My straight friend fell asleep in my bed last night

Good luck, OP. Watch out for the heartbreak.

2/10

Unless he fell asleep after pounding you he ain’t interested. I once had a drunk “straight” friend spend the night and we fucked. His wife wouldn’t stop calling in the morning.

This is what you do OP. Tell him how nice it was to have someone to share your bed. If he asks if you're gay, tell him that you are. (If he doesn't know already.) Then invite him over to watch another movie.

[quote]My straight friend fell asleep in my bed last night

This always happens to me too, OP!

"Should I confess my feelings to him?"

Yeah, sure. Whatever, dude. Got any cash?

Surprise anal OP.

Does he know you’re gay?

Does he know you're gay? How good of a friend is this guy?

You got him all the way in your bed, overnight, and you still couldn't close the deal?

Now I am thinking about him.

You seem to care about him, OP. Stay close to him, he'll make a move if he's interested.

When did DLers get so fucking gullible? It's embarrassing how few can spot an EST now. OP's prose makes Harlequin novels seem edgy.

No str8 man would ever give another guy a long hug.

OP here. Yes, R8 and R9, he knows I'm gay. We've talked about our sexual and relationship histories quite a bit.

He's a pretty good friend, R9. We haven't known each other for very long but have a few mutual friends and it's been one of those flames that burn hot and fast. Sometimes we spend literally the entire day together. We talk about our pasts like I said, but we also talk about our future and what we'd like to do together, and where we'd like to be.

The thing is, R10, I didn't want to do anything that would damage our friendship. I'm not interested in a drunken fumble or one night stand. Like R12 says, I really do care about him. I told him he'd be the perfect boyfriend while we were sitting on the couch together recently and he just giggled and looked down at his hands, then at me. He's adorable and total partner material.

damn

What are you two bottoms gonna do with each other, anyway?

R15 this sounds like some fanfic bullshit. Either he is a homo or you are making this up. Straight friends don’t hang with their one gay buddy like this. If I told any of my straight friends they were good boyfriend material they would not “giggle”. They’d politely smile and start distancing themselves as to not give the wrong idea. Not spend the night and give long hugs. I call bs!

This will absolutely end in tears.

Just play it cool

Taking care of a "straight" guy's immediate sexual needs is one thing. Turning him into your husband is totally different, and infinitely more unlikely--despite what gay writing and cinema may tell you. Many (most?) men experience homosexual/homoerotic attraction from time to time, but because of our society's stigmas and dogmas the vast majority of them have a mental block against being a "gay guy."

Blame it on the insanity of Abrahamic religion, the influence of patriarchy and toxic masculinity, and the sadistic, repressed sexual politics of the 19th and early 20th centuries.

R21 I don’t think most straight men experience homosexual/homo erotic attraction. I feel like that’s also something gay film and popular culture wants us to think. I know I’ve never been attracted to women. I don’t think it’s any different for heterosexual men when it comes to dick. That’s why it’s best to just keep straight friends in the friend zone. If it’s too difficult to do that because of romantic feelings then sometimes you have to make the tough decision and cut them off. If not it will get messy and people will be hurt.

R22, I believe that sexuality is contingent, contextual--a spectrum, or maybe an evolving set of images and sensations over a lifetime. As Foucault and others have noted, the notion that sexuality is an unchanging, internal, black box identity is very much a modern idea. I also believe that comparing self-identified gay men with all other men is a false equivalence. Identification as a gay man is self-selecting. It means that a core facet of one's identity is intense engagement with, then rejection of heteronormativity and all that goes with it (not just sexually but socially, politically, economically and all the rest). However, the great mass of men who don't identify as gay experience a diversity of homosexual and homoerotic desires. Because straightness requires little to no critical engagement with heteronormativity, there are more unexamined desires, revulsions, complexities. I think that not only does the sexuality spectrum penetrate into straightness, but that in fact more of it resides there than even within non-heterosexuality. That's because of what I said before about minority identification necessitating critical engagement with the socially constructed sexualities we're socialized into from our earliest memories.

I know that long paragraph may come off as pompous but I felt I needed to clarify that I'm not just one of those "everyone's fluid!" or "straight men love riding cock!" fantasists who sometimes post here.

I don't know what to say, R18. It definitely happened. Maybe he was just being friendly to not hurt my feelings, but he didn't seem uncomfortable at the time. I was touching him a lot while we were having that conversation too--feeling his hair, chest, leg, foot--so he had ample opportunity to move away and distance himself if he'd wanted to. We'd been drinking moderately at that point though.

What are you going to do about it, OP?

R23 I see what you’re saying. We all have different experiences and opinions. I’m just going by what I’ve seen and what life has taught me. Sometimes we want what we can’t have, so we convince ourselves that there is a chance. That hasn’t been the case in my experience. I have seen people I care about get hurt over stuff like this. If the OP’s friend is straight then he isn’t going to be interested in being with another male sexually. If he is at all interested then he is at the very least bi, if not totally in the closet. My point is that it’s not a good idea to waste time trying to convince a self-proclaimed heterosexual man to reciprocate sexual, or romantic feelings. It doesn’t usually end well. Best to use that time investing in a man who is gay and is returning those affections.

I completely get that, R26. Honestly, you're probably right, and I think in a way I was agreeing with you in parts of my posts. I think a lot of people experience desires they're unlikely to act on and especially when it comes to openly partnering with another man--very few "straight" men will want to contemplate that, even if they feel some sort of sexual, romantic or emotional attraction that could serve as a hook.

This story is bullshit. Talk about your elaborate scenario troll

[quote]and slept top to tail with him, so as to respect his heterosexual boundaries

Jesus Christ, Prudence, you're genitals are still lined up

^^your genitals

R17: Bump Pussies.

R28 DING DING DING! Exactly. This is complete nonsense. Belongs on some 14 year old BTS fangirl’s tumblr.

Slept too to tail with him. Did you lick his feet?

^^^ top to tail

Did he state his heterosexual boundaries?

It doesn't count unless he states his heterosexual boundaries. That means, technically, he has no heterosexual boundaries.

If any of this is even remotely true he isn’t straight. He knows you’re gay and spends the night in the same bed and is comfortable with OP being touchy feely with him? Closet case or total fiction.

R26 and R27 -- I think you are both right and a lot depends on age.

There are the "Y Tu Mama, Tambien" instances that happen when guys are young--college or even high school. They develop an intense friendship and alcohol moves it across the line. Like the movie, those usually end the friendship because the guys have become so close and inseperable that they are either going to come out and be hot and heavy boyfriends or they're going to avoid each other.

Or there's a reason so many NIFTY archive stories follow that pattern--"straight" guy has major crush on his best friend, is freaked out to discover he had these feelings, they have sex one night, confess their love and flash forward to ten years later and their prefect lives surrounded by all their straight friends.

When this happens to guys over 25, they generally back off when things get too hot and heavy or it never gets sexual.

Or, on the off chance OP's story is real, his friend is indeed testing the waters.

What's he like OP? Very successful with women or sort of shy and awkward. (I'll play along)

Any how old are you both?

OP here. If you don't want to believe this is happening, fine...but I don't see why it's so unbelievable. I think a lot of us have had straight guys like this in our lives.

R33, no, I didn't lick his feet. I did rub them earlier in the night, though, with my own foot and then later with my hands. His feet are pretty humongous actually, which I've been thinking about more recently.

R35, he talks about this girl he's seeing all the time and about his own extensive record of sexual conquests. He's never said anything about being curious or anything but heterosexual. At the same time, he seems to love attention from me and other gay men (he has a lot of gay friends). So I don't know what his boundaries are.

If he has a lot of gay friends? He is definitely a closet case who is not ready to come out. I have a pocket of straight friends that I have known from work and some even from as far back as elementary school. I am usually their only gay friend, or maybe one of about three gay people they know. This doesn’t add up. He could just be really secure in his sexuality, but this seems beyond that. Smells like fruit to me.

We still haven’t heard is he hot? Is he hung?

What R39 said.

Straight guys don't hang out with large groups of gay guys on a regular basis nor do they like it when their friends flirt with them.

They may be flattered when a very femme guy flirts with them, but, as I've noted before, that's because straight guys have no idea how to relate to very femme gays. It throws their radar off. They can't talk to them about "guy" stuff and their main mode of interacting with women is to flirt so they just sort of short-circuit around femme gays.

Yeah I still think the story is bullshit. The elaborate scenario trolling of the clueless straight male is a very active and tired fantasy. If you’re going to troll why not tell it like it is and make the guy your basic closet case? Which is what this character would be if the story was the truth.

OP here. R37, He's been pretty successful with women as he tells it, but I've got no idea how much of that is true and how much is just bravado. Like I said, we've only known each other for a few months. He definitely alternates between being confident and outgoing and awkward and brittle around both sexes, though.

He's in his early 20s and I'm in my mid-20s.

R40, he's not bad looking. Basically just looks like a twunk, average height, blond, green eyes. He's in okay shape but doesn't have a gym body. As for the other thing, he's made it a point to tell me that he has a big cock, so take from that what you will.

R41, I'm not "straight acting," but I also don't think I'm especially effeminate.

Okay, he told you he has a big cock? I’m more convinced than ever this is total shit. I had one non-gay friend show me his cock and he was admittedly bi. So he was not straight, nor was he Aomori be. This is something altogether different. Heterosexual men don’t talk about their dick to their one gay friend. As R41 pointed out, even if they aren’t homophonic, they still don’t know exactly how to behave around their gay friends. Nope! Nope! Nope! This is fabricated nonsense.

Straight men talk about their cocks with other men all the time, R44. Especially if it's big (or they think it is). If he sees OP as another one of his guy friends, he might not want to treat him differently.

LOL. No they don't R45.

That's just your own personal NIFTY archive fantasy.

Well, you didn't have to sleep top to tail. I think both of you top would have been fine.

R46 right. I’ve never had a straight friend give me details about their junk. Ever. The dynamic is not the same as it is with their straight friends. I’m sure they talk about pussy and swinging their dicks when they are having a couple of beers. They just don’t do that shit when they are with me. Just like I’m not sitting around watching Sabrina and talking about how much I want to suck Ross Lynch’s cock when I’m with my straight friends. 😂

Hmmmm I think you should have gone for it, OP.

Stop falling in with love with straight guys OP. It is embarrassing and cliche and every gay boy has to grow out of it one day. They are never going to want you the way you want them.

The best you can hope for is a drunk fooling around..and then what?

OP and his straight friend must be engaged by now

This is a bit teenage for your late 50s, OP.

0.00000000001/10

Ignore all the haters! Something similar has happened to me and we ended up fucking secretly for four years.. so. fucking. hot. I once blew him while his wife was in the kitchen and he took out the recycling. Blew a load down my throat then went back inside. Luckily I have no moral compass when it comes to cheating. I was molested as a kid, so sue me

He probably CHUCKLED and looked down at his hands because you made him feel awkward or uncomfortable.

If this is indeed a real account, be cool, OP. Keep your dignity. Let him make the first move. He will if he wants to.

[quote] I know that long paragraph may come off as pompous

Oh, not at ALL!

OP here. How weird to see this topic bumped after more than six months.

He did tell me that he has a big cock, R44. I don't know how to convince you other than to tell you earnestly that it isn't as rare a thing to share as you seem to believe it is. He's hardly the first straight man I've known who has bragged about the size of his penis. Oh, and since this thread was last replied to, I've seen his cock...when he showers, he's cool with me walking into the bathroom to grab stuff, so I can say that he's pretty long even when flaccid.

Thank you to those who have offered actual advice. I've pretty much done what you've said (played it cool). He broke up with his girlfriend because she was stringing him along. I supported him emotionally through that. He's happier now and hasn't been with any women since then. He's kind of at a place in life where he's trying to find himself. Whether that includes his sexuality, I don't know. I am trying to be a loyal friend to him and not a sleaze.

He had to get his temperature taken anally at the hospital recently. When he got home, he made sure to describe the entire experience to me in close detail, then said "yeah, it wasn't that bad, actually" and stared at me. I didn't know what to say, so I got up from the couch, said something dismissive, and went to another room. I'm kind of hopeless.

[quote]He had to get his temperature taken anally at the hospital recently. When he got home, he made sure to describe the entire experience to me in close detail, then said "yeah, it wasn't that bad, actually" and stared at me.

This never happened.

So many amateur fiction writers on DL.

with the latest anal experience share story in R58, the score has dropped to

-1,000/10

Meh. The writing isn't too terrible and OP doesn't sound like a miscreant. I gave a 5/10 initially, but then R58 dropped it down to a 2/10.

OP, what's taking so long?

Girlfriend gone, the field is clear, get moving...!

You're a psycho.

Don't ruin the friendship.

[quote]Either he is a homo or you are making this up.

I do not believe those two are mutually exclusive.

I just found this thread and jerked off twice! Please, please OP - more information. I was done for the second time after the anal temperature story. I don't care if you're making it all up. This thread is taking me down a wonderful path. I just want to cuddle now.

[quote] I'm kind of hopeless.

Yes, that much seems clear.

Gross. I hate letch like gays. Like OP.

[quote] He had to get his temperature taken anally at the hospital recently.

You idiot! That was the perfect opportunity for you to say, 'Let me do it... with my all-beef thermometer!"

woof

Just sniff his ass and crotch, and be done with it.

Call him by your name, and if he gets it, have a peach within reach.

R45/R46

Oh, some straight men do. One was the President of the United States and very, very straight.

Even his wife understood.

OP I have had similar experience. I have a few straight friends - who like brothers- sit close to me at movies, eat off my plate while dining out, kiss me on the cheeks or lips as a greeting/goodbye, even sleep in the same bed, sometimes cuddling. My best advice is that you have to stop thinking of every man as a sexual object. Even though you know you like him and he likes you, that doesn't mean that there is a covert sexual relationship waiting to blossom. If he were gay, sleeping next to you, and you were friends- would you still want him? Or is it the forbidden nature of the lust that really turns you on? I have a great many straight male friends. The ones that I am close to are easy and happy to fall asleep in my bed, cuddle, even have me massage their feet. But that's because we are being buds, not because that's the limit of our sexual desires or they will only go so far. If I were you I would have cuddled that night if we really were friends. One of my best friends sometimes spends the night with me when his wife is on business trips. He is body taker. By that I mean he cuddles, throws his legs and arms all over you, even puts his head on your chest. His wife and I laugh at his sleeping habits. Not once I have taken that as invitation to sex. Because we are really friends, kin. If this guy is really your friend then ask him. But my feeling is he is a tease and you like it that way.

But I will say most guys who like to get their feet rubbed by other guys want more unless there is a relationship already.

Those who say that straight guys don't talk about their dicks have obviously never hung around (you should excuse the expression) with cops. Even if we didn't share locker rooms and had never seen each others' dicks, we could probably describe most of those dicks based on descriptions and anecdotes provided by their owners. I've also swapped dick stores with a few of my straight civilian friends.

My favorite gays are the bitchy little queens like R60 R61 R63 who contribute absolutely nothing to the conversation, no insight, not even a good barb. Just brain dead ratings out of 10 or bitchy comments or calling OP’s fraus. They don’t ever contribute posts / they just come here to troll and be valid little cunts hidden behind their computer screens.

R75 / good lord I want you to face fuck me lol

Welcome to DL, R76, where most posts involve "bitchy little queens". Please take some of that internalized homophobia and put it to good use. The rating scale is used when people suspect the post is an EST... This was a decent EST until the OP's later comment. Stop trying to oppress us, frau!

I read this comment when it was first posted last Summer. It sounded like a Dear Deirdre shit back then and it still sounds like Dear Deirdre shit now.

Knowingly getting a guy drunk to have sex with you is predatory behavior, especially as you get older. Knowingly putting yourself in a position where a straight guy can refuse you- speaks volumes about your own lack of self confidence.

Knowingly confusing love and lust is pure stupidity.

For a year I had Chino, a gorgeous straight Peruvian Keanu Reeves lookalike- follow me like a puppy dog. One day we went to sit on an empty bus, and rather than sit together, he sat on the other side and I realized he didn’t see the relationship like I did. I ended it without ever having any sex, and another guy quickly replaced me. Save yourself the heartache, toots.

This thread just gets better and better. I don’t know if it’s the prolonged isolation, or the fact that I’m drinking my fifth Truly seltzer, but OP talking about creeping this dude whilst he showers has me in hysterics. He is seriously just standing there that long to check out his friend’s penis....obsessing over how long it is, the thickness, how purple the head is...