Christina Tosi and her bad desserts

An abomination.

FrauFood

the fuck?

A corn and blueberry sheetcake. Really?

That is some Sandra Lee-level shit.

Chef's Table is suppose to highlight sophisticated cuisine. Who did she pay off to get an episode?

[quote]When did these childish, over the top desserts become the norm?

When quantity and sugar became the ONLY requirements.

Good Housekeeping recipes that once served 4-6 people are now show as serving 2-4. Is it any wonder that a mountain of sugar passes for dessert?

I came to make a contrarian comment but the photos of the actual desserts left me speechless. They look disgusting.

Those are great... for kids.

Milk Bar is gross and I’ve often wondered if people pretended to like the sickly sweet confections more than they did because the place was such a thing.

R10, some of their desserts look like Baskin Robbins.

So, she's like the Hildi of baking.

They are all disgusting. The “dessert” in R1 looks like Jabba the Hutt in food form.

Even kids have enough taste to reject crackers or corn in a dessert.

R8 Spot on... as they look perfectly awful. F for presentation. These combinations are just wrong IMHO. It's strange what passes for even a good dessert today. I'd rather prefer a hastily made trifle with even one of the dreaded phosphate laden custard powders to this stuff.

I should've added, even a tinned treacle cake would be better than these.

What exactly is the R1 photo? Ritz-studded ambrosia?

R17 Slop on a cracker!

R12 now she’ll come up with something that looks like a tortured box mix, but with “straw” stuck all over.

Has anyone tried milk bar? Is it actually any good? It’s been on my bucket list for years but I’ve never gotten around to it

I have R20. Some of it's okay, but only okay. Some of it's too sweet and bland. Really underwhelming.

I actually like her personality.. or what I've seen of it on MasterChef Jr. (she is or was a judge). It's actually the perfect role for her because her desserts are perfect for kids.

And, Wilford Brimley, wept....seriously, diabetes overload. And it looks like a 3rd grader threw it together.

Oh come on now. You fat whores would totally eat this!

Or her famous crack pie.

Actually corn based cakes are actually pretty big in MesoAmerican countries where I live. And if done right are pretty delicious.

She's a fan of too much frosting and sprinkles.

Twenty-seven posts in and no one has mentioned the abomination that is strained cereal milk? Worse, they sell a tiny bottle of crushed cornflakes with a little sugar thrown in so that you can make your own at home. Because, you know, you never would have been able to figure it out in your own.

Also, In the wake of Soleil Ho’s outrage over the use of “crack” and “addictive” in reference to food, the pie at r25 is now called Milk Bar Pie.

R28, yuck!

A friend and I tried Milk Bar a few months ago just to see what the fuss was about, and it was every bit as disgusting as you would imagine. Cloyingly sweet, nasty shit that no one over age 6 should enjoy.

Calories upon calories.

Some of this just looks way too sweet.

I have made Totsi’s Black Sesame Crock Pot Cake. I’m a skilled baker, but the recipe was a total failure...sickening sweet and one dimensional.

And Totsi was incorrect in her baking notes: blacks sesame PASTE is not interchangeable with black sesame TAHINI.

I’m going to try making the Crack Pie, but if that’s a failure too, I’m reselling her books at the local used book store.

Oh, for corn's sake that looks like crap!

OP types fat

OP needs his serious, stern, understated deserts.

I kinda hope this Tosi woman dumps a huge vat of whipped cream over OP and then decorates him with frosting and sprinkles.

It looks good to me.

The problem is when stuff like this is marketed as for adults. It’s like food has developed Peter Pan syndrome.

She should change her brand name to Forever 12

Cornflake marshmallow cookies. Yummers!

The cake in the first pic looks DELICIOUS.

I bet OP only eats those froufrou cakes with gold leaf

R42 that cake looks like shit too! I bet you eat twinkies and ding dongs by the mouthful

Yeah, dongs and twinkies for sure, R43 lol

What the hell is this?

Does she make cronuts and fluffy Japanese pancakes?

[quote] Some of this just looks way too sweet.

It is r32, and what's really gross it that that seemingly innocuous vanilla-looking soft serve is actually some wretched "cereal milk" flavor.

I remember back in the 90s when Jerry Seinfeld started talking about ‘cereal milk’ in his act and how much better it was than regular milk and people thought it was hilarious. It was a joke.

Now cereal milk is an actual product that people pay money for. FML, I’m old.

I know of Milk Bar as JetBlue caters their cookies in first class (Mint). Usually very sweet.

"Rat Pudding, Rat Cake and Strawberry Tart!"

"Strawberry Tart?"

"Well . . . it's got SOME rat in it."

Her pastries look like they taste horrible and they're all clumsily put together. The chocolate cake shit-pile looks like something a 6 year old threw together with her drunk stepdad to "impress mom".

This cereal milk sounds awful.

[quote]A corn and blueberry sheetcake. Really?

Sheet cake? When did I eat sheet cake?

Speaking of Ritz crackers -- I saw these on Molly Yeh's Food Network show and they looked pretty good. I'll bet the miso adds an interesting flavor. I've also seen miso added to chocolate chip cookie dough.

The evil culprit.

She's making a mint so people must think her stuff tastes good.

Shrugs

This is what OP wants to do to Christina.

Of all the things, this is what bothers you, OP?

It's not just Christina. These awful desserts are pushed everywhere, especially on Food Network and recipe websites. Rachael Ray, Sandra Lee, and the pioneer woman are big offenders as well.

Milk Bar is proof that New Yorkers will fall for anything.

She warned the employees not to let the C-word slip [italic]then,[/italic] so she wouldn’t have to fire them [italic]now.[/italic]

[quote]When we do anything, from implementing a new company policy to creating a new layer cake, we do it because it’s important to us. Our mission, after all, is to spread joy and inspire celebration. The name Crack Pie falls short of this mission.

[quote]That’s why starting today, Crack Pie will now be Milk Bar Pie.

[quote]Why Milk Bar Pie? It’s simple, so we’ve decided to keep it simple. It’s been on the Milk Bar menu since day one. And, the old name was getting in the way of letting the gooey, buttery slice bring happiness— my only goal in creating the thing in the first place.

[quote]I understand a new name will take some getting used to. The next few days, weeks and maybe months will be a transition, but it’s all worth it. Your managers will be in touch with next steps. If you’d like to talk to me directly about the change, don’t hesitate to reach out. I am here for you.

R61, that's silly. I don't see any big deal over the old name? Is it because of kids?

"And when shugry(sp) treats shall lay with another in abundance so it shall be an abomination." Little Debbie 3:16

Are those garbonzo beans on the top of OP’s picture?

Perfect food for the flyover Walmart crowd.

R62, it started with this, then Twitter and Tumblr piled on:

[quote]In addition to being overly dramatic, it seems really callous to write that a bowl of bean dip is “like crack.” No matter how delicious something might be, its effect on me is nothing close to what crack does to people and their families. It’s supposed to be funny and edgy to compare a gourmet cupcake to crack because of how far the chi-chi bakery I’m standing in is from the kind of community that has historically been devastated by the crack epidemic. The ignorance is the joke.

[quote]One interesting example of its persistence is in the way we talk about Momofuku Milk Bar’s “Crack Pie.” Writers have called its creator, chef Christina Tosi, a “crack dealer” and used the language of addiction to describe the dish. Honestly, the company should have done the right thing and changed it by now.

I've only had the crack pie, and it's good. I would probably make it, except the recipe seems stupidly complicated.

As for the name, eh, whatever. I don't care what things are called at all, and I do care about how people feel, so I'm willing to humour people if it makes them feel better. No skin off my back.

She's the Thomas Kinkade of the pastry world.

I suppose we'll have to change the name of pot pie next.

Any relation?

"Mommy, I want some crack pie!"

Frau threat level at R55: Red Alert!!!

Woah, the misogyny in this thread is OFF. THE. CHARTS.

Relax, cupcake, we're just talking about cupcakes here..

Fuck off, sugarballs :)

R73 = fat frau

As soon I hear the word “misogyny”, I know that the speaker deserves to be written off as a smug, self righteous, fat cunt, like r73

[quote]"Mommy, I want some crack pie!"

And what you be wanting to eat?

Her food is shit

Her desserts in a nutshell.

She's like one of those hipster chefs who take White trash food and repackage it as hipster food for the pretentious class. Her recipes are shit, the only her desserts are all way too sweet and one-note.

She seems overly fond of trifles.

Milk Bar looks ridiculous.

Using Polenta (ground corn/maize) in cakes/desserts is neither ground breaking or new. Pretty much all European cuisines make some form of them and have done for hundreds of years.

Most of them taste pretty good.

It's cake abuse. I read one of her books, thinking I was going to learn something. All I found was stuff I would never do to a cake. Never.

Forget her use of corn in desserts -- she looks like she would sprinkle [italic]candy corn[/italic] into her expensive confections.

That’s exactly what she is, r81. I bought a couple of her books when they were $1.99 on Kindle and she has recipes for slow-cooker meatballs cooked in Heinz chili sauce and jelly, stuff wrapped in refrigerated biscuit dough from a tube, and something called Ritz Cracker Ice Box Cake. These are the ingredients, in full:

1 1/2 cups grape jelly

2 (8 ounce) containers Cool Whip

1 (11.3 ounce) box Ritz crackers

The Crack pie is VERY good. Rich, but good. Its basically just a Chess Pie I think? Or Gooey Butter Cake.

I ordered the confetti cake for a birthday once. It was HORRIBLE. Tasteless. I thought it would be okay because the frosting is cream cheese based. I was wrong.

Cakes that only a opioid addict could enjoy.

R87 that sounds vile!

Is he last name pronounced like it's spelled or is it supposed to be Toshi?

It looks as vile as it sounds, r90.

R92 Why would you do that to a perfectly good Ritz cracker?

None of that shit tastes as good as a perfectly ripe pear.

Now that I’m older, I get it. Fruit and cheese for dessert? Yes.

R88, most “cream cheese frosting” is basically salted buttercream. I only like my homemade version.