My arm is broken...

Sorry to hear this. Get well soon!

First night is a bitch with the pain. I hope you have good pain medication. You might need a sleeping pill too since getting comfortable will be hard.

Bet it's not your first time in a sling.

I hate showering when one of your limbs isn't functioning. I remember having to lay down in my shower when i severed my tendon. That was a nightmare.

Thank you, R2.

Unfortunately my husband couldn’t get back tonight, so I’m awkwardly staying in his old room at my in-law’s house. I’m not 100% sure they like me which is awkward, but MIL is a nurse practitioner, so she secured me some good meds...including that sleeping pill.

Rest up OP. I hope you have a full and speedy recovery.

R3, you may be correct...

R4, I’m really not looking forward to that! We have a walk-in shower in our guest bath at home, I’m hoping I can just keep the right arm outside of the shower and keep it dry. I’m so glad I’m left handed!

[quote] The shower curtain in my new house is too high for my short stature. As I was reaching up on my tip toes to grab my shower sponge

What does the height of your shower curtain have to do with your shower sponge?

R8, we’ve been hanging them from the curtain hooks since moving. Our old shower had lower hooks for me, but the new one doesn’t...yet. That’s going on the short term to-do list!

Go to bed, Mitch!

OP, I broke my arm back in April this year. I'm pretty much healed, but there's still some pain. You should be okay, but it's frustrating the amount of time it takes to get better. True thing: I went to visit my (straight) old brother today, and told him I still need a calendar to document all the time I spent in the hospital and a nursing home (I spent a lot). My company says I went into the hospital on April 25, but the hospital and ambulance company both show April 24. My company won't pay for April 24, since it was "correctly documented".

OP/R5, go knock your in-laws' bedroom door at 3 am and say "Mom, Dad, can I come sleep between you?"

I'm r11 again (unfairly cut off). .......it wasn't correctly documented. But, anyway, my brother showed me his calendar, offering to help me fill in mine, since I really don't know what happened during those couple of months. He put little red heart stickies on all the days he visited me. I felt so shamed to learn that he loved me so much, since I kept complaining to my BF that he was a pain in the ass.

Take extra Vitamin D and Magnesium to help you heal well! This too shall pass.

R11, I am really sorry to hear that. It has to add stress to the situation. That is such a cute story though! I’m glad he is visiting you. It was so awkward today because I moved away from my hometown so the only people I really know are my in-laws! They’ve been really nice about it, I’m just glad I managed to get enough clothing on so it wasn’t super awkward when they arrived.

R12, that would be so awkward! They would find precisely ZERO humor in that!!

This is bull shit OP. None of this happened. Come up with something better. Fuck You OP. Fuck you.

R15, want to pay the emergency room bill for me? For crying out loud, if it’s not real I hope they accept Monopoly money!

You have made the Christmas Moose as sad as if it were January 7th, OP. Shame on you, you monster!

R16, is it possible you didn't get moved to a bed until 4/25 and 4/24 was ER (separate bill)?

OP, your in-laws will feel much more warmly towards you because of this incident. The old Dale Carnegie 'Win friends and influence people" advice -- get someone to do a favor for you and they will like you.

R18, You're very kind. But I'm not the OP. I'm just a sidewatcher, with similar circumstances.

R18, can’t tell if you’re being real or not. Part of me thinks this will help me see into their world more. We have stayed here together a couple of times, but it was always when we lived out of town and his bother(s) and their wives were here. I also sometimes feel like an inconvenience to them. They left church to come rescue me!

I hate doing this, but it's really hard for me to post. I'm a subscribing member; I can't keep track of the separate posts. When I fell down, and busted my shouldrt, I busted it twice. The first time, it was where it joins the shoulder, which was a minor fracture. I managed to finally get on my feet again, and then had a major (spiral fracture). I was stuck on the floor for 4 days. I counld't get my meds and I was in enormous pain. I

If they really hated you they wouldn't have taken you to the hospital, given you a bed in their home and scored that oxy and Demoral for you. I hope you're being gracious and not hurling Jello at them or demanding they upgrade cable for your short visit.

R22, I don’t think they hate me, I just don’t think I’m their favorite. They have five boys, the other four have wives and they all go to lunch just about every other week. They’re definitely doing this as a favor to my husband who is really upset he can’t be here.

I am on my best behavior. They brought my dog over for the night, I tried to take him out earlier and was told to sit back down! I was trying not to bother them, but they wanted to help me.

But was the dog inconvenienced for 4 days?

OP is short?

R24, OP here. The person on the floor for four days is someone else. This has all happened in the past 13 hours for me.

I don't believe this. I have broken both arms on different occasions when I was young. You don't need a nurse practitioner mother in law to get you pain meds. If your arm is broken and fucked up looking you go to the hospital and they call an orthopod, he ok's demerol or morphine to numb you and then shows up to set it and have it put in a cast afterwards. A prescription for pain killers is given without a second thought. And you dont need to stay at an in laws house to recover, it's a cast, not chemo. Sorry if I'm cunty but it sounds incredulous.

NOBODY here believes you OP. I’ll see you fry in the electric chair for this. I’ll personally see you fry in the electric chair for this.

R27, to clarify, what you said is exactly what happened. I have some medical allergies so MIL was more comfortable with me staying with them for the night so I wasn’t alone. She was the one that asked specific questions about meds and gave me my marching orders on what to take.

I’m just taking some extra precautions for health reasons, not trying to start a DL Witch-hunt

Oh, OP.

Hope you didn't break your j.o arm, OP! Jackin' off with the other hand is hard - but kinda fun.

You lost me when you lost tne Christmas Moose, OP.

You have to be one sorry lame-ass to lose the Christmas Moose.

[quote]r5 I’m awkwardly staying in his old room at my in-law’s house. I’m not 100% sure they like me which is awkward, but MIL is a nurse practitioner, so she secured me some good meds...including that sleeping pill.

[italic]Don't take anything she gives you![/italic]

Get OUT of that house. Tonight!

Maybe you can get one of those shower seats and a handheld shower head with hose.

Be kind the the MIL, perhaps this is a chance to get to know each other better...

WTF! I posted on this thread, because I had the same predicament. It hurt like hell, and I'm still recoverng. So, now, I read that OP is being trolled for making something up. Why? Im', R11, R13 as well as R21.

My sister! My daughter! My Dauster! *smack*

OP, are you that ding-a-ling who just moved to Columbus, OH?

Sleeping pills and pain meds together are a big no-no. Maybe she really does hate you.

What tiresome people

How'd you make it through the night OP? Did the in-laws prepare you a special hurt boy breakfast?

You are so dramatic, OP.

OP, your in laws do not hate you or would not have you over. They are making an effort. Try to surprise them by being pleasant and helpful, to the extent you can be.

I suppose, with one disabled paw, some things can be impossible. Maybe you could have them send you home with opened can goods in Tupperware? I live alone and just drink out of the toilet.

R41, I made it through fine. I’m a stomach sleeper though, so sleeping on my back wasn’t super fun but I made it through. Unfortunately no breakfast. Both MIL and FIL had early engagements. Luckily, they arranged for my favorite SIL (holy cow, so many ILs) to take me back to my house with the dog since I was picked up after the incident and didn’t have my car! Her munchkins had A LOT of questions (I find toddlers to be as tiresome as some of you trolls find me to be) but I tried to be a good sport about it!

R43, glad I’m not alone in drinking toilet water (I’m kidding!) I didn’t think to have anyone open any cans or anything for me, so this afternoon has been fun learning to adjust to everything. I’m thankful we have a fenced-in yard so I don’t have to worry about that with the dog.

I was sure to make my bed up, pick up the room, and leave a thank you note behind before I left. I’m glad they let me stay, I don’t really like being home alone to begin with (moved from my dorm in college into my then BF (now husband)’s apartment. I’m excited for my husband to get home tomorrow, it’s hard being one handed!

Hop you get lots of sympathy from hubby when he gets home! I hope you saved letting him sign your cast first!

Make the bed? ...you should have stripped the bed and laundered everything...

OP, you must learn to get along on your own, even if for a fortnight.

R45, he is really affectionate on a normal day, so I think I will. He’s also going to feel REALLY bad about it. I don’t want him to beat himself up, but I had asked him to help make that shower adjustment before and it just hasn’t happened, so he is going to feel really bad. Also, do people sign adult’s casts? No one has offered yet, so the thought hasn’t occurred to me.

R46, she left some sheets out and told me not to worry about it. I did strip the bed and move everything to the laundry room, then I made it back even though she told me I didn’t need to.

R47, I CAN get along on my own, I just said I don’t like to. Also, I haven’t heard of this Christmas Moose, please enlighten.

Also, my husband and I were just FaceTiming, his mom called and told him I was a joy and said my note was thoughtful. I might be making some headway with her!

Oh, this is going to be a great story for your kids, when Daddy broke his arm, Papa was away and granny and pappy took care of Daddy.

This is the most boring Datalounge thread I’ve read in months.

And yet you’re typing just fine.

I hope your thoughts were pure last night. I'm quite sure she checked the sheets for nocturnal emissions.

R51...FUCK! I was hoping it would be the most boring in years...

R52, it is a slow one handed process. I’m very lucky that it is my non-dominant arm that bore the majority of the damage.

R53, I wouldn’t think of it any other way.

[quote] R48, OP: I CAN get along on my own, I just said I don’t like to. Also, I haven’t heard of this Christmas Moose, please enlighten.

First of all, OP, you’re adorable. I’m sure you’re a good egg. Second of all, or Seconal, I’m not going to hijack your thread with the story of the Christmas Moose. You should google “DataLounge Christmas Moose” for yourself. He only visits people who believe in him, so be careful what you write here.

Op did you not have a bath mat?

I don’t think adults get their casts signed. They get unsightly tattoos instead.

R51 was hoping that OP used the last clean towel and the two turkey meatballs in his in-law’s frig.

See, any thread can become riveting with a little help from the peanut gallery.

[quote]r48 He’s also going to feel REALLY bad about it. I don’t want him to beat himself up, but I had asked him to help make that shower adjustment before and it just hasn’t happened, so he is going to feel really bad.

Not as bad as when he heard you're still alive.

This was an obvious attempt at MURDER.

OP. are you a fan?

This incident probably brought you closer to your in-laws. I think I better adjust my shower area, too. I don’t want to fall like that.

R55, thank you for pointing me in that direction. Maybe I’ll become a friend of the Christmas Moose after I learn more!

R56, no. The inside of the tub is grooved, it never would have occurred to me to get an additional mat!

R57, I thought the same. I’m not sure what I am going to do though, I just accepted a long-term substitute teaching position in special education. I’m sure someone is going to want to sign it!

R60/R33, I appreciate the murder thread you have going. You know who appreciates it more? R51. He thinks I’m incredibly boring

Try breaking your ankle bones and needing metal implants---trumps your poor *little* broken arm any day. You're well enough to type, to go have a shit without fearing you'll fall and do more damage, and you can WALK into a shower stall.

Get some perspective. You have someone waiting on you and a partner to fuss over you. ---you'll be just fine.

R63 Ah, you are the guy who who moved to Ohio and are contending with your husband’s rowdy friends. Congrats on landing a teaching position. Sorry you have this new obstacle added to this stressful time in your life.

[quote]r64 You have someone waiting on you and a partner to fuss over you. ---you'll be just fine.

I hope his gimpy arm heals crooked.

Where were hubby's sporty friends when all this was going on?

Shitting themselves laughing over the tragic accident the little fellow had.

Monstrous.

[italic] Monstrous....!

Why, Sir! It is with with great trepidation I beg you to tell us the tale of your preciously crooked gimpy leg.

I’ve also had them set a cushion down on the floor so you can sit comfortably.

A few years ago I slipped on an icy sidewalk and broke my arm. It was scary being unable to do so many things while the arm was in a cast. The only good thing that came from it is that it prompted me to get a shower chair. I love the shower chair, and along with the Water Pik detachable shower head it makes me feel so much safer. My fear of slipping in the shower is much less.

R65, guilty. Thank you for the encouragement. It is always stressful learning a new set of kids, this is a new position (I am not a spec ed teacher!) in a new school in a new state. I’m just covering a maternity leave though, so I don’t have to do it forever if I don’t like it!

R67, it was a Sunday morning...so I really hope they weren’t hitting up those brewpubs! Some of them though I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. Update on that though, I think two of them actually enjoy when I am around...not like wanting to be my friend or anything because I say practically zero words to them, but they seem totally cool with me being at their stuff now.

R71, we have one, there is just one problem. My husband is significantly taller than me. He moved in our new house a few months before me, so he set everything for his height. He re-mounted the shower so he could fit under, hung the curtain, etc. so even if I reached for the handheld, I might have suffered the same fate! We FaceTimed for about two hours last night, he’s going to do some adjusting when he gets home later today.

.

OP, you should adopt the name “Ernest” as your DataLounge moniker. If you delay, you may be assigned something dreadfully cuter, just ask MissBootsyGumdrops. You may use the German variation, Ernst, if you want to butch-it-up a tad.

Are you a woman, OP?

Moscow Mitch, you said you fell on the patio and fractured your shoulder. Get your story straight. Anything to avoid calling the Senate back in session to deal with assault weapons violence.

OP, careful with the MIL's sleeping pills.

You never know.

You never fucking know.

OP- Did you break your jack off arm? That will determine whether or not I feel sorry for you.

OP did not provide the most important information: What kind of drugs did you get?

Midol 50mg and Pamprin ES, 500 IU, R79

OP, you stupid, clumsy bitch!

Update:

Picked Husband up from the airport. He spent the entire drive home apologizing for being gone when I fell. I told him several times it was fine, he wasn’t accepting of that answer.

He pulled into the hardware store on the way back to our house and bought the things he needed to fix the shower. I now have my own hook lower in the shower where I can reach it. He also lowered the whole curtain “just in case I ever wanted to hang my shower sponge on the curtain rod.”

He is now discussing re-arranging the kitchen to bring everything off of the top shelves. He is really sweet, but it isn’t necessary. I think I’ll let him hang around a while, he is a keeper.

OP he sounds like a sweet man. I hope you’re presenting hole for him.

Ernst, just how tall are you people?

Ernst, why didn't they give you a cast you can shower in?

R84, he’s 6’6”. I’m a little more normal (5’7”)

R85, at that time I wasn’t really thinking about what type of cast I wanted! I might ask when I go back!

Ernst, @ R86, the word is “typical”, not “normal”.

Also, “normal” is often misused when people mean “healthy”.

It’s a peeve of mine.

When I broke my arm, they just put a garbage bag over it when they put me in the shower. It worked, although it wasn't very dignified. Your partner sounds very sweet.

R87, funny! I am typically the one that is trying to get people to use the word “typical” rather than normal. I can’t believe I made that mistake!

R88, I did that this morning. It was much better than before. I did, however, have an assistant in my shower this morning who got all those hard to reach places for me.

OP. Your husband seems like the CUTEST person. Maybe ever. I lived with a man for about five years and if this was me he would have told me to adjust it myself and hand my own hook!

You’re very lucky.

Better to break the arm, and not the wrist OP. You'll be doing better in no time, especially with such a swell husband. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Thank you, R90 and R91. I am really lucky to have found him! You never know when your hunky TA will ask you out!

OP I feel like there is a story there that DL deserves to know.

Do share.

Ernst, do what you do best and tell us this story.

Was it Biology or Anatomy?

Maybe it was chemistry, R95. Let’s hope Ernst gives us the story soon.

Vote here if you want the story.

Ernst’s title reminds me of this, at the link.

Why, I do declare, I believe Ernst was pulling my leg!

“Ernst” here. I see your poll kind of backfired. Looks like people don’t want the story. How sad!

No! If you add yes and also yes it is more than 50%!

No! If you add yes and also yes it is more than 50%!

Come on, Ernst. It sounds like a really fun story.

DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT.

Theres nothing fun about this story, r103. OP took probably a math class and lust after the TA. Thank God OP was too dim to get math, so she got xtra time to thirsttrap the TA. The TA see shortie OP as easily controlled and dominated in long term, so the TA hit OP up. The rest is history.

Eh, R105, you’re actually not even remotely close! I don’t think it is a fun story, but it is more fun than that.

So, why are you going to let that incorrect story be the last one we think of?

Ernst, is there a Moose in your story?

Or a squirrel?

Come on OP. Give the people what they want!

Ernst is rewriting his essay with various animals having casual walk-on roles.

Come on Ernst. It’ll be a crowd pleaser!

I don’t know why I am sharing this. Just remember I promised it wasn’t a good story.

My (now) husband was doing a masters degree the same time I was completing my undergrad. I worked the front desk of a dorm that hosted a living learning community. Each week, a tall handsome TA would come in and have office hours in the building. No one ever came to his office hours though, so he would sometimes stop over at the desk and talk to me. I am painfully shy, so I was not a very good conversationalist. He would spend most of the time joking with me or trying to get me to laugh, then his office hours would be over and he would leave.

The next semester, I took a different class (not Anatomy, Biology, or Chemistry) and he was a TA in my discussion section. His role in that section was to facilitate discussion and reteach concepts we struggled with in lecture. I was the kid in discussion who didn’t say much, but he and I had rapport from before, so I was a little more social than normal. I was always the first one there (because I thought he was cute) so we would make small talk.

At the end of the semester, I turned in my final paper and got an email from him about a week later asking if I would be willing to stop by his office. He assured me nothing was wrong and I should not worry, but I was definitely worried! When I got to his office he showed me that he had submitted my grade to the registrar and told me that it was final and there was nothing he could do to change it.

He told me he thought I was funny (literally the first time in my life anyone had ever told me that) and wanted to take me to a stand up show he had tickets to. I agreed and the rest, as they say, is history. He was my first boyfriend and we’ve been together ever since.

What do you mean that isn’t a good story, OP? I think it’s really cute!

Oh Mitch, izzums little arm all better now?

We know who you are, OP. You're not fooling THIS crowd.

...and then a Moose appeared, with a squirrel on his back. They were talking about a Whist game, or something, as they turned the corner and disappeared...

I’m sad there were no animals.

Oh wow! Cute story!

It was cute, I must admit.

Ernst, I want more details. I have decided that this wasn’t enough information. I want all of the details. Please share.

Yes. Details! Please share details.

"Ernst:, You should keep yourself to yourself. Thank you for being nice enough to share your life. But don't give them more. This isn't 'Klute'. I enjoyed what you shared. Let it be that: you don't owe us anything more.

Of course, no edit but. OP, just get better, and don't let nutty people push you in the wrong direction. You owe none of us anything.

Ernst, do you play Whist?

What narcotics did you get OP? I got Darvon in the late 70s. I was eleven. Good times.

R125, well, that’s a very short explanation of what happened to you.

Some of you people are obsessed.

R122/R123, thank you. I’m going to keep the rest to myself. It’s my story, not yours!

R124, I’ve never even heard of it.

No. DETAILS! We need them.

Someone make another poll.

Honestly, there isn't much difference between my story and yours, Ernstie. I mean there was a bit of foreplay with yours, but yeah, you mentioned a lot about your shyness so that just is code for easily dominated/ controlled, dearie. Plus, You thought he was cute so you were lusting and thirst trapping over him, ya hussie.

Ernst, Whist is a form of Bridge. Points are scored according to the number of tricks carried. The CM is a Grand Master.

Vicodin, OP.

R130, look at you. Your alternative facts are so good Fox News should be calling you soon. Remember, they’re in New York so if a 212 number calls you, don’t ignore.

R131, very Interesting. I just looked it up, seems like a good card game!

R132, I cannot confirm or deny ;)

New poll.

I like it already.

What do you like R135? How vague OP was?

I'm not a that you linger, but I feel like a butterfinger...

R136, it's the buildup and anticipation.

The new poll is favorable, OP

Is the arm feeling any better, OP? I hope so for your sake.

Ernst, Whist is very oldtimie. Christmas Moose also likes Baccarat and can sometimes be seen, raking it in, at the Everett casino. He has very good horse sense for this kind of thing.

R140, I am at least adjusting to it. I am worried about going back to work next week, but I will find a way to make it work!

R141, I really enjoy card games. I’m going to look more into both of them.

Also, I find it incredibly funny that this poll is losing big time. As someone said above, “Give the people what they want!”

Is Earnest really Earnestine???

She loves the attention!

We all love the attention, R144.

Ernst, will you mind my Moose for me tonight? I have a party, and he’s not invited. Ty.

Ernst, I have to run. I’ll leave him on the porch. No peanuts after 9 as he gets reflux. Give him a little bourbon if he gets fussy. I told him I went my mother’s and she’s allergic. I’ll pick him up after 1. Thanks a bunch! Ta!

I am out of bourbon, R147. Can I give him some Jack Daniels? Does he play well with others? My dog wants to be his pal?

Please advise.

Thank you, Ernst. I can see you improvised.

I was shopping for a donkey to keep Moosie company, but I think he wants a boy donkey, so I passed on these two gals, and their pet horse.

FOCM - Moosie and my male dog both got along really well. Good call on keeping him away from female donkies. Maybe you could hit up your local humane society, they should have some good leads.

How are you, OP?

This is a really great cover story for what really happened. Your partner will leave and read about it here. But we all know you had some trick over at the house and you fell out of the sling and broke your arm.

R151 - doing much better! I’m not going to let a little broken arm slow me down. Thank you for checking in.

Hurray! Earnest is my hero! He’s the Duke of Earl!

Ernst, you were summoned in another thread. Then the thread was closed.

Are you back at work?

R155, what was this thread? I cannot seem to find it (likely because it was closed)

R166, I am. I’m going full speed! Well, not actually full speed, but as fast as can be expected.

Here’s the link. You should be flattered. It took the Christmas Moose three years before he got a “favorite troll” nomination.

R158, I don’t know how I feel about being called a troll. Is this truly something to be flattered about?!

The next chapter in the broken arm saga:

I am generally feeling better, but I tried to take the dog to the park on a walk the other day and I couldn’t get him in the car! He doesn’t jump up into the back seat, so I typically pick him up. I tried forever to get him in, but no luck. Last night my husband made a ramp to keep in the back, I am hoping the dog will use it.

Hopefully this cast comes off soon!

How’s the dog ramp working for ya?

I can't wait until your little cast comes off your little arm---then you'll stop posting your boring progress reports.

Fuck off R162. No one wants to hear how bored you are.

R163, you stink and you're old.

OP are you a midget or a frau?

Maybe he’s both R165

R165 - I have been following Ernst for months. He’s not a midget, per se, just a little short and it seems helpless. I think I could write an Ernst Biography if called to do so.

R163, you fuck off, cunt.

“No, you hang up first.”

“No, you hang up first.”

On some nights like this, shawty, I can't help but think about us

R161, we took him to the park again tonight. I couldn’t get him to go up the ramp. Luckily hubby was able to lift him still!

R171 Did try using a line of snausages up the ramp to the backseat?

R172, I haven’t attempted that. He’s not a very good motivated dog, it makes training new tasks much harder!

Hi everyone. I get my cast off next week and yesterday was my last day with the special ed kiddos. They had been asking since school starts to sign my cast so I finally let them on my last day. They’re a good bunch, glad I got to spend time with them!

[quote]OP are you a midget or a frau?

I think R174 just answered that question.

How ever will you cradle your mug?