The Faithtones

You can’t what?

If you read through the article at R2, you will see at the bottom of it, the writer included this sentence: "Please note: The preceding article was an exercise in fictional creative writing."

Hot! Sex kittens! Meeeooowwwww! Hisssssssss!

R3 thanks! I fell for it damn it!

They're Men, Baby!!!!

I spy with my little eye... at least one labia licker

God forgive me.

Per r6.....

I think the one on the right is my Uncle Alton.

Anyone who claims "Trans" is something new, just needs to look at the OP's pic and realize there have been "Trans" people all along.

OMG! That's Ginny from billing in the middle!

I just looked at auctions finishing in the last couple of months on eBay. NO Faith Tones merch. NONE.

Got sidetracked looking for more info on The Faiths Tones.

R15 OMG! The Amen album cover is everything! WTF was with their obsession with puppets in 60s/70s?

No thread of this ilk is complete without Joyce.

Wow....I thought the one on the right was Stephen Fry...now I can't unsee it

They look like frau drag queens.

Thanks OP threads like this keep me coming back to this site. Those album covers hahahaha

The middle one looks a bit like Frank Conniff aka TV's Frank from MST3K.

What's that I hear?

Listen

The Singing Richeys are on Facebook!!

Is that what you might call a 'handsome woman'?

Trios always put the prettiest one in the middle.

Here's one of The Singing Richies' songs.

Dear, sweet, tacky Diane at r27: Trios always put the whoriest one in the middle.

r17, Joyce deserved a much bigger career. She truly is one of the all-time greats. Her voice was sent from the heavens above.

Joyce's voice will bring tears to your eyes. Listen for yourself:

Bobbi Mohan-Culp obviously used Joyce's stylist.

The higher the hair, the closer to God.

Something Happened to Daddy.....

Are we sure 'Joyce' isn't Andrea Martin in an SCTV skit?

Peter Sellers was a genius.

The FT’s should sing the National Anthem at the opening of the RNC Convention.

At least, that’s the rumor. I heard that somewhere.

I.....

I need to know who does their hair ...... It's fabulous!

OH this is so so sad. Look at all this white culture that would have been lost without Datalounge!

Were they trying to molest Jesus, r38?

Short and sweet....

If that hairdo at @r44 gets any higher, St. Peter will be able to reach down and snatch that wiglet right off of her head.

Kung Fu Gospel

r46, I knew Myrna Loy, Myrna Loy was a friend of mine. r46 you are no Myrna Loy."

Would've made a cool look for a new wave band.

When I was a kid my aunt gave me a small collection of Little Marcy records like this one here where she sings to $1.98 children, among other things she covered was the Pebbles and Bam Bam classic Let The Sun Shine In, I think she was the inspiration for the bride of Chucky.

Joyce is the taller, brunette sister of Tootsie.

R51 Like looking in a mirror!

The little person in R43 could add more than a few inches by paying attention to some of these ladies' coiffures.

Let’s a take a little listen.

All that hairspray dissolved the ozone layer over Michigan.

OMG, r50. this is scary......

A Youtube comment:

After her label dropped her, Marcy turned to a life of crime and drugs. She shacked up with Jerry Mahoney for awhile but he kicked her to the curb! Partied with Chucky,for awhile! Last I heard, her bloated body was fished out of New York harbor! Another tragic Rock tale. Fame is a bitch!

I can totally see it.

R50 WTF are $1.98 children?

The ones you can pick up at any interment camp down at the border.

Those are the Trump leftovers. He marks them down and ships them on after he and Epstein are done.

[quote]Are we sure 'Joyce' isn't Andrea Martin in an SCTV skit?

Or Kath Day-Knight.

Sister Vestal Goodman, queen of gospel and Pentecostal high hair

I like it at the end when the cat locks him out of the house.

Remember that Criminal Minds episode with Brad Dourif?

omg this is my fave thread in all of history......so g dam funny!!!!!!

No one beats my 'do, people!

Shirl did it better, r68.

These ripoff artists always go for gospel music, don't they?

Joyce.....meet Vickie.

proof that religionists are freaks of the highest order if not outright Satanists of sexual perversity

Where to start?

Let’s not forget The Handless Organist!

Does she have tiny baby hands on? r74 This thread is fucking hilarious

Using her fake tiny hands, Kristin Wiig could have had fun doing a take on the Handless Organist.

Vickie seems to be the Fourth Faithtone.

He sings fat.

I hope it was inappropriately.

The Faith Tones? We could eat them alive!

Let Me Touch Him - Kevin Spacey's favorite album

Were they guys wearing wigs? Those people were ugly.

How did these gospel groups ( especially family groups like the Richeys ) support themselves?

Did they go on tour to different churches and ministries?

best church singers of all time.

Is that Jim and Tammy Bakker at R39?

OMG r86 ! this video is life!

Merna looks like she's got an AK-47 just out of camera range and she ain't afraid to use it y'all

R86 Hold my beer

LOL R89. Maybe she has epic resting bitchface.

AHEM.

I can’t understand why Henrietta and Myrna didn’t have a bigger career.

Bless her heart

Brilliant!

What?

Summa y'all cant sing either!

In the video at R96 I particularly liked the old harpy who just started yowling about halfway through. There's something about screeching elderlies that tickles the shit out of me.

Don't forget Baby Lu-Lu how has a voice that makes Little Marcy sound butch.

Here is what became of the Faith Tones. See link

R99 I can’t, actually I can think what people in the recording studio were thinking and how they tried to forget it in the bar the same evening.

Now that’s mighty fine Christian hair OP. Amen sistuhs!

Some of those album names are very sexual. Can’t they see that or are they that naive?

South Park did a spoof of these where Cartman became a Christian singer.

I'd like to hear Baby Lu-Lu at R99 belt out her rendition of [italic]I've Written a Letter to Daddy.[/italic]

3 dudes in drag.

r100, see r2

Joyce = Helen Lawson

Vickie = Neely O'Hara

I can't believe most of these are real.

I imagine our most infamous Dataloungers looking exactly like that...

What a cruel, cruel world. How can we live in a world where the low-life Kardashians are worshipped and the glorious Faithtones are not? They deserve better, WE deserve better!

I am CRUSHED to learn that Beverly Beecham did not late in life discover a taste and talent for rug-munching.

*weeping into my Sumatran breakfast brew*

Renewed!

Sorry to take it off-topic, everyone, but the videos of these people made me start thinking of AI and deep-fake videos. Like, we all know weirdos like this, and the wide range of oddball behavior that’s out there. For instance, Merna and her pal there in r86. That chick with the bangs is absolutely expressionless, and I wondered if she were autistic or stoned. Who knows. I wondered if AI would ever account for people with behavior like hers. And the lady at r92, how ya gonna fake THAT?

[quote]Sister Vestal Goodman, queen of gospel and Pentecostal high hair

I read Vestal Goodman's autobiography. At one point, she had some serious health problems (I think she had a heart attack). She said during that time she didn't have the ability to take care of long hair, so she had it cut short. She went back with the group to start touring again. She sang at a small Pentecostal church and as she was leaving the church to go out to the parking lot to get on the bus, a group of women surrounded her and started berating her for cutting her hair. I think in that moment, she learned a lesson about legalism. But those Pentecostal women took their hair seriously!

The one on the right gave birth to Stephen Fry.

[quote]How did these gospel groups ( especially family groups like the Richeys ) support themselves? Did they go on tour to different churches and ministries?

r85, it depended how popular they were. Most gospel groups started out touring small churches and tent revival meetings. If they were good, they moved to the next level where they could record albums, go on Christian tv shows and do bigger stadium concerts with other gospel groups. Nashville used to have a week long convention of gospel groups and many could make a good chunk of money off that, between their appearances and selling records.

But it wasn't an easy life because they never would be able to make the money that non-Christian groups could make. In some ways, they were a lot like country singers, but country singers were more mainstream on tv shows like Hee Haw and the variety shows of the 60s and 70s. Large amounts of money weren't made by Christian artists until Contemporary Christian, and singers like Amy Grant, came onto the scene.

Uhh

All these people scare me. I mean... wtf is wrong with all these people?

Bobby's sister chose a higher musical path.

R40, that would be Mr. Ray's Wig World

When I was a teen I found a Little Marcy album at a thrift store and bought it for like fifty cents.....my brother and sister and I had so much fun laughing at it.

Were those high wigs supposed to hide their devil horns?

Those ladies look like the third shift at the bottling plant.

[R100] Thanks so much for that link. I’m glad I didn’t overlook it. It’s the most unexpected and fascinating article I’ve read in a while. Life always proves to be much more unpredictable and interesting than I ever would have thought.

R117 they're called the Gospel Four but there's five of them?

^^ That's because they're Christian where girls don't count

The article about the the Faith Tones isn’t true, r124.

The writer admits that he made it up.

The Faithtones were asked to be on Pee Wee's Playhouse, but they got a creepy vibe from him, so they turned the gig down. The Del Rubio Triplets were chosen and immediately shot to fame.

The Del Rubios?

BTW, r128, the Del Rubios were already big.....

Let it not be said that there is a gospel song for every ilk. This one is especially popular amongst the scat crowd:

I LEFT MY LOAD

I left my load at Calvary,

Where Jesus died for you and me,

And then there came a peace so sweet,

When I left my load of sin at Jesus’ feet.

Hairhoppers for the Lord

Not to be confused with these awful cheap girls

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?

I mean... they must dress and do their hair like that ON PURPOSE...

Pentecostal women, at least the hardcore sects like Apostolic and Holiness, strive for modesty in dress, thus the frumpy clothes and no makeup or jewelry. Their devotion to their hair is based on a literal reading of 1 Corinthians 11:15: "But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering."

Ironically, though Mormonism is anathema to orthodox Christians, many Pentecostal women are indistinguishable from FLDS women.

Modern Apostolic Modest Clothing for Today's Lady

So they ARE morons.

R117 And Jesus said “Thanks, I’ll take a taxi”

They sound like 3 rental kazoos flung down the stairs.

[quote]r121 When I was a teen I found a Little Marcy album at a thrift store and bought it for like fifty cents.....my brother and sister and I had so much fun laughing at it.