Datalounge is going to Branson!

I’m gonna buy so much salt water taffy.

OP, I will cut you.

Tina, bring me the axe!

R1, then you need to visit Mitch Joseph, taffy craftsman!

If we can't stay at the Well Resort, I'd rather just stay home.

^ WELK, dammit

Everyone loves the KaPau Plummet at White Water!

Muriel has got to give us an ignore thread feature that works.

I would love to join you OP but I have to stay home and wash my hair.

You have fun though.

forgot about the 17 that died in the duckboat accident a year ago last week...RIP

I would love to join you OP but I have to go to r8's and watch them wash their hair.

You are really gonna pass up the opportunity to see the Shoji Tabuchi Show, which Art Linkletter says "Now I know what everyone in Hollywood is talking about!"!

He's the Emperor of Branson!

I'm looking forward to seeing Andy Williams.

I can't wait to see the half-Titanic in a parking lot.

The Datalounge Knobpolishers will be going!

I would like to join you OP but I have to drive R10 to R8’s place.

When does the good clean fun ever end?

HARD PASS!

Forget Homozesuals, there will be no PDA’s or dirty hand holding allowed among str8’s!

I'd love to come but I'm black. Please advise.

^Well, we do have balcony seating. My dear, have you never seen “To Kill a Mockingbird”?

I'd love to come but I am live vlogging R15 taking R10 over to R8's hair washing event.

We must go to Yakov Smirnoff's theater for his entertainment spectacular. A great time will be had by all.

WOW Barry Williams! Count us in!

Our church bus from Daughterfuck had no bathroom for 800 miles so we drank eachother’s piss!

Definitely the duck boa....

I want to hear the backstory on Dorothy and Tabuchi in R11 ... are white ladies allowed to marry Asians in Branson????

I admit I went and read the Wikipedia articles on both Tabuchi and Smirnoff. They are pretty interesting.

Yes I have nothing else to do.

R26 they can get married but any children they have must remain white. It's Branson law.

We'll have to organize a group lunch. I recommend Whippersnappers, home of the all you can eat seafood buffet.

I love the fact that Whippersnappers is not shy about excluding vegetables from their menu. Hubby and I find the presence of greens on the table revolting. Thanks, Whippersnappers, for providing a safe space for us!

In Branson it's known as the "all you can gorge buffet".

In Branson, corn is the only vegetable they serve.

I came for a tossed salad; I left with a tossed roll.

I’m on a 5000 calorie a day diet, I hope they will accommodate my special needs.

Those Lennon sisters are darling!

Why I hear Branson even has commodes that flush themselfs!

Our full-figured friends might want to sit our trip to Silver Dollar City out. From Trip Advisor:

[quote] I had a bad expressed we could not go on any rides do too the weight limited guess only skinny people can go too this theme park . Will not go there every again . 😡😡😡😡

Nothing like a bad "expressed" to ruin your day!

Will someone please report back on Yakov Smirnoff's hair? It looks like a lace-front in some areas and plugs in others, but it also has white roots.

Jackov, er I mean Yakov, is 68 years old. Of course he dyes his hair.

Smirnoff was never funny.

Them homasexshals need to stay in Eureka Springs.

[quote]Datalounge is going to Branson!

Oh no it fucking isn't!

You assholes can go on your own.

Muriel you have to go... I've already put the deposit down on the bus and you're the only one with a CDL.

R44 - pay your buck-fifty and shut the fuck up.

You're terrible Muriel...

OK, you bitches — I may be the only DLer who's actually been to Branson (a friend who's way into sick camp insisted). We were there about 2 1/2 days, which was 2 1/2 days too long. Some memories:

- Some of the shows have a 9:00 curtain. That's 9 AM. Apparently Maw and Paw are up at 5 or 6, trough their way through a breakfast buffet, and are ready for ENTERTAINMENT.

- The luxe bathrooms at the Shoji Tabuchi theater are open all day for tour buses. They look like what Liberace would have done if he didn't have enough money. There's a pool table in the middle of the men's room right by the urinals.

- At the time there was a show called "Positive Country," which was a country music revue with no cheatin' or sinnin'. Of course we decided it was "HIV Positive Country" and came up with a bunch of song titles. My favorite was "She Got the Truck and I Got the AIDS."

- We about lost it in the Red Skelton clown shop-museum — Christian fraus were walking around like it was the Louvre.

- The campiest thing we saw was "Elvis and the Superstars" — an old guy doing impersonations while his wife alternated between being Patsy Cline, etc. and helping change the stage. His grandchildren ran the lights. There were about 20 people in the audience.

So many more memories... including a visit to Branson's gay bar...

Can we arrive by bus?

[quote]- At the time there was a show called "Positive Country," which was a country music revue with no cheatin' or sinnin'. Of course we decided it was "HIV Positive Country" and came up with a bunch of song titles. My favorite was "She Got the Truck and I Got the AIDS."

I'd imagine bus is the only way that most Branson visitors CAN get around. That or a flatbed truck.

I meant to get there. I’d love to join in, but I’m afraid to fly. Besides, buses are so much friendlier—especially if enough DLers are interested for a special charter. We could play charades and sing.

Branson is a poop-hole & full of homosexuals!

A friend of mine had the title role in Jonah and the Whale at the Sight and Sound Theater there for a while. The pictures looked tacky in the extreme.

R47 What was Branson's gay bar like? Did you get lucky?

[quote]What was Branson's gay bar like? Did you get lucky?

It was a bit out of town. We drove past it several times before realizing it was in the back of an abandoned strip mall.

It turned out to be an empty old supermarket — you walked through a darkened area where the aisles used to be toward the back where there was a scary bar setup. They were singing karaoke and it was very mixed gay-lesbian and all white.

We thought it would be fun to befriend some of the locals and hear stories about the productions they were in, but frankly it just felt too sad. I hope they were happy but the mood was depressing and closet-y.

^What a macabre picture, especially the back of an empty, darkened, supermarket -😱!

But, we were wondering more about the supposed red hot glory hole scene at the Donnie & Marie Theater?

Great thread.

I have learned so much about Flyoverstan from DL. (No sarcasm)

I never even knew Branson existed before I found this site.

Will there be room for my mobility scooter and oxygen tank?

The aforementioned Silver Dollar City is the place to be. Due to the weight-restricted rides, the men’s rooms have become an all-you-can-eat buffet of fundie cock — as much as you care to gag on. Just make a bald-eagle shadow with your hands and you’ll be awash in fat, frustrated cock!

[quote]There is constant action that occurs in some bathrooms below at Silver Buck City. The bathroom by the ticket booths and also the one down by the Kitty Park next to the cinema are generally best. Touching foot as well as using your hand shadow is the very best method to obtain somebodies focus.

I’m getting an error message when it try to post the link, but it’s listed as “Silver Dollar City Amusement Park Restroom” on cruisinggays dot com.

Silver Dollar City restrooms are overrated, unless you hookup with a staff member. Tons of sex among the staff. Not the artisans. The seasonals.

You mean I won't find him in the stalls?? What a disappointment!

How does it compare to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge/Dollywood?

It sounds like a year-round MichFest for deplorables.

Oh, R61.

"Little Miss Taffy," as he is known, isn't considered an artisan. He's game, too, but the stalls in the men's rooms are too small for him to fit in and when he tried to do an understall rim job they had to cut a hole in the shack roof to crane him out. He had to pretent to have had a stroke and was off work for three months. He lost 140 pounds. But it was back in three weeks.

Be sure to book your rooms at the luxurious Colonial Mountain Inn (as recently seen on "Hotel Impossible.")

r64 are you a Branson insider?? Is it true that Shoji Tabuchi's daughter has ruined his show with her shitty singing?

Why do you hate Christina R66? Is it because you are jealous of her voice, or her thriving Maskcara business?

We're here to give you something sweet 🍬🍭

[quote]^What a macabre picture, especially the back of an empty, darkened, supermarket -

I'll add on the way back to our motel we came across a hulking building that looked like an abandoned Planet Hollywood or Urban Cowboy or something. There were a lot of cars in the parking lot so we stopped for one last drink.

There were indeed a lot of young people on the dance floor. The bartender came over and we ordered two Heinekens, which were the "expensive" beers. When we asked how much they were (after they were served) the bartender just gave us an odd look, like we'd said something inappropriate, and walked away. We drank our free beers and went back to the motel.

Branson was one of the weirdest places I ever visited.

Do they have corn pones?

Are gays even welcomed in Branson? Is there a "you must be at least this fat" before entering? At least the caftan queens will be happy there!!!

Gays are low-key "allowed" at "Broadway's Greatest Hits".

[quote]This experience on the Branson stage is something that you do not want to miss out on. The next time you spend an evening in the glamorous city of Branson, MO, be sure to add this show onto your agenda. Visiting New York City isn't necessary when you've got this all-ages Broadway production right in your backyard!

I saw a show at Shoji Tabuchi's theatre about 25 years ago. Apparently he and Mel Tillis were great friends but Mel wouldn't take Shoji fishing anymore because Shoji eats the bait. Yes Mel actually said that and it received a big laugh. My friend from the deep south drawled "Well that was awkward".

Flyoverstani Friends-- how far is Branson from the lake where the Netflix series Ozark is set? (Pretty sure it's a real place)

Thanks!

Two hours drive. Just Google Mapped it

I had to look it up. Dear God there really is a HALF TITANIC attraction in Branson. Funny stuff. Those red necks are simple to please.

Why are they so obsessed with the Titanic?

Because of that shitty movie??

I can't wait to see Michael Phillips, associate knifemaker at Silver Dollar City, in the flesh. They sure do grow em fine in Missura!

Lordy, there's gonna be a line out the door and around the block at the Cracker Barrel.

There’s a Titanic in Pigeon Forge, too.

r80 Is it the other half?

I was born and raised in Missouri, but even with that, I still felt like a martian visiting planet Earth when I was in Branson.

Someone in my family scored tickets to the Wayne Newton show. Fucker didn't show up. So much for "Mr. Showmanship."

LOL, R81.

Road Trip: Branson, Dollywood, then that ridiculous Noah's Ark attraction in Kentucky.

R84, that is my kinda trip!

I thought the ark got rained on and sank.

Don’t forget Graceland!

R84 That’s not a Class Trip, that’s a Trash Trip!

Let's stop by the Opry somewhere along the way. I'm gonna get me a Minnie Pearl hat.

Tennessee is the white-trashiest state in the Union: Graceland, Grand Ol' Opry, Dollywood, Gatlinburg, Chattanooga Choo Choo, Parthenon in Nashville, etc.

Tennessee is Mississippi with economic development.

Kentucky is Malibu with no beach and no money.

The Parthenon looks cool. It is apparently a faithful reconstruction to scale with the statue of Athena. I’d like to see it.

Nashville is awesome!! Some pretty hot and dumb guys to fuck there!

[quote]The Parthenon looks cool. It is apparently a faithful reconstruction to scale with the statue of Athena. I’d like to see it.

We are NOT stopping there. That takes time away from the buffets and time is limited.

From what a friend from Missouri, or flyoverllandia tells me, Branson has a problem with METH and that the tweakers come out at night and are kept away from the tourists.

I think the last DL convention at the Javits Center sounded more festive .

R96 How can you tell the tweakers from the tourists?

The Haygoods are a single family act that has been together 28 years!

They’re kinder & less sanctimonious.

R100 for R98