3 day kind, which I have liked a lot in the past - more freedom to an extent...since you just go back to your origin city and can do whatever you want then (so the trip is a mix of group / solo). The next Spain tour in R10 is in 9/2020 for 10 days for $5500 with a max size of 16 (includes hotels) Maybe I can see myself doing that but it's a year from now.

In all of my larger trips, I just stay 4-5 nights in one place and go to the next. Even the trip to Italy was Rome / Florence. Then there was a full day Tuscany tour with 3 towns leaving from Florence. At the time we hadn't even considered a large tour. I guess they're good if you want a deep dive. I sort of space out on all the historical talk after a certain point to be honest.

I’ll travel with you, OP!

I can understand. I usually have vacations with family that I pay for so they will come. Kinda sad but I have the financial means and want the company.

OP, how old are you?

I’m in my 30’s and going to Rome late next month for a week. I’m just used to traveling alone but it would be nice from time to time to talk to.

I just remind myself that one big plus of traveling alone is that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.

Come visit me in beautiful Darfur!

R26 - I'm 40. I don't even travel that much. Maybe once a year. This year more than usual.

[quote] I just remind myself that one big plus of traveling alone is that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.

Yeah that's the main advantage. The 3 trips I took with friends were mostly fine though... maybe a little too much time deciding where to eat, but that's better than having sandwiches from tesco every day.... though their sandwiches are not bad surprisingly.

Sebastian! What's the matter? Is Violet too old to - procure - for you?

I retired a year before my wife wanted to retire so I took a Flying Kiwi Adventure Tour through New Zealand and had a blast. There were mostly solo travelers and I made a lot of friends from all over. The tour itself was fantastic too.

What are your interests, OP?

For example, how about history tours?

Here is a link to some WWII tours.

Or Battlefield tours?

This company handles group tours for everything from Hadrian to William the Conqueror to the French and Indian War to the Revolutionary War the French Revolution to Waterloo to American Civil War to Custer to the Zulu War to Lawrence of Arabia to Gallipoli to D-Day to the Battle of the Bulge.

I mostly travel alone and sometimes meet up with friends and family. For me, perhaps because I'm used to traveling by myself, having someone else around gets old after about a week, and sometimes after a few days. I prefer to meet people along the way and perhaps enjoy a day together then part ways.

When I've been traveling with partners it has always, I mean always, turned into a stressful situation. Maybe I haven't met the right man.

No, absolutely no, to traveling with a group. I've done one-day tours and by the end of the day I'm done with it.

I can also say that even traveling with a friends can get kind of tiresome quickly. After being right next to each other for hours at the airport and then hours on the plane, there’s only so much left to talk about by the time you arrive at your destination. Of course, once you get to your destination you can “ooh” and “aah” together at all the new things your seeing, but even that can get old after a few days when you’re together every waking moment. Even worse if you share a room with them. By the end of the trip, I was so happy to be alone again.

I've travelled twice with acquaintances/friends and once with a group, which is why I prefer to travel alone. The premium/extra I may have to pay as a solo traveller is more than mitigated by the absence of feeling like a free travel guide. I'd love to be able to travel with people who bring something to the travel experience besides "ok, where do we go/what do we do?". Unfortunately, I have yet to meet them.

OP Me too. I'm done with traveling. I used to like going alone.

R31 - If I think back to my most fun trips... the things I remember the most are usually the food, people I've met, sometimes people I've hooked up with (this happened more when I was younger), the outdoors / scenery (Ireland & Scotland), Shows (more in NYC), Royal stuff including Jewels / Palaces, Architecture, and some War stuff is interesting like weapon technology & uniforms. On the other side of the coin, I do not like crowds (or crowded sites - which is a lot), churches, art, or the bar scene.

That list was purely retrospective. It's funny because I've gone to some places thinking about how interesting they'll be and leave wishing I just didn't waste all that time and the entry fees. This tends to be large museums and churches in particular . I keep doing it everywhere I go because it's one of those "everyone who comes here sees the..." things. But for me, a cold $2 meat pie from a convenience store , I'll remember forever (1 Glenurquhart Rd, Inverness Scotland).

[quote]I'd love to be able to travel with people who bring something to the travel experience besides "ok, where do we go/what do we do?". Unfortunately, I have yet to meet them.

Yeah, same with me... I actually spent a week looking into things before I left for Italy because I didn't want to waste a lot of time doing that while I was actually there. So I was a free tour guide too. My friend had no idea how much time went into looking up the major sites & hours they were open - and figuring out what could be combined into different days given the distance. It was not as simple as it sounds. I wish someone would do that for me on a trip and I could just follow along. The hooker option is possibly the best - one for each city.

We are never alone anywhere in the world because there are AA meetings everywhere in the world.

R38 I always do my "homework" before I go anywhere. I told the acquaintance I went with to northern Italy to do his homework before we went. Of course he didn't, spent 11 days not having a fucking clue about what he was seeing or doing, unless I told him.

Never spoke to him again after we got back.

I like travelling alone. The best balance I've found is to meet other people staying at the same place and have dinner together. Everyone has their own sightseeing plans during the day and then meets in the evening to talk about what they did.

The times I've traveled with someone, I found that I spent more time talking with them and less time noticing what was going on around me. Or there's that imbalance where one person (me!) has done the planning and the other person just follows along. That's only happened once, it's easy to avoid once you're aware of it.

This is independent traveling though, not tours, and low budget. I'm an introverted as a rule but traveling forces me to be more extroverted.

I spent 3 weeks in southern Italy last year and I did not really enjoy myself at all. It felt incredibly lonely and everyone around me was with family or a large group. I did not enjoy the great food bc I didn't really want to go to restaurants alone. I also stayed at some private accommodations and every single hosts asked me why I was travelling alone and not with a partner or family. Italians are very friendly and some invited me to their family dinners but language was a big problem and they also probably felt sorry for me with their huge families. This year I was travelling in Southeast Asia and there are typically more solo travellers or backpackers. I met a couple of people here and there for dinner/lunch but I still spent most of my time alone. They often have these huge night markets with so much different food and music but I really felt disconnected bc there was no one to share the experience with. I was planning to go to Barcelona and London/UK/Scotland this fall but I think I'm just not ready for another solo trip. Sunshine, beach, sightseeing, tapas bars all by myself- no thank you.

I feel you OP.

I travel a lot for work, often internationally, and try and take a few days on either side of the trip to do tourist things and I agree that it can get, if not lonely, then less than ideal for the reasons you mentioned, e.g., I'll wind up getting street food or something quick rather than a full meal because it's not that much fun to eat in a restaurant alone, at least not for several days in a row.

But recently I found what could be a solution for you too: Airbnb has a whole new "tour" division and they are mostly short single-activity events with a small group (say 4 to 8 people total). So, using Paris as an easy example, you could book a tour that goes to the Picasso museum and your guide will be a young art student who speaks English and knows all about Picasso, giving you insights a typical tour guide would not. Or there might be a 3 hour wine and cheese tour with a sommelier, a bike tour around Versailles, a cafê tour where the guide can tell you about the history of the various cafes, etc.

What's great about them is that most are just two or three hours, so it's not like you're giving up your whole day, but it's a chance to meet and talk to other people and not feel quite so alone, and also to experience things you might not experience on your own. The people on the ones I've done have generally been very interesting and of all ages too.

Worth checking out-- they're called "Airbnb Experiences"

OP I feel you. I love to travel but the bf is pretty much a homebody, and when I've asked friends to travel with me either they're not interested or we can't coordinate our schedules. So I end up traveling alone.

My other issue with travel is, as much as I love it, I make very little money and can't afford to travel nearly as often as I like. I manage an overseas trip once every 3 or 4 years and that is it. But if I had the resources I'd travel every year.

I would *love* to be someone's travel companion, if they would pay expenses. I am cultured, well-educated, and a good conversationalist. I always do a lot reading about the place I'm visiting. I'm also a great researcher and planner and I'd be happy to take over the task of planning the itinerary.

I'd be happy to offer my services as a travel companion to anyone who would pay my way. If only I could find a sugar daddy/sugar mama willing to do so!

r44 Sold! How do I find you?

OP, I spent the last 25 years traveling for business to Europe. Usually 2-3 cities per trip, 2 weeks each, 5-6 trips a year. I saw some amazing places but traveling solo was lonely. (It also took its toll on my LTR since my ex couldn't travel due to his own career.) It took me a few years to get over my reluctance to go to dinner alone at decent restaurants or go sightseeing alone, but looking back I'm glad I did.

I recently retired and want to travel more. But I'm single and most of my friends are 10+ years younger and still working, so I'm facing the same challenges you mention. (The "be in a relationship" advice, while well-meaning, is easier said that done.)

I have a friend, a married woman, whose husband can't handle adventurous travel anymore. She's an ex-travel agent and looks for friends to accompany her on these off-beat excursions like a street food tour in Vietnam or an African safari. But these trips, while incredible, are infrequent. Like you I am always looking for other acquaintances who have the time and resources to travel as I do. So a big thanks to everyone upstream who posted their suggestions. I plan to check them out. (And avoid the group tours and cruises.)

I think our common predicament - the time and resources for leisure activities but no one to do them with - will be less uncommon as the next generation (gay or straight) ages.

Linking a recent WSJ article about solo dining.

OP, interestingly enough, I was just thinking about this the other day.

I’d like to buddy up with someone as well, for traveling adventures- no sex, & I’d prefer to travel with a guy, because I’d feel safer, & it’s easier, quite frankly. Even though I’m a woman, and enjoy getting dolled up for dinner in a beautiful city, it’s not something I tend to focus on when I travel. Lipgloss, a sundress & a ponytail -a look that still works almost anywhere. I don’t want to spend 2 hours waiting for a girlfriend to perfect her hair & makeup, just so that I can snap endless pics of her in a hotel lobby, or standing near a fountain, or posing next to a work of art in a museum. If anyone thinks this is exclusive to 20-30 somethings, think again. People in their 40s are obsessed with instagramming their every waking moments, too. I just can’t travel with that kind of social media activity. It ruins a simple night out at a concert, here at home, so no way do I want that as part of a travel experience where time is limited.

And at this stage, I’ve had some decent vacation flings, so I’m not focused on this particular aspect of traveling. My straight, divorced, single mom girlfriends are all about that, which is fine, but it’s why we’re not traveling together.

Finding a gay travel buddy would be ideal. Or a lesbian. No whores, no Snapchat, no IG.

I love to travel by myself.

I can go where I want, do what I want, eat and sleep when I want, and fuck whom I want.

I’ve only met one really good travel partner in my life, and he up and died on me. So now I’m happy on my own.

Are there any LGBT travel message boards where single travelers can connect for companionship not sex?

If your travel plans include the words “first class cabin” and “Mandarin Oriental”, give me a call OP!

I love eating in restaurants alone.

What's so bothersome about it? Are you women in the 1950s?

I can only travel alone. I tried doing it with others - including partner - but realize I love being alone so I can absorb things and see and do what I want. Weird how different people are. Keep thinking it will change as I get older but accepting I’m just different in loving being alone.

R52 I’m a complete “introvert” but even I enjoy having someone to travel with. Doesn’t it piss you off having to pay for 1.5x or full price for hotels?

Yeah, I’ve traveled alone tons, and companionship isn’t bad either. I’m tired of being alone. Would be nice to meet my adult, mature, love match, but the herd is THIN, boys. So a good travel buddy with no sex is not a bad option when you’re tired of being alone. Probably better than traveling with a lover. No fights, no drama.

No surprise that the misanthropes of DL can't abide to have to think of anything else but their own agenda when they travel. Little surprise you find yourself at MacDonald's on a summery Saturday night in Paris trying to decide if you should cut your trip short and go home.

I swear half the things people post as problems here, have solutions if you just google it.

Trip Advisor has a forum for finding gay travel buddies.

Not sure why you would want a stranger as a full time "travel buddy" rather than just a way to interact with people for a couple of hours a day.

Traveling with friends/family/significant others is tough enough.

There's all kinds of eating in restaurants alone R51.

I find when I am alone on a business trip I'll gravitate to someplace where dinner is faster--a cafe, a sushi bar, an ethnic restaurant--rather than a nice restaurant-- part of the appeal of a drawn out dinner to me is the conversation, the ability to catch up with friends.

I'm not a big eater either, so I'll often do a big breakfast, a snack for lunch and then dinner, especially if I'm on the move a lot.

OP sounds old.

OP - Back in the Edith Wharton days, they used "travelling companions." Essentially, someone accompanied you on an extended trip. Either you paid all their expenses OR paid them a salary + expenses. Depending how much trouble you were.

I was thinking about how in my student days, the traveling-after-junior-year-abroad thing, that a lot of times you'd run into someone traveling solo at a hostel or internet cafe or even on the train and you'd adopt each other for however long you were going to be in that particular city, either all of you sharing a hotel room or getting rooms in the same place and you'd hang for the week and then they'd move on to Berlin and you'd move on to Amsterdam with vague plans to reconnect at some point.

I wonder if there could be a system like that for gays now or even for older travelers, a way to make those connections happen.

Or maybe that's just the sort of thing you do when you're 21 and trust everyone.

"I wonder if there could be a system like that for gays now or even for older travelers, a way to make those connections happen. Or maybe that's just the sort of thing you do when you're 21 and trust everyone. "

That sort of thing is so much more difficult with adults who are set in their ways! When you're young and broke you go into these temporary friendships with the base assumption that everything you're going to pinch every penny and do inadvisable things together, which eliminates a lot of the arguments that traveling adults have. That's why adults only tend to share rooms if they're fucking, there's an incentive to put up another person's shit.

[Quote] I wonder if there could be a system like that for gays now or even for older travelers, a way to make those connections happen. Or maybe that's just the sort of thing you do when you're 21 and trust everyone.

Most hostels have an age limit so yes, traveling this way and meeting other people in hostels is only for younger folks usually in their 20s or early 30s.

I think I'd rather just travel by myself and choose destinations that are more comfortable for solo travelers.

I traveled with a friend who was not an early riser (neither am I). During the trip, I would leave the hotel early-ish, buy coffee and a pastry/fruit (for both of us), and bring it back to the hotel room. At some point, my friend started bitching about my selections. Friend also got grouchier as time elapsed, but would be cheerful to strangers. We're still friends but I would not ever want to travel together again.

I follow this guy on Instagram... that's all I got.

[quote]I wonder if there could be a system like that for gays now or even for older travelers, a way to make those connections happen.

I thought that was Scruff.

[quote]OP - Back in the Edith Wharton days, they used "travelling companions." Essentially, someone accompanied you on an extended trip. Either you paid all their expenses OR paid them a salary + expenses. Depending how much trouble you were.

Now they're known as "rentboys."

r43 - that's interesting... I never knew that existed & it's really low-commitment in case it's bad. The 7-10 day tours are such a gamble with the cost & length of time.

So what ever happened to "traveling companions" ? Did they go the way of "the walker" ? Both still seem to be win-win situations but I guess not.

Sometimes when I travel I’ll suddenly get lonely in my hotel room and I’ll think of the Sheena Easton song “Calm Before The Storm.”

Perhaps through a mood disorder support group...

Darling, you are suppose to hang out with the locals, or at least the fellow travelers. Sign up for a wine tasting, cooking or language class to meet others. You are basically hiring a local to hang out with you. Take your teacher out to dinner, a cultural event or an excursion. This is how it is done.

R71 - I've done some of that over the years. I've even met guys online just to hang out (very hard to do now). On my last trip, my tour guide in Scotland was the nicest person in the world & so the 2 of us single travelers took her out to dinner. So, yeah, that stuff can cover some time - but it's really hit or miss. The AirBnB suggestion way above might facilitate this, and it's something I've never heard of. (R43)

I've never stayed in a city more than 5 nights, so the long tours aren't the best for me. I've had a few easygoing people go on trips with me over the years, and even my one friend from grad school who I sometimes argue with was fine. We did our separate things 1/2 the time since he was more outdoorsy and it was Sedona. It actually worked well bc I hated driving to/from Phoenix mountains and the 100 roundabouts in that city, but he didn't care.

I've been piecing together a big trip - and part of this "alone" thing becomes more salient in places like Paris, for example. I wouldn't care if it was New York or Chicago. Or, what if I wanted to go to the South of France for 2 nights just to see the coast and try the food... by myself? Surrounded by straight honeymooners? Ehhh... so do I just say no to that or figure out some other way to do it that won't feel like a weirdo.

I forgot to mention I've met a couple of Australians who take very long trips to Europe alone. It seems to be a pretty normal thing for them.

OP, is it that you’re tired of traveling alone because you get lonely, or because you’re worried about what other people think of you because you travel alone? Because they are two different things. It sounds like you’re more worried what people think because you keep talking about not wanting to look like a weirdo (which is ridiculous). 99% aren’t even going to think about why you’re alone.

Sounds like a bunch of you are worried about what people think.

After travelling solo for work, I learned to travel for pleasure solo. Given that I am 45, everyone in my life (including my partner) has a ton of commitments and getting everyone to agree to a mutually acceptable schedule is close to impossible. The only trips we can take together are predictable road trips or hour flights that only take a weekend commitment to the same predictable roadtrip or hour flight destinations all Californians go to (or Vegas). Guess what, everyone else in California (and NV, AZ, UT, HI, TX, etc.) have the same idea.

I know quite a few professionals who have taken to solo travel at least once a year, both partnered and single. Their trips also involve deeper travel that involve getting to know more about a destination than the same predictable museums, churches, and tourist traps all the fraus and Chinese tour buses frequent. Like me, they seem to have a true connection to their destinations.

As for eating alone, goodness it is 2019... almost 2020. Everyone is glued to their phone so half of the people at any given establishment won't notice you. Bring yours along and forget about what people who aren't thinking about you think about you.

Also, you can modify your schedule to eat at less "social times" - i.e., dinner at 6-7 vs 8-9. Or lunch at 2 instead of 12. Sure it requires some modification, but not much. I travel to Spain and Latin America a lot because I speak the language and love the cultures (and men...) and those people are very pack animal-like. They don't do anything alone. Must have group of 8 or more.

I just avoid peak meal times, not so much because I feel lonely or weird, but because it is awkward to save a whole table for 1 when they are designed for 6 or more who will likely show. Plus, service tends to take longer.

Nothing like traveling on your own time and your own schedule.

[quote] The AirBnB suggestion way above might facilitate this, and it's something I've never heard of. ([R43])

Glad I could help OP

There are a lot of great options on that and they are all relatively inexpensive too.

R73 - it's both to be honest... but it is actually less about others' perceptions. I traveled for work with a consulting firm for many many years...and I was alone on a lot of projects, though I sometimes had to go to the "team dinner" -- in those cases I preferred being alone, but it's also cuz I was around those people for 60 hours a week already. I never cared about anyone seeing me eating by myself in any of those locations. Usually they were in the middle of some corporate park in NJ or NoVA - so a lot of people were alone anyway.

My comment about the South of France and people being on their Honeymoon while I'm trying to eat a croissant is just that it's a reminder of my own dissatisfaction with my lack of friends/S.O. Well, I guess I have friends- just none with compatible schedules.

I talked w/ a friend of mine who made a reservation in a 2 Michelin star restaurant for his November trip to Paris - solo. They said they didn't do parties of one, and he argued with them and made them take his reservation lol. I wish I had that personality. He travels alone almost exclusively. I called him to get his thoughts on some cities & which are better solo - but he can do anything alone. My brother was that way too before he was married. They are the type who are also cramming 50 things into a 5 day trip and don't want another person holding them back...so that's part of it. I like to relax a little more and chat with a friend on the trip with me. It just makes it a better experience, generally.

OP the destinations you mentioned are all gay meccas.

Try Mister BnB. I’ve used them several times (including Barcelona several times). Read profiles and reviews to find hosts who seem open to perhaps a dinner or two or a night out for drinks. Be direct and ask them in advance if they wouldn’t mind doling you the courtesy of socializing with them part of time.

It will be apparent whose personalities are engaging and welcoming to these outings. Reviews will also confirm the same. Sure some will be twinks, muscle marys, or just plain sex hounds. Welcome to the gay world.

The accommodations are almost always in gayborhoods full of life and tons of things to do and see. You may find yourself lacking time to do and see them.

You may also just get the companionship you seek without having to hire anyone.

I m totally opposite of Op. I got tired of having a travel buddy .i now travel alone and loving it. I can do anything -and anyone - I fancy 😜

same here, r78.

There’s nothing worse than traveling in a large group, especially family. It’s hell on earth catering to everyone’s needs. Going solo sounds like heaven.

R80 I agree. It's funny the poster who spoke about his Italian experience struck a nerve with me. Many parts of the world are very family oriented still and that also tends to create a need to stick with your clique. Italy is this way.

Yes, at first you do feel alone. It's human nature to recognize you are solo and the table over is 10 people.

Then, you stop and think, "goodness remember the last time you were with your family of 10 on that horrible trip where you had to do what so and so wanted and so and so got on your nerves and so and so was being a jerk. And it cost you $2,500 and week's vacation."

I look over that table and I see the domineering mom, the son who's a momma's boy, the daughter in law whose seething with resentment at her mother in law but faking a smile, etc. etc. etc. Then I realize how loud and obnoxious they are talking about the same minute details of their life that would bore me to tears.

I don't think the problem is solo travel OP, I think it's your solo lifestyle. Fix your home life so you can enjoy your travel life.

No way should a self-respecting gay man feel alone in Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris, Madrid or Barcelona.

Note: I'd avoid Madrid or Barcelona if you can't resolve your issues. Spaniards are very clan-oriented and clicky.

^ Excuse my grammar and typos. New iPhone11Max here and it's still too small to type properly.

Interesting. I did my European tour 28 years ago alone because everyone bailed or disqualified themselves. As I traveled around by train I always found someone to chat with and compare notes with on the train.

My problems eating alone were in Italy, Germany and Austria where I couldn't get seated alone. I am a woman. Ended up eating from shops and fast food. McVienerschnitzel! No problem any where else.

Dear Maiden Brigade Aunt,

No one wants to hear about your travels 3 decades ago. The world has changed. Did you even have cell phones and the internet back then?

Only post-Communism experiences please.

Heh, My posting name is from an ex-boss who died in the past year. A grand old dame from NC who was given a family name as her christian name and then spent the rest of her life explaining on the phone that she was a woman and yes that Douglas really was her name. She was first person I ever saw referred to as Miss, in that old southern way.

I have decided to keep her alive on-line.

[Quote] Then, you stop and think, "goodness remember the last time you were with your family of 10 on that horrible trip where you had to do what so and so wanted and so and so got on your nerves and so and so was being a jerk.

It's too bad you guys only had bad experiences with family vacations and dinners. I only have fond memories of community, love and security.

Eating alone at a table in a restaurant never bothered me. Along with what's already been pointed out - that nobody is paying atttention to me - I'm a voracious reader.

As long as a I have a newspaper, magazine, or a book, and now, unfortunately my cell phone, eating alone is just fine with me. I'll admit it, though. Without those things, it's possible I would feel a bit self-conscious.

I'd love to be a paid travel companion.