Let’s Be The Shining (1980)

I am Tony.

I’m the Datalounger caught in the act with my fit-fat Blatino Husbear™.

I'm the Playgirl magazine casually on display in the lobby of a fancy hotel that is just waiting to be read before a big interview.

Nothing screams impressing a potential boss quite like thumbing through the pages of a male nudie mag.

I am terrified.

I'm visual symmetry!

I’m the Steadicam! I was used to create a number of iconic shots.

I'm Stanley Kubrick. We WILL do this scene another 97 times until it's what I envision, or die trying.

I'm her.

Side note: Until fairly recently, I had only seen versions of The Shining that were edited for television. For a long time I never knew that the original film contains full-frontal female nudity.

Oh, and as a gayling I was absolutely enamored with that bathroom (that robin's egg blue, the alcove bathtub, and tiled floor! The two shitters side-by-side is a little odd, though).

I'm brooding Jack Nicholson. x

I am a dull boy.

I am a dull boy.

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I'm the window in Ullman's office.

I'm the Apollo 11 sweater that helps support 1,000 conspiracy theories.

R11, I a am an adult boy.

I’m Danny’s incest-created PTSD.

I am the movie The Shining.

I'm the little boy who lives in the kid's mouth whose presence is never really explained.

R16 I’m the theory that Jack sexually abuses Danny as well as physically that kind of explains Tony.

R9 isn't that a bidet?

I'm Stephen King. I hated the Kubrick version, so I vow to make my own, twenty years later, for network TV!

I’m two dozen of pork roasts.

I'm the black velvet painting of the bodacious naked negro lady above Scatman's bed.

I'm Futura. Normally so mundane as to be invisible, suddenly faintly creepy.

R9 the second "shitter" is a bidet... you phillistine!

I'm the archetypal "Magic Negro." And I should be cut from the movie now, for being a racist stereotype.

I am the Overlook hotel.

I am haunted!

I am very scary!

I'm twenty feet of snow!

I'm the typewriter. Who knew that in little more than a decade, my kind would cease to exist.

I'm Lloyd the bartender.

R28-Your money's no good here, Mr. Torrence!

I'm the little window in the bathroom that Wendy can't fit through.

I’m the cocaine powder invisibly rimming Jack Nicholson’s nostrils throughout the movie.

I'm the front door. Shut me already! It's cold out!

I'm the TV that's not plugged in but is still working.

I’m Stanley Kubrick’s cult-member sister. If you think the Overlook hotel is spooky, come spend a day with me...

I’m the “fatherly love” scene in which Jack molests Danny and then chokes him, which is why he has the bruises on his neck later.

R35-that's a horrific scene. The dissociative state Danny's in while sucking his thumb after is heartbreaking.

I’m the animatronic talking donkey that was constructed at great expense to the studio and then famously was left on the cutting-room floor.

I'm the basement dwelling incels who think they're such high cinephiles for liking Stanley Kubrick. We sympathize with the character of Jack.

I'm Wendy's dogeared copy of Catcher in the Rye, the only sign of her inner life.

I’m Dinah Manoff at R1

I’m Steven Weber. So glad that seven seasons of “Wings” prepared me to take on the role that Jack Nicholson made iconic!