Have You Ever Had Any Sexual Activity with a Poz Person?

I hope not, I avoid them like the plague.

My partner of ten years is poz, and we have a very hot, very active sex life. He's undetectable and I'm not on PreP, and while we do practice safer sex, we're not fanatic about it. It's really not the big deal so many here make it out to be.

Knowingly never,but Im sure in my wild days I must have.How I didnt get aids will forever be a mystery to me(and most of my friends!).

Some studies have shown that over 50% of gay men are poz in some of the bigger cities (NY, SF, LA).

OP's next thread: [bold]Have You Ever Had Any Sexual Activity with a Colored?[/bold]

Nope. Only had sex with two males (once with each) and five females. None of them with HIV or STDs

If I did, I didn’t know. I’m a big believer in safe sex, & testing 2x/year.

My husband is HIV+. We're married now and it's almost our 3rd wedding anniversary. He was diagnosed AFTER we were dating (was winging it like most and claiming negative when he didn't know his status) but prior to our marriage. I'm still neg.

When I was younger I would freak out about HIV and would NEVER choose to sleep with someone HIV+. I probably would have not dated my now husband if I knew his status beforehand. That would have been a huge, huge loss for me.

Nice, r8.

No way

I'm sure many people have, OP. Either we have a natural immunity to the disease- or we just got lucky.

I'm sure it's possible I might have, but I've always practiced safe sex, so I'm negative.

Well, if receiving a blow job is sex, then I did. And this was well over 15 years ago when people weren't on Prep. Met online, we met out and it felt like it took all the courage this very nice, handsome man had to tell me he was poz. It seemed he was completely ostracized by anyone he met once they found out he was poz. I knew enough about HIV transmission and receiving oral from a poz person was very low risk. So I let him give me a blow job and he jerked off. I think we both enjoyed the sexual connection. I will be honest, the next day I thought I may have taken an unnecessary risk and got a little freaked out. I continued to sometimes see him at the gym, but no relationship ensued.

R13, did you suck him?

Isn’t the risk of blowing a poz person next to none? I always thought saliva really killed a lot of the virus and that the mouth isn’t a very good host unlike the ass of vagina with the mucus membranes.

Y’all sure are willing to play Russian roulette with your lives.

Loosen up, R16. I let him felch his spicy load out afterward 🙄

My ex is positive, and very likely was when we were still together. I always used condoms to fuck him, though I did however blow him without a condom, and let him munch my bum. I'm lucky I suppose, as I swallowed too many of his loads to even count over three years.

I’m on PreP. At 53, most If not all of my sexual partners are poz. On my profile I state that I am open to poz guys and I get a huge response. I figure now that I’m a little older and I can’t get the “clean” guys anymore, as long as I’m on PreP and my sexual partners are taking their meds, I have virtually zero chance of catching it.

Every weekend!

R5 No. Have you ever fucked an Irishman who didn't have whisky dick and wasn't a charter member of the teeny weeny peeny committee?

I’m Irish and I have an 8 inch thick cock with red pubes and a viagra prescription. No complaints here.

[quote]I’m a little older and I can’t get the “clean” guys anymore

I'm having trouble unpacking this. Are most guys 50+ supposed to be positive? Or is R19 so decrepit at 53 that no one but the allegedly desperate is interested in him?

You can have perfectly safe unprotected sex with a person who is HIV+ if they are on their meds and test with no viral load. This is 99.9% of people who know their status and take their meds. My Husband of 7 years is positive and I am negative. He became positive years before we met. We haven't used condoms in years and I'm still negative. The ignorant on here who keep acting as if HIV is a death sentence are as bad as the climate deniers.

I had a bf back in my 20s who was poz. We had safe sex. I have been tested regularly and never even been nervous.

R19, why do you presume you can’t get negative guys anymore? That sounds so resigned to swimming in waters where most people have HIV. Why not find a less risky pool or prospective dates?

R24, people are still dying of HIV complications in America. I know of someone who recently did. They were not always compliant with their medicine regime and had substance issues. The disease caused complications that snowballed and were multifaceted. He was still young when he died

I can’t get the negative guys anymore because I’m my city, 53 is over the hill. The poz guys are way more welcoming to any and all people interested in them. I guess they’re grateful in a way to be desired, in spite of their status.

Who wants to risk any STD, let alone one that can kill you, require you to take Powerful meds with longterm side effects, and will significantly narrow the number of pool who will be willing to be your boyfriend or spouse?

Poz Parties are a thing now

R19, it’s your life, but I would rather be celibate than resort to that course of action

Yes cum in throat, on face, no problem if you are POZ mister. Every years I get protectful blessing of the throat on Saint Blase Day.

R31 - I’ve done the research. It’s virtually impossible for me to get HIV if my partner is on meds and undetectable.

R27 I'm sorry for your friend, but not all HIV people have substance abuse issues or are unable to regularly take their meds. Please don't conflate your experience with all HIV+ people.

R34, I don’t. However, that doesn’t mean that any person has to have sex with anyone with any STD, whatever it is. This is not about declining to be friends with or Being humane towards others. It’s about the very personal decision to be physically intimate with someone, and people are entitled to be as selective as they want.

R35 - if you rule out potential partners because of HIV status, you are seriously limiting yourself.

Absolutely R34 I decline to sleep with uptight Neanderthals without fail all the time.

R36, most people limit themselves to people with certain qualities when seeking a partner.

I’ve had sex with a number of poz men. Since I know how one can get HIV, I know how to have sex safely. I did that for decades.

Once I started PrEP, the first guy I had cum in my ass was an undetectable HIV poz guy. It was so fucking hot

Smh

R14, no I did not give him a blow job.

I think it’s extra hot to get a poz load inside my mouth or ass. I’m on PreP and I get tested every 6 months so I’m not worried.

Yes, I’ve hooked up with a poz guy a number of times, mostly making out and body contact. The chemistry we have for each other is off the charts

I have a FB who’s poz who likes me to dump my load in his ass. I think it’s hot. He’s never asked my status.

[quote]r34 I'm sorry for your friend, but not all HIV people have substance abuse issues or are unable to regularly take their meds.

How did they get infected, then?

If they couldn't be compliant with protecting their health through using safer sex precautions, before, why would they now be capable of being compliant with protecting their health through adhering to a medical regimen?

Not knowingly.

R45 - that’s true. All my poz friends are total messes. A few have cleaned up their act, but most still use drugs, drink to excess, and have tons of anonymous sex. I would think that lifestyle doesn’t make it easy to adhere to medication regimens.

People with HIV disproportionately have current or past issues with substance abuse, and other issues including impulse control. Not all do, just significantly more likely than average. It’s a huge factor in their risk taking

Some people just are bigger risk takers. Others are naturally reserved and restrained by anything that potentially be harmful or undesirable

It's quite likely that a huge number of us had - certainly many more than any of us realize.

Between people not knowing and people lying, you need to approach every sexual situation as a potential risk.

[quote]I blew a guy who turned out to be poz (said he was undetectable)

So, you blew him, then he told you - how nice of him - and hence my previous statement.

In my city there’s a group of 7 Hispanics that call themselves “the sisters” that are all poz and they sleep around trying to purposely infect others. I live in a tourist town, so all the locals know them, but the unsuspecting tourists are their targets. I feel like I should tell authorities but I don’t know if they’d believe me or even if it was an enforceable act.

[quote] Have You Ever Had Any Sexual Activity with a Poz Person?

I don't have sex with skid row hobos - so the answer is No.

It's been stated by medical experts for YEARS that the dangerous people are those who don't know they're poz or infected with another STD.

When I go to the Eagle for trash disco Sunday, I wear a tight T-shirt with a big + on it and I get hit on constantly.

I would expect that at a place like that

I fucked a guy in a gay sauna once that I later found out was HIV+, no big deal as I used a condom (although I did shoot my load in his mouth).

I'm sure I have fucked other guys who were HIV+ and I never knew but since it was with condoms there's no issue. Anyone I've fucked bareback was HIV-

Oh please you all have had sexual activity with a POZ person, whether you knew it or not.

I tried dating a guy who was HIV+ but the few times we had sex I was so anxious that it wasn't enjoyable at all so I told him I thought we were better off as just friends.

It's pretty likely any gay man who's had sex with more than a handful of people has, whether they know it or not. And the person who is HIV+ may not know it themselves.

Best policy is to assume everyone is, unless you know for sure otherwise.

R57, I certainly haven’t

R60

Virgin

[Quote] People with HIV disproportionately have current or past issues with substance abuse, and other issues including impulse control.

Stop making up shit

R61, I’ve had sex with five people (two males, three females). I can confirm non of them have HIV.

Sex with poz guys can get so piggy because they don’t have anything much to fear.

Years before PrEP, I would go to bareback orgies to watch. Wow

I'd rather stay celibate the rest of my life than risk this death!!! Go play with people who have the flu or ebola while you're at it. Isn't that hot as well?

R75, actually no

I remember a time poz guys were absolutely desperate. No one would have sex with them.

I begged some of the hottest guys of my life by being open to safe sex with poz guys.

Now they’re back in demand— many as daddy tops

I am in a monogamous longterm relationship, which is the only context I have sex. In dating prospective partners, I screen out people who have lived a promiscuous and nondiscriminatory lifestyle. I look for other ubercautious people who are likewise STDphobia and find it unacceptable to get any STD. When I was single, a met a very attractive guy who said he liked me and wanted to date. Thankfully, people who know him immediately warned me he lived a very promiscuous and wild lifestyle and advised me to avoid him. He also drank a lot. I ended up telling him we should just be friends. Minimizing risks involves screening out people who have propensities to engage in high risk behavior or who have not shown a tendency to live sober, Longterm monogamous lifestyles. My boyfriend had only had sex with one other guy and two females in longterm RelationshipS from College when we met. He has been very picky and discriminating, and that’s what drew me to him.

It’s not only about screening out people who are at highest risk of STDs, it’s also about screening out people who aren’t good candidates for faithful longterm monogamy. Don’t seek a housewife in a ho.

How's life in the 1950s working out for you R68?

R70, quiet good. Never had an STD, in a relationship with a wonderful person.

Quite good

I can feel the weirdness from you, r68. Glib, cold, mechanical.

But, I think that in a monogamous relationship is the most rewarding and authentic way to have sex.

I call it “wise.”

R63 - I’m fascinated by the fact you’ve only fucked two men in your life!!! I fucked two last week! Can you give us a little back story on your situation?

R68 - “minimizing risk”

You sound intelligent, but what a methodically banal existence you must have. Have you ever had ANY fun or adventure in your life?

The sluts who spaz on about 'breeding' and 'toxic loads' are hilarious.

And, R75, he only had sex with the two guys one time only, for each.

Yet is also in a ”long term monogamous relationship". Is it with a man? Fascinating stuff indeed!

BTW, have you slipped it in three females (R6), or five (R63)?

Now I want a “toxic load” all over my face!

R69 - you cannot assume that someone who has a promiscuous (or what judge to be promiscuous) period in their life is not going to be capable of monogamy or be happily monogamous. In fact, you could argue that a lot of people who haven't sowed their wild oats much before getting into a monogamous relationship could be more likely to be sexually dissatisfied, think they are missing out on something, and possibly less likely to remain faithful.

That said, USUALLY the best way to predict future behaviour is to examine past behaviour, but I don't think it's necessarily true that once a ho, always a ho.

Sure, it’s just that people who have been rather libertine and loose sexually are more likely than others to continue to be so. If there is evidence they’ve changed and have a new pattern of living, one can take that into consideration .

Let’s be real here. We’ve probably all had sex with poz men. I used to be a heavy drinker and would sometimes have unprotected sex (I’m a top) and I would just know a few guys were poz even if they said they weren’t. I used one trick’s bathroom and saw all these medication samples but I didn’t see what it was, I wanted to live in denial and I’m very lucky but, honestly, it wasn’t worth all the time I agonized thinking I got infected from one encounter. I’m in a ten year relationship now so I have no idea what it’s like to trick around with Prep.

I find the best way to ensure a partner doesn't stray is to attach an ankle monitor, and strap him into bed every night.

R83, smh

I’m a top and I raw fuck poz men all the time. I have done extensive reading that says I have a zero chance of catching it if I’m the top. I have been doing this for almost 20 years and still negative. I also HATE condoms. The only thing I’ve ever caught is crabs, which wasn’t pleasant but manageable.

[QUOTE] You sound intelligent, but what a methodically banal existence you must have. Have you ever had ANY fun or adventure in your life?

R76 is the infamous Life Is A Banquet troll.

[quote]I’m a top and I raw fuck poz men all the time. I have done extensive reading that says I have a zero chance of catching it if I’m the top.

Uh, link?

Many times. Many, many times.

It's sad that so many men have no grasp on the current reality of HIV. Yes, you should take precautions and be careful but acting like poz men are radioactive is counterproductive. Men who don't know they're poz are the most infectious. I'll take my chances with a guy on his meds over a guy who hasn't been checked since the Obama (or Bush II) administration.

R90 - you’re not “taking your chances” with a guy taking his meds. He has zero chance of passing the virus if he’s on meds and undetectable.

I think all healthy guys should have a quota of doing 3 poz guys a year. It’s a way to bring our community together and also help them to not feel so alone.

Of course- yes- safe sex has protected me as has effective viral suppression that minimizes the odd of infection.

If you remembered what the church teaches us that it's ok to be gay, but sexual activity is a grave sin. You would never have to be worried about someone being positive.

I once took a poz guys load in my asshole. I immediately had second thoughts and farted it out and got tested for the next 3 months! (I am negative) I was really “in the moment” with this guy, but I can see how easy it would be to get the virus under passionate circumstances.

R95 but also, even if he had a viral load, you wouldn't DEFINITELY have gotten infected. Just like women don't get pregnant every time they get a load in their pussy. It's a chance, not a guarantee.

R96 - true

It depends on how many years are in the rectum for the “toxic load@ to enter the bloodstream. I’ve also heard that using extra lube can prevent HIV because it doesn’t tear up the ass as much.

I can’t wait for the day when there’s no syphilis or gonorrhea so we can raw dog everyone all the time again. Condoms suck.

I can’t wait for the day when there’s no syphilis or gonorrhea so we can raw dog everyone all the time again. Condoms suck.

[quote]r95 I once took a poz guys load in my asshole. I immediately had second thoughts and farted it out and got tested for the next 3 months!

I hope this wasn't on your honeymoon.

Because that's not very romantic.

When I was first coming out, I went to this “video arcade” in Dallas and that’s where I got all my sex. I was only 19 and couldn’t get into the bars and Grindr wasn’t a thing in 1989. It’s amazing that I never caught anything! I’m sure some of those guys must have been poz.

First boyfriend in the late 90s. But I was young and moved for work. Still friends, though.

He’s married now. And seems to be aging in reverse.

Several guys in my gay alcohol/drug rehab were poz and I fucked two of them. There was nothing else to do at night. I used condoms and never caught anything, but I was the top.

Just wow smh

Going by all the load laden Tumblr refugees on Twitter the next big thing in STDs could be just around the corner.

Now that I’m 50 and survived the AIDS crisis I wouldn’t mind another super-virus wiping out the annoying youngins.

I'm a HIV- bottom. I'm sure more than the two I know of, but I definitely know of two. One guy claimed to be a total top, but he was actually versatile. He topped me a few times but always with a condom. He claimed he didn't like being sucked off. I found out later from an acquaintance that the guy was HIV+ and was living with his boyfriend who was also HIV+ but he played on the side. At least he was always safe with a condom and he was worried about passing it on through oral, hence the claim that he didn't like to get sucked off. Got tested many times after that and always negative.

The other guy, same thing, he claimed he was a total top but I found out he bottomed all the time. He basically was versatile and would just say he was top or bottom depending on the guy he was with. He had a huge, and I mean huge cock. Uncut, veiny, thick, 9+. It was glorious to look at. Definitely porn hung. One night we were fooling around and next thing I know, he's ready to fuck me. I didn't have any condoms at the time. He swore he was HIV- so I said we could fuck but he had to cum outside me. That's what we did. Twice (he washed up in between sessions). I found out later that he was HIV+ (got to love the gossipy gays) so I confronted him. He claimed he really didn't lie because he was undetectable and regularly took his meds. I got tested several times afterward and I'm still neg, but damn, that put a scare in me.

You’re bad at finding total tops, dude

The cavalier attitude toward "undetectable" is ridiculous. You don't know some trick's viral load. I don't think you'll ever meet a person that's like "I'm HIV+ and too spun out half the time to take my meds! Viral load unknown!" If you're on PreP, have at it I guess.

But I think that's why there's still stigma. Right or wrong, poz status throws up a flag to many about that person's other behaviors. I'd say that affects being open to a monogamous long-term relationship, though.

Sure. I assume all guys I fuck are poz (this is the safest and most sensible thing to do) and adjust my risk profile accordingly.

Prior to Prep, I used condoms. After prep, I fuck bareback. I knowingly allowed a Poz guy to cum inside me once. Still negative at last test.

Only a tiny handful of people have contracted HIV due to prep failure - far more have contracted it due to condom failure. It's important to have a realistic appreciation of risk.

[quote]He swore he was HIV- so I said we could fuck but he had to cum outside me. That's what we did. Twice (he washed up in between sessions). I found out later that he was HIV+ (got to love the gossipy gays) so I confronted him. [bold]He claimed he really didn't lie because he was undetectable[/bold] and regularly took his meds.

Jesus Christ.... 🙄🙄🙄 What did you say in response to that?

As a poz guy, I tell my partners of my status and the fact that I’m undetectable. Because of the fact I’m defined as “hot” in the community, I’ve only had one guy back out of sex. But I can imagine being average looking would be tough for a poz guy.

Well-said r110

R113, What type of community do you live? I doubt that is the norm

R115 - the gay male community

As a bottom, I"ve had sex with two guys who were openly poz--they were both very careful about not passing it on and used condoms without hesitation

After going on PrEP, I went sort of sex-crazy for a short while. I felt invincible after so many years of HIV fear. The first guy Who came in me was a poz guy. It felt so liberating at the time.

After about a month of that, I calmed down and fell back into my regular sex routine— about 2-3 times a week.

The thrill of bareback sex is still there. No way I could ever go back

You’re interesting r118. Smh

Always assume everyone is positive and act accordingly.

Be selective and nonimpulsive with your sexual partners. Know people before you sleep with them

Don’t sleep with slutty or drunk/druggie folks

I like poz guy sex. There’s no expectation of a relationship or dating, etc. They just want sex and I don’t get the “can I sleep over tonight” neediness. I am happy being single and having many sexual partners. Not looking to settle down till I’m mid 40s.

Ummmmm okay ⤴️

There are poz breeding videos on porntube. It’s so disturbing. “Make me poz!” “Shoot your last negative load!”

Hell no!

One can view any kind of depravity on the internet r125. I've seen a video where they were fisting, then a metal sheathe came out... It was fucking weird.

I'm not into anal so I've never been fucked and I've only fucked a couple of guys and I always used condoms.

As usual, lots of strange fears here, maybe left over from a period when an HIV diagnosis was a death sentence. in 2016, there were 1,100,000 people living with an HIV diagnosis in the US. 15,000 of those died that year (of any cause, but can assume that at least some died of some AIDS-related opportunistic infections) - a number that has been dropping every year for the past two decades. Numerically, many many more people die of diabetes or diabetes-related diseases every year. (75,000 or more). However, I get the distinction that you don't "catch" diabetes from a sexual partner. My point is that you are very unlikely to catch HIV from someone who knows his status and is taking medication. That likelihood drops to a statistical zero if he has achieved undetectability, which most people do who adhere to their medical regimens - but even if a person doesn't achieve undetectability his ability to pass virus on to another person will be seriously compromised .

Most people who have been diagnosed HIV+ want to live, and will be compliant with their medication regimen. Yes, those with mental illness or substance abuse issues or both will be less likely to be compliant, but, hint hint, other aspects of their behavior would send up red flags. Many of the same people who are unwilling to take even the slightest risk of infection by HIV, at this point a mostly treatable illness, have no hesitation in getting into their cars daily and driving on a freeway (a risky venture), have no hesitation in drinking daily or eating salty foods or cured meats (risky, linked to cancers and heart disease). So it's a question of perception of risk vs. an actual risk. But I also get that we don't generally operate rationally when faced with these decisions. Ancient and primitive parts of our brain involved with self-preservation kick in.

Just don't try to peddle your emotional reasons for avoiding sex with poz people as rational, because they are not. Your fears are valid on an emotional level, they are simply NOT valid on a rational level.

As long as they are undetectable, you have ZERO not 99% I repeat ZERO chance of getting HIV. Google the science of it if you don't believe me. A lot of these paranoid trolls and closet cases here are don't know a thing about what they are talking about. They think and act as if they live in a bubble from 1985. Probably the last time they actually bothered to check in with science.

And since so many are liars both about status and detectability if you see a suspected poz run far, run fast.

Strange fears? It’s the view of the majority of people on the planet. It would be good if some people who are at extremely high risk had some of those sane fears. The problem with reckless people is that they lack the healthy fears that other people have.

The people I personally know with HIV lacked fear of getting HIV or STDs. I know people who are STDphobic, and none of them have HIV. It looks like this is a case where “fear” is healthy and wise.

^^^^In this thread: more people who believe that the plural of 'anecdote' is 'data'.

[quote]As long as they are undetectable, you have ZERO not 99% I repeat ZERO chance of getting HI

Replace “undetectable” with “negative”. Would you advocate barebacking with a Grindr hook up who says he’s negative?

And what about other STDs? I don’t want any std

[quote]The people I personally know with HIV lacked fear of getting HIV or STDs. I know people who are STDphobic, and none of them have HIV. It looks like this is a case where “fear” is healthy and wise.

I personally know people who are so afraid of getting anything from anyone they never had a relationship outside of a computer screen. They end up very lonely and sad....and bitter.

[quote]Strange fears? It’s the view of the majority of people on the planet.

Does that make it ok? By your logic, most people on the planet are racist, sexist, and homophobic. So its OK and healthy to assume most black guys are criminals, most Jews are money grubbers and most Muslims are terrorists.

It’s a choice of values. And fears. Many People fear getting HIV much more than fear not being in a relationship.

Everyone has whether you know it or not.

[quote]The problem with reckless people is that they lack the healthy fears that other people have.

Except that the topic here is irrational fear. The OP stated the guy was undetectable. He didn't say the guy was pos and never been tested. Or pos with a high viral load. Or Pos and dying in a hospital. They guy he slept with sounds like he was healthy, taking care of himself and responsible, including discussing things with his sex partner.

I guarantee you if you want to get HIV from someone, its not going to be that guy, its going to be the one that lies to you on Grinder that he is "clean". Or the guys that never bothered to get tested because they feel fine and only play with clean guys.

Thankfully r140 is wrong

If you’re really cautious about not getting HIV, you won’t be seeking partners on grindr.. It’s an STD cesspool.

When one is gay, one is suppose to be living a life celibacy and therefore, getting HIV or any other std shouldn't be a concern.

I don't understand some of the responses on this thread. Should I feel guilty for not fucking HIV+ people? It's not my fault they have HIV. They knew the consequences of their behavior. Also, many HIV+ people don't have consistent access to medication. So...I'll pass.

I agree ⬆️

You're not supposed to feel guilty, r145, but it's healthy for all of us to examine our fears periodically to see if they are necessary and useful or if they block us from possible happiness. The words black, or asian, or muslim could be substituted for Poz in OP'S question, and similar fears would surface for some respondents. Some people are highly risk adverse. I, for instance, wouldn't sky dive for a million dollars. I just don't see that it would bring me enough joy to balance the possibility of a sure-death accident, and as we read in the news just yesterday, skydiving accidents are not uncommon. On the other hand, even though there is a one in 10,000,000 chance that I might have an adverse reaction to a vaccination, I'm still going to get the vaccination. If you meet someone who's intelligent, has a similar sense of humor to you, is physically attractive to you, has similar education and values, and you reject him out of hand because of a fear that is not borne out by the statistics, it's really your loss.

An appropriate response to fear in regard to HIV is to not have unsafe sex with a stranger - ANY stranger. If you have waited until you know someone better and he discloses that he is HIV+ but undetectable, it's totally appropriate to express your fears of infection. If he's mutually attracted to you, he might show you his most recent lab result or he might suggest that you both limit your sexual options to very safe ones until or unless you feel comfortable doing more, or he might invite you to join him with some counseling with a medical professional to assuage your fears, or to learn how to relate sexually to one another and still minimize risk. Those are very rationale ways of dealing with fears.

In regard to how people must have behaved in order to get HIV, those comments are very inappropriately judgmental. For instance, there are probably something like 200,000 gay people, now in their 50s, 60s , and 70s, who acquired HIV before 1985 - thus before there was such a thing as "safe sex", since the cause wasn't yet known. A very close friend of mine died of AIDS in 1993. He only slept with one man in his ENTIRE life. That man became his lover/partner. Unfortunately, he passed along his virus. My friend met him in 1984. There are many others who were monogamous but whose partners were not. Others grew up in conservative rural areas where sex education was inadequately taught and didn't learn how to protect themselves until too late. Most infections now are happening to VERY young men in communities of color where access to sex education is minimal and there are cultural roadblocks to young people getting information about how to be gay, how to set boundaries, etc.

Gross. I'm gonna laugh so hard when a strain that's resistant to prep shows up. Stupidity should be rewarded with illness. It's the only way some fools will learn.

One time I was on a cable car with a person I was CONVINCED was HIV+ - he had that look you know - and it sent a shiver down my spine! And absolutely RUINED my visit to San Francisco.

R149, I can’t be expected to not take raw loads! I have to have my guts coated every week or I start to feel weird. Don’t put me through that!

Prep users should feel comfortable taking HIV+ loads. Otherwise, why take prep?

The nastiest, hottest sex I’ve ever had has been with poz guys.

Poz guys are the ones actually taking care of their health with medicines.

It’s the one who don’t know their status passing on the virus

I want a hot, toxic load sprayed all inside my hole. I’m getting hard just thinking about that virus slimed all over my guts.

No R15, if someone hasn't already told you, the mouth is an open port for infection, especially dependent on your dental health. Abrasions and cuts happen all the time, if you brush your teeth too hard, etc. Saliva is not a disinfectant for the virus, though it is a low risk carrier. But blood is, of course, a high-risk carrier. I'm not sure about the digestive system - people always seemed to think swallowing was low-risk behaviour for some reason - but the virus can find entry through bleeding gums.

People can do what they want, of course, but it's best to do it with an informed mind. Then you can weigh your options and make informed decisions.

I came of age during the AIDS crisis (was 15 in 1981) and for a long time sex equalled death, not just for me but a lot of my friends who actually died, guys I still think about all the time. I've always been a advocate of safe sex and probably always will be. Even though it's a manageable disease, I've survived this long (53) and I don't want to contract it now and have to take a ton of expensive medication all the time. I keep an open-ish mind but, y'know, the other thing I know at my age is that relationships don't last forever. There's a lot of things I want to do in my life so my health takes priority over fleeting urges. I would have to feel a LOT of love coming my way to truly submit to another relationships, especially one where I could potentially put my own health at risk.

They should be worried about contracting a whole range of STDs because of their unhinged sexual behavior.

I heard you can get pozed by watching bareback porn with poz actors. I had to stop watching porn and even thinking about sex. Poz guys ruin it for everyone. And now they insist I take their poz loads and they won't take no for an answer. I lived a good sensible life and now they want to ruin it!!! Plus, they are mostly socialists.

Each and every one of those glory hole poz loads of as worth it. 🤤

I’ll pray for the sanctity of your worn out elderbottom hole, R158.

The negative side effects of longterm use of PrEP should give people pause

Here’s the “negative side effects of the long term use of PreP”

I had sex with an HIV+ undetectable guy three days ago. He is a hottie...lean and muscular with a handsome face. I’d requested that he get a load up his hole, hold onto that load, and text me immediately. His hole looked like a vanilla milkshake from all the cum that was in him.

It was hot, nasty and I felt no fear, either then or now, because I’m on Prep.

R162 will burn in hell for eternity. FF this hatred and ignorance.

Just put r162 on ignore, r164

Don’t let it provoke you.

I feel like Prepers get angry about this topic because they know something doesn't feel right. That's all I will say about this topic.

I can understand why people are fearful. Especially older guys who lived through the dark days in the beginning. What we all have to remember is that, even if someone is undetectable at their last test, he can still experience "Blips". Blips can be caused by other infections, such as flu or herpes, or a recent vaccination. Having a blip is relatively common, and it does not necessarily mean that the person will transmit the disease, but it can happen. Just be careful out there. Yes, undetectable = untransmittable, but undetectable can change very quickly, even in a person who is "durably undetectable".

So take Prep to insure against the "Blips" r167

[quote]r156 I came of age during the AIDS crisis (was 15 in 1981) and for a long time sex equalled death

I never saw it as "sex = death" but as "infected semen = infection". Since you don't know who's infected, you have to create a barrier between you and semen.

Infected preseminal fluid, blood, vaginal secretions and breast milk are also infectuous, but how often do you come in contact with breast milk, for example, during gay sex? And if someone's bleeding, I'm driving them to the hospital, not a motel room.

This was all on the cover of Time magazine in 1983 or so. It wasn't a mystery.

I had the clap a couple of times. Also got crabs from a guy I didn't even have sex with, I just stayed over at his place. Nasty ! I'm still negative. Tested every 3 months or so. Fucked a lot of guys BB.

The problem with zealous proPreppers is they seem to have no real hope in Changing sexual behavior and values and seem to advocate people continue engaging in indiscriminate sexual behavior that puts them at risk for a host of STDs even with the medicine. They seem to presume gay men are incapable of sexual restraint and prudence and concede gay men are innately promiscuous and Sexually out of control. You market a drug that has serious side effects to people you think are incapable of changing their behavior that leads to unhealthy Consequences

No “undetectable” doesn’t change quickly.

Studies show that many poz men on medication stay undetectable for up to two years after stopping their medications

No “undetectable” doesn’t change quickly.

Studies show that many poz men on medication stay undetectable for up to two years after stopping their medications

I don’t want to be in the sexual pool of people who have STIs period. That’s why I restrict myself to a committed monogamous relationship.

Celibacy is the best policy. Especially since sex outside of marriage is a sin.

Then get married and have sex within it

The guy I was with that said he was poz and undetectable had blisters on his skin (stomach, legs). Maybe that was from HIV meds?

Sure. Not a problem.

R5 Don't forget, Have You Ever Lived Next To An Eyetalian?

[quote] The problem with zealous proPreppers is they seem to have no real hope in Changing sexual behavior and values and seem to advocate people continue engaging in indiscriminate sexual behavior that puts them at risk for a host of STDs even with the medicine. They seem to presume gay men are incapable of sexual restraint and prudence and concede gay men are innately promiscuous and Sexually out of control. You market a drug that has serious side effects to people you think are incapable of changing their behavior that leads to unhealthy Consequences

Heaven forbid they enjoy their bodies and have sex - (gasp) with the LIGHTS ON!!!!

We should all be like Miss R171 and sit at home with our ankle length caftans on, not even glancing at a stray penis.

HIV is rather difficult to contract. It was even difficult to get before the current meds got poz folks to undetectable status and Prep to practically stop transmissions. The more you know, the less you stop freaking out about a partners’ status.

By ex-BF is positive. He refuses to have sex with me, and yes, I've asked (and even begged, a couple of time). I've stopped trying. But I want him, very much, every single day. At least, I think he knows he's loved (I know that he loves me). I just wish it weren't a constant barrier.

I have to admit to not having had sex with anyone, male or female, for almost 40 years now. It was pretty much a matter of choice, due to a lot of reasons. Work, responsibilities, and of course, the then raging AIDS epidemic. Every year in Chicago, one couple threw a huge party. Only the cream of the cream of good looking people ever got invited. I was very curious about it, and had been dreaming about being invited with little or no real expectation. I used to hang out at the old Gold Coast bar on Chicago's near north side, and was pretty much a regular between there and the Redoubt across the street. I was young, but quite frankly too chubby and out of shape ever to attract anyone. I did wind up talking to an older guy a lot, he was kind of lonely and I even went to his place and fucked him one night. I kind of knew what he felt like. Imagine my surprise when he turned out to be a good friend of one of the guys throwing the hot party...and I was shocked that I was invited. I struggled with the idea of going, figuring all of these hot guys are going to be there fucking, sucking, whatever, but a lardass like myself would be over in the corner and ignored. It would be humiliating, so I passed on the invitation. It turned out to be a good thing that I did, because the first local outbreak of AIDS I heard about was from people who had attended that party. Really, a lot of people started coming down with AIDS, and started disappearing from the bar scene. I wound up being transferred to New York shortly after that, and stayed there for ten years. I never really connected with the bar scene in New York, and not having a car, and living in Brooklyn made hanging out in Manhattan difficult. I was definitely one of the "bridge and tunnel" people so abhorred in the smart watering holes. The only bar I ever really went to was a now gone bar on Montague Street in Brooklyn Heights called Danny's. After about ten years, I moved back home, and again, with work and family pressures, really didn't have much of a sex life other than porn videos. Medical science finally came up with a cure for my inability to lose weight, and a rigorous exercise program, I wound up getting in pretty good shape. While surely in the "daddy" category, maybe even bordering on "DILF" for my age, I keep entertaining thoughts of loading up on PreP and making up for all of the years without sex. I'd be pretty much open to all suggestions, and the more the merrier. I am really appreciative of the postings here because they do tend to cool my passions and make me realize all of the problems I could wind up coming down with. While this forum is often lighthearted, it does serve as a good source of information. When moving back home again, I tried to look up all of my old friends that I had lost contact with during my ten year hiatus. All dead, all gone. There is a lot of truth to the saying you can't go home again.

I probably have and just didn't know it.

I came of age in the early 80s just as the news reports were surfacing about a gay cancer; I remember the term GRID was used.

The government and Reagan didn't do much about it, but Newsweek magazine did a cover story on the virus/illness.

This didn't make sense but the message my mind received was Gay = AIDS = death.

Donahue and other programs did entire episodes dissecting how the virus was transmitted.

I stayed away from all sex and then only did safe sex.

I'm the type that needs to be s l o w l y opened up and then gently entered. I could never find a guy who was that patient or could deal with my neuroses.

A shrink said I just didn't want to go against my religion, family, or society. I said, 'well, I guess I found a really good way to justify it all, right? '

Today, people's HIV statuses are in their online profiles; you can find out about somebody when you haven't even met them in person yet. It's so much easier to move on to the next guy.

I don't of course...too old...too scared...too stuck...too damaged.

I'm open to miracles -- like a cure for AIDS -- but I don't think I'm going to be partnered this time around.

It’s depends upon what risk you’re willing to take in life. The idea of getting an STD is unthinkable and unacceptable to me. Moreover, I have a conservative sexual ethic and lifestyle for myself. Therefore, I’m not gonna be hooking up with guys who are at high risk for STI‘s or already have one. I don’t want to even sexually connect with someone with any STI. It’s my choice, my body.

R183 I regret that I find your life story very sad. A lifetime without sex and love.

I know a lot of people who are longterm celibate became they want to avoid STIs. Some of then are heterosexual men

I can understand how that might happen but I find it unnecessary and maladaptation to life. Also it seems like an excuse that covers for other issues about intimacy and love and sex. Just my opinion.

I didn't stop being "promiscuous" (whatever that means) when I learned about how HIV was transmitted. I even became an escort for a while. I just had lots of slutty safe(r) sex.

Still negative.

(I actually like condoms for anal because the guy usually lasts longer.)

R189 - are you male or female

R185, a mistake people can make is thinking HIV/AIDS is the only STD out there.

Continue to be safe!

[quote]r190 are you male or female

Male.

My dermatologist tells me a 78-year old gay patient got HIV from a 72-year old married bi guy. They fucked without a condom. However, this doc's advice is do what you want--everything is treatable. He scorns internists who preach safe sex. He does recommend my going on PreP, but my internist is concerned about the effects of it on my kidneys--I'm old too.

Jaysus. Really? In 2019? Where does OP live, Tuscaloosa?

Most people try to screen out potential partner so it doesn’t happen

R177 no every medical issue in a poz person has to be because their poz

I’ve been in a Poz support group for a little over a year. In that time I’ve fucked 5 of the members. It’s a great place to look for sexual partners because we already know each other’s status! No awkward conversations about disclosing your status. I thought on of the guys was a potential LTR but he got pneumonia and passed. But I keep hope alive.

Just remember that viruses and bacteria are always mutating, always adapting and they can do it in only a few generations, so stay cautious.

Just wow

Love poz cum! It was so forbidden before. Nice now to have them cum in my ass

I keep my poz fuck buddies lod in my ass for hours before I squirt it out. It gets me hot just knowing it’s up there! (I’m on Prep)

😷 smh

Poz load fetishism is so 2001.

Some people are so self-destructive

[quote]if someone hasn't already told you, the mouth is an open port for infection, especially dependent on your dental health. Abrasions and cuts happen all the time, if you brush your teeth too hard, etc. Saliva is not a disinfectant for the virus...I came of age during the AIDS crisis (was 15 in 1981)

And you have not bothered to update your knowledge for the last 30 years. Things have clanged and that advice is no longer valid. People who are HIV pos and UNDETECTABLE are completely incapable of transmuting HIV to anyone even through open blood to blood contact. I'ts backed by science, not just my opinion. Google it.

[quote], I keep entertaining thoughts of loading up on PreP and making up for all of the years without sex. I'd be pretty much open to all suggestions, and the more the merrier. I am really appreciative of the postings here because they do tend to cool my passions and make me realize all of the problems I could wind up coming down with.

It's not all or nothing. How about you selectively have sex with one guy at a time as you get to know them instead of going from nothing to total whore? That would be the adult healthy behavior thing to do.

[quote] if someone hasn't already told you, the mouth is an open port for infection, especially dependent on your dental health. Abrasions and cuts happen all the time, if you brush your teeth too hard, etc. Saliva is not a disinfectant for the virus...I came of age during the AIDS crisis (was 15 in 1981)

Honey, no one contracted HIV via oral and saliva does kill the virus.

I am worried about GRID!!!! The rare occasion I do frottage with a gentleman I know very well, using Saran Wrap barrier, we wash each other before and after the sinful deed with hydrogen peroxide and Purell.

[quote]r207 Honey, no one contracted HIV via oral and saliva does kill the virus.

There have been cases. I can't remember where the paper appeared, but there was one study (in San Francisco?) where they tracked a group of sexually active men who checked in to report their activities and get tested, and during that time more than one who only did oral seroconverted. It was a smaller number, but that's also complicated by the fact that few people ONLY do oral. That's usually a prelude to fucking.

I think it also mentioned something about long, agressive deepthroating, too, which could abrade tissue...especially if your partner's large. I was thinking, [italic]"Oh, dear. On the other hand, that's to be hoped for...?"[/italic]

Unprotected oral sex is a lower risk activity, but it's not no risk. You're not just talking about the mouth, but about the throat, and the condition of each. Even if saliva inhibitted HIV in a test tube, your mouth and throat are not a test tube.

A friend who is a voracious oral bottom always says he survived while so many of his friends died of AIDS because all he did was oral

One of those stars says he got it from oral

[quote]r210 A friend who is a voracious oral bottom always says he survived while so many of his friends died of AIDS because all he did was oral

Yes, it is lower risk.

The biggest slut (#NotJudgy) I knew in NYC never got infected ... but then it turned out he was naturally missing the CKR5 receptor, which is one that facilitates the virus from docking on a T helper cell. I think I was googling his name once, and found an interview where he discussed the study.

Suddenly, it all made sense.

^^ sorry .... the gene mutation is in [bold]CCR5[/bold] .... not "CKR5".

I think I had the name of a Calvin Klein cologne stuck in my head.

[quote] There have been cases. I can't remember where the paper appeared, but there was one study (in San Francisco?) where they tracked a group of sexually active men who checked in to report their activities and get tested, and during that time more than one who only did oral seroconverted.

Honey, fags lie.

My poz friend who always complained about living in a sexual desert for the last decade was pleasantly surprised when so many hot guys are coming after him.

He’s a hot Daddy so lots of young guys want him. Not surprisingly, his undetectable poz status doesn’t cause problems at all.

We .just remember that as homosexuals, we are expected to be celibate. If we do as we as we are asked, we never have to worry about stds.

I may be crazy... but I am negative and not willing to kill my kidneys for a bad fuck... good luck to y'all !!

You will not be missed r217

Or even noticed

Unlike you R218 who has to troll an anonymous message board to get noticed...but you still won't be missed.

R217 is wise

Everyday I run into a pozzie who insists he can rape me and fill me with poz seed. My mother offered us a luxury vacation to Saint-Sébastien but their poz gays eat men like me. No, thank you!

Hiv is deadly and a real life buzz kill 😭💔

[quote]My mother offered us a luxury vacation to Saint-Sébastien but their poz gays eat men like me. No, thank you!

So you are a piece of fruit? Paranoid much? You dont think Poz guys live in your neighborhood flying under the radar as "clean" while they post their pic on Grinder? Really?

I don't get all you guys saying you wont sleep with POZ guys. How do you actually know? News Flash: People LIE. Especially when it come to sex. The only way to know for sure is to be in the doctors office with them as they get their results. Why do you think that STDs like Gonorrhea and Syphilis are at an all time high right now? Think about it.

But for some reason the powers that be behind the "U=U" campaign are now telling us we should believe someone who says he is 'Undetectable".

Makes no sense.

Soon enough there will be a way to test by free app, or something. Then the shit will hit the fan for furtive hookups.

Meanwhile in California...

Huzzah Cali!

Good thing California relies on the advice of MDs and DrPHs, rather than traumatized PTSD ridden septuagenarians.

Furtive