Ways to be moderately evil in daily life

Not tipping with a service like DoorDash because you know the delivery people won't find out

Eating at Chik-fil-A even though you know some amount of your dollars are probably being donated to religious causes and anti-gay candidates and organizations

Isn't dosing food with things like laxatives (or any medicines or medications) illegal in some places?

I could swear that it's considered some form of assault or criminal battery. If it results in serious dehydration or hospitalization (which apparently it can), the charged could be increases significantly.

Probably not a good idea.

DoorDash people do see their tips and on which deliveries.

Both Doordash and Postmates delivery drivers see who tips and who doesn’t. They also can easily figure out who gave them a bad review. Beware.

According to DoorDash policy they don't tell them who tips and who doesn't. Not sure about the other services.

r3 they aren't dosed with laxatives. They are properly-labeled bags of sugar free gummi bears. If you eat too many of them at once they can have a laxative effect and have you shitting for hours.

Sugar alcohols are what do it, and they are the ingredient found in most sugar free candies instead of sugar.

You're misinformed, R6. They do show which orders added tips. This is commonly discussed on DoorDash subreddits, for example. When I was between jobs last year I drove for them and could see the tips belonging to specific orders in my dasher app.

Do DoorDash drivers not get their tips? Wtf?

- Leaving your dog's shit on the sidewalk; or, stepping over someone else's dog shit and not warning the person walking behind you of its location, leaving the unfortunate person to likely step in it.

- Giving tourists wrong directions.

r9 the DoorDashers are never the same person usually so it's a crapshoot :)

Doordash JUST changed the policy so it shows the breakdown of orders, this is a very recent thing.

Well there are things you can do. For example lock picking is a very good skill to have. Creatively re-wiring electrical circuitry is another. Just think - it's even more fun on modern cars. All you have to do is re-wire the fuel injectors.

Mocking people under your breath.

Leaving the toilet seat up after peeing in the communal work toilet

Can you door dash idiots knock it off and start contributing to the subject of the thread? I hate you.

I call the Chinese restaurant, where the Chinese bitch who works and owns the place and is a total bitch, and order a ton of food. I tell the cunt that I will pick it up then I never do.

Shading the graduates of the lesser Ivies.

Take a screenshot of a co-worker’s desktop, then change their wallpaper to that image.

Finishing off the roll of toilet paper at work, and taking the spare one home with you so there's none left.

Not flushing shits in a public restroom. Also, shitting in the toilet tank.

What's wrong with black locust trees?

[quote] When I was between jobs last year I drove for them and could see the tips belonging to specific orders in my dasher app.

So do you provide extra "services" to big tippers?

[quote]What's wrong with black locust trees?

Cultural appropriation.

R23 you’re an idiot and I hate your stinkin’ guts. You suck. Go start a door dash thread you goddamn filthy asshole.

They’re very invasive r22.

Stealing the mail in the box of the neighbor you hate.

Cameras are everywhere now idiots.

Following gay guys on social media who post risque selfies and then reporting their photos.

"Cameras are everywhere now, idiots."

There, fixed it for you.

Correcting other posters' grammar.

While shopping in a grocery store, stepping over food that has fallen off the shelf instead of picking it up and putting it back in place. Talk about first-world privilege, showing such disregard for food when people around the world are starving.

R31 doesn't understand the topic.

Never turn a handle when closing a door; always pull them shut instead of closing them.

OK, OP - what does it mean for a tree to "sucker?"

Never mind, I found it.

It just means an offshoot from the root that comes up nearby - never heard it called that before.

adulterating food or other products is a serious crime. Even those idiots licking the ice cream and putting it back are being arrested and charged with a felony offense

Have you ever heard of the candy called Swedish Fish? They have just come out with tropical flavored Swedish Fish. They're delicious, but they will give you explosive diarrhea

buy a few bags for your worst enemy

Adding random, preferably small items, to people's shopping carts when they have their backs turned. The more incriminating, the better, especially if you're in like the health products section of a store.

If you just meet someone and you don't like them, call them by the wrong name - all the time

I used to work with a lazy, useless woman named Lena (pronounced Len-a). This guy who worked with us always called her Lane-a. It used to piss her off. I asked him why he did it, and he said, "to piss her off". We all worked together in one room for 3 years. In all that time he only called her by her real name once and that was by accident

[quote] Cameras are everywhere now idiots.

Yes, it's so unfortunate

I miss the good old days of the 1980's and 1990's. revenge was so easy back then. Now you have to really work at it

I practice r39. I will now put r38 into practice. Love that idea.

[quote] Stealing the mail in the box of the neighbor you hate.

That's a federal offense. With everyone having those RING cameras on their house, it's super risky. If you want to get someone whose married or in a relationship, go online at the library and have some vacation information sent to their house in the name of someone their spouse/partner has fucked around with/dated/were married to before

If they don't like gay people, have all kinds of literature from gay groups or sex catalogues sent to their house. If the wife is straight, have sex catalogues sent to the husband

Stealing mail is inherently evil. Not moderately. Disqualified!! May we suggest Mr. Ray’s Wig World.

Upper deckers

Kidnapping my neighbor’s cat and holding it for ransom.

Fucking fraus’ husbands.

Putting the gris-gris on people who cross me.

[quote] Fucking fraus’ husbands.

That's not evil, that's just fun.

Let doors slam behind you, in someone else’s face.

Where are Sir Simon Milligan and Hecubus when you need them?!

Letting tree branches slam behind you, in someone else's face.

For a time I didn't get along with my brother and SIL. For birthdays and at Christmas I would by my niece and nephew toys that made noise. The more noise the better. They were the gifts that kept on giving.

Why would you waste money on getting women fat?

Refusing to let others merge on the highway,

R42 Corollary: send gay conversion therapy literature in the husband's name.

[quote]For birthdays and at Christmas I would by my niece and nephew toys

Oh, dear!

R51 because it's funny

I once got screwed over by a guy who said he wanted to buy my car -- I drove many miles to meet him and he never showed up. Next day, I signed him up for every record club, book club (this was in the '80s), magazine, visits from the Mormons, etc. that I could find.

I drop turnip seeds on my neighbor's manicured lawn. His kid's toys are always in my driveway.

Claiming a seat for your bag at a bar or on public transport when it's crowded. Hold or hang that shit!

R57 try planting a black locust close to the property line! Tee hee!

R57 try planting a black locust close to the property line! Tee hee!

Set up their autocorrect to replace “the” with “cuntface.”

Bamboo under the fence, R59.

Fire slugs and snails into the garden of the neighbours from hell (well their kids screech and yell a bit). That'll sort them.

r62 I tried that. It was slow growing bamboo. They countered with a wildly invasive melon vine.

When approaching a busy intersection and the light is green, and you can easily make it through it, instead incrementally slow down until the light turns red, so everyone behind you has to sit through another light.

[quote] r3: Isn't dosing food with things like laxatives (or any medicines or medications) illegal in some places? I could swear that it's considered as trophies as poisoning from of assault or criminal battery. If it results in serious dehydration or hospitalization (which apparently it can), the charged could be increases significantly.

Probably not a good idea.

Remember when you could order 10 records for a penny? We used to do that and have them sent to someone else. That and order pizzas.

I park in handicapped parking spaces whenever I can.

R68 YES! You are my hero!!

Who needs to steal mail from a house mailbox. It isn't so much what you can take from it, it should be what nefarious purposes you can use that mailbox. That's why you sign them up for gay, ex-gay, or what have you. More fun that way.

If there is a tip jar, I am not bussing my own table.

Let your hotel door SLAM when you leave in the morning so you can wake up anyone else who might have been sleeping.

Taking your own sweet time in the airplane aisle while you slowly put your luggage up top, and get all your stuff settled in your seat before stepping out of the mother fucking aisle.

[quote]Let your hotel door SLAM when you leave in the morning so you can wake up anyone else who might have been sleeping.

On a business trip, I was given a room next to members of a cheer squad who had a competition in the morning. The walls were thin and the hotel was full.

After the third call to the front desk to ask them to SHUT THOSE GIRLS UP I gave up. I had to get up at 5 for a flight and I probably got two hours' sleep.

Since I was up, I figured they might as well be too so I called them at 5 am. And at 5:10 am. And at 5:15 am. Etc. On one of the calls I said I was the hotel front desk and that the room had requested a wakeup call. That was fun when they called the front desk.

After my bags were packed, I made one last call in which I said "MWAHAHAHAHA" and left for the airport.

R33 I've heard that before but never understood. What's the deal with turning/not turning the handle?

Because when you don't turn the handle when closing the door it basically slams and pisses off anyone in the vicinity who doesn't smash shit around like a crazed baboon and isn't used to hearing crash-boom-bang noises every five seconds.

I’ve got IBS and find controlled release of gas eases both the crush of crowded spaces and my bloated bowels.