A Message to Gertie at Monday Morning Moos

Yoda lay hee... Moo?

OMG, Melrose, no! Günther, help him! Her? Whatever, it’s urgent, do something!

Gertie I can't steer this balloon without Carl anymore and he appears to be having an anxiety attack! Make a plan! Quickly, quickly!

*cough..cough... We, we can't breathe... 911 from Phyllis and the *cough Hens...

I'm coptering in.

I'm with Homer. I don't have much, but I've donned my smock and all refugees get a shampoo from me, no charge.

I have enlisted Rolf to start digging you out. At the rear wall, by the vending machines. As long as he doesn’t get distracted. Start chanting “good boy, Rolf”, if you can breath in there.

Now, I gather that Muriel has locked-down the thread? Has anyone called her a cunt lately? Not that I am, mind you. I don’t use that kind of language. But I hear that’s happening from the endangered Durrell creatures. (We have an epistolary relationship, jealous, bitches?) Is that it? Should I create a part four thread? Any suggestions for the title?

Gertie that is the worst part! Muriel emptied the vending machines! We are doomed, doomed I say. We are counting on you, Rolf. Wait a minute, aren't you a Nazi? Didn't we kiss in a gazebo after waltzing ? Oh damn you, Rolf. Damn you.

Breaking news, the situation is dire, we expect a live report from Homer in minutes...

Homer, do you read?

***cough, sputter, spit...

This is Homer, *pleh. We spiraled in, lost hydraulics. Hit the ground hard. We need clover. I see no other *plehhh option.

Tank, I know it [italic] looks [/italic] like Rolf is giving the Nazi salute here, but he’s just waving “hello”. I promise.

Titus, this is LaFitte. I'm in the copter with Homer and we crashed hard on the south barn lawn. I need you to fly me over to Gertie at the Gate and we ALL need you to NOT EAT ME TODAY. There will be EMERGENCY SHAMPOOS needed, do not get in the way of history.

Jeeze, we’re only on part troix, Muriel. It’s not like we’re Sean Mendez. Or the Menudos. I think they hold the record for the most thread sequels.

I’m hearing Muriel will be implementing a tax on mooing, too. What’s with that?

spam posted by ip address 173.234.158.82 removed.

Perhaps we need to introduce a beneficent barn animal named Muriel?

What species? Perhaps a swan?

Kinda dying over here, fuckers *plehh

Not now, Advil! We have an ongoing emergency at hand! [italic] Oh, why did it have to be on a Monday! [/italic]

R15, I’ve been getting letters suggesting we hire-on a sewer rat, 🐀 but I’m skeptical.

Murderers, all!

Do we have a read on Carl? Carl, come in.

BITCH!

Carl doesn't talk. BITCH!

Somebody ask Carl to help Rolf. Tell him there are truffles in the barn, maybe. Carl scares me, so I’m not doing it.

Maybe this is the “big thing” that was supposed to happen this week? It certainly is the biggest thing in my week.

That's just ridiculous, Lottie. A brain-damaged pig in a fedora who plays a ukelele scares you?

You are no good in an emergency. You'll be last to be airlifted.

Günther here, rejoice!

Carl is fine and he's steering ALL of us on to finer pastures, yes. Away, away!

Hush and form a line, Muhen! Except for you, Lottie. You get right on to the back.

Sorry Gals, I was on the phone long distance to my brother in Pasadena. The cows there are very sophisticated.

But where are we? Do we need a new thread? Did Rolf get through?

Oh ffs, who left Gertie in the phone booth.

I don’t get it.

Moo, R28. Just moo.