Expose on Hunter Biden's Loony New Bride

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Melissa batya Cohen we as adopted into a conservative middle class Jewish family in Johannesburg. But according to an online profile Cohen posted, she was first raised by a tribeswoman who took her on "frequent visits" to her native land in Eastern South Africa. She claims she only learned English at the age of 6 with the tribal dialect Xhosa being her first language. Friends have raised doubts over her story suggesting she may have embellished it

I think she may have seen Sheena at an impressionable age...

At age 22 she moved to LA an quickly became involved in the party circuit. She met a suitor , a Jewish businessman named Jason Landver and they quickly became engaged. "She decided she we wanted to stay in America so gave him an ultimatum, she said we need to get married to get my visa. It was very manipulative"

" Her and Jason's relationship was very tumoltous. They would fight all the time and she would lose her shit over the tiniest things. Jason would go home and find all his clothes thrown in the street, which was crazy given that he was paying all the bills and rent"

Friends say Cohen quickly took advantage of having a wealthy husband, blowing thousands of dollars on designer clothes and accessories with a credit card he gave her. " She'd spend a fortune on clothes and partying"

" His family disapproved of the relationship, she didn't have very good manners, she wasn't very respectful, and they saw her as an oppurtunist. She would also arrive scantily dressed at family functions." On one occasion according to the friend, Cohen had been partying with her husband and two of his high school friends when the group ended up in a hot tub. Intoxicated Cohen suddenly ripped off her top exposing her breasts. " It made everyone really uncomfortable. Jason was embarrassed and tried to make her put it back on but she didn't want to"

" She was very promiscous and pushed boundaries a lot more than other people. She's broken many friendships because of her behavior"

How do you say "hot mess" in Xhosa?

Do you think Biden's sons issues with women are because their mother died early or is the Biden clan really fucked up on the inside? Beau's wife started fucking his brother after Beau died. Now, Hunter is fucking around with an insane woman. When people's kids end up with unstable people all the time, something was fucked up in their family life growing up. Maybe in their case it was their mother's death but it seems strange that privileged men like they are would be so fucking low class when it comes to their relationships.

I dunno, maybe being in a car accident when you were little and seeing your mother and infant sister crushed to death, then having to spend weeks in the hospital, might fuck a person up a bit?

And then watching your beloved brother die far too young of one of the most gruesome, painful cancers might, maybe, trigger some emotional issues?

Are all those errors like "tumoltous" from the article? I can't get the page to load on my phone.

Ultimately, Landver realized that it was "impossible" to settle down with Melissa. " I remember him saying I'm never going to have kids with this girl. He felt alone in the relationship, he took care of everything, paid for everything, organized everything. ".

" Jason's friends likes her but they also thought she took advantage of him. When they were together she never really worked but she'd come up with these crazy business ideas,one was to build a greenhouse. Jason would invest in them but she never really got them off the ground." The friend said that after the split Cohen started dating two people in Landvers close circle of friends- a fact that rankled her ex.

They shut down comments quickly on that article, what a shame I was hoping for some laughs

I bet Jill can't stand Hunter because he puts Joe in an awkward position with all his fuck ups

Well she'll certainly add a touch of drama and class to the Democratic Presidential Fiasco.