15 years ago, an attorney at Winston & Strawn left this voice mail for an attorney at Latham. The attorney at Latham sent the email around to some folks. Inevitably, it went everywhere in legal circles. The best part is when the pissed off attorney orders the VM recipient-attorney to be the "monkey fucking scribe" and make some change to a document.
"Jonathan, it's [name redacted] at Winston and [name redacted]. We got your last message. Um, I'll tell you very bluntly, um, if you are intending in any way to, uh, send these emails for any purpose whatsover other than to vent, uh my response to you is very simply gonna be, uh 'save your fucking breath.
And if you have any issue you want to speak to [name redacted] or myself about, call us and discuss them.
If you send one more fucking email like this again, I can assure you your life on this deal is gonna be very unpleasant because I'm gonna get my client involved, and we're gonna make it very clear that you are not cooperating.
So, our changes are necessary. The change was addressed in a global comment to you was that to insert our client's address. You made a change without our authorization. Whether you consider it material or not - again, I don't give a flying fuck.
Make the fucking change. Be the middleman monkey or give us the job to do, and we'll take care of it and we'll do it properly. Your mortgage document was sloppy and shitty. Alright? We limited our comments, and we made very specific comments.
If you can't be a monkey fucking scribe, then you know what? Let us do it. We'll get one of our secretaries to handle it."