Why are straight men so obsessed with barbecue?

They're fat whores

Did he actually make barbecue, OP, or is he just cooking out?

Gay men too. When we BBQ, the gays line up at the trough

Preparing meat outdoors is a male domain almost everywhere around the globe. Just look at the Middle East/Southeast Europe/Caucasus: men never even set foot inside a kitchen in those places but they're always the ones in charge of outdoor roasting and barbecuing.

I never thought about it before but maybe it has something to do with history: back then women mostly worked in the fields while men were the ones who were hunters so maybe that made them feel responsible for cooking their catch as well.

Do you mean minding the grill itself? That’s about control and not having to mingle.

Straight American men have shitty lives. They have shitty things expected of them and most of them lack the guts to rebel. They get along by going along. Grilling outdoors is fun. They don't have much that is fun. Let them have this respite from their dreary awful straight lives.

I’m gay and love bbqing. Two reasons I think: 1) I love cooking and 2) at parties I’m pretty quiet and as a result tend to feel left out but as cool I can remain quiet and still be very sociable.

R6, they rule the world yet we’re supposed to pity them?

They’re “obsessed” because they are supposed to be. It’s the cultural norm.

I know many people here react irritably to any gender-norm discussion, but just go to any website that sells gifts sorted by gender. Select “gifts for him,” and among the wallets, leather table trays, golf-related shit and team sports-branded shit, you’re likely to find grilling “tools.”

Meanwhile, select “gifts for her,” and you’ll find Kitchen Aid stand mixers and brightly colored kitchen appliances and utensils.

Men grill because it’s supposed to be a “manly” thing to do and that’s it. Food Network sets up its grilling shows as if grilling is “manly” somehow. It’s all just silly.

Traditionally in the U.S., anyway, the man is supposed to tend the meaty stuff outside while the little lady prepares the vegetables and side dishes in the kitchen. It’s all a very stupid prescription for gender roles that people inexplicably fall into. My dad has always been the griller of the family for no reason other than when he or anyone else wants something on the grill, that’s a thing the guy is supposed to do. It’s not innate. It’s just a cultural norm.

R4 I've also noticed that around the world. I agree it's the old hunting instinct. Though to look that most dads in the backyard they couldn't pursue a widdle wabbit.

A co-worker invited us for Bar-B-Que. We had visions of hot dogs and hamburgers. Turned out to be some beef mush from a can. .

What R9 said.

It's the one "cooking thing" that they can do that "facilitates their masculine image" so, of course they're "obsessed" with it.

Doesn't it seem weird that human men, flamboyant gays excepted, are so drab in comparison with human women when, in the rest of nature, the males are the colorful, beautiful, ostentatious ones?

My dad is way more into the meat market than barbecuing. He loves to go spend $100 on meats but he never cooks it.

Maybe because deep in his little heart of hearts, every straight is a hard-wired Neanderthal, OP? You know, hunting, gathering, the thrill of the kill?

You say you want some evolution? Hang out with we "sissy boys," instead.

Well it is pretty delicious.

R13 That’s not really true across the board. Your view is based on a few different paradigms that are dependent on subjective notions.

In the animal kingdom across the board, there is great variability. In many species, as you state, males are more flamboyant and attract females with their “beauty.” This isn’t always the case. In some species, the female is more colorful or more ornate (eclectus parrot is one example in which both sexes are colorful, differently, and one may be more beautiful than the other depending on the viewer’s opinion). In many, the female is much larger (see the anglerfish) and the male is a tiny little nondescript critter that attaches itself like a parasite to her. In many species there is no physical sexual dimorphism at all (freshwater angelfishes, for example), and the “beauty” you speak of may be a chemical attractant pheromone or something else. And then there are animals such as clownfishes in which the male/female dichotomy is based solely on hierarchy, and the fishes transition from one sex to another.

And the common understanding that female human beings are “more beautiful” than males is subjective and it’s actually at odds with our interpretation of other animals’ beauty relating to their ornateness. A good comparison is the African lion: you might call the male lion “more beautiful” because of its mane, compared with the sleeker, elegant lioness that has no mane. Men naturally have beards that would grow long and, combined with long hair, would be very akin to the mane of a male lion. We don’t think about ourselves this way, but if human beings were naked and didn’t shave and cut our hair, our sexual dimorphism would be more like a lion/lioness than we probably want to think. Instead, we think women are “more beautiful” and in our minds relate this to birds, fishes, etc. whose males may be more vibrant and ornate—but women’s color and ornateness is all constructed out of clothes, powders, creams, piercings, hairpieces and plastic eyelashes glued to the body. It’s not “natural” in the sense that it’s not a natural outgrowth of the body and so to suggest that women are naturally more beautiful than men in the sense many male animals are more beautiful than their female counterparts is a real fallacy.

It's the male version of being a FRAU.

Gay men like OP who view straight men as some type of male that is inherently different And exotic annoy me. OP is holding onto old divisive tropes that create barriers.

“Gifts for HIM.” An unnecessarily elaborate set of cooking implements in a “manly” tool box-type carrier.

Make the carrier pink and include an oven mitt, and suddenly it’s an indoor cooktop grilling set for when the big man’s grilling party gets rained out.

It’s just people buying into assigned roles. Really fucking stupid.

One of Zuckerberg's favorite past times... very straight, very male, very human.

It goes back to the times when the human race was still living in caves and the tribe got together to eat. Human connection / interaction, aka socializing, and eating are two core needs of humans.

Zuckerberg. Ugh. I hope he chokes to death on some of his barbecue.

Joke’s on you, R23. I only eat one thing, and you can’t choke on freedom!

Zuckerberg means "Sugar Mountain" in German.

Zuckerberg wants to look relatable so people support his political ambitions.

Fire is important. A straight man can feel like a modern Prometheus or wizard using his superpower to turn raw patties, carcasses and links into glistening, sumptuous, grill-scarred eats with goodness gracious! GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

I think it is the hunter gatherer mentality.

"Going to live on Zuckerberg,

With the barkers and the colored balloons . . ."

Doesn't sound trippy enough, R25. I'll work on it.

It's the oldest type of human cooking, going back to times where men hunted and skinned and fire roasted their catch. They took pride in feeding those they were responsible for and the knowledge that because of their efforts, their Klan is fed and will survive. It's practically hard wired in the male DNA; despite the need no longer being necessary.

Where else is a macho straight guy going to wear his gingham shirt and teal belt?

Does it help them to attract stinkfish?

He's STYLISH, R31, goddammit!

The only "grillmaster" that I know is my brother who is a reasonably butch straight guy living in the suburbs with his wife and kids. Now that I think about it, he may grill relatively often (they live in the south where it's warm year-round) out of an obligation to use the expensive gas grill that his in-laws bought for him. It's a very fancy machine and he probably doesn't want to upset them by letting it sit in a corner unused. Also, he's a shit cook in the kitchen so grilling is probably the only way that he knows how to cook meat.

Just a hunch. Maybe I'll ask him when I see him: "Do you actually enjoy doing this? Do you look forward to it? Is it a highlight of your day?" I suspect that the answer will be No but now I'm curious about it.

Good point OP - it’s a masculine thing. I also think it’s an excuse for them to not socialize. A lot of straight married guys have minimal social skills for chit chat - except about sports and work. It’s a sad and boring life.

It's the meat, OP. It's primal.

Subliminally, they really like eating meat.

Even though it's gotten better in recent years, many people still seem to use BBQ/barbecue synonymously with grilling. Barbecue means LOW AND SLOW, not quickly cooking burgers, hot dogs, chicken, etc. on a grill.

Yes, dear. We know that, dear.

Yall’s Stereotypical, exotic View of straight men explains a lot about why you guys think so weirdly.

In North Carolina, “barbecue” requires use of bbq sauce. Otherwise, it’s only grilling

You get to drink beer or a cool drink, be outside in the outdoors. Usually, the meat is the focal point of the meal. There's lots of checking (is it done yet?) and anticipation. If you're lucky, you just "man" the grill and people bring stuff to you (raw meat) and take stuff away (cooked meat). You can just stand there and tend to the meat.

[quote]You can just stand there and tend to the meat.

Daddy!

Yeah, it’s a dude thing. It feels so primal and freeing

Pics of hot guys bbqing?

These straight men simply want their meat to be touched and hoovered — and to be told how good it tastes.

And another thing str8 guys are into, Big Time: chili cookoffs. I guess because of all the beans and farting.

Mmmm... Meat, Fire, sizzling fat, what's not to like unless you're vegan or vegetarian? There is a gay bloke on my block who is constantly grilling... Even in the dead of winter. It would appear he only lives on grilled meat and BBQ.

Study show grilled meat is very bad for you and is a leading carcinogen.

Charcoal grilled is very unhealthy

R49 Everything causes cancer.

[quote] Even though it's gotten better in recent years, many people still seem to use BBQ/barbecue synonymously with grilling. Barbecue means LOW AND SLOW, not quickly cooking burgers, hot dogs, chicken, etc. on a grill.

Thanks for that explanation. I'm not a native-English speaker and barbecue and grill are both translated the same into my language. I honestly had no idea there was any difference between the two. But it's still the word barbecue, not grilling, that brings stereotypical images like this one to my mind:

You can (and many people do) put bbq sauce on grilled meat. So that is a big part of why the terms are used synonymously.

I've never been the biggest fan of bbq sauce at all... I think it's the sweetness.

R56, you can’t be S̶o̶u̶t̶h̶e̶r̶n̶ American.

Is OP the same person who claims any gay guy who likes team sports is "faking it"?

I could learn to like barbecue.

The grill is where all the DL masc "bros" like to hang out and chill with each other, while their frau wives drink wine and gossip in the kitchen.

Then when the grill guys are nice and drunk, they can sneak off into the garage and suck each other off.

That's why "straight" guys like to grill.

Careful R59, wieners burn easy.

R60, you're a crazy person.

God, Zuckerberg is such bore! Those "friends" clearly would get fired if they didn't show up.

Men like to cook when there's danger involved.

Go easy on grilled meat if you don't want to end up like this, ladies!

Straight men are primitive. They basically act like cavemen.

Grilling is a fun way to cook. It's easy, and you can hang out and drink a beer while you're cooking.

The other good thing about grilling is the taste of the meat. There's nothing like a grilled steak, or ribs, or sausages. The nice char, the smoky flavor.... YUM!

As long as a dude is masculine, It’s all good

I enjoy eating food that's been barbecued. I don't care which gender does the grilling or if they're gay or straight.

As long as I don't have to sit outdoors to eat or talk sports and cars with the other guests, I'm always up for going to a barbecue.

And yes, I am fun at parties.

Maybe it's an american thing. In my country, stereotypical straight males are just into football, hookers and beer. We don't do a lot of barbecue around here

What country?

Queensland?

I’m as queer as a 3 dollar bill and I absolutely love to grill. My favorite is a butter drenched rib-eye steak with slightly melted Gorgonzola added on top.

Doesn't everyone like playing with their meat?

R60 needs to take his lame ass fantasy bullshit to Nifty.org and stay the fuck there.

R7, I'm with you. I'm a gay man who will use the outdoor grill all year long. It beats scrubbing another dirty pan.

My father never barbecued in his life. A few times in my childhood we had a “cookout” where he overfried burgers on a charcoal grill but he didn’t like cleaning the grill. He only did it about 3 times.

r77, see r76.

Because they get peace and quiet from all the other frauish demands

My BIL spent $1900 on one of those green eggs. I think he's used it a half dozen times to BBQ hotdogs and frozen burgers.

R80 - you’re brother-in-law is an idiot. I have the same idiot BIL.

R80 That's the fugliest grill I've ever seen. I wouldn't want to have that monstrosity sitting in my backyard.

I agree with R3 and R15 and R44.

It's in the nature of many men, not just straight, not just older guys. We are men, we like fire, we like meat, we like fish, we gather around the flames. When my friends and family barbecue or grill, I want to light the fire and take charge of the grill. One of the guys above said it already, but once the fire is on, the boys, men, gay guys, old guys, young guys gather around the trough.

I hardly ever eat red meat anymore, unless it's at an outdoor barbecue then all bets are off. Lamb, pork, ribs, burgers, steaks, I'm suddenly a neanderthal.

I'll also take over the grill from my boyfriend, my father, my brothers and my friends.

[quote]once the fire is on, the boys, men, gay guys, old guys, young guys gather around the trough.

To put the fire out?