Let's be the nation state, DataLoungia

Can it include the small village D'atalia Longue known for the finest caftans far and wide?

I'm the national formal dress: caftan

I'm the "subscriber only" paywall Muriel is going to install because you're having too much fun.

I'm the four quarters of the escutcheon...

Upper left — silver colander on a chartreuse background

Upper right — turkey meatballs and two towels on slimming vertical stripes

Lower left — raging grease fire on Luft blue

Lower right — crossed canes on U-Haul orange

I am r3. I lost my citizenship because I am an obsessive fangirl. I decamped to a stalker site that welcomes my brand of 'fun.'

Double WWs, were they mine to give, for r4. One for such a clever escutcheon design. The second for using the word "escutcheon" in the first place.

I am the police force, consisting exclusively of grammar nazis.

We WILL police your language and taste, and we have the sharpest uniforms known to man. Think SS meets Carabinieri, and bow down, bitches!

Riiiight, r5. Can't beat those "stalker sites" for Julian Morris and the Marvelous Midwestern Towns.

The State Radio:

I'm the huge animated billboards in every city showing the Sure Jan gif on an endless loop.

Here's Sara modelling our national dress, or cape if you prefer.

I'm Bernadette. My picture is on the 100 denomination of the currency, the Sondheim.

I'm the execution squad coming for r10. Not every Datalounge cliche needs to be perpetuated. Some should be exterminated.

I'm the national anthem, unlike other nations' anthems I'm a piece of slam poetry written by a gender fluid person of color.

I’m President Present Hole.

I’m the nation state boundaries. I WILL be respected now so you won’t be thrown in jail THEN.

Will we have amicable relations or constantly be at war with our neighbors, the Principality of Caftania?

It would have t be a city-state

Pretty sure it’s war, R17

I’m the eternal flame burning in memory of our war dead. For seventy-six years I’ve been tended to by Clarence, the hottest twinkalike in our land.

My purifying heat — along with good genes, consistent use of Retin-A and spf 50, a sensible diet and lots of water — has been both a blessing and a curse to Clarence.

I'm the official life expectancy of 28.

It's true, no one in DataLoungia looks any older than that!

Our method of capitol punishment?

Will we have our own real life princess like Catherine Oxenberg?

Oh for chrissakes, r14. Do you honestly believe we could get a consensus on a national anthem?

I'm the fetid, marshy swamplands region known as the Cheryl Bottoms, in honor of its most famous daughter. I have been officially designated as uninhabitable by the DataLoungia Environmental Protection Agency.

I'm the pedos pushing for a referendum to do away with the age of consent.

Remember that year when Elizabeth and Dina attended the DL Film Fest in native garb?

I take it that all of you justifying this by saying that Canada doesn't have black and brown people aren't familiar with Canada's treatment of its Indigenous peoples.

No, no, OP.

The correct name of this principality is CAFTANIA.

Two staples of the native cuisine are cak and graxy.

I'm the complete lack of books on angioplasty in our nation's public libraries.

I’m the national custom of posting in righteous anger on the wrong thread like R28.

R31

MAYAM?

MAYAM!

I’m the 50th celebration of our independence, although we don’t look a day over 26.

[quote] although we don’t look a day over 26.

Ironic that the DL will actually turn 25 next year!

The bridge to the anthem is “Troll Frau Troll Frau”. On the descant a casistrato sings “Does her pussy stink”

I'm a government funded programme to convert the bisexuals, that aims to just make them choose one or the other, because "true bisexuality" simply does not exist. If they do pick the breeder lifestyle, they're immediately deported to Flyoverstani.

I'm the trans who lay the first stone in the nation's foundation.

I'm the national currency -- Meth!

I’m the immigration authority. Applicants must present proof of birth AFTER 1996 and unfettered access to their social media. Those selected for advancement may be required to submit to a personal interview. It is not possible to say in advance how long the personal interview will take, but it would be prudent not to schedule anything important for 48 hours after the appointment.

Will the UN allow us to have a caftan-shaped flag?

Like the Russian Federation, our boundaries, once stated, may be changed without notice or explanation. You are on notice now, and you will not be reminded later. Deal with it or don’t. Just don’t whine about it if we ghost you.

Shall our national bird be the Peacock?

I am the Tomb of the Unknown Foreskin. I commemorate all the uncut cocks thrust through glory holes.

Secretary of State Julianne Moore.

Seriously.

A state dinner with foreign dignitaries will consist of the Once Around the Garden salad bar.

For our closest allies, like officials from Earingstanza, we offer the Autumn Harvest salad bar.

I am a "johnson", a DataLoungia standard unit of linear measure that is equal to both (a) the self-reported length of the average DataLoungia erect penis; and (b) 12 inches, imperial.

DataLoungia leaders take the oath of office by raising their right had and placing their left on our bible...

*hand

I'm the Emergency Alert System. In case of an actual emergency, instead of a high pitched tone, you will hear this:

We used to like to take the train into the Capitol and stroll the Avenue of the Twinks, then stop at the abortion clinic for ice cream.

r29, see r17. Caftania is our NEIGHBOR.

[quote]I’m the eternal flame burning in memory of our war dead. For seventy-six years I’ve been tended to by Clarence, the hottest twinkalike in our land.

So Clarence is the Eternal Flamer?

[quote]Our method of capitol punishment?

If the inability to distinguish between "capitol" and "capital" is a CAPITAL offense, you'll find out soon.

No white caftans after Labor Day.

The train? Oh Mary Margaret you're hilarious!

We are always greeted at the transportation center by our fleet of handi-capable golf carts with shirtless drivers for the men and lady golf players for the women. There's a parliamentary procedure on how to address the Trans community but it's stalled in committee as they're still deciding on pictographs for the bathroom doors.

[quote]Caftania is our NEIGHBOR.

For now.

Please rise for our national anthem.

I'm our patron saint.. MARY!!

R57 Caftania's national anthem is I Will Survive

Who’s on the currency?

1 Meth coin—Elaborate Scenario Troll

2 Meth coin—Homosex Troll

5 Meth note—Cheryl

10 Meth Note—Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder Co.

20 Meth note—Marcia Brady

50 Meth note—Mincing Prisspot

100 Meth note—Auntie Mame

We are the Maiden Aunt Brigade, which enforces moral standards in Caftania. We have secret police powers and like the lictors of Rome, the power to carry out the sentences immediately and in public regarding Millennials' transgressions.

Will we drain the pasta or not? Will we call it sauce or gravy? Will we make the sauce from scratch, or commit the sin of buying it already made in jars, as they do in Flyoverstan?

Speaking of Flyoverstan, as an especially cruel punishment, we will banish law breakers to Flyoverstan.

I'm the mandatory rotary phones that must be in every home.

With all due respect to r39, the currency of the realm is Scorn.

I'm the state television service. I have a daily 15 minute news bulletin on the activities of the latest Instahos and 23 hours and 45 minutes of Golden Girls re-runs.

Our name is Georgia and her name is Shannie. We your fly intendets for your fly today. Fank you for choicing DaLoungia Airlined!

Coffee, tea, or tea?

Please be advised that the Instahoe National Forest is a protected federal space. Do not disturb the hoes or try to take any home with you. Look but don't touch, gurls!

[quote]Will we make the sauce from scratch, or commit the sin of buying it already made in jars

Mass-produced sauce in jars will not be sold in Dataloungia, except on the black market, which some wag will christen "the red market."

The news on State run TV is only hosted Mon - Fri by Susan Richardson and weekends by Donna Pescow .

All TV shows starring

Oprah

And Movies starring

Tom Cruise

John Travolta

Are BANNED UNTIL THEY FALL OUT OF THE CLOSET .

How is the weather in Russia?

Welp, such a volume of posts. You are a PR shill.

Oof, Meghan Markle needs to wear her hair natural, in an afro. No I'm NOT racist.

Meh, Harry Styles is a closet case. No I'm NOT homophobic.

[quote]I'm the mandatory rotary phones that must be in every home.

Where's your friend the pencil, r65? Can't dial a phone without a pencil in DataLoungia.

Come visit us in the ghetto.

[Quote]Shall our national bird be the Peacock?

It would be more appropriate to have it be the peacunt.

I’m national animal of dL. I’m admired for my beauty and lack of usefulness. Plus I freak out frau’s with allergies

[quote]23 hours and 45 minutes of Golden Girls re-runs

How dare you deprive us of 24 hours of around the clock Golden Girls! Talk about cruel and unusual punishment!!

I'm Judy Garland, DataLoungia's national hero. There's a statue erected of me in every town square. There's a public holiday on my birthday and a national day of mourning on the anniversary of my death. It is illegal and punishable by death to speak ill of me in DataLoungia.

I'm the Joan Crawford Centre For Abused Children

I'm the lube dispenser and glory hole mandatory in every public toilet

I'm the Spaz Troll

The first issue of the DataLoungia postage stamp will feature Justin's rear end. Others to follow.

I'm The Faye Dunaway Centre For Mental Health Research, there's a modern sculpture of a giant wire hanger at our entrance

I claim my birthright as your Queen.

I am Cuntish, the official language of DataLoungia

Old Cuntish, of course.

I’m the attractive twink tourists, kidnapped by the gaystapo and sold into sexual slavery as soon as I step off the plane.

I am the original name of the country, DataLoungeLand. Here to state my boundaries.

I'm the Kam and Bry Memorial Correctional Institute for Killer Twinks.

R87 Old Church Cuntish for High Holy Days. It's the same as Old Cuntish, but with a lisp. A bigger lisp, anyway.

All male children in DataLoungia are required to take classes in Bitchery, likewise girls have to take classes in Faghaggery

r91 The holiest of Holy Days being 22 June, Judy's death anniversary. We sing the national anthem Somewhere Over The Rainbow in Old Church Cuntish. All children are given benzos and Nembutal out of respect for Judy. Our Bible is Mommie Dearest written in Ancient Cuntish

I'm the Burke Ramsey Pineapple juice bar franchise .

THE SKY IS ALWAYS BLUE IN DATALOUNGIA

I'M THE Cheryl Center for Vaginal studies .

It's illegal to be a frau in DataLoungia. Like the roundup and persecution of Jews in Nazi Germany, Frau are rounded up and sent to concentration camps. DataLoungia citizens are encouraged to report women they know to be frau, The Frau Gestapo routinely search DataLoungia for Frau. At the concentration camps the frau are forced to wear faded, ill-fitting and unironed clothes. Their hair is cut dyke short and they are not allowed to use shampoo or conditioner. They are not allowed to talk or use social media, scrapbooking and quilting is strictly forbidden. Dormitories are kept filthy, bedding is never changed and cleaning is unheard of.

^that is a vile lie.

We're the Dataloungia branches of Chick-Fil-A and Hobby Lobby. We're only open on Sundays.

I'm The Blanche Deveraux Centre For Sexual Health. I'm also The Patsy Ramsay Formerly of Boulder, Colorado Motherhood Centre

I'm the national airline that requires all passengers to fly with emotional support Hippos

I'm St Olaf, the capital of DataLoungia

In the middle ages, Frau were burnt at the stake in town squares in DataLoungia.

Whatsh do I do in DataLshoungia?

All citizens shall be provided with a free gym membership. Citizens must spend five hours per week pursuing spirituality at the gym. Anyone over the age of 35 will be deported back to the United States.

I'm Georgia the down syndrome girl and I'm President of DataLoungia because I wanted to be!

I'm the antibiotics and Prep that's put into DataLoungia's water like fluoride

I'm the Jackie On Assistance Homeless Shelter

I'm The Karen Carpenter Centre For The Morbidly Obese (bring your own food)

[quote]I'm Georgia the down syndrome girl and I'm President of DataLoungia because I wanted to be!

And I'm Doris from Georgia, who called in when Liza was on HSN.

I'm the elected president, Joan Collins.

R110 Hello Georgia! I have a vagina!

r112 oops. You're Doris, I'm Georgia. My bad. My bum smells

Verificatia of size meat upon entry. It says so right there on the great Statue of Priapus on Pron Island.

Not at all funny, r88.

I’m Pleasure Island, where gaylings who misbehave get sent and end up transforming into insatiable bottoms.

^as if 85% weren’t insatiable bottoms to begin with

I am the Maharincess of Caftania. I come in peace to sample your renowned cak and graxy... and your circumcised men.

I'm the DataLoungia Civil War, otherwise known as the Battle of the Cut vs. the Uncut. I lasted 9 years and left 850,000 DataLoungians dead.

I’m DataLoungia’s version of the Smithsonian.

I'm the statue in town square of DataLounge's beloved Connie Ford with a dishtowel on her shoulder. The inscription on the statue reads, "Ain't that a Kick in the Cunt."

This is Georgia, I'll be you flight attendant today on DataLoungia Airways. Fasten you seatbelts I need to poo

Georgia, where's my Red Dragon Cheddar and Helenesque on ice?

I'm this thread becoming less funny by the second.

r123 oops, I put cheese in my gina….but you can still have it, I get it....

I'm the Shit Brickhouse monument and yearly Gingham Dress Parade.

I'm the column of BLUE that Joey Luft likes. We have someone come by to walk him back to his apartment daily.

I'm the pervasive gin and despair.

Cheryl, Erna, Muriel, and Mary are Dataloungia's congressional Squad. But, because Cheryl's pussy stinks so badly, she can only be contacted via Skype.

I'm the official coat of arms of a hand clutching pearls

Je suis l'état sécessioniste de Datalongie Libre. Les bons citoyens datalongiens dénoncent la police de la langue et l'hégémonie anglaise. Vive la différence !

I volunteer once a week down at the VMW Home (Veterans of Mayonnaise Wars). It's a nice place, bright and cheery and the residents are friendly for the most part. I play cards with them, we have sing-a-longs of old songs (early Madonna, Hansen, stuff like that). Once in awhile a couple of the old codgers will get into a fight - DUKES! HELLMAN'S! It's kind of sweet and usually doesn't get to raucous. The only place I try avoid is going near the dementia ward. We call them the "Miracle Whippers." Sad, really. Some of them don't even seem human. Just bags of bones and skin, often sitting in their own filth screeching or mumbling nonsense.

I'm Vivian Vance ! I'm a National Treasure of DataLoungia. I am arguably THE most prominent pop culture icon in all of DataLoungia.

Please , help support the Vivian Vance Center for the Arts. You can help contribute to the DataLoungia's National Endowment for the Arts by purchasing a vanity license plate which reads, " I've had sufficient. "

Isn’t it “I have sufficient,” dear?

There is some DL GOLD in here.

I am Muriel, the Queen.

I am a French language queen. I emigrated from Ohio.

I'm the official gardener. I make sure that the cilantro is NEVER planted next to the parsley

I'm the CEO of DICK - the Dataloungia Institute of Carnal Knowledge

I am Datalongia's unofficial national anthem, "I'll Plant My Own Tree," exemplifying Dataloungia's independence, self-sufficiency, and go-it-alone defiance. Nah, it was chosen because it's camp!

I am Dataloungia's roads, paved entirely with yellow bricks.

I’m the “rest camps” where the elder gays are herded.

We break out regularly.

I'm Dataloungia's semi-official delicacy: nutloaf. Except at Christmas, when it's Christmas Fruitcake, but only if you ask nicely and place your order on time with *no special requests*

I'm the sister cities, Sodom and Gomorrah.

I'm one of the smoking gargoyles marking the presence of one of DataLoungia's discount whorehouses. I used to just sit on a ledge and serve as the butt of your jokes and ESTs, but since the Maiden Aunt Brigade forced legislation banning the presentation of elderhole in storefront windows, I've found new meaning in life.

#Blessed

Silly R136, “Muriel” is the title of our leader, not her name.

We have no shortage of queens.

I'm the [bold]National Nacreous Layer of Permacum Highway[/bold]. I go nowhere, traffic of all kinds is prohibited, but somehow I keep getting more and more deposits.

I'm DataLoungia diety Barbra. There's a shrine devoted to me in every home (left side only). There's also a chain of underground shopping malls called Barbra in every DataLoungia town.

I'm the (Elizabeth) Chambers of Commerce, currently running at a loss due to negligent leadership and embezzlement.

I'm Cher, I have a permanent residency in St Olaf, Dataloungia for all of eternity

I am the Chrissy Metz volcano. I could blow at any time, from any orifice.

I am border control

I'm the lone protester shouting at passer-bys with a bullhorn to help end local corporate greed.

SAY NO TO BIG LUBE!

I’m the Dataloungia Michfest grounds.

Well, obviously all boundaries are stated.

I'm Presidentessa-for-Life and Cockgobbler-At-Arms Aaron Schock. And please meet my First Lady, Miss Brian Sims.

I am Charlene. My song, I've never been to me, will be heard throughout the realm.

I've been to Caftania, but I've never been to me.

Will there be an principality of Earringistan? Helen Roper will be an official.

^No. There will not.

What faces will be carved into the Dataloungia Mt. Rushmore?

Joan and Dorothy Faye can be combined, to save space - -

R160 We’re going with holograms at Mount Dataloungia. That way, we can literally cancel anyone with feet of clay.

[Quote] What faces will be carved into the Dataloungia Mt. Rushmore?

We first need to get CZJ plastic surgeon to give the present ones a facelift.

She's only 12!!

I am your Mount Rushmore

WHERE. IS. MY. [bold]FACE????[/bold]

Under the right circumstances, I absolutely LOVE being invaded!

We have always been at war with East Caftania.

The lube ration has been increased to two bottles, r168.

We are a group of young, handsome, happy, popular, openly gay men.

DataLoungia is NOT on our vacation bucketlist.

"WHERE. IS. MY. FACE????"

I'm sure there are some leftover bits and pieces at plastic surgery clinics across the land, darling.

I want a land corridor to DataLoungia or I’m invading Poland.

I am the cute notion that Putin is sending hordes of Russian bots to Dataloungia to divide American eldergays against themselves. Because if there's one thing that Putin dreads, it's the idea that orderly and civil discussions of Joan Crawford and Judy Garland's back catalogue could be taking place unmolested.

R172. Don’t be ridiculous. We could never invade Poland.

Dataloungia- penetrating? My caftan is soaked with sweat at the very thought.

So that's what the smell is, r174.

R175 A sprinkle a day does not keep odor away.

If we have a Caftania, we HAVE to have something that acknowledges earrings, we've just got to. If not earringstania, then what?

R177, There is a pair of islands called Big Earring and Little Earring in the Strait of Mary! that separates the Gulf von Furstenberg from the Halston Sea. Big Earring is a party island full of obnoxious young jetsetters with their designer drugs and godawful techno. Little Earring, however, is a quaint, sleepy isle where older gay men retire after aging out of the club scene.

Shouldn't that be Gulf von Fistingburg ?

Trump wants Muriel to dig up dirt on Pete and Chasten in exchange for looking the other way when we thrust into Caftania. Anyone got anything?

Have we got a port? I think we need a port. That way, we can fill the streets with sailors.

Genet Bay has the Port of Querelle.

Welcome to our first National Park: Mount Lushmore, featuring carvings of Liza Minnelli, Helen Lawson, Elaine Stritch, and Truman Capote.

I'm the Civil War between those with dryers and those who fought to keep their heathen clotheslines.

G is forever leading a covert uprising to replace M as our symbol of [italic]Liberté...

We'd have a small, narrow and amazingly youthful berth and the sailors would have to barge in. We'd never have one of those nasty, loose ports. Who know's what's got up in there?

France has its Marianne. Dataloungia has its Erna.

I'm the 3 mile long boardwalk bordered by hedges and various shrubbery on either side that has been designated a environmentally protected cruising spot.

declared*

I'm the Gay Shawn fraus! HE PINGS TO HIGH HEAVEN!!

By the way, have they been exiled from the board or is there still a thread going?

I'm the world's longest continually-operating adult bookstore. My nacreous layer of permacum has been declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Our main export is fat whores.

Our license plate slogan is "Move it Along, Toots"

Be sure to visit The Ernastitute for Scatalogical Inquiries, headed by the renowned Mrs Patrick Campbell. Summer program featuring guest lecturer Danny Thomas and his series 'Women's Empowerment: Breaking The Glass Coffee Table.'

But.....will we call it sauce or gravy? Will we drain the pasta or not?

Will there be home inspections to rid the land of tasteless interiors... oh wait, are tasteless interiors a hetero thing only?

[quote]Will there be home inspections to rid the land of tasteless interiors... oh wait, are tasteless interiors a hetero thing only?

No. No they are not.

Tasteful Friends, the official real estate agency of DataLoungia

Why do we not have any cabinet ministers?

We have closet ministers.

Somers Farkas, Minister of Animal Husbandry

Our voting system consists of a social media rating. The highest rated person every day gets to be King the next day. The one with the lowest rating gets shot in the head.

Dear God, I forgot about that over-cooked rotisserie chicken of a woman, R200

Please remember to vote this week on our border policy with our southern neighbors, the United Queendom of Bel Ami.

We need a team of childcatchers, to keep the streets serene.

I don't care if they go in workhouses or if they're dumped at the border, but I want those squaling brats kept OUT of here!

R204, but there are no children in Dataloungia. Ever since the Dataloungia Uniformed Military Police (DUMP) rounded up the fraus and dropped them off at the Caftanian border, Dataloungia has been gloriously children-free.

Can we talk about the tax breaks for our houses of worship?

The Sacred Hall of Instagay Worship The Saint Olaf Cathedral of the divine Golden Girls The Saint Mary's Hall of MARY Our Lady of Mama's Caged Meat Church

R197 With respect, "Tasteful Friends" is Dataloungia's religious police. It's similar to the Saudi mutawa, but they wear caftans and earrings. They're always on the look out for culottes, bare midriffs and jiggly breasts on women, muffin tops and ridiculous clothes that are age-inappropriate on men. Karens (male and female) are put in stocks and gagged, where Dataloungers may taunt them with subjects like "sauce or gravy?" and "drain or not to drain?".

The Committee for the Defense of the Fey has debated a death sentence for wearing white after Labor Day, but it's stuck on whether it includes bone, ecru and cream. There's another motion to move Labor Day to mid October because it's still warm and why ruin summer?

[quote]r205 but there are no children in Dataloungia. Ever since the Dataloungia Uniformed Military Police (DUMP) rounded up the fraus and dropped them off at the Caftanian border, Dataloungia has been gloriously children-free.

Some of the neices and nephews that are allowed in to visit overstay their visa time allotment.

They must be contained. I have flowerbeds to think of!

I'm a Founding Father.

Where is my statue?

The First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment, a bar or a public toilet to install modesty shields between urinals or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and display said penis, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Will there be enforced tattoo removal, or just heavy taxation?

I see this as being a hotbed of contention, as some will want exemptions. Maybe this is done on a BMI basis?

I am your national dance

"Mayor Pete" will replace "the United States of America" in the Pledge of Allegiance.

R208, Please report these errant children to the Dataloungia Uniformed Military Police ASAP. We will round them up and place them in work centers. We could use their tiny fingers to assemble our cell phones and timepieces.

I'm Dataloungia's Caterer to the Stars ... and if you say something smart, I'll slap you silly.

R216 reminds me. Here is the head of our ministry of health:

I'm the annual Independence Day parade.

r218 Always love a parade. They should be mandatory every month.

But why exactly is the nation of DataLoungia celebrating an Independence Day? What is the nation free from/independent from?

Dataloungia's most famous landmark.

R220, and to this day, we have the uncut calling for those monuments to be taken down.

R220, there have been several community meetings about that. Officiated by the lesbians. Nothing has been accomplished yet

Dataloungia's war memorial

Dollar store pound cake for everyone!

There is talk of adding the turban to caftan and earrings as the national garb, so...

Caftan! Earrings! Turban!!

Make my turban leopard print.

Meth. Has anyone mentioned meth?

*Erna is a cunt* is required on all official documentation.

Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder CO, has just been named head of the Children's Psychiatry Unit at the DataLoungia Memorial Hospital!

Burke has been named Executive Vice President of Child Protective Services

The road signs at all of Dataloungia's border crossings have specific messaging - the welcome sign says "You in danger, gurl" and the exit sign says "Gurl, bye".

R227 is that “Es cunnus Erne” in latin? I’m rusty.

bump

bump

let it die