WTF is there still a Bible in every hotel room?!

There are Bibles in every hotel to remind you that every time you play with your privates you make the saints cry, OP!

Where have you been?

(Just put the Bibles in a drawer so that you don't have to look at them if they bother you that much.)

KI knew of a man who put dollar bills in Gideon bibles , because he thought nobody ever read them.

If you're not interested in reading it, OP, you could... oh I don't know... just leave it in the draw and forget about it. Do you go into hysterics over the contents of the mini bar too?

The Bible is boring and most of its lessons and stories are dumb and/or make no sense. Also it's translated into the most stilted language imaginable. Why would anyone ever want to read it?

Maybe....read them?

Contact the nearest SJW OP and have this blatant violation of your right to freedom of religion go viral.

I've never been bothered by them. I own a couple of Bibles that were sent to me by other people. I'm not religious. But I use them as reference works, and wasn't actually offended when they were gifted to me.

OP breaks into a case of the sweats and the squirts whenever someone wishes him a Merry Christmas.

It's a silent show of might by the religious majority in this country. If you're young enough and you live long enough, you'll definitely see the tables turn on this issue. Seriously doubt there will still be bibles in every hotel room towards the end of the century.

[quote]If you're not interested in reading it, OP, you could... oh I don't know... just leave it in the draw

Oh, dear.

Depends. If you like the hotel, ignore it. If you don't like the hotel, take it with you when you go out and throw it away somewhere. Make them replace it.

The last couple of affordable hotels/motels I've stayed in did not include Bibles. I'm sure forcing Bibles on customers would be a violation of some huge proportion in many people's mind.

OP is lying.

R9 Do you feel the same way when you see someone in a yamulka or a burka? Do you think they're trying to convert you too?

And lies make baby Jesus cry.

The Bible cannot be said to be antigay. Indeed, there are plenty of steamy passages.

I suggest reading the old testament. There is some insane God shit going on in there. You'll find it entertaining an appalling way. Like early John Waters or Almodovar.

The Gospel According to Judas - mmmmm, now that is some steamy stuff!

Peter was jealous of Mary because she was so close to Jesus and because Jesus publicly kissed her and was publicly affectionate toward her.

What a stupid thing to pretend to be offended by.

Guess hotels have good reason not to include The Gospel According to Judas in every room! Woo Hoo!

[Quote] what we should do to them

Burn them.

in a pinch.....cumrag

OP in the hotel room pointing at a Bible

I needed somewhere to put my condoms and lube "discreetly" so when I had someone over, I could just casually open the drawer and have what I need. I was surprised that they still had bibles in the bedside tables. Most hotels have limited the amount of drawers so people don't leave things there...like how many of them block off the space under your bed, so you don't accidentally leave things under there. It's just a square platform.

The bible must have had some kind of powers because I left the condoms and lube in the fucking drawer next to it! I got to my next destination empty handed (I was still on vacation). Fortunately, I was near a Boots drugstore and discovered Durex makes pretty good lube.

I wonder what the maid thought. As a slutty bottom, I had 3 different sized condoms available in a single ziploc. That's probably not something they normally discover.

They gotta pad their numbers somehow.

I wonder if people would so non-chalant if there were a Koran in every hotel room.

I open it up and write “Jesus was a HOMO” on the inside cover

korans work as cumrags just as well as bibles

[quote] non-chalant

Oh, dear.

It's just "nonchalant" one word, dear, no hyphen.

I would not take any more notice of a Koran than I take of a Bible which is none. I have my own reading material, thank you.

I read the Bible everyday before I go to work to give me strength to survive a terrible place Sometimes I get the urge to steal one from a hotel they look so untouched like no one has opened it. Must be a pretty bad sin to do so. I stayed in a fairly nice hotel recently that didn’t have one.

Cool your jets, Ayatollah OP. Live and let live.

OP is an illustration of why Trump won. Smh 🙄

R23 Throw it away OP, just throw it in the nearest bin, but cover it in shit first.

And those cunts saying just ignore it and leave it alone, GO FUCKING DIE. tHE CUNT RELIGIONS, THROUGHOUT HISTORY, HAVE NEVER LEFT US ALONE, SO NOT, IT IS OUR SACRED DUTY to fuck their shit up and never allow their bullshit fantasy nasty shit be normalized

Insert hardcore gay sex pix in them.

To give people who check in to hotels to kill themselves something to read that might change their minds.

Yellow hi-lite all the dirty parts.

r35 Bingo. Not that it works.

R32 needs Jesus.

Yeah, I had a co-worker years ago who checked into a HoJo at the beach and found a body in her room.

The HoJo paid for her to go to six therapy sessions and comped her stay.

R32 seems possessed

R38 That happened to me at the Hotel Cortez.

It was in a hotel room that I decided to finally read what exactly Leviticus said about gays.

After reading the like about not lying with another man, I got really angry about all the other stuff Leviticus forbids that everyone ignores: can’t wear clothes made of more than one cloth, can’t shave, can’t cut your hair, cant eat shellfish, and on and on and on

I always piss on the book and then put it back in the drawer

R41 The bible was poorly translated into English. The line about man lying with another man is actually something like man lying with prostitutes. Clearly men and prostitutes are very different (of course there are male prostitutes...). In other words, man should sleep with someone he loves. Not where sex is a transaction.

What’s with all the churchies here lately?

always leave a little jizz for Leviticus

R44 You don't have to be a "churchie" to not be triggered by a bible to the point you're screaming in all caps are going on a murderous rampage.

I had to look up "Hotel Cortez" because I'm not a big TV watcher.

....in case you feel guilty after butt-fucking....

Do Marriott rooms still have The Book of Mormon (no--not the Broadway musical) in a drawer? They definitely used to.

Some hotels have a "menu" of religious books you can get.

Personally, I'm more into the pillow menu ... but there's both here.

Yes, Marriott still includes The Book Of Mormon. And it doesn’t bother me a bit.

Leviticus is an instruction book to become a priest of Levi. It was never supposed to be a rule book for everyone

R51 Mormons hate you gay ass and have spent millions to limit your rights. Maybe pretend to care

Wait.. do all caps = a murderous rampage now?

I must not be caught up.

The OP is a millennial

[quote]And those cunts saying just ignore it and leave it alone, GO FUCKING DIE. tHE CUNT RELIGIONS, THROUGHOUT HISTORY, HAVE NEVER LEFT US ALONE, SO NOT, IT IS OUR SACRED DUTY to fuck their shit up and never allow their bullshit fantasy nasty shit be normalized

Don't back down now, R54. You're were acting insane and got called out on it. Have the decency to own up to it. No need to try to gaslight anyone into thinking we didn't read what you wrote.

Anyone who gets that upset over a fucking bible hidden in a drawer of a hotel room needs psychiatric help. I'd hate to see you be confronted with an actual stressful situation like a legal or medical situation. Or your roof leaking.

I think the OP needs to go and visit the so-called 'Golden Crescent'.

I have a copy of the King James Bible, that was given to me by an insane lady, after I took care of her cat while she was away for a week. I also have a Bible that was passed down to me from my Mom. I'm Catholic, and the Catholic Bible is different than the King James Bible (that's a clue to a teenager to start questioning things). That's all I got.

R56, you paranoid weirdo cunt, I am R54 and I am not the all caps writer to whom you refer.

I thought (and still think) that equating some DLer's rant with a murderous rampage is dumb hyperbole that should be mocked.

Consider yourself mocked for being a dumb paranoid bitch, too.

Some of y'all need to pick up a bible.

No, R29, steal the Bible if you are so moved. That’s why they are there. You won’t go to jail, or hell, for it. They have more to replace it with.

R59, that rant did seem like the closest thing to a murderous rampage in print, to me, too.

It’s supposed to keep the Evil Spirits away.

R56 Oh dear, I am the SHOUTER. Nor shall I stop, love protesting against every fucking foul religion.

R65 Interesting that you're only obsessed with one religion though...

Listen if it weren't for the bible we wouldn't have had a naked Michael Parks so it's ok by me.

[quote]Depends. If you like the hotel, ignore it. If you don't like the hotel, take it with you when you go out and throw it away somewhere. Make them replace it.

Actually, the hotel doesn't pay for them. The Gideon Organization provides them.

[quote]Leviticus is an instruction book to become a priest of Levi. It was never supposed to be a rule book for everyone

I wear his 501s all the time -- do I qualify to be one of his priests?

Can't we all call a truce? Atheist, Protestant, Catholic, Mormon, and others, Aren't we all DLers? But, I realize it's more fun to argue.

R65 is the kind of guy that would be running the inquisition, in another era. Here’s his job review:

“William shows great [italic] zeal. [/italic] He has quite a [italic] devotion [/italic] to his work, and is [italic] fanatical [/italic] in his attention to detail. I recommend him for promotion as this seems to be his natural [italic] calling. [/italic]

For the person who lost their shit over seeing a Bible, do you react the same way when you see money that says "In God We Trust?" If so, please pack up all your money and send it to me. I'll see that it is properly taken care of.

For that matter, R72, almost 2000 years of Western civilization are built on a foundation of Christianity. He might as well be railing against oxygen. If anyone doesn’t like it, fine, but there are ten times as many people that find the hater’s thinking to be abhorrent.

R49 Yes. Every room. Every affiliate hotel chain, too.

R65 I agree about methodists. They were always pragmatic, sensible and spurning of hysterical, mystical melodrama.

Oh god, R72, 1974 called and they want their joke back.

You are just ancient, honey. Ether that or you're about 13 years old.

I have my bible from Catholic high school theology classes in the 2000's. We beat those things inside and out learning the structures of the narratives and the deeper political and historical significances of the information they relayed. I used to cheat on our "open bible" exams and write what I thought would be exam question answers in the margins for quick reference. Less well behaved boys would use the rice paper pages for rolling papers when in a pinch.

R76 You misspelled either.

That’s how I figure out I’m in a Marriott affiliate actually. I grab most of my hotels last minute on Hotwire or whoever is cheapest. I can’t keep up with who owns the various chains so I check for a BOM.

Very fancy places usually don’t have a Bible. Small mom and pop places sometimes don’t. Pretty much all the chains do. Haven’t seen a Koran yet. I’m an atheist raised Catholic so the bible was never a big part of our religious life. I’ve read parts since to educate myself and have sometimes whipped out the bible in a hotel room just to see the differences between the King James and the bible snippets we were given as kids. It’s kind of insane in a majority Protestant country but I reached adulthood having no idea what Protestants believed but usually I have more fun in hotel hotels I swear!

Two of the biggest differences between Catholics and Protestants is everything about St.Mary and about the Pope.

[quote] St.Mary and about the Pope.

OMG -- are they a couple now?

Protestants are complacent while Catholics are prone to mystical nonsense.

I've stayed at dozens of hotels and motels all over the US and I really did not see any bibles in the rooms. Could you post some of the hotel names that still had bibles in their rooms?

So you can hide your gun, silly!

It would be easier to post those that didn’t. Last weekend I stayed in Loews Hollywood and SpringHill Suites San Diego. Both had bibles. SpringHill also has the BOM. The bible is usually in the drawer of the nightstand or the desk. Marriott Marquis in NYC, Hilton Santa Barbara, Andaz Maui, Thistle London Heathrow and Ibis Nice are hotels I’ve stayed in this year that had a bible. The first thing I do when I get to the room is open every drawer, look under the bed and pull back the duvet.

Funny this topic is brought up because I stayed in a hotel last weekend, and when I saw a bible in the nightstand drawer I was shocked that they still did that sort of thing.

The thing I like about the Gideons' Bibles is that the first few pages are the pithy quotes most needed by those who are alone and without hope.

I always check the Book of Mormon for handwritten messages. I've only found one, and it just said "this book is fiction" followed by URLs for the CES Letter and the ex-Mormon subreddit, but some people go all out.

Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5000 Gideon Bibles.

When I need the space in the drawer (which is rare but has happened when there's 3 to a room) - I put it under the bed (or you could put it on the floor of the closet and put you bags or shoes on top or whatever, to really get it out of the way.) But it's not so big - mostly I ignore it. Some of the Gideon people mean well - they want you to go to heaven ;) It's like when people offer me their prayers I smile and thank them because it's the thought that counts. If they believe that stuff, then they're trying to help me with their woo - whether I believe it is sort of irrelevant.

I may be wrong but I think originally the word "Goodbye" was short for "God be with ye". And Thursday is named after Thor, the god of thunder or whatever. It's just part of the cultural fabric, not always a conspiracy to hurt you.

In Irish “hello” is “Dia dhuit” which means god be with you. And the response is “Dia is Muire duit” which means God and Mary be with you.

R90 reminded me of that.

R66 Oh no, honey, I mistrust them all, do interventions when I can, and when friends join one they thick is cool, I inform on all the shit the religion believes and pushes. Because people stupidly seem to believe the smiley religions like baha'i, hari krishna and buddists are fine with homsexuality and lesbianism, but they are not, just as dark and controlling as islam, judaism and christianity.

So what if there's a bible in your hotel room? Do you feel an inexplicable unease when in its presence? Does your skin burn when you try to touch it?

Find something better to be outraged about you fucking queen.

R93 Cunt off filth frau

In nearly every motel in Utah, eastern Nevada, western Colorado, and southern Idaho, you will find a Book of Mormon rather than a Bible I feel as though the kind of mom-and-pop motels now run across the country by people from India, there are fewer Bibles than used to be found, but that is just a subjective impression, as I have no statistics on that. It's not as though they've replaced them with the Bhagavad Gita, I just don't think they put much emphasis on replacing those that are taken from the room.

What's your problem with Episcopalians, R65? They accept and welcome gays.

R96 Nope,, hate women and gays and I went to a Episcopalian school and the priest raped other pupils and the school found out and did nothing

I agree with 7. I am an early modernist and it's essential to working on the period's texts.

Like it or not, the Bible has informed a lot of European art, literature, music ...

R98 ...murder, corruption, torture

r99, you sound rather limited.

[quote]Cool your jets, Ayatollah OP.

What the hell kind of rightwing jerkoff are we attracting nowadays? This sounds like something an ignorant redneck in the 1970s would say.

[quote]Find something better to be outraged about you fucking queen.

OP isn't even close to outraged.

Just because your far-right idiot ass is on Orange Alert 24/7 because you let Fox News angry up your blood doesn't mean everyone is walking around in a constant state of seethe.

It is nothing to be offended by, bur it is something to be against.

[quote] Some of y'all need to pick up a bible.

I would if I was close enough to throw it at you.

The hotels don't buy the bibles the Gideon society provides them.

I think it's funny everyone's getting irritated with the OP for posing a question, but (unless i missed it), no one has really given a reason as to why a Bible should be in a hotel drawer in the first place. In fact, more than a few responses and jokes make no sense.

People who read the bible religiously would carry their own text - particularly since people seem to be drawn to translations that suit their own particular religious needs (like the King James vs American Standard vs New Revised Standard Versions for example).

So . . .

What function does placing a Bible in a hotel serve, and why do hotels allow it?

R92 is one of those obnoxious atheists who acts just like a fundie, constantly trying to convert everyone around him because he considers it his "calling" to "educate" and bring everyone around to the "right" side.

And of course he runs around telling everyone about how "religious freaks" are trying to convert him, oblivious to the fact he's engaging in the exact same behavior.

I'm agnostic and just leave everyone the fuck alone to believe or not to believe. Nobody tries to convert me and I don't try to convert them. We'll see who was right when we're dead.

For rocky raccoon

To remind you dirty sluts that it's a sin to fornicate with those filthy whores you pick up at truck stops, rest rooms, and seedy bars.

Instead there should be a Jesus picture on the wall in every room, the ones with the eyes that follow you around the room and really can see you commit your evil acts of lust and lewdness.

For those of you who are complaining about finding Bibles in hotel rooms, you must be butt ugly. Is Grindr or Scruff not working for you?

R109: Kinky.

Did anyone else have parents who had a picture of Jesus or the Virgin Mary over their marital bed? Mine did and I still find it so weird.

R101, it originally was “Cool your jets, Ayatollah OP. Live and let live.”

You left off the “Live and let live.” part, for some reason. Kinda dishonest of you.

[quote] R102: Just because your far-right idiot ass is on Orange Alert 24/7 because you let Fox News angry up your blood doesn't mean everyone is walking around in a constant state of seethe.

Reads like a demented rant. Live and let live, Sir,

Right wing Fascists of old were burning books. Why not add the Bible? It’s a Jew book after all.

/s

R114 Agreed. There is more hatred in R102's sentence then there is in an entire prime time line-up on Fox News.

R23 here - I just realized it's possible the maid didn't look in the drawer & what if someone later came in looking for the bible and got a drawer full of condoms and lube? Blessed day!

[quote] r103: It is nothing to be offended by, bur it is something to be against.

I disagree with, but respect this.

R116=liar and bigot. Let's face it, the right has been in a civil war with the United States, with humanity, with decency, and with anything and everything that doesn't promote lies they are too stupid to uphold on their own.

More hysteria from R119. And he wonders why nobody will fuck him. Hence why he's on DL 24/7.

R119 is indeed hysterical, as R120 writes. One need not be Right wing to find his histrionics deplorable.

Let a thousand flowers bloom.

I delivered newspapers to a cranky old lady who made my 10-year old life miserable. I went to collect back-payment once and she closed the door on my face, saying “Not on a Sunday, not on a Sunday”. Well, that was her belief, not mine. I’m sure she was just lonely.

As an adult, there was another cranky old lady on my street. She made everybody miserable. Screamed about how your cars were parked on the street, many times. Then she saw me planting flowers in the tree bins along the street, and I became her best friend. Also, just lonely,

And then she died.

How would you take the oath of pee pee party if there was no Bible in the hotel room?

If someday you decide to read it you will find that the bible was written for every single person individually. If something you read doesn't make sense to you it is because it doesn't pertain to your life at the moment. If you are looking for help with something you can find it in there. I have always marveled at how the Bible was written and how so many people don't take the time to try and look/understand/relate to it. It is completely about life.

Just like the horoscope R124.

R124 Meh sure peoples can sift through it and pick and chose bits are applicable to them. That’s what everyone those even those who claim to be bible literalists. I think it’s a bit disingenuous though to paint the bible as a big self help book. I have noticed that American Christianity has being very influenced by the prosperity gospel and the self help movement especially how it’s practiced by young men and gay men. At the end of the day whatever bets you through the night and I have no issue with someone finding comfort in the bible or any religious text. Still, I can’t help but think it’s a verrry narrow interpretation when Christians focus only on the happy crappy self help quotes and the idea that their beliefs will be rewarded with riches and god health. It’s Instagram Christianity really but it is what most young women and gay men men mean when they tell me they are Christian. Not all. But most in my circles. If they are confronted with any of the darker elements of the faith or even asked about the history of their branch you get a blank stare. I went on a date with a Christian who didn’t even know what a denomination was but he had a positive bible quite ready for every situation.

All of this will change when you elect Marianne Williamson as President. She will bring healing to the world.

You can request they be removed. The hotel doesn’t provide them. They’re provided by groups like the Gideons or Marriott family who place them (and Book of Mormon) in their hotels.

Its a non issue to a hotel to request their removal. Put it in your hotel profile. (Please remove all religious materials, bibles, etc)

[quote]Its a non issue to a hotel to request their removal. Put it in your hotel profile. (Please remove all religious materials, bibles, etc)

Can you ask them to replace it with something else I worship? Like a naked rentboy?

[Quote] You can request they be removed. The hotel doesn’t provide them.

I don't think anyone here is offended by them. We all probably think it is just a waste of time, money and resources in this day and age. Who really wants to read it, probably has a copy of it in their luggage anyway.

Related: have you ever seen anyone reading a bible or religious text in a hotel? I did for the first time in Disneyworld. I saw several families reading from their bibles at the dinner table and many families saying grace before eating. It doesn’t bother me in any way but it’s hard not to chuckle at the sight of people, brows furrowed in devotion mumbling their bible....in Chef Mickeys! There seemed to be correlation too between religious belief and enthusiasm when meeting characters. The families who said grace or read from the bible were often the most vocal and made the biggest spectacles of themselves (the adults) when the characters came to their table.

Write a note in the margins of the first page recommending @ThatBloke_Jesus on Twitter

R129 Alexandra Daddario retweeted a photo a fan posted on Twitter. He'd booked a room at the Hyatt and requested a photo of her on the nightstand in advance. When he checked in he discovered they did (a swimsuit shot from Baywatch no less).

She then tweeted:

[quote]Hi @HyattConcierge next time I stay with you can you put framed photos of my dog around and send a man to my room to lay shirtless on my bed and whisper in my ear that my dog is the cutest dog in the world and I’ve done such a good job raising him.

R126, I know. I was raised Catholic and religious. My nephew started taking his family to a new Church. It didn’t sound Catholic so I asked what denomination it was. Both he and his wife drew a blank, like I asked for the dates of the 30 year’s war.

[quote]If you're not interested in reading it, OP, you could... oh I don't know... just leave it in the draw

How's everything up in Boston, R3?

Leviticus says it's an abomination to lie with a man as with a woman...

...so dammit, the next time your boyfriend asks whether his too-tight clothing makes him look fat, be honest and say 'yes' instead of lying as you'd do with a woman.

Moral quandry solved.

As the link at r105 suggests, this is all the result of some closet cases looking for a cover story to have hotel trysts.

The Gideons estimate 25% of hotel guests read their books. That seems really over-estimated. They always seem unopened, to me.

[quote] korans work as cumrags just as well as bibles

Before Miles was my boyfriend, I used a lot of Koreans as cum rags.

does anyone know what religion or sect those people who stand around tourist attractions and train stations are? There’s usually 2 or 3 of them sitting behind a cardboard cutout or a table with flyers. They don’t say anything or try to stop people, they just sit there. I’ve always been curious who they are and how they have the time and ability to do that because most of their are young enough to still be working.

^ Usually Jehovah's Witnesses I think.

Maybe we should start inserting some counter-religious messages in between the pages.

Usually JWs. Sometimes, you'll see 7th Day Adventists. Both are very pleasant groups of people.

If you want to piss off two groups at once, print out a copy of OT-3 (a/k/a, "the Xenu story") and use it to bookmark Genesis.

[quote]does anyone know what religion or sect those people who stand around tourist attractions and train stations are?

Jehovah's Witness. They are trying to be one of the 144,000 that make it into Heaven. (Even though that's based on a whacked out interpretation of the Scripture).

[quote] I think it's funny everyone's getting irritated with the OP for posing a question, but (unless i missed it), no one has really given a reason as to why a Bible should be in a hotel drawer in the first place.

A few of us told you one common reason--to give pause to people who check in to kill themselves.

[quote]no one has really given a reason as to why a Bible should be in a hotel drawer in the first place.

Reading material when it's a slow night on Grindr.

I've tried reading the bible and it takes me like an hour to get through one page.

I doubt it would deter suicide. It would just remind me I am shitty & slow at reading... if I even noticed I was there.

r28, usually when I am most chalant, I seek to be underwhelmed.

There is balance on DL.

Thank you.

R29, can you recommend something in particular you read that helps you before work? I’m not the religious type, but I did use the Bible to get me through a very bad time when I was a younger person and admittedly I’m going through a tough time with my work. I dread Sundays and feel like giving up on it all by Monday morning.

r145 my favorite passage. I use it when they come to my door. I ask how many JW's are there? Then I ask well there are already way too many to get into heaven since only 144,000will be allowed in so why are you trying to recruit me and make your chances even slimmer. They never answer but do stand there thinking about it.

Who the fuck are these Gideon people?

R152 Who the fuck are these weirdos on here defending religion, FFS learn history you non gay shit heels

Thank you, r124. You're the only one with a combination of both heart and head on this very sad thread.

R154 Oh just fuck off you patronizing cunt

always leave a condom in the bible, or if you've used them all a splash of splooge.

I think the Bibles are there to help people going through hard times (and who may be considering suicide). Something about being in a motel or hotel room alone can feel very desolate and lonely.

Who reads the Gideon Bible?

I'll be in my room alone

Ev'ry Post Meridian

And I'll be with my diary

And that book by Mister Gideon...

Post MERIDIEM r159.

R157 cause bibles are full of fun times for homosexuals, and endless support and advice

Leave them alone for the guest who might read it and find solace if needed.

Use it as toilet paper

Oops, r160! I copy pasted from a transcription posted on a song lyrics website!

And then there is this

And then there's Maude...

I was coming home from the store yesterday. My very cute, fit neighbor Joshua was outside, working on one of his cars. I went into the garage to get some cat food out for the stray cats. My neighbor Tammy was out on our her front porch swing, and yelled out a Hello to me. Joshua had been interrupted by two LDS missionaries, and was doing his best to politely send them on their way. I actually felt bad that I missed the LDS missionaries, since they're rather rare where I live (Ohio). I'm a gay Catholic, and it's not a secret. I chat with everyone, and welcome anyone to chat with me.

The anti-bible guy can be as nutso as he wants: meanwhile, the numbers of out gay clergy are growing.

There was an episode of Maude where Walter found religion. I remember nothing about it except that as usual there were some great lines and great social observations.

The abortion episode, the domestic violence episode, the alcoholism arc, the gay bar episode, the guilty white liberal “backup black” episode, the menopause episode. Maude was good stuff and it would never greenlit today. I watch and cannot believe that this was considered a family sitcom. What the fuck happened to us.

[quote] R153: Who the fuck are these weirdos on here defending religion, FFS learn history you non gay shit heels

Most people aren’t supporting religion so much as being more like “mind your own business” or “live and let live”.

I used to bring a local gay bar guide back to my hotel room, then before leaving, slip a few pages inside so they'd fall out when the next guest opened the bible, they might go out and have some fun. It's God's work.

R153 Atheism is just another religion and their believers are worse than jihadi Muslims.

R170 Gee, if only every fucking religion in the world would take they view of us, that would be very good. Maybe you could send them a memo asking them all to end their endless hatred of homosexualists

R172 I’m an atheist and that’s an unfair statement. They’re no “they” and there’s no belief. If you are talking about the groups of white libertarian dude bros who post atheist videos to YouTube or congregate on Reddit then yep those guys are obnoxious and homophobic and misogynistic. But can hardly be compared to jihadists and as someone who lost family on 9/11 I fucking loathe throwaway comparisons to terrorists. It’s every bit as thoughtless and juvenile as comparing anything you don’t personally like to Nazis.

As someone who has no religion and does not believe in the existence of any God or Gods I have no other word to use than atheist. I do not meet with other atheists, there is no belief system, I don’t discuss my lack of belief on forums because that would be a lot of blank space. It’s not the first time that someone has called the identifier for a total local of religious belief a religion but invariably this episode people have been so accustomed to being around people of faith that they simply cannot envision a lack of belief and what that looks like in practice. I’ve had people ask me “well what do you worship” “well who do you pray to” and been accused of worshipping Satan/money/sex/Hilary Clinton (lol)/“Hollywood”/witches. Again I let it roll off my back because I honestly believe those people just cannot see past their world view and imagine a life where you don’t worship anyone and you don’t think about it anymore than you go around thinking about the fact your eyes are blue or your nipped are pink.

So you can pray your gay away.

Missionaries have to account for every minute of every day. In addition to being door-knocking pests, they’re encouraged to put in “service” time, which they love to do because it’s a break from being pests. So if cute, fit Joshua (Joel’s brother by any chance?) had asked, they would have jumped at the chance to help him fix his car.

This is just something to keep in mind next time you need help drilling a glory hole or hanging a sex swing.

R150 I have been stuck on psalms for years Usually I pick a random page some days it helps more than others. I memorized the 23rd psalm because of the movie A Trip To Bountiful.

r172, not all non-believers are alike. We just agree on the non-existence of The Deity.

Just godless heathens unique in all our individuality.

R106 The answer to your simple question is that a lot of business travellers have nothing to do in the evening in unfamiliar towns. A Bible can pride solace to those who are alone between eating an evening meal and going to sleep.

Oh DEAR, 178 posted this on the 'my friend is in prison for being a pedo' thread....

Friend Arrested and Sentenced The Law should differentiate between 1. Genuine boy sex-abusers. and 2. Celibate boy-porn watchers......

Why are so many christians child rapists? It just seems so common

FUCK, R179 I mean, is the christian pedo,

I *always* rip out Leviticus and Romans’ from every bible I come across in a hotel. They make decent rolling papers in a pinch.

I can't believe people have no idea why a group decided to put bibles in hotel rooms - and why most hoteliers went along with it.

It's 'Merica, mate! Something like 90% of people believe in "God" - and most of them mean the judeo-Christian one. There's some crap in there somewhere (the teachings I mean) that tell you you're suppose to "prose·lytize"- it's like a fucking obligation to try to "spread the good word"

Well if you got the fanatical group, the Gideons, who take this shit LITERALLY - and you've got another group, hoteliers, who were the same fucking kind of people (church-going - Christianity believing) - then voila, of course, both groups are gonna say GREAT FUCKING IDEA. We can spread that word like our Jeebus wants (or Paul or whoever the hell said go out and spread this bullshit)

Yes, I know most hoteliers are now Indians or whatever, but they KNOW the damned population of white people here would give them hell on a skewer if they said - not in my place, mate. They can't say that!! And they don't give a shit. It's a stupid book. when you need to sign your pizza delivery receipt, it gives you a hard surface to put the receipt on to sign it - or to fill our a form or whatever - so you don't have to bend over to the table. See, it's even utilitarian !!

You don't like it? Stick the book in your bag and go throw it in the outside trash. Then the fuckers will have to spend more money replacing it -which is better than sending more money to Trump's reelection campaign which of course they're also doing...

^ Yes, Kamala needs to take a stand about "that fanatical group", the Gideons,

Dear r180, you evil cunt, I went through my posts and could not find the one you attributed to me.

But looking at the post you claim is mine, haven't YOU ever wondered why there are so many Christian child rapists?

Christians seem to embrace depravity and project their crap on others.

re Maude

[quote]I watch and cannot believe that this was considered a family sitcom. What the fuck happened to us.

The rethugs discovered that they could retain political power by revving up the religious nutjobs and bigots

[quote] R173: Gee, if only every fucking religion in the world would take they view of us, that would be very good.

You can’t control the world. You can only control yourself, maybe. Mind your Ps and Qs.

[quote] R180: Oh DEAR, somebody posted this offensive paragraph on this other thread...

R180, You should assemble a dossier. One on each DataLounger. Every typo, every shortcut, every stupid, thoughtless and horrible thing - record it all, and report back. R180, you are the very thing you object to. Obsessive, judging, persecuting. Join the Inquisition, why don’t you?

That all said, take a breath and stop attacking. Look at yourself. A Bible isn’t hurting anybody. You included.

Bible pages make great rolling papers for your joint when you're in a pinch!

Well, they wrote that wine “makes glad the hearts of man”, so I’m sure they’d approve, except for inhaling that ink.

Fun fact: the ink used on beef is made from grape juice. Yes, it is!

R188 It's a trend on all threads right now. Some people constantly check everyones posting history and call them out for something they posted on a completely different topic or post stuff like "OP is also 2,6,9,14" when all he did is reply to different posts. This is still supposed to be an anonymous board so WTF?

My friend, a cartoonist, draws a big penis inside every hotel Bible

R192--- Sorry, but pretty much everyone is a penis cartoonist.

My friend used to draw a cartoon character everywhere. I had to tell him it was a phallic stand-in. A schmoo, I think he called it. I think he stopped drawing it.

Sorry, John, but it is.

Better hotels do not allow for bibles to be left in rooms.

I am sure Motel 6's and Red Rooster Inns across the South have plenty of bibles for you.

Perhaps open it up and stop getting fucked up the ass, you sinner.

Marriotts have bibles and the Book of Mormon, and they are some of the better hotels, sometimes.

I had a religious studies professor tell us the Koran is actually a beautifully written book.

I take one of the complimentary desk pens and scribble out In The Beginning and write above it Once upon a time...

R200 I smash the Bible with the lamp on the nightstand.

there's a reason they're there

they're useful for many reasons

It’s to help Catholics pray that they don’t get pregnant.

catholic boys don't get pregnant, that's why they're perfect

R188 Of course you think pedos are cool. You christians are just neat

you can be surprised by all the useful things you can find in opening a bible

[quote]WTF is there still a Bible in every hotel room?!

Because sailors still have a girl in every port.

"The abortion episode, the domestic violence episode, the alcoholism arc, the gay bar episode, the guilty white liberal “backup black” episode, the menopause episode. Maude was good stuff and it would never greenlit today. I watch and cannot believe that this was considered a family sitcom. What the fuck happened to us."

What are you talking about? That's all latter-day entertainment IS. Lectures, problem dramas, issues, grievance, liberal white guilt...but why go on? It's all crap. And musical theatre in particular has gone right into the crapper because of it.

Aunt Edna gave a young married couple a Bible for their wedding. The couple never opened it, and put it on their shelf. Every time they visited Aunt Edna, she would ask if they’ve been reading their Bible, and of course they said they were, but were not. The years go by and Aunt Edna finally dies. The niece is moved to open the Bible to look for a funereal reading. When she got to psalms, she found a hundred dollar bill.

If you ever want an easy way to de-Christianize someone who's generally logical and doesn't tend towards blind acceptance of authority... challenge them to make a list of the chapters of the New Testament that deal with Jesus's post-Resurrection tour, read them, and report back to you what they've read.

Try not to laugh when they realize that the actual KJV has something like 6 paragraphs in total that are directly related to the time between Jesus' death on the cross and his ascension into heaven... really SHORT paragraphs, almost completely devoid of anything you'd consider a tangible detail.

Try not to laugh even harder when they realize that Jesus wasn't actually walking around in his original body. If Yahweh is an alien, he could have basically let the poor guy die a horrible death on the cross, swept in, disposed of the body, and sent another agent to go meet with his former disciples using intel gathered by surveillance before extracting that agent, then going out for a beer and a good laugh about those tragic h00manz after the mission debriefing.

Roughly a third of the text will leave you wondering whether alleged-resurrected-Jesus was even an actual living person, or just an elaborate augmented-reality hologram, an instance of shared mass-hysteria, or something comparable.

Seriously. I'd venture a guess that 80-90% of people who self-identify as "Christians" have never personally read the specific chapters that form the basis for their entire religion, and have NO IDEA just how sparse the entire theological foundation of Christianity really is. That's why the Church originally wasn't keen on allowing people to read the Bible themselves... the priest could go on for hours and hours over the span of multiple sermons, making it sound like Jesus went on a fabulous extended post-resurrection victory tour. The actual text is rather devoid of meaty details.

R211, *sigh* you try so hard.

In the 4th century, the Church excluded what didn’t sound or read right, to their ears and eyes. There were a lot of writings that got left out because it couldn’t be trusted to be “gospel”.

And most people couldn’t read then, and had the mental capacity that you seem to have.

R211, I suggest you make an hour appointment with a spiritual advisor , to explain why you are so right and he wrong. There was a famous writer who did so, and he did so weekly for over 30 years. You might enjoy it.

In 325, the early church "fathers" voted on what was ans was not included in the Bible.

They made a big mistake by incorporating The Revelation of St John the Divine. It made the Bible by ONE vote. It is a comic book, it needs to be in the Apocrifa with the likes of the Book of Enoch (Angelology).

Well, if you say so, R213.

r214, it was called the First Ecumenical Council.

Google is your friend.

The gospel of Luke made it in the Bible by one vote. Therefore just too many points that are different from the other three gospels

I like the early Church’s conclusion that Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one, yet three. It’s a really advanced concept for the 4th century.

r217, it's also the silliest. God (the father) is an incorporeal being, and differs from "the holy spirit"... how?

I grew up Catholic, and got into a SHITLOAD of trouble in 6th grade for daring to ask my CCD ("sunday school") teacher for any specific example of what "the holy spirit" actually did, or how it meaningfully differed from "the father" (she couldn't think of one & got really flustered when the rest of the class piled on top like a football tackle) 😜

I agree, R218. I was a protestant for my first 14 years and my church leaders told me that 'the holy spirit' did nothing but monitor us all day and night.

I lost interest soon after that.

( I hear some sects call it 'the holy spirit' and others call it 'the holy ghost'.)

Numerology says something about 1 and 3 being great "holy" type numbers but 2 sucks. Also 12's an excellent number (12 apostles).

Can't remember the details but some professor I had years ago explained the belief in numerology at the time - and the use of it in the bible. But it relates to the "Holy Trinity" and explains why you have to have a Holy Ghost for the third one because god knows (excuse the pun) you couldn't have a female like Mary as one of the 3.

Somebody really badly wanted a goddess - the Irish? pre-Christian Italians? - oh I don't know - but anyway, they made up stuff about Mary being a kind of 'demi-goddess' - she was born without sin (Immaculate Conception), didn't have to die (the Assumption) so they only kind of got their goddess back.

Hebrews were such dicks about females.

Oh and the three "wise men" who read the stars and saw that Jesus was born were obviously astrologers.

[Quote] I like the early Church’s conclusion that Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one, yet three. It’s a really advanced concept for the 4th century

And it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. One of many things in religion you’re just supposed to believe... and give your money to the church

R218, these CCD teachers aren't mystical sages. They are, many times, just volunteers. My sister taught and she knows next to nothing. Don’t look to them for the answers of the ages. This may be why the average Catholic idiot is not encouraged to read the Bible without someone to explain it.

Think of a star. It appears as a pinpoint, having only one dimension, yet we know it’s a big ball. Bring the ball closer like the moon. It appears as a disk, having length and width but not depth. It’s two dimensional, yet we know it’s a sphere. Now bring it closer, like a basketball at our feet. We can now see that it has three dimensions, length, width, and depth. It could be the same object, but our ability to perceive it as it is, is limited, so we perceive it differently in each case.

I think of the Trinity that way. We cannot really conceive of it. The three manifestations appear different, but they are only what we can perceive. This is my own conception and I’m sure the Church could explain it better, and your CCD teacher is probably as mystified about it as we all are. It is a mystery.

Wouldn’t it be cool if tarot cards replaced the Bible?

Ian McKellen said that whenever he found a Gideon bible in an American hotel room, he'd rip out of the page of Leviticus that condemned homosexuality (among other things), and throw the page away.

I've loved him for years because of that, and have done the same myself.

A mystery?

Is it a mystery why the fairy godmother turned Cinderella's carriage back into a pumpkin at midnight?

Because fairies work in mysterious ways?

[quote]Oh and the three "wise men" who read the stars and saw that Jesus was born were obviously astrologers.

Go back and read your Bible. There were not three wisemen. There were wisemen bearing three types of gifts. There could have been two, there could have been one hundred. The magi were a group of science minded men. They are mentioned in the book of Daniel. They had been around for hundreds of years and specifically went to Bethlehem based on the teaching of Daniel.

This is hardly worth arguing about because it's all made up, but a quick search gave me this:

The Star of Bethlehem, or Christmas Star, appears only in the nativity story of the Gospel of Matthew, where "wise men from the East" (Magi) are inspired by the star to travel to Jerusalem. There they meet King Herod of Judea, and ask, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews?

The COLDS have an UNseen Goddess who fucks Heavenly Father to pop out spirit babies who then CHOOSE their families and make women pregnant in the corporeal world.

The show Lucifer has a Mormon pantheon of Christian/Biblical/Apocryphal people. Lucifer's mother, the wife of Heavenly Father, was quite hot.

r223, my primary beef with "the trinity" is the fact that the Catholic Church (and many other Christian denominations) regards it as extraordinarily important and a fundamental, non-negotiable belief... yet can't coherently explain WHY it ultimately makes the slightest bit of difference whether or not "a good Catholic" believes it.

It would be like strapping high school Chemistry students into a rack and torturing them until they convince you they believe with all their heart that a proton is composed of two 'up' quarks and a 'down' quark, each with a unique color aspect... killing them for their apostasy if they admit that they don't personally care what color the quarks are, or what their electrical charges are, because it's adequate for their purposes to know that a proton simply has a net charge of +1.

On the hierarchy of Catholic beliefs, belief in "the trinity" ranks close to the absolute top of the list... yet almost NOBODY in the Church, INCLUDING most parish priests, can coherently explain what the fuck they're even talking about, let alone why it genuinely matters and is viewed as such a profoundly important core belief. You can say, "I believe in the holy trinity", admit that you don't have the slightest idea what a holy trinity even IS, let alone why it matters, and the church is cool with that... but admitting that you don't think it's important to believe in something that can't even be properly and unambiguously defined would have historically gotten you classified as a heretic of the worst kind. That's what makes it such total bullshit. The Church (as an institution) considers belief without understanding to be a virtue of "faith" and somehow worthy of esteem.

The trinity was a capitulation to Jews who believed in ONE god and that the Christians, apparently believe in three. So Christians were forced to contrive a linguistic gymnastic that the three faces of Christianity are really the old testament god.

Religious pig lipstick in the shade "Blood of Christ".

R231: you’re doing gymnastics, now.

No idea. I keep my lube and condoms in beside it when I'm whoring and wonder the same thing.

I was right.

No you weren't.

[quote] The gospel of Luke made it in the Bible by one vote.

Can you source this? I've never heard this before.

I hear Saint Paul was rather gay.

R237, was that via drum beats? Or smoke signals?

Dear R238, it was whispered to me between the vestry and the clerestory.

You’re a miserable asshole,. Just sayin’

Stick some pages together with shampoo and leave it up to the reader’s imagination.

I’m going to stay on a hotel tonight that will invariable have a Bible in it.

This thread has given me lots of ideas

R242, people who desecrate hotel Bibles get served cheeseburgers with snot in them.