Porn Plots In Real Life

All of the above

One time a young twink who was selling magazine subscriptions seduced me.

I'm 59 and just hooked up with an 18 yr old student athlete. He just graduated high school and will be attending a very famous US university this fall on an athletic scholarship. Needless to say he's hot as FUCK and I could not help but feel like I was in a dream the entire time. Sweet kid, super hot, big dick...unbelievable. I mean, I'm in good shape ( I work out 5 days a week) but I'm sure I'm older than his parents by a long shot. I sure am glad some guys have daddy issues.

I work for a builder selling new homes Went out to production show and home and end up getting sucked off by the guy. PS He didn't buy a thing!

One time my fat Greek next door neighbor put his hand on my thigh in the guise of helping get my vintage Dodge Dart out of neutral because the gears were stuck. I was thinking about the skid marks on his underwear, since his wife hung them out on the clothesline facing my house. Really hot.

Once a guy was fixing my sink and we smoked a joint together. He went to take a leak and kept the door open and out flopped a huge uncut cock and I sucked it off. Very hot guy.

that's hot, r6

My plumber was fixing fixtures in my bathroom, and asked me to hold something for him while he screwed it in. He ended up fondling me through my pants but it didn't progress to anything beyond that.

Back in the early 90s the hot UPS driver for our area asked to use our phone. Turned out he just wanted a blowie, which I happily gave.

Not sure why but blowing a UPS driver has always been one of my top fantasies. Maybe because I read a story about it once in a magazine called HONCHO and I've jerked off to the idea ever since.

Got blown by an Uber driver once. He was cute (not my type) but that opportunity doesn't pop up every day

I had a three way in a sex shop with the guy working there and another customer. Was good, but over too quickly as the doorbell kept ding-donging and the guy was getting stressed!

Careful what you wish for

HJ by a discount clothing store owner who kept watching me change my clothes.

Of course I left the curtain open as I changed so...

I worked on a cruise ship in my 20s and we were 4 men to a cabin. One night my cabin mate got super drunk and stoned at a party and came home and we started watching straight porn. I started rubbing my cock and he grabbed my hand and put it on his dick. I started rubbing his dick and then went down and sucked him off to completion and swallowed every drop. He actually came within a couple minutes to my surprise!

Did the other two watch, R15?

R16 - the other two were at work!

With a bartender in the bar after it closed.

[quote]I had a three way in a sex shop with the guy working there and another customer.

This is not a porn scenario, it is a Tuesday.

Sucked off a hot star "hetero" athlete at boarding school, 1997. He did indeed have a massive cock.

I was once riding the train into work early one morning. Not paying much attention until I looked up and saw a hunky Mexican guy sitting across from me. He smiled, so I smiled back and nodded. He then saw back, stretched out his legs, and grabbed his crotch. Few other people on the train, and they were oblivious. I subtly grabbed my crotch, then got up and went to stand at the doors. When the doors opened at the next stop, I glanced back at him and bobbed my head, and so he got up and followed me.

We walked half a block and then stepped down into a hidden doorway. We made out, and then I sucked that thick Mexican chorizo until he shot down my throat. If we would have had more time and supplies, I would have let him fuck me - or fucked him.

All three, OP!

Has anyone ever actually seduced a friend's Dad and if so did your friend ever find out?

Similar story to R6: A tradesman had asked to use the loo, and when he came out with his trousers undone, had a huge fat shiny erection with a dumb look on his face. He didn't say anything, just stared at me after looking at it. I asked him if he needed any help with "that". I blew him and his mind. Really fit young Mexican man. Handsome to the point he could've been a model. I wish I had more experiences like this in life.

I was called a liar on a similar thread, but once a utility guy showed up at my door in L.A. to turn off the service (I hadn't payed for a while, and never keep my bills straight) and he came in while I wrote a check. Then I sucked him off.

Coming home from events in drag, I also invited quite a few cab drivers upstairs after settling. Most were thrilled, only a few declined.

I was a junior in college and was hit on by the CEO of the company I worked for part time...he made, what I believe was a suggestion, that he was into a 3 way with him and his wife - declined the very nice offer (I couldn't even think about having sex with a woman) - YIKES!

Been hit on by other "straight" guys in non-gay settings but never followed through and/or was too scared. Probably lots of missed opportunities but can't live your life in regrets (which obviously means I don't have any tattoo's either).

It involved a caftan.

I hooked up with the DirectTV installer. He was a tall guy with Italian looks. We hit it off when he got there, he had wedding ring on his finger so I figured it wouldn't lead to anything. I helped him move my projection tv and to my embarrassment there was a porn DVD underneath. I usually keep my porn hidden. He picked it up, looked at the front and back for a while longer than I was comfortable with. He said 'Huh. Haven't seen this one.' I thought he was just making a joke about it, seeing that I was red faced. He gave it back, went back to his work. I was harder than a rock. It was quiet for a moment then he said 'When I get finished here, you want to watch it with me?' I said 'Yeah, sure. I should probably shower first. He nodded. I got into the shower, he joined me. One of the best fucks I ever had.

Several years ago, I was in a relationship with a narcissistic prick and knew I would be leaving him soon. Our house had a huge yard, and we had two landscapers who were brothers from Mexico City, Roberto and Rafael, who would show up once a week to maintain it. They were both dangerously hot as well as really nice guys (straight and married, as far as I knew), and I would always have cold drinks and sandwiches ready for them. One day, while my (now) ex was out of town on business, I decided to lay out nude in the backyard knowing the landscapers would arrive soon. I had no idea how this would play out –it could have backfired all to hell– but I was jacking my cock and looking right at them with a grin when they came in through the gate. Next thing I knew, I was on all fours, being spit-roasted under a tree all afternoon and pumped so full of their sweet cum multiple times that my jaw and asshole ached for days. Fattest cocks and balls I'd ever seen. Best fucking day of my life.

One of the guys in my group study (masters degree) was so hot I could barely breathe. Everything about him was hot.. hairy legs, smell .. everything. We all got pretty chummy over the months…went out drinking.. got food etc. A lot of us ended up in the all night lab trying to catch up on the massive amount of assignments we had. One night he showed up totally high.. laughing etc. I could barely focus on my work so I gathered my books and started walking out and he asked if he could grab a ride from me. Well… He ended up in my apartment.. got very high and started watching porn. Obviously my inhibitions were completely gone so I reached over and grabbed his dick. His dick was in my mouth in about 5 secs. Sadly the fantasy that I created in my head about him being hung was not realized..Id give him 6c maybe. We fucked around all night. It was fun but he was a little bit fumbly and not sure what to do so the chemistry really wasn’t there.. We stayed friends all through grad school but never fooled around again.

Fucked the hotel busboy on a trip to Brussels.

A friend, who had stayed in that hotel previously, told me about the guy.

I specifically requested Marc when I asked for some extra shaving cream. He came up and I immediately grabbed his ass. Less than 15 minutes later, he went back downstairs with my cum up his ass

Dared a friend to blow me when we were hiking in a lonely place once. Started off as a joke but we ended up doing it when we realized there was no way anyone could see us.

R30 6c is 6 cm? Rather unfortunate

R29 Adn then you woke up, LOL.

R33 6cut and thin. God he was hot but zero chemistry.

Well, there was the time I got it on with a porn star when I was traveling and his second strip show at the nightclub got canceled.

Gross! Girls, please make sure to check your morals before oversharing any ungracious endeavor.

R29 Is on a list somewhere.lol

[quote]r29 Next thing I knew, I was on all fours, being spit-roasted under a tree all afternoon and pumped so full of their sweet cum multiple times that my jaw and asshole ached for days.

First World Real Housewives Of problems.

I had a friend well, a friend of a friend that claimed he hooked up with the dad of a kid that bullied him in high school in a Wal-Mart bathroom, not sure if it really happened but in his defense it was a rumored cruising spot until supposedly a guy hit on someone he shouldn't have and was beaten to a bloody pulp and that kind of ended that.

While in Luxor, Egypt I engaged a driver (early 30's, very masculine and attractive) through the hotel where I was staying. He drove me around and showed me the various sites. Later, in the evening, he invited me to his home and we went up to the roof. He shared a joint (or three) with me and eventually we started to make out. Totally unexpected but very much appreciated.

Taxi driver, flight attendant, sales bottom at Men’s Warehouse, good friend’s boyfriend (so wrong), elevator repairman (in one of the elevators that he locked down in a large NYC building), UPS guy (in a public rest room at Lord & Taylor) , 3 deli delivery guys (one of them went on for years), plumber (also turned into a year-Long affair), my young doorman (repeatedly, he loved to party and joined in if I had people home), neighbor’s bisexual adopted son (another one that went on for years).

I got herpes reading that, R42.

I forgot - a taxi driver in Puerto Vallarta who gave me a tour, got me drugs, and let me fuck him in some motel with a heart-shaped bed (my resort hotel did not allow taxi drivers into the guests’ rooms).

And r43, no STDs ever and HIV negative

You should play the lottery R44.

Twice, when visiting apartments of guys looking for roommates, I've hooked up with the guys.

In neither case did I choose to live in those apartments.

Yeah r46, a lot of the times those guys looking for “roommates” are looking for the two extremes - an anonymous hookup or a life partner.

[quote]I hadn't payed for a while, and never keep my bills straight

You hadn’t what?!

[quote]I specifically requested Marc when I asked for some extra shaving cream. He came up and I immediately grabbed his ass. Less than 15 minutes later, he went back downstairs with my cum up his ass

All that in less than 15 minutes? And you’re bragging?

Jerked off with a hot dude on a public bus. It was a night trip, and not crowded, but still...

What do you all look like? Bodies? What makes these sexual situations so obvious and easy for you all?

I ask, of course, because it's never happened to me. Maybe because I'm I'm only a 4 or 5, on a good day. Though I've been known to be oblivious to signals that only became apparent to me long after the opportunities passed.

[quote] All that in less than 15 minutes? And you’re bragging?

The guy had to get back to his shift

[quote] I ask, of course, because it's never happened to me. Maybe because I'm I'm only a 4 or 5, on a good day.

A friend of mine, who is not a looker in any sense, gets tons of great looking guys.

He has a particular cruising stare that seems to be very effective. I think it's just his self confidence with being so brazen.

I recently saw a similar thing when walking in Chelsea NY. A fat, ugly man stopped and stared at a hot guy walking his dog across the street. The hot guy stopped and stared back. I don't think it led to anything, but the stare worked to at least gain the attention of the hottie.

R41 Funny I have a similar experience while I was in Egypt. A taxi driver later turned into my personal city guide. Handsome masculine hairy guy in his early 40s. We had so much fun back in my hotel room. He even fucked me an hour before I checked out. I fondly remember the sensation of going through the customs in the airport while his cum slowly dripping out my slightly sore hole.

R51, it's an entire thread of This. Never. Happened., so don't sweat it.

Sucked a "straight" co worker off in the bathroom. Went on for months until he was promoted to another department and only associated with senior management. We weren't friends, so I could care less....but his cock was delicious, and I missed it

I don’t understand why people assume since something didn’t happen to them, it not only wouldn’t but [bold]couldn't[/bold] happen to someone else.

I’ve had some of these scenarios myself, most of which I strategically set up myself beforehand. Some worked, some didn’t.

I was a personal trainer in a gym owned by a pastor. Very religious place. I trained a well respected bodybuilder who brought his girlfriend with him. He was incredibly GORGEOUS! Later that night, after the gym closed, he and I had sex in the middle of the basketball court. Amazing stuff. I have a million true stories like these.

Truman Capote said, you can have anyone you want, if you try hard enough. It's just too flattering to be wanted so bad.

Some of these stories are really Nifty!

[quote]r57 I don’t understand why people assume since something didn’t happen to them, it not only wouldn’t but couldn't happen to someone else. I’ve had some of these scenarios myself...

[quote]r59 Truman Capote said, you can have anyone you want, if you try hard enough. It's just too flattering to be wanted so bad.

Sorry, Tru, but that's just not true.

No matter how flattered, I'm quite sure I wouldn't pick him....unless it was some $1,000,000 [italic]IndecentProposal[/italic] situation. Even then, if you're not attracted to someone, it's quite unlikely you'll get aroused enough to finish things.

Very very true. I remember being very horny one night and inviting this guy over that had a humongous dick. I just wanted to ride that thing all night. When he got to my door he was way less attractive than his pictures in fact I was not attracted to him at all. I couldn’t even get hard

Was it Truman Capote, though?? Because he says his flattery always WORKS!!

Like ten years ago I was accosted by two very very drunk sailors during Fleet Week on an empty street in Queens who started by asking directions to the subway and ended by trying to get me to suck their dicks right then and there -- I didn't do it, I'm in a monogamous relationship, but I have several times jerked off thinking about it. It was so incredibly porny

I would.

Hit it off with a hot, shirtless bartender in my college town. I dropped my wingman off at home, then returned to the bar at closing time. Ended up fucking the bartender on the pool table after the rest of the bar staff left. Because I’m classy that way.

Well, that picture's from 1948.

^^ intended for r66

As a police officer, one of my occasional duties is FI-ing (Field Interrogating) random hitchhikers at freeway onramps. One night around midnight, I was questioning a young hitchhiker and started to do a preliminary routine pat-down check. He was wearing old, faded Levis, some kind of flannel shirt, and a pea-coat that hung just below his ass. As I reached around to check his waistband, my hand dropped lower, and I realized I was holding onto bare buttock, with the tips of my fingers in the crack of his ass. He had to have known what was going to happen, but he never said a word about the seat of his Levi's being badly ripped at the seat. When he saw my expression of confusion, he looked me in the eye and SMILED this terribly fetching little smile.

"You could have warned me about that," I told him.

"Hey," he replied. "I didn't think you'd mind. What can I say?"

At that point, it became clear that he would have been a very willing participant in whatever sexual adventures I might want to indulge in. All I had to do was invite him into my cruiser, take a short drive up into the hills for a little mutual entertainment. However, because I value my job and wouldn't want to lose it over something as fleeting as a sexual peccadillo, I did nothing. I removed my hand from the lad's buttock, told him to keep his pea-coat covering his ass while in public, and sent him on his way. I still occasionally flash on that incident when having a private JO session.

Since people already mentioned the roommate situation, I helped my new Village Voice want ads roommate move in and after putting his bed together we had sex, during which I repeatedly said this isn’t a good idea. A few months later he fell for the guy I was dating, but the sting was on them, the roommate was the most vanilla sex I had ever had and the guy I was seeing was into hardcore kink. I let them know that it wasn’t going to work for either of them and got rid of both.

r70 got any more stories, O Man in Uniform?

(insert token crack about frisking me here)

Dear Dataloungers

My name is Howard P. Klingsdorf and I represent the website NIFTY Archives.

While the owners are flattered that so many of you are fans of the site, we do ask that you respect our intellectual property rights and clearly indicate that your stories are works of fiction and that the scenarios have been lifted directly from our website.

Doing so will remove the threat of legal action.

Thank you for your cooperation.

One time I was at this hot straight guy's house and his girlfriend was out for the afternoon.

We started going at it in kitchen and we're in the middle of fucking when she walks in with this giant fucking salad from one of those Tossd places.

But he tells me to keep on fucking him, that she won't be able to see it because of the counter island in the kitchen.

So then it gets really weird. She sits down at the counter with the big salad and he's talking to her like nothing is wrong and I'm still buried deep inside him.

And she's looking at him like "WTF is up, why are you talking like that, all out of breath and ragged."

So she stands up and peeks over the counter, sees what's going on, screams out "Not in front of my salad!!!" and runs off.

We kept on fucking.

2 like porn incidents in my life:

1) worked in a downtown department store. The pro football team was having an unusually good season, and as promotion, had 4 of the players for an autograph signing -- it was my workmate Debbie who noticed X was checking me out...well it was winding up, and they were leaving - he was surrounded by a gaggle of girls, so i went up the escalator to the men's dept. So Im getting one last look, and I see him looking up..... And heading towards the escalator. So I head to a remote part of the sportswear department, and he's right there - so we both act like were shopping during the cruising.. My heart going a mile a minute, hands shaking, I finally grab a couple pair of pants and head to the dressing room. So I'm standing there, thinking I'm a fool to think anything can happen, and the curtain opens. He comes in, and pulls me into him - he's 6'5" and I'm 5'7", so he more or less envelops me... He tilts my head and starts sucking my face. His hand is on my crotch, so I return the favor - this tonsil hockey gropefest lasts about 2 minutes - the dressing room area gets a little busy, he says goodbye and he beats a hasty retreat....

2) at the grocery store, buying some last minute stuff for a cocktail party I'm catering, and im in the meat department, and this guy sides up next to me, and says hi! - I turn and see X, who is a lead in the sitcom Y on NBC. he's in town doing a play, which is nowhere convenient to the grocery in the gay neighborhood that we are in, so we chat about the play, where he's staying, what to make for dinner, and then I basically give him the brush off, because I have this food to deliver. What an idiot. This one goes in the major regret column.....

I was dating this guy for a while that was an out and out hustler,but I was so addicted to the dick I just couldnt stop seeing him (along with half of St. Petersburg Fl) . One friday night we started fucking,and we didnt stop until monday morning. We fucked,slept,fucked,ate,slept,fucked. I had never before or since been so connected to someone sexually. His dick was rubbed raw,and my hole was so pounded out I couldnt walk straight for 3 days (wich was unfortunate as I was a waiter!). We didnt even shower but once,we just fucked like animals. It was almost surreal.

r76's neighbor:

Walking across campus on a beautiful summer day, I saw this hot guy sitting on some steps talking in Italian to two women. I walked past them up the steps and he looked right at me. Beautiful dark eyes, almost black, just my type. I went into the building and before I knew it he was there, motioning me to follow him. We went downstairs to an empty classroom and, well, it turned into an even more beautiful day.

I was a chef at a small guest house in the Caribbean. Combo of sun, rum, and swimming pools led to many porn-like encounters. Once with a married guy on his honeymoon, and an emergency room call to fix the A/C. While on a chair to get to the controls, he unzipped me and blew me.

I've only ever experienced 'almost' situations. Like the time when I was 18 and had just moved to university and was at the university pool one night, very quiet, and there was an open shower - a very hot guy with a great body was showering with his big semi-hard dick flopping around while looking at me. I was too nervous to participate in anything but was so fucking turned on I headed straight to the toilet and bust out a quick load.

Another time I was on holiday and there was a hot muscular guy who seemed to be there with a family at my resort and he and I kept checking each other out, he followed me into the toilets by the outdoor swimming pool but I didn't realise as I'd gone into a cubicle. When I came out I went towards the sink and saw him, he moved towards the cubicle and gestured as if to say "join me?" but again I was young and inexperienced and felt it was too risky so I just left.

I've never had a hot tradie visit my house - just unlucky I guess.

I'm sure that marriage went well R79.

[quote][R70] got any more stories, O Man in Uniform?

Not really all that many, because as I say, I'm not going to jeopardize my job for some quick sucky-fucky. But there have a couple of interesting incidents:

—Back in the day (not all that long ago, actually) when cops couldn't be out at work, I had a very homophobic lieutenant who was obsessed with gay people in a very negative way. I of course gave him a wide berth and had as little to do with him as possible. During the annual department Christmas party at a high-class restaurant, I stepped outside behind some bushes to have a cigarette (don't worry, I quit smoking years ago), not realizing that my least-favorite lieutenant was also there. He had very obviously had several drinks and was feeling no pain whatsoever. We idly chatted for a few minutes when, without any warning, he reached over, grabbed the back of my head and pulled me in for an amazingly passionate kiss—which I (surprisingly) found myself not resisting at all. "Sorry," he said. "Don't be," I replied. And that was that. He continued being his nasty, homophobic self at work and I continued avoiding him. We never spoke of the incident.

—I was in the hospital ER after gouging my leg on a barbed wire fence during a foot pursuit. The intern or PA or whoever he was saw me holding a paper cup of coffee and said that because I'd been drinking hot coffee, he had to take my temperature rectally. Which he did. He kept his hand resting on my ass the entire time. I didn't particularly mind it, but thought it was strange.

—I've had several guys pass me their phone numbers as I was ticketing them.

Sorry none of this is porn-plot worthy, but cops often do get hit on by people of both sexes.

[quote]cops often do get hit on by people of both sexes

and, if i wanted to indulge in a little real-life porn plot of my own, what’s the best cop catnip?

I feel sorry for these basement dwellers who never had a spontaneous hookup and don’t believe in them.

Change your diet and get in shape. If you’re one of the mentally ill dataloungers, maybe hookups won’t happen so much.

But they DO happen. Moreso the hotter you are.

My pizza boy--he delivered.

When I was in college I drove an old VW Bug to school and work. Once, while traveling between the two, I was stopped by for going about 5+ miles over the limit. There was also a slight problem with my lack of insurance (youth!). The cop was a pretty good looking 40ish guy and very friendly, relating stories about his own college life. After some back and forth, he let me off with a warning...he kept looking at my legs in my fairly short shorts. Asked if the address on my license was current and would I be home after 11 when he got off his shift? Did I live alone? I answered 'yes' to all and he showed up about 11:15 with a 6 pack of beer and a voracious appetite, leaving about 2 hours later. Something told me that wasn't the only time he'd done such a thing, and he admitted he'd seen me a few times before and wanted to hook up.

K, r74 is a troll post.

I rented my apartment on a Monday at one, a-singin' "Do lolly, lolly Shicky bum, shicky bum!" Started movin' in it on a Tuesday at two, a-singin' "Do lolly, lolly shicky do, shicky do!"

Wednesday at three I called the phone company, singin', "Hey baby, put a phone in for me!" Thursday at four, he came a-knockin' at my door, singin', "Hey, baby, I'm your telephone man. You just show me where you want it, and I'll put it where I can. I can put it in the bedroom, I can put it in the hall, I can put it in the bathroom, I can hang it on the wall. You can have it with the buzz, you can have it with the ring, and if you really want it, you can have a ding-a-ling, because-a hey baby-- I'm your telephone man!"

Can you believe that? And then he says "Now when other fellas call ya, Tell 'em how it all began." Well, can you imagine? My heart began a-thumpin' and my mind began to fly, and I knew I wasn't dealin' with no ordinary guy! So while he was a-talkin', I was thinkin' up my plan. Then my fingers did the walkin' on the telephone man! Singin', "Hey lolly, lolly, hey lolly, lolly, hey lolly, lolly..." Get it any way you can! Right? Ha, ha, ha, so...

...I got it in the bedroom! And I got it in the hall! And I got it in the bathroom! And he hung it on the wall! I got it with a buzz! And I got it with a ring! And when he told me What my number was I got a ding-a-ling! A-singin' "Hey lolly, lolly hey lolly, lolly, hey lolly, lolly, just-a doin' my thing!"

Ha, ha...I've never done anything like this before...

I was hit on by a dad and son....the only thing that kept it from being totally porn-y is that the dad wasn't very attractive

I hooked up with my doctor

There was a guy I hooked up with after college. I was living at home and my father gave me the keys to his office. He thought I was straight, too. We had sex on his desk!

I love these! More, please!

I ran into a high school friend’s father once while cruising an adult bookstore. I was so mortified I left (I was still in high school at the time)

When I was in my early 20s, and lived in Ridgewood, Queens, I used to have some of the local Latino kids over to watch TV and smoke some weed, with no ulterior motive. Really.

But one day a young dad came over and we smoked, then he picked up my copy of the Village voice and started commenting on some of the sex ads in the back, and one thing led to another and I sucked him off right on my couch. I actually hooked up with him once or twice after that, once in my car in a municipal parking lot.

The last time I saw him he was with his chubby wife, pushing a baby carriage down Myrtle Avenue. We did not acknowledge each other, ha ha.

r93, was the dad hot?

Is everyone just pre-lubed in these situations?

I’ve sucked off two different cab drivers - one a cute young Spaniard who came in a millisecond - the other a young Turkish guy who lasted longer

I made both let me get into the front seat and suck them while they drove around

If someone tried to flirt with me I probably wouldn't even notice and I doubt I'd ever act on it even if I did, I'm just too shy and anxious for that kind of thing always have been.

I was looking for an apartment to rent so I called a broker and met him at the first apartment.

He was so hot! Hunky and hairy, just like I like them. We seemed to get along great and he was so flirty. The sexual tension built so quickly.

After seeing a third apartment together, he said, “I know another great apartment.” We walked in, he closed the door and we immediately started making out voraciously. Without saying a word, we guided me to the bedroom and made some of the most passionate love ever. It was odd because it was much more than a quick fuck one would expect in these hookup situations.

He told me this was an apartment about to go on the market for sale, and he knew the owners had already moved out of town. He also swore up and down that he had never done this before but felt something different with me. The feeling really was mutual.

Then, he asked me out on a date.

We broke up amicably 4 years later. But knowing him, he was totally telling the truth that he had never slept with a client before. He’s so fucking ethical it actually gets annoying.

There will always be a place in my heart for you, Brian!

[quote]Is everyone just pre-lubed in these situations?

Really?

I know it's not ideal for a spur-of-the-moment hookup, but I've found that a good rimjob negates the need for lube. I'm more top than verse, but when I bottom, the top has an easier time if he'll rim me than if he gets plenty of lube and starts slowly with fingers.

R75 Please tell me that wasn't Bill Cosby...

[quote]cops often do get hit on by people of both sexes

[quote]and, if i wanted to indulge in a little real-life porn plot of my own, what’s the best cop catnip?

Since I actively discourage sexual shenanigans at work, I'm probably not well-qualified to answer this, but based on my observations of some of my fellow cops over the years, I can tell you that many of them are very happy to meet "badge bunnies." Unfortunately, pretty much 100% of the cops in my world are exclusively straight, and my work exposure to other gay cops is all but nonexistent, but here are some of the things I've seen along the way:

—"Mark," an erudite cocksman whom I'm sure had notches on his bedpost, had a habit of pulling over very attractive women. While explaining to them the alleged reason for their traffic stop, he'd sweet-talk and schmooze them, and would, more often than not, leave them with a verbal warning—after getting their telephone number.

—Cops and nurses are a natural combination. Cops are always hanging around hospitals, interviewing injured victims, suspects, etc., and nurses are a wonderful help to them. I've seen several serious cop/nurse relationships really take off.

As far as openly flirting with cops, while I feel flattered by it, there is no way I'd encourage it. Would I if I were straight? I honestly don't know, but I think I might. In my entire career, I have never seen anyone seriously burned in a heterosexual on-the-job affair that went wrong, however, I'm aware of two disastrous situations involving gay cops in neighboring departments who hooked up with screwballs while at work.

I've read many remarks on DataLounge that cops are psycho and that you're taking a huge chance if you hook up with one. But I see it as a two-way street—a lot of guys who actively chase after cops are as crazy as shithouse rats. (Not you, of course, R83.)

Not really R95. Average.

My husband and I had to live in separate cities for a few months. He’s a very sexual man and wasn’t really liking the time apart. I flew in one weekend to visit him in our new home and we had so much sex.

I blew him in the car before we even got home, he fucked me up against the shower wall, then when we got to bed we had sex off and on all night between little cat naps. I remember twice that night waking up to him sliding his dick into me.

It was a memorable weekend!

I never understood what was supposedly so hot about shower/bath/pool sex. Something that is supposed to be hot but ends up being not.

r106 agreed, water (especially pool water) completely obliterates the taste and aroma of male flesh.

a flight attendant on the old Continental morning EWR>LAX

a waiter in Phoenix

countless bartenders in numerous cities

a guy on the M4 bus

some couple in the hot tub on an Atlantis cruise

a guy on the Q train

a guy walking down West 47th

the winner of a strip contest at JRs in Dallas

Most of that is just run of the mill whoreishness, R108

You guys should take the poll about it:

I'm a one so I don't even have fantasies except for the one time I was picked up in the roman forum by another American tourist and we ended up in the pensione Campo dei Fiori where he was staying. Like an American Italian travelogue movie from the early sixties involving young people But this one ended with homo sex.

I hooked up with two brothers once.

I've never hooked up with a teacher but I've hooked up with some students when I was a teacher.

bomp

Oh. I also once had a quickie in a drive through car wash.

I had a threesome with two men, while the wife of one of the men watched.

This guy asked if his friend could watch while we did it.

I'd like more scenarios now, please.

I always had terrible luck with gay guys in gay bars but apparently had, as one guy told me, an "I suck cock" sign on my forehead that only straight guys or guys not in a specific gay environment seemed to be able to see!

I've hooked up with:

A friend's dad

A straight coworker

A married man who was a fellow volunteer for a political campaign

Two professors

And the big, beautiful blond muscle god trucker who delivered shipments to the restaurant where I worked in college.

I never drove in high school or college, then I lived in NYC for 10 years, where I took the subway.

When I moved to L.A. I had to take driving lessons in preparation for getting a license, and then barely passed the test.

The DMV guy was older and consolingly flirty... had me pull over to calm down at one point. He should not have passed me but he did. He asked for my phone number so we could “practice driving together”. I was sort of captive in the situation ... #MeToo! ... so I wrote it down for him.

He never did call, but it was certainly the BEGINNING of a porny scenario!

I never drove in high school or college, then I lived in NYC for 10 years, where I took the subway.

When I moved to L.A. I had to take driving lessons in preparation for getting a license, and then barely passed the test.

The DMV guy was older and consolingly flirty... had me pull over to calm down at one point. He should not have passed me but he did. He asked for my phone number so we could “practice driving together”. I was sort of captive in the situation ... #MeToo! ... so I wrote it down for him.

He never did call, but it was certainly the BEGINNING of a porny scenario!

Sorry about that.

Usually my posting is better than my driving!

The board's been double posting (and blocking people when I'm just trying to click the button for response options) for me too. I don't think it's you, it's the site.

Hot, r118! Details?

Oh I've had some experiences. Little local ABS. I go in to get my favorite porn mag. Guy behind the counter is this hot ass dark skinned Latino with a huge uncut cock. I got to taste that monster.

When I was younger I was in fact a looker. Didn't know it then but looking at the photos yeah I was. Blond/brown hair, hazel eyes a little bit guido and well everyone wanted a piece. Of course I was sort of picky about my playmates. A long deceased friend used to say I was applying for my membership in the International club. I still miss him. We never had sex but he was like my gay godfather.

Oh yeah and another friend of mine - he was a photographer. In fact I knew 2 gay photographers. But he and I are at a local gay srip club and taking snaps of this gorgeous male porn star. It was surreal. I think the porn start wanted me but Ill never know. Even my photog friend noticed it.

In college I took a photography class and one assignment was to take close-up pictures of objects where someone looking at the photos wouldn't know what they were of right away. One of my best friends was a really nice guy who was in amazing shape -- lean and muscular with blonde hair. We hung out constantly together in each other's rooms. One afternoon, he's lounging around on my roommate's bed and the sun is coming in, making for great photo lighting. I start taking pictures of his arms and then his legs, moving closer to him as we became more comfortable. The whole thing is really calm and quiet, and we're kind of talking softly, and I notice he's turned on. By this point, he's already been moving around on the bed, so his legs are open while he's laying on his side. I was getting hard by now, too. I shot a few more pictures and then sat down n the bed beside him and we jacked off. When it was all over, laying there catching our breath and with cum in our hands, we both made some corny jokes and laughed a little then cleaned up.

We remained friends all that year. Didn't fool around again after that, but definitely flirted. It was a great friendship, and regrettably we lost touch the next year when I got really busy with an off-campus internship. I bumped into him 2 years ago. He's now married with kids, and he's still a great looking guy.

I made sweet, sweet love to a man in his kitchen while his wife moaned "Not in front of my salad!"

What porn do you watch, r126?

I’ve never seen a porn plot like that.

[quote] 3 deli delivery guys (one of them went on for years), plumber (also turned into a year-Long affair), my young doorman (repeatedly, he loved to party and joined in if I had people home), neighbor’s bisexual adopted son (another one that went on for years).

My, my, my!

It almost seems hard to believe! But, since this is datalounge, we know you're telling the unvarnished truth.

My father fucked me.

The thing is if you want results you have to put in the work into setting things up. Or be willing to be embarrassed when they don't take or want the bait.

I had heard from a fuck buddy that a local married realtor was into guys on the side. I made an appointment to see one of the properties he was selling and 5 minutes into the tour he was balls deep in my guts. A porn plot, but not organic.

[quote] he was balls deep in my guts.

My what a lovely image this conjures.

A cute receptionist, Grindr didn’t exist back then. Just chatting and flirting, not a care in the world. I went into town and brought back a bottle of red wine. He asked if I needed glasses. Make it two.

Mr. Receptionist spent the night in my room and left really early as he was afraid to be seen by other staff members.

Hey guys. Just dropped to see if my former intern wrote about seducing the boss.

I was raped!

I was roped!

I like blue.

A friend's dad.

Years ago, blew a cable installer to thank him for giving me free HBO; jerked off the weekend janitor after he blew me in the vestibule of the Girl Scouts headquarters; got screwed weekly for a couple of months by a cab driver whose wife was pregnant; blew barber after he was mashing his junk into my arm. Basically, I’m a romantic kind of guy.

I posted about my dad's bff before - there is also the ge repair man story :)

[quote] he was balls deep in my guts.

Please continue!

“the barber who was smashing his junk into my arm” is the pre-porn plot i experience fortnightly. unfortunately he’s straight as an arrow.

My sexlife is so boring and colorless.

Has never happened to me, but I've had a number of super hot tradesmen do jobs at my house over the years.

I get the smashing thing during haircuts too, but the girls at the salon are out of luck as being ground on by someone's sweatpants-covered FUPA is not the key to my heart.

I've had a hair stylist smash his (apparently impressive) junk into my arm, and one who subtly straddled my knee when he cut the front of my hair.

I blew the Uber driver. And no, he wasn't hot and claimed to be straight but I was coming back from very far, was tired and horny, so I asked him, he said yes, I did him and don't regret it one bit.

In the mid-80s I had a three-way with two brothers (White boy siblings)

Two years ago when I was 53 I picked up a 23-year-old hitchhiker. I brought him home and sucked him off. At 23 he was young enough to come three times in 20 minutes. He also had that new car smell!

The bellhop brought me up to my room. He came back after his shift and fucked me. I have no idea how he knew I was gay, bottom and available.

[quote] I have no idea how he knew I was gay, bottom and available.

Um hmm.

We can tell just from your typing.

R150 What was disturbing was not so much he thought I was gay but that he took me to be easy. I was. But that’s not the point.

My boss fucked me up the ass.

Metaphorically of course

Metaphorically Dirty Donald is fucking me too.