Look homeward, Rhoda: Valerie Harper referred to hospice care

Very sad.

Terribly sad.

She's 79, but that's no comfort. I wanted Valerie and MTM to live and work to Betty White's age.

Is it true that Valerie and Julie Kavner didn't get along?

[quote]"There are two special ANGELS on this planet masquerading as humans who live and work together, that have made it possible to have all of Val's needs taken care of," Tony wrote on Tuesday.

I wonder if it's Ed Asner and one of Valerie's other co-stars who are quietly picking up her medical tab.

I expect candlelit vigils with a capella versions of the Rhoda theme song.

Keeping the dying person comfortable in familiar surroundings is the top goal of hospice care, so OP's summary doesn't make sense. If you're turning down the hospice referral, it's because you want to continue treatment (other than palliative).

There is in-patient hospice and there is home hospice. It sounds as if the husband has chosen to receive the hospice services at home.

But hospice care does alone one to die quietly, with dignity, in one's home, as appropriate. But I'll shut up. It's between her and her husband. I'm very, very grateful for the hospice nurses who looked after my Dad.

Back to the main topic, Valerie, who brought us so much joy: you knew how to turn a line into gold. I wanted you as my best friend. I'm sorry for your husband and friends that you loved, but please know that are many, many people who you've never met you who love you, too, even if from a great distance.

We won't always have Valerie, but we will always have Li'l Abner.

I hope she's comfortable as can be, aware of her surroundings, and there are loved ones by her side.

Growing up gay wasn't easy in the '70s and '80s, and I got so much comfort from television- Mary and Rhoda, Lucy, Samantha, Jeannie, Andy of Mayberry, Gomer Pyle, Gidget, the Bradys, and all the rest. Delving into the dream world of Screen Gems, Desilu, MTM Productions, and Norman Lear was always a great escape, and I'm reminded of how much it all meant to me when we lose one of the people who helped make it happen.

Valerie's husband says he was told to "put" her in hospice — indicating an inpatient facility — but he wants to keep her at home, "making Val as comfortable as possible."

It could just be his way of letting people know the illness has progressed and this is it. My impression was that most hospice/palliative care was done at home these days (assuming the dying have partners/family).

[quote]I have been told by doctors to put Val in Hospice care and I can’t [because of our 40 years of shared commitment to each other] and I won’t because of the amazing good deeds she has graced us with while she’s been here on earth. We will continue going forward as long as the powers above allow us, I will do my very best in making Val as comfortable as possible.

[quote]There are two special ANGELS on this planet masquerading as humans who live and work together, that have made it possible to have all of Val’s needs taken care of. For those of you who have been in this position, you will totally understand that “it’s hard letting go.” So as long as I’m able and capable, I’ll be where I belong right beside her. Many, many thanks for your outpouring of kindness and support.

She is due to turn 80 on August 22nd, I hope she makes it.

Why are other people having to pick up her medical costs? She 79 so doesn't she have Medicare? Doesn't SAG or some other TV/movie industry group provide insurance to their members? She has to have made millions of dollars over the length of her career. Where did all her money go?

Part of his reasoning for not pursuing hospice is because of “the amazing good deeds she graced us with.” Indeed, I love Valerie who has brought so much joy to the world. But I worry he has the wrong idea about hospice, that it is akin to some sort of punishment that should not be brought upon good people. I hope he realizes that hospice services can maximize comfort and dignity at the end-of-life, and can be a great resource for both her and her family at home even while he remains the primary caregiver. It’s a choice for him and Valerie, but it is out there in public And found his reasoning puzzling. But I wish the best for Valerie at this stage!!

R13 From what I've read she and her husband have maxed out their health insurance and used up almost all their money caring for her during the last few years.

And no one in Hollywood could pay for what they need?

She's been dying longer than her career was alive.

We discussed hospice care for my Dad with one of our local hospitals. We were told it could either be in a hospice facility which was associated with the hospital, or at the home with the doctors and nurses visiting at the house.

That was a nice post, R10.

I wonder if she's even lucid at this point.

I guess it's any day now. We are already so sad in our shitty country.

I know it sounds silly, but so many have enjoyed Valerie's unique and relatable talents.

God r13, you must be a Republican.

It could be that the doctors wanted her at an inpatient hospice because of the extent and complexity of her cancer, so she could be monitored and medicated at all times.

Brain cancer is an excruciating way to die.

I hope they do have in-home hospice care and are fully stocked on morphine — nothing else assuages terminal cancer pain as effectively.

etc.

[quote] God [R13], you must be a Republican.

Hardly, just a rational person who knows when there is more to a story than is being told.

[quote]Brain cancer is an excruciating way to die.

Something most Trump voters need never worry about.

When the family clears out the clothes, I hope they sell them back to Shot Down Over Ecuador, Jr.

R19 Thank you. These people mean alot to me.