Famous Bitchy Quotes And/Or Comebacks

Dick Cavett to Janis Joplin, on the air Summer 1970: "I hear you tore a muscle near Maryland." Janis's reply, "It was closer to home than that, baby." She died 49 years ago today.

Daithí Ó Sé, the host of Ireland's Rose of Tralee contest (don't call it a beauty pageant) asked a contestant how long she'd been with her boyfriend.

She answered, "Twelve years."

His retort: "You only get seven for manslaughter."

Winston Churchill, having been criticized for ending a sentence with a preposition, described the criticism as "the type of errant pedantry up with which I will not put."

Likewise Churchillian, Lady Astor once said to him, "If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea."

Churchill's reply? "If you were my wife, "I'd drink it."

I suppose I could have stayed home , baked Cookies and had Teas .

I really resented Hillary when she added Clinton, dropping Rodham as the last name she'd kept for so long. That compromise was the beginning of her slide.

Bette Midler talking about Princess Anne:

She loves nature, despite what it did to her.

Larry 'Bud' Melman to Letterman when asked if he'd had a facelift: "Yes. Why don't you get one too? "

Outraged female to John Barrymore, drunk and peeing in the Lady's Room: "How Dare you! This is for the ladies!"

Drunk John Barrymore, with dick in hand, to outraged female: "And so, Madame, is this."

Dan Quayle said he was going to be "a pit bull" in the 1992 campaign against Clinton and Gore.

Bill Clinton said "That's got every fire hydrant in America worried."

Online boast: "My dick is so big it goes from A to Z"

Retort: "Look at your keyboard."

I'd wring her neck if she had one. Who said that about whom?

Bette Davis regarding Dame Crawford :

" I wouldn't sit on her toilet seat "

" Joan Crawford has had every male Star at MGM except Lassie."

"My GOD Joan this is Baton Rouge NOT Beverly Hills. "

" My Mother said never speak I'll of the dead " Joan is dead "Good "

[quote] I'd wring her neck if she had one. Who said that about whom?

I think it was about Claudette Colbert. I don’t remember who said it.

Yes it was about Claudette. Thanks r14. I googled. It was Noel Coward who said it.

Speaking of Noel Coward - When he bumped in to his old friend, the novelist Edna Ferber, she was wearing one of her tailored suits.

Coward looked her over and said, "Edna, you almost look like a man."

Ferber looked Coward up and down and said, "So do you"

Hate that it happened but really quite incredible.

Anita Bryant after she gets smashed in the face with a pie by a gay activist: "at least it was a fruit pie".

Milton Berle to RuPaul at the 1993 MTV VMAs: "You know, I used to wear dresses."

RuPaul: "And now you wear diapers."

May be apocryphal, but...A woman held the door open for Dorothy Parker at a party, saying “Age before beauty.” Parker retorted “Pearls before swine” and breezed through.

Not rely a bitchy comeback but funny - although I can't do funny. Noel Coward used to take testosterone shots taken from goat testicles. Somerset Maugham had him over for dinner and not knowing this commented, "Noel you are as sprightly as a goat these days!