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Have you ever stopped seeing someone over a kink?

Have you ever stopped seeing/dating someone because you discovered they were into something you weren't or that just plain creeped you out?

by Anonymousreply 74August 20, 2019 3:51 AM

As a young gayling I dated an older guy 'fresh off the farm' who was into leather. As in horse saddles, Frye boots, suede fringe vests, etc. When we had sex, he would always need these things around us to get off. Like literally on the bed with us. When he covered my head with a saddle while blowing me was when I knew I had enough. Really hot cute guy but his fetish did nothing for me.

by Anonymousreply 1August 18, 2019 4:05 PM

I had a FB years ago who was into tying me up, whipping me, pleasuring me all over with his mouth, his cock, and other devices. All I had to do was lie, or stand, there and enjoy it. But he couldn't do it without being totally fucked up on poppers, and those gave me a migraine. So after a month or so, I stopped seeing him.

by Anonymousreply 2August 18, 2019 4:08 PM

R1 mentions the real issue: so often, fetishists are so tightly engaged with their personal kink, that it becomes the focus. Which can just be plain boring, unless you share that interest. I stopped seeing one guy because, though he was a nice person with good looks and a handsome body, he was really just into leather gloves. He wanted to watch me try them on, and flex my (large) hands with the gloves on, or have my gloved hand endlessly edge his cock. But he wasn’t really interested in what I wanted, sadly.

by Anonymousreply 3August 18, 2019 4:20 PM

I just ask because I was chatting with a guy who seemed perfectly nice and normal and then he shows me the leather dog mask he wears while in his "pup headspace" I was no longer interested afterward.

by Anonymousreply 4August 18, 2019 4:21 PM

Oh, God. No. Dogs and sex do not mix. No. Just no.

by Anonymousreply 5August 18, 2019 4:22 PM

R5 “pup play” has nothing to do with adding animals to sex. It’s a fantasy play of submission. Totally fair for it to be a turnoff tho.

by Anonymousreply 6August 18, 2019 4:37 PM

Just saying "pup play" is disgusting as fuck, r6.

by Anonymousreply 7August 18, 2019 4:41 PM

No. I wonder if I should have.

by Anonymousreply 8August 18, 2019 4:48 PM

I’m into feet

by Anonymousreply 9August 18, 2019 4:56 PM

"Pup play" is relatively new - I never saw it before 5-10 years ago. Looks ridiculous - but there's always somebody somewhere who is bored with their life and wants to do something different and 'edgey'.

by Anonymousreply 10August 18, 2019 5:03 PM

Dated a nice guy, turned out he was into water sports. It was a dealbreaker for me.

by Anonymousreply 11August 18, 2019 5:18 PM

As creepy as pup play is furries still reign supreme in the creepiest kink category, it's funny when they say it isn't about sex then post videos of themselves dressed as a cartoon animal fucking a stuffed dog they've inserted a fleshlight into oh and thanks for that visual Xtube home page!

by Anonymousreply 12August 18, 2019 9:13 PM

I had a boyfriend into jockstraps and shoulder harnesses. He even had a leather vest. Not for me!

by Anonymousreply 13August 19, 2019 8:16 AM

The only kink that I can think of was one guy who motorboated me all over my chest and neck as we made out. He finally stopped when I said he was going to be asked to leave if he didn't knock it off. Once he calmed down I let him fuck me, then he left. A few guys seemed to really like their poppers, but I guess that is somewhat normal.

by Anonymousreply 14August 19, 2019 8:59 AM

What is motorboating?

by Anonymousreply 15August 19, 2019 12:00 PM

[quote]The only kink that I can think of was one guy who motorboated me all over my chest and neck

Weird.

by Anonymousreply 16August 19, 2019 12:02 PM

I like feet. Why are people so alarmed by that? Who denies a foot rub?

by Anonymousreply 17August 19, 2019 12:24 PM

[quote]Who denies a foot rub?

One guy wanted to do that with his tongue. That was weird enough. But that was all he wanted to do. Not so much a kink as a total fucking bore.

by Anonymousreply 18August 19, 2019 12:27 PM

Iggy was into pup play, apparently.

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by Anonymousreply 19August 19, 2019 12:28 PM

Motorboating is the act of putting your face in between someone's breasts.

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by Anonymousreply 20August 19, 2019 12:32 PM

Yes, one guy wanted me to constantly insult him while we had sex. Not my thing at all, and having to come up with new things to say was tiresome. I think if you're into something like that you really need partners whose fetish is complementary, otherwise it feels like work.

by Anonymousreply 21August 19, 2019 12:32 PM

The "stinky feet" fetishists or the guys who want you to rest your feet on their body while they lie there - not for me, and it's actually a bit of a turnoff.

by Anonymousreply 22August 19, 2019 12:33 PM

My last month in New York, I dated a guy who wanted to slather Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion into my 501s, jerk me off, then take care of himself. It took forever to get the Vaseline smell out of the jeans, so he bought me new ones a few times, washed them a zillion times, and had me wear those. He kept all but one pair, [italic]en stinkant[/italic] , for me to remember him by when I left NY.

by Anonymousreply 23August 19, 2019 12:36 PM

Guys into feet are rather pedestrian.

by Anonymousreply 24August 19, 2019 12:39 PM

Yes a guy got off on eating the boogers out of my nose. I drew the line there.

by Anonymousreply 25August 19, 2019 12:41 PM

Top who could only perform if I wore tassel loafers and dress socks - amusingly quirky at the outset, but became insufferable and tedious with time

by Anonymousreply 26August 19, 2019 12:42 PM

I have a FB (actually, we've been FBs for about 15 years now) and he's really into rubber. At first, I humored him but, over the years, I've grown to like rubber too. He's not totally fixated on it, however, so we have sex without any kind of rubber suit or accessory from time to time.

by Anonymousreply 27August 19, 2019 12:43 PM

Years and years ago, somebody here told a story about meeting a wonderful, handsome guy. After the third or so date, they had just finished having some great sex when out of nowhere said wonderful guy shit into his hands and offered it to our poster, as if he were some primate at the zoo.

by Anonymousreply 28August 19, 2019 12:43 PM

I found out he was filming us, every time at his.

by Anonymousreply 29August 19, 2019 12:43 PM

Never

by Anonymousreply 30August 19, 2019 12:45 PM

No! omg....R28!

by Anonymousreply 31August 19, 2019 12:45 PM

I once met an eldergay who was into hissing.

by Anonymousreply 32August 19, 2019 12:47 PM

In the 80's, I met a hot, successful, well established antique dealer in lower Manhattan. I was in my 20's. He was in his 40's. His apartment was astonishing. Everything about this potential new boyfriend looked great.

After the first few dates, we had sex in his apartment and that was great, too. Then one night, he had a stupid looking leather cowboy hat on the night stand when we got to the bedroom. Then he put the hat on while we were having sex. I let it go. But the next time we got to his bedroom, there was the hat and he wore it again while we were fucking.

The last time I saw him, while we were fucking, he took the hat off and started beating me with it. Good bye.

by Anonymousreply 33August 19, 2019 12:54 PM

Yup, a foot fetishist.

by Anonymousreply 34August 19, 2019 1:16 PM

I'm with R1 and R3. Fetishes and kink are a barrier to intimacy. I want to have some connection when I'm having sex with someone. You can't do that when the focus is whatever the fetish is. I can't get into sex when the focus is off the two of us and on some type of kink or fetish. Ruins the whole experience. Lucky for me, my ex-partner and current partner were not into anything like that, and the sex was/is great with both.

by Anonymousreply 35August 19, 2019 1:16 PM

I have a very weird kink. For that reason, r35, I never tell my sexual partners about it and focus on the kink mentally when we have sex.

It works for me: I have my kink, we both get off, everyone wins.

by Anonymousreply 36August 19, 2019 1:18 PM

What is it, r36?

by Anonymousreply 37August 19, 2019 1:23 PM

No one wins, R36. You have been deceptive and your partner was deceived. I leave it to you to unpack all the levels of dishonesty involved.

by Anonymousreply 38August 19, 2019 1:23 PM

Oh ffs r38, save it

And it's omorashi r37

by Anonymousreply 39August 19, 2019 1:24 PM

r38 I would stop seeing someone if he chronically used "unpack" when speaking of anything except luggage, moving boxes, or maybe—and this is stretching it—groceries.

by Anonymousreply 40August 19, 2019 1:27 PM

Fisting

by Anonymousreply 41August 19, 2019 1:35 PM

Yes. A fuckbuddy was into me pinching his nipples extremely hard. Too hard. Ouch, no.

by Anonymousreply 42August 19, 2019 1:38 PM

I've not stopped seeing someone, but I've decided not to bother even starting with a few. As R3 mentioned, when it becomes ALL about THEIR kink I rapidly lose interest. I think a bigger problem, at least for me, is when kinks gets stupidly specific;

I was chatting to one guy just this weekend, who physically hit pretty much all of my buttons, but he insisted we would only have sex if we both wore head-toe lycra suits. That I could possibly have accommodated for a one off to try and see what it was like, but no...we'd also have to wear special sandals to go with it. I did say that didn't really work for me, and could we maybe try without but he kept going on about finding the sandals in my size etc.

A few other people have messaged me into miniaturisation - they want to imagine being six inches tall or something (and yes I've had this from more than one man). Now each to their own and all that but I can't see how on earth this kink can be made to work in reality? Sure you can wank thinking about it...but bringing another person in? It's a non-starter surely?

And what really grates is when you say you're not into their specialised kink, they get all pissy like you've wasted their time.

I have my own kinks but I'd never rule someone out just because they weren't into them. I'm more about the person and finding out what works between us. People who put their fetish before their partner(s) are to be avoided I reckon.

by Anonymousreply 43August 19, 2019 2:00 PM

As the whore of Babylon, I have quickly become bored or ignored with many kinks of unimaginative fetishists.

by Anonymousreply 44August 19, 2019 2:11 PM

ANNOYED not ignored. i guess that's the key. they ignore you when they get too wrapped up in their silly fetish

by Anonymousreply 45August 19, 2019 2:12 PM

Not necessarily a fetish, but poppers are a big negatory for me.

I guess, at the core, I am vanilla. Role playing is a turn off. Muscle worship (theirs or mine) is a turn off. I appreciate nice feet, but they are, to me, not sexual organs. I have experience with all of these.

by Anonymousreply 46August 19, 2019 2:21 PM

My biggest problem with poppers is that they inhibit a building orgasm. When I'm down there enthusiastically sucking your dick and giving it my all, don't fuck up the progression with your poppers. Not unless you want to finish with a self-administered hand job.

by Anonymousreply 47August 19, 2019 2:23 PM

Feet people give me the creeps. Feet are disgusting, they're ugly, they stink, no. I can't understand how anyone could be arroused by feet.

by Anonymousreply 48August 19, 2019 2:27 PM

Yes, menz that expect extreme acrobatics from me. I am delicate as a 🍑 peach blossom, and menz must be proper and chivralous gentleman callers. When there are two or more, aggressive spit roasting is as far as I will accommodate.

by Anonymousreply 49August 19, 2019 2:42 PM

R48 - you're going to freak out when you hear about butt sex.

by Anonymousreply 50August 19, 2019 2:51 PM

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

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by Anonymousreply 51August 19, 2019 2:58 PM

twice-

I had a short-term bf who confessed after about a month that he liked to be tied up during sex. I told him I wasn't particularly interested in that so he should find someone who is. We're still friends to this day.

I met an amazing top. In the middle of sex one night, he stopped and asked if I'd put on lady's underwear and tights. His cock felt so good in me that I said I would. I put everything on and he continued, more excited than ever. He later told me that that's what he loved the most. Although he was an expert top, I realized it did nothing for me so I stopped seeing him.

by Anonymousreply 52August 19, 2019 3:30 PM

I once dated a majorly good-looking cop who was very into fucking a guy and then pissing up his ass. The first time he did it to me it was kind of amazing, just because of the novelty. I identify way more as a Top than a bottom, but "Ken" was so hot and good in bed that I gave him more access to my ass than I normally would have. I didn't particularly enjoy taking it up the butt, but it was tolerable and gave him a lot of pleasure, so I was cool with it. Until the pissing started.

One night after we'd finished, Ken didn't immediately pull out and encouraged me to just lie on my stomach. I then felt the strange sensation of hot liquid going up my ass, and figured out immediately what he was doing. I asked him to stop, because I didn't know what would happen and didn't want any "accidents" happening. Ken is a big guy (6'4", 225 pounds) and has a pretty large bladder capacity. He'd also had a few beers, so he shot quite a large volume of piss up my ass. In all, it was quite enjoyable.

But then it became routine. Every time we had sex he'd do that to me. Prior to doing it, he'd drink even more beer than usual and would hold off going to the bathroom before we went to bed. Every time he'd piss up my butt it was like getting a very unwanted enema. In all fairness, he asked me to do the same thing to him, but I'm apparently physically unable to piss up anyone's ass while my dick is still up them.

Eventually I came to almost dread our sessions, as I find nothing pleasurable about what amounted to forced enemas, so I reluctantly stopped seeing Ken. Which was really too bad, since he was a great guy in every other way.

by Anonymousreply 53August 19, 2019 3:32 PM

The ones who wear lady underwear are an instant turnoff. It's weird when you are looking at someone's Grindr profile and the next pic of them is in ladypants. Ahhh!

by Anonymousreply 54August 19, 2019 7:09 PM

I agree with R54. Major turnoff and I've only seen it once or twice. Not to knock people into that, but for me, no. Maybe bi guys are into that because I've never met a gay guy who is.

by Anonymousreply 55August 19, 2019 7:26 PM

It seems like it's a lot of married guys, but I have encountered some young gaylings who have abs and then the next pic is of them in high heels and stockings 😟

Not dissing that fetish, just not for me!

by Anonymousreply 56August 19, 2019 7:59 PM

[R17] A double amputee?...

by Anonymousreply 57August 19, 2019 8:25 PM

I agree poppers are gross when a guy has to huff from a bottle every two minutes to stay aroused it's annoying and honestly kind of creepy it reminds me of Dennis Hopper's character from Blue Velvet.

by Anonymousreply 58August 19, 2019 8:29 PM

Poppers de-arouse me. They make sex mechanical. What was once a penis becomes a mere piston, and takes forever to fully engage, because it can no longer fully engorge.

by Anonymousreply 59August 19, 2019 8:32 PM

I didn't love poppers when I was younger. Never did them. Lately, though, I love them.

by Anonymousreply 60August 19, 2019 8:36 PM

[quote]it reminds me of Dennis Hopper's character from Blue Velvet.

Now that is a kink that would definitely turn me off.

What was he inhaling anyway? Nitrous oxide?

by Anonymousreply 61August 19, 2019 8:41 PM

I have a hot FB who is a very masculine, muscular white bottom. He primarily gets fucked by black tops. We were talking recently and he mentioned that a rather alarmingly large number of "kinky" tops (black and white) who request that their bottom NOT douche or clean out at all. Some actually demand that you not even take a dump before sex. He gave into a few, but then never wanted to get with them again (although they still beg). I find the whole thing revolting personally. A little dirt on your dick just part of being a top - but I can't imagine WANTING that either.

by Anonymousreply 62August 19, 2019 8:44 PM

Yes. Scat. I couldn't get out of his house quickly enough.

by Anonymousreply 63August 19, 2019 8:46 PM

Nobody should want a muddy butt!

by Anonymousreply 64August 19, 2019 8:47 PM

I think that's what it's supposed to be R61 but I haven't watched that movie in years and only once.

by Anonymousreply 65August 19, 2019 8:48 PM

I've had a guy ask me (verbatim) if I would shit in his mouth. Of course I thought of Datalounge!

by Anonymousreply 66August 19, 2019 9:45 PM

Sylvie Vartan memorabilia in a white lacquered apartment.

by Anonymousreply 67August 19, 2019 11:15 PM

Then you'd really hate me, r67.

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by Anonymousreply 68August 20, 2019 12:13 AM

Don’t know if it was exactly a kink. But went out with a guy who narrated / provided stage direction for anything physical. “He took his shirt off. Look at his hairy chest! Is he going to kiss me? On the back of my neck?”

He sure seemed to get off on it.

by Anonymousreply 69August 20, 2019 12:17 AM

Moi aussi, R68

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by Anonymousreply 70August 20, 2019 12:47 AM

lol, r69

by Anonymousreply 71August 20, 2019 2:18 AM

No, I am the one who was dropped over some kink... more than once...

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by Anonymousreply 72August 20, 2019 3:06 AM

I recently met a FB on Grindr - ridiculously hot 24 year old, 6’3”, perfect body - looks like Nate from Euphoria. After the first session, he says do I mind if he wears panties. I said fine. It’s since progressed. Totally not my thing - but the guy is so fucking hot. Weird because I’m not into trans at all. But his total masculinity and hotness overwhelm the clothing. And I think because I indulge his fetish, he wants to hookup regularly. I’m having the best sex I’ve had in years.

by Anonymousreply 73August 20, 2019 3:29 AM

Lol I googled omaroshi and Google corrected to Omarosa. Now that's kinky.

by Anonymousreply 74August 20, 2019 3:51 AM
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